Building Relationships: The Language of Mentoring

Nicola Englyst

John Perry January 2013

Programme

• Welcome

• What is mentoring and what makes a good mentor/mentee?

• The GROW model

• Lunch (approx. 12.30)

• Practical mentoring (restart at approx. 1)

• The benefits of mentoring

• Grant bodies and mentoring

What’s in a name?• Mentor

• Pastor

• Pastoral tutor

• Personal tutor

• Life coach

• Mentee

Skills discussed today are relevant to all!

•Off-line help by one person to another in making significant transitions in knowledge, work or thinking

Mentoring is more than ‘giving advice’- its about motivating and empowering the other person to identify and resolve their own issues and goals.

An informal and supportive relationship whereby a more experienced member of staff

undertakes to help a new member of staff to learn his/her job and

understand its context within the University.

•Concise Oxford Dictionary: an experienced person in an institution who trains and counsels new employees or students

Trusted advisor, friend, teacher,

wise person

What is mentoring or a mentor today?

A system of semi-structured guidance whereby one person shares their knowledge, skills and experience to assist others to progress their own lives and careers

All mentoring relationships are different!

What makes a good mentor?

Mentor checklist:

• Are you interested in helping others succeed? Even bypass you?

• Are you reliable, honest, trustworthy, confidential?

• Are you capable of active listening?

• Are you empathetic?

• Are you able to question someone sensitively whilst empowering them to explore their own issues?

• Can you pass on your knowledge and expertise, encouraging and helping

What makes a good mentee?

A good mentee…• Is honest

• Seizes the initiative

• Thinks about the questions they want to ask

• Is open to receiving advice

• Understands that the mentor can help them reach a solution but won’t dictate a solution to them- this might involve work by the mentee!

• Is prepared to act on any plans they make

• Comes on time!

Mentoring in Faculty of Medicine

• 4 types available:

– Long term mentoring

– One stop mentoring

– Mentoring workshops

– Peer mentoring

• Mentoring database

Choosing a mentor• Database on

https://www.som.soton.ac.uk/learn/postdoc/mentoring/

• Looking and asking around

• Introductory mentor scheme for postdoctoral researchers

Getting started….• Contact your mentor…by email, phone, face to face

• Don’t be put off if they say no- ask someone else!

• Arrange a good time and place to meet

• Sometimes, awkward beginnings

– Ideas for Successful Mentoring sheet on PDA site

– Practical exercises….GROW model

Bits ‘n’ bobs• Confidentiality.

• You may need to enlist specialist help.

• Keeping records (may be needed for grant bodies) e.g. what was discussed, agreed and objectives for next meeting.

• Long term mentoring relationships have a beginning, middle and often an end.

• You can have more than one mentor.

• You can be a mentor and a mentee!

• Tell us about your mentoring experiences.

John Perry• Principal Teaching Fellow in Healthcare

Communication in the School of Medicine. 

• His background and qualifications are in the areas of counselling, coaching and psychotherapy and he has a particular interest in stress and stress management.

• GROW model

Towards Solutions!

The GROW Model

G represents your GOALS – What do you want to achieve?

R represents your REALITY – What is happening right now?

O represents your OPTIONS – What could you do?

W represents your WILL – What WILL you do?

Wheel 1: Your life as it is now

Health & Wellbeing

Security

Learning / personal development

Friendship / Personal relationships

Choose a category

Home & Family

Fun & recreation

Career

www.cfel-uk.net

Wheel 2: Your life as you would like it to be

Health & Wellbeing

Security

Learning / personal development

Friendship / Personal relationships

Choose a category

Home & Family

Fun & recreation

Career

Wheel Of Life: Example

Health & Wellbeing

Security

Learning / personal development

Friendship / Personal relationships

Choose a category

Home & Family

Fun & recreation

Career

www.cfel-uk.net

Lunch time• Good chance to network!

• Good chance to suss out a mentor!

• Good chance to eat food!

• At 1.00, we’ll reconvene to put what you’ve learned today into practice….

MENTOR DATABASE AVAILABLE FOR SEARCHING

OVER LUNCH

Now it’s your turn!• Get into pairs (generally works best with people you

don’t know well!)

• 3 common scenarios- choose the one you like best!

• Common threads

• Take 5 mins to read through and think about the challenges noted in each scenario, then another 15 mins to role play

• You can start another scenario if time allows.

What was good?

What was a barrier to communication

Mentoring and funding bodies• Funding bodies like mentoring schemes!

• Wellcome Trust: What kind of support for fellows do you expect from the host institution?

• The host institution will be expected to provide you with appropriate facilities, infrastructure and space for the work to be undertaken as well as support and mentoring where appropriate.

• Wellcome Trust Senior Investigators Awards: have a strong training record supporting the development and mentoring of less experienced researchers.

MRC• In the MRC application form for fellowships the proposed Head(s) of

Department of the applicant is required to:

– commit to putting in place arrangements for the Fellow’s

mentoring in the event of an award being made, and

– provide brief details of what these arrangements are likely to be

(including what arrangements may already be in place in the

Research Organisation).

• Information on the effectiveness of mentoring arrangements must be

included in the final report on the Fellowship.

Mentees: What’s in it for you?

• Encourage and empower personal development.

• Help to achieve career goals

• Help identify and correct gaps in generic skills and knowledge.

• Increases confidence.

• Develops and maintains a broader perspective on career options and opportunities

• Access to a senior role model/ networking.

• Insight into University culture.

• Funding bodies are increasingly placing value on active mentoring schemes.

Mentors: What’s in it for you?• Recognised involvement in a programme of strategic

importance.

• New perspectives and insight into The Faculty.

• Potential for networking.

• Additional experience in staff management and development.

• Transferable skills development.

• Opportunity for self reflection, and personal satisfaction. Opportunity to give something back.

• Funding bodies increasingly value an active mentoring programme.

What’s in it for the Faculty?• Improving academic performance through staff development.

• Improving communication between individuals/groups/units.

• Reinforcing The Faculty’s commitment to learning and development.

• Creating a breeding ground for fresh ideas and innovations.

• Enhancing the Faculty’s reputation through improved career destinations of its research staff.

• Being at the forefront on mentoring in the UK- great for grant applications.

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