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Religions Role: Marriage and
Parenting in Daily Life andduring Family Crises
Elizabeth Anderson
Laurie Barwick
Lianna Bennett
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Video Clip: How to end an
Argument/Conflict Resolution http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6Ggdr-whl0
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Vignette
Mary and John, a Christian couple whohave been married for 15 years are seekingtherapy for marital conflict, particularlydisagreements over how to raise theirchildren (14 year old son, 10 year olddaughter). Mary believes that the childrenshould have strict rules and that Johnsparenting style is permissive. John believesthat Marys parenting style is too harsh and
that the children should be allowed to maketheir own decisions. Mary and John findthemselves arguing over topics such asdiscipline, church attendance, and values.
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Based on this vignette, what aresome things as a clinician you
would want to know or assess for?
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Assess individual religious affiliation(Fundamentalist, Liberal, etc )
Assess individual values Assess individual parenting style
Assess for mental illness and other
psychological factors (e.g.neuroticism)
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Why Religion?
Gallup poll in 1995 of US families: 65% of mothers & 57% of fathers stated
religion to be very or extremely
important in their lives (Mahoney et al.,1999)
About 90% of individuals in the US wantreligious training for their children
(Gallup & Castelli, 1989) Yet, there is little theory or research
on the role of religion in family
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Religion and Family Life Overview Marital Functioning
Transition to Parenthood
Parenting of Children Parenting of Adolescents
Parental Gender and Family Life
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Marital Functioning
Global Marital Satisfaction: Greater involvement in religion appears to be tied to
spouses being satisfied with marriage
Mahoney et al. (2001) found that church attendancemore frequently covaried with greater maritalsatisfaction (r= .07), and that religion beingpersonally relevant related to greater maritalsatisfaction (r= .15)
Two moderators for links between religion andmarital satisfaction: First, Sullivan (2001) found that if partners portray
healthy behavior (mental health), religion couldincrease marital satisfaction; however, couples with apartner in distress or neurotic might experience anincrease in marital difficulties
Second, Mahoney et al. (2001) found that religiousnesson a personal level is very predictive of marital
happiness for people attending church
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Marital Functioning contd Marital Commitment:
Mahoney et al. (2001) found that greaterindividual religiousness is consistently tied with
greater marital commitment; and couplessharing religious affiliation, church attendance,and/or beliefs have been repeatedly tied togreater marital commitment
Larson & Goltz (1989) and Wilson & Musick
(1996) found that greater church attendancerelates to marital commitment, after accountingfor demographic factors and marital/familysatisfaction
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Marital Functioning contd Marital Verbal Conflict/Conflict Resolution Strategies:
Oggins (2003) found that couples rarely directlyargue about religion
Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the frequency of
marital disputes is unrelated to personalreligiousness, thus not validating the notion thatmore religious people tolerate conflict to staytogether; also, couples look at religion for guidancein how to resolve conflict if it erupts
Brody et al. (1994) found that greater religiousness
was related to better marital communication skills In sum, research suggests that greater religiousness
can be linked to better communication patterns andless marital conflict
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Transition to Parenthood Krishnan (1993) found that greater church attendance is
tied to higher birth rates Becker and Hofmeister (2001) found that the birth of a child
may cause a transformation in the spirituality of parents;for example, mothers attending church more frequently
Palkovitz (2002) found that men were prompted forreligious introspection or religious involvement due to thebirth or presence of children
Also, some studies imply that religion may serve as asource of protection for marriages that are transitioning intoparenthood. Wilcox and Wolfinger (2003) found thatchurchgoing mothers received higher levels of support fromtheir husbands and were in less conflict with the father oftheir children, such as over sexual infidelity. The motherswere also more likely to be married at the time of the birthof the child and were highly committed to marriage.
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Parenting of Children Discipline Practices:
Most of the research on parenting and religion has focused on whetheror not Christian conservatism is tied to corporal punishment
Mahoney et al. (2001) found that adults affiliated with Christian groupsthat are conservative and hold literalistic beliefs about the Bible aremore likely to value children being obedient and also believe in corporal
punishment. However, most of the research about these attitudes hasnot focused on parents Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the actual use of corporal punishment
among Christian conservatives related to spanking of preadolescentsindicated a correlation ofr = .09, which was about half as strong asattitudinal links found in general samples of adults
Thus, it is important to realize that the degree to which parents hold tobiblical literalism (e.g. The Bible should be taken literally, word forword) or Christian fundamentalism (e.g. All the answers to
humanitys problems can be found in Gods Word), is more critical inpredicting parents adherence to corporal punishment than merelybeing a member of a Christian conservative group, as theaforementioned variables mediate the link between corporatepunishment and religious denomination
Research has also indicated that more liberal Christians are lessinclined to using corporal punishment
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Parenting of Children contd Warmth and Effective Parenting of Children:
Many studies indicate that religion may be tied to parentalwarmth, family cohesiveness and more effective parenting
Brody et al. (1994) stated that a mothers religiousness wasrelated to better skills in parenting, less coparenting conflict,
and better marital quality; also, fathers who were morereligious were also related to less coparenting conflict andbetter marital quality
Wilcox (1998) found that parents with theological conservativeviews of the Bible were more inclined to frequent hugging andpraising of their children. Wilcox (2002) also found that theseconservative parents were less likely to yell at their children
In sum, studies seem to indicate that more conservative
parents who are more inclined to spanking are also likely to bewarmer toward their children, especially when viewing theirparenting as a sacred calling
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Parenting of Adolescents Research:
Sherkat (2003) found that the adoption of religious beliefs andpractices by teenagers was influenced by greater parentalreligiousness
Personal religiousness of adolescents also appears to be
consistently tied with lower rates of premarital sexuality,delinquency and substance use (Donahue & Benson, 1995)
Discipline Practices: No empirical research that addresses the correlation between
religion and physical discipline of teenagers Links between corporal punishment and Christianity appear to
be present only in families of younger children
However, studies regarding religious parents trying to controltheir teens indicate that high levels of parental religiousnessmay not be effective for sons who resist their behavior beingcontrolled, while control might be more effective for daughters
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Parenting of Adolescents contd Warmth and Positivity:
Research indicates that religionfacilitates positive relationships between
parents and teenagers Pearce and Axinn (1998) found that
mothers level of religiousness whentheir teenagers were 18-years-old
predicted more positive relationshipswith their children when their childrenwere 23, as reported by both mothersand children
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Parental Gender and Family Life Fathers:
National surveys have indicated that fathers whoindicated high church attendance also reported ahigher involvement in youth activities (Wilcox, 2002)
King (2003) found that fathers who are morereligious indicated higher quality of relationships withtheir children, felt obligation, and positiveexpectations of future relationship
Mothers: Research has primarily been focused on African-
American and Mexican American women These studies suggest that religious faith can
facilitate the well-being of mothers struggling withchallenging circumstances (e.g. single parenting), aswell as facilitate adaptive parenting
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Religion and Family Crises
Overview
Divorce Domestic Violence
Marital Infidelity
Child Physical Abuse
Parenting a Child with Special
Needs
Child Psychopathology
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Divorce Religion as a protective factor
Religious affiliation vs. no affiliation
Frequent church attendance But what happens when divorce does
occur in religious families?
(Mahoney et al., 2001)
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DomesticViolence
Overall, religion appears to be protective factoragainst marital violence
3 large scale studies exist
Frequent churchgoers 50% less likely toexperience or use marital physical aggressionthan infrequent churchgoers
Degree of religiousness as a factor
What about toxic faith?
(Fergusson, et al., 1986; Ellison et al., 1999)
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Marital Infidelity Interesting fact!! Scarce research exists on
religion and sexual attitudes and behaviorswithin marriage
Most research deals with premarital sex Few studies on married couples found
sexual infidelity to be distressing for morereligious couples
Greater church attendance has been linkedwith greater disapproval of extramarital sexin the U.S., West Germany, and Poland
(Scott, 1998)
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Marital Infidelity contd Overall, research implies that more
religious people hold higherexpectations of sexual monogamy
and would feel guilt-ridden if engagedin sexual infidelity
Research implies this! Thesespeculations have yet to beempirically confirmed.
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Child Physical Abuse In contrast to findings on corporal punishment,
current research does not support the idea ofgreater religiousness encouraging childphysical abuse
Longitudinal study- 1975
Overall, it is unclear what specific religiousbeliefs buffer or exacerbate parents use ofexcessive physical force with child
(Brown, Cohen, Johnson, & Salzinger, 1998)
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Parenting a Child with Special
Needs Primarily descriptive and qualitative studies
Focuses on how families rely on religion tocope with children with a developmental
disability or serious illness Positive forms of religious coping-
Benevolent reappraisals (study found that 71%of Latino mothers viewed their disabled child asa gift from God)
Religious rituals & practices (prayer, attendingchurch, pilgrimages to holy places)
(Skinner et al., 1999; Bailey et al., 1999)
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Parenting a Child with Special
Needs contd Research largely involves only
mothers
Dollahite et al. (1998, 2002, 2004)found that fathers religious beliefs,religious practices, and religiouscommunities facilitated meaningful
father-child relationships amongLatter-Day Saint families with specialneeds children
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Child Psychopathology Research indicates that global markers of
greater parental and familial religiousnessare linked to better child psychological
adjustment What occurs when religious families do
have a child with a psychopathology?
Certain religious beliefs and practices couldexacerbate as well as buffer maladjustmentof clinically distressed youth
(Mahoney et al., 2001; Strawbridge et al., 1998)
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Emerging Constructs to Advance
Research There is a need to facilitate family
adjustment during normal family lifechanges
Sanctification= perceiving an aspectof life as having divine significanceand character Theistic Sanctification
Nontheistic Sanctification
(Pargament & Mahoney, 2005;
Mahoney et al., 2003)
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Sanctification contd Research on sanctification suggest that viewing
an aspect of life in a sacred lens has 4important implications Major investments
Spiritual resources Spiritual emotions Spiritual benefits
(Pargament & Mahoney, 2005;Mahoney et al., 2003)
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Counterproductive Constructs and
Divorce Sacred Loss and Desecration
Spiritual Guilt
Demonization
Theistic Triangulation
(Mahoney, 1999; Pargament et al., 2005;
Mahoney et al., 2003; Butler & Harper, 1994)
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Religious Resources to Recover
From Family Crises Family-Based Religious Practices and Rituals:
Butler, Stout, and Garner (2002) found that religiouscouples who have been married for a long time saythey engage in religious practices together (such aspraying) to resolve marital conflict
Theistic Mediation: For instance, God (or other supernatural forces) are
included in a dyadic relationship to help mediateconflict as a third party to the relationship
Butler and Harper (1994) have found this process tobe effective in case examples of marriage
Yanni (2003) also found that parents and theirchildren who included God as a mediator experiencedfewer conflicts, better communication and higherrelationship satisfaction
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Assessment ARE WE WALKING WITHTHE
SAME MORAL COMPASS?
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How to Address
DisagreementsRelationship Enhancement Therapy
Skill based therapy with goal of emotionalengagement
Focus is on recognizing and taking ownership of
feelings. Learn to avoid making judgments oraccusations, and avoid asking questions whilelistening. Instead, acknowledge underlying feelingsthat motivate your spouses expressions and actions.
Goal is to become less judgmental and to focus on
softening, which refers to a change in the hardnessof the quality of confrontation. (Ginsberg, 2000)
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PAUSEA biblical approach to negotiation
Prepare (pray, get the facts, seek godly counsel,develop options)
Affirm relationships (show genuine concern andrespect for others)
Understand interests (identify others' concerns,desires, needs, limitations, or fears)
Search for creative solutions (prayerful brainstorming)
Evaluate options objectively and reasonably(evaluate, don't argue) (Sande, 2006)
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References Brown, J., Cohen, P., Johnson, J., & Salzinger, S. (1998). A
longitudinal analysis of risk factors for child maltreatment:findings of a 17-year prospective study of officially recordedand self-reported child abuse and neglect. ChildAbuse andNeglect, 22, 1065-1078.
Butler, M. H. & Harper, J.M. (1994). The divine triangle: God inthe marital system of religious couples. FamilyProcess, 33,277-286.
Ginsberg, B. G. (2000). Relationship enhancement couplestherapy.In F. M. Dattilio & L. Bevilacqua (Eds.), Comparativetreatments ofrelationship dysfunction. New York: Springer.
Mahoney, A., Tarakeshwar, N. (2005). Religions role inmarriage and parenting in daily life and during family crises. InPaloutzian, R., & Park, C. (Ed.), Handbookofthe psychologyofreligionandspirituality(pp.177-195). New York: Guilford.
Sande, K. (2006). The peacemaker: A biblicalguide toresolving personalconflict. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.
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