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Harrison BergeronKURT VONNEGUT, JR.

he year was 2081, and everybodywas finally equal. They weren't onlyequal before God and the law.They were equal every which way.Nobody was smarter than anybodyelse. Nobody was better looking

than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or~: quicker than anybody else. All this equality•.:. was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213thLAmendments to the Constitution and to the

unceasing vigilance of agents of the UnitedStates Handicapper General.

.' . Some things about living still weren't quite\ right, though. April, for instance, still drove

0-', people crazy by not being springtime. And it'•.was in that clammy month that H-G men took,: George and Hazel Bergeron's fourteen-year-; old son, Harrison, aw~y.o;'~tIt was tragic, all right, but George and-.~Hazel couldn't think about it very hare\. Hazel

had a perfectly average intelligence, whichmeant she couldn't think about anything ex-

:cept in short bursts. And George, while hisoio~telligencewas way above normal, had a little'Pental handicap radio in his ear. He was re-q~ired by law to wear it at all times. It wast~ned to a government transmitter. Every

otwenty seconds or so, the transmitter wouldseondout some sharp noise to keep people likeq.~orge from taking unfair advantage of theirbr~ins.~George and Hazel were watching television.~~herewere tears on Hazel's cheeks, but she'd~orgotten for the moment what they wereabout.

On the television screen were ballerinas.

A buzzer sounded in George's head. Histhoughts fled in panic, like bandits from aburglar alarm.

"That was a real pretty dance, that dancethey just did," said Hazel. \.

"Huh?" said George."That dance-it was nice," said Hazel."Yup,' said George. He tried LO think a little

about the ballerinas. They weren't really verygood-no better than anybody else wouldhave been, anyway. They were burdened withsash weights and bags of birdshot, and theirfaces were masked, so that no one, seeing afree and graceful gesture or a pretty face,would feci like something the cat drug in.George was toying with the vague notion thatmaybe dancers shouldn't be handicapped.But he didn't get very far with it before an-other noise in his ear radio scattered histhoughts.

George winced. So did two out of the eightballerinas.

Hazel saw him wince. Having no mentalhandicap herself, she had to ask George whatthe latest sound had been.

"Sounded like somebody hitting a milk bot-tle with a ball peen hammer," said George.

"I'd think it would be real interesting, hear-ing all the different sounds," said Hazel, alittle envious. "All the things they think up."

"Urn," said George."Only, if I was Handicapper General, you

know what I would do?" said Hazel. Hazel, asa matter of fact, bore a strong resemblance tothe Handicapper General, a woman namedDiana Moon Glampers. "If I was Diana Moon

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HARRISON BERGERON 71 1

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Glampers," said Hazel, "I'd have chimes onSunday-just chimes. Kind of in honor ofreligion."

"I could think, if it was just chimes," saidGeorge.

"Well-maybe make 'em real loud," saidHaze!. "I think I'd make a good HandicapperGenera!."

"Good as anybody else," said George."Who knows better'n I do what normal is?"

said Haze!."Right," said George. He began to think

glimmeringly about his abnormal son whowas now in jail, about Harrison, but a twenty-one gun salute in his head stopped that.

"Boy!" said Hazel, "that was a doozy, wasn't. ';)"It.

It was such a doozy that George was whiteand trembling, and tears stood on the rims ofhis red eyes. Two of the eight ballerinas hadcollapsed to the studio floor, were holdingtheir temples.

"All of a sudden you look so tired," saidHaze!. "Why don't you stretch out on the sofa,so's you can rest your handicap bag on thepillows, honeybunch." She was referring tothe forty-seven pounds of birds hot in a canvasbag, which was padlocked around George'sneck. "Go on and rest the bag for a littlewhile," she said. "I don't care if you're notequal to me for a while."

George weighed the bag with his hands. "Idon't mind it," he said. "I don't notice it any-more. It's just a part of me."

"You been so tired lately-kind of woreout," said Haze!. "If there was just some waywe could make a little hole in the bottom ofthe bag, and just take out a few of them leadballs. Just a few."

"Two years in prison and two thousand dol-lars fine for every ball I took out," saidGeorge. "I don't call that a bargain."

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Wordsto Knowand Use

impediment (im ped' amant) n. something that interferes with one's ability toperform a task well; a burden or interference

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"If you could just take a few out whe-n.ycame home from work," said Hazel. ,"Imean-you don't compete with anybodyaround here. You just set around." '::,_

"If I tried to get away with it," said George,"then other people'd get away with it-andpretty soon we'd be right back to the da~~ages again, with everybody competing again~leverybody else. You wouldn't like that, wouldyou?" i-

"I'd hate it," said Hazel."There you are," said George. "The minute

people start cheating on laws, what do yo~think happens to society?"

If Hazel hadn't been able to come up withan answer to this question, George couldn'thave supplied one. A siren was going off-inhis head.

"Reckon it'd fall all apart," said Hazel. ,;,0;

"What would?" said George blankly."Society," said Hazel uncertainly. "Wasn't

that what you just said?""Who knows?" said George. .The television program was suddenly inter-

rupted for a news bulletin. It wasn't clear ,atfirst as to what the bulletin was about, sinethe announcer, like all announcers, had a'se-rious speech impediment. For about half;aminute, and in a state of high excitement,·thannouncer tried to say, "Ladies and G~n-tlemen-" _

He finally gave up, handed the bulletin t9'aballerina to read. "~t

"That's all right," Hazel said of the )~n-nouncer, "he tried. That's the big thing.I;Ietried to do the best he could with whatgave him. He should get a nice raise for tryi~so hard."{..::'~

"Ladies and gentlemen-" said the ba!~e--rina, reading the bulletin. She must have bee~extraordinarily beautiful, because the mas,she wore was hideous. And it was easy to see_

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that she was the strongest and most graceful""VI- of all the dancers, for her handicap bags were

~\{ as big as those worn by two-hundred-pound,~:'",'._men.

, );:, And she had to apologize at once for her" ~ voice, which was a very unfair voice for a

'woman to use. Her voice was a warm, lumi-nous, timeless melody. "Excuse me-" shes~id, and she began again, making her voiceabsolutely uncompetitive .. "Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen," she said

in a grackle squawk, "has just escaped fromjail, where he was held on suspicion of plot-ting to overthrow the government. He is a gen-ihs and an athlete, is under-handicapped, andshould be regarded as extremely dangerous.".:A police photograph of Harrison Bergeron~as flashed on the screen-upside down,then sideways, upside down again, then right-

"s'ide up. The picture showed the full length ofHarrison against a background calibrated I infeet and inches. He was exactly seven feet tall.:, The rest of Harrison's appearance was Hal-)oween and hardware. Nobody had ever'?orne heavier handicaps. He had outgrown

: hindrances faster than the H-G men couldthink them up. Instead of a little ear radio for,,a mental handicap, he wore a tremendous

"pair of earphones, and spectacles with thick,;'fiavy lenses besides. The spectacles wereintended not only to make him half blind, but

, ~6give him whanging headaches besides.~'Scrap metal was hung all over him. 01'-,dinarily, there was a certain symmetry.i a mili-~ry neatness to the handicaps issued to

. strong people, but Harrison looked like a'~alkingjunkyard. In the race of life Harrison~rried three hundred pounds."And to offset his good looks, the H-G men

~equired that he wear at all times a red rubber~ll for a nose, keep his eyebrows shaved off,

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THE HAPPY BOY 1985 Irvin TepperGallery Paule Anglim. San Francisco,

and cover his even white teeth with black capsat snaggletooth random.

"If you see this boy," said the ballerina, "donot-I repeat, do not-try to reason withhim."

There was the shriek of a door being tornfrom its hinges .

Screams and barking cries of consternationcame from the television set. The photograph

I. calibrated: marked in order to measure something;a thermometer, a ruler, and a measuring cup are allcalibrated.2. symmetry: beauty of form; balance.

hindrance (hin' dransl n. anything that gets in the way of something; a restraint--'--'-' -"'--..LL~.:, h", •••h"7"rn arranoernent.used as a noun only in the' phrase

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of Harrison Bergeron on the screen jumpedagain and again, as though dancing to thetune of an earthquake.

George Bergeron correctly identified theearthquake, and well he might have-formany was the time his own home hacl dancedto the Same crashing tune. "My God-" saidGeorge, "that must be Harrison!"

The realization was blasted from his mindinstantly by the sound of an automobile colli-sion in his head.

When George could open his eyes again,the photograph of Harrison was gone. A liv-ing, breathing Harrison filled the screen.

Clanking, clownish, and huge, Harrisonstood in the center of the studio. The knob ofthe uprooted studio door was still in his hand.Ballerinas, technicians, musicians, and an-nouncers cowered on their knees before him,expecting to die.

"I am the Emperor!" cried Harrison. "Doyou hear? I am the Emperor! Everybody mustdo what I say at once!" I-Ie stamped his footand the studio shook.

"Even as I stand hcrc-" he bellowed,"crippled, hobbled, sickcncd-I am a greaterruler than any man who ever lived! Nowwatch me become what I mil become!"

Harrison tore the straps of his handicapharness like wet tissue paper, tore straps guar-anteed to support five thousand pounds.

Harrison's scrap-iron handicaps crashed tothe floor. \

Harrison thrust his thumbs under the barof the padlock that secured his head harness.The bar snapped like celery. Harrisonsmashed his head phones and spectaclesagainst the wall.

He flung away his rubber-ball nose, re-vealed a man that would have awed Thor, the

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Wordsto Knowand Use

cower (kou' ar) v. to bow or crouch, usually in fearsynchronize (sirj" kra nlz') v. to cause something to move in exactly the same

rhythm or speed as something else

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god of thunder."I shall now select my Empress!';h .

looking down on the cowering peo'plethe first woman who dares rise to h~[claim her mate and her throne!" .

A moment passed, and then a b~rarose, swaying like a willow. .

Harrison plucked the mental h~tifrom her ear, snapped off her physicai'h'icaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of ~llremoved her mask. '"

She was blindingly beautiful."Now-" saicl Harrison, taking her 'ha

"Shall we show the people the meaning ~.f1word dance? Music!" he commanded. '-

The musicians scrambled back into'~'tliechairs, and Harrison stripped them oLthchandicaps, too. "Play your best," he told {hem"and I'll make you barons and dukes'anearls." .

The music began. It was normal at fi~~t'cheap, silly, false. But Harrison snatched twmusicians from their chairs, waved them!li~batons as he san~ the music as he wanted"

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played. He slammed them back into !heichairs.

The music began again, and wasimproved. "

Harrison and his Empress merely listerieCi,to the music for a while-listened gravely;:athough synchronizing their heartbeats with;it.

They shifted their weight to their toes. ",i.Harrison placed his big hands on the gitrs

tiny waist, letting her sense the weightlessn~~s'.... ~

that would soon be hers. :1' .And then, in an explosion of joy and grace)

into the air they sprang! .Not only were the laws of the land abari:c

cloned, but the law of gravity and the laws of;motion as well. "'1~

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_ They reeled, whirled, swiveled, flounced,, 3 4

,~4!!~"capered, gamboled, and spun.,,-~~~ They leaped like deer on the moon.

The studio ceiling was thirty feet high, but~¥"each leap brought the dancers nearer to it.

" It became their obvious intention to kiss the"ceiling.~, They kissed it..- And then, neutralizing gravity with loveand pure will, they remained suspended in airinches below the ceiling, and they kissed each'other for a long, long time.,;' It was then that Diana Moon Glampers, theHandicapper General, came into the studioivith a double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun.

~She fired twice, and the Emperor and theEmpress were dead before they hit the floor."iDiana Moon Glampers loaded the gunagain. She aimed it at the musicians and told

, -them they had ten seconds to get their hand-icaps back on.: It was then that the Bergerons' televisiont,ube burned out..'~Hazel turned to comment about the black-'~'ut to George.But George had gone out into~he kitchen for a can of beer.

I'!II!i'KJ 'iIGeorge came back in with the beer, paused

while a handicap signal shook him lip. Andthen he sat down again. "You been crying?"he said to Hazel.

"Yup," she said."What about?" he said."I forget," she said. "Something real sad on

television.""What was it?" he said."It's all kind of mixed up in my mind," said

Hazel."Forget sad things," said George."I always do," said Hazel."That's my girl," said George. He winced.

There was the sound of a riveting gun in hishead.

"Gee-I could tell that one was a doozy,"said Hazel.

"You can say that again," said George."Gee-" said Hazel, "I could tell that one

was a doozy." ~

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3. caper: 10 skip and jump playfully.4. gambol (gam' b;JI): frolic and dance.

HARRISON BERGERON 715

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First Impressions

1. What do you think of the future world that Vonnegut describes? Write yourreaction in your journal.

Second Thoughts

2. What are your impressions of George and Hazel Bergeron?Think about

• George's handicap• Hazel's "perfectly average intelligence"• their feelings about their son

3. In this future world. why do you think that competition is forbidden?Think about

• the remark that the ballerinas were handicapped "so that no one ... wouldfeel like something the cat drug in"

• why most of the people willingly accept their handicaps• why the escaped Harrison Bergeron wants to be Emperor• why the Handicapper General must kill Harrison Bergeron

4. Reread in Enrich Your Reading the information about Vonnegut's use of sat-ire. What ideas or programs in our society do you think Vonnegut might beridiculing in "Harrison Bergeron"?

5. When Harrison Bergeron is completely free of his handicaps. he defies thelaws of gravity and motion. What might Vonnegut be suggesting about thepotential of free human beings?

Broader Connections

~. Consider two different high schools. At Skinner High School. equality andteamwork are emphasized. Students are encouraged to work for the com-mon good. All students take the same classes. and there are no honors orremedial classes and no grades. Students are required to wear uniforms.and only noncompetitive sports are played. At Emerson High School. com-petition and individual achievement are stressed. A wide variety of coursesare offered. there are both honors and remedial classes. and grades aregiven for all courses. Competitive sports are a major focus. Which school doyou feel has the better system? Why?

i716 UNIT SIX TAKING A STAND