10 Phrases That Are Holding Your Career Back - Forbes

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Click for full photo gallery: 10 Words To Erase From

Your Vocabulary

The difference between the almost-

right word and the right word is

really a large matterits the

difference between the lightning bug

and the lightning.Mark Twain

Whether dealing with clients,

coworkers or superiors, how you

phrase and frame your message

colors the way people perceive you.

The words you choose may be the

difference between being thought of

as problem-solver or a problem.

Words are very important because they shape not only how other people

hear you, but how they feel about you, says Karen Friedman, author ofShut

Up and Say Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome

Challenges and Influence Listeners. If you garner some kind of positiveemotion, then youll make people care. Then youre in a much better position

for them to listen.

However, too often business communication is peppered with filler words

(umm, uh huh, well) that muddle the message, qualifiers (sort of, kind of,

mostly) that diminish authority, and negative framing (cant, impossible,

never) that is discouraging and unproductive. In an informal poll of

communication experts and career advisers, these 10 phrases were voted the

worst things to say in your career.

Tha t s n o t m y j o b .

This makes it about what youcantdo as opposed to what you can do, says

Friedman. It paints you as not being a team player. Furthermore, it flies in

the face of crucial career assets like flexibility and the willingness to learn new

skills, which are required for leadership roles. Take it to a positive place by

saying, Its not really my area of expertise. Lets see who might be able to

better help with this.

I t h i n k

Lorrie Thomas Ross, chief executive of consultancy Web Marketing Therapy,

calls this and others like it (I believe and I feel) discounting phrases.

They make you seem less authoritative and reduce the power of the message.

The statement, I think this is the best strategy, is much weaker than, This is

the best strategy. Likewise, eliminate prefaces like I want or Id like to.

So, rather than saying, I want to thank you, simply say, Thank you.

I d o n t k n ow .

FORBESWOMAN | 10/03/2012 @ 10:27AM | 70,901 views

10 Phrases That Are HoldingYour Career Back

see photos

Jenna Goudreau, Forbes Staff

I write about navigating success for professional women.

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You think thats being honest, but its really a cop out, saysHenry Devries,

assistant dean for continuing education at the University of CaliforniaSan

Diegoand co-author ofClosing Americas Job Gap. It can be seen as lazy and

not willing to take the next step. Instead, say: Let me find out the answer.

Similarly, saying, I dont know how to do that, is better framed as, Where

could I get help to learn how to do that? Then, youre bridging the solution.

I c an t .

Again, this suggests a rigidity and unwillingness to be helpful or provide

solutions. You want to show employers you are ready to learn and tackle any

challenge, says Josh Tolan, chief executive of video interviewing platform

Spark Hire. Instead of dismissively saying I cant, pinpoint the issue and

suggest a way around it. For example, if youre asked to present a project at a

time that conflicts with another commitment, say, Unfortunately, I have a

conflict then. However, Ive been working closely with Sarah on this, and she

would be fantastic.

Bu t

Using the word but completely negates whatever youve said before it, says

Devries. While you may be well-intentioned, a comment like that blouse

looks nice on you, but the earrings dont match will not be taken well. We areconditioned to always listen for the negative information. Were used to the

manure sandwich, he saysthats something nice, something negative,

something nice, so that the negative bit is sandwiched in between.

Oftentimes, but is easily replaced with and, which softens the message.

Tha t s no t a good i dea .

Nancy Mobley, founder and chief executive of consultancy Insight

Performance, says quickly shooting down ideas makes employees and

coworkers feel less comfortable about sharing their opinions and ideas, which

can hamper creativity and innovation. Some of the best ideas might be

something youre apt to shoot down before vetting them and getting more

information, she says. Instead of dismissing something outright, ask aquestion like, How would it work?

I l l t r y .

The word try implies the possibility it may not get finished; it presupposes

possible failure, says communication expert Darlene Price, author ofWell

Said. If your boss asks for a proposal first thing in the morning and you

respond, Ill try to get it finished, youre undermining yourself and putting

doubts in your bosss mind. Instead, say, Ill have it on your desk by 9 a.m.

I t w a sn t m y f a u l t .

People hear it as defensive, says Friedman. If someone asks what went

wrong, they may not even be blaming you, so immediately diverting blameonly draws attention to it. Take the higher ground, and try to be a problem

solver. Say, Let me try to better understand what happened, or, Lets figure

out how we can prevent it from happening again.

I g uess.

This is a common qualifier, which people use to hedge their bets against

saying the wrong thing. Avoid language that is tentative and not reflecting

confidence, says Dale Austin, director of the career development center at

Hope College. Erase it from your vocabulary. If theres a concern that gives

you pause, instead of speaking tentatively, express the concern outright.

Tha t s im possib l e .

Like saying it cant be done, thats impossible is extremely negative. It

signifies that youre not willing to even try, says Friedman. Negativity is


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infectious and spreads like a virus. To keep it positive, say, Lets look at

some different ways to tackle it.

Follow me @Jenna_Goudreau, andsubscribe to me on Facebook.

See Also:

Is Your Body Language Costing You A Promotion?

How To Tame Your Inner Control Freak

Top 5 Interview Mistakes Millennials Make

How To Speak With Authority

How To Lose Friends And Alienate Coworkers With Bad Mobile

Behavior

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