2011 GEMS LEADERS’ CONFERENCE

LOVE is INTENTIONAL !

Verbal complimentsor

Words of appreciationare

powerful communicatorsof

LOVE

If a child’s primary love language is words of affirmation,

ournegative, critical, demeaning

wordsstrike terror

in their psyche.

Love is kind.

• The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important:

• “A soft answer turns away anger.”

• Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs.

• How many of us mess up a new day with yesterday?

• The best thing we can do with failures of the past is to let them be history.• We can choose to live today free

from the failures of yesterday.• Forgiveness is not a feeling – it is

a commitment.

For some,

love is quality time,

which focuses on what we are

Hearing

and

Doing -

Requiring us to:• Listen sympathetically,and to• Ask questions with a genuine

desire to understand the person’s thoughts, feelings and desires.

We are far more efficient at thinking & speaking than listening.Listening tools:•Maintain eye contact,•Don’t listen and do something else at the same time,•Observe body language,•Refuse to interrupt.

As a child gets older and develops

new interests,

you must enter into those

interests,

if you want to meet their needs for

quality time.

• Be in touch with your own

feelings.

If you want to learn quality

conversation, -

• begin by noting the emotions you

feel away from home:

EVENT• Tailgater• Queue jumper• Uncontrolled child• Late person

FEELINGS• ?• ?• ?• ?

Essential ingredients for quality activities:1.At least some want to do it,2.Others are willing,3.All of you know why you are doing it – to express love by doing together.

Relationship• Leader to leader• Leader to girl• Girl to girl• Leader to

parents

Activity• ?• ?• ?• ?

• Gifts are visual symbols of love

and include -

• The gift of self or the gift of our

presence.

Acts of service require:• thought,• planning,• time,• effort, and• energy.

Jesus said:“serve one another in love”

• Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.• Love is a choice and cannot be

coerced.

• Wise parents in any culture are touching parents.• Jesus called the little children to

come to him.• What are some appropriate ways

of touching in our culture?• A high five? Pat on the head? Hug

in a crisis?

LOVE IS A CHOICE