Grief and Loss Issuesin

Elementary-Age Children

Chippewa Valley Schools

Information for Teachers

If children are old enough to love,

they are old enough to grieve.

At any given time, half of the children in your classroom may be affected by some kind of

loss.

Losses Children GrieveLosses Children Grieve

Death of someone significantIllness of an important personParental separation/divorceFamily moveParental addictionParental incarcerationLoss of a loved pet

Grieving in ChildhoodGrieving in Childhood

Grief responses can be acute or subtle and hard to observe.

Children tend to grieve sporadically, in unpredictable bursts.

Grief issues may re-emerge at later developmental stages.

Grieving is more complicated after a sudden or traumatic loss.

Common Grief ReactionsCommon Grief Reactionsin Childrenin Children

Sadness

Anger

Lowered self-esteem

Guilt

Fears

Insecurity

Denial

Relief

Behaviors You Might ObserveBehaviors You Might Observe

Acting out behaviorsAgitationWithdrawalPhysical complaints/fatigueRegression to younger behaviorsSeparation problems/ clingingPoor concentrationInconsistent school performanceDecreased work production

Each child’s grief experience is unique.

Children’s Perception of DeathChildren’s Perception of Death

Preschool Through 1Preschool Through 1stst Grade Grade

Death is not seen as finalDead thought of as ghostsMagical thinking

22ndnd Grade Through 5 Grade Through 5thth Grade Grade

Increased awareness that people die

View death as happening only to others

May feel they caused the death

Interested in the physical aspects of death

One in twenty children will have a parent die before s/he

graduates from high school.

Many more children will lose some other significant person

(sibling, other family member, or friend)

to death.

Gain InformationGain InformationAfter hearing about the loss:

Contact the familyGather accurate informationDetermine how the student is coping with the lossDiscuss what information should be shared with the

classAsk about funeral arrangements Offer to be of assistance

Provide a Supportive Provide a Supportive EnvironmentEnvironment

Prior to the child’s return to school, share factual information with the class– Answer students’ questions directly while

staying within their capacity to understand– Provide them with the opportunity to share

their feelings

Create an opportunity for students to reach out to their grieving classmate, e.g. condolence cards

Brainstorm with the class acceptable statements of sympathy

Provide a Supportive Provide a Supportive EnvironmentEnvironment

Support the Grieving ChildSupport the Grieving Child

Speak to the child privately to offer your supportListen. Allow the child to express his/her

feelings Reduce school work as neededBe watchful for events that may trigger more

intense feelings e.g. holidays, anniversary of death, etc.

Understand that grieving is a long process

Remember that the grieving child does not always look sad

Recognize that acting out behaviors may be a way of expressing distress

Support the Grieving ChildSupport the Grieving Child

Children may not remember what you

say, but they will never forget how you

make them feel.

Increasing numbers of children face significant and sometimes multiple losses.

Besides the death of a significant person, these

losses may include illness of a family member, parental

separation or divorce, family moves, etc.

When to be ConcernedWhen to be ConcernedBe concerned if a child:Evidences dramatic changeDisplays prolonged depression, anger, or

withdrawalExhibits dramatic decline in school work

for an extensive periodMakes suicidal statements

Alert parents, administrators, school social worker, counselor, and/or psychologist.

ResourcesResources

Your building social worker, counselor, or psychologist can provide you more information: – strategies for supporting the grieving child– classroom activities– referral information– resource materials for children and parents

ResourcesResources

Your building crisis team can assist in the management of an acute crisis situation.

Outside ResourceOutside Resource

SandCastlesHospices of Henry Ford Health System

Ongoing grief support program for children and their families who have experienced the death of a

significant person

Meets at Chippewa Valley High School Free of Charge

For more information contact: 313- 874-6881

As a teacher you have the opportunity to

touch children’s lives in a very special way.

Your actions can have a life-long impact.

This information has been provided by the

Chippewa Valley Schools

District Crisis Coordinating Team

whose mission is to support district staff and building crisis teams in crisis response efforts.