Transactional Analysis Games People Play

Ego StatesParental

Adult

Child

“Do as I say!”

“I’ll be frank with you..”

“What shall I do?”

Ego States in Man

Strokes – the result of hunger

People ‘hunger’ for recognition

Stimulus Hunger

Position Hunger

Structure Hunger

Strokes

Recognition | Attention | Responsiveness

“Warm fuzzies” “Cold pricklies”

Positive Negative

Theories governing behaviour

Gene theory – I am made that way

Make me feel theory – You make me feel

You-owe me theory – If only you change

Subconscious theory – Suddenly you got hold of me and I could do nothing.

The fate theory – It was willed by Him

Types of Strokes

Conditional

Unconditional

Positive – “You’ve made a fantastic presentation!”

Negative – “That was the worst report I ever read.”

Positive – “You’re a nice guy!”

Negative – “I’ve never seen anyone as arrogant as you.”

Seek out ways to give more unconditional positive responses. Listen carefully to positive strokes from others.

Everyone occupies a preferred basic life position (BLP).

The Power of Scripts

“I won't amount to anything and I deserved to be locked up in a prison”

Life Scripts – Traps Abandonment

“I get desperate when someone I love moves away”

Mistrust“I’m angry about what people have done to me”

Emotional deprivation“I feel disconnected, even from people closest to me”

Dependence“I find everyday life overwhelming”

Life Scripts – Traps Vulnerability

“Something bad is about to happen”

Defectiveness“I’m inherently flawed”

Subjugation“If I don’t give in to others, they will reject me”

Failure“I don’t have any special talents”

How Scripts Shape Life

How Scripts Shape Life

‘Scripting’ your own life

Alfred Nobel

Helen Keller

Armstrong

Harbhajan

Eminem

Games People PlayGreeting

“Hello, how are you?”“I’m good, what about you?”

Meeting“Oh, so pleased to meet you!”

CornerDamned if you do, damned if you don’t

CamouflageIndirect hints – barely perceptible

“Wow, Bill lost 20 pounds. He looks great!”

Wooden Leg Eliciting sympathy – using excuses

“How can I be patient with kids? I am short-tempered!!”

Games People Play

Switch – reversal in roles/positionsThe victim-persecutor role reversal

Cross – disorientation between the two when switch happens

Payoff – person getting justification for inaction and attention

One life – that’s all we have. What do you want to do with yours?