Download - Compassion, Resilience & the Persistence of Integrity...Self-Actualization * Self- Transcendence. MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby ... Let go of stress. MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby

MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby

Compassion, Resilience & the

Persistence of Integrity


I. Compassion and Resilience


WELCOME BACK!


A few Weeks Later...


What DO I need to feel successful?


H f N


H f N

1. Basic2.Safety

3. Social

4. Esteem

5. Self-Actualization

* Self- Transcendence


Basic Needs


Let go of stress


Low Impact Debriefing (LID) Decreasing Stress we Carry

1. Increased Self Awareness ~Limit Shock and Awe ~Omit Gory details

2. Fair warning ~Foreshadow

3. Consent and the debrief ~ “Is this a good time?”

4. Limited Disclosure ~Outer details first, core trauma last


Compassion Fatigue (CF)

The overwhelming emotional and physical exhaustion, inability to re-energize.

Sufferers start seeing changes in our personal and professional lives; we may

contribute to a toxic environment and become short-tempered with our loved ones.


Compassion Fatigue (CF)

“Compassion Fatigue is a disorder that

affects those who

do their work well.” Charles Figley

“An occupational hazard”.


Vicarious Traumatization

The profound shift in worldview due to the repetition of traumatic stories and images.

This cumulative process affects us with the most difficult and horrific stories altering the way we see the world.

Laurie Anne Pearlman and Karen Saakvitne


Primary Trauma

Direct exposure to

trauma.

Secondary Trauma

Second-handexposure.


BURN OUT


Compassion Fatigue induces….Cynisim and Apathy


Posttraumatic Embitterment DisorderFollowing a single negative life event that continues to cause prolonged bitterness, anger, feelings of injustice and distrust for extended periods of time.

-Michael Linden

Note the hazard risk for some of us to get locked into a pattern of obsessing about wrongs done to us.


Perceptions of Stress

Every larger system has an obligation to the people who make it work, as well as to the people it serves.

At the same time, each of us must recognize that we have a role to play in shaping the organizations and social systems we participate in.

-Laura van Dernoot Lipsky


Letting go of Stress ● Define your pain, understand its source● Express it, slime-free.● Stay in the present, don’t relive the stress● Stop re-telling the story● Forgive yourself● Stop playing the blame/victim game● Don’t let the pain be your identity● Reconnect with who you were before the stress● Focus on things that bring you joy in the moment● Share that joy with other people


Workplace Obstacles

● Insufficient time to recover

● Frequent trauma exposure


How to Make Stress Your Friend

Kelly McGonigal

https://www.ted.com/speakers/kelly_mcgonigal


Where can you improve to be at the top of your game?

Nature of Helper~Social life fulfilling~Time for self~Healthy coping strategies~Aware of own history

Nature of the Work~Control over sched.~Satisfied with sched.~Healthy workplace~Feel supported~Colleague support~Helpful supervisor

Nature of the Clientele~Work fulfilling~See student progress~Well suited for task~Balance in workday~Students satisfied

Saakvitne, K.W., Pearlman, L.A., & Staff of Traumatic Stress Institute


Priorities Conceptualized

One study sights many parents spend less than seven minutes daily talking with their children. Others suggest less than one hour...


What can you Control?

★ Organize Your Schedule

★ Gain Insight on WHAT is Draining your

Energy


Be IntentionalCreate time between

events and reactions using breathing or a 90 second moment.

Time creates opportunity for

intentional responses

Free Mindfulness Center for Health Minds, UW-Madison

http://www.freemindfulness.org/home

https://centerhealthyminds.org/


Mindfulness... Why?BE in the present…

Decrease the creation of ADHD symptoms.

How Much of your “inner dialogue” is in the past or future?

Ten Ways to Have a Great Conversation

https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4?t=2m58s

https://youtu.be/R1vskiVDwl4?t=2m58s


Self Care??????????

Sleep, rest, proper diet, exercise, vacationsRenewal: Activities that replenish youWorking hoursNourishing activities every dayAccess to a regular debriefing process

Be Intentional

Sleep, Rest, Healthy Diet, Exercise, Vacations,Renew, Replenish & Nourish You

Action Steps

Access to a regular

debriefing process

Slime-FREE Community


II. The Persistance of Integrity


Be Intentional

★ Learn to say no or yes more often

★ Listen to your critical voice

★ Appreciations


Stay focused

Beware of the “must be nice…”

“Must be nice to have that kind of time.”“Must be nice to have that kind of help.”“Yeah, right. Like that is realistic in my life.”


Stress Removal Using Conversation TechniquesFind solutions that represents OUR WAY.

Move from the “I wish I would have said…” or “I meant to say…” or “I wish I didn’t get so emotional.”


Collective Conversation

Mutual Purpose

As people perceive that others don’t respect them, the conversation immediately becomes unsafe and dialogue comes to a screaching halt.

Respect is like air. As long as it is present, nobody thinks about it.


Conversation Techniques

Addressing Risky Issues

DialogueFree flowing meaning between people

A. Begin with a focused mind




B. Keep it Safe




C. Notice when safety is at-risk


Creating a Story “So it is…”


Focus Forward

in the Present


Refrain from…...

Silence ViolenceWithdrawing Aggressive, Attacking WordsMasking LabelingAvoiding Controlling


Collective Conversation

When conversational mistakes are made….

Apologize when Appropriate

Contrast Technique Critique Colleague Example

The Don’t Want: “The last thing I want to do is to devalue your work….”The Do Want: “I think your work has been great.”


Self-Efficacy

Believe in the power in your own creative

ability


Seek Out a Peer Partner


Finding Joy


Learning to Fly


What is my current capacity

individually vs.

collectively?


Emotional Capacity


Mid-Year Capacity?


Free-Falling


Safe Journey Together


Integrity Through Collective CHANGE


The Whole is Greater than it’s Parts


ReflectThink of a person who inspired you to take chances, risks and be your best?

You felt seen by them and connected


Character...

Means putting the greater good of the organization and society ahead of self-interest. It’s about worrying about “what is right” rather than “who is right.”

-Noel Tichy & warren Bennis


Be Humble Enough to See Beyond Ourselves

See the strength and capacity of others

Envision change in others versus reacting to negative views

Positive Perspectives Do we believe in the growth process for others? Or inwardly focused to self-protect, advance ourself?

Do we set high expecations for our leaders and peers and quickly get disillusioned by their failure but seldom hold the same expectation for our own need for deep change?

Truthful Perspectives Do we think and act in ways that offer persistance for others?


Exploring the Outward MindsetNo need to blame others.No need to add resentment and pain.

We are extremely convinced that how we think and feel about others is caused by them, by what they have or have not done and how inconsiderate or judgemental they have been.

However, see people the way we see them because of ourselves.

The Outward Mindset


Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.

Voltaire


Hooked to see beyond ME

Our Collective, Authentic Values


Outward Mindset

S.A.M

See Others

Adjust Efforts

Measure Impact

Acknowledge failures and be the first to find a new solution.


ME

Administration

Guardians

Students

Report Cards

Documentation

Collegues

Needs ObjectivesChallenges



Needs ObjectivesChallengesOutward Mindset

S.A.M.


Collective Impact Using Outward Mindset

We need everyone to succeed

Trust your Group and Plan

Actively Build Relationship

Be Humble

Committ to value all players

Empower people with emotional connections


#Listenandcare


Expert Irrigation Plan: Where can “I” grow collective integrity.What are first steps?What self-imposed barriers do you need to conquer?

Who can you speak to to support this growth?


Integrity through Deep Change

Change the world by starting with ME

Change your inner story of who we are in terms of what we can share with others versus what others have done to us.

Look to build energy Trust in your vision and persepectiveSee the potential to grow as a groupListen for ways to continue to dialogue


It takes courage and committment to walk the talk

and passion to serve the world around you.


Persistance

Awareness without committment and practice

Is LEADERSHIP in adolescence.Renee Garpestad


There is but one cause for human failure and that is a lack of faith in your true self.

Wiliam James


Thank YOU

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

Zig Ziglar


ResourcesChard, P. Out of My Mind, LLC www.philipchard.com

Headlee, Celeste. March 2016. 10 ways to have a better conversation. Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1vskiVDwl4

Mathieu, F. 2012. The compassion fatigue workbook: creative tools for transforming compassion fatigue and vicarious traumatization. 2012. Routledge. New York.

Mathieu, F. 2013. Low Impact Debriefing: Preventing Retraumatization. Compassion Fatigue Solutions Inc. http://www.tendacademy.ca

McGonagil, K. June, 2013. How to Make Stress Your Friend. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-216896

http://www.philipchard.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1vskiVDwl4

http://www.tendacademy.ca

https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-216896