Down But Never Out

Bringing Change When Change Is Hard

Todd CharronTwitter: @toddcharron

Email: todd@toddcharron.com

Agile Coach, ImprovisorMentor: Lean Startup Machine Founder: Follow Your Fear Day

What is the meaning of life?

Do you have a philosophy of life?

Without a philosophy of life, we risk living a life that is less fulfilling than it could be

You can practice by yourself!

Stoicism is a philosophy of life

Philosophy is not religion

The pursuit of tranquility and living a virtuous life

Act in accordance with nature

Feel emotion but choose your response

Minimize negative emotions

1. Perception

2. Action

3. Will

Perception

Dichotomy of control

Things you can control

Things you cannot control

We cannot change the past

There is no value in being anxious about the future

Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all, - the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet.

- Seneca

Practice objectivity

See things as they are

We can control how we respond

Choose not to be harmed & you won’t feel harmed.Don’t feel harmed & you haven’t been.

Marcus Aurelius

We choose to be miserable when we can choose to be content

This is not awful. This is a chance to practice our response to awful things

Exercise:Write down a challenge/failure/obstacle you are facing

Pass it to everyone at the table and they add a positive perspective to it

Action

Respond rather than react

Reactions:Fear, frustration,confusion, helplessness, depression, anger

Respond:Patience, courage, humility, resourcefulness, reason, justice, creativity

Will

Accept things as they are

Not “be positive”, but be ceaselessly creative and opportunistic.

Not this is badbutI can make this good

- Ryan Holiday

See things for what they are.

Do what we can and endure & bear what we must

- Ryan Holiday

Antifragility

Anger

Anger as anti-joy

Anger is brief insanity - Seneca

Anger is a waste of time

As we are angered by others, they too are angered by us.We must go easy on each other

Perpetual anger is tragic. Life is too short to stay angry.

An angry person is a torment to those around them.

Why not become a person who is loved while alive and missed when gone? Anger is anti-joy, why be anti-joy when it is within your power to experience joy?

Other people

Human beings are rational thinking, reasoning creatures

We are all just trying to do our best

Annoying people

People act in accordance with their nature

(and systems that drive their behaviour)

Complainer culture

Seek sorrower:One who contrives to give himself vexation

- Samuel Johnson

Take personal responsibility for your unhappiness.

Re-frame or respond

Complaint sessions

Improve yourself before trying to improve those things external to you

All men die

Not all men die whiners

- Michael Sugrue

Reframing exercise:

Think of a time you were blocked.

How did you overcome it?

How did you grow as a result?

Being a change agent

Overcoming obstacles IS the job

Obstacles and challenges should not come as a surprise

Stoic JoyIt is enough to be happy that you did the right thing

Stoic Practices

Negative Visualization

Voluntary Discomfort

Cold Showers

10 (+1) Tips for the stoic change agent

1.

Choose a philosophy of life in order to live an intentional life

2.

Act in accordance with nature

(notice how we feel when we don’t)

3.

Be Virtuous

4.

Embrace the life you are living and not be jealous of the lives of others

5.

Understand what you can and cannot control

6.

Respond rather than react

7.

Internalize goals

8.

Replace judgement with curiosity

9.

Be a farmer planting seeds.

Some will grow, some will grow later, some not at all

10.

Celebrate when you demonstrate self control

11.

Remember, we have it in us to try

We don’t control the barriers or the people who put them there. But we control ourselves-and that is sufficient

- Ryan Holiday

So what will YOU do when change is hard?

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