Working with children and their families is both fascinating and rewarding because, to a large extent, it is all about human relationships. Children fl ourish when they feel relaxed with the people who are caring for and educating them. They also need to feel that their parents and other adults around them are comfortable with each other. In some ways, creating the emotional backdrop is as important as any curriculum, play opportunity or theory of development. It requires an understanding of how best to promote positive relationships. This unit explores the importance of relationships and has strong links with SC1 Communication as relationships and communication are closely tied.

Learning outcomesBy the end of this unit you will:

1. Be able to develop positive relationships with children and young people

2. Be able to build positive relationships with people involved in the care of children and young people

Develop positive relationships with children, young people

and others involved in their care

Unit 3.5

Be able to build positive relationships with people involved in the care of children and young peopleChildren do not come through the door alone or by themselves and it is rare that we are the only ones involved in a child’s education and well-being. A child might, for example, be brought into a nursery by a childminder or au pair; or a childminder might fi nd that a reception-aged child will attend school in the morning but come to her in the a� ernoon. Some children with additional needs may also have a range of others involved in their care such as a speech and language therapist or a social worker. This means that we must be able to establish eff ective relationships with a range of people – from children’s immediate families through

Be able to build positive relationships with

Skills Builder

Ask a colleague to � lm you as you work with a child or young person. (Gain permission � rst from your supervisor, parent or appropriate person.)

Use this observation to consider how relaxed you and the child seem.

Think about what you are doing together and whether this activity is working well for both you and the child.

Getting Ready for AssessmentBuilding positive relationships

Write a lea­ et for a new practitioner about how to build positive relationships with children. Your lea­ et should contain information about the following:

• The importance of building positive relationships with children

• How relationships can be built and maintained with children of different ages

• The importance of listening to children. We need to be able to establish effective relationships with a range of people

EYFS in ActionThe EYFS has as a statutory component the requirement for all children to be allocated a key person. A key person is someone who develops a genuine bond with a child, takes additional responsibility for the child’s welfare and works closely with parents.

1. Make a list of ways in which you could tell whether a child and a key person have developed a strong relationship.

2. Observe one of your key children. Consider whether a strong relationship has developed.

2

Level 3 Diploma for the Children and Young People’s Workforce

Children’s needs and interests are identi� ed

Information can be shared quickly between adults

Children are given consistent care

Plans for children’s care and education are more effective

Children’s welfare can be properly monitored

Skills and ideas can be shared

Bene� ts of positive

relationships

Other visitors

Organisational managers and supervisors

Parents/Carers

Colleagues from other agencies and services

Of� cial visitors

External partners

Colleagues

People who may be

involved in the care of a child or

young person

to colleagues and other professionals. The skills that are required to do this are covered in Unit SC1 on communication and also considered in Unit 3.7.

The key to building relationships with other adults is mutual respect and the understanding that although our approaches may vary, everyone involved is working towards the same end: the welfare and education of the child. It is also important to remember that relationships are built on trust and information that is given in confi dence must remain confi dential unless there is an issue about child safety. (See also Unit CYP 3.3.)

The spider diagram below shows some of the people who may be involved in the care of a child or young person.

The importance of positive relationships with other people involved in the care of childrenThe professional and positive relationships we develop will ensure that good communication is possible in order to support the needs of children and their families. Where we do not have strong relationships, there is a danger that information may be passed inaccurately or that it is withheld because we may not be not trusted. This has to be taken seriously as, over the past few years, some child deaths have occurred because people caring for children have not worked properly together. Where parents are concerned, it is essential that we can build positive relationships so that we can work closely together with them to benefi t the child in a variety of ways. This should include settling the child in, sharing developmental information and also learning about children’s interests.

The spider diagram below shows the benefi ts of establishing a good relationship and lines of communication with others who may also have a role in supporting the child.

Over to you

Make a list of the children that you work directly with. Next to each child’s name, see if you can list other people who are important in their lives or in their care.

1. Do you know how to contact them if required?

2. How often do you communicate with them?

3. On a scale of one to fi ve (fi ve being the highest), how well do you know them?

Refl ect on what you could do in order to improve your communication and contacts with them.

3

Unit 3.5 Develop positive relationships

Re� ect

Do you change and feed your key children?

How much physical contact do you have with the babies in your care?

How do you know that they have a strong relationship with you?

Best Practice ChecklistBuilding relationships with children

✓ Allocate each child a key person

✓ Work with parents closely to � nd out about their children’s needs, interests and language

✓ Allow children to familiarise themselves in the setting before expecting them to take part

✓ Make sure children have a suf� ciently strong relationship with their key person in the setting before they separate from their parents or carers

Using everyday routinesRelationships do not just happen. Babies learn about the people they enjoy being with through everyday events, such as nappy changing, feeding and playing. It is therefore good practice for the same person to change the baby’s nappy each day and to take on other physical care tasks. During care routines, the baby needs eye contact, cuddles and plenty of response. These are important times for babies and actually have more eff ect on them than more structured activities such as hand printing.

Building relationships with children aged 1 to 3 yearsLike babies, children under the age of 3 years need to have a strong attachment to one person in the setting. Distress at leaving parents continues until most children are nearly 3 years old and can be avoided only when the child has a settled relationship with an alternative adult. This means that children need a very eff ective key person. To avoid the child becoming distressed, it is good practice that a good relationship is established before the child is le� by the parents. This can be achieved by encouraging parents to come into the setting several times before children are le� , so that children can get to know the person who will be looking a� er them.know the person who will be looking a� er them.Case study

Babies need to form an attachment

Leman is a childminder and looks after three children during the week. The youngest, Damien, is 4 months old. He comes for three mornings a week. Leman has arranged with Damien’s mother for him to come on the mornings when she does not have any other children arriving early. This means that she can focus her attention on him.

1. Why do you think the childminder wants to spend time with Damien on his own?

2. What might be the advantages to Damien?

3. How might Leman be able to build a strong bond with Damien?

Songs, rhymes and repeated actions such as peek-a-boo for older babies are ways in which babies learn about play.

Physical contactThis remains important for the young child. Toddlers, for example, clearly signal when they wish to be picked up by raising their arms; 2-year-olds may want to sit on your lap. Physical contact is important to young children and you need to ensure that when children want to have some physical reassurance, they get it. It could even be argued that depriving young children of physical contact when they seek it is tantamount to emotional neglect. Interestingly, these years are also a time when children can alternate between clinginess and independence. It is not uncommon for a 20-month-old child to want one moment to be carried and the next to be put down on the fl oor. Respecting such wishes is very important. This is one way in which children instinctively learn that they have rights over their bodies.

4

Level 3 Diploma for the Children and Young People’s Workforce

Skills builder

Plan a play opportunity that would help a new child to feel comfortable with their key person and the other key children.

Base the play opportunity on an observed child’s interest or information gained from the child’s parents or carers.

Link the activity to an area of learning within the EYFS.

ResponsivenessChildren of this age also need you to be responsive to them. They may tap you on the back or point out things. It is important that you are able to respond to them with a smile, a cuddle or a gesture as otherwise they soon learn not to bother trying to make contact.

Functional SkillsEnglish: Writing

When you are planning this activity, think about the language you are using, the purpose of this piece of writing, the spellings, punctuation and grammar. Also consider who your audience is going to be and then choose a suitable layout for your plan.

Check your knowledge

1. Explain why positive relationships are essential.

2. Give examples of ways that practitioners can build relationships with a toddler.

3. Give examples of ways that practitioners might build a relationship with a young person.

4. Explain the factors involved in building positive relationships with children and young people.

5. Explain why it is essential for practitioners to keep their promises to children.

6. Identify people who may be involved with the care of children.

7. Explain why positive relationships are important with parents.

8. Give examples of how positive relationships with parents may be established.

Between 3 and 6 yrs, children are becoming more aware of other children

Building relationships with children aged 3 to 6 yearsFrom around the age of 3 years, children o� en become more confi dent about being with people they do not know so well. This can vary according to individual children’s experiences, but, on the whole, children fi nd it easier to separate for brief periods from their parents. Children in this age range are also becoming more aware of other children and gain pleasure from playing with them.

5

Unit 3.5 Develop positive relationships

❶My Story

Key person to Ayse

I have been working as a childminder for four years. Ayse came to me when she was just over a year. It took her a week of popping in with her

mother and spending some time with me before she became comfortable and her mother could leave. I tend to suggest to parents that they allow enough time for settling in because it takes a while to build up a relationship with young children, especially toddlers. Once children enjoy being with you and feel safe, it’s usually easy for them to wave goodbye to their parents and get on with playing. What’s interesting in this job is that each child is diff erent and that the more you put in, the more rewarding it is.

Q What happens if a child’s key persongoes on holiday or is sick?

A The idea is that all children will be comfortable with the adults in the setting, but one adult in particular is ‘theirs’. When an absence

is planned, it would be advisable for another adult to start spending more time with the child.

Q There is one child in my settingthat no one likes!

A While some children are harder to connect with than others, using the child’s personality as a reason for not forming a

relationship is unprofessional. The statutory guidance in respect of the key person makes it clear that it is the responsibility of the adult to develop a relationship with the child, not the other way around. Aim to spend more time playing with the child, following the child’s interests and smiling more. Sometimes diffi culty in communication or forming a relationship can mean that there is an underlying cause that needs to be identifi ed.

Q We have a four-year-old who is hard to understand. At what age should a child speak clearly?

A Most children should be speaking fairly clearly at three years old, even if though they may not be forming

complex sentences. Children whose speech is unclear at four may need additional support. They may not be hearing clearly or may need some work on producing speech sounds. Talk to the parents about referring the child on.

Ask The Expert ...

Working

Life

Clip 9, Nurturing babies and children

under 4 Look at the children as they come into the

setting.

● Why is it important that each child has a key person?

● How can you tell that the key person has a good relationship with their key child?

● Why is important that key persons are available to meet and greet children as they come in?

Video Corner

The idea is that all children will be comfortable with the adults in the setting, but one adult in particular is ‘theirs’. When an absence

is planned, it would be advisable for another adult to start spending

While some children are harder to connect with than others,

relationship is unprofessional. The statutory guidance in respect of the key person makes it clear that it is the responsibility of the

around. Aim to spend more time playing with the child, following

communication or forming a relationship can mean that there is

meet and greet children as they come in?