Congratulations graduate!eleven reasons Why i Will never Hire You.

by Mark O’Toole - PR & content at HB Agency

CommenCement

over.

tHe real

World aWaits.

Bushy-tailed and excited, You Young graduates storm tHe

job boards.

Never mind the color of your parachute, some of you have no paraCHutes at all.

And thAt cAn leAd to a Hard landing.

Employers know that not all grads are created equal.

Sometimes we hire

people like you into

entry-level positions.

More often though, we don’t.

Because…

You are just not the right fit.

A more impressive candidate captured our attention.

Or yOu are simply a victim Of sOme Other randOm event Out Of yOur cOntrOl.

“I didn’t post that picture.”

But tOO many Of yOu whO had the skills and capaBilities tO make the cut Or get a secOnd interview

Blew it.

Your

dis

astr

ous

inte

rview

ing

skill

s

brou

ght Y

ou d

own.

why?

Is it you?

yOur family suppOrt system?

Your

scho

ol’s

care

er s

ervi

ces

staf

f?

whatever the reason,

there are consistent

themes as to why you

didn’t get the job.

This won’t be the first time you’ve heard these and it won’t be the last, but as your class flourishes shiny new resumes in front of prospective employers, here are the top reasons why I will never hire you.

Your resume is longer than that of a 25-Year professional.

1.

I appreciate your desire to showcase your classwork, high school accomplishments, extracurricular endeavors and your three marketing projects.

But I need to see clarity and definition in what you present.

Make it relevant, make it concise, make it focused.

“An overly

long resume

does not impress

me.”

(A ridiculously short resume is equally dangerous. Did you do anything besides attend class?)

You didn’t prepare for our interview.

You’re probably a better internet surfer than I am, so why didn’t you spend a few minutes gathering intelligence about me or my business?

You didn’t look at my website.

You failed to check me out on

LinkedIn or Twitter.

You didn’t learn my pet peeves:

make eye contact; learn to hold

a conversation; give thoughtful

answers to difficult questions.

XXX

(i’m not AlwAys concerned with your ActuAl Answer but rAther your composure And thinking process when Answering it).

questio

ns

3.

Look up questions to ask onLine.

Find 30 questions no one has ever asked me.

“questions grads should ask in an interview”

Show me how you gather information.

Do you want me to think I’m going to have to

do the work for you, or that you’ll show up prepared every day?

?

You Wrote a tHank You note, and only used it to thank me.

I also enjoyed our tIme together, so Instead of just thankIng me, add value.

Use yoUr note (email or note/card are all fine

– nothing is not) to show yoUr

passion for this job.

reflect upon what you learned in the interview.

Confirm why

you’re the candidate

of my dreams.

You dressed for failure.

my workplAce is cAsuAl,

at least most of the time. Many offices are

these days.

But you should not be for an interview.

Jeans, chinos, t-shirt

s, su

nd

ress

es a

nd o

ther

clo

thin

g

you may wear to a w

eekend

coo

kout

or

a nig

ht

club

(even a nice one

) won

’t cu

t it

.

I want to know what you’ll look like when I take you to see a client.

show me that you understand this.

WHat You Want

But when you tell Me that, you’re Basically saying, “please invest loads of tiMe and Money into Me, and MayBe it will help Me figure out that i want to do soMething else.”

convince

me

that y

ou’ve

wan

ted to

work

he

re yo

ur who

le life

.

your resuMe should

reinforce it.

Your follow-up note should hammer the point home.

I’m no

t looki

ng for

a jac

k-of-

all-tra

des. (I

f I we

re, th

e job

postin

g woul

d have

said s

o.)

i’m no

t looki

ng for

a jac

k-of-

all-tra

des. (i

f i we

re, th

e job

postin

g woul

d have

said s

o.)

Because I’m not really into candidates who won’t throw themselves 100% into the opportunity at hand.

7.yOu dOn’t get sOcial media (but think you do).

I don’t expect you to be an

expert In anythIng just gettIng out of

school, but your resume

claIms socIal medIa expertise.

Dumb Tweeter@dumbtweeter

Your eight tweets in the last six months are not signs of immersion. (And your regular use of #fuckinA isn’t effective.)

Your blank Pinterest Page is less than comPelling.

spelling tumblr with an “e” says something – but not the right thing.

dabble in social while at school for sure.

tell me you have exposure to social

networks.

Just don’t try to impress me with

“exPertise” that does not

exist Yet.

You

did’

nt

proofr

ead.

Didn’t

If you can’t eliminate bad grammar or misspellings from your resume or cover letter, how can I expect you to write an error-free

If you can’t eliminate bad grammar or misspellings from your resume or cover letter, how can I expect you to write an error-free report for a client?

You don’t HAVE A LINKEDIN PROFILE

lInkeDIn Is The PlAce To

showcase Your ProFessIonAl skIlls, even IF TheY Are nAscenT

Set it up right

(there are lots of tips online

to help) and give it some love.

10(or two or three).do an internship

WhIle ThIs Is More For Those

still in school than those

jusT ouT, noThIng MAkes You

more attractive to me than

knoWIng You’ve Been exPoseD

To A sIMIlAr Work envIronMenT.

Internships also help you decide if my job represents the right structure for you – saving us both time and agony if it turns out you just don’t like what we do.

I get 50-100 resumes each semester from new graduates. Those with internships sit well ahead of those without.

You laCked P

RO

FEs

sIO

NA

L cO

uR

TEs

Y!

You were two minutes late.

You looked away when you shook my hand

I InTroDuceD You To MY colleAgue AnD You didn’t even Ask her WhAT she Does.

WhY?WhY WoulD I WAnT To exPose You To MY clIenTs?

You AnD Your FAMIlY hAve InvesTeD vAsT AMounTs oF time and money into getting your dipLoma.

it’s a smaLL bit of extra effort to make sure you don’t ruin your chances in the interview.

I WIll hIre soMeone – I jusT Won’T hIre You.

1. make a right-sized resume – it’s a door-opener only, not your one and only chance to get an interview.

2. Interview prep makes you look like a rock star during our conversation.

3. Ask really good questions in the interview. It matters.

4. use your promptly sent thank you note to reveal even more awesome stuff about why you make sense for this job.

5. Dress up – it will make you feel better during our meeting.

6. Stay focused.

7. Social media is mainstream but don’t overplay it until you know where it fits, or doesn’t fit, in the job.

8. No typos!

9. LinkedIn matters – you become searchable, findable and professional.

10. Internships set you apart (and give you great stuff for bullet #1.)

11. Practice hand-shaking at home!

Job hunting is like a job unto itself.you will get it right, but you need to work at it.

Mark o’toole is managing director of PR & content at hb agency, a b2b marketing and communications firm

with global clients in clean tech, medical tech and high tech. despite the very true observations in the article

above, Mark has hired countless talented PR pros over the last 15 years. Reach Mark at motoole@hbagency

or on twitter @markrotoole.

design and layout courtesy of hb’s Matt Gustavsen & Christine tesseo.

to learn more about hb’s branding, marketing and public relations expertise, please visit www.hbagency.com.