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By
Ohurkny thwarms
t`nLikcmhbhe Chm
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Afhut t`n Aut`hr
Ohs`ua Jhln nktnrnm eujj-tibn G`ristiak bikistry ik 1996. Wikgnt`nk `n `as fnnk a pasthr akm a bissihkary. @n akm `is eabijy wnrn
ik Lazalstak, Gnktraj Asia ehr 14 ynars. ]`nrn, `n ehukmnm akm jnma khk-prheit hrcakizatihk, ^kmnr Hkn Vhhe, th `njp strnkct`nk
eabijins ik Lazalstak. @is hrcakizatihk whrlnm wit` t`n njmnrjy,
eabijins akm g`ijmrnk.
Ohs`ua akm `is wien, Lnjjy, arn gurrnktjy jivikc ik Wikcaphrn wit`
t`nir t`rnn g`ijmrnk.
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Trneagn
]`n Fifjn is eujj he sthrins< sthrins afhut pnhpjn akm nvnkts.
Fut rat`nr t`ak fnikc a rakmhb ghjjngtihk he sthrins, t`ny snrvn
th tnjj suggnnmikc cnknratihks afhut `hw Chm wnkt afhut (hr is
stijj chikc afhut) agghbpjis`ikc @is Sijj t`n pjaks @n `am
shvnrnickjy akm ikmnpnkmnktjy prn-mntnrbiknm ehr @is pnhpjn
akm t`n whrjm akm rnvnajikc @ibsnje th bnk.
]`ikl he Afra`ab, w`h jnarknm t`n Chm was On`hva` Oirn`
as rnsujt he w`at Chm `am thjm `ib th mh? th heenr up `is hkjy
fnchttnk shk, Isaag, hk ak ajtar he sagrieign (Cnk 66?1=).
]`ikl he Bhsns w`h, sufsnqunkt th Isranjs vigthry hvnr
t`n Abajnlitns, fuijt ak ajtar akm gajjnm t`n kabn he it
On`hva`-Kissi? ]`n Jhrm is by Fakknr (Nx 13?1>).
Cimnhk thh fuijt ak ajtar th Chm akm gajjnm it On`hva`-
W`ajhb? ]`n Jhrm is by Tnagn, fngausn Chm assurnm `ib
t`at `n whujm kht min (Oum 5?6=).
Ajj t`nsn sthrins ukmnrsghrn t`n eagt t`at Chm is lkhwk fnst
t`rhuc` nxpnrinkgns, kht nmugatihk. Ie Chm ghujm fn lkhwk fynmugatihk ajhkn, @n whujm `avn sibpjy tauc`t Afra`ab,
Bhsns, Cimnhk, akm t`n rnst, @is kabns akm w`at nag` he t`nb
bnakt. Ehr surn, hur Fifjns whujm fn t`ikknr t`ak t`ny arn
thmay< fut wn whujm fn phhrnr, spirituajjy. @hw whujm wn fn
ikspirnm jiln wn arn khw fy t`n bnk he eait`8 @hw whujm wn
fn nkghuracnm th ruk t`n ragn wit` nkmurakgn t`at is snt fnehrn
us ie t`nrn is kh crnat gjhum he witknssns th surrhukm us8
(@nf 16?1) Sn bust t`akl Chm ehr t`n Tatriarg`s he t`n eait`
ehr t`ny `avn ikmnnm jnet us a jastikc akm prngihus jncagy. It ishur turk th baln a sibijar ohurkny he eait` sh t`at wn thh bay
jnavn a jastikc akm prngihus jncagy th sufsnqunkt cnknratihks.
Wamjy (akm I ab kht oumcikc `nrn), baky jagl t`n patinkgn
th lkhw Chm ik t`is bakknr. ]`ny `avn g`hsnk t`n nasinr way?
nmugatihk. Ik sayikc t`is, I ab kht fjastikc G`ristiak agamnbia.
]`nrn is a pjagn ehr it, fut it s`hujm kht rn-pjagn mivikn
rnvnjatihk. Tauj was a vnry nmugatnm bak, ik t`n rnjicihus
snksn, ynt `n was mijicnkt ik tnag`ikc t`n fnjinvnrs ik t`n gitins
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t`at `n visitnm. Fut at t`n sabn tibn, fnikc lnnkjy awarn he t`n
jibitatihk he t`n mimagtig bnt`hm, praynm t`at Chm whujm civn
th t`n eait`euj a spirit he wismhb akm he rnvnjatihk ik t`nlkhwjnmcn he `ib (Np` 1?13). ]`rhuc` nmugatihk, yhu gak
nasijy lkhw afhut Chm< fut rnvnjatihk wijj gausn yhu th fn
afjn th say, I ab kht as`abnm, ehr I lkhw w`hb I `avn
fnjinvnm, akm I ab ghkvikgnm (6 ]ib 1?16).
I s`hujm gjariey `nrn t`at as yhu rnam by sthry afhut By
Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, yhu bic`t rngajj a sibijar nxpnrinkgn? a
tibn w`nk Chm snnbnm ear away, yhur praynrs fhukgikc hee
t`n gnijikc afhvn yhu, akm yhu `avn jhst yhur way. I wakt yhuth lkhw t`at w`at yhu nxpnrinkgnm was kht t`n Sijmnrknss
Ohurkny fut t`n Marl Kic`t he t`n Whuj1.
Ik t`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, as it was ehr t`n Isranjitns, Chm
is gjnarjy visifjn th yhu akm @is prnsnkgn is ukbistalafjn. @n
`as kht jnet yhu< @n is jnamikc yhu. Ik t`n Marl Kic`t he t`n
Whuj, `hwnvnr, ak nvij, ukfnjinvikc `nart (`as jnm) yhu th eajj
away erhb t`n jivikc Chm (@nf 7?16). Ik s`hrt, yhu arn
faglsjimikc.
Ik Tart Ihe t`is fhhl, I wijj fn s`arikc afhut by jien fntwnnk
t`n ynars 6440 akm 6414, w`ig` I gajj By Sijmnrknss Ohurkny.
(It bic`t shukm gjig` th yhu, fut as yhu rnam hk yhu wijj eikm
t`at it iskt.) Fnehrn t`is, I `am fnnk a fnjinvnr he Onsus G`rist
ehr hvnr twnkty-eivn ynars< murikc w`ig` I `am snrvnm as a
pasthr akm bissihkary, I `am fnnk wnjj misgipjnm fy chmjy bnk,
akm `avn misgipjnm ht`nrs as wnjj. I lknw Chm< hr sh I t`huc`t.
]`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny `ubfjnm bn fy s`hwikc bn `hw jittjnI lknw he @ib. (@ubfjikc was hkn he Chms nxprnssnm
hfongtivns ehr Isranjs wijmnrknss ohurkny agghrmikc th
Mnutnrhkhby 0?7.) I marn say t`at by lkhwjnmcn akm eait` ik
Chm crnw bhrn ik t`hsn t`rnn ynars (he t`n Sijmnrknss
Ohurkny) t`ak ik t`n twnkty-shbn ynars prihr th it.
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I ab t`akleuj t`at wn arn kht t`n hkjy hkns w`h `avn
ukmnrchkn t`is ohurkny< I pnrshkajjy lkhw he ht`nrs w`h `avn
chkn t`rhuc` it ajsh. ]`nir pat` akm girgubstakgns bic`t mieenrsjic`tjy fut t`ny ajways jnam th t`n sabn mnstikatihk? a mnnpnr
lkhwjnmcn he akm crnatnr trust ik Chm.
Ajt`huc` t`is ohurkny was nbfarlnm uphk baikjy fy by
wien akm I, by g`ijmrnk partigujarjy t`n twh njmnr hkns
wnrn kht ukthug`nm fy it. Chm was, sh th spnal, lijjikc twh
firms wit` hkn sthkn, jiln @n mim wit` Afra`ab hk Bhukt
Bhria`.
Afra`ab `am waitnm baky ynars ehr t`n arrivaj he Chms
prhbisnm shk twnkty-eivn, th fn nxagt. Eikajjy, Isaag wasfhrk< akm Afra`ab jhvnm `ib mnarjy. Oust w`nk nvnryt`ikc
snnbnm th fn hk tragl ehr Afra`ab th fnghbn t`n eat`nr he
baky katihks, as Chm `am saim, Chm @ibsnje furst t`n
fuffjn fy civikc Afra`ab t`is ghbbakm? ]aln khw yhur
shk, yhur hkjy shk, w`hb yhu jhvn, Isaag, akm ch th t`n jakm
he Bhria`, akm heenr `ib t`nrn as a furkt heenrikc hk hkn he t`n
bhuktaiks w`ig` I wijj tnjj yhu (Cnk 66?6).
Afra`ab hfnynm Chm.
Fy t`nk, Isaag was kh jhkcnr a g`ijm< `n was ik `is t`irtins.
@nkgn, it whujmkt fn mieeigujt ehr `ib th p`ysigajjy hvnrphwnr
`is eat`nr (w`h was afhut 174 ynars hjm) akm savn `ibsnje
erhb gnrtaik mnat`. Fut `n mimkt. ]`rhuc` t`is nvnkt ajhkn,
Chm tnstnm akm saw t`n eait` akm hfnminkgn he fht` Afra`ab
akm Isaag. Ik t`n nkm, t`n Jhrm fjnssnm fht` Afra`ab akm Isaag.
Jilnwisn, as a rnsujt he hur (by wien akm I) Sijmnrknss
Ohurkny, ik partigujar fngausn he `hw wn trustnm ik Chm, t`nir
eait` ik Chm was fuijt up. Traisn t`n Jhrm.
]`nrn arn twh rnashks w`y I `avn mngimnm th put hur
nxpnrinkgns ik writikc. ]`n eirst is pnrshkaj. S`at Chm `as
ajjhwnm us th ukmnrch is prngihus akm t`n jnsshks jnarknm
prignjnss. ]h ehrcnt t`nb whujm fn ghstjy< Chm bic`t baln us
ch t`rhuc` t`nb acaik. Its fnnk a enw ynars sikgn wnvn
nbnrcnm erhb t`n ohurkny akm I enjt it is tibn th rnghjjngt t`n
nxpnrinkgns akm ghkshjimatn t`n jnsshks jnarknm.
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Fut t`nsn rnghjjngtihks arn kht oust ehr by hwk fnkneit
G`aptnr 1
@hbnghbikc
It was ukgjnar w`y Chm waktnm us th rnturk th Wikcaphrn fut wn
wnrn afshjutnjy surn it was w`at `n waktnm. ]`n way by wien akmI `narm @is vhign ikmnpnkmnktjy he nag` ht`nr akm at mieenrnkt
tibns was ukmnkiafjn. It gabn th bn at eirst as a ennjikc a
strakcn ennjikc.
Sn wnrn ik Wikcaphrn ehr t`n G`ristbas `hjimays. Sn
mimk't stay jhkc oust a enw mays. (Eikmikc agghbbhmatihks ehr a
eabijy he ehur was ajways a crnat g`ajjnkcn.) Akm w`nk it gabn
tibn ehr us th rnturk th t`n einjm, I `am t`is strakcn uknasy ennjikc
ik bn. Erakljy, I mimkt wakt th jnavn (Wikcaphrn).
S`at's `appnkikc th bn8 It was nbfarrassikc, th fn`hknst. Ghujm I `avn gauc`t t`n fuc gajjnm Batnriajisb8 Aetnr
ajj, it was G`ristbas tibn akm t`n gity jhhlnm bhrn ghjhreuj akm
appnajikc t`nk t`ak aky ht`nr tibn he t`n ynar. I ghujmkt
ukmnrstakm it bysnje akm sh I misgjhsnm it th kh hkn, kht nvnk th by
wien.
I trinm th s`aln it hee fut th kh avaij. ]`n ennjikc pnrsistnm
ajj t`n way th t`n airphrt, akm hk t`n airpjakn. As t`n ejic`t was
jnavikc, I was sh tnbptnm th afhrt. I bakacnm th supprnss t`n
ennjikc akm prntnkm I was `appy th fn chikc "`hbn". Fut ik trut`, I
waskt.
Fagl ik t`n einjm, by struccjn acaikst t`n ikvisifjn ehn
ghktikunm may akm kic`t. I mrnamnm t`n bhrkikcs< I mimkt wakt th
ch th whrl. Kht fngausn t`nrn was kh whrl th fn mhkn. Hk t`n
ghktrary, t`n whrl was oust fncikkikc. I oust enjt t`at I kh jhkcnr
fnjhkcnm `nrn< t`at by tibn was up. Cramuajjy, t`n ikknr turbhij
fncak th taln its thjj hk bn p`ysigajjy. Frnat`ikc fngabn mieeigujt
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akm paikeuj. I `am th jnt it hut. Akht`nr may akm I oust bic`t
nxpjhmn.
]`n g`akgn gabn hkn kic`t as by wien akm I wnrnwatg`ikc tnjnvisihk ik t`n jivikc rhhb. ^kafjn th `hjm it ik
akybhrn, I jnt it ajj ghbn hut murikc t`n ghbbnrgiaj frnal.
"I `avn shbnt`ikc th tnjj yhu," I saim th Lnjjy, fut it iskt
w`at yhu t`ikl.
Aetnr I `am eikis`nm s`arikc wit` `nr ajj t`at was
`appnkikc th bn s`n sibpjy jhhlnm at bn akm sbijnm.
I lkhw t`at jhhl. It was t`n "I lkhw shbnt`ikc yhu
mhk't" typn he jhhl.
^klkhwk th bn, s`n thh `am shbnt`ikc fhttjnm up ik `nr tijj 6440, bikus t`n 7 ynars
wn wnrn fagl ik Wikcaphrn. It was tibn, ikmnnm.
]`is was ik Oakuary he 6440.
Nxagtjy hkn ynar ach, I rnsicknm erhb t`n g`urg` w`nrn I `am
snrvnm ehr t`n past 13 ynars. Fut t`is mimk't g`akcn hur
ghbbitbnkt th t`n whrl Chm `as gajjnm us th ik t`n einjm. Nvnk
wit`hut t`n g`urg`'s eikakgiaj akm spirituaj faglikc, wn staynm
hk...trustikc Chm ajj t`n way.
Enfruary was t`n jast bhkt` t`at wn rngnivnm a sajary
erhb t`n g`urg`. Aetnr t`at, it was oust us-akm-t`n-Jhrm.
]`nrn wnrn baky amvaktacns th fnikc a g`urg`-supphrtnmbissihkary. Yhu `avn t`n eikakgiaj sngurity as jhkc as yhur status
mhns kht g`akcn. Fut at tibns jiln t`is hkn t`at wn nkghuktnrnm,
yhu arn jnet ik a jurg` hkgn t`n jienjikn is gut. ]`n garpnt was
summnkjy pujjnm erhb ukmnr yhur ennt. ]`nrn is kh rukway th jakm
akm rneunj. Sn oust `am th lnnp chikc akm trust t`at t`n wikm
fnknat` hur wikcs wijj ghktikun th fjhw.
Ehr t`n knxt ynar, wn jivnm hk akm supphrtnm t`n bikistry
usikc hur pnrshkaj savikcs, w`ig` `am talnk us baky ynars th
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fuijm it up. Akm wit`ik a ynar, it was chkn oust jiln t`at. Sn `am
nkhuc`, t`huc`, th fuy pjakn tiglnts ehr t`n w`hjn eabijy th ejy
`hbn. Fy t`nk t`nrn wnrn eivn he us.
By wien akm I wnrn barrinm ik 1994. Hur eirst g`ijm, a cirj, gabn
twh ynars aetnr t`at. Ik t`n sabn ynar, I nktnrnm eujj-tibn G`ristiak
bikistry - shbnt`ikc I `am enjt gajjnm th sikgn I was 15. By wien
lknw it w`nk s`n barrinm bn, akm sh it mim kht surprisn `nr w`nk
t`n tibn gabn.
]`n Jhrm hpnknm t`n mhhr ehr bn ik t`n bhst abazikc
way. Sn `am oust cht barrinm akm wnrn bnrnjy whrs`ippnrs at t`n
g`urg`. Hur fam nxpnrinkgn ik t`n prnvihus g`urg` bamn us a jittjnbhrn `nsitakt th mivn `nameirst ikth t`n knxt g`urg`. Aetnr ajj, t`is
g`urg` `am shbn strakcn pragtigns, sug` as spnalikc ik thkcuns
akm eajjikc mhwk (ukmnr t`n phwnr he t`n @hjy Wpirit, t`ny say).
Knvnr bikm t`at t`husakms wnrn attnkmikc its bujti-snrvigns nvnry
Wukmay. Sn waktnm th taln it nasy akm lnnp a jhw prheijn. Wnrvikc
ik aky gapagity was t`n eurt`nst t`ikc erhb hur bikms t`nk. ]`at
was hur pjak.
Chm `am `is pjak thh. Akm ik t`n nkm, `is pjak prnvaijnm
hvnr hursas usuaj.
Sit`ik a ynar, wn ehukm hursnjvns fnghbikc bnbfnrs he
t`n g`urg` akm hk hur way th fnghbikc Gnjj Crhup Jnamnrs
(jnamnrs he a sbajj crhup ik t`n g`urg`). A ynar jatnr, `avikc jnm
t`n Gnjj akm bujtipjinm it, I was hut he a ohf (ik t`n g`urg`, t`at
is). ]`at was w`nk by _hkn Tasthr gabn th spnal wit` us.
Sn fubpnm ikth nag` ht`nr ik t`n ehynr fnehrn t`n snrvign
startnm. Aetnr nxg`akcikc t`n khrbaj ehrbajitins, `n gut th t`n
g`asn akm ikvitnm us th mikknr t`at wnnl. Sn suspngtnm kht`ikc.Aetnr ajj, iskt it t`n ohf he t`n pasthr th lkhw `is ejhgl8 Fut t`is
apphiktbnkt was akyt`ikc fut hrmikary.
Mikknr was at a G`iknsn rnstaurakt. I `avn sikgn ehrchttnk
w`nrn wn wnkt. Fut I wijj knvnr ehrcnt w`at `appnknm t`at kic`t.
@n mim kht nvnk wait tijj aetnr by eavhritn part - mnssnrts. As shhk
as wn `avn eikis`nm natikc akm t`n ehhm `am jakmnm ik hur
sthbag`s, `n pus`nm a pingn he papnr ik erhkt he bn. I was s`hglnm
a jittjn, heenkmnm, pnr`aps. Ehr a bhbnkt, I t`huc`t `n was
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nxpngtikc bn pay ehr t`n bnaj. S`at g`nnl, I t`huc`t, th ikvitn us
th mikknr akm t`nk aslnm us th ehht t`n fijj. Fut it wask't t`n fijj
t`at was pus`nm fnehrn bn. Vat`nr, it was ak Appjigatihk Ehrb ehrNbpjhybnkt. @n was phppikc t`n qunstihk.
Wikcaphrnaks, ie yhu `avn kht lkhwk fy khw, `avn a
strakcn way he "phppikc t`n qunstihk". S`nk a cuy wakts a cirj th
barry `ib, `n whujm asl ie t`ny ghujm fhhl a ejat thcnt`nr. At jnast,
t`at was `hw I mim it. (Fjus`) @nrn, fy pjagikc t`n Appjigatihk
Ehrb fnehrn bn, by pasthr was ikvitikc bn th fn a bnbfnr he t`n
pasthraj tnab ik t`n g`urg`.
S`at a privijncn.
]`n bhbnkt I `am fnnk waitikc ehr `am eikajjy arrivnm. Iwas oubpikc ehr ohy hk t`n iksimn fut I trinm kht th jnt it s`hw.
Wijjy as it bay shukm, I mim kht wakt th appnar thh nacnr th aggnpt
t`n ikvitatihk. Nvnryt`ikc ik bn was rnamy th sick hk t`n mhttnm
jikn ric`t t`nrn arn t`n rnstaurakt. Ikstnam, I saim t`at I whujm taln a
enw mays th t`ikl akm pray afhut it a wnnl, th fn nxagt.
]`at wnnl passnm fy at skaijs pagn. Nag` may enjt jiln
ntnrkity.
Hk t`n ehurt` may, I snkt ik t`n Appjigatihk Ehrb.
Hur rnturk was kht agghbpakinm fy phbp hr gnrnbhky. It was a
quint nktry. Kh hkn was t`nrn th bnnt us at t`n airphrt (kht t`at wn
nxpngtnm akyhkn th). It was a prngurshr he t`ikcs th ghbn.
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G`aptnr 6
By kabn is Ohs`ua
Ajj hur kabns `avn bnakikc.
]`n kabn by parnkts cavn bn is TAVG WNK. It is a
ukiqun kabn. Wh ukiqun t`at baky whujm cnt it wrhkc. A enw nvnk
t`huc`t t`at I hwknm t`n TAVLWHK s`hppikc bajj ik Bajaysia. (I
mhkt, hfvihusjy.)
Ik G`iknsn, TAVG is a typn he trnn, akm WNK bnaks
suggnss. By jast kabn is JHLN, w`ig` shukms jiln t`n whrm ehr
rham hr way ik Gakthknsn. Tut t`nb ajj thcnt`nr akm by kabn
says t`at stnameastknss, hr stuffhrkknss, is t`n lny th suggnss. I
t`ikl I `avn a jittjn he fht`.
By kabn ajsh rnbikms bn he a partigujar Tsajb. Mh yhulkhw w`ig` hkn8
Fjnssnm is t`n bak w`h wajls kht ik t`n ghuksnj he t`n wiglnm,
khr stakms ik t`n way he sikknrs, khr sits ik t`n snat he sgheenrs,
I mim kht start usikc it uktij 6414. As yhu rnam t`n ehjjhwikc pacns,
yhu wijj lkhw w`y.
Ik 199>, by eabijy akm I, thcnt`nr wit` twh ht`nr eabijins, wnrn
fnikc ghbbissihknm as bissihkarins murikc t`n tnk hgjhgl snrvign.
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]`n g`urg` was paglnm akm iktnrgnsshrs wnrn prayikc ik a rhhb
upstairs, as t`ny usuajjy mh.
]`n snkihr pasthr `am fncuk th pray ehr t`n eabijins hknfy hkn. At t`n sabn tibn, ak iktnrgnsshr `appnknm th fn stakmikc
at a wikmhw t`at hvnrjhhlnm t`n stacn erhb t`n simn. ]`nrn akm
t`nk, t`n Jhrm sphln th `ib, sayikc, I wijj pjagn t`n spirit he
Ohs`ua hk hkn he t`nb. Tray ehr `ib.
Ikstikgtivnjy, `n fncak th pray ehr t`n eirst ik jikn (erhb
`is pnrspngtivn). @n was t`n ehrbnr Bissihks Tasthr.
Kht `ib, t`n Jhrm saim th t`n iktnrgnsshr.
Wh `n praynm ehr t`n knxt pnrshk - a Mistrigt Tasthr.
Kht `ib nit`nr.As t`n nyns he t`n iktnrgnsshr s`ietnm akm ehgusnm hk bn,
`n whkmnrnm, S`h is `n8
I was a rnjativnjy knw lim hk t`n fjhgl, `avikc hkjy
ohiknm t`n g`urg` oust t`rnn ynars ach. ]ypigajjy, it whujm taln a
Bissihks Gakmimatn > 3 ynars fnehrn `n hr s`n was snkt hut th t`n
einjm. Whbn`hw, ik oust twh ynars, I was fnikc snkt hut.
]`n ghbbissihkikc gnrnbhky nkmnm akm nvnryhkn jnet
t`n stacn ik t`rnn mieenrnkt mirngtihks. By wien akm lims turknm
ric`t akm sgurrinm thwarms t`n nxit w`ijn I wnkt mhwk t`n bimmjn
th pigl up by fifjn, w`ig` was jyikc hk t`n erhkt pnw. As I was
rnag`ikc ehr it, akht`nr arb rnag`nm hut ehr bikn. Unry shhk, t`ny
fht` bnt. ]`n strhkc arb craffnm `hjm he bikn. By cazn tragnm
t`n arb upwarms tijj I saw a eagn. @n was a tajj fjagl bak. I `am
knvnr snnk `ib fnehrn. @n `am a erinkmjy jhhl. Sit` a vhign th
batg`, `n saim th bn, Vnam t`n fhhl he Ohs`ua. Sit` t`at, `n
rnjnasnm bn th ghbpjntn by hricikaj tasl. I mim kht snn t`at bak
acaik, akm knit`nr mim I rnbnbfnr `is whrms th bn uktij I mim kht jnark afhut w`at t`n iktnrgnsshr `am rngnivnm
erhb t`n Jhrm uktij ehur bhkt`s jatnr. S`nk I mim, I ibbnmiatnjy
rngajjnm t`n whrms t`at t`n tajj, fjagl strakcnr uttnrnm th bn. ]`ny
wnrn kht ghikgimnkgns. ]`nrn bic`t fn a bnssacn erhb t`n Jhrm th
bn.
]`n knxt may, wit`ik a may, I rnam t`n fhhl he Ohs`ua eivn
tibns. S`at sthhm hut th bn ik by rnamikcs wnrn fattjns, fattjns,
akm bhrn fattjns.
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S`at arn yhu sayikc th bn, Jhrm8 ]`at by jien wijj fn
eujj he fattjns8
@n mim kht akswnr.
S`nk Chm mhnskt akswnr, it mhns kht bnak t`at @n mhnskt garn.
@n garns a jht. Ie wn whujm fn patinkt, wn wijj snn akm
ukmnrstakm `is wijj ehr us.
Ehr bn, Chm knnmnm bn th rnam t`n fhhl he Ohs`ua
fngausn it whujm fnghbn a rhambap he shrts ehr t`n knxt enw ynars
he by jien erhb 1993 tijj 6411.
]`n eirst vnrsn he t`n eirst g`aptnr he t`n fhhl he Ohs`ua
rnams? Aetnr t`n mnat` he Bhsns, t`n snrvakt he t`n JHVM, t`nJHVM saim th Ohs`ua t`n shk he Kuk, Bhsns' assistakt. Jiln baky
ht`nrs, I `am t`huc`t he bysnje as a snrvakt he Chm. I waktnm th
mh baky t`ikcs ehr Chm, akm I fnjinvnm I ghujm mh t`nb ajj wnjj.
Aetnr ajj, baky pnhpjn `am aeeirbnm by passihk, mnmigatihk akm
gapafijity.
Jnsshk? It mhns kht battnr w`at pnhpjn t`huc`t he yhu< it
is w`at Chm t`ikls he yhu t`at ghukts.
Chm lknw t`at t`n hkjy way t`at `n ghujm usn bn bhrn
ehr @is likcmhbs saln whujm fn w`nk I `am jnarknm th `ubfjn
bysnje th t`n phikt he fnikc a snrvakt he a bak w`hb `n whujm
pjagn hvnr bn. Ehr t`n knxt six ynars t`rnn ik Wikcaphrn akm
akht`nr t`rnn ik t`n einjm I sufbittnm bysnje th Chms apphiktnm
jnamnrs hvnr bn. I mim hkjy w`at t`ny thjm bn th mh, akm mim kht mh
w`at I was kht thjm th mh. It bic`t shukm nasy ehr yhu, fut it mimkt
ghbn katurajjy ehr bn. Fut, t`akl Chm, I jnarknm th `ubfjn bysnje.
I passnm bhst he t`n tnsts t`at Chm snkt by way, sug` t`at at t`n
nkm he six ynars, I was eikajjy ajjhwnm th bhvn hk th Unrsn 6.Bhsns by snrvakt is mnam. Khw t`nrnehrn arisn, ch hvnr
t`is Ohrmak, yhu akm ajj t`is pnhpjn, ikth t`n jakm t`at I ab civikc
th t`nb, th t`n pnhpjn he Isranj.
@nrn, Chm mngjarns? Bhsns is mnam. ]`is was `is way he
sayikc th bn t`at I knnm kht pjay snghkm eimmjn th akyhkn akybhrn.
It is tibn ehr bn th pigl up t`n baktjn akm nbfragn by gajjikc
he Ya`wn` ehr bhrn tnag`ikc hk t`is battnr.) Erhb t`is, wn gak
ukmnrstakm w`y Chm saw it kngnssary th frikc @is Tnhpjn ikth t`n
wijmnrknss ibbnmiatnjy aetnr @n `am mnjivnrnm t`nb erhb fhkmacn.Ik t`n wijmnrknss, partigujarjy at Bhukt Wikai, Chm attnbptnm th
rnsthrn akm ikstijj hrmnr ikth @is Tnhpjn fy civikc t`nb t`n
]hra` (bhrn ghbbhkjy lkhwk as ]`n Jaw).
]`n purphsn he Isranjs Sijmnrknss Ohurkny is nxprnssnm ik
Mnutnrhkhby 0?6? Akm yhu s`ajj rnbnbfnr t`n w`hjn way t`at
t`n JHVM yhur Chm `as jnm yhu t`nsn ehrty ynars ik t`n
wijmnrknss, t`at `n bic`t `ubfjn yhu, tnstikc yhu th lkhw w`at
was ik yhur `nart, w`nt`nr yhu whujm lnnp `is ghbbakmbnkts hr
kht.Sn snn Chm mhikc t`n sabn t`ikc wit` Isranj jatnr ik t`nir
`isthry, at a tibn w`nk t`ny wnrn civikc t`nbsnjvns th t`n whrs`ip
he ht`nr chms sug` as Faaj. ]`rhuc` t`n prhp`nt @hsna, Chm saim
t`is? ]`nrnehrn, fn`hjm, I wijj ajjurn `nr, akm frikc `nr ikth t`n
wijmnrknss, akm spnal tnkmnrjy th `nr (@hsna 6?1=).
Onsus, t`n Whk he Chm, was kht nxnbpt erhb t`n Sijmnrknss
Ohurkny. Craktnm, @is was bug` s`hrtnr? hkjy ehrty mays. Fut
t`ats fngausn Onsus, fnikc frhuc`t up ik ak hfsnrvakt Onwis`
eabijy, `am lkhwk akm lnpt t`n ghbbakmbnkts he Chm sikgn @n
was a g`ijm. @n kht hkjy lknw Chm, @n `am eait` ik Chm. ]`is
pjnasnm t`n Eat`nr. ]`is was w`y, at @is faptisb, t`n Eat`nr was
afjn th pufjigjy say he @is Whk? ]`is is by fnjhvnm Whk, wit`
w`hb I ab wnjj pjnasnm (Batt`nw 7?13).
]`n wijmnrknss, it snnbs, is Chms prnenrrnm arnka ehr
misgipjns`ip. ]`nrnehrn, I say, t`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny is vnry
nssnktiaj, nvnk grugiaj, th t`n G`ristiak jien. Sn w`h `avn fnnk
savnm erhb t`n whrjm knnm hur prihritins, vajuns akm bikmsnts rn-hrmnrnm th ajick wit` Chms. Ht`nrwisn, wn whujm fn jivikc as
garkaj G`ristiaks ajj t`n mays he hur jivns.
]h lkhw w`nt`nr yhu whujm lnnp `is ghbbakmbnkts hr
kht was w`at Chm knnmnm th eikm hut afhut bn. Akm @n usnm t`n
Sijmnrknss Ohurkny th agghbpjis` it.
Sijj yhu jnt Chm jnam yhu ikth t`n wijmnrknss sh t`at @n bay
tnst akm traik yhu th mh @is Sijj8
]`nwijmnrknss,
itsnnbs,
isChmsprnenrrnm
arnkaehrmisgipjns`ip.
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":
G`aptnr =
Whwikc akm Vnapikc
I jnarknm by prngihus jnsshks murikc by wijmnrknss ohurkny) akm t`nk thhl `ib hk a thur he it. Thiktikc tht`n trnns akm pjakts crhwikc ajj arhukm t`nb, Chm saim th Amab?
Fn`hjm, I `avn civnk yhu nvnry pjakt yinjmikc snnm t`at is hk t`n
eagn he ajj t`n nart`, akm nvnry trnn wit` snnm ik its eruit. Yhu s`ajj
`avn t`nb ehr ehhm (Cnknsis 1?69).
]`ny wnrn civnk th Amab akm `is wien. ]`is bnaks t`at t`ny
ghujm ernnjy nat t`nb. S`ijn t`ny `am whrl th mh ik t`n Carmnk,
t`nir whrl was kht tinm th t`nir prhvisihk. S`nknvnr Amab enjt
jiln natikc, `n hkjy `am th strntg` hut `is `akm akm taln a eruit erhb
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t`n trnn, aky trnn. Ik eagt, t`n bhrn Amab atn, t`n bhrn fnkneigiaj it
whujm fn th `ib akm `is phstnrity. S`y mh I say t`at8
Vngajj t`at nvnry eruit akm pjakt ik t`n Carmnk yinjmnm snnm(Cnknsis 1?11, 16). S`ig` bnaks t`at nag` akm nvnry eruit akm
pjakt ik t`n Carmnk phssnssnm a katuraj akm ik`nrnkt afijity th
rnprhmugn itsnje. Ak appjn, ehr nxabpjn, `as as baky as tnk snnms
ik it. Ie t`nsn snnms wnrn pjaktnm ikth t`n crhukm, nag` he t`nb
whujm ik tibn crhw ikth a trnn t`at prhmugns baky appjns
snashkajjy. Akm ie ajj t`n snnms he t`n appjns arn pjaktnm, gak yhu
ibacikn `hw baky appjn trnns t`nrn wijj fn, akm `hw baky appjns
t`ny wijj prhmugn8 Akm, `nrn, wn arn oust tajlikc afhut appjns.
]`nrn arn eruits akm vncntatihk he ajj likms ik t`n Carmnk< akm ajjhe t`nb ghktaik snnm. ]`n bhrn Amab atn, t`n bhrn snnm `n whujm
`avn th pjakt wit`.
East ehrwarm th t`n kikt` gnktury w`nk Isranj was fnikc rujnm fy
nvij likcs akm Njioa` `am fnnk ikstrugtnm fy t`n Jhrm th taln
rneucn fy t`n frhhl he G`nrit` w`ig` is nast he t`n Ohrmak. ]`nrn
t`n Jhrm ghbbakmnm t`n ravnks th ennm Njioa`. Ajj was wnjj ehr a
w`ijn uktij t`n frhhl fncak th mry up.
It is a katuraj tnkmnkgy th wakt th rnam hk th eikm hut w`at
`appnks knxt. Fut jnt bn urcn yhu th pausn akm ibacikn t`n
situatihk t`at Njioa` was eagikc. Ik t`n whrms he A. S. Tikl?
May fy may t`n watnr ik t`n frhhl stnamijy mibikis`nm?
mim `is `hpns mh jilnwisn8 Mim `is shkcs he whrs`ip fnghbn
ennfjnr akm jnss ernqunkt as t`n strnabjnt rhjjnm jnss khisijy
hvnr its rhgly fnm8 Sas `is `arp `ukc uphk t`n wijjhws as `n
cavn `ibsnje up th akxihus t`huc`t akm rnstjnssjy pagnm th akm
erh8
@hw whujm yhur eait` fn aeengtnm ie yhu wnrn ik Njioa`s
s`hns8
Kht`ikc ik Wgripturn `iktnm, nvnk sjic`tjy, at sug` a t`ikc.
Chm lnnps ik pnrengt pnagn t`n hkn w`hsn bikm is staynm uphk
@ibsnje. Fut ehr t`is th fn trun, Tikl says, t`n `nart bust
stnameastjy ghkeimn ik `ib.
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Ik baky ways, by eabijy akm I wnrn afjn th imnktiey wit`
Njioa`s pjic`t. ]`n frhhl `am mrinm ehr us akm t`n ravnks `am ajj
jnet as wnjj. ]`is is w`nk t`n ruffnr bnnts t`n rham, t`n ujtibatntnst he hur eait` ik Chm. Sn wijj lkhw at t`n nkm ie hur trust is ik
t`n Jhrm, hr wn arn bnrnjy eair wnat`nr G`ristiaks.
Nvnry G`ristiak, I fnjinvn, enars th fn ik sug` a situatihk. Fut ie
wn wnrn, hur bikms whujm bhst jilnjy fn mistragtnm. Akm ikstnam
he waitikc patinktjy ehr t`n Jhrm, it whujm fn whkmnrikc w`at th mh
knxt.
Njioa` whln up hkn bhrkikc akm ehukm t`at t`n frhhl, `is
pribary shurgn he sustnkakgn, `am ghbpjntnjy mrinm up. S`at wijj
`n mh knxt8 S`nrn wijj `n ch8 Hr bhrn prngisnjy, w`nrn gak `nch8 @n bust khw taln battnrs ikth `is hwk `akms. Fut `n mhnskt.
Sn arn kht thjm `hw jhkc fnehrn t`n knxt whrm he t`n Jhrm gabn th
`ib, fut wn lkhw t`at Njioa` waitnm.
]`n Tsajbist tnjjs us w`at `appnks th t`hsn w`h wait patinktjy
ehr t`n Jhrm?
I waitnm patinktjy ehr t`n JHVM< `n ikgjiknm th bn akm
`narm by gry.
@n mrnw bn up erhb t`n pit he mnstrugtihk, hut he t`n biry
fhc, akm snt by ennt uphk a rhgl, balikc by stnps sngurn.
@n put a knw shkc ik by bhut`, a shkc he praisn th hur
Chm.
Baky wijj snn akm enar, akm put t`nir trust ik t`n JHVM.
(Tsajb =4?1-7)
]`nk whrm he t`n Jhrm gabn th \Njioa`R, s`hwikc t`at Chm
`am kht ehrchttnk akm @n knvnr ehrcnts th fn cragihus th @is
hwk. Akm ie Njioa` `am ikmnnm talnk battnrs ikth `is hwk `akmsakm mim `is fnst ehr `ibsnje, `n whujm `avn rnajiznm `is ehjjy khw.
Tikl writns?
Ik chikc th G`nrit` t`n prhp`nt `am agtnm ukmnr Mivikn
hrmnrs, akm t`nrnehrn was ukmnr Chms spngiaj garn. Ghujm `n,
t`nk, ghbn th aky rnaj `arb ukmnr sug` cuarmiaks`ip8 @n
bust t`nrnehrn rnbaik w`nrn `n is uktij Chm mirngts `ib th
jnavn t`n pjagn, kh battnr `hw ukpjnasakt ghkmitihks bay
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fnghbn. Wh wit` us. S`nk it is gjnar t`at Chm `as pjagnm us
w`nrn wn arn, t`nrn wn bust, "Afimn" (1 Ghr. 3?64).
Vnamikc a jittjn eurt`nr, yhu wijj misghvnr t`at Njioa` mim bnnt a
wimhw as `n nktnrnm t`n gity _arnp`at`. Fut th `is `hrrhr akm th
hurs as wnjj, ie wn wnrn Njioa` t`is wimhw was as phhr as phhr
gak cnt. At t`n tibn he `nr nkghuktnr wit` t`n prhp`nt, s`n was
cat`nrikc stigls th prnparn a bnaj t`at s`n akm `nr shk whujm nat
it akm min.
S`at was Chm t`iklikc, snkmikc t`n prhp`nt th a phhr wimhw
w`h ghujm `armjy sustaik `nrsnje akm `nr shk8 Fut w`nk yhu t`ikl
afhut it, t`is is t`n `ajjbarl he Chm? ibphssifjn situatihks. ]`nbhrn mnspnratn t`n situatihk, t`n crnatnr t`n biragjn t`at ghbns hut
he it whujm fn.
Njioa` was kht bhvnm fy t`n mirn strait he t`n wimhw. It was a
snvnrn tnstikc ehr Njioa`, kht hkjy th taln t`n ohurkny t`rhuc` t`n
mnsnrt fut ajsh th nktnr ikth ak nxpnrinkgn t`at hpphsnm `is katuraj
ikstikgts akm rnjicihus traikikc. @nrn `n was ik _arnp`at`, wit` kh
agquaiktakgns, akm `avikc th fn mnpnkmnkt hk a Cnktijn ik a pacak
gity. Vnbnbfnrikc t`n whrm he Chm th `ib, Njioa` ikstrugtnm t`n
wimhw th civn `ib shbnt`ikc th nat akm mrikl. Ik mhikc sh, it was
kht Njioa` t`at ghbbakmnm t`n wimhw, fut Chm, ehr `n `am saim, I
wijj ghbbakm a wimhw t`nrn th ennm yhu.
Khw I lkhw w`y Chm mim kht ajjhw bn th raisn eukms ehr by
eabijy, hr nvnk th s`arn t`n knnms t`at wn `avn wit` ht`nrs. Ie wn
mim sh, pnhpjn whujm civn hut he pity akm ghbpassihk akm, pnr`aps,
muty. S`at cjhry whujm Chm `avn ik t`is8 Fut ie kh `ubak neehrt
was appjinm akm ynt pnhpjn wnrn bhvnm th civn, ajj cjhry whujm ch
th Chm. Akm t`is was w`at `appnknm murikc hur SijmnrknssOhurkny. Chm sphln th varihus ikmivimuajs afhut us akm, ik shbn
gasns, ikstrugtnm t`nb th civn spngieig abhukts he bhkny th us. Ajj
t`n w`ijn t`ny wnrn ukawarn he hur partigujar knnms. I ab sh cjam
t`at t`ny cavn ik eait` akm ik hfnminkgn th t`n Jhrm. ]`ny wnrn
fhjm akm enarjnss, jiln t`n wimhw ik _arnp`at`. ]`ny shwnm w`at
jittjn t`ny `am ikth t`n bak he Chm.
S`nk t`n wimhw shwnm ikth Njioa`, s`n sufsnqunktjy rnapnm ak
abazikc `arvnst. ]`n Fifjn tnjjs us t`at, s`n akm `n akm `nr
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+=
`husn`hjm atn ehr baky mays. ]`n oar he ejhur was kht spnkt,
knit`nr mim t`n ouc he hij fnghbn nbpty, agghrmikc th t`n whrm he
t`n JHVM t`at `n sphln fy Njioa`.Mh yhu `avn a knnm8 Arn yhu ik jagl8 Mh w`at t`is wimhw mim?
shw a chhm snnm, akm ik mun snashk yhu wijj rnap a `arvnst.
Onsus prhbisnm t`at w`nk yhu civn, it wijj fn civnk th yhu.
Chhm bnasurn, prnssnm mhwk, s`alnk thcnt`nr, rukkikc hvnr, wijj
fn put ikth yhur jap. Ehr wit` t`n bnasurn yhu usn it wijj fn
bnasurnm fagl th yhu. (Juln 5?79)
]ry it.
Knnmjnss th say, a jnsshk hk Whwikc akm Vnapikc whujm fnikghbpjntn wit`hut bnktihkikc t`n whrl he hur Jhrm Onsus G`rist.
S`nk eagnm wit` eivn t`husakm `ukcry bnk (kht ikgjumikc
whbnk akm g`ijmrnk), @n thhl a fhys jukg`, eivn jhavns akm twh
eis`, akm cavn t`akls. Ik mhikc sh, @n was shwikc a snnm. Ik t`at
sabn may, as was nxpngtnm w`nknvnr yhu shw a snnm, @n rnapnm a
`arvnst. ]`nrn was bhrn t`ak nkhuc` ehhm th ennm t`hsn w`h wnrn
prnsnkt t`at may.
]`n crnatnst akm bhst prngihus snnm Onsus shwnm bhrn
prngihus akm phtnkt t`ak akyhkn gak shw was @ibsnje. S`nk @n
saim, ^kjnss a craik he w`nat eajjs ikth t`n nart` akm mins, it
rnbaiks ajhkn< fut ie it mins, it fnars bug` eruit, @n was spnalikc
he @ibsnje, t`at ik @is mnat` baky wijj rngnivn jien ntnrkaj (Oh`k
16?6=). @is jien was fut a sbajj snnm, shwk ik tnars fut rnapnm ik
rnohigikc (Tsa 165?>).
Ie yhu wis` th jnark bhrn afhut Whwikc akm Vnapikc, I whujm
nkghuracn yhu th rnam t`n fhhl he t`n sabn titjn fy M. J. Bhhmy.
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G`aptnr >
Nic`ty Mhjjars
]`nrn was a rnashk t`n Jhrm startnm th tnag` by wien akm I afhut
t`n spirituaj prikgipjn he Whwikc akm Vnapikc ik 644>. Whvnrnickjy,
@n lknw t`at wn whujm knnm it vnry shhk.
Whwikc akm rnapikc was kht ak hptihk ehr us aetnr wn
rnturknm th Wikcaphrn. Sn wnrn mhwk th hur jast ghupjn he
t`husakm mhjjars, akm hur bhkt`jy nxpnksns was t`rnn tibns t`at.
Sn startnm th shw ikth chhm crhukm? bikistrins t`at wnrn mhikc
chhm whrl akm fnarikc jastikc eruit. Akm fngausn wn shwnm ikth
t`nsn bikistrins, t`nir eruit was hur eruit thh.Sn ajsh shwnm ikth ikmivimuajs. Wpngieigajjy, wn shwnm
ikth a Wikcaphrnak bissihkary eabijy ik G`ika w`h wnrn
supphrtnm fy a bnca-g`urg` ik Wikcaphrn, akm t`nk t`ny wnrn kht.
Sn shwnm th t`n tukn he a enw `ukmrnm mhjjars bhkt`jy. ]`n
tnbptatihk th put Wnje fnehrn ht`nrs was strhkc ajj t`n tibn, fut wn
suggnnmnm ik hvnrghbikc it fy t`n cragn he Chm. Sn shwnm nvnk
t`huc` t`nrn wnrn tibns wn mim kht `avn nkhuc` ehr hursnjvns. Ie
wn fnjinvnm t`at Whwikc akm Vnapikc is a spirituaj prikgipjn, wn
`am th s`hw it fy hur agtihks< kht fy hur whrms hkjy.Nvnry bhkt`, wit`hut eaij akm jiln gjhglwhrl, wn rnapnm a
`arvnst prhphrtihkaj th w`at wn `am shwk ik t`n prnvihus bhkt`. It
waskt a t`irty, hr sixty, hr a `ukmrnm ehjm `arvnst< it was tnk tibns
w`at wn `am shwk, a biragjn khknt`njnss. Ehr t`n knxt t`rnn ynars,
t`is was t`n way ajj hur knnms wnrn bnt.
May aetnr may, t`n Jhrm tnstnm us th snn ie wn trujy
fnjinvnm @is Shrm. Bhkt` aetnr bhkt`, wn ehukm @is Shrm th fn
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trun akm trustwhrt`y. Fut oust th fn surn, Chm tnstnm us hkn bhrn
tibn. ]`is tibn ik a fic way.
]`nrn was a tibn ik hur ohurkny w`nk wn wnrn sgrapikc t`n
fhtthb he t`n farrnj. Hur fakl agghukt was nbpty (as it `as fnnk
ehr a w`ijn khw), akm aetnr cat`nrikc ajj t`n g`akcn wn ghujm mic
hut he hur phglnts, wn hkjy `am nic`ty mhjjars jnet.
Tausn ehr a bhbnkt akm asl yhursnje S`at whujm I `avn
mhkn ik t`is situatihk8 Unry katurajjy, wn whujm t`ikl he ways th
strntg` nvnry mhjjar akm nvnry gnkt. Sn bic`t nvnk fncik th
mistikcuis` fntwnnk knnms akm wakts, kngnssitins akm juxury, akm
spnkm hkjy hk w`at is knnmnm. Ik tnrbs he ehhm, wn whujm `avn thfn ghktnkm wit` `awlnr ehhm akm lhpi-h, ikstnam he BgMhkajms
akm Wtarfugls. Mnspnratn tibns gajj ehr mnspnratn bnasurns. Whbn
bic`t fnc, fhrrhw, hr pray. Sn, hk t`n ht`nr `akm, mngimnm th shw.
Ehr us, a snnm is kht`ikc jnss t`at eiety mhjjars. Wh, wn
shwnm eiety he t`n nic`ty mhjjars wn `am ikth a G`ristiak bikistry.
Khw t`at wnvn chkn erhb t`n eryikc pak akm ikth t`n eirn, wn
ghujm hkjy wait akm snn t`n sajvatihk he t`n Jhrm.
S`at `appnknm th us hvnr t`n knxt snvnk mays was
kht`ikc s`hrt he a biragjn. Ik eagt, I whujm say t`at wn `am a snrins
he biragjns t`at wnnl.
Sn nxpnrinkgnm eirst`akm Eirst Likcs 13, w`nk Chm snkt
ravnks th ennm @is prhp`nt Njioa`. May aetnr may, erinkms whujm gajj
hk us nit`nr th visit hr th ikvitn us th a bnaj. S`nknvnr shbnhkn
visitnm us, wn ajbhst ajways nkm up fnikc trnatnm th a bnaj ik a
rnstaurakt. Wikgn wn `am thjm kh hkn afhut hur gurrnkt akm mirn
situatihk, t`nsn wnrn kht agts he pity hr ghbpassihk. ]`ny wnrn t`n
agts he Chm w`h bamn ajj t`ikcs whrl thcnt`nr ehr hur chhm.Ajt`huc` wn startnm t`n wnnl wit` hkjy t`irty mhjjars, wn
nkmnm t`n wnnl wit` t`irty-eivn.
Fjnssnm fn t`n JHVM, ehr `n `as whkmrhusjy s`hwk `is
stnameast jhvn th bn w`nk I was ik a fnsincnm gity. (Tsajb 71?61)
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Fifjigaj Fumcntikc
]`n Fifjn is a vnry pragtigaj fhhl. Ie wn whujm hkjy talntibn th rnam akm stumy it, akm pray th t`n @hjy Wpirit th civn us
rnvnjatihk, wn whujm fn afjn th fnkneit bug` erhb it. Fy t`n @hjy
Wpirit, I saw t`n bhmnj ehr Fifjigaj Fumcntikc?
@n w`h suppjins snnm th t`n shwnr akm frnam ehr ehhm wijj
suppjy akm bujtipjy yhur snnm ehr shwikc akm ikgrnasn t`n
`arvnst he yhur ric`tnhusknss. (6 Ghr 9?14)
I jnarknm th snn nvnryt`ikc I rngnivn as ghbprisikc twh phrtihks?
snnm akm frnam. Frnam is ehr ehhm, akm snnm is ehr shwikc.^sikc t`n nxabpjn I usnm narjinr he ak appjn, ie yhu atn t`n appjn
wit` its snnms yhu whujm kht `avn aky appjns th nat aetnr t`at. Fut
ie yhu atn t`n appjn akm shwnm its snnms, yhu whujm `avn kht oust
hkn hr twh appjns ik t`n euturn< yhu whujm `avn pjnkty. Ik t`n
sabn way, ie yhu spnkm ajj t`at yhu `avn thmay yhu wijj nkm up
wit` kht`ikc thbhrrhw. Fut ie yhu shw shbnt`ikc thmay, nvnk a
snnm, yhu wijj `avn a `arvnst ik mun snashk.
I bust gjariey t`at ikvnstbnkts, sug` as ik sthgls akm sug`, is
kht Whwikc. Ik ikvnstikc, t`n bhkny yhu ikvnst rnbaiks yhurs< yhu
`avn kht civnk it away, it `as bnrnjy fnnk rn-ajjhgatnm. ]h shw,
yhu bust gast yhur frnam uphk t`n watnr (Nggj 11?1). Akm w`nk
yhu mh, yhu wijj eikm it aetnr baky mays. ]`ats a prhbisn.
Ajt`huc` wn lknw t`at ikvnstikc was kht t`n sabn as
Whwikc, wn, ambitnmjy, mim maffjn shbn wit` ikvnstbnkts murikc
t`is snashk. Sn wnrn kht, `hwnvnr, jhhlikc ehr it, fut shbn`hw it
ehukm us.
]`rhuc` a erinkm, wn jnarknm afhut a gnrtaik ikvnstbnkt(w`ig` I wijj kht kabn `nrn) t`at was a surn t`ikc. (I ab
ghkvikgnm t`at t`nrn arn kh sug` t`ikc as a surn t`ikc ik
ikvnstbnkts.) ]`is ikvnstbnkt prhbisns a crnat mivimnk< phtnktiajjy
turkikc us ikth bijjihkairns. It was thh chhm th fn trun, ynt wn
fnjinvnm akm fhuc`t (ikth) it. Sn enjt t`at hur `narts wnrn ik t`n
ric`t pjagns fngausn wn wnrn kht chikc th spnkm ajj he t`n bijjihks
hk hursnjvns. Sn `am a visihk he t`n t`ikcs wn ghujm mh ehr t`n
saln he Chms likcmhb< `hw wn whujm fn a fjnssikc th sh baky
ieyhuspnkmajjt`atyhu`
avnthmayyhuwijj
nkmupwit`kht`ik
cthbhrrhw.
Futieyhushw
shbnt`ikcthmay,
nvnkas
nnm,yhuwijj`avna`arvnstikmunsnashk.
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pnhpjn. He ghursn, wn thh wijj fn fjnssnm. ]`n mays he jagl akm
wakt wijj fn ik t`n past ehr us. ]h shbn mncrnn, wn enjt wn
mnsnrvnm it< aetnr ajj wnvn civnk hur jivns (sh ear) th t`n snrvign heChm akm sueenrnm.
Mays turknm ikth bhkt`s, akm t`n bhkt`s rhjjnm ikth
ynars. Nvnrymay wn whujm pray, prhgjaib, akm mngjarn ]`is is t`n
may wn wijj rngnivn hur ik`nritakgn. Jhhlikc fagl, I gak jauc` at
hursnjvns. Sn wnrn `hpneuj< wn wnrn mnspnratn< akm wn wnrn
mnjusihkaj. Eikajjy, wn `am th nbfragn t`n eagt t`at t`is was kht
chikc th fn. Sn wnrn kht chikc th fn rig`. ]`n Sijmnrknss Ohurkny
ghktikuns ehr us.
Ik gasn yhu arn t`iklikc t`at yhu `avn kht fnnk gajjnm th jivn fy
eait` t`n way baky ht`nrs akm I arn mhikc, t`ikl acaik. ]`n oust
s`ajj jivn fy eait` akm wit`hut eait` it is ibphssifjn th pjnasn
Chm. Tjnasn mh kht t`ikl t`at yhu mh kht knnm th jivn fy eait`
fngausn yhu `avn a ohf< ie yhu gakkht jivn fy eait` wit`a ohf, `hw
wijj yhu jivn fy eait` wit`huta ohf w`nk Chm gajjs8 ]`is, ik by
`ubfjn hpikihk, is w`at prnvnkts baky G`ristiaks ik Wikcaphrn
(akm arhukm t`n whrjm) erhb ehjjhwikc akm eujeijjikc t`nir Chm-
civnk mnstikins.
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G`aptnr 5
Bak s`ajj kht jivn fy frnam ajhkn
S`nrn ik t`n Fifjn gak t`n whrms Bak s`ajj kht jivn fy frnam
ajhkn, fut fy nvnry whrm t`at ghbns erhb t`n bhut` he Chm fn
ehukm8 Ie yhu akswnrnm t`at t`ny wnrn sphlnk fy Onsus murikc @is
]nbptatihk ik t`n wijmnrknss (as rnghrmnm fy Batt`nw), yhu wijj
fn ric`t. Fut mim yhu lkhw t`at Onsus was agtuajjy quhtikc erhb
t`n Hjm ]nstabnkt8 ]`n fhhl he Mnutnrhkhby, g`aptnr 0 akm
vnrsn 7, th fn prngisn.
]`n ghktnxt is afhut Isranjs Sijmnrknss Ohurkny t`at
jastnm a thtaj he ehrty ynars. Akm, as I `avn saim prnvihusjy, Chmspurphsn ehr t`is ohurkny was th tnst akm snn w`at was ik t`nir
`narts< th lkhw ie t`ny whujm lnnp @is ghbbakmbnkts hr kht. Hr
wijj t`ny ghktikun th fn garkaj snttikc t`nir bikm hk t`n ejns` akm
kht t`n Shrm he Chm.
Fifjigaj @isthry prhvns t`at t`n Isranjitns ghbpjntnjy
bissnm t`n phikt he t`n ohurkny. ]`ny eaijnm th jnark t`n bhst
ibphrtakt jnsshk? th trust akm hfny. Ikstnam, t`ny ghbpjaiknm,
burburnm akm crubfjnm ikgnstaktjy.
It is nasy th gritigizn t`n Isranjitns w`h wnrn ik t`nwijmnrknss, ak ukik`afitafjn pjagn, w`nk yhu arn `afitatikc ik
rnjativn ghbehrt akm afukmakgn. Tut yhursnje ik t`nir s`hns ehr a
bhbnkt akm whkmnr ie yhu wijj kht rnagt ik t`n sabn way t`ny mim.
Ik t`n wijmnrknss, yhu arn fnikc surrhukmnm fy kht`ikc-knss.
Kht`ikc crhws ik t`n wijmnrknss. Kht`ikc survivns t`nrn. ]`nrn arn
kh bajjs, kh giknbas, kh supnrbarlnts w`nrn yhu gak cnt yhur
eavhritn ehhm stuees. Eurt`nrbhrn, t`nrn is kht`ikc th mh.
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Sn gakkht ghbpjntnjy fjabn t`nb ehr rnbikisgikc afhut
t`n chhm jien t`ny usnm th `avn? t`n eis`, t`n gugubfnrs, t`n
bnjhks, t`n jnnls, t`n hkihks, akm t`n carjig, w`ig` t`ny atn ernnjyik Ncypt. ]`hsn w`h arn ernqunkt travnjnrs ukmnrstakm w`at it is
jiln th biss t`n jhgaj ehhm w`nk ik a ehrnick jakm. Jilnwisn, aetnr
ehur `ukmrnm ynars ik Ncypt, t`n Isranjitns `am crhwk aggusthb th
gnrtaik ehhms. Agquirikc a knw tastn ehr bakka, ehr nxabpjn
whujm taln shbn tibn.
]h baln battnrs whrsn, t`ny mim kht g`hhsn th fn ik t`n
wijmnrknss< t`ny wnrn jnm t`nrn fy Bhsns (w`h was sibpjy
hfnyikc Chms ikstrugtihks).
Sn (by wien akm I) mim kht cnt th g`hhsn t`n tibikc hrt`n muratihk he hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny. It was g`hsnk shvnrnickjy
fy Chm. I mim whkmnr w`y @n hkjy jnm us ikth t`n Sijmnrknss at
t`is stacn he hur jivns< partigujarjy w`nk wnvn fnnk G`ristiaks ehr
hvnr 74 ynars. ]`n akswnr? wn whujm kht `avn fnnk afjn th survivn
it. It whujm `avn mnstrhynm hur eait`, bug` jiln w`at `appnknm th
t`n eirst cnknratihk he Isranjitns. Sn knnmnm th lkhw Chm th shbn
nxtnkt fnehrn wn ghujm fn tnstnm ik sug` iktnksn mncrnn. Fut
`avikc chkn t`rhuc` it, wn arn cjam Chm jnm us t`nrn akm t`rhuc`
it. Sn `ic`jy rnghbbnkm it th nvnry G`ristiak.
Murikc hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, wn ehukm hursnjvns
aslikc qunstihks sug` as S`at wijj wn nat8 S`at wijj wn
mrikl8 akm S`at wijj wn wnar8 Hur maijy praynr was ]`n
Jhrms Traynr. S`nk wn gabn th t`n part? Civn us t`is may hur
maijy frnam, wn praynm nvnk jhumnr. Sn trujy thhl hkn may at a
tibn. Sn jnarknm, as Onsus saim, th kht fn akxihus afhut thbhrrhw
ehr thbhrrhw wijj fn akxihus ehr itsnje. Ikmnnm, pujjikc t`rhuc`
nag` may was `arm nkhuc` ehr us.Ajt`huc` wn mim kht `avn a cravn jagl he ehhm, wn mim
kht `avn pjnkty. Fut w`at rnajjy sustaiknm us was t`n Shrm he
Chm. ]`rhuc` it ajj Chm strnkct`nknm us wit` baky assurakgns akm
ikstrugtihks. Tsajb 73 was hur akg`hr t`rhuc`hut t`is pnrihm. Jnt
bn s`arn a enw vnrsns erhb t`is whkmnreuj Tsajb t`at `avn rnajjy
bikistnrnm th us. I trust t`ny wijj bikistnr th yhu as wnjj.
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]rust ik On`hva`, akm mh chhm< Mwnjj ik t`n jakm, akm
ennm hk `is eait`eujknss. Mnjic`t t`ysnje ajsh ik On`hva`< Akm `n
wijj civn t`nn t`n mnsirns he t`y `nart. Ghbbit t`y way ukthOn`hva`< ]rust ajsh ik `ib, akm `n wijj frikc it th pass. (vnrsn 7->)
Gnasn erhb akcnr, akm ehrsaln wrat`? Ernt kht t`ysnje, it
tnkmnt` hkjy th nvij-mhikc. (vnrsn 0)
Fnttnr is a jittjn t`at t`n ric`tnhus `at` t`ak t`n
afukmakgn he baky wiglnm. (vnrsn 15)
]`ny s`ajj kht fn put th s`abn ik t`n tibn he nvij< Akm ik
t`n mays he eabikn t`ny s`ajj fn satiseinm. (vnrsn 19)
I `avn fnnk yhukc, akm khw ab hjm< Ynt `avn I kht snnk
t`n ric`tnhus ehrsalnk, Khr `is snnm fnccikc frnam. (vnrsn 6>)
Unrsn 6> `as spngiaj bnakikc th us fngausn it is afhut hur
g`ijmrnk, akm wn wnrn vnry ghkgnrknm afhut hur g`ijmrnk, t`at t`ny
whujm fn sueenrikc hk hur agghukt.
Ghbikc fagl th t`n ]nbptatihk he Onsus, Watak waskt g`ajjnkcikc
Onsus minity Ie yhu trujy arn t`n Whk he Chm, mh t`is as bug`
as `n was tnbptikc Onsus th baln usn he @is mnity Wikgn yhu arn
t`n Whk he Chm turk t`nsn sthkns ikth frnam akm yhu wijj kht fn
`ukcry akybhrn. ]`rhuc`hut hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny, wn wnrn
tnbptnm th mh w`atnvnr was ik hur phwnr th bnnt hur hwk knnms,
th savn hursnjvns akm nkm t`is sueenrikc. Tut sibpjy, wn wnrn
tnbptnm th cnt a ohf th nark a stnamy, afnit sbajj, ikghbn. ]`akls
th t`is sthry afhut Onsus tnbptatihk, wn jnarknm t`at t`nrn was
shbnt`ikc bhrn ibphrtakt t`ak cratieyikc hur `ukcnr. It was th
ukmnrstakm akm mh Chms Sijj.
Onsus mim kht nkm up ik t`n wijmnrknss fy aggimnkt. @n mimkht jhsn `is way aetnr jnavikc t`n Ohrmak. It was t`n @hjy Wpirit
w`h jnm @ib t`nrn. Erhb t`is, Onsus ukmnrsthhm t`at @n was t`nrn
ehr a purphsn. Nvnk `is `ukcnr was purphsneuj. Akm as jhkc as
Chms purphsn `am kht fnnk eujeijjnm, Onsus was wijjikc th
trustikcjy sueenr. ]h afhrt khw whujm bnak s`hrt-girguitikc Chms
pjak akm phtnktiajjy civikc Watak t`n vigthry `n sh waktnm t`huc`
ukmnsnrvnm.
]`aklstht`issthryafhu
tOnsustnbptatihk
,wnjnarknmt`att
`nrnwasshbnt`ikcbhrn
ibphrtaktt`akcratieyikc
hur`ukcnr.Itwas
thukmnrstakmakm
mhChmsSijj.
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As ehr by wien akm I, wn lknw t`at hur Sijmnrknss
Ohurkny was part he Chms Sijj ehr us. Sn mim kht g`hhsn th
ukmnrch it, fut wn wnrn g`hsnk< t`at itsnje was crnat privijncn. Akmuktij Chm says It is hvnr, wn wnrn prnparnm th pnrsnvnrn akm
ennm hk @is eait`eujknss. Hur spirituaj crhwt` murikc t`is pnrihm
was bhrn t`ak ik t`n twnkty-eivn ynars prihr th t`is put thcnt`nr.
At t`n nkm he it, I `avn th acrnn wit` t`n Tsajbist w`h saim, By
sueenrikc was chhm ehr bn, ehr it tauc`t bn th pay attnktihk th yhur
mngrnns (Tsajb 119?31).
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G`aptnr 3
Ghksimnr t`n Firms akm Jijins
I whujm fn jyikc th yhu ie I saim t`at jnarkikc th jivn fy eait` is
nasy. It iskt.
It iskt nasy fngausn it chns acaikst nvnry eifrn he yhur
fnikc akm nvnryt`ikc t`at yhu fnjinvn ik, sug` as? kht`ikc ghbns
erhb kht`ikc< t`at kht`ikc is ernn ik t`is whrjm< akm t`hsn w`h
wis` th nat bust whrl. ]h jivn fy eait`, hkn ajbhst `as th pus` ajj
t`nsn asimn akm ernn-eajj ikth t`n arbs he Chm. Ie yhu t`ikl fukcnn-
oubpikc is sgary, wait tijj yhu try jivikc fy eait`.
Akm as ie fattjikc acaikst hur bikms is kht `arm nkhuc`,pnhpjn arhukm yhu gak fn ghuktnm hk th gast mhufts hk yhu, akm
nvnk t`rhw sthkns at yhu. Fnjinvn bn, wn `am hur eair s`arn he
t`is. ]`nrn wnrn t`hsn w`h ambirnm hur eait`, t`nk t`nrn wnrn
t`hsn w`h t`huc`t wn wnrn prnsubptuhus akm jazy.
S`nk wn startnm hk hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny akm was
jnarkikc th jivn fy eait`, wn mim kht `avn past nxpnrinkgns th eajj
fagl uphk. Ie wn `am snnk Chm prhvimn ehr us eirst`akm, it whujm
`avn `njpnm us th trust @ib acaik. @nkgn, t`n nxpnrinkgn he Chm is
as ibphrtakt as t`n lkhwjnmcn he @ib.Hkn he t`n rnashks t`n Isranjitns turknm th t`n whrs`ip he
Faaj, t`n chm he t`n `arvnst, was fngausn t`ny `am kht snnk Chm
pnrehrb whkmnrs ik t`is arna. Faaj, hk t`n ht`nr `akm, was lkhwk
th fn afjn th aeengt t`n `arvnst. It whujm fn `akmy, sh th spnal, th
`avn `ib hk yhur simn.
]`huc` wn startnm hur ohurkny wit` `armjy aky
nxpnrinkgn he Chm ik prhvimikc ehr hur maijy knnms, wn `am pjnkty
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he t`nb fy t`n nkm he t`n ohurkny. Akm wn `avn fnnk nxtrnbnjy
fjnssnm fngausn he it. (Gak yhu tnjj8)
It waskt wit`hut a prign. ]`n prign was sueenrikc akm`arms`ips. Maijy wn struccjnm wit` mhuft akm enar< fut t`at mrhvn
us th crhw mnnp ik Chms Shrm. Sn nkvinm hur erinkms w`h ghujm
aeehrm shbn juxury< fut t`at tauc`t us th mnjic`t ik t`n Jhrm.
]h fn `hknst, by wien struccjnm bhrn t`ak I mim. @nr
batnrkaj ikstikgts bamn `nr whrry ghkstaktjy afhut t`n eabijy akm,
ik partigujar, t`n g`ijmrnk. It whujm fn wrhkc th say t`at I waskt
ghkgnrknm at ajj< I was vnry ghkgnrknm ikmnnm. Fut lkhwikc t`at
t`is snashk was part he Chms Sijj ehr us, I was assurnm t`at @n
was watg`ikc hvnr t`nb as ie t`ny wnrn @is hwk. Ik trut`, Chmmhns kht `avn aky crakmg`ijmrnk. By g`ijmrnk arn t`n g`ijmrnk he
Chm thh.
]`n sueenrikc akm `arms`ip wn `am th nkmurn was kht`ikc
ghbparnm th t`n surpassikc whrt` he t`n iktibatn lkhwjnmcn he
Chm wnvn caiknm ik t`n prhgnss. Ik t`n nkm, wn `am th say t`at it
was ajj whrt`w`ijn.
I jnarknm t`at eait` akm enar arn agtuajjy t`n sabn t`ikcs. ]`ny
nxpnkm hur nknrcins akm it talns as bug` nknrcy th jivn fy eait` as
it mhns th jivn ik enar. Wh t`n g`hign is rnajjy hurs? `hw wn whujm
rat`nr jivn. Ehr bn, I g`hsn th jivn fy eait`. Ik balikc t`at
mngisihk, enar akm mhuft mh kht authbatigajjy vaphurisn ikth t`ik
air. ]`ny `am th fn ghkerhktnm akm hvnrghbn. Akm t`n way th
hvnrghbn t`nb is th lnnp yhur nyns hk t`n Jhrm.
Tntnr mim kht sikl ikth t`n watnr nvnk t`huc` t`n wavns
wnrn `ic` arhukm `ib. ]`at was fngausn `is nyns wnrn hk `is
Jhrm. Fut t`n bhbnkt t`at `n fncak th khtign t`n wavns akm t`nwikm, `n fncak th sikl. ]`is is t`n pigturn wn ajj bust `avn ik hur
bikms ie wn wis` th wajl fy eait`.
]h wajl fy eait`, yhu gakkht ajjhw yhursnje th fn bhvn
fy w`at yhusnn, w`at yhu `nar, w`at yhuennjhr t`ikl. Yhu bust
hkjy fn bhvnm fy t`n Shrm he Chm. Ie Chm saim it (akm I fnjinvn
it), t`nk t`at snttjns it!
ittaln
sasbug`nknrcythjivnfyeait`asit
mhnsthjivnikenar.
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]`nrn wnrn tibns murikc hur Sijmnrknss Ohurkny t`at wn
qunstihknm ie Chm whujm rnajjy bnnt ajj hur knnms, nspngiajjy w`nk
wn arn kht mhikc akyt`ikc th `njp hursnjvns. Nvnk t`huc` t`nrn iskh sug` vnrsn ik t`n Fifjn t`at says Chm hkjy `njps t`hsn w`h
`njps t`nbsnjvns, baky G`ristiaks snnb th t`ikl (t`at Chm
t`ikls) t`at way.
]`n Fifjn tnjjs us t`at Chm `njps t`hsn w`h arn `njpjnss,
w`h gakkht `njp t`nbsnjvns. Akm w`nk t`n `njpjnss apprhag` t`n
t`rhkn he cragn, t`ny wijj rngnivn bnrgy akm eikm cragn th `njp
ik tibn he knnm (@nfrnws =?15).
Hkn tibn, w`nk I was snrihusjy mhuftikc ie wn wnrn
mhikc t`n ric`t t`ikc, I aslnm Chm? Sijj Yhu rnajjy ennm bn (akmby eabijy) nvnk ie I mh kht`ikc8
Akm t`n Jhrm akswnrnm Yns!
]`nk @n phiktnm bn th t`n passacn he Wgripturn ik
Batt`nw 5 akm vnrsn 65, w`nrn Onsus saim?
Jhhl at t`n firms he t`n air? t`ny knit`nr shw khr rnap
khr cat`nr ikth farks, akm ynt yhur `navnkjy Eat`nr ennms t`nb.
Arn yhu kht he bhrn vajun t`ak t`ny8
I ab whrt` bhrn th t`n Eat`nr t`ak hkn he t`nsn firms (hr ajj he
t`nb put thcnt`nr). Ie @n is wijjikc th ennm t`nb may aetnr may,
nvnk w`nk t`ny knit`nr thij khr spik, khr cat`nr ikth farks, t`nk
@n wijj surnjy ennm bn ajsh. ]`at was t`n bnssacn Chm waktnm bn
th rngnivn.
A ghupjn he vnrsns jatnr, Onsus saim?
Akm w`y arn yhu akxihus afhut gjht`ikc8 Ghksimnr t`n
jijins he t`n einjm, `hw t`ny crhw? t`ny knit`nr thij khr spik, ynt I
tnjj yhu, nvnk Whjhbhk ik ajj `is cjhry was kht arraynm jiln hkn het`nsn.
Appjyikc t`n sabn jhcig as fnehrn? ie Chm mrnssns t`n
crass he t`n einjm, w`ig` is ajivn ehr hkjy a s`hrt w`ijn, wijj `n kht
bug` bhrn gjht`n bn8
Akm t`n akswnr `as th fn a rnshukmikc, Yns!
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Ik spitn he ajj t`nsn assurakgns, I stijj wnkt a`nam th try th
`njp bysnje fy rncistnrikc as a tuthr wit` a ]uitihk Gnktnr. I mim
kht hkjy rncistnr wit` hkn tuitihk gnktnr, fut t`rnn.It is saim t`at S`nk Chm gjhsns a mhhr, @n hpnks a
wikmhw. By nxpnrinkgn was hk t`n ghktrary. I saw t`at S`nk
Chm gjhsns a mhhr, @n ajsh gjhsns t`n wikmhws. ]`n t`ikc is, I mim
kht rngnivn aky gajjs hr nbaijs erhb aky he t`nsn gnktnrs.
Fut as shhk as t`n ohurkny `am nkmnm, t`n gajjs startnm
ghbikc. Fy t`nk, Chm `am ajrnamy hpnknm t`n way ehr bn th fn
caikeujjy nbpjhynm akm bnakikceujjy nkcacnm.
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G`aptnr 0
Misgipjnm fy G`rist
Nvnryhkn is tajlikc afhut Misgipjns`ip, sh bug` sh t`at
t`n whrm `as fnghbn gjig`. It `as ghbn th fn sykhkybhus wit`
prhcrabs akm ghursns. Fut misgipjns`ip is akyt`ikc fut t`at.
I ennj t`at I ab quajieinm th spnal hk t`is sufongt sikgn I
`am fnnk balikc misgipjns sikgn I was ghkvnrtnm.
At acn 1=, I was fhrk acaik. I was ik ak njitn G`ristiak
sg`hhj t`nk, akm a gjassbatn he bikn aslnm ie I whujm mh Fifjn
Wtumy wit` `ib. @n was kh hrmikary cuy< `n was t`n bhst
khthrihus stumnkt ik t`n w`hjn sg`hhj. Knarjy nvnrymay `n whujmfn gajjnm th t`n Trikgipajs heeign ehr hkn heenksn hr akht`nr.
I `am hkjy ghbn th lkhw t`n Jhrm ehr t`rnn bhkt`s fut
t`at mim kht sthp bn erhb acrnnikc th `is rnqunst. Sn bnt
nvnrymay aetnr sg`hhj ehr twh ynars. I sibpjy tauc`t `ib
nvnryt`ikc I lknw (w`ig` waskt bug`). S`ats bhrn, I mimkt
lkhw t`at w`at I was mhikc was gajjnm Misgipjns`ip. I mimkt lkhw
sug` a tnrb nvnk nxistnm uktij bug` jatnr.
I, thh, was fnikc misgipjnm. Ik eagt, I `am a enw chhm
spirituaj jnamnrs w`h jhvnm akm tauc`t bn wnjj. I bust civn t`nbgrnmit ehr w`h Ivn fnghbn thmay.
S`at Ivn hfsnrvnm is t`at w`nknvnr Misgipjns`ip is fnikc
misgussnm, t`n misgussihk mhns kht mnpart erhb t`n `hrizhktaj
mibnksihk? a bak misgipjikc akht`nr. As ibphrtakt as it is hkjy
misgipjns gak baln misgipjns t`nrn is akht`nr mibnksihk th
Misgipjns`ip t`at, Ib aeraim, wnvn bissnm hut ajthcnt`nr. ]`at he,
fnikc misgipjnm fy Chm t`n Eat`nr.
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Tauj, ik Vhbaks 0?69, says t`at Chm `as prn-mnstiknm us
th fn ghkehrbnm th t`n ibacn he @is Whk. Ik s`hrt, @n mnsirns t`at
wn ajj fnghbn jiln G`rist (hr G`rist-jiln). Akm @n lkhws t`at itwhujm kht `appnk katurajjy hk its hwk wit`hut @is ikvhjvnbnkt.
Ikvhjvnbnkt8 ]`ats ric`t. Mhkt t`ikl t`at oust fngausn
Chm prn-mnstiknm shbnt`ikc it wijj ghbpjntnjy ghbn th pass. It is
sibijar th a eat`nr w`hsn mnsirn ehr `is shk is th fn a mhgthr. Fut
t`n shk bic`t `avn mieenrnkt imnas afhut w`at `n wakts th fnghbn
w`nk `n crhws up. Tnrsistnktjy, t`n eat`nr wijj try th pnrsuamn `is
shk fy balikc `ib awarn he ajj t`n fnkneits he t`n bnmigaj
prhenssihk (afhut t`n jivns `n gak savn, t`at is). Ie `n is suggnsseuj,
`is shk wijj g`hhsn th fn a mhgthr.Ik t`n sabn way, Chm is ghkstaktjy whhikc akm jurikc us
thwarms @is chaj ehr us. Ik Taujs whrms? It is Chm w`h whrls ik
yhu, fht` th wijj akm th whrl ehr `is chhm pjnasurn (T`ijippiaks
6?17).
Chm is hur Eat`nr, hur `navnkjy Eat`nr. Akm jiln ajj
eat`nrs, @n `as talnk it uphk @ibsnje th tnag` akm garn ehr t`hsn
w`h arn @is. S`nrn kngnssary, @n wijj nvnk misgipjikn akm pukis`.
Ik ht`nr whrms, @n is hur G`ine Misgipjn-balnr.
]`is is a rnerns`ikc rnvnjatihk. Ehr ajj t`n w`ijn,
G`ristiaks `avn hkjy lkhwk akht`nr pnrshk th fn hur misgipjn-
balnr. ]`is is kht wrhkc< oust ikghbpjntn. A bak bic`t fn
misigpjikc akht`nr bak. Fut t`nrn ghbns a tibn w`nk t`n misgipjn-
balnr bust rnjnasn `is misgipjn fagl th G`rist, t`n G`ine
Misgipjn-balnr. Ie t`n misgipjn-balnr `hjms hk th `is misgipjn, `n
whujm hkjy suggnnm ik t`n nkm ik balikc t`n misigpjn bhrn jiln
`ibsnje, akm kht G`rist. ]`is whujm fn a eaijurn, nvnk a misastnr.
Oust fnehrn Onsus gabn ikth t`n pigturn, Oh`ks (t`nFaptist) bikistry was crhwikc. @n `am baky ehjjhwnrs. Fut ajj t`n
w`ijn, Oh`k was bikmeuj he `is rhjn? t`at `n was bnrnjy t`n vhign
gryikc ik t`n wijmnrknss t`at prnparns t`n way he t`n Jhrm. @n
rnamijy ambits t`at aetnr `ib wijj ghbn hkn w`h is bic`tinr< t`n
strap he w`hsn sakmajs I ab kht whrt`y th sthhp mhwk akm uktin
(Barl 1?3).
]`nk w`nk Onsus eikajjy ghbns ikth t`n pigturn akm fnciks
@is bikistry, baky he Oh`ks misgipjns jnet `ib th ehjjhw Onsus. As
Chmis
hurEat`nr,hur`navnkjyEat`nr.Akm
jilnajjeat`nrs,
@n
`astalnkituphk@ibsnjeth
tnag`akmgarnehrt`hsnw`harn@is.
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t`is was `appnkikc, Oh`k was aslnm? Vaffi, `n w`h was wit` yhu
agrhss t`n Ohrmak, th w`hb yhu fhrn witknssjhhl, `n is
faptizikc, akm ajj arn chikc th `ib. ]h t`is, `n rnpjinm,A pnrshk gakkht rngnivn nvnk hkn t`ikc ukjnss it is civnk
`ib erhb `navnk.
Yhu yhursnjvns fnar bn witknss, t`at I saim, I ab kht t`n
G`rist, fut I `avn fnnk snkt fnehrn `ib.
]`n hkn w`h `as t`n frimn is t`n frimncrhhb. ]`n erinkm
he t`n frimncrhhb, w`h stakms akm `nars `ib, rnohigns crnatjy at
t`n frimncrhhb's vhign. ]`nrnehrn t`is ohy he bikn is khw
ghbpjntn.
@n bust ikgrnasn, fut I bust mngrnasn. (Oh`k 7?60-74)
S`at a bak. Kh whkmnr Onsus jatnr `hkhrs Oh`k wit`
t`nsn whrms? I tnjj yhu, abhkc t`hsn fhrk he whbnk t`nrn is kh
hkn crnatnr t`ak Oh`k" (Juln 3?60).
I `avn ghbn th rnajizn t`at kht hkjy mhns Chm wakt th
pnrshkajjy tnag` akm traik us, @n ajsh `as a gusthbisnm
Misgipjns`ip Gurrigujub ehr nag` hkn he @is g`ijmrnk. ]`ats
fngausn nvnry g`ijm is mieenrnkt erhb t`n ht`nr. ]`n G`urg`,
`hwnvnr, mun th t`n jagl he tibn akm t`n prnssurn th prhmugn
rnsujts, `as mnvnjhpnm a hkn-sizn-eits-ajj typn he Misgipjns`ip
Gurrigujub, w`ig` eajjs s`hrt ik sh baky ways.
]h cnt a snksn he w`at Chms Misgipjns`ip Gurrigujub is
jiln, oust jhhl at `hw Onsus tauc`t akm traiknm t`n ]wnjvn. Fn
garneuj, `hwnvnr, kht th baln a prhcrab hut he it. ]`n bhbnkt
yhu try th mh t`at, yhuvn bissnm t`n phikt. ]`n way Onsus
kurturnm @is misgipjns is mykabig akm jivikc. Trhcrabs, hk t`n
ht`nr `akm, arn ricim akm mnam.Vhbaks 0?1= statns t`at Ajj w`h arn jnm fy t`n Wpirit arn
t`n shks he Chm. ]`is ibpjins t`at ehr a misgipjns`ip th prhmugn
shks, it bust fn jnm fy t`n Wpirit, kht fy a prn-snt pjak.
S`nk I fngabn a fnjinvnr he G`rist at t`n acn he 1=, I was
privijncnm th fn misgipjnm fy a mnmigatnm akm garikc Kavicathr. I
ghktikunm th fn misgipjnm uktij by barriacn. ]`n likm he
misgipjns`ip I ukmnrwnkt `as fnghbn rarn khwamays, nspngiajjy ik
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t`n jhgaj g`urg`. ]`is was t`n rnashk it fngabn a g`ajjnkcn th eikm
a chhm bak he Chm th `njp bn th crhw eurt`nr ik t`n Jhrm. It mim
kht cnt nasinr w`nk I fngabn a bissihkary.Ehr afhut tnk ynars, I praynm akm snarg`nm akm aslnm
varihus hkns, spirituaj ciakts ik by bikm, ie t`ny whujm fn by
bnkthr. Wamjy, nvnry sikcjn hkn he t`nb mngjiknm. ]`n ghuktjnss
akm ghktikuaj rnongtihk bamn bn whkmnr ie it was shbnt`ikc afhut
bn (shbnt`ikc fam) t`at bamn t`nb say kh. ]hmay, I ab surn
t`at t`at waskt t`n gasn.
I mimkt civn up, t`huc`. Nvnk w`nk wn `am nkmnm hur
stikt ik t`n einjm akm rnturknm th Wikcaphrn I ghktikunm th snarg`
ehr a bnkthr. Unry shhk, I t`huc`t t`at I `am ehukm hkn akm `am akhpphrtukity th asl `ib. Fut fnehrn I ghujm php t`n qunstihk, `n
saim t`n ehjjhwikc th bn? Mhkt asl bn th fn yhur bnkthr< yhu
mhkt knnm hkn fngausn Onsus is pnrshkajjy misgipjikc yhu.
@is whrms fhwjnm bn hvnr. I was cjam akm sgarnm at t`n
sabn tibn. Cjam t`at Onsus whujm wakt th misgipjn hkn sug` as I.
Wgarnm I bnak, w`h whujmkt fn sgarnm th fn pnrshkajjy
misgipjnm fy Chm @ibsnje. At t`n sabn tibn, `is whrms ghkshjnm
bn akm nxpjaiknm t`n rnongtihks I rngnivnm. Yhu snn, t`nrn was a
rnashk I apprhag`nm t`hsn I mim th bnkthr bn. Hfvihusjy, t`ny
phssnssnm quajitins t`at I ambirnm akm mnsirnm. ]`n may t`at hkn he
t`nb acrnns th fn by bnkthr whujm fn t`n may I sthp jhhlikc at
Onsus. ]`is was shbnt`ikc Chm mimkt wakt `appnk th bn. Mhkt
bisukmnrstakm, pjnasn. Ib kht acaikst Bnkthrikc< I ab oust tnjjikc
yhu w`at `appnknm th bn. ]`is is kht a prikgipjn hr t`nhjhcy t`at I
ab nsphusikc< it is mnsgriptivn, kht prnsgriptivn.
Chm `as a gusthbiznm Misgipjns`ip Gurrigujub ehr yhu akm it gakfn ghbpjntnm ik a gnrtaik pnrihm he tibn. Ehr t`n ]wnjvn, it was
ghvnrnm ik t`rnn akm a `aje ynars. I fnjinvn t`at t`rnn ynars is oust
afhut t`n tibn t`at a pnrshk gak fn bamn ikth a baturn g`ijm he
Chm. ]`nrn arn, `hwnvnr, baky hfstagjns t`at stakm ik t`n way.
Ibacikn t`at yhu arn t`iklikc he nkrhjjikc yhursnje ikth a
mncrnn prhcrab ik a gnrtaik einjm he stumy. Fnehrn yhu arn a enw
pat`ways. Yhu gak nit`nr nkrhjj ikth a eujj-tibn prhcrab ik w`ig`
yhu wijj ghbpjntn ik t`rnn ynars. Hr, ie yhu prnenr th whrl akm
Chm`a
sagusthbiznmMisgipjns`ipGurrigujubehryhuakmitgakfnghbpjntnmika
gnrtaik
pnrihm
hetibn.
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stumy at t`n sabn tibn, yhu bay g`hhsn a part-tibn ghursn. ]`is
way, yhu wijj rngnivn yhur mncrnn hkjy > th 3 ynars jatnr. ]`nk
acaik, ie yhu arn kht ik a `urry th cnt t`n gnrtieigatn, yhu baynbfarl hk t`n prhcrab at yhur hwk pagn fy attnkmikc hkn bhmujn
at a tibn.
Chms Misgipjns`ip Gurrigujub is fnst mhkn hk a eujj-tibn
fasis, oust jiln w`at t`n ]wnjvn mim. Fut lkhwikc bhmnrk bak akm
t`nir tic`t sg`nmujns, t`is bic`t kht fn enasifjn. ]`n knxt fnst t`ikc
whujm fn th mh it hk a part-tibn fasis. Fut, as it turks hut, bhst
G`ristiaks arn kht nvnk hk t`n part-tibn prhcrab. ]`ny arn, bhrn
jilnjy, attnkmikc hkn bhmujn at a tibn at t`nir hwk ghkvnkinkgn.
Kh whkmnr G`ristiaks arn talikc sh jhkc th baturn.
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G`aptnr 9
Misghvnrikc Isranj
Sit`ik twh wnnls he rnturkikc th Wikcaphrn, I was ikvitnm fy aerinkm th attnkm a Fifjn gjass tauc`t fy a prhbiknkt pasthr ik t`n
gity. Erakljy, I was quitn rnjugtakt th attnkm, kht oust t`is gjass fut
aky gjass. I cunss I oust knnmnm tibn th amoust th fnikc fagl.
Wikcaphrn `am fnghbn quitn strakcn th us wit` t`n summnk ikejux
(mnjucn snnbs th fn t`n bhrn apprhpriatn whrm) he ehrnicknrs.
Whbntibns, w`ijn rimikc ik t`n traiks, I whkmnr ie I was ik
Wikcaphrn at ajj. Fut, t`ats oust bn.
I was ajrnamy rnjugtakt th attnkm t`n Fifjn gjass. Akm w`nk
I ehukm hut w`at t`n thpig was chikc th fn, I was amabakt kht th
ch.
]`n pasthr was chikc th fn tnag`ikc hk t`n Fhhl he
Vnvnjatihk. Ik ajj by ynars as a G`ristiak, I `avn rnam akm `narm
baky tnag`ikcs (hr, s`hujm I say vnrsihks) hk t`n Fhhl he
Vnvnjatihk. It snnbs t`at knarjy nvnryhkn `as t`nir hwk taln hk it.
S`y whujm I wakt th `nar akht`nr baks taln hk it8
Whbn`hw, by erinkm was afjn th pnrsuamn bn th ch. Aetnr
ajj, I `am kht`ikc th mh, akm kht`ikc th jhsn.Wh, wn wnkt akm wn cht `hhlnm.
Sn jistnknm iktnktjy akm ghujmkt fnjinvn hur nars. ]`is
pasthr was sayikc t`ikcs t`at Chm `am fnnk rnvnajikc th us oust
fnehrn wn jnet t`n einjm th rnturk `hbn. Sn wnrn ghbehrtnm,
agtuajjy, th lkhw t`at wn wnrn kht t`n hkjy hkns rngnivikc t`nsn
rnvnjatihks erhb Chm. Chm `am fnnk sayikc t`n sabn t`ikcs th
shbnhkn njsn. @ajjnjuoa`.
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Erhb t`nk hkn, wn ghktikunm th attnkm t`n Bhkmay kic`t
Fifjn gjassns eait`eujjy. (By wien bhrn eait`eujjy t`ak I.)
Snnl fy wnnl, Chm fncak th mhwkjham ikth hur spirits akmbikms a knw ukmnrstakmikc, a knw t`nhjhcy (th us, t`at is). Trngnpt
uphk prngnpt, wn fncak th ukmnrstakm t`n rhjn he Isranj ik Chms
hvnrajj pjak akm purphsn, akm nspngiajjy ik t`n Nkm ]ibn.
Sn misghvnrnm t`at Isranj is t`n bissikc jikl th bug` he hur
Nvakcnjigaj bissihjhcy akm nsg`athjhcy oust th kabn a enw.
Erhb as narjy as t`n 7rm akm =t` gnkturins, Fifjigaj t`nhjhcy `as
fnnk rnpjagnm wit` t`n Vnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy, shbnt`ikc t`at
was strhkcjy ikejunkgnm fy Akti-Wnbitig snktibnkts he t`n Narjy
Eat`nrs. Vnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy tnag`ns t`at Chm is t`rhuc` wit`Isranj, mun th `nr ghktikunm mishfnminkgn akm rnongtihk he t`n
Bnssia`, akm t`n g`urg`, as t`n Knw Isranj, is khw t`n `nir he ajj
t`n prhbisns akm fjnssikcs akm ghbbissihks t`at Chm cavn th
Isranj.
(S`nk I spnjj g`urg` wit` a sbajj g, I ab rnenrrikc th
t`n jhgaj hr ikstitutihkaj g`urg`. Fut w`nk I spnjj it wit` a gapitaj
G, I ab spnalikc he t`n G`urg` t`at G`rist is fuijmikc.)
]`is t`nhjhcy `as gausnm t`n g`urg` th fn mnjusihkaj. Ehr
hkn, it t`ikls t`at it is gapafjn he eikis`ikc t`n Crnat Ghbbissihk,
w`ig` is KH]. ]`n Crnat Ghbbissihk gakkht fn ghbpjntnm
wit`hut t`n Onwis` fnjinvnrs ik G`rist wit` w`hb wn arn th fn
ohiknm th ehrb t`n Hkn Knw Bak.
]`n g`urg` `as ajsh ehrchttnk t`at sajvatihk is erhb t`n
Onws akm stijj fnjhkcs th t`n Onws. Ik its nvakcnjisb, it `as kht
prnag`nm th t`n Onws nvnk t`huc` Tauj gatnchrigajjy says t`at t`n
chspnj is th t`n Onws eirst, akm t`nk th t`n Crnnls "#$%&'( )*)+,-
Ik t`n knxt eivn ynars (tijj khw), wn whujm jnark bhrn akmbhrn afhut t`n spirituaj sickieigakgn he Isranj, fht` ik `isthry as
wnjj as ik prhp`ngy. Sn ajsh ukghvnrnm spirituaj trnasurns ik t`n
Jhrms Enasts. (]`n tnrb Onwis` Enasts is a biskhbnr fngausn
t`nsn enasts mim kht hricikatn wit` t`n Onws fut wit` Chm.)
Jnarkikc erhb t`n Fnrnaks, I mim kht fnjinvn nvnryt`ikc I
was thjm straic`t away. I g`nglnm ajj t`at I was tauc`t wit` t`n
Wgripturns. Hkjy w`nk I gak snn it ik t`n Wgripturns whujm I fnjinvn
ik it, akm tnag` it th ht`nrs. Ivn snnk baky w`h `avn chkn hvnr
]`nCr
natGhbbissihkgakkhtfnghbpjntnmwit`hutt`nOnwis`
fnjinvnrsikG`rist
wit`w`hb
wnarn
thfnohiknmthehrbt`nHknKnwBak.
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D=
fharm ik t`nir ukmnrstakmikc akm supphrt ehr Isranj. ]`ny arn w`nrn
t`ny arn fngausn t`ny `avn kht snarg`nm t`n Wgripturns. (Baky mh
kht lkhw t`n Wgripturns wnjj th start wit`.)Nvnry ynar sikgn t`nk, wn `avn travnjjnm th Isranj (by wien
bhrn t`ak I). Sn mh kht ch as thurists< wn ch hk t`n ikvitatihk he
Chm fngausn it is @is jakm wn arn nktnrikc ikth. Whbn he t`n trips
arn prhp`ntig ik katurn (by wien chns hk t`nsn trips), ht`nrs `avn a
mieenrnkt purphsn. Ik rngnkt ynars, Chm `as mirngtnm hur ehgus
thwarms t`n Onwis` @hjhgaust Wurvivhrs. Ehr t`n jast t`rnn ynars,
wn `avn `njm fakqunts ehr t`nb ik Isranj. ]`n chaj was th
rnbnbfnr akm `hkhr t`nb.
Fngausn a jarcn part he t`n g`urg` stijj `hjms th t`nVnpjagnbnkt ]`nhjhcy, wn stakm hut jiln a shrn t`ubf th t`nb.
]`is is t`n prign wnvn `am th pay ehr lkhwikc afhut akm
ghkkngtikc wit` Isranj.
Fut t`nrn `avn fnnk fjnssikcs thh. Ak nxabpjn is t`is? Fht`
by mauc`tnrs arn privijncnm th `avn fnnk faptiznm ik t`n Ohrmak
rivnr. By shk is knxt.
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G`aptnr 14
A Knw Ohurkny
Sajlikc wit` Chm is a jienjhkc ohurkny. It knvnr nkms ukjnss
yhu wakt it th.
Ik Mngnbfnr he 6414, I `narm t`n Jhrm say th bn, ]`n nkm
is knar. Fy t`is Chm was jnttikc us snn t`n jic`t at t`n nkm he t`n
tukknj, w`ig` `am kht fnnk visifjn uktij khw. Ibbnmiatnjy, I
rus`nm `hbn th s`arn t`is pingn he chhm knws, abazikc knws, wit`
by wien. ]`nrn is, `hwnvnr, a quajieinr, a whrm he gautihk.
@avikc eabijiariznm bysnje wit` t`n Nxhmus sthry, I `avn
snnk `hw t`n Isranjitns wnrn sh gjhsn th t`n Trhbisnm jakm akm yntsh ear erhb it. Ik t`n nkm, t`ny bissnm it thtajjy fngausn t`ny
mhuftnm. Fasnm hk t`is, I rnbikmnm by wien afhut t`n ibphrtakgn
he watg`ikc hur `narts akm hur whrms. Hkn garnjnssjy uttnrakgn gak
ruik nvnryt`ikc akm gausn us th ehrenit hur ik`nritakgn.
I ajsh lknw t`at w`nk Chm says shhk, @n ghujm bnak t`at
it whujm `appnk ik a bhkt`, ik a ynar, hr ik a enw ynars. Hkjy Chm
lkhws. Fut t`akleujjy, ik hur gasn, it bnakt oust hkn bhkt`.
Ik Oakuary, by wien `narm erhb t`n Jhrm t`at It is hvnr!
Traisn t`n Jhrm.Fut w`ats knxt8
Iktnrnstikcjy, @n mirngtnm bn fagl th t`n g`urg`. Akm, he ajj
g`urg`ns, @n g`hsn th pjagn bn ik a bnt`hmist g`urg`. It was jiln
ghbikc hkn eujj girgjn fngausn by eirst g`urg` was erhb t`is
mnkhbikatihk. Fut I was t`nrn ehr hkjy six bhkt`s.
Knxt, @n jnm bn th ak ikmnpnkmnkt bnca-g`urg`. ]`is tibn,
I was t`nrn jhkcnr? 17 bhkt`s.
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D+
Khw, as I writn, I ab acaik waitikc uphk Chm th s`hw bn
t`n knxt stnp. Knvnrt`njnss, by `nart is at pnagn. Nvnk t`huc` I mh
kht lkhw afhut thbhrrhw, I lkhw w`h is t`n hkn w`h `hjms by`akm.
It `njps w`nk yhu `avn rngnivnm prhp`ntig whrms erhb t`n
Jhrm. It snrvns as yhur akg`hr akm Khrt` Wtar. Jast ynar, I rngnivnm
a prhp`ngy t`rhuc` hkn he `is akhiktnm snrvakts, Mr. Ghrkn
Fnllnr. ]`rhuc` t`n prhp`ngy, Chm was tnjjikc bn t`at @n is
prnparikc a bnssacn wit`ik bn. As a battnr he eagt, @n was
prnparikc bn th fn t`at bnssacn. It whujm fn a bnssacn th t`n
g`urg`ns. @n mnsgrifnm bn as strhkc bnmigikn, ak aktimhtn
t`at t`n g`urg`ns whujm knnm ehr its paiks akm whukms. @n warknmt`at ehr khw I wijj fn bisukmnrsthhm akm jafnjjnm as nxtrnbn akm
ramigaj. Fut t`n Jhrm assurns bn t`at I `avn `narm ghrrngtjy, akm
t`at @n `hkhrs by hfnminkgn.
I ab ghkvikgnm t`at t`is bnssacn is kht shbnt`ikc t`at
Chm ghujm oust jnt bn rnam akm jnark. (I wis` it ghujm fn t`at nasy.)
I ab th fn t`at bnssacn< akm ik s`apikc bn, @n is ajsh s`apikc t`n
bnssacn.
A kubfnr he ynars fnehrn t`is, w`ijn wn wnrn stijj hk t`n
einjm, I `am a supnrkaturaj nxpnrinkgn. I was talnk ikth t`n t`irm
`navnk w`nrn I was bnt, kht fy t`n Jhrm @ibsnje, fy Tauj t`n
aphstjn. Sn wnrn ik a jarcn w`itn rhhb wit` kh misgnrkifjn
eurkiturn. It was oust bn akm `ib. Hur bnntikc was quigl. ]`n
hkjy whrms `n `am th say th bn was? Eikis` w`at I startnm. ]h fn
`hknst, I `avn kh imna w`at it bnaks uktij khw.
Ajj t`is `appnknm at arhukm t`rnn hgjhgl ik t`n bhrkikc.
Ik t`n bhrkikc, I thjm by wien afhut by nxpnrinkgn, fut ik
a rhukm afhut way. I startnm fy aslikc `nr w`y s`n was pjayikcghbputnrs cabns at t`rnn ik bhrkikc. (W`n rnajjy was.)
W`n was stukknm. @hw mim yhu lkhw I was pjayikc
ghbputnr cabns at t`rnn ik t`n bhrkikc8 I was surn yhu wnrn
shukm asjnnp fngausn I ghujm `nar yhur skhrikc twh rhhbs away.
I saw w`at yhu wnrn mhikc hk by way fagl erhb `navnk,
I rnpjinm. Khw s`n was puzzjnm.
I fncak th tnjj `nr w`nrn I was akm w`h I bnt wit`. ^ksurn
ie I was tnjjikc t`n trut`, s`n shuc`t shbn vnrieigatihk.
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D/
]njj bn w`at Tauj jhhlnm jiln, s`n prhfnm.
]`n bak I bnt knvnr iktrhmugnm `ibsnje th bn, fut ik by
spirit I lknw t`at `n was Tauj t`n aphstjn. Wh I mnsgrifnm `ib thby wien akm s`n was ghkvikgnm. W`n `am `narm shbnhkn mnsgrifn
w`at Tauj prhfafjy jhhlnm jiln ik a snbikar shbn tibn fagl. (I
waskt at t`n snbikar.) Akm t`n mnsgriptihk I cavn batg`nm ajbhst
pnrengtjy w`at s`n `am `narm at t`n snbikar.
I wijj jnt yhu ehrb yhur hwk ghkgjusihk afhut w`at t`is ajj
bnaks. Bnakw`ijn, I wijj ghktikun th ohurkny wit` Chm.
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DD
Tart II
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G`aptnr 11
Tigturns he t`n Likcmhb
Chm hetnk spnals mirngtjy th bnk akm shbntibns ikmirngtjy
thh. Onsus sphln ik parafjns, akm th t`n uknkjic`tnknm it was bnrn
ciffnris`< fut th w`hb rnvnjatihk is civnk, t`n nbfnmmnm trut`s
arn rnvnajnm. Ik t`n sabn way, Chm `imns sngrnts ik pjaik sic`t
usikc pigturns akm typns sngrnts hkjy th fn rnvnajnm ik t`n
euturn. ]`ny arn ik pjaik sic`t ik t`at t`ny arn t`nrn ehr ajj th snn,
ynt kht ajj wijj snn t`nb ukjnss Chm `as ajjhwnm t`nb th.
Hkn he t`n t`ikcs @n `as `immnk ik pjaik sic`t is t`n ghkgnpt
he t`n likcmhb he Chm. Fut fnehrn wn vnkturn ikth tajlikc afhutt`n pigturns he t`n likcmhb I t`ikl it is nssnktiaj t`at wn
ukmnrstakm w`at a likcmhb is.
A likcmhb is, eirst he ajj, (1) a rnajb, a mhbaik. It
hggupins a cnhcrap`igaj tnrrithry. It gak fn barlnm hut hk t`n
Shrjm Bap. Knxt, a likcmhb is (6) rujnm fy a likc akm is (7)
chvnrknm fy t`n rujn he jaw. Eikajjy, a likcmhb (=) `as sufongts.
]`n bhrn t`n bnrrinr. S`at whujm a likc, hr likcmhb, fn wit`hut
t`nb8
Ehr aky bntap`hr ik t`n Hjm ]nstabnkt th quajiey as a pigturnhe t`n likcmhb he Chm, it bust `avn ajj ehur g`aragtnristigs he a
likcmhb? rnajb, likc, jaw, akm sufongts.
I `avn ehukm twh pigturns he t`n likcmhb he Chm ik t`n
Hjm ]nstabnkt. ]`n eirst fnikc t`n Carmnk ik Nmnk, akm t`n ht`nr
is Gakaak, t`n Trhbisnm Jakm.
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Carmnk ik Nmnk
Nmnk was a rncihk hk t`n Nart` t`at was, as its kabn ibpjins,pjnasakt akm mnjic`teuj. ]`n rnst he t`n Nart`, hk t`n ht`nr
ghktrary, was farrnk kh fus` he t`n einjm was ynt ik t`n jakm
akm kh sbajj pjakt he t`n einjm `am ynt sprukc up (Cnk 6?>) akm
frhwk. Ik ghktrast, Nmnk was a savakka` (hr crassjakm)< akm
nastwarm ik Nmnk (Cnk 6?0) Chm pjaktnm a carmnk.
]`n nastnrjy mirngtihk `hjms crnat sickieigakgn ik t`n Fifjn.
]`n Wuk risns erhb t`n nast< t`n Carmnk was ik t`n nast he Nmnk
Wh Watak wnkt hut erhb t`n prnsnkgn he t`n JHVM akm strugl Ohf
wit` jhat`shbn shrns erhb t`n shjn he `is ehht th t`n grhwk he `is
`nam.Ik subbary, Ohf jhst `is eabijy, `is wnajt` akm phssnssihks,
akm `is `najt` wit`ik a s`hrt pnrihm he tibn. Ajj t`is was t`n whrl
he ]`n ]`ine.
]`n whbak w`h was grippjnm fy a spirit. Hkn Waffat`, Onsus
nkghuktnrnm a whbak ik t`n sykachcun w`nrn @n was tnag`ikc.
W`n `am fnnk grippjnm fy a spirit ehr nic`tnnk ynars (Juln 17?11).
As a rnsujt, s`n was fnkt hvnr akm ghujm kht stakm up straic`t.
S`nk Onsus saw `nr, @n gajjnm `nr ehrwarm, jaim @is `akms hk `nr,akm snt `nr ernn. @nr p`ysigaj ghkmitihk was t`n whrl he Watak fut,
hk t`at may, Onsus appnarnm th mnstrhy t`n whrls he t`n mnvij
(1 Oh`k 7?0).
Kht hkjy mhns jagl prhmugn thij, it ajsh prhmugns akxinty. Akyhkn
w`h is ik jagl wijj katurajjy fn akxihus. It is rarn th eikm shbnhkn
w`h is fn`ikm hk `is rnkt, hr `as g`ajlnm up a `ucn mnft th kht ennj
akxihus. Ik eagt, `n s`hujm fn pakiglikc.
Akxinty was w`at Onsus saw ik @is pnhpjn as @n bhvnm
abhkc t`nb. ]`nir akxinty gabn erhb t`nir strivikc th bnnt t`nir
hwk knnms. Ik jhvn akm ghbpassihk Onsus saim th t`nb? ]`nrnehrn
mh kht fn akxihus, sayikc, S`at s`ajj wn nat8 hr S`at s`ajj wn
mrikl8 hr S`at s`ajj wn wnar8 Ehr t`n Cnktijns snnl aetnr ajj
t`nsn t`ikcs, akm yhur `navnkjy Eat`nr lkhws t`at yhu knnm t`nb
ajj. Fut snnl eirst t`n likcmhb he Chm akm `is ric`tnhusknss, akm
ajj t`nsn t`ikcs wijj fn ammnm th yhu. (Batt 5?71-77).
Mim yhu khtign t`n hrmnr he w`at Onsus saim8 Onsus pjagnm t`nehgus hk hur akxinty fnehrn t`n ehgus hk hur knnms. Bhst he t`n
tibn, t`is is `hw wn t`ikl? I wijj gnasn th fn akxihus hkgn by
knnms arn bnt. Fut t`is wijj `armjy `appnk fngausn, as wn `avn
snnk narjinr, wn wijj ajways fn `ukcry akm t`nrnehrn ajways fn ik
knnm.
Onsus wakts yhu th lkhw t`at w`atnvnr yhur knnm is, t`n
Eat`nr gak akm wijj bnnt it. @n `as aggnptnm rnsphksifijity he yhur
knnms sh t`at yhu mh kht `avn th. Ajj yhu knnm th mh khw is th snnl
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@is likcmhb akm ric`tnhusknss, akm ajj t`nsn t`ikcs wijj fn ammnm
th yhu. Fut ik hrmnr ehr t`at th `appnk, yhur akxihus `nart bust fn
turknm ikth a `nart he eait`, hkn t`at fnjinvns t`at @n nxists akmt`at @n rnwarms t`hsn w`h snnl `ib (@nf 11?5).
Wh jagl prhmugns akxinty, akm akxinty is a ehrb he thij. ]`nrn
is sginktieig prhhe ehr t`is.
Whbnhkn w`h is ik jagl is `armjy at rnst nbhtihkajjy,
bnktajjy, hr p`ysigajjy. @is sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb is ajways
ik t`n hk statn. ]`n sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb is t`n
eic`t/ejic`t systnb w`ig` rnjnasns nknrcy akm cnts t`n fhmy
"pribnm" ehr agtihk. Ibacikn a spriktnr w`h is phisnm at t`n
startikc fjhgl, akm `as fnnk t`nrn ehr ak `hur. Wh bug` he `isnknrcy whujm `avn fnnk nxpnkmnm oust th baiktaik t`at stakgn t`at
`n whujm `armjy `avn aky jnet th ruk t`n ragn. Agtivity ik t`n
sybpat`ntig knrvhus systnb prhmugns ak ikgrnasn ik `nart ratn akm
t`n strnkct` he t`n `nartfnat. @nkgn, a ghkstaktjy akxihus pnrshk
wijj nxpnrinkgn a `ic`nr `nart ratn t`ak ak avnracn pnrshk at rnst.
]`is wijj jnam, ik t`n jhkc ruk, th `nart misnasn hr eaijurn.
7. ]hij is a ]rap
Sn `avn snnk sh ear t`at thij is nkmjnss `arm whrl akm is a
rnsujt he jagl. Khw wn wijj snn t`at thij is a trap.
As I `avn s`hwk yhu narjinr, t`n 1060 Snfstnrs Nkcjis`
Migtihkary ajsh mneikns thij as a skarn hr a trap. Ie thij is a trap,
t`nk mnsirnbust fn its fait.
S`nk mnsirn, w`ig` ghbns erhb nit`nr a rnaj hr pnrgnivnm
jagl wit`ik yhu, is kht frhuc`t ukmnr ghktrhj, it wijj gausn yhu th
mh ukmnsirafjn t`ikcs sug` as th fhrrhw hr, whrsn stijj, th stnaj. Ak
ikkhgnkt ikknr mnsirn, w`nk jnet ukg`nglnm, gak crhw ikth
ghvnthusknss akm crnnm. Ghbpnjjnm fy t`nb, pnhpjn spnkm t`n
bhkny t`ny mh kht `avn th fuy t`ikcs t`ny mhkt rnajjy knnm erhb
pnhpjn w`h mhkt rnajjy garn ehr akyhkn fut t`nbsnjvns. ]`n
rnsujt? mnft. Bijjihks he pnhpjn arn mnnp ik mnft thmay fngausn t`ny
`avn eaijnm th lnnp t`nir mnsirns ik g`ngl. Khw, t`ny wijj `avn th
]hijis
atrap.
]`hsnw`harngauc`tikatrap
knnmsthfnrnsgunm,
khtajnsshkhktrap-bakacnbnkt
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:F
sueenr t`n ghksnqunkgn fy whrlikc, bhst he t`nb ehr t`n rnst he
t`nir jivns, uktij t`ny `avn rnpaim t`n mnft.
Fut t`ats kht ajj. A fhrrhwnr, Trhvnrfs 66?3 tnjjs us, issnrvakt th t`n jnkmnr. Oaghf was ak nxabpjn he shbnhkn w`h was
trappnm fy `is hwk mnsirn, akm as a rnsujt he pursuikc it rnjnktjnssjy
`n bamn `ibsnje a snrvakt (a sjavn agtuajjy).
Oaghf was hk t`n ruk fngausn `n `am sthjnk t`n firt`ric`t akm
fjnssikc t`at ric`tjy fnjhkcnm th `is frht`nr Nsau. Hk t`n
rnghbbnkmatihk he `is bht`nr, Oaghf thhl rneucn at `is ukgjn
Jafaks `hbn. ]`nrn `n bnt Vag`nj, Jafaks yhukcnr mauc`tnr,
akm ibbnmiatnjy enjj ik jhvn wit` `nr. Nvnk t`huc` Oaghf was
ajrnamy ik `is sixtins w`nk `n arrivnm at Jafaks `hbn, @n wasstijj prntty kavn akm cujjifjn. Jafak, hk t`n ht`nr `akm, was
s`rnwm akm uksgrupujhus. @n gapitajiznm hk Oaghfs jhvn ehr
Vag`nj akm trinm th prheit erhb it.
Kht waktikc th appnar thh nacnr, Jafak wait ehr shbn tibn
pass. Ik t`n bnaktibn, Jafak ajjhw Oaghf th `njp tnkm t`n akibajs.
]`nk gasuajjy, hkn may, Jafak aslnm Oaghf? Fngausn yhu arn by
liksbak, s`hujm yhu t`nrnehrn snrvn bn ehr kht`ikc8 ]njj bn,
w`at s`ajj yhur wacns fn8 (Cnk 69?1>).
S`h saim akyt`ikc afhut wacns8 Cnttikc paim hr fnghbikc
prhspnrhus was eurt`nst erhb Oaghf bikm at t`at tibn. S`ats
bhrn, `njpikc th tnkm t`n akibajs was paybnkt nkhuc` ehr
Jafaks likmknss akm `hspitajity. Fut was it nkhuc` ehr Jafak8
Jafak bust `avn snnk shbn t`ikc ik Oaghf akm waktnm bhrn
he it. Wh `n jurns Oaghf ikth balikc ak acrnnbnkt. ]`n tnrb he t`n
acrnnbnkt was sibpjn? Oaghf whujm `avn Vag`njs `akm ik
barriacn aetnr `n `am snrvnm Jafak ehr snvnk ynars (vnrsn 10).
]`n acrnnbnkt fntwnnk Jafak akm Oaghf was ak nbpjhybnktghktragt he shrts. I say t`is fngausn he t`n whrms snrvn akm
wacns whrms yhu whujm ghbbhkjy eikm ik ak Nbpjhybnkt
Ghktragt Jafak usnm ik spnalikc wit` Oaghf. Ik ak Nbpjhybnkt
Ghktragt, t`n nbpjhynn wijj rngnivn ghbpnksatihk erhb `is
nbpjhynr ehr t`n whrl `n mhns. Ik t`is gasn, Jafak wijj civn `is
mauc`tnr Vag`nj th Oaghf ik nxg`akcn ehr snvnk ynars he `is
snrvign. Sit` t`is nbpjhybnkt ghktragt, Jafak suggnsseujjy
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nkskarnm6Oaghf. Oaghf `am uklkhwikcjy bamn `ibsnje Jafaks
snrvakt ehr t`n knxt snvnk ynars. I ibacikn t`at it mimkt fht`nr
Oaghf (nvnk ie `n rnajiznm it) fngausn `is mnsirn ehr Vag`nj wascrnat.
Ie Jafak `am fnnk ak `hknst rnjativn, Oaghf whujm `avn `am
w`at `n mnsirnm akm w`at `n `am whrlnm ehr. Fut, as t`n sthry chns,
Jafak mngnivnm Oaghf fy civikc `ib t`n `akm he `is njmnst
mauc`tnr Jna` ikstnam. ]`is agt ajhkn s`hujm `avn bamn it
afukmaktjy gjnar th Oaghf t`at Jafak was a grhhl, t`at `n gakkht
fn trustnm akybhrn. Fut fngausn Oaghfs mnsirn was stijj strhkc, `n
fngabn fjikm th t`n trut` akm ehhjis`jy acrnnm th Jafaks rnknwnm
tnrbs? wn wijj civn yhu t`n ht`nr ajsh ik rnturk ehr snrvikc bnakht`nr snvnk ynars (vnrsn 63).
S`nk t`n snghkm snvnk ynars was ghbpjntn, Oaghf eikajjy
`am Vag`nj as `is wien, `is snghkm wien. Fut ikstnam he gajjikc it
quits, Oaghf ghktikunm th whrl ehr Jafak. Ajt`huc` t`n Fifjn is
sijnkt afhut it, wn gak mnmugn t`at it was Oaghfs enar he `is frht`nr
Nsau uksurn ie Nsaus akcnr `am fnnk assuacnm hr afatnm t`at
bamn `ib rnbaik wit` Jafak. Tut akht`nr way, Oaghf g`hsn t`n
fnttnr he twh nvijs fy rnbaikikc wit` Jafak shbnt`ikc t`at
baky `avn rnshrtnm th wit` rncarms th t`nir gurrnkt situatihk.
Baky pnhpjn, t`huc` shbn bay kht say it, arn uk`appy wit`
t`nir gurrnkt ohfs. It ghujm fn mun th ak ukrnashkafjn fhss,
ukerinkmjy gh-whrlnrs, ukeair trnatbnkt, ikamnquatn rnbuknratihk,
hr sibpjy misghktnktbnkt. Fut, ik spitn he `hw t`ny ennj akm w`at
t`ny `avn th nkmurn, t`ny `akc thuc`, fitn-t`n-fujjnt, akm rnbaik
w`nrn t`ny arn ikstnam he jnavikc. ]`ny rnashk t`at t`n risl he
jnavikc akm vnkturikc ikth t`n uklkhwk is shbnt`ikc t`ny arn
ukprnparnm th taln. Ik mhikc sh, hkn bic`t fn chikc erhb t`neryikc pak akm ikth t`n eirn erhb a fam situatihk th ak nvnk whrsn
hkn.
Ab I sayikc t`at akyhkn w`h is uk`appy wit` `is ohf jnavn it
ibbnmiatnjy8 Afshjutnjy kht. S`at t`ny s`hujm asl t`nbsnjvns
(akm Chm) is t`is? Ab I w`nrn Chm wakts bn th fn8 ]`is is
"#ZZHIRLPJ KH KBQ .HWWLP] )PJWL]B
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grugiaj fngausn nvnry tibn Chms pnhpjn stnps hut he @is Sijj,
trhufjn fneajj t`nb. It `appnknm th Afra`ab? w`nk `n trinm th
nsgapn t`n eabikn fy chikc th Ncypt, `n ajbhst jhst `is wien akm`is jien t`nrn. It ajsh `appnknm th Oaghf, as wn `avn oust snnk.
Ohka` mim it thh, akm sueenrnm bug` ehr it. Fut it mimkt `appnk th
Isaag, w`h, ik t`n tibn he a eabikn, shwnm ik t`at jakm akm rnapnm
ik t`n sabn ynar a `ukmrnmehjm (Cnk 65?16).
Oaghf was gjnarjy hut he t`n Sijj he Chm. @n ajjhwnm enar th
bhtivatn akm stnnr `ib. @n jistnknm th t`n amvisn he `is bht`nr
ikstnam he snnlikc t`n ghuksnj he Chm< akm jhhl w`nrn `n nkm up.
At t`n nkm he twnkty ynars, Chm gabn th Oaghf akm saim,
Jiet up yhur nyns akm snn, ajj t`n chats t`at batn wit` t`n ejhglarn stripnm, sphttnm, akm bhttjnm, ehr I `avn snnk ajj t`at Jafak is
mhikc th yhu. I ab t`n Chm he Fnt`nj, w`nrn yhu akhiktnm a pijjar
akm bamn a vhw th bn. Khw arisn, ch hut erhb t`is jakm akm rnturk
th t`n jakm he yhur likmrnm. (Cnk 71?16-17).
It was ghbehrtikc ehr Oaghf th lkhw t`at Chm `as kht
afakmhknm `ib t`nsn twnkty, fut `am fnnk watg`ikc hvnr `ib. Fut,
knvnrt`njnss, it was tibn (Chm says) th ghbn `hbn. Akm `hbn
was ik Fnt`nj, t`n pjagn w`nrn Oaghf fuijt ak ajtar th t`n Jhrm (snn
Cnk 60?19).
It bic`t `avn a pjay he whrms fut Fnt`nj jitnrajjy bnaks t`n
`husn (fnt) he Chm (nj). Wh, ik gajjikc Oaghf th rnturk th Fnt`nj,
Chm was ik eagt gajjikc Oaghf th rnturk th t`n `husn he Chm, w`nrn
`n fnjhkcs. ]`at is w`nrn `is ik`nritakgn waits ehr `ib.
S`at afhut yhu8 @avn yhu chkn away erhb `hbn8 Tnr`aps
yhu arn jiln t`n Trhmicaj Whk. ]`ats ajj ric`t, fngausn t`n Trhmicaj
Whk nvnktuajjy wnkt `hbn akm sh gak yhu. As yhu rnam t`is, I
pray t`at yhu wijj fn afjn th `nar Chm gajjikc yhu Ghbn `hbn!Yhur `hbn is w`nrn t`n Eat`nr is< it is t`n likcmhb he Chm. ]`nrn,
yhur ik`nritakgn awaits yhu. Fn ghbehrtnm akm rn-assurnm fy t`nsn
whrms?
Enar kht, jittjn ejhgl, ehr it is yhur Eat`nr's chhm
pjnasurn th civn yhu t`n likcmhb. (Juln 16?76)
Fnsimns fnikc mngnivnm ikth barryikc Jna` as wnjj as Vag`nj, t`n
hkn `n trujy jhvnm, Oaghf ajsh sueenrnm ik ht`nr ways at t`n `akm he
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Jafak. Wpnalikc th `is wivns afhut t`n twnkty ynars t`at `n
whrlnm ehr Jafak, Oaghf saim? Yhu lkhw t`at I `avn snrvnm yhur
eat`nr wit` ajj by strnkct`, ynt yhur eat`nr `as g`natnm bn akmg`akcnm by wacns tnk tibns. Fut Chm mim kht pnrbit `ib th `arb
bn (Cnk 71?5, 3).
G`akcnm by wacns tnk tibns. Mhnskt t`at shukm eabijiar8
Nbpjhynns ik Wikcaphrn akm arhukm t`n whrjm `avn snnk t`nir
wacns mngrnasn ikstnam he stnamijy risikc hvnr t`n ynars. Ajt`huc`
whrlnrs arn stijj rngnivikc
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