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    Enjoyable Conversations

    Learn the Basic Steps

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    The ways of making the conversation

    are simple Topics you talk about

    How you talk about them

    Questions you ask How you listen

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    Topics you talk about

    Ideally, the topics you introduce should be interesting toyour talk-partner(s). Such is not often the case. For example, it is common for conversers to talk about whatinterests them, not others. Thus, they develop very little

    common ground. One way to show interest in others is totalk about what concerns or interests them. Sports-oriented folks love to talk sports; business people,

    business; political wonks, politics; mothers, their children.But due to their passionate interest in their own topics, theyoften forget that many others are not similarly interested.

    Therefore, this simple step is to find topics of mutualinterest and talk about those.

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    How you talk about them

    Do you do so in a flat and ho-hum manner? Ordoyou express energy and true interest in thesetopics?

    A routine, even robotic manner evokes a similarmanner in others and makes a conversation boringfor lack of energy and involvement.

    Working on your skills to share anecdotes and tellstories will move you closer to excellence. Most

    people love stories when they are told well. Therefore, this simple step includes adding

    vitality and expressiveness to your talk.

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    Questions you ask

    Many conversers tend mainly to ask closed questions, most of the "Yes or "No"type. For example, "Did you enjoy the movie?" A betterquestion wouldbe "Whatdid you enjoy about the movie?" So that you provide your partner with manyoptions, including "I didn't enjoy it at all. I thought the lead actor wasunconvincing."

    Having at least a few question arrows in yourquiver will help you to conversational

    excellence. These would include not only closed questions, but also open questionsthat you can think of as "What" and "How" questions.Examples: "What did you do then?" and "What happened?" or "How did you solvethat problem?" And "How did you feel after you took the medicine?"

    "If" questions are also helpful to get a person thinking, such as "If you had it to doover again, what would you do differently?" and "IfI gave you two days off work,would that help?"

    Indirect questions are another useful arrow in yourquiver. Examples: "I wonder if you're still thinking about going back to school" and "I'm

    puzzled about how you manage to remember everybody's name." So, this simple step asks you to increase the variety ofquestions you employ, and to

    use them appropriately.

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    How you listen

    The most frequent complaint I hear about conversation styles is"poor listening." Instances of this include not paying attention orgiving only split attention, interrupting others, mental rehearsal ofwhat you'll say next, and not being responsive (flat or deadpanexpression.)

    Good listening must include both intention to understand andattention to what is said. An effective listener is engaged with thetalker and shows it. An effective listener wouldbe able to reproduceat least the gist of what the talk said. The talker is validated byfeeling listened to.

    This simple step requires you to let go of your preoccupations and,when listening, to give your full attention to others.

    Doing so will take a little time, but it will cost you nothing, and theresults will make the practice well worth your effort.

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    How to Make Communication

    Effective in Business?

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    Effective communication largely depends upon the

    effective organizational structure. If the structure iscomplex, involving several layers of management, abreakdown in communication can arise.

    An organization cannot operate without proper flow ofcommunication. It is said to be the foremost problem of

    management in the way of making effectivecommunication. It serves as the lubricant, fostering for smooth operations of

    management process. It is very essential for themanagement to maintain an efficient flow ofcommunication in all directions.

    But in actual practice all massages are not effectivelytransmitted. Several impediments, hurdles, blockades, orstoppages, calledbarriers to communication distort themessage and make communication ineffective.

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    These barriers to communication lead to conflicts between menliving in the same community, working on the same job and even

    person living in different parts of the world that even do not knoweach other. These barriers may be physical, personal, semantic,organizational, emotional etc.

    A communication is a two way process, distance between the senderand the receiver of the message is an important barrier tocommunication. Noise and environmental factors also block

    communication. Personal factors like difference in judgment, social values,

    inferiority complex, bias, attitude, pressure of time etc. widen thepsychological distance between the communicator and thecommunicatee. Credibility gap acts as a barrier in communication.

    Semantic is the science of meaning. The same words and symbols

    carry different meanings to different people. Difficulties incommunication arise when the sender and receiver of the messageuse words in different senses.

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    The meaning intended by the sender may be different from themeaning followed by the receiver. Status in the hierarchy is the most

    fundamental barrier that obstructs free flow of information.A superior may only give selected information to subordinates so asto make status difference and subordinates tend to convey only thosethings, which the superior would, appreciate.

    Effective communication largely depends upon the effectiveorganizational structure. If the structure is complex, involvingseveral layers of management, a breakdown in communication canarise.

    Moreover information traveling through formal structures introducesrigidity and causes delay because of long line of communication.

    Barriers may also arise due to emotional attitude because whenemotions are strong one cannot judge the predictability of humannature.

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    How to Make Your

    Messages Memorable

    What makes a memorable TV commercial,product design, or marketing campaign? Why doyou listen to certain politicians or businessleaders, and glaze over at the very mention of others? Why is it that you dread opening certainsenders emails, but open others as soon as theyland in your inbox?

    Its all about messaging. When a piece of

    communication is to the point, relevant,worthwhile, and compelling, it moves you thelistener or reader to action.

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    The 4Cs Model of Effective

    Communication The 4Cs model is a useful tool for objectively

    evaluating the effectiveness of many forms ofcommunication: whats working, what isntworking, and why. The 4Cs can assessmarketing communication, as well as businesscommunication, political communication,

    entertainment, and plain old everyday person-to-person communication, from email and

    blogging to relationship talk.

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    The First C: Comprehension

    Does the audience get the message, the main idea,the point? What does the message instantlycommunicate? Can the audience play the message

    back? This confirms that they get it and the firstC is working. Here are three tips for better comprehension:

    Make the message clear and sharp. Repetition helps. Tell them what youre going to

    tell them; next, tell them; and then tell them whatyou told them.

    Keep it simple - dont go too deep.

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    The Second C: Connection

    Making a connection with a communicatedidea or message means not only that theaudience gets it, but that it resonates withthem, has meaning and significance for them,and usually triggers an irrational or emotionalresponse: frustration, excitement, anger,

    passion, joy, happiness, sadness, and so on.When connection is there, it will spark new

    behaviors and actions.

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    The Third C: Credibility

    The audience needs to believe who is saying it(the brand or messengers voice), what is beingsaid, and how it is being said. Otherwise, anyconnection begins to breakdown - immediately.Credibility is the critical C, because the audiencemay completely understand a communicatorsmessage, and even connect with it on anemotional level, then promptly turn around and

    say that coming from this particular source:company, political candidate, supervisor,whatever, they arent buying it.

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    The Fourth C: Contagiousness

    In communications, contagiousness is a goodthing. You want your audience to catch themessage, run with it, and spread it around. Thinkof the last time you saw a TV ad that was sofunny or clever that you discussed it with your friends, found yourself reenacting it, or repeatedthe slogan or catch phrase in conversations. Thatscontagiousness. To be contagious, a message has

    to be energetic, new, different, and memorable. Itshould also evoke a vivid emotional response,have talk potential, motivate the target to dosomething, and elicit a demonstrable reaction.

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    Effective Office Communication

    Communication is technically the process ofthe transfer of information between thecommunicating entities. But we know themeaning implied by communication is muchmore than mere transfer. It is the sharing of ones thoughts and feelings with the intension

    of being understood.

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    Office communication includes the communication between theemployees as well as the business talks and communications withthe clients of the company. The interactions between company

    employees determine the work environment and organizationculture. Communication involves in formal meetings, discussionswith clients or business negotiations has a direct effect on thecompany business.

    Office communication could be verbal or a non-verbal one. It couldbe a telephone conversation or one using an electronic mode ofcommunication. The bottom line is that it needs to be effective. Youneed to express yourself clearly and completely. The person on theother end should understand you. An effective communication is theone that includes clarity in expression and exchange of ideas andemotions. Let us see some forms of office communication and waysto make the communication effective.

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    Office communication over a

    Telephone While conversing on phone, remember to start the conversation by introducing

    yourself. It is important to convey to the receiver of your call who you are and thepurpose behind your call. Remember that you are taking his precious time.

    Keep your conversation brief and precise. Make your point without wasting timemuch time in coming to the actual topic. A telephone talk is quite impersonal, as itdoes not involve a face-to-face communication. Gestures and facial expressions do

    not exactly support communication because you are not visible to the personreceiving your call. If you do not happen to get to the person on the phone, you might prefer leaving a

    message. Clarity is again of prime importance. To make it easy for the person toreply, leave your phone number with the message.

    In case, you have not been able to answer your calls, respond to them. The personwho has been trying to call you might have been in need to communicate with you.

    It couldbe urgent. So it is better to reply to the unanswered calls. Do not end the call abruptly. Make your point, give the person on the other end, a

    chance to respond and end the call with a suitable greeting. It is important to givedue consideration to the age andposition of the person on the call.

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    Effective Electronic Communication

    Emails help in case of language barriers and accent problems. They lackthe audio component, making them even more impersonal. Emails areuseful in case of a time difference due to the varying time zones ofdifferentcountries.

    Electronic communication increases the turn around time, as it lacks

    immediate feedback. A phone call can actually take less time than writingout the thoughts and mailing them. Some may find it difficult to expressthemselves through writing. They might prefer personalized calls.

    But emails are best options for formal communication. Of course, you needto be careful in writing because electronic communication puts yourexpression into black and white. Precision in expression and a thoughtfuluse of words are essential constituents of written communication.

    Do not respond to emails without considering the effects of your response.Think before you write! Forwarding options in e-mails should be usedcarefully.

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    Business deals happen over phone, contracts

    are signed over the electronic media, thusmaking these ways of communication, keyplayers in business. Learning to effectivelycommunicate is the need of the day. Effective

    office communication is the vital componentof the corporate world. So, are you ready tomake a new entry into this world? This time

    you will be equipped with the tips to effectiveoffice communication.

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    How To Build Effective

    Communication Skills?

    Having effective communication skills isconsidered to be one of the keys to leading asuccessful life. Generally, people learn how tocommunicate during their early years and thatlearning gradually builds up with time and lifeexperiences. However, effective

    communication in particular is not somethingthat people necessarily learn during the courseof their lives.

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    Its generally observed that people, who have

    good oral and written communication skills,tend to easily tackle challenges that life throwsat them. Those people normally tend to do

    better at work, get early promotions, get along

    well with others and lead satisfactory lives.Hence its imperative to continuously learn and

    build up your oral and written communicationskills. Consider the following five importantelements that are necessary to build effectivecommunication skills.

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    Improve language skills

    The more knowledge you have about thelanguage that you use for communication, the

    better. Improve your vocabulary and practicenewly learned words by using them in your daily language. During communication, try toavoid saying long sentences. Try to make your

    sentences short and to the point. This may bedifficult to do initially but with practice youllget better.

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    Learn to handle objections

    Never enforce your point of view on othersand never think or assume that whatever youare saying is absolutely right and

    unobjectionable. Always be mentally ready toface objection on whatever you say and dont

    become defensive right off the bat. Open yourmind to other possibilities. If an objection is

    thrown at you, look at it without prejudice andknow that you could be wrong and always bewilling to accept it.

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    Learn to control your emotions

    You should try to be in control of your emotionswhen you communicate, especially negativeemotions. During a conversation, if something isnot said according to your liking or in line withyour point of view, dont get angry. Keep anger ata miles length and always keep remindingyourself that you have the right to control yourreaction. In case of a conflict, try to reach a

    compromise by finding a solution that makes bothpeople happy. If you get defensive and angry atany point, it is more than likely that the other

    person will do the same.

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    Learn to master your body language

    People are more visual and they generally tendto make an opinion about what you say byobserving how you say it. During aconversation, your tone, your volume, face

    expressions, hand gestures and other bodymovements make the most impact on the otherperson, even more than your wor ds. Somastering your body language and

    synchronizing your gestures with your speechwill help you achieve your objective tobecome an effective communicator.

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    Barriers To Communications

    There are 7 top barriers. Physical barriers

    Perceptual barriers Emotional barriers Cultural barriers Language barriers Gender barriers Interpersonal barriers

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    Physical barriers

    Physical barriers in the workplace include: marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which

    strangers are not allowed closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for

    people ofdifferent status large working areas or working in one unit that is

    physically separate from others. Research shows that one of the most important factors

    in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long aspeople still have a personal space that they can calltheir own, nearness to others aids communicationbecause it helps us get to know one another.

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    Perceptual barriers

    The problem with communicating with others is that we all see theworld differently. If we didn't, we would have no need tocommunicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its

    place. The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts,

    assumptions andperceptions shape our own realities: A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the

    next town. "Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the nexttown tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?"

    "Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the lasttown you visited?"

    "Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me fora fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very poor service."

    "Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much thesame here."

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    Emotional barriers

    One of the chief barriers to open and free communicationsis the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear,mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrustof others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were

    taught to be careful what we said to others. "Mind yourP's and Q's"; "Don'tspeakuntil you're spokento"; "Children should be seen and notheard". As a resultmany people hold back from communicating their thoughtsand feelings to others.

    They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise incertain relationships, excessive fear of what others mightthink of us can stunt ourdevelopment as effectivecommunicators and our ability to form meaningfulrelationships.

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    Cultural barriers

    When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooneror later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of thegroup. These are the behaviours that the group acceptas signs of belonging.

    The group rewar ds such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups whichare happy to accept you, and where you are happy toconform, there is a mutuality of interest and a highlevel of win-win contact.

    Where, however, there are barriers to your membershipof a group, a high level of game-playing replaces goodcommunication.

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    Language barriers

    Language that describes what we want to say in our terms maypresent barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions,buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in suchlanguage, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market placethe greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their

    language. One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat

    by the Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans atthe United Nations: "We will bury you!" This was taken to mean athreat of nuclear annihilation.

    However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have

    been: "We will overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It wasnot just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had ofthe Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and sinisterinterpretation.

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    Gender barriers

    There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a manand those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. Inchildhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, havea vocabulary twice that of boys.

    The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains.When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brainbut in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located inboth hemispheres and in two specific locations.

    This means that a man talks in a linear, logical andcompartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking; whereas a

    woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of bothsides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longerthan men each day.

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    Interpersonal barriers

    There are six levels at which people can distance themselves fromone another:

    Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusalto be in touch and time alone.

    Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities. Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and

    procedures of contact but no more. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about

    winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps". Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a highlevel of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

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    Overcoming Communication

    Barriers

    The act of communicating involves verbal,nonverbal, and paraverbal components. Theverbal component refers to the content of ourmessage the choice and arrangement of ourwords. The nonverbal component refers to themessage we send through our body language.

    The paraverbal component refers to how wesay what we say - the tone, pacing and volumeof our voices.

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    Communication Involves

    Three Components: Verbal Messages - the words we choose

    Paraverbal Messages - how we say the words

    Nonverbal Messages - our body language

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    Verbal Communication Barriers 1. Attacking (interrogating, criticizing, blaming, shaming)

    "If you were doing your job and supervising Susie in the lunch line we probablywouldnt be in this situation, would we?" "Have you followed through with the counseling we asked you to do? Have you

    gotten Ben to the doctors for his medical checkup? Did you call and arrange for aBig Brother? Have you found out if youre eligible for food stamps?"

    "From what I can see, you dont have the training to teach a child with ADHD.Obviously if you did you would be using different strategies that wouldnt make her

    feel like shes a bad person." 2. "You Messages" (moralizing, preaching, advising, diagnosing) "You dont seem to understand how important it is for your child to get this help.

    Dont you see that hes well on his way to becoming a sociopath?" "You obviously dont realize that if you were following the same steps we do at

    home you wouldnt be having this problem. You dont seem to care about whatsgoing on in this childs life outside of school."

    3. Showing Power (ordering, threatening, commanding, directing) "If you dont voluntarily agree to this evaluation we can take you to due process.

    Go ahead and file a complaint if you want to." "Im going to write a letter of complaint to the superintendent and have this in your

    file if you dont stop humiliating my son in front of his classmates. I know myrights."

    4. OtherVerbal Barriers: shouting, name calling, refusing to speak.

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    Nonverbal Communication Barriers

    Flashing or rolling eyes Quick or slow movements Arms crossed, legs crossed Gestures made with exasperation Slouching, hunching over Poor personal care Doodling Staring at people or avoiding eye contact Excessive fidgeting with materials

    O l

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    Ways to Overcome Interpersonal

    Communication Barriers

    Use Simple Words to Convey the Message. To have an effective process of interpersonal

    communication, you have to simplify language. Say simplestructure sentences that will be easy to understand.Everyone hates to decipher spoken words, reserve thedeciphering to the writing and when speaking, keep itsimple and easy to understand.

    In a work environment, teammates can use word jargons tobe able to understand each other using simple words or

    acronyms. Aside from this, the use of specialized acronymswill create a special bond that only the team will be able tounderstand.

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    Learn the Art of Listening The process of interpersonal communication requires one to learn the

    [tag]art of listening[/tag]. We say art because not everyone can do this. Aperson will always try to get his opinions across first before listening to theother persons point of view. To master the art of listening, try these tips:

    a. Listen Attentively - Listening does not mean hearing what the otherperson has to say. Hearing is not the same as listening. When we say listen,we mean to hear and understand. The speaker will know if the person he isspeaking to is listening or not by randomly asking indirect questions about

    what he just said. But if he learns that the receiver was able to understandwhat he has just conveyed, then the process of interpersonalcommunication is a success.

    b. Listen Proactively - Listening is actually a two-way[tag]communication[/tag] and not one way as others believe or perceive tobe. When two persons are communicating with each other, an effectiveprocess of interpersonal communication will require the use of asking

    questions while the other person is speaking. This will make theconversation richer and more interesting. Also, asking questions will keepthe conversation in the right direction.

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    Keeping Composure While Communicating The process of interpersonal communication is more

    effective if emotions are kept at bay. Keeping yourcomposure while talking or negotiating with a businesspartner will maintain a mysterious air while at the sametime keep you on the right track towards your goal.

    When you are in a casual conversation, however,showing some emotions can be helpful to build rapportto the one you are talking to. Showing emotions will letthe other person know that you have sympathy andcompassion towards him anddefinitely are signs ofgenuine interest.

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    Constructive Criticism is Important Feedback is perhaps the best sign that you are communicating with the

    other person on a more personal level. Both the sender and receiver ofcommunications may use feedback for effective interpersonalcommunication. If used by the sender, it will be in the form of a question

    such as Did you understand what I have just said? While when used bythe receiver, it can be in the form of a remark or a statement such as, Whata wonderful speech!

    When making a constructive criticism, be sure to say it only within theearshot of your subject. Remember, a constructive criticism for you can bemisconstrued as a negative feedback.

    To excel in the process of interpersonal communication, you must honeyour skill in providing constructive criticism, especially for team leaderswherein they have to be mindful of the development of their teammembers. Expect many instances requiring constructive criticism as part ofyour job function.

    O i C i ti

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    Overcoming Communication

    Barriers in Organizations

    The following communication barriers in organizations and ways toovercome them-

    Information Overload. Too much information is as bad as too little because it reduces the

    audiences ability to concentrate effectively on the most important

    messages. People facing information overload sometimes try to cope byignoring some of the messages, by delaying responses to messages theydeem unimportant, by answering only parts of some messages, byresponding inaccurately to certain messages, by taking less time with eachmessage, or by reacting only superficially to all messages.

    To overcome information overload, realize that some information is notnecessary, and make necessary information easily available. Giveinformation meaning rather than just passing it on, and set priorities fordealing with the information flow. Some information isn't necessary.

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    Message Complexity. When formulating business messages, you communicate

    both as an individual and as representative of an

    organization. Thus you must adjust your own ideas andstyle so that they are acceptable to your employer. In fact,you may be asked occasionally to write or say somethingthat you disagree with personally.

    Suppose you work as a recruiter for your firm. You've

    interviewed a job candidate you believe would make anexcellent employee, but others in the firm have rejected thisapplicant. Now you have to write a letter turning down thecandidate: You must communicate your firms message,regardless of your personal feelings, a task somecommunicators find difficult.

    To overcome the barriers of complex messages, keep themclear and easy to understand. Use strong organization, guidereaders by telling them what to expect, use concrete andspecific language, and stick to the point. Be sure to ask forfeedback so that you can clarify and improve your message.

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    Message Competition- Communicators are often faced with messages that compete for

    attention. If you're talking on the phone while scanning a report,

    both messages are apt to get short shrift. Even your own messagesmay have to compete with a variety of interruptions: The phonerings every five minutes, people intrude, meetings are called, andcrises arise. In short, your messages rarely have the benefit on thereceivers undivided attention.

    To overcome competition barriers, avoid making demands on a

    receiver who doesn't have the time to pay careful attention to yourmessage. Make written messages visually appealing and easy tounderstand, and try to deliver them when your receiver has time toread them. Oral messages are most effective when you can speakdirectly to your receiver (rather than to intermediaries or answeringmachines). Also, be sure to set aside enough time for important

    messages that you receive. Business messages rarely have thebenefit of the audiences full and undivided attention.

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    Differing Status- Employees of low status may be overly cautious when sending

    messages to managers and may talk only about subjects they think

    the manager is interested in. Similarly, higher-status people maydistort messages by refusing to discuss anything that would tend toundermine their authority in the organization. Moreover, belongingto a particulardepartment or being responsible for a particular taskcan narrow your point of view so that it differs from the attitudes,values, and expectations of people who belong to otherdepartments

    or who are responsible for other tasks. To overcome status barriers, keep managers and colleagues well

    informed. Encourage lower-status employees to keep you informedby being fair-minded and respectful of their opinions. When youhave information that you're afraid you boss might not like, be braveand convey it anyway. Status barriers can be overcome by a

    willingness to give and receive bad news.

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    Lack ofTrust- Building trust is a difficult problem. Other organization

    members don't know whether you'll respond in asupportive or responsible way, so trusting can be risky.Without trust, however, free and open communicationis effectively blocked, threatening the organization'sstability. Just being clear in your communication is not

    enough. To overcome trust barriers, be visible and accessible.Don't insulate yourself behind assistants or secretaries.Share key information with colleagues and employees,communicate honestly, and include employees in

    decision making. For communication to be successful,organizations must create an atmosphere of fairness andtrust.

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    Inadequate Communication Structures- Organizational communication is effected by formal

    restrictions on who may communicate with whomand who is authorized to make decisions. Designingtoo few formal channels blocks effectivecommunication.

    Strongly centralized organizations, especially those

    with a high degree of formalization, reducecommunication capacity, and they decrease thetendency to communicate horizontally thus limitingthe ability to coordinate activities and decisions.

    Tall organizations tend to provide too many verticalcommunication links, so messages become distortedas they move through the organization's levels.