Fandango Movie
By
Matt Thompson
&
Michael Mahady
May 7, 2011
EXT. STREET - DAY
BARFEE and LEAF walk down the street in SLOW MOTION with sin
glasses on.
They stop and look cool for dramatic effect.
ANGLE - sign infront of them.
"Fandango Awards"
--A picture of Michael Mahady and Matt Thompson are on the
poster.
BARFEE
Yes, of course. The old fandango
awards. A common tradition in
theater, I suppose.
LEAF
One time my mom made me do a play
in fourth grade with my sister
marigold. We did Noah’s Ark and I
was the unicorn. I remember my
line: "Phhhhrararafff."
Beat.
BARFEE
Leaf that theater belongs to us.
Long have we inhabited its
cinderblock walls and sub-par sound
equipment for our bees. You know
what we need to do?
LEAF
Eat a candy corn.
BARFEE
We must take over the award
ceremony and become the true hosts
of the fandangos!
BARFEE’s phone RINGS.
BARFEE (CONT.)
Hello. Yes, Joan. I took the afrin
and sudafed. Yes I used
anti-perspirant of course its 96
degrees outside. You found what? Oh
yes of course. No, no I told you
with a medical card its legal, my
severe asma is qualifying. You’re
not even my real mother! I know!!
2.
LEAF
One time, marigold had this friend
mary jane over, but when she came
out to play my mom called the
police.
BARFEE
Leaf don’t you realize what needs
to be done here? We have to call
upon help if we are going to
succeed in this tyrannical
overthrow.
LEAF
Yes.
BARFEE
And I know just who to call.
CUT TO:
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
MARCY PARK sits in the school library, surrounded by piles
of books, studying.
LEAF
Oh apples. That’s Marcy Park, Barf.
BARFEE
I know.
LEAF
She made it to nationals last year.
What do we need her for?
BARFEE
Because deep down inside that
hideous face of clusturous
meltdowns and social ineptibility
is a girl with a knack for
caniving.
LEAF stares at him.
LEAF
What?
BARFEE approaches her.
3.
BARFEE
Marcy Park?
MARCY
What.
BARFEE
Hello, my name is William Morris
Barfee, there’s an accent...
MARCY
Ague, I know.
BARFEE
Of course. And this is my friend.
LEAF
Leaf Coneybear, pleased to meet
you.
MARCY
Look, you are cutting into my study
time and if I am thrown off my
regular schedule I will not be able
to make up time for another 7
weeks. So go away.
LEAF
We need your help.
MARCY
I don’t support charities.
LEAF
No it’s not for the tooth fairy. We
need you to help us get rid of the
hosts for the fandango awards.
MARCY
What’s in it for me?
BARFEE
You know that fat new girl in
school, the one whose hair keeps
blocking your view in chemistry?
She is going to be singing in it.
MARCY’s eyes narrow.
MARCY
Tracy Turnblad.
CUT TO:
4.
INT. DETENTION - DAY
TRACY TURNBLAD, PENNY PINGLETON and SEAWEED and all the
BLACK DETENTION PEOPLE are dancing in Mr. Fares’ detention
room.
TRACY
Oh my god, Penny. Remember that one
time when we saw that super hot guy
Anthony James in school.
PENNY
Tracy, he totally wanted you.
FLASHBACK
EXT. SCHOOL - DAY
ANTHONY JAMES walks down the courtyard with a mob of girls
following at a safe distance behind him. He takes off one of
his shirts and becomes apart of another social group. He
takes off another and another. TRACY and PENNY walk by and
as they do, ANTHONY takes off his last shirt and his bare
body walks passed the girls. They SCREAM
BACK TO SCENE
Principle, ROSS THE BOSS enters the room.
ROSS
What have I said on numerous
occasions about this ridiculous
rambunctiousness in detention. This
is supposed to be a place of
punishment. I shall have to do
something about this immediately.
Girls meet me in my office
immediately after school tomorrow.
And come alone. Peak in to see if I
am changing before entering, I will
have just come from a long job so
my sweaty body may be bare.
ANGLE - MARCY, LEAF and BARFEE are pearing through the
detention window.
MARCY
I can’t stand it. If that tub of
lard is in the fandangos, I will do
anything to stop it.
5.
BARFEE
I knew your hate would slowly
overcome you.
MARCY
I know a perfect team of people to
call too. Meet me tomorrow in the
quad and we will discuss out plans.
LEAF is still looking through the window.
LEAF
They’re not even black.
CUT TO:
INT. TURNBLAD RESIDENCE - DAY
EDNA is in the living room ironing some clothes with the
T.V. on.
WILBUR enters.
WILBUR
Hiya hun!
EDNA
Oh hi Wilbur. How was your day?
WILBUR
It was fantastic. I’m telling ya
ever since I got that new shipment
of Wilbur’s Wacky Water, people are
going nuts. I’ve already sold a
thousand bottles in two days!
EDNA
Ohhh that’s just lovely dear.
WILUR
Where’s Tracy?
EDNA
Detention again, I’m sure.
WILBUR
Oh. Well you know, sweet heart,
that just might give us enough time
to, you know, christen these newly
ironed sheets.
6.
EDNA
Oh Wilbur, stop it, you’re making
me blush!
KNOCK on the door.
EDNA (CONT.)
Oh well now who could that be.
She walks to the door.
EDNA (CONT.)
Hello?
MARCY
Hi. Mrs. Turnblad?
EDNA
Yes. And who are you little miss?
MARCY
I’m Marcy and I’m 11.
EDNA
Right.
MARCY
I’m a friend of your daughter’s,
Stacey.
EDNA
Tracy.
MARCY
May I come inside?
EDNA
Oh certainly, make yourself right
at home.
She enters.
MARCY
Mr. and Mrs. Turnblad, thank you
for opening up your home. I have
come because I am concerned for you
daughter. As you know she is
performing in the Fandango awards
at school and quite frankly I’m
worried that this could cause some
unnecessary strain on her vocal
chords.
7.
EDNA
Oh well thanks honey, but our Tracy
is very excited about this award
ceremony and it would be awful if
we told her she couldn’t do it.
MARCY
But I know Tracy is almost famous
now and has quite the career ahead
of her. You wouldn’t want her to
take unnecessary risks, would you?
WILBUR
(interjecting)
Maybe there’s something else she
could do to be apart of it, that
wouldn’t harm her voice?
MARCY
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
Would your daughter be interested
in hosting the awards show by
chance?
CUT TO:
INT. THEATER - DAY
MATT and MICHAEL are preparing on the stage for the awards.
BARFEE and LEAF approach and watch them from a doorway.
TRACY appears onstage.
TRACY
Hey guys! I just wanted to say it
is totally groovy that you guys are
including me on being a host this
year.
MATT
Umm...what?
MIKE
Excuse me?
MATT
I’m sorry you must be mistaken.
TRACY
What do you mean?
8.
MIKE
Me and Matt are hosting. We always
have been.
TRACY
But I thought...
She begins to cry.
MARCY enters next to LEAF and BARFEE.
LEAF
Marcy this doesn’t look good.
BARFEE
It appears you didn’t think this
one through.
MARCY
Just wait.
TRACY
(sobbing)
Is it because I’m fat!?
MIKE
You’re not even fat.
PENNY enters.
PENNY
Oh no, Tracy!
(to Matt and Mike)
What did you do!? This is my best
friend you are going to pay for
this. Seaweed!
SEAWEED enters with the detention kids.
SEAWEED
(whips out his switchblade)
Who do we need to kill!
MATT
Guys, hey, let’s settle down. Mikey
call them!
MIKE
(to offstage)
Mystery Team Assemble!
MYSTERY TEAM enters with FRED, VELMA, DAPHNE, SCOOBY and
SHAGGY.
9.
SEAWEED
Who are you?
BARFEE
(from off to the side)
Oh cripes.
FRED
We are the Mystery team.
MARCY
What!
TRACY
What!
MATT
Me and Mikey have been sensing
someone trying to take over the
award show so we hired the mystery
team to conduct a secret
investigation.
TRACY
This is so unfair!
MIKE
Don’t worry Trace, I think we all
know who the real culprits are.
Daphne!
DAPHNE appears behind Barfee and Leaf and grabs them by the
ear, dragging them to the stage. They wince in pain.
EVERYONE
Leaf? Barfee?
MARCY
I’m innocent!
MARCY turns to leave and Scooby enters and drags her to the
stage.
FRED
Apparently, these two hired Marcy
to try and turn Tracy against Matt
and Mike and eliminate all the
hosts so they could take over.
BARFEE
We would have gotten away with it
too if it weren’t for you
crepescules.
10.
TRACY
I’m sorry. I never would have tried
to take over the show.
MIKE
It’s alright Tracy. Let me just
make out with you.
They makeout and quickly finish.
MIKE (CONT.)
Ok we gotta go get ready, the
show’s about to start.
MATT
Thanks Mystery team. Another job
well done.
SHAGGY
You can thank our great directors
Mike Mezzino and Paul Franke.
He waves to the camera.
FRED
Now let’s take these two away.
BARFEE and LEAF wince as they get pulled offstage.
They pass by SCOOBY who barks at them.
LEAF
Ok. Now why is he black?
CUT TO:
INT. STAGE
MATT and MIKE quickly run behind the curtain, behind the
screen, dressed as hosts.
The SCREEN begins to raise.
BLACK
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