© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE:

What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Welcomewww.trustedadvisor.com/pmidc

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Common People ChallengesWHAT’S MOST VEXING FOR YOU?

1.Make a compelling case2.Gain the agreement of diverse

stakeholders3. Say “no” to a customer4.Recover from mistakes5.Transition to a new customer

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Goals for TodayAT THE END OF THIS PRESENTATION YOU WILL:

1.Know the four essential elements of trustworthiness

2.Understand the “secret weapon” of influence

3.Appreciate the paradox of trust and be able to put it to work

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

5

Building Blocks

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

6

The Trust EquationWHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH?

C + R + I S

T trustworthinessC credibilityR reliabilityI intimacyS self-orientation

T =

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

7

How We Think People ThinkIT’S A QUESTION OF FOCUS

FactsFacts LogicLogic Truth

Truth

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

8

Cialdini on InfluenceTHE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSUASION

A primary driver of influence is …

reciprocity

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TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Gottman on Long-Term PartnershipTHE IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHY

“Understanding must precede advice.”

“You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize … before you suggest a solution.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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What Empathy Sounds Like

“That’s a tough

spot to be in.”

“Sounds like we haven’t

done a good job making our case.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m

sure that’s frustrating, to say the least.”

“I don’t see value in that.”

“We’re just not sure which way to go.”

“I’m disappointed by your team’s results.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

11

Three-Level ListeningPUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE

In pairs:Person A shares a

project challengePerson B plays consultant/listener

3-minute role-play:Person A—SharePerson B—DO NOT solve the problem!

1-minute debrief:What was your experience?

Switch roles and repeat

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

12

Thomas Friedman on Listening

“People often ask me how I, an American Jew, have been able to operate in the Arab/Muslim world for 20 years, and my answer to them is always the same. The secret is to be a good listener …”“ … It's not just what you hear by listening that is important. It is what you say by listening that is important...”

“ … Never underestimate how much people just want to feel that they have been heard; once you have given them that chance, they will hear you.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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Key Takeaways

1. Make a compelling case

2. Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders

3. Say “no” to a customer

4. Recover from mistakes

5. Transition to a new customer

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved

© 2009-2011 Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved.

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WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS

The Goodie Bag

www.trustedadvisor.com/pmidc

ahowe@trustedadvisor.com