Download - Resolving Workplace Conflicts Effectively

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Resolving Workplace Conflicts Effectively

Claudette Rowley

December 7, 2011


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Advising nonprofits in:

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• Planning

• Organizational Development

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(617) 969-1881

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Today’s Speaker

Claudette RowleyCoach, Consultant, Author

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N O N P R O F I T W E B I N A R S

D E C E M B E R 7 , 2 0 1 1

1 - 2 P M E S T

Resolving Workplace Conflicts Effectively

Webinar Takeaways

Participants will learn

The five typical responses to conflict.

A step by step process for preparing to resolve conflict.

Communication skills for engaging in a conflict resolution conversation.

The Purpose of Conflict

To generate change; allow growth and evolution

To surface something that’s not working

To signal that change is trying to happen

Why do we resist/avoid/confront conflict?

Brain chemistry

Influence of past experiences

Feels bad; feels vulnerable

Not having the skill set

Not feeling confident

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes (TKI)

1. Competing

2. Collaborating

3. Compromising

4. Avoiding

5. Accommodation

TKI - Competing

Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-oriented mode. When competing, an individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person’s expense, using whatever power seems appropriate to win his or her position. Competing might mean standing up for your rights, defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.

TKI - Collaborating

Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.

TKI - Compromising

Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When compromising, an individual has the objective of finding an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on middle ground between competing and accommodating, giving up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding but doesn’t explore it in as much as depth as collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position.

TKI - Avoiding

Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue his or her own concerns or those of the other person. He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.

TKI - Accommodating

Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative – the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view.

Needs

Whose needs are being met in a given situation?

Preparing to Resolve a Conflict: Self-Reflection

Preparation and self-reflection are important for two reasons:

1. If you are emotionally distraught, it’s not a good time to respond to a conflict.

2. “Winging it” can backfire.

How to Prepare: 6 Steps

4. What are your assumptions about the conflict, yourself and the other person?

5. What are your “dignity violations?”

(a term coined by Donna Hicks, PhD in her book Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict.)

6. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

How to Prepare: 6 Steps

1. Understand your own conflict tendencies.

2. What’s your current perspective on the conflict? What are other perspectives?

3. What are your emotional triggers?

The Bridge:From Preparation to the Conversation

Questions to ask:

What’s the change the conflict is trying to surface?

What are your interests?

What do you know about the other person’s interests?

What are possible approaches to handling the conflict?

Having the Conversation: Communication Skills

Have a conversation about “how to have the conversation”:

What would a successful resolution look like?

What are the ground rules for the conversation?

Helpful Skills to Use

Focus on interests

Name what’s happening

Ask open-ended questions

Use active listening skills

Stay as neutral as possible

Acknowledge emotions (rather than acting on them)

Agreements & Options

Give the other person an opportunity to share their story, perspective and any “dignity violations”.

Discover your areas of agreement.

Clarify your differences.

Brainstorm options: expand the options before you, look for mutual gain, create a list of possibilities, get creative.

Objective Criteria

Two questions:

How will you know when this conflict is resolved?

How will you know that it’s staying resolved?

If You’re Stuck

1. Refrain from blaming, defensiveness and criticism.

2. Name your experience.

3. Reframe the conversation toward interests or options.

4. Take a break and reconvene at an agreed upon time.

5. Get a neutral third party if needed.


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