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Midsummer First Reads Script

Introduction:

Lue will welcome everyone to first reads and will give opening remarks.

Lue will introduce Taylor and Kelsey

(lue, video / audio offTaylor and kelsey, video / audio on)

Taylor: Thanks Lue! Kelsey and I will be running things behind the scenes today. For all you live-streamers we hope you'll participate in the live chat function on YouTube!

Kelsey: We will be keeping an eye on the chat and bringing your questions and comments into the discussion portions of today, so let us know what is coming up for you and what questions you may have and we will bring them into the live discussions with our artists.

Taylor: Thanks to the generosity of the Hitz Foundation, we are proud to provide an honorarium to everyone involved in first reads. If you would like to contribute to the well-being and payment of artists in these unprecedented times, we have a couple of suggestions for you:

Kelsey: The Dramatists Guild Foundation provides emergency financial assistance to individual playwrights, composers, lyricists, and bookwriters in dire need of funds due to severe hardship or unexpected illness. Their requests for grants has spiked due to covid-19. They depend heavily on contributions from individuals like you so they may continue to provide immediate relief to writers.

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Taylor: And The Actor's Fund. Since March 18, 2020, The Actors Fund has distributed $8.2 Million in emergency financial assistance to more than 6,900 people in our industry. This money is helping people cover basic living expenses, such as food, essential medications, utilities and more. To make donations, we are putting the links to these organizations in the description on YouTube and they can also be found at playonshakespeare.org/firstreads. Thanks everyone!

(Taylor and Kelsey audio / video off)

Lue will talk a bit more and then introduce director Sara Bruner

(Lue – audio / video offSara – audio video on)

Sara Bruner gives remarks. Afterward, introduces playwright Jeff Whitty.

(Sara – audio / video off (Jeff – audio video on)

Jeff gives remarks. Afterward, introduces Dramaturg Philippa Kelly.

(Jeff – audio / video off (Philippa – audio video on)

Philippa gives remarks. Afterward, gives it back to Lue.

(Philippa – audio / video off (Lue – audio video on)

A Midsummer Night’s Dream First Reads DraftUpdated 5/2/20

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Lue may say more here, then will ask the readers to introduce themselves in the following order:

Lue audio video off. Readers will take turns turning on their audio and video and introducing themselves. Once they’re done, they will stay on the screen until ALL introductions are complete.

Amanda Sykes – states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Daniel Molina – states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Elizabeth Swain - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Greg Cuellar - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Jennie Greenberry - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Kelsey Venter - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Kim Wuan - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Mfoniso Udofia - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)


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Patrick Kerr - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Tasso Feldman - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Wayne T. Carr - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. (don’t turn off video)

Andrew Borba - states name, pronouns if desired, location, and roles they are reading. Then she says:

Andrew: As the stringer, I will be jumping in and taking over for folks if they begin having connection issues with zoom, so you may see me pop in as any of the characters today. Everyone ready?

(readers reply and then turn off their video and audio. Caroline begins reading the stage directions on the following page)


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A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM

byWilliam Shakespeare

In a modern verse translation byJeffrey Whitty

Dramaturg:Heidi Schreck

FIRST READS DRAFT

5/8/2020


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ACT I, SCENE 1 - ATHENS. THE PALACE OF THESEUS.

Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, and Philostrate

THESEUSHippolyta, my sweet, our wedding hourDraws near! Four festive days deliver usA newborn moon. Look how the old malingers!Delaying my desires, much like a richOld auntie in a slow decline, her lifeDepriving others their inheritance.

HIPPOLYTAFour days will quickly marinate in night;Four nights will quickly dream away the time;Like an angelic archer’s silvered bowA sliver of the moon shall seat herselfAmidst our congregation.

THESEUSListen, Philostrate,Rile up th’Athenian youth! We’re coming up!They better get the party started! SaveAll melancholy moods for funerals.Despair’s not on the “list.” This party’s closed.

Exit Philostrate

Hippolyta, when flirting with my swordI won your love but gave you injury.So I shall wed you in a different way,With pomp! With circumstance and reveling!

Enter Egeus, Hermia, Lysander, and Demetrius

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EGEUSBless you Theseus, our celebrated duke!

THESEUSI thank you Egeus, do you bring news?

EGEUSMost agitated-ly I’m filing suitAgainst my child, my daughter Hermia.Come here, Demetrius. My noble lord,This man has my permission to propose.Come here, Lysander: and my gracious duke,This man-witch cast a spell upon my child;You, you, Lysander, gave her poetry,And little gifts went to-and-fro as well:By moonlight at her window you would singDeluded love songs in deluded voice,And mesmerized my daughter furthermoreWith bracelets of your hair and trinkets, toysAnd rings and candies, knicks, and flowers, knacks –Engaging gifts if one is gullible! With cunning you purloined my daughter's heart,Made her obedience, my Godly right,Into impertinence! And so my Duke,If she should not right here before your graceAgree to marry with Demetrius,I beg the old Paternal right of Athens,As she is mine, I may dispose of her:Which shall be either to this gentlemanOr to her death. Whichever outcome comesShall be administered immediately.

THESEUSWhat say you, Hermia? My strong adviceIs this: to treat your father like a god;A god who chose your attributes of beauty,


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And in his eyes you’re but a waxen formThat he imprinted – so his right is toDisfigure your figure or figure he’ll not. Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

HERMIASo is Lysander.

THESEUSYes, were he alone;But if another wins your father’s blessing, You must agree he is the favorite.

HERMIAI wish my father looked out through my eyes.

THESEUSThen with your father’s judgment you would see.

HERMIAExcuse me please, your grace; I don’t know what Got into me to make me act so bold,Or how this might affect my reputationTo speak my mind like this before you now; But I must beg of you to tell me please The worst fate that could happen to me byRefusing marriage with Demetrius.

THESEUSYour execution - or surrenderingForever the society of men.Consider, Hermia, your love; and think aboutHow young you are; your family position;If by abandoning your father's choiceYou can endure a nunnish fashion sense,Forever cloistered where the sun don’t shine,To live as a virgin till your life is through


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While chanting to a moon that’s barr’n as you. How blessed are they who live by self-control,Who make an epic trek of self-denial.But happier is the rose plucked for perfumeThan that which withers on the virgin thornAnd grows and lives and dies untouched by men.

HERMIASo will I grow, so live, so die, my lord,Before I give a petal to Demetrius!His ring upon my finger puts a leashAround my neck. To him I shall not heel.

THESEUSIt seems it’s break-time! By the next new moon--The day the vow between my love and meIs sealed in fellowship forevermore –Upon that day either prepare to dieFor disobeying what your father says,Or else to wed Demetrius, as he’d like;Or on Diana’s altar of the MoonYou’ll vow to live a spinster’s life in worship.

DEMETRIUSSurrender, my sweet Hermia: and Lysander, Give up your claim to what belongs to me.

LYSANDERYou have her father's love; if you let meHave Hermia's a double-wedding waits.

EGEUSMost rude Lysander! yes, he has my love,And what is mine I give to him in love.And she is mine, and possession IHand over to Demetrius.


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LYSANDERWe’re equal in society, my lord,I’m just as wealthy; and my love is more;My prospects are equivalent if notEclipsing yon Demetrius;And what means more than all my boasts is this:I am beloved of lovely Hermia.Why should I not pursue this right of mine?Demetrius, I swear on him, was quiteThe flirt with Nedar's daughter, Helena,And she fell hard; so now she worships him Like God; but woe, though she be fair she’s not Aware she’s saying prayers to a player.

THESEUSI must confess that I have heard a lot,And with Demetrius meant to hash it out;Preoccupation with my own affairsMade me forget. Demetrius, come here;You too, Egeus; you’ll come along with me,In private I’ve some schooling for you both.For you, fair Hermia, prepare yourselfTo make your fancy match your father's will;Or else the law of Athens gives you up –Which by no means can we negotiate –To death or to a vow of single life.Come, my Hippolyta: how is my love?Demetrius and Egeus, come along:I’ve errands for you both for matters ofOur wedding day; and I’ll confer with youRegarding topics of concern to you.

EGEUSWe follow from our will and ‘cause you said.

Exeunt all but Lysander and Hermia


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LYSANDERHow now, my love! Why are your cheeks so pale?Why do their roses fade so fast away?

HERMIAThey are in drought, no doubt, lest I unleashA flash-flood from the fountains of my eyes.

LYSANDERAy me! In nothing I could ever read,Could ever learn from history or fiction,The course of true love never did run smooth;But either it came down to social standing –

HERMIAOh dear! To love one lowlier than I!

LYSANDEROr facing thus a difference in age –

HERMIAO spite! Too old to be engaged to youth –

LYSANDEROr else one’s guardian chose one’s paramour –

HERMIAO hell! to choose love by another's eyes.

LYSANDEROr, if the lovers were a perfect matchWar, death, or sickness would demolish itTo leave it momentary as a sound,Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;Brief as the lightning in the darkest nightThat viciously unfolds both heav’n and earth,Before a man has pow’r to say 'Behold!'


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The jaws of darkness swallow it away:And so the brilliant become confused.

HERMIASo if the course of love is always crossedIt stands as law that Fate has then decreed:In practice we shall learn the art of patienceFor all our troubles are to be expectedAs much of Love as thoughts and dreams and sighs,Wishes and tears that poor young dreamers follow.

LYSANDERIndeed! And being so then listen, Hermia:I have a widow aunt who’s well-to-doExcept she lacks a child that she would spoil: Her house is twenty miles from Athens. AndShe treats me as she would her only son.There, gentle Hermia, may I marry you;And to that place the cruel Athenian lawCannot pursue us. If you love me then,Sneak from your father's house tomorrow night;And in that wood a few miles out of town(One May Day there we met with HelenaTo do a Mayday Beltaine ritual)You’ll find me waiting.

HERMIAOh, my good Lysander!I swear to you, by Cupid's strongest bow,By his best arrow with the gold-tipped glow,By the innocence of Venus' doves,By that which tenders souls and fosters loves,And by that fire where royal Dido burned On learning that Aeneas’ love was spurned,By all the vows that ever men have broke


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In number more than ever women spoke,In that same place that you direct me to,To-morrow truly I will meet with you.

LYSANDEROh keep your promise! Here comes Helena.

Enter Helena

HERMIAHello fair Helena!

HELENACall you me fair? Then you can take “fair” back.Demetrius loves your fair: O yippee, fair!Your eyes are stars; your lips, they blow sweet airAs lovely as a lark may be to shepherd's earIn Springtime when the hawthorn buds appear.You catch his eye like a contagion, thoughYour sickness I would catch before I go;My ear should catch your voice, my eye your eye,My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet lullabye.Were the world mine, were my love not frustrated,I’d give it all to be you but rejuvenated.O, teach me how you look on him and with what artYou speed the pounding of Demetrius' heart.

HERMIAI frown upon him, yet he loves me still.

HELENAO that your frowns would teach my smiles such skill!

HERMIAI give him curses, yet he gives me love.

HELENAI give him prayers and he doesn’t move!


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HERMIAThe more I hate, the more he follows me.

HELENAThe more I love, the more he hater be.

HERMIAHis folly certainly’s no fault of mine.

HELENATo him you’re heaven; I’m a porcupine!

HERMIATake comfort: he no more shall see my face;Together he and I will leave this place.Before I saw Lysander then my eyes could see,All Athens was a paradise to me:O, then, what beauty in my love may dwell,That he transformed a heaven to a hell!

LYSANDERWe have a secret, Hermia and I:To-morrow as the Moon sees from the skyHerself reflected in the watery glass,And sprinkled all with pearls the blades of grass,A time that lovers on the run do flee,Through Athens' gates we charge, then we are free.

HERMIAAnd in the wood, where often you and IUpon pale primrose-beds were known to lie,Emptying our hearts of all our secrets sweet,There my Lysander and myself shall meet;And thence from Athens turn away our eyes,With strange new friends we’ll come to socialize.Farewell, sweet playfellow: please pray for us;And good luck grant you your Demetrius!Keep word, Lysander: we must starve our sight


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From lovers' food until tomorrow night.

LYSANDERI will, my Hermia.

Exit Hermia

Helena, adieu:As you love him, Demetrius will love you!

Exit Lysander

HELENAHow happy some unlike this some can be!Through Athens I am found as fair as she.But what of that? Demetrius says “Not”;He will not know a thing but what he ought:And as he flails, loving on Hermia's eyes,So I admire him as one does a prize:What he despises in me, what he’d flee,Love can transform to form and dignity:Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;And there’s the reason Cupid’s painted blind:Love’s mind is starved of a discerning taste;When flying blind then love we find in haste:And therefore is Love said to be a child,Because in choice he’s easily beguiled.As naughty boys when playing games tell lies,What love should bring the Cupid then defies,Before Demetrius found my friend divine,He hailed down oaths that he was only mine;And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,So he dissolved, and all his oaths did melt.I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight:So to the woods he’ll run tomorrow night.And since I’ve given him his love’s locationIf HE thanks ME, it’s worth the informationBut now it’s my intention to enrich my pain,


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To see him go and then come back again.

Exit.

ACT I SCENE 2 - ATHENS. QUINCE'S HOUSE.

Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout, and Starveling

QUINCEIs all our company here?

BOTTOMYou were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the script.

QUINCEHere is the scroll of every man's name, which is thought good enough, through all Athens, to play in our interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his wedding-day at night.

BOTTOMFirst, good Peter Quince, say what the play is on about, declaim the names of the actors, and once that’s done zip it.

QUINCEIndeed. Our play is, The most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby.

BOTTOMA very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the list. Masters, spread yourselves around him.

QUINCEAnswer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.


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BOTTOMReady. Name what part I am for, and proceed.

QUINCEYou, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

BOTTOMWhat is Pyramus? A lover, or a tyrant?

QUINCEA lover, that kills himself most honorably for love.

BOTTOMThat will ask some tears in the true performing ofit: if I do it, let the audience look to theireyes; I will make rainclouds of them, I will get to moaning in some measure. To the rest: my chief talent is for atyrant: I could play Hercules rarely, or a raving, ranting role to every seat make moist.The raging rocksAnd shivering shocksShall break the locksOf prison gates;And Phibbus' carShall shine from farAnd make and marThe foolish Fates.This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players.This is Hercules’ vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover ismore tearful and weepy.

QUINCEFrancis Flute, the bellows-mender.

FLUTEHere, Peter Quince.


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QUINCEFlute, you must take Thisby on you.

FLUTEWhat is Thisby? a wandering knight?

QUINCEIt is the lady that Pyramus must love.

FLUTENay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.

QUINCEThat's all one: you shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will.

BOTTOMAn I may hide my face, let me play Thisby too, I'll speak in a monstrous little voice. 'Thisne, Thisne;' 'Ah, Pyramus, lover dear! your Thisby dear, and lady dear!'

QUINCENo, no; you must play Pyramus: and, Flute, you Thisby.

BOTTOMWell, proceed.

QUINCERobin Starveling, the tailor.

STARVELINGHere, Peter Quince.

QUINCERobin Starveling, you must play Thisby's mother. Tom Snout, the tinker.


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SNOUTHere, Peter Quince.

QUINCEYou, Pyramus' father: myself, Thisby's father: Snug, the joiner; you, the lion's part: and, I hope, here is a play put together.

SNUGHave you the lion's part written? I beg of you, if it is, give it to me now for I am slow of study.

QUINCEYou may do an improvisation, for it is nothing but roaring.

BOTTOMLet me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will make any man's heart swell to hear me; I will roar, that I will make the duke say 'Let him roar again, let him roar again.'

QUINCEAnd you should do it too terribly, you would fright the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek; and that were enough to hang us all.

ALLThat would hang us, every mother's son.

BOTTOMI grant you, friends, if that you should fright the ladies out of their wits to such a degree they would hang us afterwards: but I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove; I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.


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QUINCEYou can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man: therefore you must needs play Pyramus.

BOTTOMWell, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?

QUINCEWhy, what you will.

BOTTOMI will discharge it in either your straw-colour beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-flecked beard, or your beard that’s the color of the French crown, your perfect yellow.

QUINCESome of your French crowns are bald what with the syphilis going round, and then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request you and desire you, to learn them by tomorrow night; and meet me in the palace wood, a mile outside of town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we will be deluged with fans and they will learn all of our tricks. In the meantime I will draw a Playbill, such as our play wants. I beg of you, don’t fail me.

BOTTOMWe will meet; and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect: adieu.

QUINCEAt the duke's oak we meet.


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BOTTOMEnough; be there or elsewhere.

Exeunt

ACT II, SCENE 1 - A WOOD NEAR ATHENS.

Enter, from opposite sides, a Fairy, and Puck

PUCKHow now, spirit! Where are you wandering?

FAIRYOver hill and valley,Through bush, through briar,Over park, over town,Through flood, through fire,I do wander everywhere,Swifter than the lunar sphere;And I serve the fairy queen,I sprinkle dew upon the green.The cowslip flow’rs her guardians be:In their gold coats spots you see;Those be rubies, fairy favours,In those freckles live their savours:I must go seek some dewdrops hereAnd hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.Farewell, you dumb old spirits; I'll be gone:Our queen and elves will all be gathered soon.

PUCKThe king will hold his revels here to-night: Beware the queen come not within his sight; For Oberon is full of mighty rage, On her attends a boy of tender age That he contends is of an Indian king; She never had so sweet a changeling; And jealous Oberon would have the child


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Become his own to stride the forests wild; With force she holds her fond beloved boy, And crowning him in flow’rs makes him all her joy: And now they never meet in grove or green, By fountain clear, or under starlight sheen, But quarrel so that all their elves for fear Creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

FAIRYEither I mistake this shape within my sight Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he Who scares the maidens of the villagery; Steals cream from milk and often grinds the corn, Such fruitlessness makes fruitful wives careworn; You sometime make the beer to bear no foam; Mislead night-wanderers, laughing as they roam? Those that Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck, You do their work, and they shall have good luck: Are not you he?

PUCKAye, what you speak be right; I am that merry wanderer of the night. I jest to Oberon and make him smile I’ll feed a horse some beans, then in awhile They’ll start to neigh like they’re a newborn foal. Or I might linger in a gossip's bowl, And pinch the likeness of a roasted crab, And when she drinks, against her lips I stab And on her wrinkled neck so pours the ale. The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale, From thinking I’m a stool will set her hind on me; Then slip I from her bum, down topples she, Cry’ng ‘tailor!’ falling then into a cough; All in the tavern hold their hips and scoff, Increasing all their mirth, they sneeze and swear


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A merrier hour was never wasted there. But scoot, fairy! here comes Oberon.

FAIRYAnd here my mistress. Would that he were gone!

Enter, from one side, Oberon, with his train; from the other, Titania, with hers.

OBERON With dread I greet you, proud Titania.

TITANIA What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip away: I have denied his bed and company.

OBERON You rash wanton: am I not your lord?

TITANIA If so I’d be your lady: but I know When you have sneaked away from fairy land, And in a shepherd’s shape then sat all day, Playing on pipes of corn and writing verse For a lovestruck shepherdess. Why are you here, Come from the farthest mounts of India? But that perhaps the bouncing Amazon, Your leath’ry mistress and your warrior love, To Theseus must be wedded, and you come To give their bed joy and prosperity.

OBERON How can you say this? Oh for shame, Titania, You make your cracks about Hippolyta, Knowing I know your love to Theseus? Did you not lead him through the glimmering night From Perigenia, who he ravished?


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And make him break his oath to fair Aegle With Ariadne and Antiopa?

TITANIA These are all deceptions made of jealousy: And never, since the middle summer's spring,Met we on hill, in dale, forest or field, By man-paved fountain or by nature’s brook, Or in the beaches ringed about the sea, To dance our ringlets to the whistling wind, But with your sneers you have disturbed our sport. And so the winds, blowing to us as though They seek revenge, have suck'd up from the sea Contagious fogs; which falling in the land Have every swelling river made so full That they have overborne the lands around: The ox has therefore stretched his yoke in vain, The plower lost his soil and all his corn Has rotted well before it grew its beard; The sheeps pens stand now empty in the field, And crows are fattened by the rotting flock; The fields for sporting are fill'd up with mud, The tidy mazes in the garden now For lack of feet are indistinguishable: The human mortals want their winter here; By nights no hymns or carols fill the air: Therefore the moon, the governess of floods, Pale in her anger, washes all the air, That rheumatic diseases now abound: And we through this disease and sickness see The seasons alter: frightful freezing frosts Make cold intrusion on the crimson rose, And on the chin and crown of Harm’nys God A fragrant circle of sweet summer buds Is, as in mockery, set: the spring, the summer, The pregnant autumn, angry winter, now Exchange their qualities; the world,


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Amazed and frightened, now knows not who’s who: And this same family of evils comes From our debate, borne of our disputation; We are their parents and gave birth to it.

OBERON Do you propose a fix? It lies in you. Why should Titania cross her Oberon? I do but beg a little Fairy boy To be my henchman.

TITANIA Set your heart at rest: The fairy land took not the child for me. His mother was a worshipper of mine: And, in the spiced Indian air, by night, Quite often did she gossip by my side, And beach beside me on the yellow sands, We’d comment as the trading ships set sail, When we had laugh'd to see the sails op’n up, Becoming billowed by the wanton wind; Which she would imitate with pretty steps Her belly thus ballooning with my squire,-- She then would travel all about the land, To fetch me presents, and return again, As from a voyage, rich with merchandise. But she, being mortal, of that boy did die; And for her sake do I rear up her boy, And for her sake I will not part with him.

OBERON How long’s your plan to stay within this wood?

TITANIA Perhaps till after Theseus' wedding-day. If you will patiently join in our dance And see our moonlight revels, go with us; If not, avoid me and I’ll do the same.


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OBERON Give me that boy, and I will go with you.

TITANIA Not for your fairy kingdom. Fairies, away! We’ll only bicker if I longer stay.

Exit Titania with her train

OBERON Well, go your way: you shall not leave this grove Till I torment you for insulting me. My gentle Puck, come over here. Remember Since once I sat upon an ocean’s rock, And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back Performing such a sweet, harmonious tune The stormy sea grew civil at her song And certain stars shot madly from their orbits, To hear the sea-maid's music.

PUCK I remember.

OBERON That very time I saw, but you could not, Flying between the cold moon and the earth, With all his arrows: Cupid taking aim At a fair virgin looking to the sunset. He shot his love-shaft deftly from his bow, Like it would pierce a hundred thousand hearts; But I then saw young Cupid's fiery shaft Grow inundated by the wat’ry moon, The queenly virgin safe and on her way, In maiden meditation, fancy-free. So I took note where Cupid’s arrow fell: It fell upon a little western flower, At first milk-white, now purple with love's wound, And maidens call it “love-in-idleness.”


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Fetch me that flower; the herb I showed you once: The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid Will make the sleeper madly fall in love Upon the next live creature that she sees. Fetch me this herb; and hurry back again Before a giant fish can swim a league.

PUCK I'll make a journey round about the earth In forty minutes.

Exit.

OBERON When I have this juice, I'll watch Titania when she is asleep, And drop the liquor of it in her eyes. The next thing she then waking looks upon, Be it a lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, On meddling monkey, or on busy ape, She shall pursue it with the soul of love: Before I take this charm from off her sight, As I can take it with another herb, She’ll then surrender up her page to me. But who comes here? I am invisible; And I will overhear their conference.

Enter Demetrius, Helena, following him

DEMETRIUS I love you not, therefore pursue me not. Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? I’ll murder one, the other murders me. You told me they both sneaked into this wood; And I’m here wandering about this wood, Because I cannot meet my Hermia. So go, get you away, and follow me no more.


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HELENA You draw me to you like you’re made of metal; But yet you draw not iron, for my heart Is true as steel: leave you your power to draw, And I shall have no power to follow you.

DEMETRIUS Do I entice you? Do I speak of love? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth Tell you, I do not, nor I cannot love you?

HELENA And even for that do I love you the more. I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius, The more you beat me, I will fawn on you: Like I’m your spaniel, use me, spurn and strike, Neglect me, lose me; only leave me free, Unworthy as I am, to follow you. What worse place could I of your love request,-- And yet a place of high respect with me,-- Than to be used as you would use your dog?

DEMETRIUS Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit; For I am sick when I do look on you.

HELENA And I am sick when I look not on you.

DEMETRIUS You put at risk your virgin reputation, To leave the city and commit yourself Into the hands of one that loves you not; To trust the dangers hid within the night, So vulnerable in this deserted place, To risk the worth of your virginity.


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HELENA Your valor will protect me: I feel there Can be no night when I do see your face, And so I think I am not in the night; Nor does this wood lack worlds of company, For you from my perspective are the world: Then how can it be said I am alone, When all the world is here to look on me?

DEMETRIUS I'll run from you and hide me in the bushes, And leave you to the mercy of wild beasts.

HELENA The wildest animals don’t have your heart. Run when you will, the story shall be changed: Apollo flies and Daphne keeps the chase; The dove pursues the vulture; and the deer Makes speed to catch the tiger; helpless speed, When cowardice pursues and courage flies.

DEMETRIUS I will not stand your questions; let me go: Or, if you follow me, do not believe But I shall do you mischief in the wood.

HELENA You, in the temple, in the town, the field, Make mischief. Oh for shame, Demetrius! Your flaws reveal the weakness of my sex: We cannot fight for love, as men may do; It’s best we be pursued than we pursue.

Exit Demetrius

I'll follow you and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well.


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Exit.

OBERON Farewell, my nymph: before he leaves this grove, You shall leave him, and he shall seek your love.

Re-enter Puck.

Have you the flower? Welcome, wanderer.

PUCK Ay, there it is.

OBERON I pray you, give it me. I know a riverbank where wild thyme blows, Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine, With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine: Titania sometimes sleeps there through the night, Lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight; And there the snake sheds her rejected skin, A bed so wide to wrap a fairy in: And with the juice of this I'll daub her eyes, Where once she hated she shall fantasize. You, to the grove let your attentions turn, For there I saw a boy most cruelly spurn A girl from Athens: there anoint his eyes; But do it when the next thing that he spies May be the girl: to find him I attest That in Athenian garments is he dressed; Apply the juice with care, that he may prove So loving on her, SHE’d such love remove! Let’s meet before we hear the first cock crow.

PUCK Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.


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Exeunt.

ACT II, SCENE 2 - ANOTHER PART OF THE WOOD

Enter Titania, with her train

TITANIA Come, now with dances and a fairy song; Then, for the third part of a minute, leave; Some to kill insects in the musk-rose buds, Some war with red-mice for their leathern wings, To make my small elves coats, and some to hush The noisy owl that nightly hoots and wonders At our quaint doings. Sing me now asleep; Then to your duties, aye, and let me rest. The Fairies sing.

You spotted snakes with double tongue, Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen; Newts and blind-worms, do no wrong, Come not near our fairy queen. Philomel, with melody Sing in our sweet lullaby; Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby: Never harm, Nor spell nor charm, Come our lovely lady nigh; So, good night, with lullaby. Weaving spiders, come not here; Hence, you long-legg'd spinners, hence! Beetles black, approach not near; Worm nor snail, do no offence.


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FAIRYHence, away! now all is well: One of you stand sentinel. Exeunt Fairies. Titania sleeps.

Enter Oberon and squeezes the flower on Titania's eyelids.

OBERON What you see when you awake, Do it for your true-love take, Love and languish for his sake: Be it cheetah, cat, or bear, Panther, boar with bristled hair, In your eye that shall appear When you wake, it is your dear: Wake when some vile thing is near.

Exit. Enter Lysander and Hermia.

LYSANDER Fair love, you’re faint with wandering in the wood; To tell the truth I have forgot our way: We'll rest now, Hermia, if you think it good, And rest together till the break of day.

HERMIA So be it then, Lysander: find a bed; While I upon this bank will rest my head.

LYSANDER One piece of earth can hold the heads of two; One heart, one bed, two bosoms, me and you.


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HERMIA Nay, good Lysander; for my sake, my dear, Lie further off yet, do not lie so near.

LYSANDER Embrace the sense, sweet, of my innocence! My love is speaking meaning no offense. I mean, that my heart into yours is knit So but one heart then we can make of it; Two bosoms chained together with an oath; United by one heart between us both. Then at your side no bedroom I’ll deny; For lying so, Hermia, I do not lie.

HERMIA Lysander riddles very prettily: Oh, curses on my manners and my pride, If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied. But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy Lie further off; in human modesty, Such separation as may well be said Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid, So far be distant; and, good night, sweet friend: May love remain until your sweet life end!

LYSANDER Amen, amen, to that fair prayer, say I; And then end life when I end loyalty! Here is my bed: soon let us both be dozed!

HERMIA With half that wish the wisher's eyes be closed!

They sleep.

Enter Puck.


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PUCK Through the forest have I gone. Athenians, I found me none, On whose eyes I might then prove This flower's force in stirring love. Night and silence.--Who is here? Clothes of Athens does he wear: This is he, my master said,

Despised the Athenian maid; And here the maiden, sleeping sound, On the dank and dirty ground. Pretty soul! she does not lie Near this foul fool deprived of courtesy. Ass, upon your eyes I throw All the power this charm doth owe. When you wake, let love forbid The pow’r of sleep of your eyelid: So awake when I am gone; For I must now to Oberon.

Exit. Enter Demetrius and Helena, running.

HELENA Stay, though you kill me, sweet Demetrius.

DEMETRIUS I order you to stop pursuing me.

HELENA O, will you leave me angered? Say not so.

DEMETRIUS Stay at your peril: I alone will go.

Exit.


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HELENA O, I am breathless from this lover’s chase! The more I pray the lesser is my grace. For Hermia is happy anywhere she lies; As she has spark-l-ing attractive eyes. How came her eyes so bright? With salty tears? My eyes then get a washing more than hers. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; For beasts that meet me run away in fear: And so it is no marvel that Demetrius Does like a monster flee my presence thus. What would my lying looking-glass surmise To make compare with Hermia’s gorgeous eyes? But who is here? Lysander! on the ground! Dead? or asleep? No wound or blood is found –. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake.

LYSANDER (Awaking)And run through fire I will for your sweet sake. Transparent Helena! It’s here I start To see unimpededly into your heart. Where is Demetrius? O, how fit a word Is that vile name to perish on my sword!

HELENA Do not say so, Lysander; say not so What though he loves your Hermia? Lord, what though? Yet Hermia still loves you: be content.

LYSANDER Content with Hermia! No; I do resent The tedious time that she and I have spent. Not Hermia but Helena I love: Who will not change a raven for a dove? The will of man is by his reason swayed;


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And reason says you are the finer maid. Things growing ripen not until their season So I, being young, just ripened now - to reason! And touching now the point of human skill, For Reason’s now commander of my will And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook Love's stories written in love's richest book.

HELENA Oh, why was I to this cruel mockery born? When at your hands did I deserve this scorn? Is it enough, or not enough, young man, That I did never, no, nor never can, Deserve flirtation from Demetrius' eye, But you must mock me with a blatant lie?Good lord, you do me wrong, good lord, you do, In such a crushing manner as you do. But farewell then: I must by chance confess I thought you ruled from greater gentleness. Oh that a lady, who one man refused Should of another come to be abused!

Exit.

LYSANDER She sees not Hermia. Hermia, sleep right here: And near Lysander dare you not appear! For as a surplus of the sweetest things The deepest loathing to the stomach brings, Or as the falsities that men do leave Are hated most by those that they deceive, So you, my surplus and my falsity, Of all be hated, but the most of me! And, all my powers, use your love and might To honour Helen and to be her knight!

Exit.


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HERMIA (Awaking)Help me, Lysander, help me! do your best To pluck this crawling serpent from my breast! Ay me, for pity! What a dream was here! Lysander, look at me! I quake with fear: I dreamed a serpent ate my heart away, And you sat smiling at his cruel prey. Lysander! You ignore me? Lord! Lysander! What, out of hearing? Gone? No sound, no word? Where are you? Speak to me and if you hear; Speak, of all loves! I’m fainting now with fear. No? Then you’re not near me, that I see – Either death or you I'll find immediately.

Exit.

We will pause now for a discussion followed by a ten-minute break


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ACT III, SCENE 1 - THE WOOD. TITANIA LYING ASLEEP.

Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snout, and Starveling.

BOTTOM Are we all here?

QUINCE Ready, yes; and here's a marvellous convenient place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn-bush our dressing room; and we will perform it now as we will perform it before the duke.

BOTTOM Peter Quince,--

QUINCE What do you have to say, O bossy Bottom?

BOTTOM There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies cannot abide. How answer you that?

SNOUTOh snap, it is a dangerous move.

STARVELING I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.

BOTTOM Not a whit: I have a device to make all well. Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, to make the audience feel even better, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear.


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QUINCE Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be written in eight lines and six lines.

BOTTOM No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and eight.

SNOUT Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?

STARVELING I fear it, I promise you.

BOTTOM Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves: to bring in – God protect us! – a lion among ladies, is a most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living; and we ought to look to it.

SNOUT Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion.

BOTTOM Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen through the lion's neck: and he himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect,--‘Ladies,’ – or ‘Fair-ladies – I would wish You,’ – or ‘I would request you,’ – or ‘I would beg you, not to fear, not to tremble: my life for yours. If you think I come out here as a lion, it would be the saddest thing in my life: no I am no such thing; I am a man as other men are;' and there indeed let him name his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.

QUINCE Well it shall be so. But there is two hard things; that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber; for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.


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SNOUT Shall the moon shine that night we play our play?

BOTTOM A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find out moonshine, find out moonshine.

QUINCE Yes, it shines that night.

BOTTOM Why, then may you leave a panel of the great chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon may shine through the window.

QUINCE Sure; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby says the story, contains talking through the chink of a wall.

SNOUT You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?

BOTTOM Some man or other must present Wall: and let him have some plaster, or some brick, or some cement about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.

QUINCE If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down, every mother's son, and rehearse your parts. Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your speech, enter into that bush: and so every one according to his cue.


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Enter Puck behind

PUCK What hillbillies here do flounce about So near the cradle of the fairy queen? A play! If so I'll play the part of critic; An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause.

QUINCE Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.

BOTTOM Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet,--

QUINCE Odourous, odourous.

BOTTOM --odourous savours sweet: So has your breath, my dearest Thisby dear. But listen up, a voice! stay here awhile, And soon enough I will to you appear.

Exit Bottom.

PUCK A stranger “Pyramus” has never played here.

Exit Puck.

FLUTE Must I speak now?

QUINCE Ay, indeed, must you; for you must understand he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and will come back again.


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FLUTE Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue, Of colour like the red rose in a patch, Most rapid juvenile and darn near lovely Jew, As true as truest horse that yet would never tire, I'll meet you, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.

QUINCE 'Ninus' tomb,' man: why, you must not speak that yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your part at once, cues and all! Pyramus enter: your cue is past; it is, 'never tire.'

FLUTE O,--As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire.

Re-enter Puck, and Bottom with an ass's head

BOTTOM If I were fair, Thisby, I were only yours.

QUINCE O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray, masters! Flee, masters! Help!

Exeunt Quince, Snug, Flute, Snout, and Starveling.

PUCK I'll lead or follow on a path around, Through bog, through bush, through hedge, through brier: Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound, A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire; And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn, Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

Exit.


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BOTTOM Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them to make me afeard.

Re-enter Snout.

SNOUT O Bottom, you art changed! what do I see on you?

BOTTOM What do you see? You see an asshead of your own, do you?

Exit Snout. Re-enter Quince

QUINCE Bless you, Bottom! Bless you! You got a makeover!

Exit.

BOTTOM I see their fooling: this is to make an ass of me; to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can: I will walk up and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid. Sings. The ousel cock so black of hue, With orange-tawny bill, The throstle with his note so true, The wren with little quill,--

TITANIA (Awaking)What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?


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BOTTOM (Sings)The finch, the sparrow and the lark, The plain-song cuckoo gray, Whose notes then many a man doth mark, And dares not answer nay;-- For, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a bird? Who would give a bird the lie, though he cry 'cuckoo' never so?

TITANIA I pray you, gentle mortal, sing again: My ear is much enamoured of your sound; So is my eye enthralled by your shape; And your fair virtue makes me helpless; onRegarding you I say, I swear, I love you.

BOTTOM I think, mistress, you should have little reason for that: and yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days; the more the pity that some honest neighbours will not make them friends. Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.

TITANIA You are as wise as you are beautiful.

BOTTOM Not so, neither: but if I had wit enough to get out of this wood, I have enough to serve my own purpose.

TITANIA Out of this wood do not desire to go: You shall remain here, whether thou would or no. I am a spirit of no common rate; The summer still doth tend upon my state; And I do love you: therefore, go with me; I'll give you fairies to attend on you, And they shall fetch you jewels from the deep,


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And sing while you on pressed flowers do sleep; And I will purge your mortal grossness so That you shalt like an airy spirit go. Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!

Enter Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed.

PEASEBLOSSOM Ready.

COBWEB And I.

MOTH And I.

MUSTARDSEED And I.

ALL Where shall we go?

TITANIABe kind and courteous to this gentleman; Hop in his walks and frolic in his eyes; Feed him with apricots and dewberries, With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries; The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees, And for night-candles crop their waxen thighs And light them at the fiery glow-worm's eyes, To have my love to bed and to arise; And pluck the wings from Painted butterflies To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes: Nod to him, elves, and do him courte … siez.

PEASEBLOSSOM Hail, mortal!


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COBWEB Hail!

MOTH Hail!

MUSTARDSEED Hail!

BOTTOM I plead for your honor’s mercy, heartily: I beg to know your worship's name.

COBWEB Cobweb.

BOTTOM I would like to know you better, good Master Cobweb: if I cut my finger, I shall approach you. Your name, honest gentleman?

PEASEBLOSSOM Peaseblossom.

BOTTOM I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good Master Peaseblossom, I shall wish to know you better, too. Your name, I beseech you, sir?

MUSTARDSEED Mustardseed.


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BOTTOM Good Master Mustardseed, I know your suffering well: that bloated sides of beef have devoured many a gentleman of your house: I promise you your condiment relations have made my eyes water before now. I desire your more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.

TITANIA Come, wait upon him; lead him to my bower. The moons regards us with a watery eye; And when she weeps, weeps every little flower, She mourns for some enforced chastity. Tie up my love's tongue, bring him silently.

Exeunt.

ACT III SCENE 2 - ANOTHER PART OF THE WOOD

Enter Oberon.

OBERON I wonder if Titania is awake? Then, what it was that next came in her sight, Which she must love on in extremity?

Enter Puck.

Here comes my messenger. How now, mad spirit! What’s the commotion round this haunted grove?

PUCK My mistress with a monster is in love. Beside her private and most cozy bower, While she was in her dull and sleeping hour, A crew of actors, rude mechanicals, That work for bread upon Athenian stalls, Were met together to rehearse a play Intended for great Theseus' wedding-day.


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The stupidest mongrel of that barren sort, Who Pyramus presented in their sport Forsook his scene and entered in a hedge I took advantage as I had the edge, An ass's mask I fixed on his head: As such his Thisbe must be answered, And forth my mimic comes. When he they spy, As geese that see the creeping hunter’s eye, Or reddish-headed clowns, many in sort, Rising and shouting at the gun's report, Remove themselves and so take to the sky, So, at his sight, away his fellows fly; And, at our music over then one falls; He cries, “Help! Murder!” and so Athens calls. Their senses weakened so their fears are strong, Made senseless things begin to do them wrong; For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch; Some sleeves, some hats, on bush-thorns all things catch. I led them on in this distracted fear, And left sweet Pyramus transformed here: When in that moment, so it came to pass, Titania waked and straightway loved an ass.

OBERON This outcome’s more than I would dare devise. But have you yet wet the Athenian's eyes With love-juice, as I asked you to do?

PUCK I took him sleeping,-- that is finish'd too,-- And the Athenian woman by his side: That, when he waked, she was the first he spied.

Enter Hermia And Demetrius.

OBERON Stand close: this is the same Athenian.


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PUCK This is the woman, but it’s not the man.

DEMETRIUS O, why reject the man that loves you so? Say words so bitter to your bitter foe.

HERMIA Now I but nag; but I should use you worse, For you, I fear, gave me a cause to curse, If you have slain Lysander in his sleep, Continue plunging, then, and knife me deep. The sun was not as faithful on that day As he to me: would he have sneaked away From sleeping Hermia? I'll believe as soon This solid earth is hollowed, and the moon May to its centre creep and so displease To drown the noontide with Earth’s other seas. It cannot be but you have murdered him; So murderers should look, so dead, so grim.

DEMETRIUS So should the murdered look, and so should I, Pierced through the heart that you might say goodbye: Yet you, the murd’rer, look as bright, as clear, As yonder Venus in her glimm’ring sphere.

HERMIA What's this to my Lysander? Where is he? Ah, good Demetrius, give him up to me!

DEMETRIUS I had rather give his carcass to my hounds.


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HERMIA Out, dog! Out, mongrel! You’ve passed the bounds Of maiden's patience. Have you slain him, then? If so you’ll not be counted among men! For once be real, be truthful for my sake! Dare you have looked upon him being awake, And have you killed him sleeping? Hey, nice touch! Could not a worm or serpent do so much? A serpent did it; with divided tongue That you, you snake, you never serpent stung.

DEMETRIUS You waste your rage on a mistaken mood: I am not guilty of Lysander's blood; Nor is he dead, for aught that I can tell.

HERMIA I pray you, promise me that he is well.

DEMETRIUS And if I could, what would I do it for?

HERMIA A privilege never to see me more. And from your hated presence off I go: No further see me, whether dead or no.

Exit Hermia.

DEMETRIUS I’d best not follow her explosive pain. Here then a moment still I will remain. So sorrow's heaviness grows heavier yet;She bankrupted the sleep where I’m in debt; Which now in small amounts I’ll gladly pay, In tenderness to tender rest today.

Lies down and sleeps.


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OBERON What have you done? You are mistaken quite; And placed my magic on a true-love's sight: You failed me to degrees you can’t undo: It’s true love falsified, not false turned true.

PUCK Then fate’s to blame: when one man keeps his vow, A million others break theirs anyhow.

OBERON About the wood go swifter than the wind, And Helena of Athens you must find: All lovesick now in deficit of cheer, With sighs of love to make a lion fear: By some illusion then you bring her here: I'll charm his eyes to love what shall appear.

PUCK I go, I go; look how I go, Swifter than arrow from barbarian’s bow.

Exit.

OBERON Flower of this purple dye, Hit with Cupid on the sly, Sink in apple of his eye. When his love he soon shall spy, Let her beauty amplify Like a Venus of the sky. When you wake, if she be by, Beg her for an alibi.

Re-enter Puck


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PUCK Captain of our fairy band, Helena is here at hand; And the youth, mistook by me, Pleading love from saddened she. Shall we their fine pageant see? Lord, what fools these mortals be!

OBERON Stand aside: the noise they make Will cause Demetrius to awake.

PUCK Then will two at once woo one; She should get just one alone; And those things do best please me That unfold preposterously.

Enter Lysander and Helena

LYSANDER Why should you think that I’d seduce in scorn? You’ll never find derision in my tears: Look, when I vow, I weep; and vows , In their unfolding then all truth appears. How can my feelings all seem scorn to you, When they bear marks of faith to prove them true?

HELENA You do perfect your cunning more and more. When truth kills truth, O what a mighty fray! These vows are Hermia's whom you adore!Weigh oath with oath, and you will nothing weigh: To balance both our vows upon two scales, They’d weigh the same, as light as fairy tales.

LYSANDER I had no judgment when to her I swore.


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HELENA Not when it’s Hermia you would deplore.

LYSANDER Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.

DEMETRIUS (Awaking)O Helena, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine! To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne? Crystal is muddy. O, how ripe in show Your lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow! That iridescent white of highest mountains’ snow, Blown with the Eastern wind becomes a crow When you hold up your hand: O, let me kiss This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss!

HELENA O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent To set against me for your merriment: If you were civil and knew courtesy, You would not do me this much injury. Can you not hate me, as I know you do, But you must join in souls to mock me too? If you were men, as men you are in show, You would not use a gentle lady so; To vow, and swear, and overpraise my parts, When I am sure you hate me with your hearts. You both are rivals, and love Hermia; And now both rivals, mocking Helena: A nice maneuver, men! What enterprise, To conjure tears up in a poor girl’s eyes With your derision! None of noble sort Would so offend a virgin, and extort A gentle soul that you exploit for sport.


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LYSANDER You are unkind, Demetrius; be not so; For you love Hermia; this you know I know: And here, with all good will, with all my heart, In Hermia's love then you can take my part; If yours of Helena to me you gave, Then I would love her now until the grave.

HELENA Never did mockers waste more idle breath.

DEMETRIUS Lysander, keep your Hermia; I am done: If once I loved her, all that love is gone. My heart now from its early path is spurned, And now to Helen is it home return'd, There to remain.

LYSANDER Helen, it is not so.

DEMETRIUS Don’t criticize the faith you do not know, Lest, to your peril, you would pay it dear. Look, where your love comes; now she does appear.

Re-enter Hermia

HERMIA Dark night deprives the purpose of the eye, While sightless ears to hear are standing by; In darkness, vision may not be precise, But sound is doubled for sight’s sacrifice. You’re not by my eye then, Lysander, found; My ear, I thank it, brought me to your sound. But why unkindly did you leave me so?


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LYSANDER Why should he stay, whom love compels to go?

HERMIA What love compels Lysander from my side?

LYSANDER Lysander's love, that would not let him hide, Fair Helena, who brightens up the night More than your fiery rays and eyes of light. Why look for me? Could not this make you know, The hate I bear you made me leave you so?

HERMIA You speak not as you think: it cannot be.

HELENA Lo, she is one of this confederacy! Now I perceive they have conferred, all three To fashion up a joke, in spite of me. Insulting Hermia! Most ungrateful maid! Have you conspired, have you with them contrived To mock me with your sneering attitude? And all the conversation that we shared, The sisters' vows, the hours that we have spent, We cursed the rudeness of the ticking clock For parting us – O, is it all forgot? All school-days' friendship, childhood innocence? We, Hermia, like two artificial gods, Have with our needles created both one flower, Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion, Both warbling of one song, both in one key, As if our hands, our sides, voices and minds, Had been incorporated into one. So like two cherries we seem separate But yet joined in separation; Two lovely berries moulded on one stem; So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart;


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Two of the first, like we’re the heralds of One family united ‘neath one crest. And will you tear our ancient love apart To join with men in scorning your poor friend? It is not friendly, it’s not maidenly: Our sex, as well as I, may scold you then, Though I alone do feel the injury.

HERMIA I am amazed at your impassioned words. I scorn you not: it seems that you scorn me.

HELENA Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn, To follow me and praise my eyes and face? And made your other love, Demetrius, Who even now just spurned me with his foot, To call me goddess, nymph, divine and rare, Celestial, precious? Why does he say this To her he hates? And why then does Lysander Deny your love, the fiber of his soul, And tender me, instead, affection, But you put them both to it, by your will? Although I’m not as graceful as yourself, Surrounded so with love, so fortunate – Most miserable am I to love unloved! This you should pity rather than despise.

HERMIA I understand not what you mean by this.

HELENA The fake sad looks – continue please! Make funny faces when I turn my back; Wink each at other; hold the sweet jest up: This joke shall become legendary. If you have any pity, grace, or manners, You would not make me such an argument.


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But fare you well: 'tis partly my own fault; Which death or absence soon shall remedy.

LYSANDER Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse: My love, my life my soul, fair Helena!

HELENA O excellent!

HERMIA Sweet, do not scorn her so.

DEMETRIUS If she cannot beg I can compel.

LYSANDER You can convince no more than she can beg; Your threats aren’t any stronger than her prayers. Helen, I love you; by my life, I do: I swear by that which I will lose for you, To prove him false that says I love you not.

DEMETRIUS I say I love you more than he can do.

LYSANDER If you say so, begone, and prove it too.

DEMETRIUS Quick, come!

HERMIA Lysander, whereto tends all this?

LYSANDER Away, you dreadful hag!


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DEMETRIUS No, no, he will Play at escaping; feigning how you’d follow; But don’t come yet; you are a tame man, go!

LYSANDER Get off, you cat, you burr! vile thing, let loose, Or I will shake you from me like a serpent!

HERMIA Why are you grown so rude? what change is this? Sweet love,--

LYSANDER Your love! Out, you barbarian, out! Out, loathed medicine! Hated potion, go!

HERMIA Do you not jest?

HELENA Indeed; and so do you.

LYSANDER Demetrius, I will keep my word with you.

DEMETRIUS I would I had your guarantee. I see A weak bond keeps you: I'll not trust your word.

LYSANDER What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead? Although I hate her, I'll not harm her so.

HERMIA What, can you do me greater harm than hate? Hate me! Wherefore? O me! What news, my love! Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander?


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I am as fair now as I was before this. Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me: Why, then you left me – O, the gods forbid! – Sincerely, shall I say?

LYSANDER Yes, by my life; And never did desire to see you more. Therefore be out of hope, of question, of doubt; Be certain, nothing truer; 'tis no joke That I do hate you and love Helena.

HERMIA O me! You juggler! Oh you fest’ring blister! You thief of love! What, have you come by night And stolen my love's heart from him?

HELENA Fine, indeed! Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear Impatient answers from my gentle tongue? Shame, shame! You counterfeit, you puppet, you!

HERMIA Puppet? Why so? Ay, that way goes the game. Ay, I perceive that she now makes compare Between our statures; she has played her height; And with her personage, her tall personage, Her height, indeed, she has defeated me. And are you grown so high in his esteem; Because I am so dwarfish and so low? How low am I, you painted maypole? Speak; How low am I? I am not yet so low But that my nails can reach unto your eyes.


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HELENA I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen, Let her not hurt me: I was never cross; I have no gifts at all in bitchiness; I’m dainty, fainting in my cowardice: Let her not strike me. You perhaps may think, Because she is something lower than myself, That I can match her.

HERMIA Lower! Listen, more.

HELENA Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me. Forever did I love you, Hermia, Did always listen, never did you wrong; Except, in love unto Demetrius, I told him that you’d sneak into this wood. He follow'd you; for love I follow'd him; But he has mocked me since and threatened me To strike me, spurn me, no, to kill me too: And now, so you’ll let me go quietly, To Athens will I bear my errors back And follow you no further: let me go: You see how simple and in love I am.

HERMIA Why, get you gone: who is it stopping you?

HELENA A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.

HERMIA What, with Lysander?

HELENA With Demetrius.


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LYSANDER Be not afraid; she shall not harm you, Helena.

DEMETRIUS No, sir, she shall not, though you take her part.

HELENA O, when she's angry, she is keen and shrewd! She was a vixen when she went to school; And though she be but little, she is fierce.

HERMIA 'Little' again! nothing but 'low' and 'little'! Why will you suffer her to mock me thus? Let me come to her.

LYSANDER Get you gone, you dwarf; You less than nothing, made of bits of grass; You bead, you acorn.

DEMETRIUS You’re overzealous On her behalf who scorns your offerings. Let her alone: don’t speak of Helena; Don’t take her part; for truly if you mean To show her such a small affection, you Shall suffer for it.

LYSANDER Now she releases me; Now follow, if you dare, to try whose love Of yours or mine, lives most in Helena.

DEMETRIUS Follow! Nay, I’m beside you, cheek by jowl.

Exeunt Lysander and Demetrius


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HERMIA You, mistress, all this trouble is for you: No, don’t go back.

HELENA I’ll never trust you, I, Nor linger in your cursed company. Your hands are quicker for a fight than mine - My legs are longer though, to run away.

Exit.

HERMIA I am amazed. I know not what to say.

Exit.

OBERON (To Puck.)Your negligence could be an accident Or a deliberate fiasco. Which?

PUCK O king of shadows, all an accident. Did you not say I’d recognize the man By the Athenian garment he had on?I followed orders in this enterprise Whem I anointed an Athenian's eyes; Since then this fracas has my full supportI cheer each bicker as a crowd does sport.

OBERON You see? These lovers seek a place to fight! Proceed now, Robin, overcast the night; In fields of stars hide in a constellation,In fog to shield the eye from penetration.Each rivals’ destinations deviateFrom confrontation with the ones they hate;


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Put on Lysander; imitate his speech;Enrage Demetrius beyond his reach.And sometimes argue like Demetrius So from each other you will lead them thus; Tll over them a deathly seeming sleep With heavy legs and bat-blind wings may creep: Then crush this herb into Lysander's eye; Whose liquor has a virtuous property, Where once delusion rendered him uncouth, His eyes know no illusion but the truth. From night, awakening, his scorn and hate The light of morning shall evaporate.And then to Athens send the lovers hence, With love abiding ‘till their deaths commence. While my instructions keep you in employ, I'll beg my queen to win her Indian boy; And then her eyes I’ll from my charm release From love of monsters, leaving all in peace.

PUCK My fairy lord, I’ll get to work and quick,Dawn’s dragon’s fires cut through the clouds so thick, Beyond, approaching shines the promised Sun; The ghosts that wander, knowing night is done,Troop home to churchyards, cursed spirits all. Between two worlds to turn to burial, Already to their wormy beds make haste; For fear that day may see them with distaste;In shame they hide their sorry truth from light, Forever consorting with black-eyed night.

OBERON But we are spirits of another sort: With morning’s love in sporting I cavort;And, like a forester, the path I tread,Approaches Dawn’s horizon in her fiery-red, And in this threshold, brightened by his beams, There Neptune fashions gold from salty streams.


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But, anyway, the Dawn’s a-wasting! No delayInfringes on our haste ‘till Dawn embrace the day.

Exit.

PUCK Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down: I am fear'd in field and town: Goblin, lead them up and down. Here comes one.

Re-enter Lysander.

LYSANDER Demetrius, where are you? Speak up now.

PUCK Here, villain; drawn and ready. Where are you?

LYSANDER I come now straight to you.

PUCK Follow me, then, To plainer ground.

Exit Lysander, as following the voice. Re-enter Demetrius.

DEMETRIUS Lysander! speak again: You runaway, you coward, have you fled? Or did you hide inside a bush instead?

PUCK You coward, are you bragging to the stars, Berating bushes as you look for wars?Will you not come? Come, coward; come, you child;


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I’ll whip you with a rod; the man’s defiled Who draws a sword on you.

DEMETRIUS Hey, are you there?

PUCK Come to my voice: we'll try no manhood here.

Exeunt. Re-enter Lysander.

LYSANDER He goes before me and still dares me on: When I follow his chiding, he is gone. The villain has a swifter stride than I: When fast I follow faster he will fly; The way’s uneven, I have gone astray,So here I’ll rest. Lies down.Now come, soft break of day! For if but once you show me your grey light, I'll see Demetrius and revenge this spite.

Sleeps. Re-enter Puck and Demetrius.

PUCK Ho, ho, ho! Coward, you’re not coming then?

DEMETRIUS Just wait! Wait if you dare! You’re gone again.You run before me, moving every place,But dare not stand to look me in the face.Where did you go?

PUCK I am not far away.


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DEMETRIUS No, then, you mock me. I will make you pay, If ever I should see you in the light --No, go your way. A faintness holds me tightTo measure out my height on this cold bed. When night has faded you’ll be visited.


Re-enter Helena.

HELENA O weary night, O long and tiresome night, Just call it quits! Bring comfort from the East, To guide me back to Athens in the light, That from the haters I may be released,And sleep, who blinds us to what sorrows see, Please kidnap me from my own company.

PUCKYet but three? Come one more; Two of both kinds make up four. Here she comes, cursed and sad: Cupid is a foolish lad, So to make poor females mad.

Re-enter Hermia

HERMIA Never so tired nor ever so in woe, I’m dripping with the dew, I’m torn with briers, I can no longer crawl nor further go; My legs have lost the race to my desires. I’ll rest up here ’til day surpasses dawn. God help Lysander if the fight is on!


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PUCK On the ground Sleep sound: I'll apply To your eye, Gentle lover, remedy.

Squeezing the juice on Lysander's eyes

When you wake, You take True delight In the sight Of your former lady's eye: And the country proverb known, That every man should take his own, In your waking shall be shown: Jack shall have Jill; None shall go ill; The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well.

ACT IV SCENE 1 - THE SAME.

Lysander, Demetrius, Helena, and Hermia lying asleep.

Enter Titania and Bottom; Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, Mustardseed, and other Fairies attending; Oberon behind unseen.

TITANIA Come, sit you down upon this flowery bed, I’ll kiss and pinch your perfect cheeks, my boy, Stick perfume roses in your sleek smooth head, And kiss your fine large ears, my gentle joy.


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BOTTOM Where's Peaseblossom?

PEASEBLOSSOM Ready.

BOTTOM Scratch my head Peaseblossom. Where's Mounsieur Cobweb?

COBWEB Ready.

BOTTOM Mounsieur Cobweb, good mounsieur, get you your weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipped bumble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good mounsieur, bring me the honey-bag. Do not fret yourself too much in the action, mounsieur; and, good mounsieur, have a care the honey-bag not break; I would be reluctant to have you soaked by a honey-bag, signior. Where's Mounsieur Mustardseed?

MUSTARDSEEDReady.

BOTTOM Give me your palm, Mounsieur Mustardseed. Pray you, leave your courtesy, good mounsieur.

MUSTARDSEED What's your Will?


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BOTTOM Nothing, good mounsieur, but to help Cavalery Cobweb to scratch. I must go to the barber's, monsieur; for I think I am perfectly hairy about the face; and I am such a prissy ass, if my hair but tickles me, I must scratch.

TITANIA What, will you hear some music, my sweet love?

BOTTOM I have a half-decent ear in music. Bring out the tongs and the bones.

TITANIA Or say, sweet love, what you desire to eat.

BOTTOM Oh, anything that’s starchy: I could munch your finest oats. I’m jonesing for a bale of hay: good hay, sweet hay, has no compare.

TITANIA I have a venturous fairy that shall seek The squirrel's hoard, and fetch you new nuts.

BOTTOM I had rather have a handful or two of dried peas. Now I must beg of you that none of “The Help” awaken me: a sleepy exposition descends upon the story.

TITANIA Sleep you, and I will wind you in my arms. Fairies, begone, and be all ways away.

Exeunt fairies


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Much as the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle Gently entwines; as female ivy soEnrings the barky fingers of the elm. O, how I love you! how I dote on you! They sleep. Enter Puck as Oberon advances.

OBERON Welcome, good Robin. See you this sweet sight? Her dotings now I see in pity: For, lately meeting her behind the wood, Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool, I criticized her and fell out with her; For she adorned upon his hairy head A royal crown of fresh and fragrant flowers; And that same dew, which sometimes on the buds Will often swell like round and orient pearls, Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes Like tears that wept over their own disgrace. And once I had my fill of taunting her She calmly asked my patience in reply, I then did ask to take the changeling child; And right away she gave him, sent by fairyTo bring him to my bow’r in fairy land. Since now I have the boy, I will undo This hateful imperfection of her eyes: And, gentle Puck, take this transformed head From that of this confused Athenian; So on awaking when the other does, May everyone to Athens then return again And think no more of this night's accidents But as the fearsome troubles of a dream. But first I will release the fairy queen. Then as you were intended, be;See as you were meant to see: Diana’s bud o’er Cupid's flower Has such force and blessed power. Now, my Titania; wake you, my sweet queen.


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TITANIA My Oberon! What visions have I seen! I thought I was enamoured of an ass.

OBERON There lies your love.

TITANIA How came these things to pass? O, how my eyes do loathe his visage now!

OBERON Silence awhile. Robin, take off this head. Titania, call for music! Wake the dead!Turn common sleep to sensibility!

TITANIA Play music, now! Unwind the charm of sleep!

Music plays.

PUCK Now when you wake, with your own Fool's eyes peep.

OBERON Sound, music! Come, my queen, take hands with me, And rock the ground on which these sleepers be. Now you and I will newborn lovers be, And will tomorrow midnight solemnly Dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly, And bless his house for all prosperity: May all our faithful lovers wedded be At last, along with Theseus, joyously.


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PUCK Fairy king, please heed this mark: I do hear the morning lark.

OBERON Once sad silences descend, Queen, let’s trip at evening’s end, Orbiting the globe to soon Swiftly overtake the moon.

TITANIA Come, my lord, and in our flight Tell me how it came this night That while sleeping I was found With these mortals on the ground.

Exeunt. Horns winded within. Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, Egeus, and train

THESEUS Go, one of you, and find the forester; Our May Day observation must begin; And since we have the early part the day, My love shall hear the music of my hounds Released in the western valley; let them go: Get going, I say, and find the forester.

Exit an Attendant

We will, fair queen, go to the mountain's top, And hear the musical confusion Of hounds and echo playing together.

HIPPOLYTA I was with Hercules and Cadmus once, When in a wood of Crete they caught the bear With hounds of Sparta: never did I hear


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Such gallant scolding: for, besides the groves, The skies, the fountains, every region near Seemed all a single cry: I never heard So musical a discord, such sweet thunder.

THESEUS My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind, Thick-jawed and sandy-colored, with heads hung With ears that sweep away the morning dew; Dew-covered, crooked legged like Thessaly bulls; Slow in pursuit, but with a bark like bells, Each one under the other: a cry more musical Has never got a holla, less a horn, In Crete, in Sparta, nor in Thessaly: You be the judge. But, wait! What nymphs are these?

EGEUS My lord, this is my daughter here asleep; And this, Lysander; this Demetrius; This Helena, old Nedar's Helena: I wonder why they’re sleeping here together.

THESEUS No doubt they rose up early to observe The rite of May, and hearing our intent, Came here respecting our solemnity. But speak, Egeus; is this not the day That Hermia should tell us of her choice?

EGEUS It is, my lord.

THESEUS Go, have the huntsmen wake them with their horns.


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Horns and shout within. Lysander, Demetrius, Helena, and Hermia wake and start up.

THESEUSGood morning, friends. Saint Valentine is past: Do all these birdies only couple now?

LYSANDER Pardon, my lord.

THESEUS I beg you all, stand up. I know you two are rival enemies: How comes this unity here in the world, That hatred is so far from jealousy, To sleep by hate and fear no enemies?

LYSANDER My lord, I shall reply amazedly, Half sleep, half waking: but as yet, I swear, I cannot truly say how I came here; But, as I think – in honesty I speak, Now I think about it, so it is – I traveled here with Hermia: our intent Was leaving Athens, where we’d be together Without the punishments of Athens’ law.

EGEUS Enough, enough, my lord; you have enough: I beg the law - the law! - upon his head. They would have sneaked away; they would, Demetrius, Therefore to have defeated you and me, You of your wife and me of my consent, Of my consent that she should be your wife.


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DEMETRIUS My lord, fair Helen told me of their stealth, Of this their purpose coming to this wood; And mad as hell I chased them down to here, With lovestruck Helena hot on my heels. But, my good lord, I can’t say by what spell – But by some spell it is – my love to Hermia,Like snow that melted, seems to me no moreThan costume jewelry a child would prize,To be unmasked in puberty as paste.And all the faith – what’s holy in my heart - The object and the pleasure of my eyeIs Helena alone. I was engaged to her, My Lord, when I saw Hermia - But, like being sick, I hated food I lovedBut then in health my normal taste came back -My every appetite is Helena, Forever I’ll be true to she I love.

THESEUS How blessed are the meetings of each love! We’ll hear more on this topic – and not now.Egeus, I will overrule your will; For in the temple not too long from nowOur couples shall eternally be wed: And, as the morning has worn herself out, Our hunting trip we’ll take some other day. Let us all head to Athens; three and three, We'll hold ourselves the solemnest of feasts! Come, Hippolyta.

Exeunt Theseus, Hippolyta, Egeus, and train.

DEMETRIUS How tiny and unclear those troubles seem, Like far-off mountains turned into clouds.


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HERMIA It’s like I see things with divided eyes, For everything seems double.

HELENA Me as well. And I have found Demetrius like a jewel, My own, and not my own.

DEMETRIUS Are you sure That we’re awake? For it occurs to me That yet we sleep, we dream. Do you not think The duke was here, who said to follow him?

HERMIA Yes; and my father.

HELENA And Hippolyta.

LYSANDER And he told us to travel to the temple.

DEMETRIUS Why, we’re awake: let's follow him. Along The way we’ll tell each other of our dreams.

Exeunt.

BOTTOM (Awaking)When my cue comes, call me, and I will answer: my next cue is, 'Most fair Pyramus.' Heigh-ho! Peter Quince! Flute, the bellows-mender! Snout, the tinker! Starveling! Oh my God, they ran away and left me asleep! I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, beyond the smarts of man to say what dream it was: the man’s an ass to go examining


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this dream. I thought I was – there is no man can tell what. I thought I was – and I thought I had – but man is but a mended fool, if he even offers to say what I thought I had. The eye of man has not heard, the ear of man has not seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called Bottom's Dream, because it has no bottom; and I will sing it in the later end of a play, before the duke: perhaps, to make it the more gracious, I shall sing it at her death.

Exit.

ACT IV SCENE 2 - ATHENS. QUINCE'S HOUSE.

Enter Quince, Flute, Snout, And Starveling.

QUINCE Have you sent to Bottom's house? Is he come home yet?

STARVELING He cannot be heard of. Allow no doubt that he is kidnapped.

FLUTE Without him then the play is tarnished: it can’t proceed, can it?

QUINCE Impossible: no man of Athens can discharge a Pyramus but he.

FLUTE No, he has simply the best wit of any handicraftman in Athens.

QUINCE Yes and the best person too; and he is a great paramour if you go by his sweet voice.


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FLUTE You must say 'paragon:' a paramour is, God bless us, a thing of nothing.

Enter Snug.

SNUG Masters, the duke is coming from the temple, and there is two or three lords and ladies more married: if our play had gone forward, we’d have all been made men.

FLUTE O sweet bully Bottom! So has he lost six cents a day during his life; he’d not have escaped six cents a day: and the duke had not given him six cents a day for playing Pyramus, I'll be hanged; he would have deserved it: six cents a day in Pyramus, or nothing.

Enter Bottom.

BOTTOM Where are these lads? where are these hearts?

QUINCE Bottom! O most courageous day! O most happy hour!

BOTTOM Masters, I am to tell of wonders: but ask me not what; for if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I will tell you everything, right as it fell out.

QUINCE Let us hear, sweet Bottom.


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BOTTOM Not a word of me. All that I will tell you is that the duke has dined. Get your apparel together, good strings to your beards, new ribbons to your pumps; meet presently at the palace; every man look over his part; for the short and the long is, our play is preferred. In any case, let Thisby have clean linen; and let not him that plays the lion clip his nails, for they shall hang out for the lion's claws. And, most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath; and I do not doubt but to hear them say, it is a sweet comedy. No more words: away! go, away!

WE WILL NOW PAUSE FOR A DISCUSSION AND A TEN-MINUTE BREAK


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ACT V SCENE 1 - ATHENS. THE PALACE OF THESEUS.

Enter Theseus, Hippolyta, Philostrate, Lords and Attendants.

HIPPOLYTA Strange story, Theseus, that these lovers tell.

THESEUS More strange than true: I never may believe These antique fables, nor these fairy tales. Lovers and madmen have such busy brains, Creative fantasies, that capture truth More than pure reason ever comprehends. The lunatic, the lover and the poet Reside together in imagination: One sees more devils than vast hell can hold, That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic, Sees Hel’n of Troy in an Egyptian; The poet's eye, which rolls in a fine frenzy, Looks round from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven; And as imagination emanates The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen Turns them to shapes and gives to nothingness A local habitation and a name. Such tricks have strong imagination, That if it would but capture then some joy, It comprehends some bringer of that joy; Or in the night, when one is full of fear, How easy is a bush assumed a bear!

HIPPOLYTA With all the story of the night told over, And all their minds transformed together, Experience exceeds imagination So birthing something solid to endure; However strange and admirable it is.


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THESEUS Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.

Enter Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia, And Helena

THESEUSJoy, gentle friends! And freshest days of love Accompany your hearts!

LYSANDER More than you wish Waits in your royal walks, your room, your bed!

THESEUS Come now; what plays, what dances shall we have, To wear away this long age of three hours Between dessert and off-to-bed-time? Where is our usual manager of mirth? What festivities await? Is there no play, To ease the boredom of a torturous hour? Call Philostrate.

PHILOSTRATE Here, mighty Theseus.

THESEUS What entertainment have you for this evening? What masque? what music? How shall we all spend The lazy time, if not with some delight?

PHILOSTRATE There is a list of all the fun in store: Make choice of which your highness will see first.

She gives a paper.


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THESEUS (Reads. )'The battle with the Centaurs, to be sung By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.' We'll none of that: that I have told my love, To honor my relation, Hercules. (Reads.)'The riot of the tipsy Bacchanals, Tearing the Thracian singer in their rage.' That is a tired tale; and it was play'd When I came back a conqueror from Thebes. (Reads.)'The thrice three Muses mourning for the death Of Learning, late deceased in poverty.' That is some satire, keen and critical, Most inappropriate for a wedding-day. (Reads.) 'A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth.' Merry and tragical! Tedious and brief! That’s like hot ice and wondrous strange snow. How shall we find accord within this discord?

PHILOSTRATE A play there is, my lord, some ten words long, Which is as brief a play as I have known; Being ten words, my lord, it is too long, Which makes it tedious; for in all the play No word is right, nor actor who’s well-cast: A tragedy, my noble lord, it is; For Pyramus commits a suicide. Which, when I saw rehearsed, I must confess, My eyes brimmed over - with the merriest tears The passion of loud laughter never shed.

THESEUS And what are they who’ll play the roles?


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PHILOSTRATE Some laborers that toil in Athens here, Their minds never knew labor until now, And now have taxed their spotty memories With this same play in honor of your marriage.

THESEUS And we will hear it.

PHILOSTRATE No, my noble lord; It is not for you: I have heard it over, And it is nothing, nothing in the world; Unless you laugh at their intentions, As truly they’re in way over their heads, To bring good humor.

THESEUS I will hear that play; For never anything can be a wrong When simpleness and duty offer it. Go, bring them in: and take your places, ladies.

Exit Philostrate.

HIPPOLYTA I dislike seeing anguish overplayed Nor duty dying from a life of service.

THESEUS My gentle sweet, I promise no such thing.

HIPPOLYTA He says they can do nothing of the kind.

THESEUS The kinder we are, giving thanks for nothing. Our fun shall be observing their mistakes: And if they’re short of competent, we’ll say


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“You all were working very hard up there.” Where I have gone, ambassadors have come To greet me with premeditated welcomes; Where I have seen them shiver and look pale, Make periods in the midst of sentences, Bungle their practiced accent in their fears And in conclusion dumbly have broke off, Not paying me a welcome. Trust me, sweet, Out of this silence I detect a welcome; And in this nervous, stammered introduction I read as much as from the wordy tongue Of confident and practiced eloquence. Love, therefore, and tongue-tied simplicity What’s least speaks most, from what I have seen.

Re-enter Philostrate.

PHILOSTRATE So please your grace, the Prologue is arriving.

THESEUS Let him approach.

Flourish of trumpets. Enter Quince for the Prologue.

QUINCE / PROLOGUEIf we offend, it is with our good will. That you should think, we come not to offend, But with good will. To show our simple skill, That is the true beginning of our end. Consider then we come but in despite. We do not come as minding to contest you, Our true intent is. All for your delight We are not here. That you should here repent you, The actors are at hand and by their show You shall know all that you are like to know.


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THESEUS This fellow doth not stand upon points.

LYSANDER He declaimed his prologue like an untamed colt; he knows not the stop. A good moral, my lord: it is not enough to speak, but to speak true.

HIPPOLYTA Indeed he has played on his prologue like a child on a recorder; a sound, but not in any order.

THESEUS His speech, was like a tangled chain; nothingIs broken but all tied in knots. Who is next?

Enter Pyramus and Thisbe, Wall, Moonshine, and Lion.

QUINCE / PROLOGUEGentles, perchance you wonder at this show; But wonder on, till truth make all things plain. This man is Pyramus, if you would know; This beauteous lady Thisby is certain. This man, with lime and mortar, doth present Wall, that vile Wall which separates these lovers; And through Wall's chink, poor souls, they are content To whisper. At the which let no man wonder. This man, with lantern, dog, and bush of thorn, Presents here Moonshine; for, if you will know, By moonshine did these lovers think no scorn To meet at Ninus' tomb, there, there to woo. This grisly beast, of Lion known by name, The trusty Thisby, coming first by night, Did scare away, or rather did affright; And, as she fled, she fled and dropped her shawl, Which Lion vile with bloody mouth did stain. Along comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall, And finds his trusty Thisby's mantle slain:


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At that, with blade, with bloody blameful blade, He bravely broach'd his boiling bloody breast; And Thisby, hanging out in mulb’rry shade, His dagger drew, and died. For all the rest, Let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain Begin discussion, while they do remain.

Exeunt Prologue, Thisbe, Pyramus, Lion, and Moonshine.

THESEUS I wonder if the lion plans to speak.

DEMETRIUS No wonder, my lord: one lion may, when many asses do.

SNOUT / WALLIn this same interval it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This sand, this mortar and this stone here show I am that very wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.

THESEUS Do you need lime and hair to speak more clearly?

DEMETRIUS It is the wittiest partition that ever I heard converse, my lord. Enter Pyramus.

THESEUS Pyramus draws near the wall: silence!


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PYRAMUSO grim-look'd night! O night with hue so black! O night, which ever is when day is not! O night, O night! alack, alack, alack, I fear my Thisby's promise is forgot! And you, O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall, That stands between her father's ground and mine! You wall, O wall, O sweet and lovely wall, Show me your chink, to blink through with mine eyne!

Wall holds up his fingers.

PYRAMUSThanks, courteous wall: Jove shield you well for this! But what see I? No Thisby do I see. O wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss! Curse all your stones for so deceiving me!

THESEUS The wall, methinks, being sensible, should curse again.

PYRAMUSNo, in truth, sir, he should not. 'Deceiving me' is Thisby's cue: she is to enter now, and I am to see her through the wall. You shall see, it will fall cleanly as I told you. Yonder she comes.

Enter Thisbe.

THISBEO wall, quite often have you heard my moans, For parting my fair Pyramus and me! My cherry lips have often kiss'd your stones, Your stones with lime and hair stirred up in you.

PYRAMUSI see a voice: now will I to the chink, To see and I can hear my Thisby's face. Thisby!


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THISBEMy love! You art, my love I think.

PYRAMUSThink what you will, I am your lover's grace; And, like Limander, am I trusty still.

THISBEAnd I like Helen, till the Fates me kill.

PYRAMUSNot Shafalus to Procrus was so true.

THISBE As Shafalus to Procrus, I to you.

PYRAMUSO kiss me through the hole of this vile wall!

THISBEI kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.

PYRAMUS Wilt you at Ninny's tomb meet me straightaway?

THISBE'Tide life, 'tide death, I come without delay.

Exeunt Pyramus and Thisbe.

WALLThus have I, Wall, my part is played well so; And, being done, thus Wall away doth go.

Exit.

THESEUS Now is the wall come down between the two neighbours.


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DEMETRIUS No problem solved, my lord, when walls are so willful to Hear without warning.

HIPPOLYTA This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard.

THESEUS The best plays like this are but shadows; and the worst Are no worse, if imagination fills them in.

HIPPOLYTA It must be your imagination then, and not theirs.

THESEUS If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men. Here come two noble beasts in, a man and a lion.

Enter Lion and Moonshine.

LIONYou, ladies, you, whose gentle hearts do fear The smallest monstrous mouse that creeps on floor, May now perhaps both quake and tremble here, When lion rough in wildest rage doth roar. Then know that I, one Snug the joiner, am A lion-fell, nor else no lion's dame; For, if I should as lion come in strife Into this place, 'twere pity on my life.

THESEUS A very gentle beast, of a good conscience.

DEMETRIUS The very best at a beast, my lord, that ev’r I saw.


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LYSANDERThis lion is a very fox for his valour.

THESEUS True; and a goose for keeping secrets.

DEMETRIUS Not so, my lord; for his valour cannot hold all of his secret-keeping; and the fox carries the goose.

THESEUS His secret-keeping, I am sure, cannot carry his valour; for the goose carries not the fox. It is well: leave him to his secrets, and let us listen to the moon.

MOONSHINEThis lantern now the horned moon presents;--

DEMETRIUS He should have worn the horns upon his head.

THESEUS He is no crescent, and his horns are invisible within the circumference.

MOONSHINEThis lantern now the horned moon presents; Myself “the man in the moon” I seem to be.

THESEUS This is the greatest error of them all! The man should be put into the lantern. How else could he be the “man in the moon”?

DEMETRIUS He dares not come there for the candle; for, you see, it is already in snuff.


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HIPPOLYTA I grow weary of this moon: If he would only change!

THESEUS It appears, by his small light of modesty, that he is waning; but yet, in politeness, in all reason, we must wait it out.

LYSANDER Proceed, Moon.

MOONSHINEAll that I have to say, is, to tell you that the lantern is the moon; I, the “man in the moon”; this thorn-bush, my thorn-bush; and this dog, my dog.

DEMETRIUS Why, all these should be in the lantern; for all these are in the moon. But, silence! here comes Thisbe.

Enter Thisbe

THISBEThis is old Ninny's tomb. Where is my love?

LION(Roaring) Oh –

Thisbe runs off.

DEMETRIUS Well roared, Lion.

THESEUS Well run, Thisbe.


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HIPPOLYTA Well shone, Moon. Truly, the moon shines with a good grace.

The Lion shakes Thisbe's mantle, and exits.

THESEUS Well moused, Lion.

LYSANDER And so the lion vanished.

DEMETRIUS And then came Pyramus.

Enter Pyramus.

PYRAMUSSweet Moon, I thank you for your sunny beams; I thank you, Moon, for shining now so bright; For, by your gracious, golden, glittering gleams, I trust to take of truest Thisby sight. But stay, O spite! But mark, poor knight, What dreadful sadness here! Eyes, do you see? How can it be? O dainty duck! O dear! Your mantle good, What, stained with blood! Approach, you Furies fell! O Fates, come, come, Cut thread and thrum; Quail, crush, conclude, and quell!

THESEUS This passion, and the death of a dear friend, would Almost make a man look sad.


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HIPPOLYTA Oh curse my heart, but I pity the man.

PYRAMUSO why, O Nature, did you make lions? Since lion vile has here deflowered my dear: Which is – no, no – which was the fairest dame That lived, that loved, that liked, that look'd with cheer. Come, tears, confound; Out, sword, and woundThe heart of Pyramus; Ay, that left vent, Where heart would hop:

Stabs himself.

Thus die I, thus, thus, thus. Now am I dead, Now am I fled; My soul is in the sky: Tongue, lose your light; Moon take your flight:

Exit Moonshine.

Now die, die, die, die, die.

Dies.

DEMETRIUS No “die”, but an ace, for him; for he’s only one.

LYSANDER Less than an ace, man; for he is dead; he is nothing.


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THESEUS With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, and Prove himself an ass.

HIPPOLYTA How curious that Moonshine is gone before Thisbe comes back and finds her lover!

THESEUS She will find him by starlight. Here she comes; and her passion ends the play.

Re-enter Thisbe.

HIPPOLYTA Methinks she should not use a long speech for such a Pyramus: I hope she will be brief.

DEMETRIUS A speck of dust will turn the balance, which Pyramus, which Thisbe, is the better; he for a man, God allow us; she for a woman, God bless us.

LYSANDER She has seen him already with those sweet eyes.

DEMETRIUS And thus she moans, by which she says:--

THISBEAsleep, my love? What, dead, my dove? O Pyramus, arise! Speak, speak. Quite dumb? Dead, dead? A tomb Must cover your sweet eyes. These my lips, This cherry nose,


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These yellow cowslip cheeks, Are gone, are gone: Lovers, make moan: His eyes were green as leeks. O Sisters Three, Come, come to me, With hands as pale as milk; Lay them in gore, Since you have shorn With shears his thread of silk. Tongue, not a word: Come, trusty sword; Come, blade, my breast imbue:

Stabs herself.

And, farewell, friends; Thus Thisby ends: Adieu, adieu, adieu.

Dies.

THESEUS Moonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead.

DEMETRIUS Ay, and Wall too.

BOTTOM (Starting up.)No I assure you; the wall is down that parted their fathers. Will it please you to see the epilogue, or to hear a Bergomask dance between two of our company?

THESEUS No epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no excuse. Never excuse; for when the players are all dead, there needs none to be blamed. Marry, if he that wrote it had


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played Pyramus and hanged himself with Thisbe's garter, it would have been a fine tragedy: and so it is, truly; and very notably played out. Bring on your Bergomask: let your epilogue alone. A dance. The iron tongue of midnight told us twelve: Lovers, to bed; 'tis almost fairy time. I fear we shall out-sleep the coming dawn As much as we have overwatched this night. This obvious, gross play has well seduced The heavy step of night. Sweet friends, to bed. For two weeks we hold this solemnity, In nightly revels and new jollity.

Exeunt. Enter Puck.

PUCK Now the hungry lion roars, And the wolf howls at the moon; While the heavy ploughman snores, All their weary tasks are done. Now the wasted fires do glow, While the screech-owl, screeching loud, Tells the wretch that lies in woe Death awaits him in a shroud. Now it is the time of night That the graves all gaping wide, Every one lets forth his sprite, In the church-way paths to glide: And we fairies, that do run By the King of Witches’ team, From the presence of the sun, Following darkness like a dream, Now are frolic: not a mouse Shall disturb this honored house: I am sent with broom before, To sweep the dust behind the door.


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Enter Oberon and Titania with their train

OBERON Through the house give gathering light, By the dead and drowsy fire: Every elf and fairy sprite Hop as light as bird from briar; And this ditty, after me, Sing, and dance it trippingly.

TITANIA First, rehearse your song by rote To each word a warbling note: Hand in hand, with fairy grace, Will we sing, and bless this place.

Song and dance.

OBERON Now, until the break of day, Through this house each fairy stray. To the best bride-bed will we, Which by us shall blessed be; And the children we createEver shall be fortunate. So shall all the couples three Ever true in loving be; And defects of Nature's hand Shall not in their children stand; Never mole, hare lip, nor scar, Nor noticeable mark, as are Despised in one’s infancy, Shall upon their children be. With this dawning then abide, Every fairy take his stride; And each and every bedroom bless, Through this palace, soothing stress; And the owner of it blest


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Ever shall in safety rest. Trip away; make no stay; Meet me all by break of day.

Exeunt Oberon, Titania, and train.

PUCK If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprimand: if you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck To escape the serpent's tongue, We’ll amend it before long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.

END.


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