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T Sus oft Inil
MUL
RUDb
!DRES SH
T AGN RSS
NDN
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Cp © Oc P L
The right of Octagon Press Ltd., to identified as the owners of this workhas been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act 1988
A g vg g
No part of this publication may reproduced or transmitted in any rm or by anymeans, eectronc, mechanica or photographic, by recording or any inrmationstorage or retrieval sstem or method now known or to be invented or adapted,
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joua, magazine, newspaper or broadcast
Requests r permission to reprnt, reproduce, etc, to:Permissions Department, he Octagon Press Ltd,
PO Box 227, London N6 4EW, Engand
ISBN 0 8630 40 3
Firt ublihed 973Firt mpreion in ti edition 1985
Reprnted 989Reprinted 993
eprned 999
Prnted n Great Britain byRedwood Books rowbridge Wtshire
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Radio 3
Where there's a wll . 4
I mght do you a favour 5
Needs 6
The end of the world 8
A bite 9
Gossip IO
Satised 11
Costly 12
Prolems of lonelness 13
Arabic scholar 14
The problems of delay 15
Te oete It takes one to know oe 17
Get the facts straight 18
Cow wth calf 19
Let's have t evey day 20
The value of the man 21
Clearing the matter up 22
Hold that wolf 23
Contents
Mracles have detals 24
The water shortage 25
Wfe and secetary 26
ow to keep t gong 27
ooking 28
Must be one of them 29
Mstake detty 30
Whats left 31
The true and te false 32
First tme 33
Tred to fool hm 34
Dveso 35
e as 3ow to get out of touble 37
What could become of what 38
Large and small 39
atc out! 40
They don't wok 41
Stop-Go 42
Temperatures 43
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Time 4
Feedback 45Psychoogy 46
When to do what 4 7
The speed-traveller 48
It depends how you
loo at it 49
arning 50
Don't jump to concusions 5
Smooth trees 52
Two for one 53
Myself 54
One mans meat 55
Saute 56
The cock 57
Not a good pupil 58
Ethoogical reection 59Quality and quantity 60
Socia conscience 6
Bath song 62
Wife, thief and donkey 63
How much? 64
The election meeting 65
hts wh the rcit
it 66
A reason for everything 67
What you hadn't thought
of. . . 68
Motive power 69
The right requirements 70
Camel fodder 7
Tyranny of the majority 72
A mater of anguage 73Too ae 74
Memory 75
A hundred years 76
ine donkeys 77
I ony hope I'm ill 78
The iness of my wife 79
Donkey lost 80
Freakish 8
The Company's time 82
Grey and white 83
Esoteric 84
Automation 85
Names 86
The chak 87
Lost propery 88So ho 89
Is it me? 90
Ambition 9
Copyist 92
No relative 93
Service 94
Shoes 95
Two halves 96
Probem of communication 97
The trip 98
The same strength 99
Second thoughts
How to catch Nasrudin
The wil of Alah 02
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Acdms
a aud tuat touout twold av lpd th ambl of tal T cotbuto ha cludd ta
lato, tap-cod, copa vaat, ct tov mmat commut ad lta ac
wish to thank all of them. Representatives are thellow Abdl-Kam Suhavd, Kha Abdul Kam
Kha, Gt Evald Ado, Su Awa Al Sa,Sada M Al Hua Kha, B, Do ImalBaa, S Edw Capma-Adw, M K Chaudu,Hla Edwad, Sk Fakhudd alAmud, ShafFaris el-Helebi, Feroz Abdali, Leon Flamholc, HazratHaz Abdulla, Ba Ildm, Sad Ikada, Jam ElAz, Edwad P. Lumd, Davd ad, Ya M a
ad D Zk l-Maa
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Sayig of Mulla Nasrudi
If I survive this life without dying, I'll be surprised.
I
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Sy of sd
f kw wa two ad two w
would a Fou!
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Radio
W n Mull Nruin rriv at te immigrin barrir in Lnn, t cr incr k:
Wr r y m?'Nruin iGrrrr T Et.'m?'
Mull, , Nrrrrgrruin!'Hv yu n ipimnt in yur pc?'W- n!'Tn wy u tlk like tt?'Pip-pip-pip I grr lernt it m Engli B !'
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Wh h's will . . .
ull, Mull, my n written m teAbe Lerning t y tt e cmpletely nie i tuie!'
nle yurel, mm, wit te tugt tt Gwill n ubt en im mre'
4
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I might do you fvour
uin w ennile, but i nt wnt iien Alm t knw it UntuntelAlm ke im cnge gl cin
It i te w,' i Nuin.Hw wn, Mull?'S wn tt it i wt le tn te te f excnge.
T mene ele.'
N, I tut u Give me jut wt u tink it iwt.'
Well,' i te Mull, it eem t me t be wt little tt u wul ve t me meting t tke it u n.'
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Needs
t Mull mrg m t mqu trprr, bggr itting in t trt icitlm T llwing cnvrtin nu
Mull Ar u xtrvgnt?'Bggr Y, Mull'Mull D u lik iting run rinking c n
mking?'
Bggr Y'Mull I upp u lik t g t t bt vr ?'Bggr Y'Mull � An mb mu url, vn, b rinking
wit ur in?'Bggr Y, I lik ll t ting'
Tut, tut,' i t Mull, n gv im gl pic
A w rd rtr n, ntr bggr w vr-r ti cnvrtin bgg r lm imprtuntlMull Ar u xtrvgnt?'Bggr N, Mull'Mull D u lik itting run rinking c n
mking?'Bggr N'ua u u t g t vr d'Bggr N'Mull An mb mu url vn, b rinking
wit ur in?'
Bggr N, I wnt nl t liv mgrl n t pr'rupn t Mull gv im mll cppr cinBut ' ild t ggr, u giv m, n
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cnmic n piu mn, pnny, wn yu giv ttxtrvgnt w vrign?
rpi t Mu, i n r grtr tnyur'
This tale is reprduced b curtes f Si Edwi Chapm-drews
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Th e end of th e world
n will t n t wrl cm, Mull?'Wic n t wl?'Wll, w mny r tr?'
Tw, t Grtr n t Lr I my wi i, tti t Lr En t Wrl But i i tt i tGrtr En t Wrl'
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A bie
aud vtd a t t o ad om:
oud ou l a o a t od avd t ulla a ta a lall
ot mo ta a molAt that momt a ba lood tou t do
T t outd:
Go awa o I'll ba ou c!Bot ad aud to t ba o awa qucl
I ca ttf tat oc a ma o txaat! '
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Gossip
'Mulla, your wife is a terrible gossi She visitseveryone in town and gossips all the time.'
I don't believe that - otherwise she
would surely have droped in on me om time to time and
gossied - and she has never done that !'
IO
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Sted
aruin mv int a nw uT ptman ca an aiI p tat yu ar ati wit t mai
ivri'Mr tan ati' ai Naruin an in ct m
tmrrw yu may ub my rr'
II
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y
ruin pn bt wit ign bv it:TWO QUESTIONS ON ANY SJECT
ANSWERED FOR £5
A mn w tw vry urgnt qutin n vri mny, ying:
iv pun i rtr xpniv r tw qutin,
int t?Y, i Nruin, n t nxt qutin, pl?
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Pbems neiness
Smeting igtene Mull Nruin e wwlking wn r He trew imelf int itcn ten begn t tink tt e been igten
t etAftr time e becme ver cl n ungr. He wlk
me n tl i wife te new, n went bck t iitc.
Hi wife, bbing bitterl, went t te neigbur rcmrt M ubn i e, ling in itc'
Hw u knw?'Tere w nb t e im, t cme n
tell me imelf, r er'
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Th pbms
ur-ngin ircr w in rub, n cpin vic cm rug upkr
On ur ngin i uy, bu r i nngr It wi mn w wi b v minut ,ying n ny r ngin
Sm pngr wr i , bu Mu, w w mng , pk cmringy
iv minu n mk muc irnc, inS vryn cm wn
Sn rwr, wvr, y r cpinvic gin
Anr ngin i muncining W cn mng ntw ngin, bu i wi mn w wi b n ur in rriving
Sm pngr m uny, bu Mugin r mW i n ur, r ? I i br n ging n
nky-bck T pngr ccp i pipy,n in ir gin
Hry nr l ur p br y rt pi vic gin
I f ngn u rr W b n ur in rriving urinin
Mul Nruin iL u p ngin n brk wn, r
w b up r y
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The ese
e ete wa athe uie t ee uch anunlikel gue a Naruin aling a b.I'll give u a chance,' he ai, althugh u
n't lk the te wh cul ell tee Take thi axe anch wn a man tee a u can m that lantatin'
Ate thee a Nauin ete t him.Hw man tee have u elle?'
All the tee in the lantatin.'The ete lke, an ue enugh thee wee n teelet N auin ha ne a much wk a wul beeecte m thit men.
But whee i u lean t ch tee at that ate?'In the Sahaa eet.'But thee aen't an tee in the Sahaa!'
N thee aen't
ai Nauin.
al: I u can ell tee, u can ell tee.
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I akes ne knw ne
rtl jker hllened Nrudn n thetehue:
Pele u re ver lever. But I et u hundred ld ece u cnt l me!
I cn, jut wt r me, d Nrudn, nd wlked ut.Three hur lter, the mn w tll wtn r Nrudn
nd h trk. Fnll he cneded tht he hd een led.
He went t the Mull' hue nd ut f ld h rfet thruh the wndw.Nrudn w ln n h ed, lnnn h trk. He
herd the chnk f cn, und the nd cunted theld.
Gd, he d t h wfe, knd detn h ent memethn t m et wth f I le. Nw ll I hve t d
t thnk ut me trtem t l the ker wh , ndt mtentl, wtn me n the tehue.
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Ge he cs sih
gui w king prty run t BriiMuum Ti rcpgu i v unyr l'
A br gur wi urbn pp rwrYu r mikn,' i Nruin, r i i v
un n r yr 'Evryn w impr, n gui w n p
Ty p in ntr rmTi v', i gui, i w un v unryr '
Tw un v unr n r,' innNruin
Nw k r,' i gui, w cn yu ing prciy? n' cr i yu cm m
Et, pp u n' knw ing lik t'Simpl,' i Nruin w r r yr gT im yu i v w w un v unryr '
Mr ' r n yu ink
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Cw wih ca
Mulla wt to makt to ll ow, butobod watd to bu
A bou am alo ad ad:Lt m t, ou do t all woI mut la t at, thouht t MullaFtla ow, alf v mot! lld t
bou I xt to o tm t amal wa old
avd om, aud ud tat a ouma ad alld to qu about ma daut
All t Mulla dd wa to t out wl aqud kll wa amazd b t pd at w t uto udom t ou
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s hv i v
ruin r in vig in h mi F w pr n him m i, hre w inging n ncing in h
, ppl k him in hir hm n r himik king
I ny ur vilg w ik thi!' i h MuNby giv nyhing wy r '
Bu Mu,' i h vigr, hi i pci ccin,n nnu y 'Thn I cn mk my wn cnribuin in h
i,' i Nruin A yu hv (n w cn iin my vig w) i iniu nnu e ik hi y'
20
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The ve he mn
u wn?' i e king Nruin,w mnge wi me icul gen uience
A millin gl piece,' i e Mullul u n mke i le?' ke e urprie king.O, e, I cul mke i ve piece.'Tere i rer ipri beween e w um,
urel?'Ye Te millin gl piece i w re wr; e
ve i w m wr.'
21
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Ca h ma p
og ule e ro beween wo oue.Ec neigbour clime e oer oulcler i up.
Nruin w in cour wen e mer cme bere eummry juge.
Ti juge reene Nruin' climing o be njuicor in common lw. Te ce w icul, o e
ecie o ke Nruin own peg or woI will bie by your eciion, Mull Nruin,' e i,
ince i i icul ce. You ve e nl wor.'My eciion', e Mull immeiely nwere, i
ince i i r e juiciry o cler up mer in ipue oul clen i up.'
22
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d h
aruin an a ici wnt int a n t catca wf-cub.
Naruin wnt n rt an un a rcan fu-grwn wf wic attack im Tr wa atrrib gt.
In t mi f t ncuntr, t ici cri ut:St king ik tat, I'm af cvr wit art!'
Y,' ga t Mua, an if I t wat I'm ing,t tr af f yu wi b cv a w.'
23
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Maces have deais
0ne da Narudn ut a ccken t rat n en,and went ut r a tme.
A lcal wag ubttuted a le ccken.Wen Narudn came back e und te ue ur
runded b llagerNaruin,' te cre, Akram a erfrmed a mracle.
He a brugt ur ratng brd back t lfe.'
Te Mulla ened te en dr, lked n, and tenturne t ce te crwd.
Mracle are all er well, but tere are certan matterf detal. D u tink tat ur wer t wrk wnder,wc I eel acknwlege n te eience bere me,ge u te rigt t teft? Yu ae ane m pceand alt. W wll a r te rewd wated? Wrt f
al, u ae caued m ert n rearng te wl tdaear.'
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The wae shae
hee a a eiou ate hotage in the MidlandDue to lack of ain, the lake hich ulied acetain city' eevoi ee lo
The ouncil advetied a ate-divineaudin, ho a oking in a neaby ctoy,
volunteeed to helHe tiulated that he ould have to ok at hi ate
oducing on Mondayhen the day came, intead of taking a diviningod,Mulla audin, uounded by a cod of cuiouectato, took o hi hit, called a tub and omeate, and tated to ah the hit
Evey no and then he looked at the ky.Someone oteted:
hat ha ahing you hit got to do ith ndingate the city?'Patience,' aid audin, it i not the ahing that
doe it Evey ol kno that it i jut hen you hang theclothe out to d that the ain come elting don'
25
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Wi n sc
y v n intrting cutm in Engln,' iNruin, n it i n tt I wul lik t cpy'
Wt i tt'Buinmn tk tir crtri t Pri n prtn
tt ty r tir wiv'But yu vn't gt crtry!'I v tugt tt. All I v t i t tk my wi
t Pri n y tt i my crtry'
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p i in
u Nruin u t tn in t trt nmrkty t b pint ut n iit
N mttr w ftn pp r im r n m cin wy c t mr piec.
On y kiny mn i t imMu yu u tk t bir cin. Tn yu wil
v mr mny n pp wi n nr b b t mk
uintck f yu.'Tt mit b tru' i Nruin but if I wy tk
t rr pp wi tp rin m mney t prvtt I m mr iitic tn tey r Tn I wu vn mny t '
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Ck
ulla Narui mae aueati meatballa l them at a tall i the treet, with ai beie him icribe : EALLy WAN O
BE A SEN.
After a time the ele f the tw cul t ta theiht r mell f Narui a hi meatball. S themae a cllecti
G awa a tu, Narui, r heae ake Herei the me r it, ai their rereetatie; a, b thewa, what u wat t tu?
ker ai Mulla Narui
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Must be one of them
There were twin brothers in Nasrudin's village,and one day e was told that one was dead.
Seeing one of them in the street, te Mulla
rushed up to him:
Which one of you was it that died?'
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Misaen ideni
lla Naudin wa ve ill and evenetugt tat e wa ging t dieHi wife deed in muning clte and
tated t wee and wailMulla Naudin alne wa unetubedMulla' aked ne f i dicile w i it tat u
can ce deat wit uc calm evn lauging m time t
time wile we w ae nt ging t die ae in tment letu leave ?Qite imle' aid Naudin. A I lie ee lking at
te lt f u I a t melf "Te all lk teibletat I am almt ue te Angel f Deat will mitake ateat ne f tem i e wen e cme viiting andeave ld Naudin ee a wile lnge .. "'
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Wha's le
M ull udin went t dnke mketAe u in te mket dnke?
mecnt ked imYe id udint but ne f tee emkbl ndme bet?Jut minute id te Mull I wnt u t w me
te t dnke u ve
Te e te wtVe well ten Ill tke te et
3 1
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n s
he ua as hrs as he aked on he seashore,and he sooped don o ake a drnk The aerased horre, and he rushed o he vae e,
a oo e aaQk, ve e a pher o aer he asped ou o a
oan ho as dran soe., ua, are ou hrs?
es I u rs I have o sho an imposto ha reaaer ke !
3 2
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Fs ime
Th a a d o a o ho hkd ho had a m o ho paadd
h o ha ah od hoo o o dh h oom aod h ho h o a dd P hadh h o
h Dk o Bakh .
h a a o o odo:B m h ad a ho ha ha dda al
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ied him
asrudn as a a oa ae. e had eenshoun un ha-e, and e hrs.I on o e a drnk o aer, he od hs
end.And one r e, sad he end.In a e nues Nasrudn ae ak.I red o have a drnk o aer r ou, u I und,
aer had had on drnk, ha ou ere no hrsaer a.
ora: I ou rea an a drnk o aer, drnk ourse.
3 4
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Divrsin
sd s m sd sps m d
A m s m d Nsd d sd:
'I m z m pp sd v s sd Nsdh s s?
N h s s s N m d
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T m
0ne da Nasrudn as akn o on hen he5a soe oods he road
I onder h peope don o ha a as ashoru o he on he used e deded o r
ala aross hs o en no a arsh and hs shoeae o and as suked under
A rh he sad o he ud 'I kno h no e
e ak shoeThe ud sad nohnSo he ulla reraed hs seps o he road alked no
on and hen en ak o he mud arsh arsh hesad I have ven ak he soen e and eor o heshoru: no ve e ak slpper
No anser so he reahed no he ud and aer a rea
srule he und hs shoeThs ud s ovous deerned o ake eeronepa r hs sakes Bu ahouh he s he keeper o hepul onsene sad he ula aoud he s a hporeere s shoe rh enouh; u he ud has no onaken neres akn e srule so uh he hasdred he shoe as el
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How to get out of rouble
man had llen between the rails in an Underground station when Nasrudin came along oneafternoon. People were crowding around, all
trying to get him out bere a train ran him over.They were shouting, 'Give me your hand! But the man
would not reach up.The Mulla elbowed his way through the crowd and leant
over to the man. 'Friend, he said, 'what is your profession?'I am an income-tax inspector, gasped the man.'In that case, said asrudin 'k my hand! The man
immediately grasped the Mullas hand and was hauled tosafety.
Nasrdin turned to the openmouthed audience. 'Neverask a tax man to you anything, you ols, he said, and
walked away.
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Wha coud ecome wha
Hakim went to a restaurant and ordered boiledeggs
The crafty proprietor gae him a bill e siler pieces.
Hakim protesed that this was r oo much.'If I had kept those eggs and _the hen had hatchd m
they would hae become chickens said the esaua
man 'and their progeny and heirs and theis would haeproduced millions of eggs worth much more than ecoins. You hae had your eggs cheap.
The local judge was Nasudin and Hakim took hicomplaint to him. The esaurant ma had o go algtoo to defend his case.
Nasudin a hat time head his cases a home becu
he said tha 'justice always appeas in li.When he had head the to arguments Nasudin ksome corn and boiled it. Then he let i cool a lile andplanted it spoonl by spoonl in his gaden.
'Whateer ae you doing asked the wo.'Planting corn so that it will multiply said Nasud.'Since when could something which had been bild
multpl le tat ust out e esauan owne.'That is the judgment of this cou said Nsud.
'Good day to you boh.
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Large and sa
Br Mulla Nasrudin bcam a Su, h usd tthink just lik thr ppl.
H wnt t pra r smthing h vr muchwantd in th Grat Msqu. But thr was n rsult vnthugh h wnt thr vr da r mnths
Whn h ndd his nds t anthr man, th thrsaid:
'Wh d u nt tr praing in th f ShikhAhan? It is an ratr, lik a small msqu, attachd t thSus hus
Th Mulla wnt thr and trid again.Th vr nxt da his prar was answrdNasrudin wnt t th Grat Msqu Standing utsid
h addrssd it with ths wrds
'Fr sham! T think that a bab msqult cald a culd d what a grwnup lik u cannt
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Wch !
woder what ca do Nardi aked hi iedWali. eople thik rde whe ph arrow ehid the hoti id or ack
No real diclt aot that aid Wali he Elihare cltred ad the dot like rohe that all
he two et aai a few week later Wali aidHow are o etti o with our arrow
or adice wa o ood tried a it of cltre tpeople till thik cltiatedWhat r did or cltiated ehaior taketead of hoti "id or ack elled at
the top of oice o that thed e re to hear"R! he ot ite aoed
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They don't work
n ngnr was xng a bll osd a hosMlla Nasrdn cam by, sod and askd
'Wha s h hng?'Fr alarm.'v sn hm brhy don work, sad h MllaWha do yo man?'Th bll rngs all rgh, b h r brns s h sam
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Sp-G
One evening Nasrudin was stopped by a policeman'This is a smmons r driving through a ''Stoplight.
The la saidWhen I go into cort I shall ask r it to be balanced
against a te times I have stopped at the "Go light andnever been credited r it
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mps
rin w prciing cA in pn in i f
nigC nc, v fvrW yr prr b 150 gr n n , i M, y n r
brig
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arin was arging with a man who knew rmore aot everthing than he i n itseeme he col alo match ever one of the
lla accomplihment.Finall the challenger ai :arin. Let have a contet to ecie who i etter
at everthing. Yo propoe omething. o matter what it
i ll garantee to o it in half the time.ccepte ai arin. n ntil it is ecie hee witnee here well e coniere evenl matched.Here i m choice well ee after a thosand ear of mlifetime whether o have age onl ve hnre ear.
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c
in w n fing vry w. H cin c
n pgiv' i h phyicinI wn cn pinin' i NinAn pin' i h cn cSn nh c' i h MMg i h ny nw in c ik hi' i h
hi chNw w hv h pcipin' i h M
hi f c hi f pg n n-hi f mg Th h c hing p nicy'
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Psychology
Mulla Nasrudin went to see a psychiatrist. Hesaid:
'My trouble is that I cant remember
aything
'When did this start? asked the doctor.
'When did what start said Nasrudin
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When h
M ulla Naruin n iappar hik r hr wk
Whn h a bak h wa all in hiplr' .
Whr hav u bn Naruin u an' vanih rwk n n wihu priin.'
'I wa nl llwing ur inruin'
Explain urlf''I wn in ur ak r a hlia u wrn'
hr bu I aw ni n ur k - "no IT NOW" -
an I id'
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The speed-traveller
asrudin married a widow.Five days aterwards she gave birth to ason
The Mulla went out at once and started to buy schlequipment.
People asked'Why are you buying all these things?
Nasrudin said:'I my boy has accomplished a ninemonth journey inve days he will be ready r school any day now.
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I dpnds h y k a i
T ottn aon on h donkey a Nadn watyn to eat oe bey-o Bt each tehe ted o epty ome ot o the ba nto h
oth the wnd bew t awayA pan e caed ot:What ae yo don aAt th ate' ad Nadn 'I a not don anythn at
a'
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Wning
adin enered he Land of FooO peope' he cried in nd evi arehaef!'
He did he ame hing every day r ome weekOne day a he wa abo o ar hi ecre he aw a
grop of Foonder ding wih ded armWha are yo doing'
We have j decided wha o do abo a hi in ndevi yo have been aking abo a he ime'So yo have decided hn i'No we have decided o hn
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Dn't jmp t cnclsins
thogh he w ppod to be wie nd hon, Nrdin w cced o being otiiterte
One d the rer o hi contr decided to pt thi tothe t
Write oething r e, Nrdin, id heI wod wiing do o, b I hve tkn n oth never
to write o ch inge ettr gin, id NrdinWe, write oething in he w in which o ed towrite bere o dcded not to write, o tht I cn ee whtit w ike
I cnnot do tht, ece ever tie o rte oethngor wrting chnge ight throgh prctc I I wrotenow, it wod be oething written r now
Then bring e n xpe o hi wriing, none whoh one, ordered he rerSoon broght erribe crw ht the M hd
once written to hiI thi or writing? ked the onrchNo, id Nrdin Not on doe writing chnge
wih tie, bt o re now howing piece o wrtingdone e o deontre o oeone ho he hod
nt wrte
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Smooh ees
asrudin ca a sa twn wssqu cud nt ard a inart
Wn saw is rst inart t zzinwas wakin arund t sa patfr nar t tp caint it t prayr at t ur pints f t cpass.
Nasrudin cad upBr yu t trappd in tat pcuiar psitin yu
sud av ad sur tt t tr was nt s sttat yu cud nt ci dwn.'
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o o one
' w h ae ou dain ou ie toad themaket-pace ike that ua?
hae ut had a iiant idea She i ea od toda and popoe to exchane he to tenteaod
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Myself
Amonk said to Nasrudin:
I am so detached that I never think of myself,
only of others.'
Nasrudin answered
I am so objective that I can look at myself a if I were
anothe person; so I can aord to think of myself'
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One mns me
rn c crnv n rrb , Arb fncyr rpp rbbn
M,' n w w wng r , yk f y v bn bn p!'
v, 'B pp n' b r p r wrng fncy
r!'Hw cn y xpln r w y n r, lkng r Arb b p'
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Sae
din w ping tog t Lnd ofFoo on dy on donky-k. On t od pd two o oti podding ong
on foot. Good monng d t . wond y pok to m nd not to yo on of
th o id to t ot.o idiot it tt pok to not yo!
Soon ty w ing on t gond Bt tn ittk thm ot t on tt ty od n Ndinnd k im to tt t qtion. Ty mpd p ndmpd ft hm.
Wn ty ny gt im p ty otd togt:
Wi of w yo ying "Good moning toT id:T gt of t two foo!Tt dnity ! id t t foo.Nonn it oioy ! id t ot.Ndin ft tm tgging n t dt.
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Th cc
he Mllas lok was alwas wrongCant o do something aot that lokMlla ? someone asked him
What?Well it is never right Anthing wold e an improve
ment on thatThe Mlla hit it with a hammer t stopped
Yo are right o know he said this reall is animprovement did not mean literall nthing. How an it e etter
now than it was ere?Well o see ere stopped it it was never right
Now it is right twie a da isnt it?
Moral t is etter to e right sometimes than never to eright at all
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N ppi
O ne da ua asrudn und a tortose He tedt to hs et and ontnued hs ork n the eds.The tortose startd to strugge. The ua
ed t up and asked:hat's the matter don't ou ant to earn ho to
pough'
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Eic eecin
w hy Mulla don't you spend some tmepractsn hher rms of thouht n orderto mproe yourself?'
For the same reason that lons don't catch sh'Oh you mean that you are not equpped r t?'No only mean that haen't ot around to t yet'
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Qi n qni
asrud as tak a doke-load of raesto marketGrous of small hldre ket e
raes ut he ol ae them a er small hadful eah.You are mea asrud!' the shouted.ot at all' sad the ulla I am do ths to llustrate
the slless of hldre. All these raes taste the same.Oe ou hae had some ou ko hat all the rest arelke. So t does't matter hether ou hae ma or just afe.'
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Scia cnscience
S omeone told Mulla Nasrudin that he should be asconcerned about the were of others as he wasabout his own
Accordingly, he next tie he saloe a outhl ofhot soup, he rushed ou into the village stree, crying
'Beware, beware, my stomach is on re!
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Bh sn
coustics in Nsrudin's btroo wr unusuy ttringOn dy, cptivtd by t buty of is voic,
tougtWy soud not sr tis digt wit otr Tru
Bivrs H rusd to t top of t nrst inrt nd strtd
to c t orning pryr.Soon soutd up to i:diot! Not ony is it not t ti r pryr, but your
voic is trrib! 's,' sid Nsrudin sdy, w wi v to wit unti
soon buids bt up r br ty wi pprcit'
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Wife, thief and donkey
he Mulla was ied of feeding his donkey. Heasked his wife o do i bu she esed and i allended wih a disue in which hey decided ha
whoeve soke s would feed he donkey.The Mulla sa down soically in a cone. His wife was
soon boed and wen o visi he neighbous. As sueime aoached she sen a boy wih a bowl of sou f he
Mulla.In he meanime a ief boke ino he silen Nasudinhousehold. He sole eveyhing he could see. As he Mullawas siing immobile and seechless he even ook he haom his head. Then e lef.
holy afewads he boy wih he sou aived.Nasudin ied o elain wi gesues a a hief ad
been hee bu all he boy could see was ha he eoining agiaedly a is head om wich he ha adbeen emved
Taking he gesue a an ode he boy oued he souon he Mullas ead and wen back o eo he sangecicumsances o he Mullas wife.
he huied home eeing all he doos oen and hecupboards empty, she started to curse Nasrudin.
Nasudin said:Now go and feed e doney and loo well a wa you
have achieved hough you s�ubbonness.
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Hw much?
asud had saed a ot o moeSomeoe asked hm to o to a maequiaade.
tads he s ked ho he ked tIts a omete sd!hThe sho ou the ome ad the t to sell ou
the othes !
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The eecion meeing
I t was bere the elections The town had invitedall the candidates to address the citizens in thecity hall
Nasrudin was invited as an exotic local character toentertain
When all three candidates had spoken the Mullamounted the platrm and said
I have come here to oer you my own special recipeMae a note of this and try it on yourselves.He went on to say that certain uantities of honey
garlic and sh were to be boiled together and then eaten.Quite a number of people tried the recipe.The taste was horrible. Several of them stormed
Nasrudins house wanting to know what he meant bysuch a trick.
Well said Mulla Nasrudin I didnt say that I liked itin ct I had not tried it on myself But it seemed such agood idea to me I wanted to see whether it would workThats what election candidates do isnt it?
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That's why they appreciate it
'N
ever give people anything they ask r untilat least a day has passed! said the Mulla.
'Why not, Nasrudin?'
'Experience shows that they only appreciate something
when they have had the opportunity of doubting whether
they will get it or not.
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A sn vhin
asrudin, starvin with huner went to aaf and started to his mouth with od,usin oth hands
His neihour was assin, and stoedWh eat with two hands, ua Beause I havent ot three
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ha you hadn' hough of . . .
I someone doesnt say somethng to entetan meshouted a tyanncal and eete kng 'Ill cut othe heads o eveyone at cout.
Mulla Nasudn mmedately steed wad'Majesty dont cut o my head Ill do somethng'And what can you do?'I can teach a donkey to ead and wte
The kng sad :'Youd bette do t o I ay you alve'Ill do t sad Nasudn 'but t wll take e ten yeas'Vey well sad the kng 'you can have ten yeasWhen the cout was ove the day the gandees
cowded aound Nasudn'Mulla they sad 'can you eay teach a donkey to ead
and wte?'No sad Nasudn'Then sad the wsest coute 'you have ony bought
a decades tenson and anety you wl suey be doneto death Oh what ly to ee ten yeas sueng andcontemlaton o death to a uck ash o the headsmansae
'You have overlooked just one thing said the Mulla.'The Kng s seventyve yeas old and I am eghty. ongbee the tme s u othe elements wll have enteed thestoy
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Motive power
asudins little boy had been leaning aoutbooks at schoolHe came home one day and said:
Fathe, could I have an encyclopedia to take o school?o you cannot'But lots of the othe childen have got them'I dont cae about that. You just go on the tain, like
me and most othe people.
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Th ih qimns
S oon askd th uaIs t possb r a hundrdarod an to haa hd
Ys, h sad, prodn that h has an aop,sa, n th tnts or thrts
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Camel fodder
I aaad ua asrud as s aeaouse e a sraer aked ad sa doesde m.
Te eomer sad s a ma oer ere so s ear ouBeause I ae us arred om s ome o ad od
m a a s er ame dder as os a re.
I s erre o e a earer o su ds sad esraerI s aso eres o e e ma o sor e
m e ood es sad asrud. You see s amesae ded o a aue so e o eed e dder aera.
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Tyranny of the majority
t oe ot s e te etre ouato o sae ad ad eou o te easatres adosos o ua asrud.
e a et to te mastrate ad he ae a ru:asrud te o te eoe I ae to deare
tat ou must eae te aeAre te uamous asked te uaYes I am aad so.e I reuse to o ere are et o tem ad
o oe o me I te do't ke te ae as t s tea eae ad ud aoter oe But I a se dduao a I ee start to ud oe sma ouse r mseeseere
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A m
rudn n o f hd by h GrndL of Tbou y no kno our cuo, h
nrprr od h, nd o u you h hGrnd L rgrds ry unuck o nz
rbr h, d NrudnA h grnd of h L onry r prn,
nd n h dd of h f, hn brzn horn uddny bon, Nrudn nzd rgh no h c ofh L
Afrrd h nrprr d o hOur r ky o hv bn o up Nobody
h drd o nz hr r hound yr, ou ofrpc
Oh, don hnk you nd o gv nohr hough,d h Mu ou , nzd n y on ngug,no n h. H oud nvr h rzd h ry
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T a
lla asd had ee lad seeal eas Ate settl el hehad stated t te et e had msed
thsands eses ad he ad hs eds had deeeth the ld t mte hm
Hs ed Wal d hm stt th hs head hshad, sbbg bttel
Chee , asd, he sad t at be as ad as althat
Bt t s sad asrd I hae jst dseed thatI a et
ll he d sd l s e e the ll eel bette
Bt at d that Ie ee eleted Pet heCenr b the Aadem Clte e ee ms
se esteda
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Memory
' H
. ow are you getting on with that memory-training corse you got by correspondence,
Mulla?'
I'm improving Now I can sometimes remember that I
have frgotten something.'
75
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A s
h kin f bir h ck y grnwih, g inn'Why, M, h j h hing r
y prr, hy i r hnr yr'W, y knw hw ci . J gi n
ry , n ' b bck if i h i y y'
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Nine dnkeys
asrud oce udertook to take e dokeysr delery to a local rmer
The ma ho etrusted them to hmcouted them oe y oe so tat Nasrud could e surethat there really ere e
O the road hs atteto as dstracted y somethy the aysde
Nasrud stt astrde oe of the amals coutedthem aa ad aa He could make t oly eht
Pacstrcke he umed o looked all oe the acead the couted them aa
There ere eThe he oted a remarkale th he he as
stt o dokeyack he could see oly eht dokeys
he hoeer he dsmouted there ere e fulleThs s the ealty reected the ulla r rd
he I should o dout e alk ehd the dokeysDd you hae ay dculty ett them here asked
the rmer he he arred dusty ad dsheelledNot after I leart the trck of dokey-drers alk
ed a aru ere tat tey ere l otrcks
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I n hp Im i
in c lt ong th co iting th octo ttntionH pting in lo voic, ov n
ov gin hop vy ill, hop vy ill!H o oliz th oth tht thy init
on hi going in to th phyicin t only hop vy ill! h hot t th octoWhy ht to think tht nyon ho fl lik
lly t n ll!
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The ilness o my wie
Good mor ua sad he oa door haa I do r ou
I s aou he ess o m eIs she Yes she sad ha Id eer me o e ou ha she
oud ke o see ouSha I ome a oe
o se od me aerards ha she as ee eerad so Ie ome o e ou ha ahouh ou oud havehad o ome she had o eer se she has reoeredou do eed o ome aer a
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Doney lost
' M
ula, your donkey has disappeared.'Thank goodness I wasnt on it at the
time, oterwise I would have disappeared
t!
Bo
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h
n g in cnvrin wi Nrin,ning i p.
Nrn f bb n i c Tn k
Hw fn y vTwny r iry i y, i M b k!
N, ny brbr.
81
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Th Cmpn im
Th Mulla had akn a j n a cry Th ransaw h lay dwn hs ls and sar walkwards h dr
Wha d yu hnk yu ar dn' a n hav y har cu'u can' hav yur har cu n h Cpany's !'Bu rw n h Cpany's '
N all , yu ddn''All rh, hn, wn' hav all '
Mral u ay hav rwn yur har n Cpany ,u hs ds n an ha vryn wll undrsand yu
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Grey and white
Nasrudin, when a child, asked his fther:'Why have you got grey hair?
'Because, Nasrudin, children asking im
possible questions make a mans hair white.
'I see, said the Mulla 'That explains why your own
fthers hair is snow-coloured
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Esoteric
Aspiritual os named Khamsa once went toNasrudin and said:
Is it true that you have secret knowledge?'Tell me something of your own hig experiences,' was
al that Nasrudin would sayVery well. At night leave this plane of materiality and
rise to the highest heaven.'
Do you,0
Master,' inquired Nasrudin, feel that yource is being cled by some nlike object?'Yes, yes!' said amsa, thinking that this must be one
of the indications of higher attainment.In that case,' said Nasruin, you had better know that
te nike obect is the tail of my long-eared donkey'
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Auomaion
The mnement hd clled mssmeetin of llemployees
y iends' sid he mnin diecto hve to nnonce tht s om month hence this ctoyis to o ove to totl tomtion'
Thee s sp om the hole dienceAll pocesses ill e cied ot y mchines This ill
men th the ok is done ette moe qickly nd moepotly'Wht ot s' someone clled otThee is no cse lm Yo ill e pid s s
ith nnl incements Yo ill contine to hve thesme ssidized cneen nd spots ciliies All yo illhve to do is to come in on Fidys to collect yo py'
Nsdin nion ocil stood pNot ever Fidy hope'
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Nms
A crin cnqrr i Nrin M, gr rr f p nric i wi n f in
r w, r innc, -if, n -Accp,n n Hw b c n r
Frbi, i Nrin
86
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h ch
arudin wa chalking a lgan n a wall inLndn n day Stppd y th plic hactd in uch a trang way that h wa
handd vr t th halth authriti, crtid inan andnt t an aylu
Th aylu wa ll f dangru lunatic Whn hwa puhd int th curtyard f h intitutin, th
inat crwdd hi with any a hut and craH tk hi pic f chalk h pckt Stand ack,vryn! h hutd
Surprid, th lunatic ydNarudin dividd th int tw ta, thn drw a
chalk lin n th cncrt twn thNw, h aid, all f yu jup undr that Th rt
an undr winThr wr trril caualti a th ta dahd
thlv again and again at th linNarudin wa rlad Ndy wa quit ur whthr
it wa cau f th injuri f h inat, r cau fhi rurcln with th chalk
Mral What gt yu int trul ay gt yu ut again
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s pp
Nin w wking hgh h inighTh wchn k:
Wh y ing , M'My p h ipp n king i'
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So hot
Nasrudin was very lazy. One day e eturnedfom a trip to the Gul, wic is extremelyhot i te summer.
Do you know wat?' he asked is ellow-illagrs, Ihave never been so continuously active in my lie as I wason te Gul'
Whatever were you doing, Mulla?'
Sweating.'
89
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I i me P
rin wn in b wi cq cCn y inify yrf k
cr
90
Nrin k irrr n pr in i, rig, i
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Amiin
rin w being inerviewe r eplyen in epren re
Te pernnel nger iWe like bii en ere W r f b re y
ferAll rig, i Nrin, ll ve our bAre y
my ell be, i te ul, ut i tt neeyqliin
rl Abiin i ll rig, prviing y nt gein e er fellw wy
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p
N rin wn knw r b , in k i gry
W pin picr' k M, pping in n f g n cr cnv
ic y cn by ignr.'T vi Hw r cpy y cnr'
92
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N liv
you r vry i, Mu,' i h nighbour Whor your riv?'
hvn' go ny.'Bu ury you o u h your ohr i iv?'Sh' iv righ, bu inc y hr ivorc hr,
hvn' riv in h wor'
93
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Service
Nasrudin was in a patent ofce trying to patent amagic wand.
'Im sorry, said the clerk, we dont patentimpossible inventions.
So Nasrudin waved his magic wand, and the clerkdisappeared.
94
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Shs
hif, wh pcii in ing h, wN ruin n y
Th u wn in mqu, wn nr y hi pryr Cnrry cum, h kp hih n.
Th hif, wh h wn hin him, w un ri inning uiy A pryr i wih h h n
n bi'N,' mur Nruin r hi hur, ut if th
i, h i mhing.'
5
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o hves
asrudn pnd a lcur agncy H knw smany ppl wh fl ha hy had smhngnrsng say. Why n cm hr
agnTh ns wh fl ha hy wr nrsng hwvr
wr n usually nrsng ppl. H g many cpans.
x m I shall mak sur h sad.On day a lgram arrvd m a sudy scyPLEAE UPPLY A WT TO ADDRE OUR GROU ON
UNDAY
Ths m I can mak sur sad h ulla H sn f hs lcurrs and rpld y lgram WT
D CULT O N D O HAVE ENT TWO HAL-W
NTEAD
ral Th sum f h pars s n ncssarly qual hwhl.
96
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Pm cmmunicin
L anguag said ulla Nasrudin as dvisd todscri actions as l as thoughts. That mansthat all ou hav to do is to gt th ords right and
vrthing ill undrstood.But ulla said a ind surl that cannot appl to
vrthings it should.
Thn can ou dscri to m ho th silk industr iscarrid outCrtainl. Th rst part is to gt th orms and
untist that hich is tistd. Th scond part is to gt ridof th orms and rtist that hich has n untistd.
97
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The sme strenth
asud aeded a ecue a ma o aseac a posop aded do o m someoe o ved e eas ee
Te ua asked:Is s posop s pese m as appcae
oda amo a dee commu as as o decadesao?
Of couse s sad e ecue T s jus aexampe of e dcuous quesos c peope ask Aeac aas emas e same : uh cao ae!
Some me ae ua Nasud appoaced e samema a jo as a adee
You seem ae od sad e ecue ad I am osue a ou ca maae e jo
I ma ook dee sad Nasud u I ave esame se I ad e eas aoHe o e jo o e se of s assuace.Soo afeads e posope asked Nasudi o shf
a pavsoe om oe pa o e ade o aoe Tuas e m he ua coud o
I ou ou sad a ou ee as so as ou ee
I am aseed Nasud exac as so Teeas ao I coud o ave fed ee!
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Second thoughts
H udeds o eoe ee seam aa ome ee mee o a ea Su easud as ma s a oads e
ouseSudde asud sa do e mdde o e oadOe o e eoe soed ad ased:a ae ou do
asud sad:e I was o o e ouse o e Su Bu seeeoe ese s o away om Im a seodous
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The will of Aah
M a te o Aa e doe' a ous ma assa aout somet or oter.It aas s a ase' sad ua
asrudHo a ou roe tat ua 'Qute sm. I t as't aas e doe te
sure at some tme or aoter my oud e doe
oud't t'
102
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