Download - MIDTOWN MADNESS

MILPAS ON THE MOVEBEING A “GOOD CITIZEN” OFTEN LEADSTO BAD THINGS. BUSINESSES PAY FINESAND EXORBITANT FEES; BUMS PAY NOTHING, EVER, P. 12

VOLUME 2 | ISSUE 1 1 | MARCH 22 – 29 | 2013 WWW.SANTABARBARASENTINEL .COM

once a week from pier to peak

IN THE GARDENRANDY ARNOWITZ IS NEITHER A SPROUT NAZINOR OVO-LACTO HAIRSHIRT, BUT HE DOES GO

ALL-ORGANIC WHEN IT COMES TO HIS PLANTS, P. 20

SANTA BARBARA

LOVE MIKANAFINE-FEATHERED FOOD FESTIVITIES

INCLUDE FRIED CHICKEN AND WAFFLES AT DRAKE WINES,

DEEP IN THE FUNK ZONE, P. 29

...continued p.5

Life in the traiLer Park

I never really envisioned living in a trailer park after graduating from law school at Cal. There’s nothing

wrong with living in a trailer park, of course, I just didn’t see it for me and my family.

But things have changed in the past ten years. We have, in fact, called a trailer – in a park – our home.

Twice.The first time was in South Africa

in late 2011. We’d flown into Cape Town from Istanbul as part of a long trip we took as a family and settled into a refurbished Airstream Trailer Park atop the Grand Daddy Hotel on Long Street. The Daddy used huge cranes to deliver the Airstreams to the roof of the hotel some five stories up, and then had them stylishly re-imagined and designed by local artisans. Ours was called Moontides – think blue and silver and quasi-lunar and you’ll get the idea – and was part of a small community of six other trailers situated around a cool outdoor stage for live music performances and a small bar. Everybody had great views of the city and peek-a-boos of Table Mountain.

Bustling Long Street, Cape Town’s main thoroughfare, pulsed below us, and we spent hours exploring its shops

MIDTOWN MADNESS

IT’S CALLED THE SANTA BARBARA AUTO CAMP BUT IT’S REALLY A CHARMING LITTLE HOTEL THAT CATERS TO ADVENTUROUS TOURISTS AND AIRSTREAM ENTHUSIASTS FROM AROUND THE WORLD…

THE BEER GUYPAGE 8

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OPEN HOUSESPAGE 31

by Matt Mazza

2 | MARCH 22 – 29 | 2013 WWW.SANTABARBARASENTINEL .COM

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ContentP.5 Mazza’s Missive – Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza really likes living high on the hog in

trailer parks around the world, and has found perhaps no better spot than right here in town on De La Vina. Check out his night in an Airstream trailer at Santa Barbara Auto Camp; then make your reservations.

P.6 It’s Crime Time with SBPD – St. Patrick’s Day merry-making causes people to do some interesting things. You know, like light people’s ties on fire and beat their wives in public. What a holiday.

P.7 Letters to the Editor – The Mindful Word proposed a pretty expensive healing sanctuary and Regine Astier needs a personal recommendation from Matt to try and knock down the cost (probably won’t work, Regine, but have at it); nobody guessed the Ringer, not even the buzz-kill from South Pasadena; and somebody actually liked the Funk Zone coverage last week. Imagine that.

P.8 The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen covers the newly opened Hoffman Brat Haus, and gushes about succulent sausages that burst forth with geyser-like juices. (Zach, you are one of a kind, man. Great column.)

P.10 Eight Days A Week – It’s been a tough week, folks, so take the next one real easy. Check out some of our favorite things going down in the Sentinel’s quasi-calendar.

P.12 Santa Barbara View – Sharon Byrne does a great job contrasting the two distinct sets of rules that seem to apply to SB people (sort of Crime Time-ish, Sharon, really enjoyed the intelligent read); Loretta Redd talks about panga boats filled with weed in Santa Barbara and the latest war we’ve lost (the one on drugs); Ray Estrada has a look at the recently opened Workzones – a small business incubator in Paseo Nuevo – and CIO Solutions prize-winner Hearts Therapeutic Equestrian Center.

P.16 Presidio Sports – Westmont women win a National Championship (that’s a big deal people, huge congrats to the lady Warriors and to repeat NAIA Player of the Year, Tugce Canitez); SBART Athletes of the Week; Local Sports Volunteer of the Month; Hal and Fran Finney; and Frances Chase-Dunn on running shoes. (That’s a lot of sports this week – thanks Presidio.)

P.18 Dust & Cover – Jeremy Harbin brings us the elusive, eccentric Jeff Mangum in a terrific little piece. (Really enjoyed it, Jeremy, thanks man. Sounds like a great show coming up at the Lobero.)

P.20 In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Randy talks plant nourishment and diseases, and his organic ways to deal with them. (Almost time to get that spring garden going, right Randy?)

P.21 Man About Town – Mark Leisure likes teen stars (sounds weird, sure, but it isn’t what you think), Dennis Quaid fronts The Sharks at SOhO and Jeff Bridges brings his musical act to the Lobero (yeah, it’s sold out, but you can find your way in if you really want to).

P.23 Mad Science – The Sentinel’s own Mad Scientist, Rachelle Oldmixon, is back already with some fire science and the related benefits of June Gloom. (Like it, Rachelle, keep ‘em coming.)

P.27 Keeping It Reel – Jim Luksic’s the man. We’re admittedly a bit concerned that he even so much as mentioned both local (and Sentinel friend) Michael Imperioli and James Gandolfini this week – two Sopranos gangsters of ill-repute – but he’s still the man. (And we’ve bulked up security just in case.) Check out the Sentinel’s movie guide as well.

P.28 You Have Your Hands Full – Mara worships at the Church of Lacrosse at Elings Park each week, and preaches the Gospel according to Plumb. Amen, Mara, hallelujah.

P.29 LOVEmikana – Fried chicken and waffles at Drake Wine in the Funk Zone (sounds awesome, really) and Hydrilla Verticillata from Lotus Super Foods (read to figure that one out). And as always, the Weekend Guide keeps your busy calendar chock full.

P.30 Residential Real Estate – Mikey likes it – and he finally calls a housing market on the mend. So search the Sentinel’s open house guide for your favorites, do a bit of research and let it rip this weekend. (Honey, load up the minivan, we’re going house hunting again… and we’re hitting Bed, Bath and Beyond this time on the way back. Nice little Sunday.)


and restaurants and cafés and outdoor markets as a family. Then we’d head back to the Airstream, sit in lounge chairs out front and listen to some mellow South African musician knock out a few tunes over a cold drink.

Pretty cool, as unique hotel experiences go.

We have fond memories of our time living in that trailer park; we’d go back in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. (And if you’re going to Cape Town any time soon, you might check out the old Grand Daddy – it was a fun stay and they treated us really well.)

Reliving the Good Old Days in the Trailer

It was against that backdrop that I found myself standing in front of Santa Barbara Auto Camp on De La Vina last weekend. A few days earlier, I’d driven by

the shiny Airstream trailers available for nightly rental and had an idea.

“Why don’t we stay there for a night,” I thought, “we can relive some of the glorious family time we spent in Cape Town. The wife and kids will love it. (And me for thinking of it.)”

It seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, and I made arrangements with Ryan Miller, the project and operations manager for the SBAC, to spend a Saturday night in one of the trailers.

Then both my kids got sick – really sick – and couldn’t make it. So there I was, facing a night in the park alone.

Not quite what I envisioned but I resolved to make the most of it.

And make the most of it I did.

A Little CommunityAdmittedly, De La Vina is not Long

Street. But the park is surprisingly conveniently located, and the guys at

by Matt Mazza

MAZZA’S MISSIVE

...continued from cover

...continued p.14

Julia Johnson (left) and Linda Engelsiepen, relaxed well on a short trip from L.A. (Airstream Trailer Parks have that effect on people.)

SBAC have thoughtfully included beach cruisers with each Airstream they rent out, so getting around is really easy.

I was immediately and quite pleasantly surprised when I pulled up. The park grounds – at least those immediately surrounding the Airstreams, which is pretty much where I hung out – are very clean and landscaped. It is really a hospitable, welcoming little spot they’ve created, and I felt right at home.

It was more of the same when I opened the door to the trailer. Clean, comfortable, well designed and suitable for a couple and a kid (maybe two but

that would have been pushing it in the space I was in). There was a small sitting area, a comfortable couch opposite a mini-kitchen (I suppose you could cook in there but with so many restaurants and cafés nearby, there is likely little or no need), a cozy bedroom with a surprisingly comfortable bed and a bathroom with a full shower and claw foot tub and (Malin + Goetz) products (think rum bar soap and eucalyptus body wash). There were also a couple beach chairs for sitting on the grass outside and sharing a glass of


It'sCrimetime... ...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

St. Patrick’s Day. Quite simply the finest holiday known to mankind.It’s not just the green beer and Irish whiskey and heavily salted meat products

driving otherwise ordinary citizens into a shockingly carnivorous alcoholic frenzy that really delights us. There are the frankly offensive Irish jokes and riddles and blessings and folklore that are constantly quoted in butchered accents while being bantered about over a Bushmills. (Our favorite this year came from Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza’s mother, Lynn O’Mara, a feisty Irish woman from the Sunset District in San Francisco: “I’m so tired of Irish stereotypes,” she complained, “that I’m going to punch someone in the face after I finish my drink.” Actually, there are better ones, but we can’t publish any of them here. Not a single one. Thanks Lynnie!)

There’s also the ubiquitous emerald green outfit and the jovial drunken leprechaun and the singing and the dancing and the simple fun of the whole day. It’s intoxicating, for sure, and we think it’s great. Terrific in fact. Wonderful.

But there’s a darker side to all the merry-making, of course, the stuff we don’t like to talk about as much. There’s the overly intoxicated leprechaun vomiting in the taxicab. There’s the grown man in full green regalia – from ridiculous loafers to plastic top hat – screaming at his scantily-clad girlfriend down the alley beside the pub. There’s the college girl flashing her green panties to the cops before falling on her face in the middle of street. Etcetera.

Ok, all right, you caught us. Actually we do like all that stuff, for Crime Time anyway.Here’s a few lowlights of this past St. Patrick’s Day, taken in chronological order from

soup to nuts. Enjoy.

Man and Woman are Too Drunk to Communicate with Cab Driver, So He Takes Them to JailCRIME: A 40-year old Santa Barbara man was passed out “unconscious” in the back of a cab at 1:15am on the morning of March 17, 2013. He was arrested for public intoxication. OBSERVATIONS: That’s not all. His companion, a 32-year old local woman, was so intoxicated that she was “unable to communicate” the couple’s address to the cab driver, who eventually lost his patience and just drove them to the police station where she too was (not surprisingly) arrested for public intoxication. COMMENTS: Rough start. These two couldn’t even make it two hours into the holiday without getting arrested for consuming a completely debilitating quantity of libations. Maybe they should have eaten some more corned beef before that fifteenth Irish Car Bomb.

Intoxicated Co-ed Attempts to Light Bar Staff’s Clothes on FireCRIME: A heavily intoxicated 23-year-old Santa Barbarian tried to “light an employee’s tie on fire” in a popular local nightclub at approximately 1:30am on St. Patrick’s Day morning. The employee refused to press charges (think arson, battery, attempted murder, etc.) but SBPD took the guy in for being drunk in public anyway. OBSERVATIONS: This is a new one for us and, admittedly, we’re baffled. Is this some kind of practical joke the kids play on each other these days? Maybe he was trying to light the guy’s cigarette? Singe his pubes off? Was the employee actually wearing the tie? Come on guys, we need more details on this one. We just don’t get it.COMMENTS: The young reveler is lucky the employee could take a joke – we assume this was some sort of practical joke gone bad – otherwise he may have been facing some serious jail time. Oh wait, it’s the Luck of the Irish!

Stubborn Irish Bastard Refuses to Move from Lawn, Gets Arrested CRIME: A 45-year-old man, dressed suspiciously in green, refused to leave an Eastside lawn at 2:15pm. (Not his own.) He was eventually arrested for public intoxication. OBSERVATIONS: There is really nothing else here. This dude went to jail for being drunk and stubborn. (Sounds like at least one of our wives, come to think of it.)COMMENTS: See, this is what we love about St. Paddy’s Day. People are arrested for the craziest shit – first attempted arson on a tie, now the mid-afternoon, totally non-violent yet utterly steadfast refusal to simply leave somebody else’s front lawn. Classic.

The Happiest Day of the Year

Drunken Driver Falls on Face As He Exits His VehicleCRIME: While patrolling the Mesa, SBPD spied a vehicle weaving hard between lanes with loud music pouring from its windows at around 2:30pm. They pulled the car over and the driver, a 28-year-old local man, fell flat on his face as he was exiting the vehicle. He was arrested for driving under the influence. OBSERVATIONS: We’d have loved to watch SBPD administer the field sobriety tests here:

SBPD: Sir, can you please say the alphabet backward?DRUNK GUY (slurring heavily): 1, 2, ah, 3…SBPD: Sir, the alphabet. Backward. [DRUNK GUY stands on one foot and pokes himself in the left eye as he reaches for his nose with his right hand.]SBPD: Ok, sir, please breathe just into this device.[DRUNK GUY falls flat on his face again.]

You get the idea. He actually blew a .24 BAC, three times the legal limit, and it was only just after noon. Oh, and he was unlicensed to boot. Nice. COMMENTS: Drunk driving is lame anywhere. But it is really lame up on the Mesa, when you are literally fall-down drunk on St. Patrick’s Day, perhaps the highest revenue generating day of the year for DUIs. (Darryl Genis, can you confirm or deny this?) This guy shouldn’t have even been walking around the Mesa. (Come to think of it, maybe that’s why he was driving in the first place… he couldn’t walk.)

Redondo Beach Man Beats Wife While Asking Puzzling Rhetorical QuestionsCRIME: At approximately 8pm, a green-clad 56-year-old Redondo Beach man socked his wife in the face – twice – while screaming, “This is how you repay me?” at her as she was “covered up in a defensive position.” When SBPD arrived, he was, ah, less than cooperative, so eventually they stunned him in the chest with a taser and hauled him off to the slammer. (We hope he was beaten mercilessly by another inmate. Seriously.) OBSERVATIONS: We assume that his question was a rhetorical one. And to say that the wife was in a “defensive position” makes this whole thing sound like some reality television boxing match. We’ve been taunted for it before, but we’ll say it again. Don’t hit girls. It just ain’t right. Period. COMMENTS: “Don’t Tase me, bro!”

Young Woman Mercilessly Beats Vehicles and Refuses to Leave Gas StationCRIME: A 21-year-old woman from Santa Barbara refused to leave a Westside gas station and pounded on the hoods of a bunch of cars at around 11:22pm. She was taken in for being drunk in public. OBSERVATIONS: Some people like women who get rowdy and bang on cars. We’re just saying. COMMENTS: Sounds like a genuine Irish woman. Awesome.

Sick Pervert Jumps Out from Behind Tree; Exposes Corned Beef and Cabbage CRIME: A 20-year-old Santa Barbara man “jumped out from behind a tree” and exposed his, ah, twig and berries to a young woman who was walking home. (Talk about wrong place, wrong time. Ew.) OBSERVATIONS: Apparently, this young man – maybe we should call him a boy – was able to get all his stuff out into view through the hole in the front of his boxers. (Talk about a potato famine.) Definitely not an Irish man. Not only do we understand them to be well-endowed, but we also understand that they are not known for dexterity. And this feat undoubtedly took very little of the former and quite a bit of the latter. COMMENTS: We’ve never understood men who do this – what’s the point? Here’s an idea: Approach the woman in the bar. (Keep your pants on.) Try to engage in conversation, woo her with your humor and intellect. (Keep your pants on.) See how it goes, man, learn some patience. You sure as hell ain’t getting laid after jumping out from behind a tree. Especially with the frank and beans crammed through the hole in your boxers. That’s just gross.

Well, that’s it. Another St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone. We’re already looking forward to next year. While we wait with bated breath, just remember friends: Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. (Or may you be in heaven for a half an hour before the goddamned devil knows you’re dead.) Slainte!


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Dear Matt – We, the readers, salute your harmless and humorous Sentinel for its breezy intelligence,

lack of affectation and refreshing open-mindedness. Hence, this basic question, addressed to you, its Chief of Staff:

If it is proven that “laughter is the best medicine,” then why do we need a second “Asclepian Healing Sanctuary” in Santa Barbara (see The Mindful Word, Vol. 2; Issue 9)? What’s wrong with simply reading the Sentinel? Does it not fulfill this very purpose at the lowest possible cost?

I, for one, merrily throw away my crutches and cane each time this esteemed publication comes to racks around town, and never fail to giggle with SBPD over the crime report. Admitted, the award-winning blogger who so masterfully delivered The Mindful Word is hilarious in her own way and appears well-cast as a “journaling instructor demonstrating the power of embodied writing.”

I envy the lucky six who “will gain acceptance to the co-facilitated and multi-faceted, multi-disciplinary session.” I trust I would fit in and pass the harsh medical assessment of the Yin-Yang Jungian panel of analysts. Who would not love to be locked in “a stunning mountain retreat overlooking the Pacific Ocean” with a glass of Pinot Noir to help down the dramatic “impactful changes which neurosciences have validated?” I may nevertheless need a word of reference from you, Matt, since the competition will be tough… not to mention the cost.

Thanks a lot for your help. Have another good day and another good laugh at (oops! in) paradise, even if it’s past midnight for you.

Regine AstierSanta Barbara (Editor’s Note: Classic letter, Regine. I

actually enjoyed Ms. Raab’s piece on the Santa Barbara Healing Sanctuary, although you may want to save your money and instead simply pick up the Sentinel and a Pinot Noir of your own for a little healing each week. (Laughter is indeed the best medicine, in my humble opinion, anyway.) My feeling is that if you have to ask how much the Asclepian Healing Sanctuary costs, then you probably can’t afford it… even if the healing benefits are incredible (as they likely are). Regardless, and even though it is highly unlikely to do you any good, you have my highest reference and best personal regards. Keep picking us up. And thanks for writing. – MSM)

The Ringer SucksOne of my favorite Sentinel features has

been your cheeky reports of local crimes.

Letters Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or

perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at [email protected].

Brave Santa BarbaraYou now have introduced a fake story into the mix and turned it into a game. This section is no longer news but should be labeled as a puzzle. Leave “Crimetime” as it was and add a sudoku if you think the readers need diversions.

Nick TripodesSouth Pasadena(Editor’s Note: I’m glad you’ve been

enjoying Crime Time, Nick, we continue to enjoy writing it. We will never add a Sudoku – mark my words – but may play the Ringer game again from time to time, despite your disdain for it. I’m a little surprised that you didn’t even venture a guess at the fake crime; you really missed out on the possibility of a significant coup. Oh well.

Perhaps most importantly, please let us know if we have any more readers in South Pasadena; we’re looking to expand. Thanks for the note and, come on Nick, let me know your guess at the Ringer. Nobody’s got it right yet. – MSM)

Ringer StingerI’m going with Bipolar Man Beats

Vehicles with Skateboard. Too much detail in there. What’s my prize?

J. TomlinsonGoleta(Editor’s Note: No prize, J. Tomlinson,

you broke the rules and didn’t provide the minimum number of words. But we’ll overlook that minor issue, especially since you got it wrong anyway. A self-diagnosed bipolar man actually did beat a number of cars with his skateboard. Take your pills people! – MSM)

Funk Zone CoverageDear Matt – I found last week’s column,

Opening the Vault, a welcome direction for the Sentinel. It was intelligent and loose but also broke some real news and provided much-needed insight into what’s actually happening in the Funk Zone. I’d read a lot of complaints but very little substance up to that point. It’s also nice to see at least one paper standing up for what does appear to be “responsible development.” I, like you, am looking forward to the finished product. Thanks.

W. SmithSanta Barbara(Editor’s Note: Thanks very much

for the letter, I’m glad you enjoyed the column. Sherry Villanueva is a wealth of information (and a pretty cool woman, to boot), and it was fun, frankly, to learn about the project and see her enthusiasm. I’m looking forward to sitting down with others involved as they all get closer to opening their respective doors. Can’t wait. – MSM)


that these friends want to bring to their establishment.

The restaurant was originally going to be called Josie’s, however they later decided to change it to her last name, Hoffman. When they found a plaque for Bernhard Hoffman in El Paseo across the street, everyone took it as a sign and the name Hoffman Brat Haus was there to stay. Bernhard Hoffman was an engineer in the early 20th century whose interpretive styling of Spanish architecture became the standard in Santa Barbara after the earthquake in 1925. His vision recreated Santa Barbara’s appearance and “that is what we want to do here. We hope to transform the city with the same kind of love and vision that Bernhard brought to this town,” Nick expressed with a passionate flare.

As creative as one can get with food pairings, often times the simple matches remain the most satisfying.

Pizza and beer, for example, will forever be an all-time favorite meal of mine; the same could be said of bratwurst and brew. One of the best beer and food experiences I’ve had (and there have been many) was eating a weiswurst with my family in Zurich, Switzerland. The sausage was so succulent that I was shocked when a geyser didn’t burst forth from its juiciness. When embellished with the mustard’s sharpness this experience has forever carved its way into my memory. Yet in spite of these flavors’ intensity, the beer was able to completely cut through their strength and leave my palate feeling refreshed and somehow transformed with its delicate floral flavors.

Fortunately, I no longer have to travel afar to experience this favored food pairing of mine.

Hoffman Brat Haus (801 State Street)

is now open in Santa Barbara. This new eatery features bratwursts and Belgian waffles but the more important point is that they focus on German and Belgian beers (my favorite genres). Located in Paseo Nuevo, this restaurant offers guests

a variety of dining options. On the bottom floor patrons can order

at the bar, taking their food to go, or sitting outside in Santa Barbara’s splendor. Head upstairs and you will be welcomed by an inviting area decorated with wood, stone and brick. An outside balcony allows visitors to enjoy their meal while taking in the American Riviera’s beauty. A custom-made I-beam tap system displays their eight draft beers with sparkling glassware surrounding it. Hoffman Brat Haus also has about 15 beers in bottle and their diverse selection of brews are accompanied by the correct glassware; one of the few places in the area to do this (believe me, it matters).

A Shared Vision of Meat and Beer

While the Brat Haus is a collective vision of four families, it is Josie Hoffman who brings her farm-to-table experience to the restaurant. Her husband, Joel, is a woodworker (Hoffman Fine Furniture) and is responsible for the building’s timber that lines the restaurant with mahogany and earth tones. The team was complete when they brought in Nick Kellam, whose family owns Mesa Café and had just helped open Casa Blanca, to manage the restaurant. Together they felt that Santa Barbara was in dire need of a brat house (which I absolutely agree with). In the middle ages, monasteries provided safe havens for travelers and provided them with warmth and sustenance (and beer) in a social atmosphere, and this is the spirit

That’s Bartender Brittany with my Ayinger Celebrator – a delightful doppelbock that paired really well with my sausage.

Condiments. Yum.

Hoffman’s Brat Haus in Paseo Nuevo – go check it out!

That’s my duck and bacon sausage piled high with cara-melized onions and spicy pep-pers. (Wow.)

Hoffman Brat Haus Brings the Beer (or Sausage Fest)

by Zach Rosen

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.


The Meat of the MatterOne of Nick’s (and many of Brat

House’s customers’) favorites is the duck and bacon sausage. I tried it alongside Ayinger Celebrator (a doppelbock) and topped it with caramelized onions, spicy peppers and a side of fries. The savory backbone of the sausage’s taste is accented by the slight salty smoked notes of the bacon. Its spiciness is very mellow and the jalapenos simply add a sweet, chile element to the experience. The beer brought an almond brittle-like finish to the sausage’s buttery flavor. The fries were large, fluffy and seasoned with rosemary and other spices that bring a minty fragrance to their flavor. A side of chipotle aioli helped enrich the meal’s smokiness and brought a hickory note to the beer’s dense malty character.

It was a quasi-religious experience.Sausages are delivered daily and will not

see the inside of a freezer. Almost every one of their sausages is gluten-free and they do offer a gluten-free bun on the menu. Nick is planning on introducing several gluten-free beer offerings so that customers can keep their entire meal absent of this pesky protein. For those who want their proteins devoid of animals, Hoffman Brat Haus offers three vegetarian selections including an Italian sausage made with red wine, eggplant and fennel.

Another exotic pairing is the Weihenstephaner Vitus (the world’s oldest brewery) with their mango habanero chicken sausage. The beer’s fragrant banana liqueur flavor will blend with the wurst’s sweet, fruity mango taste to bring a tropical element to the meal. This weizenbock (strong German-style wheat beer) has a creamy, bread-like note that helps soothe the sausage’s spiciness (which is pretty mellow to begin with). A brisk carbonation and menthol-like warmth from the beer’s high alcohol content (7.7% ABV) helps cleanse the sausage’s richness.

While their selection of sausages is the Brat Haus’s star offering, they also specialize in Belgian waffles that use ingredients imported from Belgium to recreate the street experience in Liège. “Many people are coming in for the brats and beer but leave talking about the waffles,” Nick describes. (And with selections of ice cream and Nutella for toppings, who can blame them?) I have yet to try the waffles but think that alone warrants another visit (and another beer). Hoffman Brat Haus is a much needed addition to the blossoming Santa Barbara beer scene and it is comforting to know one does not need to travel far for one’s beer and bratwurst fix.

Beer. Meat. Yum.

r e s t a u r a n t

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unique mexican dining experience

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Joel Hoffman did quite a job with the interior and really made the Brat Haus a comfortable spot.

Bartender Brittany pours brews with a smile.


8•Days•a•WeekWe Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

• FridayMarch 22– Welcome Back, El EncantoPhew. What a week, man, this one wasn’t any pushover. In fact, in light of the challenges we all met and overcame this past week, we dedicate the entire upcoming one to rest and relaxation, to self-gratification and self-preservation.The truth is that we’ve all worked hard for the past five days, put in our time, and now the weekend is upon us again (mercifully). We’re in the mood to kick up our feet and celebrate a bit. And, coincidentally, there is a Santa Barbara classic re-opening its newly redesigned, refurbished doors tonight. Head up to the El Encanto after work for a martini and just about the best sunset view in town. Trust us, it will be worth it. You may have to navigate a bit of a crowd – it should be a barnburner up there – but that’s nothing a lovely Grey Goose martini, up, with a couple olives won’t solve. What the hell, have a couple of them tonight. (We sure will.) Buy a round or two for you and the crew. It’s Friday, everybody, have some fun out there. (Just do us a favor and don’t drive.)

• SaturdayMarch 23– Savoring SaturdayFirst of all, get up, get moving and get down to the Farmers’ Market at Santa Barbara and Cota Streets. Stop into the French Press for a delicious little cappuccino – drink it there, at one of the tables out front, it’s quite a treat. Then walk over and get your fresh produce, meat and milk, grab some terrific flavored nuts, and definitely don’t miss the olive bread rolls. (They’re heavenly. Seriously.) Then get back to the house and put together a little late breakfast or early lunch from what you picked up. Crank the Zeppelin and sit in that sunny spot in the yard. Read. Cruise.

– Library TunesIf you’re up for it, there’s a free concert presented by the Santa Barbara Music Club at the Faulkner Gallery in the Central SB Library (40 East Anapamu) at 3pm. You could hit The French Table for a little snack – maybe a Kronenbourg 1664 and a French onion soup or a savory (ok… go sweet) crepe – before heading over to see violinists James Ricardo and Ron Keil and pianist Marian Drandell Gilbert knock out some popular folk dances, followed by some classical and opera (Madame Butterfly!). Call (805) 969-7183 or check out www.musicclub.org. But don’t pressure yourself here. Mellow day, folks, easy one. Just cruise it.

– Give a Dog a BoneOh, and for you teenaged readers who love doggies (do we actually have any of those? is the Sentinel even appropriate for teenagers? the ones who like dogs?), the Goleta Library is inviting you to come on over from 3:30–4:30pm to make homemade treats for shelter dogs. You are requested to bring a couple baking sheets so you can get the treats you make back home to be baked, then you can bring them to DAWG Santa Barbara or back to the Goleta Library for delivery to the shelter. Call (805) 964-7878 for more information and to register. (EIC Matt Mazza’s wife may actually lie about her age to participate. Wonder what the implications of Matt marrying a teenager could be – even a fake teenager? Crime Time, here he comes!)

• SundayMarch 24– Traces If you can, we say make some love this morning. What the hell, right?Then a great cup of coffee – use the French press today (if you don’t have one, get one and learn how to use it) – and cook your favorite breakfast. Better yet, call

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show, or anything else interesting or creative

that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly one that has yet to be published.

some friends and have them over for mimosas and eggs and toast mid-morning. There are few better things than a fun brunch crowd at the house on a nice Sunday.But don’t drink too much champagne (who needs OJ anyway?). There’s a cool show at The Granada Theatre this afternoon and we don’t want you burnt out. UCSB Arts & Lectures presents the Santa Barbara premiere of Traces, a pretty highly reviewed show that features tons of amazing acrobatics, music, dance, skateboarding and basketball and other stuff (yeah, you read all that right) by a Montreal-based circus troupe called 7 Fingers. This is going to be fun, so get your tickets early. Go to www.ArtsAndLectures.ucsb.edu or www.granadasb.org, or call (805) 893-3535 or (805) 899-2222, respectively.

• MondayMarch 25– Spring Breakers This is sort of like the official start of Spring Break for many area schools. Dear God, parents, what are you going to do?!We have a pretty simple suggestion: Drop the kids off at Grandma’s and enjoy a Spring Break Escape at Bacara Resort & Spa. (It sounds so bad, we know, but it will feel so good. We’re hedonistic and we know it! Clap your hands.) There are private estate wine tours, social media photography classes and stargazing opportunities with the astronomical society. There’s beach fun and outdoor activities and indoor activities and a spa and great food, all in a terrific spot. It ain’t cheap, we know, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. (We’ll have the financial irresponsibility, please, with a side of personal bankruptcy consideration and a lifetime of working a boring job we secretly hate in an effort to retire and play bad golf and worse tennis in a stiflingly boring retirement. Oh, and hold the tomatoes.) You know what? Bring the damned kids. They are pretty cool, and they’ll have a blast too. Just don’t sit next to us at the pool… ours are going to Granny’s. www.bacararesort.com.

• TuesdayMarch 26– Tranquil Tuesday It’s Tuesday, and if you aren’t at Bacara, we have another thought about pampering. (Remember, it’s all about rest and relaxation and self-preservation. Don’t forget.) Breakfast at Tupelo Junction Café – and take your time, answer calls and respond to emails if you must but take your time – then hit the office. Rather than rushing out for lunch (you’re probably still satisfied from that wonderful breakfast you ate), make an appointment for a massage at Float Luxury Spa. All you need is an hour. Sit by the fire in your robe, read a magazine, take it easy. Then dive into a little deep tissue work. Slip back into your clothes, grab an apple from the bowl, and then head back to the office. Leave early. Go home. Quiet time. www.tupelojunction.com; www.floatluxuryspa.com.

• WednesdayMarch 27– Visit With AmmaThere is at least one thing today that fits with our mellow theme of self-gratification this week. Go check out Amma Sri Karunamayi, a spiritual teacher and humanitarian who spent ten years meditating as a young woman in a remote forested area of India like many great saints and sages. (What the hell were we doing as young people? I mean, we spent some time in forests but we were definitely not meditating. Let’s leave it at that.) Her mission is to provide spiritual and material help to all in need. Amma’s foundation operates a hospital, a number


This project is funded in part by the Organizational Development Grant Program using funds provided by the City of Santa Barbara in partnership with the

Santa Barbara County Arts Commission.

Visit www.sbco.org or call (805) 966-2441 for tickets!

For almost 20 years, Rob Kapilow has brought the joy and wonder of classical music, and unraveled some of its mysteries, to audiences of all ages and backgrounds.

What Makes It Great? Beethoven’s Violin ConcertoMarch 22 7:30pm Lobero

Chee-Yun, guest violin soloist

FamilyMusik Four SeasonsMarch 24 4:30pm LoberoThe Four Seasons is a set of

beautiful Baroque violin concertos for which Maestro Kapilow has developed his own spin, sure to sweep you away into the mesmerizing world of classical music!

PH

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presents

Once again, SBCO expands its season with

mUSICALLY eNGAGING eXPERIENCES.Designed to unravel some of the mysteries of classical music, mee concerts are exiting and interactive performances hosted by Music Educator Rob Kapilow to enhance understanding and enjoyment of LIVE classical music for all ages!

Our method calls for small groups(6 maximum) and conversation as soon as it is possible

• 12 WEEK SPRING SESSION|April 8 – June 28, 2013

• Evening Classes 5, 6 & 7 pm and Saturdays

SPANISH LANGUAGEINSTITUTE SIGLO 21P.O. BOX 23057SANTA BARBARA, CA 93121

LEARN TO SPEAK SPANISHwith Alonso Benavides, Ph.D.

12 Sessions $240 • 24 Sessions $480 • Private Lessons $60hremail: [email protected] • web: spanishschoolsbca.com or call (805) 898-8987

of schools and an old age home, and is bringing clean water to a leper colony and building 5,000 small houses those in need. Wow. She will be at Unity Church (227 East Arrellaga) at 11am. Call (805) 687-0607, or go to www.karunamayi.org.We say bring a lunch and eat it in Alice Keck Park while you ponder life’s deepest and most profound questions after the talk. Find your center.

• ThursdayMarch 28– Visions of the Gaviota CoastGet some culture and do some good. Support the Gaviota Coast Conservancy and Save Naples organization up at Bacara (again) today. Visions of the Gaviota Coast, a collaboration of the artists from SCRAPE – Southern California Artists Painting for the Environment – and fine art photographer Reeve Woolpert will install more than 100 works depicting the Gaviota Coast for a two-day exhibition (March 28-29, 2013). Admission is free, and 40% of any sales will go to the aforementioned non-profits. There’ll be a silent auction, live music, screening with filmmaker question and answer periods and a bunch of cool art. Sounds like fun to us. Check out www.gaviotacoastconservancy.org, www.savenaples.org and/or www.s-c-a-p-e.org, for a full schedule and more details. Should be great.

– MOSCOT at MuniAlternatively, you could head over to Municipal Winemakers in the Funk Zone for a MOSCOT eyewear trunk show featuring new 2013 collections of shades and prescription eyewear. (Eye Society in Montecito is putting the show on.) Wine and light snacks will be served, and a gift will be given with every purchase. Definitely worth checking out, and assuming you can actually read this without the gorgeous pair of glasses you so desperately need, we hope to see you there. Call Alisa with questions at (805) 444-5182.

• FridayMarch 29– Meet Their MeatWe know, it’s been pretty mellow. But today, meat and beer reign supreme. There are really a couple choices, though you could hit them both if you get particularly aggressive. First is the newcomer, Hoffman’s Brat Haus, located at 801 State Street (right at the main entrance to Paseo Nuevo). Before you go, though, check out Zach Rosen’s story in The Beer Guy this week; it will get you fired up. The place looks great, and we’re excited for it. (Though that fact changes nothing for our deep love for and loyalty to the Dutch Garden up near the 154. Nothing could ever replace the Dutch. What beats a hot Polish and a strong Belgian, anyway?) If the Brat Haus doesn’t meat (pun intended) all your needs, then walk through Paseo Nuevo to Eureka!. We know, we know, we’ve written about it before but the bottom line is that it’s a great place for a quick brew and a snack, and we dig it. So rejoice, Santa Barbarians, for you have made it through another 8 day week, and the weekend, with its endless Santa Barbara possibilities, is upon you yet again.


it to shore. Besides the idiocy of landing at a popular public beach and a U.S. military base, the truth is very few arrests have been made. Perhaps if the smugglers would call ahead to the Sheriff’s Narcotic Investigation Unit, or to Homeland Security, they’d be able to intercept the occupants, rather than the cargo.

We’ve heard a lot from politicians throughout the last election and since on matters of illegal immigration. But where was the discussion about the “war on drugs” that carries a $238.2 billion (FY 2013) Federal Drug Control budget? This doesn’t even factor in criminal justice, crime victim, emergency room and treatment costs, lost productivity, police enforcement and corrections costs.

The website DrugWarFacts.org states that in 2012, the total cost of our Federal drug ‘control’ was $1.5 trillion. That’s a lot of money, even though the shock value of $1 trillion (a one followed by twelve zeros) has worn off considerably in today’s fanciful world of federal funding.

The budget for the DEA has increased forty-fold since its 1973 inception under Pres. Richard Nixon. From its initial $65 million and 2,800 employees carrying out five goals of “drug eradication,” it has been so successful in NOT meeting its mission, that it’s now grown to over 11,000 employees with a budget of $2.6 billion.

Which doesn’t include the Arlington, Virginia DEA Museum, where “admission is free,” for the self-guided tour and you can purchase stuffed K9 dogs and holiday ornaments in their gift store to remind you of the various tributes and displays to their overall utter failure as a drug-deterring agency. Open 10 am to 4 pm Tuesday through Friday... must be those government furloughs.

Let’s come back to California for some up-to-date reality checks on the Mexican and American government attempts to eradicate illegal drugs. Stated succinctly by Eduardo Porter in a recent New York Times article, “...the struggle on which they (Mexico and the U.S.) have spent billions of dollars and lost tens of thousands of lives over the last four decades has failed. Its threadbare victories – a drug seizure here, a captured kingpin there – pale against its cost in blood and treasure. And its collateral damage, measured in terms of social harm, has become too intense to ignore.”

Of heroin, cocaine and marijuana, only the latter has not dropped significantly in

before responding to pot calls. We voted for that, with Measure P in 2007, backed by Capps. We should apparently learn to enjoy pot smoke blown in our faces on sidewalks.

Public drinking, inebriation, urination, and defecation are now de-facto legal because juries find these cases to be time-wasters, understandably. Even if they convict, well, there’s no room at the jail. Surely there are better ways to handle these things, goes the current school of thought. Maybe, but nothing better was actually put in place.

Weaken the stick that kept order, and don’t replace it – what did we expect to happen?

Some days it starts looking like there are scant few rewards to continue being a good citizen, and a whole lot of grief.

The veneer of civilization is very thin. Lately, it’s starting to feel fairly malnourished.

Whatever Floats Your Boatby Loretta Redd

I t wasn’t the Irish who floated up to the beaches near Refugio on St. Patrick’s

Day, but there was plenty of green to go around! Yet another panga boat was discovered, along with its bales of marijuana, but like little leprechauns, the transporters were nowhere to be found.

A proliferation of panga boats seem to be heading into our Central Coast faster than the cruise ships and blue whales this season. Recent Coast Guard notices suggest these drug and human smuggling vessels are launched from Mexico every three days. The distance between Mexico and the Central Coast is roughly 500 miles, and they travel along shipping routes sixty miles offshore.

Guess their gas prices must be lower than ours. Some make it to their destinations undetected, others may be lost at sea altogether, but at least twenty have made their way to Santa Barbara County shores in the last year.

The volume of marijuana carried by these broad hulled, lightweight, camouflaged boats is significant: 2,000 pounds in this most recent haul, 2,500 pounds found at Pt. Magu, 1,500 pounds at Malibu, and just last week, 1,700 pounds on the beach at Vandenberg Air Force Base. Combined street value of just this recent flotilla? Over $14 million. Maybe Governor Jerry Moonbeam should start selling the stuff to pay off California’s debt, instead of holding it as evidence.

In addition to weed, the panga often carry illegal immigrants who pay $5-$10,000 apiece to make the journey, and often end up as shark food if a lighter boat ensures having the necessary fuel to make

1. A restaurant manager calls the police on a transient who assaulted his employee, the third assault this month. He receives a violation from the city the same day for trimming a bush at the edge of his property that partially overhangs a city sidewalk.

2. A restaurant owner faces the Architectural Board of Review. His remodel is complete, but the ABR wants to review his choice of light brackets. With his $300 per hour architect at his side, he watches nervously as the ABR dickers over the color. “Mariner brown” seems to keep more with the architectural aesthetics of Milpas St. The owner wanted sea-foam green, but knew to have an alternative at the ready. He later writes a check for the security guard required in his restaurant. Patrons and staff have been assaulted. They’ve found drug needles in the bathroom. He constantly frets about their safety. But at least he’ll be able to finally install light brackets, albeit in mariner brown.

3. A man is pulled over for a non-working taillight at Ortega and State. While he waits for the officer to write a fix-it ticket, he watches three young men smoke pot openly on a State Street bench.

4. A downtown auto shop owner struggles repeatedly with graffiti on his wall next to a sidewalk. The city cites him every time it is vandalized. He has to keep painting it over, at his expense. After 10 years of this, he begs the city to do something. They paint the wall an ugly shade of blue, covering two thirds of the way up. Scrawls immediately appear. Neighbors try police patrols, neighborhood watches, and streetlights. Nothing worked. So they collaborate with the owner to organize a street-art mural on the wall. Several months later, the mural is untouched by graffiti, but the owner receives a notice of violation from the city for painting the wall a non-standard color. His only recourse now is to pay a fee to plead his case, or paint it white, returning a blank canvas to vandals.

5. A gang member awaits trial in jail for beating a man to the point of inflicting brain damage. His bail is significantly reduced, probably due to jail overcrowding. He gets out, commits a stabbing, and is re-arrested. The next day, a resident near the stabbing site walks around the blood on the sidewalk to leave for work. It’s 9:07 am. There’s a ticket on her car stamped 9:03 am. The street

sweeper is supposed to come between 9 am and 12 pm.

6. A businessman calls the police repeatedly for people drinking on the sidewalk outside his business. The police tell him there’s a homeless shelter nearby, this goes on every day, and there are higher priority calls. Besides, open-container cases are difficult to prove. The businessman receives a notice from the city that his business sign, in his window for 20 years, is in violation of the sign ordinance.

These are actual everyday occurrences in Santa Barbara. There’s plenty of blame to go around, so insert your cause-of-choice here.

But the effect is that we’re creating two distinct societies: one of law-abiding folks rewarded for their good behavior with ever more stringent rules to follow and strict enforcement, while those who commit illegal acts against them are left pretty much to their own devices.

How’d we get here? Well, good citizens will submit themselves to a maze of regulations, and pay all resulting fees. Our state and local governments, always hunting for revenues, bank on that. Extensive staff is deployed to catch those errant shrub-trimmers and sign-violators. We seem to enjoy policing our fellow citizens into the standards we’ve set for our city.

The less-than-law-abiding reap the reward of a state conundrum made local. California must reduce formidable overload on its penal and criminal justice systems. Offloading the prisons was mandated by a federal court order to reduce overcrowding. That created the need to house more violent felons in jails, and ours was already overcrowded, pushing lesser offenders out onto the street.

Decriminalization measures sound good: reduce enforcement and court costs by decriminalizing low-level offences. What that really means is that while it is still technically illegal, we just stop enforcing it. Marijuana was decriminalized in Santa Barbara – the cops are supposed to wash the canines

Milpas on the MoveSix Vignettes, One City, Two Distinct Sets of Rulesby Sharon Byrne

Opinion, stories, events, and people that shape Santa Barbarasbview.com

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is exec-utive director for the Milpas Community Association, and cur-rently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospi-tality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com

Loretta Redd

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business own-er, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

sbview.com


price over the years. A study by the RAND Corporation, a California research organization, offers that if marijuana were legalized in California, Mexican cartels would lose about a fifth of their annual income of the $6.5 billion in illegal exports to the United States.

No wonder the flotilla of pangas is headed our way. Even Mexican ex-President Felipe Calderon realized the futility of the fight, and asked our Congress and President Obama to consider “market solutions” to reduce the flow of drugs and money by “depenalizing” marijuana use.

The fear has always been that legalizing drugs will expand drug abuse, encourage youth to enter the world of substance use, and lead to other health and social costs. Social conservatives point to the lasting effects of the Summer of Love in opposing any legalization legislation.

But that fear didn’t stop California Sen. Mark Leno, who with Senate Bill 1449, amended Section 11357 of the Health and Safety Code and Section 23222 of the Vehicle Code relating to controlled substances, to change the possession of less than one ounce of marijuana from a misdemeanor to an infraction.

The bill passed 43-33 with those whacky liberals voting 40-8 in favor, and those uber-controlling conservatives voting 23-0 against.

What difference does a word like “infraction” make, anyway? If you’re arrested on a misdemeanor, you only pay up to $100 fine, but, you are arrested, booked, given a court date and if convicted, a criminal record. All of that costs money, and time for both the arresting officer and justice system.

There were more than 61,000 such persons arrested for marijuana possession in 2009, so you do the math.

The infraction eliminated all of that (unless the possession was on school grounds, which remains a misdemeanor). And what has been the result of Mr. Leno’s bill, signed into law by then-Gov. Schwarzenegger? From 2010 to 2011, arrests for possession declined 86 percent, while all marijuana related arrests in California dropped by 70 percent.

Will the changes in drug laws that decriminalize use or possession lead to higher demand, further corruption of the youth of our nation, or simply shift the spending to drug-use prevention? I don’t know, but I do know what we’ve been

Another panga boat washes up ashore.

This panga boat had 2,000 pounds of marijuana onboard.

doing since the Nixon DEA creation isn’t helping.

The cost savings analysis data on Leno’s legislation is not yet available, but I’ll make two projections: first, the savings will be considerable and second, even those California Republicans opposed to Sen. Leno’s amendments will be eager to spend whatever money washes up on Sacramento’s shores.

Business Beatby Ray Estrada

Workzones Set to Officially Open April 4

An April 4 grand opening is planned for the latest boost for the South

Coast small businesses. Workzones is ready for business in downtown Santa Barbara’s Paseo Nuevo.

Coincidentally, the low-cost, flexible business incubator is officially set to open one year after the Synergy Business & Technology Center’s grand opening at 1 Calle Cesar Chavez near East Beach.

Dos Pueblos High School graduate and local entrepreneur Lisa Riolo is one of the owners of Santa Barbara’s Workzones on the second floor of 351 Paseo Nuevo. She met the others while attending Claremont McKenna College.

While the now fully occupied Synergy opened with some “hot tables,” a half-dozen wall cubicles, a large open space and high ceiling, Workzones is completely ready for operation with a full house of tables, chairs, couches, conference rooms, kitchen, phone booths and other amenities after a soft launch in February.

South Coast architect Michael Holliday acknowledges that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, since similar incubator plans have sprouted in San Luis Obispo, Santa Maria and Lompoc. However, he says the opening of Workzones and other small business-friendly incubators only points to the pent-up demand for more affordable work spaces.

While Synergy charges a bottom-line price of $300-a-month for a hot table, Workzones charges an even lower month rates, but also by the day to use work space or by the hour to use one of its conference rooms, said owner Lisa Riolo. Synergy soon will have some

similar prices for its conference room.The idea behind incubators such

as Synergy and Workzones is to draw new entrepreneurs out of their home offices and help them avoid coffee shop “squatting.” On any given day, one can see dozens of small business owners “squatting” at Starbucks, Coffee Cat or the Good Cup where they pull out their laptop computers and take a meeting with a client.

Riolo says Workzones will allow more small businesses to use the restaurants and other downtown attractions more often.

Holliday started Synergy last year after the business incubator he designed in a building at the corner of Gutierrez and Laguna streets was taken over by the company RightScale. He knew the pent-up demand for affordable business space would grow as the recession waned.

But now, Workzones is offering even cheaper rates smack dab in the middle of downtown Santa Barbara. For example, members can book a conference room for as little as $20 an hour. A standard membership costs as little as $174.99 month to month and a weekly pass goes for $94.99. Riolo says she hopes to get 100 members to join soon.

The Santa Barbara workforce site even caters to travelers who can book space online. Riolo says the Paseo Nuevo location probably is the first of more to come in the area.

CIO Solutions Awards $200,000 Prize

Hearts Therapeutic Equestrian Center has won $200,000 worth of

free private cloud and IT services from CIO Solutions in Goleta.

Hearts Therapeutic Equestrian Center’s mission is “to employ the power of the horse to enhance the capabilities of children and adults with special needs in the Tri-County area.” The group is recognized by the Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship International as a “premier center,” the highest level of accreditation, by demonstrating a superior adherence to national industry standards. Lessons are designed to meet riders’ particular needs and ability level and to accomplish their goals, which are established in partnership with their parents, caregivers, physicians and other therapists.

Six nonprofits in Santa Barbara, Ventura and San Luis Obispo Counties – Family Service Agency, Hearts Therapeutic Equestrian Center, New Beginnings Counseling Center, PathPoint, People’s Self-Help Housing, and Rescue Mission Alliance – made the short list to win the three years of free private cloud and IT support. The nominees and the winner were decided by online community votes, according to CIO Solutions President Eric Egolf.

Ray Estrada

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consul-tant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the Univer-sity of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com


wine near the barbeque.In fact, that’s right where I found my

new neighbors, Julia Johnson and Linda Engelsiepen, who were visiting from L.A. and having a great time. “We love the trailer,” they both laughed, “It’s different, like staying in a little community. Last night we had a couple neighbors over for some apps and a glass of wine – super fun.”

I stayed in their little yard and chatted for a moment before heading back to Santa Rosa (my trailer and, coincidentally, my hometown), grabbing an old acoustic guitar that needed some fixing, and then walking over to Jensen Guitar & Music Co., where I found Chris Jensen working hard on a beautiful steel string.

“Hey Chris, got a minute to take a look at this one?”

He smiled. “Sure.”I like Chris.Within fifteen minutes (and for just fifteen

bucks), he had my old axe ready for action, which, in turn, meant that I was at least partially ready for my night at the trailer park.

“Thanks Chris,” I said as I walked out the door, “I’m staying in one of those Airstreams across the street tonight.”

“I used to live over there,” he laughed, “looks like they’ve done a pretty good job with the place. Have fun.”

Midtown is (Very) CoolMy kids were bummed that they

couldn’t spend the night (neither Wendi

nor I could imagine staying in the trailer with two sick, coughing kids, so their complaints didn’t stand a chance), but they came down with Wendi for an early dinner. TAP Thai is a favorite for us so we strolled down after playing around the park for a bit.

We usually start with the corn cakes and summer rolls but this time the kids

wanted crispy sesame tofu with sweet and sour sauce (yummy little treat, actually). Then we split some tom kha gai for the table – nothing better for stuffy noses – and shared a delightful eggplant salad, a pad thai and some steamed vegetables and rice. Wendi drank cha dum yen; I had a Chang (or two… what can I say, I was staying in a trailer park for crying out loud). Nice little meal, and the service was terrific too.

Check out TAP Thai if you haven’t. It’s simple and it’s easy and it’s pretty damn good.

After Wendi and the girls went home for the night, I got online back at the

trailer and took care of a little work.Then I walked next door to Jimboz

Lounge for a beer.For those of you who don’t know Jimboz,

it is the former Freeman’s Lounge that now has a neon sign out front that reads, simply, “Lounge.” It’s the kind of place where you can go for a friendly bartender (Stacey, local barmaid extraordinaire, was quick with a smile) and a cold beer by yourself to watch a game.

I like that kind of place.My barstool neighbors consisted of

a reasonably intoxicated scientist from UCSB – no, not Rachelle Oldmixon, our very own mad scientist from UCSB – and, lo and behold, a local writer/media person. It made for interesting conversation and I had a blast at Jimboz.

In fact, bartender Jack – a very cool, very funny guy from Massachusetts – said it best (in a terrific Boston accent).

“This place is a great local.”You’re right Jack. I’ll be back.

I’m a Moron… I walked back over to the trailer when

it seemed reasonable to do – remember, I had no kids and no wife for the night – and quickly realized that I had inadvertently left my keys to the trailer sitting on the counter inside before I closed the door to head to Jimboz.

In other words, I’d locked myself out of the damned trailer. And there were no back up keys.

So I texted Ryan.He politely advised that there is nobody

on-site with a spare set, so he’d have to send someone down.

Great.Within ten minutes, co-owner

Matthew Hofmann arrived with keys and a friendly smile.

(Think of me smiling sheepishly, horrified and embarrassed by my stupidity.)

“Well, how do you like it?” he asked.“A lot, you guys have done a great job

and the neighborhood is cool too,” I stammered as he unlocked my door for me.

...continued from p.5

Chris Jensen fixed my guitar in fifteen minutes. He’s the man. (Thanks Chris, and thanks for selling me that very guitar 18 years ago. Let’s just say that it has made it through a few campfires.)

Who is that guy enjoying the read?


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It turns out that Matthew also owns local architectural design firm HofArc, which now exclusively does Airstream renovations, and is looking to expand the Airstream hotel business with his partner Neil Dipaoloa of Mesa Lane Partners (which recently built the stunning LOOP student housing project in Isla Vista). Neil and Matthew are looking at a number of interesting locations and concepts – and were quite aware of the Grand Daddy Hotel in Cape Town. Small world.

We talked for ten or fifteen minutes – Matthew and Neil are thrilled with the park and how it’s going – and then he hit the road. But not before reminding me, gently, to keep the keys in my pocket this time.

Thanks Matt, I really appreciate both the hospitality and the quick help. (I’m still sorry for the inconvenience and remain completely horrified.)

…And I’m Getting Hungry Again

It was around 8pm at this point, and I was getting hungry again. So I jumped on my cruiser and rode a few blocks up the street – past The Refillery and Trader Joe’s – to the Uptown Lounge. I’d heard that they are serving some pretty good wood-fired pizzas up there and wanted to check it out.

The rumors are true.I sat at the bar and shared a pesto

arugula combo and a meat lovers pizza with an amiable bartender and some

friends I bumped into – Mike and Maria Westmacott – and was about to hit the road (I’m getting too old for two bars in one night… kind of ) but spied friend and Uptown (and Chase Bar & Grill) proprietor George Marino across the room.

“Place looks great, George, and the pizzas were delicious,” I gushed.

“Thanks man,” he replied, “we’ve been busy and are always drawing more crowds for good food and good drinks. Glad you liked it.”

George is an easy guy to get along with, so I ended up staying a bit longer and having a blast before hopping back on the cruiser and coasting back down to Santa Barbara Auto Camp.

Where I slept soundly. Quite soundly indeed.

The Morning AfterI woke up around 7am – it is surprisingly

quiet in the area at that time, even despite being close to the street – called Wendi and the girls to say good morning, and then mounted my trusty cruiser again and headed up to Steve’s Patio Café for breakfast with Publisher Tim Buckley.

After I told him about my (very fun, very comfortable) night in the Airstream over some coffee and eggs and bacon (his extra crispy, mine extra wispy), he reminded me that Our Daily Bread and Los Agaves and The Daily Grind are all soon coming to the area to add to the mix of stuff to do. And Edomasa and the Santa Barbara Chicken Ranch are great

...continued p.25

Inside the San Miguel Airstream.

The Santa Rosa Airstream

(and its glamorous

bathroom), fully restored by Architect

Matthew Hofmann.


Valencia, the momentum from which the Royals used to beat San Luis Obispo and then reach the championship match of the weekend’s Dos Pueblos Invitational.

Hauschild, a hard-swinging 6’4” outside hitter, was named all-tournament. The junior also recorded team-highs in kills in two non-league, mid-week matches for the Royals.

Honorable Mentions are: Cody Bidlow, SBCC Track & Field; Steven Reveles, SBCC Track & Field; Austin Pettibone, UCSB Baseball; Bryan Fernandez, Dos Pueblos Track & Field; Glen Scher, UCSB Golf; Courtney Nuttall, Dos Pueblos Swimming; Kelli Martindale, SBHS Track & Field, Olivia Smith, San Marcos Swimming.

Local Sports Volunteer of the Month, Presented by Pacific Western BankBy Barry Punzal

The game was long over and the Santa Barbara High baseball players finished

grooming the field, packed their gear and started to head home. Most of them had gone, but one player stopped by the dugout, shook George Rempe’s hand and said, “Thanks coach. See you tomorrow.”

It was a sign of respect that’s been going on for nearly 30 years in the Santa Barbara baseball program.

The players appreciate Rempe and know he will always be there for them, helping them become better hitters and better people.

Rempe has been a volunteer coach on the Dons baseball staff since 1985, and the hitting coach for Fred Warrecker’s varsity team since 1987.

To commemorate his years of service to the Santa Barbara sports community, Rempe has been named Presidio Sports’ Volunteer of the Month, presented by Pacific Western Bank.

At age 68, this retired attorney and Vietnam War veteran could be spending his free time doing more relaxing activities. But this Arizona Wildcat chooses to follow the battle cry of his alma mater’s athletic teams – “Bear Down” – and be on the field and in the dugout, helping young men improve their game while teaching them lessons on life.

And, he’s done it while dealing with some serious health issues over the years (a

back ailment, triple bypass surgery). Most recently, he experienced kidney problems and was in the intensive care unit for a couple of days. Once he was released from the hospital, he was back on the diamond at Eddie Mathews Field.

“The boys are counting on me,” he said.“I think George’s greatest value to the

team is his dedication of the success of the players, individually and as a team,” said longtime assistant Mike Cooney, who also practices law and met Rempe through the legal community. “When players see George on the field day after day, overcoming the difficulty of merely walking from his car to the backstop, most make the effort to work on improving their own skills.”

He keeps going because of his commitment to the boys and his love for the game and what it represents.

“I was with a good law firm (Hollister and Brace) and had a good practice, but I always tell people: If I’ve done anything really significant in the world, it’s out here. If I had influence on anything in the world, it’s the influence I’ve had on these kids.

“My brother keeps saying it’s just a baseball game. No, it’s life,” he said. “To me, the reason I like baseball the most – and I didn’t realize this growing up – is it’s so much more of reality. If you’re a third baseman and you make an error, you have to stay out there; you might not get a ball for another four to five innings. If you strike out, you have to wait three innings to get another chance. In baseball, you have to live with your mistakes.

“Those are life lessons we try to teach all the time.”

Cal Poly sophomore Danny Zandona, an All-CIF player on the 2011 Dons team that advanced to the CIF semifinals, recalled how Rempe would explain to the players that the game was pretty simple.

“I remember Coach Rempe would always tell us that it doesn’t matter who we’re playing against, who’s umpiring, how bad the weather is, etcetera,” Zandona said. “To be successful, we have to focus on the things we can control. We are playing against the baseball. It really helped simplify the game and it’s something I tell myself to this day playing college ball.”

Rempe often uses stories, sayings and words of wisdom he’s picked up from other sources and weaves them into a teaching moment.

On hitting: “Hitting is like shaving. If you don’t do it every day, you look like a bum.”

On tackling difficult tasks: “I learned this from a secretary,” he said. “Look at what you got to do, figure out what you hate the most, write it down and do it first. If you do it first, the rest of your day is pleasant.”

On making yourself and the world better: “Every day you have to do something hard, not just in baseball but at home. Every day you have to do

Westmont’s women’s basketball team defeated Lee on Tuesday night 71-65 in Frankfurt,

Kentucky to win the program’s first-ever national championship.

Westmont, who finishes the season with a 30-4 overall record, sealed the school’s eighth national crown when tournament MVP Tugce Canitez connected on a runner in the lane to give the Warriors a 71-65 lead with nine seconds left. Lee (34-3) had its last two opportunities blocked as the final seconds ran off the clock.

Canitez and fellow forward Kelsie Sampson paced Westmont with 25 points each, while guard Esther Lee scored 12 points on a 4-of-5 effort from beyond the arc. Canitez, who added a game-high 20 rebounds to earn her 17th double-double of the season, ended her senior season four points shy of tying the Westmont career scoring record.

The victory completes one of the most inspiring seasons in Santa Barbara team sports history as the Warriors banded together following the unexpected death of head coach Kirsten Moore’s husband last summer.

“I’m just really happy for my players,” Moore said. “The journey that we’ve been through as a group. It’s kind of hard to find words to put around an experience like this but I think the perseverance that we’ve showed throughout the season – through on-the-court trials and off-the-court trials – I think it seasoned us for close games throughout this entire tournament.”

The Warriors won five games in

Kentucky over 10 days.Canitez was also announced as the

repeat NAIA Player of the Year.

Athletes of the Week: Tugce Canitez and Shane Hauschildby John Dvorak

San Marcos volleyball player Shane Hauschild and Westmont women’s

basketball star Tugce Canitez were announced as Athletes of the Week at Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon.

Canitez led the Warriors into the NAIA National Tournament semifinals with three victories last week. The reigning NAIA Player of the Year produced fantastic performances in each game, including a 30-point, 17-rebound effort and another in which she totaled 27 points, 12 rebounds and six assists.

Canitez, who played for Turkey in last year’s Olympics, is the second-leading scorer in all of the NAIA and the third-best rebounder.

Hauschild led San Marcos’ boys volleyball team to a rare victory over

Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the

Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

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Westmont Women Do The Work, Win NAIA National Championshipby John Dvorak

Westmont’s Tugce Canitez, the NAIA Player of the Year.

San Marcos’ Shane Hauschild, Athletic Round Table Athlete of the Week.

Westmont Warriors win the the school’s first ever National Championship.


ends with the music that is played at the ballpark.

“When we practice on Saturdays, we play music. Every year one or two kids will ask, ‘Hey, Coach, can we play my music?’ ‘No!’ And they’ll say, ‘Why not?’ and I’ll say, ‘Here’s the deal: twenty-eight years I’ve been doing this and I’ve never been paid a dime. In fact, it cost me money every year to buy things and do stuff. And, my only compensation is I don’t have to listen to your music.’”

He continued, “I called them together one year, no one had asked me, but I told them how much I liked them and that they reminded me of the kids I played with in Arizona. ‘But, I know I’m wrong because no one can like that crappy music you like and be the same.’”

He smiled while he said it.Chalk it up as just another of Rempe’s

life lessons: You can’t always get what you want.

In Finney Home, Fran Gives Care, Quality Of Life To Husband HalBy Barry Punzal

This is a love story.When Hal and Fran Finney both

ran, Hal preferred doing longer distances.That all changed four years ago. Now,

it’s Fran going the extra miles. It’s hard and draining, but she it does every day

with a heart full of love, making sure her husband has the best quality of life possible.

Hal suffers from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It’s a debilitating affliction that took over Hal’s once healthy, strong, fit body.

Fran cares for him full time in their Turnpike-area ranch home. The caregiving is taxing and intense, but when Hal smiles at her, the message it sends soothes her to the soul and gives her strength.

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something hard and you have to do something nice for somebody. If you do that every day, just think, a year from now you’ve done 365 things you didn’t want to do and you did 365 things that were nice for somebody. Just think how that carries over.”

Rempe has been doing nice things for the Santa Barbara baseball program since he came aboard.

Besides investing his time and energy, he’s paid for equipment out of his own pocket, and organized and supervised Saturday batting practices. He makes sure every player on the varsity team is recognized at the Athletic Round Table press luncheons and honors the seniors by taking them to lunch at Joe’s Cafe at the end of the season – he calls it the “Varsity Eating Club.”

Those are memories that stick with the players.

“Somebody who played in 1987 can tell

me in 2013 what they had for lunch at Joe’s,” Rempe said.

Zandona remembers the books Rempe made for every player at the end of each season.

“He includes an article for each and every game, and makes sure to mention all the guys who contributed, even if they were not mentioned in the newspaper,” Zandona explained. “He also includes photos, stats from present and past years, and different quotes and sayings about baseball. The whole process has to take him multiple weeks to complete, and he does it all for free out of generosity.

“These books are keepsakes for every player to look back on years from now, to reminisce about our high school days.”

Zandona continued, “I have a tremendous amount of respect for Coach Rempe, knowing how hard he works year in and year out not only on the books but every day at practice, throwing soft toss and working with the hitters.”

George and his wife, Cathy, have been a part of Santa Barbara High athletics for a long time. Their children, Michael and Stephanie, played sports for the Dons and both were honored as the most valuable and most inspirational athletes at the school during their senior years.

Even though he’s old enough to be their grandfather, Rempe has a good rapport with players on the baseball team.

But, the harmonious relationship

Presidio Sports’ Volunteer of the Month, George Rempe.

Hal and Fran Finney run together before Hal was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

...continued p.18

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Before he was diagnosed in August of 2009, Hal had a goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon. Now just going to bed at night and waking up in the morning is like trying to make it over Heartbreak Hill. It’s unbelievably tough.

But the power of love moves people to do amazing things. And, Fran is doing those things, not only to ensure Hal gets through each day but also so that he has purpose and enjoyment in his life despite living in a body ravaged by this terrible disease.

He’s essentially paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair, but they’ll go to Ellwood Beach, watch movies on their big screen TV, listen to music, read. They’ve even gone camping at El Capitan.

You must feel like the luckiest man in the world, a visitor said to Hal.

“Yes, very lucky,” he replied through a synthesized voice in a computer set up on his customized wheelchair.

Because of the ALS, Hal’s tongue blocked his airway. He had a tracheostomy to open the air passage through his throat, allowing him to breathe with less effort. The disease also weakened his respiratory

muscles, so there are times he needs a ventilator.

“He was able to talk for a while after his tracheostomy, but his voice was softer,” said Fran. “As time went on, he stopped being able to form words as his ALS took away his speech muscle.”

It’s an overwhelming responsibility to care for someone with Hal’s disability, but Fran, a physical therapist by profession, has plenty of help. Their son, Jason, lives at home and provides technical, physical and moral support. Like his parents, Jason, 28, attended Caltech.

And there’s “Hal’s Team” of caregivers from Hospice of Santa Barbara. They visit the home, allowing Fran to take a break.

She uses the break to run errands and meet up with friends for a run.

“I have a few friends who have arranged their schedules to my schedule. I like that,” she says. The running makes her “feel much more normal and it keeps me balanced.”

She runs with a group called the “Run Free Group,” which was organized by longtime local runners Jim and Elaine Triplett.

Running has been a big part of Hal and Fran’s life in Santa Barbara. While he enjoyed doing the longer distances and was more into the “Chi” or “Zen” of the activity, Fran preferred doing shorter, faster runs. She twice won the Elite Women’s Masters Division of the State Street Mile, with Hal as her coach.

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RUNNING REVIEW:Nike Zoom Structure +16By Frances Chase-Dunn

Finding the right running shoe can be a pain. That’s why a recent run was such

a feel-good experience thanks to the Nike Zoom Structure +16.


The latest version of the popular running shoe is one that I would recommend to runners looking for a good high mileage stability shoe with light support. It is available exclusively at Santa Barbara Running Company, which has been recognized by Nike as a trusted specialty running store.

With a 15% weight decrease from the Structure +15, I was initially deceived by the Structure +16’s light weight in hand (8.7 oz in women’s size 8 and 10.5 oz in men’s size 10). Unsure whether it would provide the stability high mileage runners need across varying terrain because of its light weight, I tested it out in a workout along Santa Barbara’s coastline through Shoreline Park.

With a new construction approach for this latest Structure called co-molding, Nike created dynamic support that is lighter and smoother in transition, which I clearly felt in the shoes’ smooth transitions and stability while running. Instead of using the heavier method of gluing stiff stock-fit medial posts to the midsole, the Structure +16 was made by fusing two compression-molded foams with heat to create a dual-density system.

Through varying uphill, downhill, flat and grassy surfaces I ran in the shoe at different speeds and completed different warm-up drills. I noticed traction and good grip immediately in my drills, but altogether the best way to describe my experience with the Structure +16 is smooth, stable and light.

Running downhill I felt a clear support in the heel and a light cushioning throughout the shoe that helped protect my feet and shins from impact. However, the light support didn’t feel overbearing, stiff or heavy like many other shoes have a tendency do and I felt very fluid, smooth contact transitions. This light cushioning provided protection for my feet, but didn’t allow my feet to sink in too much. I felt quick and light in my contacts to the ground.

Especially with my uphill sprints, I felt really great with this product’s ability to provide support while keeping me light on my feet. I was stable on my toes and wasn’t weighed down by the heel and other support. My feet didn’t feel heavy in my uphill movement as many shoes have a tendency to make me feel and I was able to make quick contacts off the ground on my toes, especially at speed.

For this reason, I think the Structure +16 would be great for not only high mileage distance runners, but also for track athletes and sprinters completing sprint and mid-distance workouts. With slight arch support, it is a good choice for those who have a tendency to pronate in as well.

With so many running shoes in stores that are heavy, bulky and stiff, this new specialty Structure +16 is for anyone who wants stable support in a running shoe that doesn’t take away from its lightness and smooth transitions. The Nike Zoom Structure +16’s lime green, purple and black accents help make it stand out from other shoes as well, making it a fun choice with its cool, snazzy look.

About the author: Frances Chase-Dunn is a former NCAA track & field athlete at UC Santa Barbara and has coached hurdles at San Marcos High School. Having dealt with injuries throughout her career, Chase-Dunn stayed busy testing out different types of running gear with the goal of preventing injury and improving performance. Chase-Dunn loves offering advice on the latest running products available.

Fran takes care of Hal in their Turnpike-area ranch home.

The Nike Zoom Structure +16, available exclusively at Santa Barbara Running Company.


FRIDAYMARCH 22 Locals Night Happy Hour

4PM-7PM Featuring: Folsom & McLychok

5PM-7PM Featuring: OutOfTheBlue

8PM-11PM

SATURDAYMARCH 23 Featuring: The Roosters

8PM-11PM

SUNDAYMARCH 24 Late Opening Due to Private Party Karaoke Hosted by Will “Uptown” Brown

6PM-11PM

MONDAYMARCH 25 Pub Quiz Hosted by Tim Duggan

6PM-8PM Industry Night Drink Specials All Night

TUESDAYMARCH 26 Brian Kinsella’s Open Mic Night

8PM-11PM

WEDNESDAYMARCH 27 All Night Happy Hour W/ M&M Live Jazz Featuring Justin Claveria Jazz Trio

7PM-10PM

THURSDAYMARCH 28 Ladies Night Happy Hour

4PM-7PM Wine Tasting EventFeaturing:Firestone Vineyards Complementary Appetizers

6PM-8PM Featuring- Brian Kinsella Band

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W hen Jeff Mangum, singer and song-writer for Neutral Milk Hotel, removed himself from

the public eye following the tour for his band’s 1998 album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, rumors circulated on the surprising exit and on what Mangum was up to, besides depriving doting fans of his heavy-handed racket. I remember a friend telling me that Mangum went crazy, that he was roaming the streets of New York City, homeless. That chestnut and variations of it must have made sense to devotees: for such a transcendent talent to not be working on more of that wild, searing music they so intimately connect with, well, insanity could be the only logical explanation. At one point, Mangum even did the unthinkable when he – gasp – turned down an offer to open for fellow Athens, Georgia “legends” R.E.M., proving that he must truly be out of his gourd.

After a few years without any word from Mangum, communication came in the form of a rare interview, this one leant to Marci Fierman, a writer for the music website Pitchfork (seems even the most elusive of our indie elite know better than to turn down these career-breaking taste-creators). Fierman turned in what has become the Rosetta Stone of Mangum’s quiet period. “I guess I had this idea that if we all created our dream we could live happily ever after,” Mangum told the journalist. “So when so many of our dreams had come true and yet I still saw that so many of my friends were in a lot of pain, I saw their pain from a different perspective and realized that I can’t just sing my way out of all this suffering.” To sum that up: Mangum realized that livin’ the dream doesn’t make problems disappear, and he took it real hard. That could be the plain truth; it could also be a

way around admitting that Neutral Milk Hotel was a band so hip they had to ditch themselves once everybody knew about them. How inconvenient it must be for bands to have fans.

And so Mangum spent the aughts as he pleased. He traveled, popping up here and there with a not-Neutral Milk Hotel vanity project or two, enjoying the luxuries entitled to any delicate genius with a consistent flow of cash coming in from a record steadily cementing itself as required dorm-room listening. Those around Mangum encouraged and enabled him to pursue his interests, presumably hoping that they would eventually lead him back behind a guitar and microphone while someone pressed “record.” Instead, record stores stocked – or special ordered, more likely – a disc of Bulgarian field recordings by Mangum. Instead of full sets, venue stages saw him for someone else’s song or two, as he made quick appearances with friends’ bands.

Jeff to Get Weird in SBLive performances from Mangum –

full sets of his own songs – have become increasingly frequent in the last few years. There was a tour in 2012 and another in 2013. Early this year, he announced another string of dates that includes his March 25 stop at Santa Barbara’s Lobero Theatre. The following is an excerpt from the message accompanying the announcement:

as for the waterfalling woman, we deeply and humbly paralogize for any inconfusion her face of fireworks may have formed while you were falling asleep.

from a thoracopagus dovecote of comets, artoria gibbons nmh records

Dust&CoverLearning to write by tracing the artist bios on the

backs of album covers, Jeremy Harbin spent his formative years in the South-ern state of Georgia, but please don’t hold that against him – since becoming a resident of Santa Barbara, he’s gotten used to the local customs (rolling through stop signs and complaining about fog). He immediately regretted his rock-writing self-education when he realized all that record sleeve scrawling decreased the eBay appeal of his collection. Have your record reviewed or local music news covered by emailing [email protected].

by Jeremy Harbin

The Plans Jeff Mangum MadeJeff Mangum showed up in Zuccotti Park to play a selection of Neutral Milk Hotel songs for some Occupy Wall Streeters in 2011.

Artwork for Neutral Milk Hotel’s In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, released in 1998.

Behold, the delightfully whimsical charm that endears us to a tragically gifted artiste, bearer of an eccentric soul and creator of the devastatingly penetrating compositions that we hold so dear: is Jeff Mangum the musician, living or dead, you’d least like to have dinner with?

Affected bore though he may be, we read Mangum’s opaque transmissions, we thrill over his unannounced appearances, we wait around for a decade to then buy up all the tickets to his shows, and we continue to buy his albums – we let Jeff Mangum be Jeff Mangum. We put up with him for the same reason we do any other artist: we like the art.

Mangum got it right; he released a manageable – and if you have the taste for it, easily digestible – body of work that draws a deeper affinity from its fans than a lot of other indie fare. The songs project a sense of emotional urgency; they’re unhinged and visceral, their lyrics cryptic in a way that leaves appreciators intrigued, not frustrated. When he left fans wanting more, he only heightened his mystique, a thing that’s never hurt anyone’s album sales. Further aiding his saintly stature in rock music is his association with the Elephant 6 collective that he helped to found, a group of bands that continued on in Mangum’s stead and a brand that reminds listeners of him whenever it comes up.

Maybe he lost heart, maybe he went a little nuts, but I think he knew exactly what he was doing. Every move seems strategic and deliberate (he’s gotten more mileage out of turning down R.E.M. than he would have if he had accepted the gig). He positioned himself perfectly to sell out shows once he felt like playing again; lucky for Santa Barbara supporters, that time has come.

With a choir of zealots shouting back every lyric, Jeff Mangum will be in his newsboy hat (he better be wearing that hat) and playing his acoustic guitar on stage at the Lobero on Monday, March 25.

Tall Firs, favorites of Mangum and Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore alike, will open. One dollar from each ticket will be donated to Children of the Blue Sky, which serves street children of Mongolia.


from that friendly, Fat Uncle Farms guy at the farmers market. When I’m in a rush in the morning and have a few Snickers bars for breakfast, I always wash them down with that wholesome, frothy and fresh, homemade almond milk and that makes me feel better about myself and life in general.

When it comes to gardening, curiously enough, I tend to lean even farther over into the green zone. When it comes to maintaining a garden or treating an occasional plant problem, I will not put anything on a garden that I would not put on my oatmeal. Well, you get my point.

Plus, here’s the thing. If you properly meet your garden’s cultural needs you should have few, if any, pest or disease problems to deal with anyway. Some years ago I figured out that plants don’t just up and get sick for no reason. They’re like humans in that if they’re compromised in any way they will be susceptible to maladies that they would not otherwise fall prey to. If you, as a human person eat poorly, deprive yourself of sleep and exercise, smoke, drink and do too many drugs, you’ll probably get sick.

Similarly, if your sun-loving, Heavenly Bamboo (Nandina domestica) is planted in the shade and doesn’t get enough water or nutritious natural fertilizer, it will likely be victimized by a marauding band of aphids or get powdery mildew or some other disease because it is weak and vulnerable from not having its cultural needs met.

But occasionally, in spite of doing your best, you may run into some plant pitfalls. And if you do, keep in mind that for almost every quick-fix, non-earth friendly gardening remedy or practice, there is a less toxic way to get the same result. Sometimes, it takes more time and funds to drive that healthy or organic route, but you’ll sleep better at night knowing that you did your part to not poison your little piece of the planet.

Plant FoodThere are so many of types of fertilizers

and plant foods at the nurseries that it seems almost impossible to know which ones are the best to use. There are granular, petroleum-based products, water-soluble powders, food spikes, time-release pellets and natural or organic choices.

I personally go for the natural stuff. Dr. Earth and E.B. Stone make good products and Island Seed & Feed in Goleta carries

what they call their “landscape mix.” The recipe is comprised of cottonseed meal, alfalfa and other hearty ingredients.

Keep in mind that when you use organic fertilizers, they break down more slowly and in many ways feed the soil that in turn make the nutrients available to the plants. They often work better when put under a layer of compost where they are in closer contact with the plant roots and stay moist and viable. Scattering any type of fertilizer on parched, bare, garden soil isn’t as effective as working it into moist loamy garden soil or under your garden mulch.

I’ve found that dogs are often attracted to the organic type of food and will try to chow down on it after you’ve put it in the garden. Watering it in thoroughly and keeping them out of the garden for a few days is probably a good thing to do.

To be continued...Next time: Earth-friendly thoughts on

lawns, bugs and compost.

Holy Week (March 24-31)

Palm Sunday (March 24)

Worship – 9:30 a.m.

Study & Discussion – 11:00 a.m.

Maundy Thursday (March 28)

Seder Meal - 6:00 p.m.

Good Friday (March 29)

Tenebrae Service - 7:00 p.m.

Easter Sunday (March 31)

Celebration - 9:30 a.m.

Study & Discussion - 11:00 a.m.

3721 Modoc RoadSanta Barbara, CA 93105

805.687.3734

I once had a vegetarian friend who insisted he would not eat anything with a face or a mother. I am not a

vegetarian and I will eat anything whether it has a face, a mother or a half-sister. I am not ovo-lacto and I am not doing the paleo diet. But although I am hardly a sprout nazi, I do have some sense and consciousness about the fuel that I put in my body, and try to do the right thing – mostly in moderation. For example, twice a week I stoically make my own almond milk from organic, raw almonds that I get

“Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at [email protected]

by Randy Arnowitz

in the Garden withMr. Greenjeans

Can’t have too much mulch.

Earthworm castings and chicken manure. These are a few of my favorite things!

Don’t let the bag fool you. Lots of good stuff in there and Island Seed & Feed sells it. (New Zealand flax sold separately.)

Almost Organic

Randy’s Quick Pick

I’m going to tell you about a book that could put me and others in the gardening/landscape industry out of business for good. Pat Welsh’s Southern California

Organic Gardening is a book that tells you, month by month, what, when and how to plant, feed, prune, divide and do everything else in your Southern California garden. You look up January and it will tell you that yes, it’s time to prune your roses. You look up April and you’ll discover that you can now take cuttings from your epiphyllums.Buy this book and you’ll never need a gardener again.


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W hether you like your entertainers fresh-faced, eager and still in high school, or older and grizzled

(not to mention switching genres), we’ve got you covered on the pop music front.

The kids kick things off on Saturday night with the fourth annual Teen Star Santa Barbara. The American Idol-style competition – in fact, it started out as Santa Barbara Teen Idol – aims to discover the best teen solo singing talent in Santa Barbara County each winter-spring. All seventh- to twelfth-grade students enrolled in a Santa Barbara County school are eligible to audition by singing a cappella a short snippet of a song in a closed session in front of the audition judges following a brief interview. The judges – who also provide feedback to help the contestants grow in their experience and prepare them for future auditions – then select the finalists to come back and show their stuff live in front of both the judges and an audience.

Dos Pueblo is truly representing this year, with 3 of the 10 finalists in attendance at the Goleta high school, including 2012 finalist returnees Xeni Tziouvaras and newcomers Jason Paras and Nathaniel Neumann; two finalists hail from Carpinteria High, Allie Nixon and Kendall Kincaid. The rest of the competitors duking it out at the Granada beginning at 7pm Saturday night are Madeleine Meyer (Providence Hall High), Jason Hahs (San Marcos), Justice Sweeney (Olive Grove Charter), Julieanna Bartling (Laguna Blanca High) and Gabriel Reali (Santa Barbara High), who was also a finalist last year.

The finalists took part in training sessions with J.R. Richards, lead singer of million-selling Santa Barbara

band Dishwalla (“Counting Blue Cars”) to prep for the big final showdown.

Each will perform a song of his or her choice in the first round, then the audience votes by text message to select their top choices, which are then combined with the picks of the celebrity judges, this year K-LITE DJ Catherine Remak, Nederlander Concerts VP Moss Jacobs (who books the Santa Barbara Bowl) and Paramount Pictures Music president Randy Spendlove. The audience gets to vote again after a second round of songs before the winner is announced from the stage.

The new 2013 Teen Star Santa Barbara receives a boatload of prizes including a $1,000 cash award, studio time in a local recording studio, and the chance to serve as opening act at several local events – not to mention a fine head start on a career in the arts.

Tickets cost $14-$19 general admission, with premium reserved seats going for $30. Proceeds are donated to performing arts programs in local schools.

Shark AttackJust a few minutes after the new 2013

Teen Star Santa Barbara receives his or her crown, you can stroll across State Street to SOhO to see a long-established star take a crack at another performance style as movie actor Dennis Quaid fronts rock and roll band The Sharks at the upstairs nightclub. But music isn’t just a passing fancy for the veteran film idol, who turns 59 next month and has more than 75 movie and TV credits on his resumé, including his latest stint as Sheriff Ralph Lamb (and the co-executive producer) in Vegas, which moves to Friday nights on

with Mark LeisureMark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

teen Star Santa Barbara

Jeff Bridges plays a benefit concert on Thursday for ENCORE:LOBERO.

CBS starting next week. Quaid first sang on film way back in

1987 in the New Orleans crime-romance The Big Easy, when he performed his own seductive song “Closer To You.” There are several other originals in a set that also features classic rock ‘n’ roll hits like “Not Fade Away,” “Gloria,” “Wild Thing” and more. Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 at the door. But maybe the new Santa Barbara Teen Idol can sneak in for a cameo?

Bridges is BackThen on Thursday, another actor-turned-

singer heads our way, or rather, hits one of his fave local venues, since Jeff Bridges has called Montecito home since shortly after the 1994 Northridge earthquake. Bridges, who won his first Oscar for playing a broken-down country singer in the 2009

movie Crazy Heart, has capitalized on that role to re-kindle a singing career that he’s pursued on and off during breaks from filming. He put out a self-titled solo CD in 2011, produced by T. Bone Burnett, who also helmed the Crazy Heart soundtrack, and formed a touring band featuring local stalwarts Chris Pelonis on guitar, Tom Lackner on drums, Randy Tico on bass and Bill Flores on keyboards. The concert – which serves as a benefit for ENCORE: LOBERO, the new campaign to raise funds to preserve and enhance the historic Lobero – also features Santa Ynez-based rock star David Crosby (of Crosby, Stills & Nash fame), who also appeared on Bridges’ previous album, 2000’s Be Here Soon.

We’re told tickets are sold out, but that didn’t keep you from finding your way into events during SBIFF, so why stop now?


seasons (and why you probably shouldn’t play with matches in the summer). However, this “dry down” of plants has some variation from year to year and even from month to month. Careful and somewhat complex statistics revealed that a primary reason for the fluctuation is in fact fog. More fog means a lower likelihood of fire and less fog means the threat of fire increases.

So all that June Gloom is actually helping us avoid a (fiery) June Kaboom.

Mr. Emery’s data primarily comes from 2011, a typical year for fog. He determined that before the summer fog, plants were using rainwater almost exclusively. After the fog that blankets the region arrived, however, the plants

Simple. Rustic. California.

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A self-professed science nerd, Rach-elle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working to-wards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synap-ticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she

had to choose just one area of science; they are all fasci-nating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

Last week gave the UCSB campus a little preview of what we can expect come June: thick, lasting fog that

has given the summer month its dreary nickname, June Gloom. Most of campus was visibly subdued, succumbing to the sunless depression that only a Central Coast native understands. Even the perpetual parties of Isla Vista seemed to be on pause. Meanwhile, Nate Emery – a graduate student in his fourth year in the Ecology, Evolution, and Marine Biology Department – was ecstatic.

Mr. Emery studies fog. More specifically, Mr. Emery studies

the effect fog has on fire in the Santa Barbara region.

He originally came to UCSB shortly after the Jesusita Fire in 2009 to study invasive plant species. One day in June, he was collecting samples of dead grasses and weeds to measure water content when he noticed that the time of day he collected the sample affected how much water was in it. The morning samples contained more water than the samples he collected in the late afternoon.

That simple observation sparked a shift in his research. Why was there a difference? The common understanding of plant hydration is that they only obtain water from the rainfall that seeps into the ground. Other precipitation should not

add to the water content inside a plant. Yet, Mr. Emery’s samples indicated that something else indeed was contributing to the plants water contents.

Fog Fest Fuels Fire Defense

As a newcomer to Santa Barbara, it took Mr. Emery a while to hit on the idea that the plants could be using the water found in fog. When he did, he excitedly began investigating the possibility. Together with the geography department, Mr. Emery built a device to measure cult precipitation (precipitation not recorded by a rain meter, specifically precipitation due to fog). Mr. Emery placed these devices in two plots of land held by the UC Natural Reserve System: Coal Oil Point in Goleta and the Sedgwick Reserve in Los Olivos. He then chose two indigenous shrubs and collected regular samples to test for water content.

It turns out that plants in this region have evolved and adapted to the regular, and necessary, wildfires.

Mr. Emery has found that there is a predictable “dry down” of plant life throughout the year. As plants become drier, the risk of a fire catching increases. This is why we usually see fires in the drier

June Gloom Is Good (Sort Of)by Rachelle Oldmixon

UCSB graduate student Nate Emery likes fog. A lot.

Thought it was East Beach for a moment but then realized we are looking at Goleta Beach from the UCSB dorms. (Grad students shouldn’t be hanging around the dorms, Nate, even to “measure fog.”)

This gizmo – built by Mr. Emery himself (with some help from the geography folks) – measures precipita-tion due to fog. Any chance you can build something to measure the effect of fog on March Madness pool selections?

were obtaining more than half of their water from it.

Mr. Emery finds all this very comforting. This is a region that needs fire to preserve the natural balance in the environment. And unless lightening ceases and humans disappear, fires will continue to burn from here to Monterey. But, if fog, our mood’s worst enemy, can help to hydrate the plants, then maybe fire does not have to occur as often as it might.

Fire, Mr. Emery explained to me, brings its own weather. It pushes out hot, dry air in front of the flames, drying out the plants around it. Once those plants are dry, fire spreads more easily. But if, during our driest months, fog can add a little bit of moisture back into the plants then those plants can stay hydrated a little longer in the face of a fire. That extra time can be vital to stopping a fire’s advance on our homes and businesses.

Or worse yet, our vineyards.


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places for a quick bite with friends too. We finished up, and then I coasted back

down to the Airstream, packed my stuff, and headed home.

It was St. Patrick’s Day, after all, and I had to start my special corned beef and cabbage.

Something, I hear, they eat a lot of in

trailer parks. At least the ones I’ve been to.

Stuff I LikeI like Santa Barbara Auto Camp

and truly had a blast at the Airstream and checking out the neighborhood

(all of which I liked as well). Frankly, I’d recommend it as a perfect place for a slightly more adventurous couple or even just some friends or other out-of-towners for the weekend. It would be fun to barbecue in the park one night and then hop on the cruisers and see

where they take you. There is good food and drink all within striking distance, and State Street and downtown are just a short ride away. (Be careful at Jimboz, though, the place can sneak up on you.) Check out www.sbautocamp.com for information and (reasonable) rates, call (888) 405-7553 or just drive by 2717 De La Vina Street. Have fun!

I also like All Saints-by-the-Sea Parish School – both Lily and Kate are graduates and Wendi and I remain strong supporters of the program, approach and terrific staff. Unfortunately, we were unable to attend the annual fundraising gala a week or so ago – this year themed Mad Fun by the Sea (a nod to Mad Men) at the Coral Casino Beach and Cabana Club – but have been to a few of them in the past and know them to be quite a good time. In fact, I’ve heard that a number of people had a lot of fun this year – really a lot, and there are pictures to prove it – and wish we could have been there. Maybe, if we’re lucky, we can buy our way into the Cocktails & Crooners soirée despite not being able to bid on it this time around. Come on Levinsons, what do you say?

I like the great outdoors. Go for a hike up in Mission Canyon or Rattlesnake Canyon (or take a drive down to Romero Canyon). It’s time to start working off the winter coat. For me, anyway.

Peace.


Wendi and Kim, my (pregnant!) sister, enjoy some sun in the yard.

Downright dazzling (delicious?) dames Lizzie Peus (co-chair), Jen Rameson and Nakisa Herrick (Parent Council Co-Presidents) and Jill Levinson (co-chair).

Airstreams make children happy. (From right to left, that’s Lily and Kate with their cousin Presley.)

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe

Contributing PartnersOpinion • sbview.com

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Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy JensonJournal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno

Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff HardingMan About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz

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Dead All AroundDead Man Down, as if taking a cue from its

pathetic and redundant name, comes off as a rat’s nest of gloom and doom. No matter how hard it strains, there’s no distinctive style and even less humor; the dialogue needs an overhaul from David Mamet. Three undervalued actors – Colin Farrell, Terrence Howard and Dominic Cooper (a revelation in The Devil’s Double) – could’ve used material more worthy than this contrived cocktail of murder and revenge. No wonder it sank like a sandbagged corpse at the box office.

W ith the intoxicating Side Effects and wonder of Oz becoming distant memories, typical March mediocrity has arrived. Here we have no shortage

of fine actors in search of better movies:The Call isn’t a rockumentary about the Santa Cruz band,

but a crime thriller involving 911 phone calls and their ensuing ordeals; perhaps its title should’ve been pluralized. Halle Berry stars as the operator on the horn when two teen blondes get kidnapped, separately, by the same man. (The deviant’s motivation and excuse for his crimes will be hashed out – in needless excess – late in the day.)

Director Brad Anderson pays sufficient mind to the nuts and bolts of the “Hive,” where the busybody operators lend a voice amid buzzing phones and computers. It’s the type of static environment where riveting camerawork ought to be mandatory; too bad Anderson opts for endless close-ups of faces. Normally, I wouldn’t complain about Berry’s cover-girl visage gracing the entire screen – but here she’s sporting a frizzy mop of hair that appears to be its own distress signal. Another mystery on the casting side: Why did the most intriguing cast member – Michael Imperioli of Sopranos lore – accept such a futile role that calls for him to appear for only a few minutes before checking out?

Action picks up when rubber meets the road; our psychopath’s fleeting moments of car-hopping are skillfully shot. But any tension soon loses its footing with far-fetched conclusions (the clanking of a wind-blown flag on a pole?) and comes to a halt with a vengeful, shameless finale. If only the narrative had as much sense as it does cellphones.

Dark and Disturbing Dark Skies is dark, indeed, but also bizarre and

maddening. That’s the catch when it comes to sci-fi thrillers; you might say the sky’s the limit. In this case, “geomagnetic” disturbances haunt a suburban family in Paranormal Activity ways, only two of which provide authentic scares. As the parents, Josh Hamilton and Keri Russell dutifully serve as sacrificial lambs for the type of script that trots out head-scratching discourse: “Just because I can’t explain something doesn’t mean aliens did it!”

You know a movie is really out there when normalcy comes from the character who’s purportedly the weirdest: a cat-loving conspiracist played by J.K. Simmons, who smoothly knocks back his pivotal scene like a shot of bourbon.

The Not-So-Incredible Burt Wonderstone

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone includes so many instances when Steve Carell’s magician acts juvenile and self-conscious that I thought: Is he doing so purposely – and if so, why doesn’t anybody stop him? The spotlighted Vegas show feels so outdated, the only “incredible” part is that folks paid to watch the nightly rehashing for a decade. Our bored illusionist’s wake-up call comes in the form of a popular and masochistic street performer (Jim Carrey), a shirtless new-age hippie who appears to be practicing for MTV’s Jackass.

The lust interest and put-upon assistant is Olivia Wilde, a gifted actress who appears to be dying a painful death as a result of the hero’s arrogant advances and drivel. James Gandolfini does his best to convince as a wealthy entertainment mogul; the actor continues to rack up pin-sharp cameos (Zero Dark Thirty and Killing Them Softly) in the direst of circumstances.

A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News,

Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

by Jim Luksic

Four Up, Four Down

FAIRVIEW225 N. Fairview - Goleta

PLAZA DE ORO371 Hitchcock Way - S.B.

PASEO NUEVO8 W. De La Guerra Pl. - S.B.

RIVIERA2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B.

Information Listed for Friday thru Wednesday - March 22 - 27

FIESTA 5Features Stadium Seating

916 State Street - S.B.

CAMINO REALFeatures Stadium SeatingCAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE

Hollister & Storke - GOLETA

METRO 4Features Stadium Seating

618 State Street - S.B.THE GATEKEEPERS (PG-13)Fri & Mon-Wed - 5:00 7:30Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00 7:30

DreamWorks Animation THE CROODS (PG)

3D: 3:30 5:502D on 2 Screens:

11:45 1:00 2:10 4:40 7:10 8:10 9:30

Halle Berry....Abigail Breslin THE CALL (R)

12:15 2:30 4:50 7:20 9:40

Jim Carrey....Steve CarellTHE INCREDIBLEBURT WONDERSTONE (PG-13)12:00 2:40 5:05 7:30 9:55

Nicole KidmanSTOKER (R) 2:50 7:40

The Makers of THE HANGOVER21 AND OVER (R) 12:30 5:15 10:05

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN 1:30 4:20 7:10 9:55 (R)

ADMISSION (PG-13) 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:40

THE CALL (R) Fri-Tue - 1:40 4:00 6:40 9:00Wed - 1:40 4:00 6:40

OZ (PG) THE GREAT AND POWERFUL

3D:Fri-Tue - 3:30 6:30Wed - 3:30

2D on 2 Screens:Fri-Tue -

12:30 1:50 5:00 8:00 9:25Wed - 12:30 1:50 5:00 8:00

THE INCREDIBLEBURT WONDERSTONE (PG-13)Fri-Tue - 1:15 4:10 6:50 9:15Wed - 1:15 4:10 9:15

Wednesday at 7:00 & 9:30 G. I. JOE: RETALIATION

2D & 3D (PG-13)

LIFE OF PI (PG) 3DFri-Tue - 1:30 4:30 7:30Wed - 1:30 4:30

Wednesday at 7:00 - 2D G. I. JOE:

RETALIATION (PG-13)

A Dustin Hoffman Film QUARTET (PG-13)

Fri & Mon-Wed - 7:00Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:30 7:00

LORE (Not Rated)Fri & Mon-Wed - 7:15Sat/Sun - 2:15 4:45 7:15

THE CROODS (PG) 3D: 1:45 4:152D: 12:30 3:00 5:30

6:45 8:00

SNITCH (PG-13) 3:10 8:15

JACK THE GIANT SLAYERin 2D: 12:40 5:45 (PG-13)

Paul Rudd......Tina Fey ADMISSION (PG-13)

1:15 4:00 6:40 9:15

SPRING BREAKERS (R) 1:45 4:20 7:00 9:30

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK1:30 4:50 7:45 (R)

EMPEROR (PG-13)2:00 4:35 7:30

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN Playing on 2 Screens (R)1:00 2:15 3:45 5:00

6:30 7:45 9:15


3D: 2:30 5:302D:

Fri-Tue - 1:15 4:15 7:15 8:30Wed - 1:15 4:15 7:15


RETALIATION (PG-13)

Features Stadium SeatingARLINGTON

1317 State Street - 963-4408

Courtyard Bar OpenFri & Sat - 4:00 - 8:00

Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

877-789-MOVIE www.metrotheatres.com

THE FINAL MET Opera 2013

Saturday - April 27 - 9:00 amArlington Theatre Presents

Handel’s GIULIO CESARE

Thursday - March 28 - 7:30 pm A DEEPER SHADE

OF BLUEArlington Theatre

STARTS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 27 G. I. JOE:

RETALIATION (PG-13)

ARLINGTON: 2D - 7:00METRO 4: 3D - 8:30

CAMINO REAL: 2D & 3D at both 7:00 & 9:30

FAIRVIEW225 N. Fairview - Goleta

PLAZA DE ORO371 Hitchcock Way - S.B.

PASEO NUEVO8 W. De La Guerra Pl. - S.B.

RIVIERA2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B.

Information Listed for Friday thru Wednesday - March 22 - 27

FIESTA 5Features Stadium Seating

916 State Street - S.B.

CAMINO REALFeatures Stadium SeatingCAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE

Hollister & Storke - GOLETA

METRO 4Features Stadium Seating

618 State Street - S.B.THE GATEKEEPERS (PG-13)Fri & Mon-Wed - 5:00 7:30Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00 7:30

DreamWorks Animation THE CROODS (PG)

3D: 3:30 5:502D on 2 Screens:

11:45 1:00 2:10 4:40 7:10 8:10 9:30

Halle Berry....Abigail Breslin THE CALL (R)

12:15 2:30 4:50 7:20 9:40

Jim Carrey....Steve CarellTHE INCREDIBLEBURT WONDERSTONE (PG-13)12:00 2:40 5:05 7:30 9:55

Nicole KidmanSTOKER (R) 2:50 7:40

The Makers of THE HANGOVER21 AND OVER (R) 12:30 5:15 10:05

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN 1:30 4:20 7:10 9:55 (R)

ADMISSION (PG-13) 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:40

THE CALL (R) Fri-Tue - 1:40 4:00 6:40 9:00Wed - 1:40 4:00 6:40


3D:Fri-Tue - 3:30 6:30Wed - 3:30

2D on 2 Screens:Fri-Tue -

12:30 1:50 5:00 8:00 9:25Wed - 12:30 1:50 5:00 8:00

THE INCREDIBLEBURT WONDERSTONE (PG-13)Fri-Tue - 1:15 4:10 6:50 9:15Wed - 1:15 4:10 9:15

Wednesday at 7:00 & 9:30 G. I. JOE: RETALIATION

2D & 3D (PG-13)

LIFE OF PI (PG) 3DFri-Tue - 1:30 4:30 7:30Wed - 1:30 4:30


RETALIATION (PG-13)

A Dustin Hoffman Film QUARTET (PG-13)

Fri & Mon-Wed - 7:00Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:30 7:00

LORE (Not Rated)Fri & Mon-Wed - 7:15Sat/Sun - 2:15 4:45 7:15

THE CROODS (PG) 3D: 1:45 4:152D: 12:30 3:00 5:30

6:45 8:00

SNITCH (PG-13) 3:10 8:15

JACK THE GIANT SLAYERin 2D: 12:40 5:45 (PG-13)

Paul Rudd......Tina Fey ADMISSION (PG-13)

1:15 4:00 6:40 9:15

SPRING BREAKERS (R) 1:45 4:20 7:00 9:30

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK1:30 4:50 7:45 (R)

EMPEROR (PG-13)2:00 4:35 7:30

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN Playing on 2 Screens (R)1:00 2:15 3:45 5:00

6:30 7:45 9:15


3D: 2:30 5:302D:

Fri-Tue - 1:15 4:15 7:15 8:30Wed - 1:15 4:15 7:15


RETALIATION (PG-13)

Features Stadium SeatingARLINGTON

1317 State Street - 963-4408

Courtyard Bar OpenFri & Sat - 4:00 - 8:00

Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

877-789-MOVIE www.metrotheatres.com

THE FINAL MET Opera 2013

Saturday - April 27 - 9:00 amArlington Theatre Presents

Handel’s GIULIO CESARE

Thursday - March 28 - 7:30 pm A DEEPER SHADE

OF BLUEArlington Theatre

STARTS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 27 G. I. JOE:

RETALIATION (PG-13)

ARLINGTON: 2D - 7:00METRO 4: 3D - 8:30

CAMINO REAL: 2D & 3D at both 7:00 & 9:30

•MOVIE GUIDE•


Horse PowerLooking back on what shaped my

worldview, I can identify three major influences in my life: my Mom, my Dad and my coach, Michael Plumb. Plumb taught me discipline, dedication and mastery. He demanded my best, asked the world of me, and I learned to deliver. Although I never made it to my ultimate goal, the Olympics, I won in life. The work ethic he taught me transferred over to all aspects of my life – achievement at school, performance on every job I ever took, running my home. The importance of striving to be excellent helped me to stand out. My confidence was re-enforced by success; it was nurtured and grew enabling me to believe in myself and my ability to achieve whatever I set my mind to.

For me, that is the essence of athletics.But I wonder as I watch my kids play

competitive sports at such an early age whether that message can be heard over the din on the sidelines.

Look, I totally get it. Alpha and I are sometimes part of that crowd too. We assumed that when our kids were kindergarteners they would have the same intensity and competitive drive that we learned as teenagers. (At their age, I was goofing off on my pony, with no competitions on my horizon.) Still, it was a major shock to see them picking flowers and asking about play dates during games.

I asked Alpha once about Olivia’s soccer game and he answered he was very proud.

Proud? Really? I prodded. Liv wasn’t remotely killing it on the field but maybe, in the moments I missed, something clicked and she turned into a star.

“Proud of myself, that I could be okay with her not moving from her spot for ten minutes,” he finished.

We appear so consumed by the win rather than the process, so focused on the advancement, that we aren’t noticing the opportunity to build character, confidence and lifelong skills. As a result, coaches are pressured by parents and thereby hindered in their ability to teach and mentor.

Come All Ye FaithfulWhich brings me back to my church.

Spring comes along and the fields fill up with kids decked in shoulder pads carrying lacrosse sticks. I go to pick up my seven year old and he runs over to thank me for bringing him to practice. No doubt his coach has told him to appreciate what is given to him – and to say thank you. (This is just one of many character-building messages he gets.)

Standing on the sidelines, I watch my oldest throw with one of his UCSB lacrosse coaches and see him stand a little taller. He worships the ground his coaches walk on; and they, in return, ask him to perform at a level way beyond his capabilities. Right before my eyes, I witness the healthy relationship between a mentor and an apprentice. Rick. Tom. Max. Jeff. Kevin. Travis. They are all the coaches that have become part of our sons’ lives, and, as a result, household names. I see my boys grow in ways that Alpha and I can’t teach them, nor would we want to.

This gem of a program has brought back the meaning of sport; it is something I am so grateful for. I no longer go to games with dread, only excited anticipation. Because each time one of my kids steps onto the grass at Elings they are not consumed with winning or losing. They are focused on working the hardest and doing their best.

Halleluiah, lacrosse season has begun.

CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT

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Peters’ Pick

It’s on the black market. She slipped it to me while picking Olivia up to go abalone shell hunting with her son Collin. It was in a jam jar, with the cool

labeling she used for her Santa Barbara Soaps Company; but this was different. It was body cream. I looked down at my dry and scaly legs and immediately cracked it open, smeared it all over. Milk and Honey. That’s what the label said. My skin never looked so good. The rich shea butter and babussu oil was all they needed. “I whip it up in my industrial blender, people are asking me for it all the time!” she told me. Makes some sense, she makes her soaps (found at Plum Goods) out of her garage. Non-FDA approved, but definitely approved by me. Email her at santabarbarasoaps.com for your jar.

Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

by Mara Peters

You have Your hands full

I go to worship every Saturday at Elings Park. On a bright sunny day, I find my soul filled, my mind cleared, my kids

centered and everything complete. It’s the Church of Lacrosse. And I’m

a believer.Now, I have to say, sports have never

really been a spiritual experience for us. We’ve spent countless hours on sidelines listening to parents yell, watching coaches fight and witnessing kids meltdown. But sitting on the bench last Saturday, it occurred to me that things were radically different; a calm came over the fields as four scrimmages were played. Parents were delicately placed on a distant sideline

removed from their kids and the coaches. Games were stopped, making time for a teaching opportunity.

I watched with fascination. Back in the day both Alpha and I were

very competitive sport players; he excelled in football and lacrosse, my forte was horseback riding. When I was young, I rode my pony every day after school until Mom came home from work. When I turned 12, Mom took me to a clinic with an Olympic coach for 3-Day Eventing (dressage, cross-country and stadium jumping). Within three days, he had decided he liked my character and took me under his wing.

The seven apostles, Travis, Max, Tom, Jackson, Clinton, Nick and Scott (left to right).

The Gospel According to Plumb


Fried chicken and waffles AND local wine? Normally you’d get us at “wine” but this time, believe it or

not, you had us at waffles (and we were teetering at fried chicken).

Head on over to Drake Wines in the Funk Zone to partake in such fine feathered festivities. Each first and third Friday, join fellow food and wine lovers around the table from 5–8pm for artisan fried chicken and waffle creations – like Buttermilk fried chicken, chive waffle, grilled nectarine, black pepper mascarpone and balsamic glaze. Or how about fried chicken atop a bacon waffle with tomato jam and avocado mayo? You’re kidding, right?!

If you’re not familiar with Drake, it is a family-run operation that sources grapes from local vineyards to create Pinot Noirs, Chardonnays, and Viogniers. Turns out these wines pair perfectly with mini fried chicken and golden brown waffles ($15 gets you the grub and a glass of wine). So avoid fowling up your Friday and find fantastic food and vino at Drake Wines. What are ya, chicken?

Be GreenSuper Youby Courtney Dietz

Super foods really are that super. And Lotus Super

Foods has recently shared its Hydrilla Verticillata, which sounds like a mouthful but is really just a bag full of organic, wild-crafted powdered greens. One serving is the nutritional equivalent of 2 pounds of vegetables but goes down so easily in a smoothie. We’re not saying it’s a cure-all but it sure does feel like an over-all power boost with just a small teaspoon per day.

So if you’re looking to kick a cold, put some pep in your step or boost your brain power, give it a try and see if you can help uncover the super you.

Hydrilla Verticillata is packaged in Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone and available at Raw Food World in Ojai or online at www.lotussuperfoods.com/hydrilla-verticillata-green-superfood-powder. Get some.

• LOVE IS FREE

What: Update your Workout Playlist Where: www.lovemikana.comWhen: Tune in now.Why: Every season we like to switch up

our jams. See what we’re listening to this Spring.

How: Get on the right track.

What’ll It Cost Me: Free!

• LOOSE CHANGE

What: Shop A Spring Antique SaleWhere: Downtown Santa Barbara. Email kelly@

sbchic.com for directions.When: Sunday, March 24, 10am – 4pmWhy: Santa Barbara event designers and

stylists, SB Chic and Joy de Vivre, are hosting a spring antique sale chock full of fun vintage containers, candles, fabric and miscellaneous decor.

How: Shop a Spring antique sale and find what’s old is new again.

What’ll It Cost Me: These one-of-a-kind finds are anywhere from $5 and up.

• HEY BIG SPENDER

What: Home Brew & Morning YogurtWhere: The Center for Urban Agriculture at

Fairview Gardens, 598 North Fairview Avenue, Goleta

When: Saturday, March 23, 9am – 1pmWhy: Learn how to make homemade yogurt

year-round and experience what it takes to make a delicious home brew.

How: It’s all in the fermentation, friends.

What’ll It Cost Me: Prices range from $40 – $60 per person

weekend Guide by

fried Chicken fridays

.com

by Eve Sommer-Belin

WINE & DINE

Buttermilk fried chicken, chive waffle, grilled nectarine, black pepper mascarpone and balsamic glaze.

Sesame and scallion waffle, panko and five spice chick-en with citrus and ginger marmalade.

ADVERTISE 8 05.845.1673


reaL eStateMichael has consistently been ranked in the

top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at [email protected]

by Michael Calcagno

2108 Chapala Street

1321 Crestline Drive

1740 Grand Avenue

Purchase price: $849,000 Down payment (20%): $169,800Loan amount: $679,200Payment: $3,097(30 yr fixed at 3.625% (3.687 APR))Property taxes: $778Home insurance: $80

Total Monthly Payment:$3,955

Purchase price: $1,139,000 Down payment (20%): $227,800Loan amount: $911,200Payment: $4,155(30 yr fixed at 3.625% (3.687 APR))Property taxes: $1,044Home insurance: $100


Purchase price: $795,000 Down payment (20%): $159,000Loan amount: $636,000Payment: $2,900(30 yr fixed at 3.625% (3.687 APR))Property taxes: $728Home insurance: $80


Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at [email protected].

Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

A Broken RecordIs anyone else getting bored of hearing me say the same thing over and over and over

again? I’d never admit that I’m bored of my own rambling (I am though), but it’s not my fault that once again the statistics for the past week reflect the same positive

outlook for the market. In the areas East and West of State Street and Hope Ranch and in the price range from $400,000 – $1,700,000, there were 23 new properties that came on the market, 22 properties that went pending, and 18 properties that closed. So if the same numbers pop up next week, then 96% of the new listings will have gone pending.

That’s a big deal, and a far cry from where we’ve been for the past, oh…four or five years.Last week I did a year-over-year comparison and didn’t give numbers for that week

in the market. So let’s take a look and see what the two weeks’ numbers combined look like. In the same sectors – East and West of State Street and Hope Ranch in the price range of $400,000 – $1,700,000 – there were 50 new listings. Out of those 50 listings, 48 went pending and 28 properties closed.

Hmmmm… I’m no economist but there seems to be a trend of some sort happening.The local housing market may just be on the mend. There, I said it. So do yourself a favor. If you are thinking of getting into the market or are currently

looking, then get out there this weekend and check out a few of these great deals. If the past few weeks are any indication, they will not be around for long.

Happy house hunting!

Neither Mr. Calcagno nor Sotheby’s International Realty is necessarily the listing broker or agent for any of the foregoing properties.


OPEN HOUSE GUIDESUNDAY, MARCH 24Downtown 18 West Victoria Street #308 12-5pm $2,600,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #212 12-5pm $2,500,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #307 12-5pm $1,250,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #108 12-5pm $1,100,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #111 12-5pm $875,000 1bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #109 12-5pm $855,000 0bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 121 West De La Guerra #4 1-3pm $825,000 1bd/1ba Wolfe/Lomas 722-0322 Coldwell Banker 306 East Anapamu Street 1-4pm $625,000 2bd/1ba Joan Katz 895-6695 Prudential California Realty 527 West Pueblo Street # 2 1-3pm $620,000 3bd/3ba Kevin Schmidtchen 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty La Cumbre 550 Via Sinuosa 1-4pm $1,490,000 4bd/2ba Andy Madrid 452-1456 Coldwell Banker 4400 Shadow Hills Boulevard Unit B 2-4pm $895,000 2bd/2ba Pamela Taylor 969-5005 Sotheby’s International Realty 560 Vista Vallejo 2-4pm $749,000 3bd/2ba Louise McKaig 637-4774 Village Properties Mesa 860 Miramonte Drive 2-4pm $1,895,000 3bd/3.5ba Kelly Knight 895-4406 Village Properties 316 Lighthouse Road 1-4pm $1,520,000 4bd Scott Westlotorn 403-4313 Coldwell Banker 945 Vista de Lejos 1-3pm $1,100,000 3bd/2.5ba Carla Reeves 689-7343 Village Properties Riviera 1734 Franceschi Road 1-4pm $2,499,000 4bd/4ba Jake Ralston 455-9600 Prudential California Realty 1300 Las Alturas Road 1-4pm $1,895,000 3bd/2.5ba Pascale Bassan 689-5528 Prudential California Realty 237 Las Alturas Road 1-4pm $1,595,000 3bd/2ba Brooke Ebner 453-7071 Prudential California Realty 638 Colina Lane By Appt. $1,095,000 4bd/4ba Carol Mineau 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty 1209 East Haley Street 1-3pm $842,000 2bd/1ba Daniela Johnson 969-5005 Sotheby’s International Realty San Roque Area 606 Calle Granada 2-4pm $1,995,000 5bd/4.5ba Marilyn Rickard 969-9993 Sotheby’s International Realty 2905 Calle Noguera 2-4pm $925,000 4bd/2ba Thomas Johansen 886-1857 Village Properties 3699 Rockcreek 2-4pm $869,000 3bd/2ba Marta Weeks 689-0410 Village Properties 2733 Miradero Drive 1-3pm $815,000 3bd/2ba Lynn Golden 570-5888 Village Properties 3069 Calle Fresno 1-4pm $785,000 4bd/2ba Alyson Spann 637-2884 Village Properties 3639 San Remo Drive 36 2-4pm $525,000 2bd/2ba Rose Van Schaik 452-2051 Prudential California Realty 2506 Las Positas 2-4pm $519,000 2bd/1ba Joan Roberts 705-4040 Village Properties Sycamore Canyon 219 Conejo Road 1-4pm $2,100,000 4bd/4ba Frank Abatemarco 969-5005 Sotheby’s International Realty 305 Sherman Road 1-3pm $1,295,000 5bd/3ba Aaron Gilles 895-1877 Village Properties Westside 1723 Hillside Road 1-5pm $829,000 3bd/2.5ba Mary Layman 448-3890 Prudential California Realty 610 Del Monte Avenue 2-4pm $710,000 4bd/3ba Debra Stowers 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty 1306 Chino Street 1-4pm $699,000 3bd/2ba Michelle Baney 907-9297 Prudential California Realty Goleta 12 Touran Lane By Appt. $969,000 4bd/3ba Julie Angelos 403-5566 Prudential California Realty 5971 Scott Court 2-4pm $795,000 3bd/2ba Gloria Vaughn 689-3408 Village Properties 7769 Bradford Drive 2-4pm $775,000 4bd/2ba Evelyn Cavins 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty 5083 San Rodrigo Avenue 1-4pm $699,000 4bd/2ba John Bahura 680-5175 Village Properties 5186 San Lorenzo Drive 1-4pm $549,000 3bd/2ba The Easter Team 455-6294 Prudential California Realty 313 Moreton Bay Lane #5 By Appt $264,000 1bd/1ba Michael Pearl 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty 31 Dearborn Place #28 1-4pm $249,900 1bd/1ba John Gaffney 448-4663 Village Properties 30 Winchester Canyon Road, #23 1-4pm $189,000 3bd/2ba Cindy Campbell 570-4959 Village Properties 333 Old Mill Road #312 1-4pm $175,000 2bd/2ba Jeff Oien & Julie Barnes 895-2944 Village Properties 7465 Hollister Avenue #110 2-4pm $129,000 1bd/1ba J. Sumika Sim 886-0490 Prudential California Realty

Adam Black | VP, Senior Loan Officer 805.452.8393 | [email protected]

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OnE Of a kind | WEb: 0113622 | $15,500,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

nOTabLE OcEanfrOnT ESTaTE | WEb: 0592359 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

bUTTErfLy bEacH HOmE | WEb: 0113607 | $8,750,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138, Ron Brand 805.455.5045

SpaniSH cOLOniaL-STyLE | WEb: 0113657 | $4,850,000 Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545

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STyLiSH crafTSman | WEb: 0113660 | $3,595,000 Lisa Loiacono 805.452.2799

OPe

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DAy

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606 caLLE granada | WEb: 0113665 | $1,995,000 Marilyn Rickard 805.452.8284

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1928 TUdOr bUngaLOW | WEb: 0592550 | $849,000 Darcie McKnight 805.637.7772, Jay Krautmann 805.451.4527

TaSTEfULLy UpdaTEd | WEb: 0592556 | $980,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

crafTSman-STyLE cHarmEr | WEb: 0592477 | $710,000 Debra Stowers 805.570.8332