FVP Voice Spring 2017
FVP and Theater at Monmouth presents
We See You, the film.
Nancy Provost, Abuse Prevention Educator
Last year FVP received a grant from the Jane Costello
Wellehan Fund of the Maine Community Foundation to
increase outreach to domestic abuse survivors in the
LGBTQIA+ community. It is because of this grant that
We See You was made possible. The film addresses
awareness of domestic abuse within the LGBTQIA+
community. We began by collecting data from high-
school focus groups, and distributed surveys to adults in
the community, the results of which supported the
purpose behind our efforts.
Theater at Monmouth (TAM) joined our initiative, and
Carmen-Maria Mandley, former Community
Engagement Manager at TAM, served as Script-Writer/
and Co-Director. We filmed in many locations and
received footage from those we could not film in
person. We spent many hours filming at Theater at
Monmouth, using the beautifully restored space as the
backdrop for many scenes. This process yielded many
stories told, lines read, and tears shed, and over 80
hours of raw footage. The title of the film emerged
after hearing Ruth Glenn, Executive Director of the
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence speak at
their annual Conference. Addressing both survivors and
advocates, Ruth declared, “We see you. We celebrate
you. We love you.” That was it. That was the message
that we needed to share with survivors in the
LGBTQIA+ community. We want people to know that
we are here to provide support to everyone and that
nobody is invisible to us.
Christina Hallowell, Marketing Associate at Theater at
Monmouth, is the Editor of We See Y ou. It was
Christina’s job to pare down all the footage and turn it
into a film. She noted, “Working on this film has really
opened my eyes to how often domestic violence occurs.
I’ve realized it really can happen to anyone at any time
and doesn’t discriminate. As a viewer, it’s easy to see
your relationship as ‘okay’ because maybe your abuse
isn’t physical, but because the film shows that abuse
comes in many different forms, it could honestly
save a life. It’s important to let these people tell their
stories to help spread awareness.” Dawn McAndrews
worked behind the scenes at Theater at Monmouth to
make sure the entire process ran smoothly. “When
Nancy approached us to work with
continued on page 7
We Turn Toward One Another
By: Melody Fitch
What does it mean to say that Leadership comes from
within and that most of us will be leaders at many points
throughout our lives? In an organization such as Family
Violence Project, we recognize that power is an energy
which can be used for building and strengthening
relationships, organizations, and nations; and it is a
force that may be used to manipulate, control, and
weaken the very fabric of life. Understanding power
within the context of leadership and service is
fundamental to advocacy efforts, with individual
survivors and perpetrators of violence, in our
communities, and within our organizations.
In work with individual survivors of abuse, we seek to
stand alongside, providing supports and information.
We turn toward the person who has experienced abuse
and acknowledge their struggle. These courageous
people sometimes believe we are stronger than they and
that we have far more information and access to
resources than they. Through our work together, victims
begin to recognize how they have used their personal
power to remain alive, that every day they plan for and
implement strategies for safety; often complex and with
very little outside reinforcements. Yes, we may have
information about resources and how to access them,
but each person moves through their own process by
accessing and harnessing an internal power driven by
the motivation to survive, to protect children, and
eventually, to thrive. We turn toward, holding a mirror
before this powerful person taking the leading role
within their life to increase safety for themselves and
their children.
Leaders in our communities have consistently provided
supports in furthering the mission of Family Violence
Project to end domestic violence in Kennebec and
Somerset counties. Some of these heroes have names
and faces many recognize and they may use this
visibility to draw attention to the issue of domestic
violence; others choose to lead from within their
workplaces, communities, or social groups in a rather
quiet, systemic change-making manner. Leaders within
our communities turn toward one another, in
partnership, and we find the next steps together.
Welcome New FVP Board Members
We are thrilled to announce our three newest members
to the Board of Directors. They are all knowledgeable,
service-oriented, and determined to move our mission
forward.
Lian Oyerbides is passionate about giving voice to those
who have lost it or never had it. In her various life roles
– mother, wife, full time student, interpreter, teacher,
supervisor, UMA student leader, corrections officer and
FVP Helpline volunteer advocate she is committed to
social justice and change. Lian developed the Asian
American Association of Maine in October of 2016 to
connect Asian communities socially, economically and
politically.
Alicia Barnes is a Digital Marketing Analyst for Dream
Local Digital based in Rockland. She has helped to raise
more than $300,000 for local community organizations
through crowd funding. Alicia served as a RADAR and
flight deck communications technician in the Navy and
is a veteran of the Iraq war.
Rosemary Winslow has been a life-long advocate for the
underdog. Helping to establish the Mid Maine Interfaith
Shelter twenty-five years ago kicked off her community
participation. She has just left Waterville’s City Coun-
cil after sixteen diligent years. After working for Mike
Michaud at the state and federal levels, Rosemary re-
mains committed to working within the systems of
government to create the changes that help those in
need. Ro lives in Waterville, overlooking the
Messalonskee Stream and all of its flora and fauna.
2
You are invited!
Family Violence Project’s
Benefit & Recognition Night.
June 14, 2007
6:00pm to 8:00pm
Longfellow’s Greenhouse, Manchester,
Maine
See page 5 for details
A Note from Our Nan Bell Dear FVP Community,
I came to work at Family Violence Project by way of
taking the volunteer training 20 years ago. A grant
funded position for a school based educator became
available; I applied and was hired! I worked in the
schools with administrators, faculty and students
offering prevention education about teen dating
violence and transitioned into community education
and outreach about 11 years ago.
Recently I became restless in my thoughts, and I know
that this is in part due to safety concerns; my
ex-husband will be released from prison this June of
2017. Having to work and live domestic violence is not
easy, and I have spent many years working to create a
new life. I am grateful for the time I have spent
advocating to make social change around the problem of
domestic violence and now it’s time for a change. I am
starting a new chapter in my work life as a project
coordinator for a grant funded program. The position
sparked my interest because it is a program to
prevent obesity, and I will be working to develop
policies and coordinate activities related to the grant.
I am excited to be able to take the skills I acquired
working here at Family Violence Project as a
School-based and Community Educator and use them
with a new focus.
I am leaving Family Violence Project with a sense of
accomplishment and pride for the many years of
service I contributed in working to help victims of
abuse and raising awareness about the issue of
domestic violence. My personal mission was to do this
work in memory of my son Matthew, and educate
people about the effects domestic violence has on
children and families. This chapter of my life is
complete, and I am ready to begin writing the next
chapter in this journey of my life.
I am going to be working toward the creation of
legislation here in Maine that would offer criminal
protection from abuse orders to victims of heinous
crimes. Most DV survivors, like myself, will choose to
let their protection orders lapse while the perpetrator is
incarcerated. The reasons for this are numerous,
mostly revolving around fear and not wanting to attract
attention to themselves (and their location) a second
time, or to be re-traumatized by the court process. And
there is still the real possibility that a judge may rule that
the perpetrator has been a model prisoner and no new
abuse has occurred; thus, no order is issued.
That being the case, this legislation, if passed, would be
called "Matthew's Law", in memory of my son, which
would automatically grant lifetime protection orders to
victims of heinous crimes and their families - if that is
something desired by the victims. As far as I have been
able to find out, there is no current lifetime protection
order process in Maine. There is the ability to have a
PFA extended for up to six years - or even more - at the
judge’s discretion. But even that requires a trip back to
court. And if the order has expired, the judge will be
looking for new evidence. I am thankful for the
relationships and experiences acquired during my time
here, and I will take the passion and commitment I am
known for having, to the new work I will be doing in the
Capital Area. This isn’t goodbye, it is see you soon!
Nan Bell
Community Educator
Somerset House Transitions By: Pam Morin, Director, Somerset Healthy Recovery Program
Family Violence Project Somerset Healthy Recovery
Program (FVP, Somerset House) has moved! We feel
fortunate to have this new opportunity. Staff and
residents are settling into the new location. Thank you to
everyone who sent art work and decorations for the shel-
ter. It has made it very cozy. The house is
beautiful and the community is welcoming. Residents
and staff continue to explore the grounds and the neigh-
borhood. Michelle continues to do amazing work as the
Somerset Housing Navigator; in fact Michelle was rec-
ognized as a rising star, best new Housing
Navigator for the Year , by our par tners at Maine
Housing. Yeah Michelle!
We would like to express a special thank you to the
community of Madison for the many years of support,
generosity and protection. There was never any doubt
that we could depend on the community to aid the
women and children who came to shelter seeking
safety. The inclusive acceptance by the Madison
community will be challenging to replicate. We will
always be appreciative! So again, the Madison
community, thank you from all of us at Family Violence
Project!
3
IT TAKES A COMMUNITY TO
Family Violence Project was the recipient of the
Hannaford Cause Bag Program! Thank you all so much for your support during this great opportunity. Family Violence Project was the beneficiary of 3 rounds of the Bags 4 My Cause Program at the Hannaford store on Cony Circle in Augusta . Over 700 bags were sold! This means FVP received a check for over $700.00. These funds help us to provide support services to victims of domestic violence and their families in Kennebec and Somerset Counties. Thank you again to everyone who supported us through the purchase of the Hannaford Helps reusable bag! For more information about the program visit www.hannaford.bags4mycause.com.
Desserts to End Domestic Violence
Family Violence would like to thank these
area restaurants who made the 2016 Domestic
Violence Awareness Month a Success!
Lisa’s Restaurant & Catering
China-Dine-ah
Liberal Cup
Slates
Quarry Tap Room
Gardiner Food Co-op
A1 Diner
The Last Unicorn
Ken’s Family Restaurant
COMMUNITY SHOUT OUT!
Many Thanks to
The Daughters of Isabella and Somerset Abby
in Somerset County for your fundraising efforts on
behalf of our Somerset Shelter.
Thank you Laflin & Wolfington!
In their own words:
Laflin & Wolfington donates a portion of their
commission on every sale to a group who supports
local children and families. It's truly a team effort
because each of the agents in our office (5 full time
agents) chooses to give a portion and then Laflin &
Wolfington Realty matches. Most of us have a tag
line in our email that talks about our involvement
with the Family Violence Project to try to increase
awareness for your program, and also let everyone
know that when you do business with us, a portion of
the proceeds will go to a good cause.
4
Thank you to the Maine Chapter of the
Association of Government Accountants for
your School Supply and Backpack Program
donation.
Camden National Bank's Hope@Home is their
own initiative to help the homeless by donating
$100 to a community shelter every time a
customer finances a new home. Thank you
Camden National for supporting FVP!
END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
5
Volunteer Highlight
By Jaime Mooney, Co-Director of Advocacy and Special Programs
Hi everyone! My name is Alyssa Radmore and I’ve been
volunteering with Family Violence Project for almost
two years now doing overnight hotline shifts and co-
facilitating Support Group in Waterville with Karen. I
work as a School Social Worker for Becket Family of
Services where I support kiddos who have significant
behavioral needs. In my free time I love recreating
outdoors, cooking, reading and spending time with my
loved ones.
Why do you support Family Violence Project?
I support Family Violence Project because I believe that
someday domestic violence could be a thing of the past.
Violence is learned and so it can also be un-learned.
What do you enjoy about volunteering?
I love listening and learning. I am so grateful for the
privilege to hear such inspiring stories of resilience and
perseverance.
What do you know about Family Violence Project that
most people don't or should?
Even in the hardest of times, there are options. So often I
hear themes of helplessness and hopelessness come
through in a conversation. Family Violence Project
advocates can really help to tease out what options can
work in every unique situation.
What is your vision for addressing domestic violence
in Maine?
I see prevention and education as the most important
pieces of advocacy work that we can do in order to end
the cycle of abuse that plagues generations of Maine
families. We need to talk to children and help them to
see a different way. I adore our state but there’s work to
be done around gender roles, the use of violence and the
way we view interpersonal relationships. I could go on
and on!
Certified Batterers Program
The Big Picture By Jon Heath, Director of Education
Menswork uses The Duluth Curriculum, which provides
a helpful framework for understanding battering,
“Providing an educational process for participants who
batter their partners, is not a neutral endeavor. Each
educator conducts a class within a community, a
program, and a personal philosophical framework that
either supports a participant’s process of change toward
non-violence or reinforces their dominance over the
partner they batter.”
Often a fine line separates all of us, from those who are
court mandated to attend CBIP. We’ve all been
socialized in a culture which values power, a culture in
which the thinking that we challenge in the classes, is
present in every aspect of our daily lives. Our schools,
churches, and places of work are all structured
hierarchically. Anger management and psychological
counseling; are rooted in theories that ignore intent and
personal accountability and focus instead on violence as
the result of stress, anger, or an inability to express
feelings. That type of intervention for domestic violence
fails to acknowledge the real experience of victims who
live with perpetrators who batter.
The tactics used by those who batter reflect the tactics
used by many groups or individuals who have beliefs
that they are privileged or entitled and who hold
positions of power in our culture. Each of the tactics
depicted on the power and control wheel is typical of
behaviors used by groups who dominate others. They
are tactics employed to sustain racism, ageism, classism,
heterosexism, anti-Semitism and many other forms of
group domination. This cultural acceptance of
dominance is rooted in the assumption that some people
have the legitimate right to master others. (Excerpted
from DAIP, Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs BIP
Curriculum Introduction)
Since 2000 we have had 853 completers at Menswork
and of that number, only 52 came back (6%), and of
those, 34 completed a second time, and did not come
back again. This is in contrast to 1134 who did not
complete, many of whom are frequent flyer enrollees,
some with unaccountable attitudes, some with financial
limitations. This data supports Dr. Ed Gondolf's findings
that completers do better. And completers, according to
our records, are rarely seen again in CBIP.
6
Continued from Front Cover
Family Violence Project to develop We See Y ou, there
wasn’t any question in my mind that we would support
this endeavor. TAM’s mission is to tell stories that
enrich the lives of people throughout Maine –what
better way to do that than to give voice to the people of
the LGBTQIA+ in our community.” Please visit
Theater at Monmouth webpage,
theateratmonmouth.org, where you can read all about
their community collaborations and productions.
Where can you view We See Y ou? The premiere
screening in May at TAM is for those who participated
in or contributed to the film. We will be looking for
other venues for screenings and presentations across the
Kennebec-Somerset county area. If you are interested
in hosting a screening or presentation, please email our
Abuse Prevention Educator,
[email protected] who helped
produce and direct the film. See names and faces
involved in the film by visiting the film’s Facebook
page www.facebook.com/weseeyouthefilm/?
ref=aymt_homepage_panel.
FVP Board of Directors
President David White, Casework Supervisor,
DHHS Adult Protective Services
Vice President Kate Clearwater, Attorney and Health
Policy Professional
Treasurer Rick Barry, Vice President of Patient
Services/CNO Inland Hospital
Secretary Chelsea Moeller, Director of
Philanthropy, MaineGeneral Health
Heather Akeley, English Teacher, Cony High School
Alicia Barnes, Digital Marketing Analyst, Dream
Local Digital
Maeghan Maloney, District Attorney, Kennebec &
Somerset Counties
Lian Oyerbides, Business Owner, Lotus Learning Center,
LLC. And Home Away from Home Lodging
Nathan Richards , Pastor in Solon and Norridgewock
James Ross, Chief Deputy, Somerset County Sheriff Dept.
Lauren Whitman, Owner of Nautilus Whole Health
Rosemary Winslow, Life long advocate and change agent
Please consider donating to Family Violence Project.
Your donation will aid families of domestic violence with
emergency shelter, advocacy, court advocacy and
other programs designed to help victims.
www.familyviolenceproject.org
One Day
I’m still sick and suffering the empty inside,
One Day, in life I’ll enjoy the ride.
Deep down I’m full of sadness and sorrow,
One Day, I won’t have to steal or borrow.
Some days I’m right and some days I’m wrong,
One Day, I won’t sit here replaying my life song.
Inside my mind I have a lot of guilt and shame,
One Day, in life I won’t be the one to blame.
Soon I will have my own place,
One Day, I will have a sincere smile on my face.
My son will come home to me soon,
One Day, I won’t have to wonder while gazing at
the moon
Today I pray, for One Day to become TODAY!
Written by a former Shelter Resident in September 2016
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To contact Family Violence Project:
Helpline 24/7 coverage 207-623-3569 or Toll Free 1-877-890-7788
Augusta Administrative Office 207-623-8637; Waterville 207-877-0835;
Skowhegan 207-474-8860 ; Menswork 207-620-8494
www.familyviolenceproject.org
Family Violence Project does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex, sexual orientation, physical or mental disability, reli-
gion, age, ancestry or national origin, gender identity or expression, pregnancy or any other characteristic protected by law.
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Family Violence Project is a member of the MCEDV—Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence.
www.mcedv.org. Family Violence Project is supported by Maine Department of Health and Human Services
and United Way of Kennebec Valley and United Way Mid Maine
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Violence Project Maine
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Family Violence Project
P O Box 304
Augusta, Me 04332
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