2009 CommunicationsSeminar

Horsejump, IrelandDavid Alan Grier

Goals• To make you all be better able to

communicate your research throughwriting and presentations

• Targets:– Clear sentences– Coherent Paragraphs– Logical Papers and presentations

Schedule• Wednesday:– Background of Writing, Style and

Communication• Thursday:– Coherence, Cohesion and Emphasis

• Friday:– Assessment, Debugging and Presentations

Wednesday Schedule• 9:00-11:00– Introductory Activities

• 11:30-1:00– Understanding Style and Correctness

• Afternoon:– Characters and Actions

• Assignment:– Paragraph Description of Research

Introduction Exercise• Introduce yourself:– 2 Minutes– Identification• Role• Why you are part of this group

– Offering• What you bring

– Goal• What you hope to gain

Introduction Exercise• Identification– Leader of Seminar• Father taught to program• Teacher, Programmer, Entrepreneur

• Offering• Editor and Writer (“The Known World”)• May know something about this

• Goal• See if I can do this• Stories

Warning and DisclaimerBy participating in the seminar, you are

agreeing that you might become acharacter in “The Known World.” You alsoagree that you have no right to complain ifthe author changes your likeness, alterscertain details of your life and introduces alesson from your experience.

Introduction Exercise• Introduce yourself:– 2 Minutes– Identification• Role• Why you are part of this group

– Offering• What you bring

– Goal• What you hope to gain

Starting Exercise• Three items:– Name of a city– Name of a person, real or fictitious– Name of an object commonly found in a

house or office• Take one minute to think• Tell a story that lasts for 5 minutes

Starting Exercise• The Story Trumps– Know what you are saying before you write– Outline/Sketch/List• Short Outline w/ quotes and references• It will change anyway but you need a starting point• At some point more important to finish than

consistent• Fix in rewrite

– All writing should answer question:

Overview of Field• So What?

Overview of Field• So What?• Why should I care?

Overview of Field• So What?• Why should I care?• What is in it for me?

Overview of Field• So What?• Why should I care?• What is in it for me?• Why should I bother to read this?• Why is this important to me?

Overview of Field• Bad writing answers question– Do I know what I am doing?

• Offshoot of thesis work– Answers that question

Overview of Field• Four major elements of Doctoral

Dissertation– Literature Search:• Do I know the field?

– Problem Statement:• Do I know how to state and contextualize a

question?– Solution:• Do I know how to solve a problem?

– Assessment:• Do I know what I have done and where it goes?

Overview of Field• Four Forms of Publication– Proceedings Paper– Journal Paper (Journal of ACM)–Magazine Paper (Computer/CACM)– BookAll Answer Question:

• Why Should I Care?

Overview of Field• Proceedings Paper: Why Should I Care?– Principal Audience: Yourself and your close

colleagues– Answer to Question: Do I care enough to develop

further?– Main Features:

• Minimal Contextualization• Detailed Exposition of solution• Speculation on future work

– Speed: Multiple papers per year– Shelf life: Months– Uses: Stake Out Territory

How Stupid is this? Test Plans

Overview of Field• Journal Paper: Why Should I Care?– Principal Audience: Researchers Involved in your

field– Answer to Question: Do I care enough to add to

knowledge?– Main Features:

• Appropriate Contextualization• Refined Exposition of solution• Hooks for further work

– Speed: one or two a year w/o assistants– Shelf life: 18-24 months; Longer for fundamental

ideas– Uses: Contribution to Knowlege

Overview of Field• Professional Magazine Article: Why Should I

Care?– Principal Audience: General Professional

audience– Answer to Question: Do I care enough learn this?– Main Features:

• Focused Contextualization & Limited LiteratureDiscussion

• Careful introduction and presentation of solution• Only general discussion of future

– Speed: one or two a year w/o assistants– Shelf life: 2-4 years but can be longer– Uses: Educating Field

Overview of Field• Book Monograph: Why Should I Care?– Principal Audience: Your Field and related fields– Answer to Question: Do I care enough learn this?– Main Features:

• Full Contextualization• Full Development of Theoretical Machinery• Careful introduction and presentation of solution• Problems for Solution

– Speed: on in 2-3 years– Shelf life: 3-6 years but can be longer– Uses: Developing Field

Overview of Field• Book (Textbook): Why Should I Care?– Principal Audience: Students– Answer to Question: Why Should I learn this?– Main Features:

• Limited contextualization• Simplified exposition and Theory• Problems for Solution

– Speed: on in 2-3 years but demands regularupdates

– Shelf life: 3-6 years but can be longer– Uses: Educating Students

Overview of Field• Four Types of Writing:– Description– Instructions– Argumentation– Assessment

Overview of Field• Supporting Tools– Style– Characters– Cohesion and Coherence– Emphasis

1: Understanding StyleFundamental Metric: No Backtracking

Your Reader can start at the beginning, readstraight to the end and does not have tobacktrack

1: Understanding Style• Precision

Technical communication must be precise andaccurate

• ContextTechnical communication is embedded in a

context that extends beyond the work inquestion

1: Understanding Style• First Step:

You have to understand clearly.

–Writing and rewriting can often be the processby which you understand an idea

– BUT if you donʼt clearly understand the idea,you will find that nothing is more frustratingthan trying to put your idea into words

2: Correctness• What is a rule of good writing?

“The Passive Voice Should Not Be Used”(Or Donʼt use the Passive Voice.)

Argument:• Hides agent of action• Can be confusing to read

2: Correctness• Our Approach:

God Gave us the Passive Voice for aReason.

Letʼs go out there and use it.

• Scientists have learned much about thenature of the universe by studying blackholes in space. [A/B] So much mattercompressed into such a small volumechanges the fabric of space in profoundways.

– A. The collapse of a dead star into a pointperhaps no larger than a marble creates ablack hole.

– B. A black hole is created by the collapse of adead start into an object perhaps no largerthan a marble.

2: Correctness• Scientists have learned much about the

nature of the universe by studying blackholes in space. A black hole is created bythe collapse of a dead start into an objectperhaps no larger than a marble. So muchmatter compressed into such a small volumechanges the fabric of space in profoundways.

B is a more coherent choice. It makes it easierfor the reader to start at the beginning andmove through the text without backtracking.

2: Correctness• Common rule “Never start a sentence withʻandʼ.”– Reason rarely given– In fact it makes a sentence sound like an

afterthought– And sometimes you want a sentence to sound

like an afterthought

2: Correctness• Williams identifies different kinds of rules:– Folklore: Starting sentence with ʻandʼ• Do it if you have a reason

– Elegant Options: Donʼt end sentence withpreposition.

– Hobgoblins: None is a singular noun• None of the options is good

– Special Problems: Gendered Pronouns• Where is the first neuter person singular?

2: Correctness• We will have conditioned statements.– If you do this than you will have that effect.

• Text should move from the known to theunknown, connecting familiar ideas to newideas.– Benefit: Such text should be easier to reader.– Drawback: Rarely a good strategy for a joke.

2: Correctness• Norbert Weiner(1894-1964)– Cybernetics, 1948

Presentation 1: Description• Choose a path through object– Left to Right; Up to down; beginning to end.

• Include only detail that makes sense• Group items if necessary– Then describe groups.

Presentation 1: Description• The Palmer memory was very small but it

was the first commercial ferrite corememory. His Endicott team achieved itsgoal of producing an all-transistorizedsupport circuitry. The 608 unit used thismemory without the transistorized circuits.The Japanese model of the 620 used avacuum tube driver in its power supply butwas the second machine to use transistorsto control memory circuits.

Presentation 1: Description• At Endicott, Ralph Palmer lead a team of

engineers to build a ferrite core memory withdriving circuits that utilized transistors rather thanvacuum tubes. This memory was the first deviceof its kind to be commercial success for IBM. IBMintroduced the memory unit to the market on the608 storage unit, though they decided to useconventional vacuum tube circuits in this productrather than the new transistors. The companyreleased the transistorized circuits on theAmerican 620 storage unit. It also includedtransistors on the Japanese version of the 620,which was a hybrid machine that used vacuumtubes in its power supply.

Presentation 1: Description• Description: Choose your path.– Left to Right– Bottom to Top– In to out– Order of assembly

• Put elements in hierarchy– Not all elements are created equal

Presentation 1: DescriptionThe Bandsaw has four main elements: thesupporting arm, the head connector, thedriving wheel, and the saw blade. Thesupporting arm is the curved piece of castiron on the left of the picture. The headconnector is the complicated part directlyaffixed to the arm. The driving wheel isthe 8-spoke wheel attached to the headconnector. The saw blade is the thin lookof toothed steel that is wrapped around thewheel.

The supporting arm consists of….

Presentation 1: Description

Presentation 1: Description

Presentation 1: Description

Presentation 1: Description

3: Actions• Once upon a time, as cleaning of the

furnace was being done by Cinderella andcrying was being done by the same,rapping one the door was heard andentrance was soon made by a womanwhose position as Cinderellaʼs godmother,of the fairy variety, was proven by herelegant dress.

3: Actions• Once upon a time, when Cinderella was

cleaning the furnace, she heard a knockupon the door, and was surprised to see awoman, who looked remarkably likeGwyneth Paltrow, enter the room. After abrief awkward moment, this woman prove,by her elegant dress that she wasCinderellaʼs Fairy Godmother.

3: Actions• Processing of the central equations being

done by the main routine, the updating ofthe assessment information isaccomplished by means of a Kalman Filterrunning on separate processor whilehandling of exceptions is done by theseparate code that holds in a suspendedstate on the main processor.

3: Actions• Within the program, the main routine

processes the central equations while asecond routine updates the assessmentinformation. This second routine runs on asecond processor and uses a KalmanFilter. The program handles exceptionevents with a special piece of code thatoperates on the main processor. Undernormal circumstances, this code is in asuspended mode.

3: Actions• Principle 1: Place the main actors in your

writing in the subjects of the sentences:– The program sorts the data.– The network transmits the images.– The user types on the keyboard.

3: Actions• Principle 2: Make your important actions

the main verbs of the sentences.– The program sorts the data.– The network transmits the images.– The user types on the keyboard.

3: Actions• WARNING!–We are about to deal with a concept that

Williams calls Nominalization. Nominalizationis the process of turning verbs into nouns. Incomputer science we do this all the timebecause we are dealing with abstractconcepts that are difficult to describe. Ourtask will be to determine when we haveneedlessly nominalized a verb and when wehave created a term of art from a verb.

3: Actions• Nominalization from Verb or Adjective– Discovery from discover– Reaction from react– Carelessness from careless– Drive from drive

3: Actions• Our drive was great.• We had a great drive• We had fun while driving our automobile.

4: Characters• The Federalists argument in regard to the

destabilization of government by populardemocracy was based on their belief in thetendency of factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the commongood.

4: Characters• The Federalists argument in regard to the

destabilization of government by populardemocracy was based on their belief in thetendency of factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the commongood.

4: Characters• The Federalists argued that popular

democracy destabilized government,because they believed that factionstended to further their self-interest at theexpense of the common good.

4: Characters• Diagnosis and Revision

1. Diagnose• Underline first 7 or 8 words in the sentence (w/o

introductory phrases such as “Back in December2008,”)• Look for abstract nouns• Look to see if you go more than 7 or 8 words

before you get to a verb.

4: Characters• The outsourcing of high-tech work to Asia

by corporations means the loss of jobs formay European workers.

4: Characters• The outsourcing of high-tech work to Asia

by corporations means the loss of jobs formay European workers.

Outsourcing is abstract nounWe have to go 10 words to a verb

4: Characters• Analyze– 1. Identify your main characters (particularly

flesh and blood)– 2. Look for actions that these characters

perform.

4: Characters• The outsourcing of high-tech work to Asia

by corporations means the loss of jobsfor may European workers.

Actors are corporations and workers• The outsourcing of high-tech work to

Asia by corporations means the loss ofjobs for may European workers

Actions are outsourcing and loss

4: Characters• Rewrite– 1. If actions are nominalizations, make them

verbs.– 2. Make the Characters subjects of those

verbs.– 3. Rewrite the sentences with subordinating

conjunctions such as because, when, if, that,whether, and so forth.

4: Characters• Many Europeans are losing their jobs

because Corporations are sending theirhigh-tech work to Asia.

4: CharactersAnnounced in the recent issue of Science,

the discovery of water in the polar regionsof Mars illustrates not only our changingview of planetary science but also revealsthe frustrating nature of working with fixeddecision making points in the operationalplans of space missions.

4: CharactersAnnounced in the recent issue of Science,

the discovery of water in the polar regionsof Mars illustrates not only our changingview of planetary science but also revealsthe frustrating nature of working with fixeddecision making points in the operationalplans of space missions.

11 words to verb

4: CharactersAnnounced in the recent issue of Science,

the discovery of water in the polar regionsof Mars illustrates not only our changingview of planetary science but also revealsthe frustrating nature of working with fixeddecision making points in the operationalplans of space missions.

Actors: Scientists, us, space missionsActions: Announce, Reveal, Decide,

Operate

4: CharactersIn the recent issue of Science, scientists at

Malin Space Systems announced that theyhad found water in the polar regions of Mars.

What do we do with the rest? illustrates not only our changing view of

planetary science but also reveals thefrustrating nature of working with fixeddecision making points in the operationalplans of space missions.

4: Characters• An important exception to the Williams rule

on nominalizations:

– Nominalizations can be used as a shortsubject that references a prior sentence.

4: CharactersIn the recent issue of Science, scientists at

Malin Space Systems announced that theyhad found water in the polar regions of Mars.This discovery will change our view ofplanetary science.

Now what? but also reveals the frustrating nature of

working with fixed decision making points inthe operational plans of space missions.

4: CharactersNow what? but also reveals the frustrating nature of

working with fixed decision making pointsin the operational plans of space missions.

This is overloaded. It refers to outsidematerial. The scientists found water veryclose to an old Viking spacecraft. If theViking had dug 6 inches deeper, it wouldhave found water.

4: Characters• In announcing the discovery, the scientists

noted that water was close to the Vikingspacecraft that landed in 1976. If theViking had dug 6 more inches, it wouldhave found water. Because they had tofollow a fixed schedule, the Vikingscientists had to stop the mission beforethey completed digging.

Assignment• Paragraph describing research– 3 – 6 sentences• Problem• Why Should I care?• Results• Interesting Steps on Way