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Bouncing BackBrain Care is Self Care

Linda Graham, MFTlinda@lindagraham-mft.netwww.lindagraham-mft.net415-924-7765Human Brain:Evolutionary Masterpiece100 billion neuronsEach neuron contains the entire human genomeNeurons fire hundreds of time per secondNeurons connect to 5,000-7,000 other neuronsTrillions of synaptic connectionsAs many connections in single cubic centimeter of brain tissue as stars in Milky Way galaxyPractices as ResourcesYoga, meditation, tai chi, chi gongSleepNutritionMovement-ExerciseLaughterLearn Something NewHanging Out with Healthy BrainsSleepHousekeepingReset nervous systemConsolidate learning

Take mental breaksTake Mental BreaksFocus on something else (positive is good)

Talk to someone else (resonant is good)

Move-walk somewhere else (nature is good)

Every 90 minutes; avoid adrenal fatigue

NutritionLess CaffeineLess SugarMore ProteinMore Water

Movement - ExerciseOxygen brain is 2% of body weight, uses 20% of bodys oxygenEndorphins feel good hormones, brighten the mindBrain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) - grow new brain cells, will migrate to where neededLaughterIncreases oxygen and blood flow, reduces risk of heart disease and strokeReleases endorphins bodys natural pain killerReduces stress hormone cortisol, lowers blood pressureTriggers catecholamines, heightens alertness in brainReleases tension in body, balances nervous systemLearn Something NewSpeak a foreign languagePlay a musical instrumentJugglePlay chessCrossword puzzles when you dont know the wordsHanging Out with Healthy BrainsBrain is social organ; matures and learns best in interactions with other brainsSocial engagement regulates nervous systemResonant interactions prime the brains neuroplasticity; promotes learning and growth6 Cs of CopingCalmCompassionClarityConnections to ResourcesCompetenceCourageFly videoTouchHand on heart, hand on cheekHead rubs, foot rubsMassage back of neckHold thumb as inner childHugs 20 second full bodiedCalm through the BodyHand on the HeartBody ScanProgressive Muscle RelaxationMovement OppositePower PosingSelf-CompassionPowerful and immediate antidote to self-criticism, self-loathingMore effective in restoring well-being than self-esteemPractice not to feel better but because we feel badTreat ourselves with care and understanding rather than harsh judgmentPutting own oxygen mask on first when other people are not aroundCompassion leads to calm leads to clarityEmotional support needed for change and growthSelf-Compassion - ResearchNormalize vulnerability as part of human conditionNot weak or selfish; powerful motivator out of care and wishes for well-beingLess anxiety, depression, stress, rumination, shame, fear of failureGreater responsibility for past mistakesMore self-confidence and resilienceCompassion for Others - SelfRemember moment of receiving compassion and care from anotherRemember moment of offering compassion and care to anotherEvoke felt sense of sending/receiving compassion in your bodyWhen flow of compassion open heart - is steadyPlace yourself in flow of compassion, care, concern; send compassion to your selfOne for Me; One for YouBreathing in, nourishing, nourishingBreathing out, soothing, soothingIn imagination, nourishing for me, nourishing for you, soothing for me, soothing for youOne for me, one for youPractice breathing one for me, one for you when in conversation with someone

Mindfulness Comes to the WestMindful schoolsMindfulness Based Stress ReductionBusiness 2014 World Economic ForumGovernment Tim Ryan in CongressMilitary post-traumatic stressSports peak performanceCover of Time magazine, February 3, 2014MindfulnessPause, become presentNotice and nameStep back, dis-entangle, reflectCatch the moment; make a choiceShift perspectives; shift statesDiscern optionsChoose wisely let go of unwholesome, cultivate wholesomeNotice and NameIncreasingly complex objects of awareness:Sensations as sensationsEmotions as emotionsCascades of emotions as cascadesThoughts as thoughtsPatterns of thoughts as patterns States of mind as states of mindIdentities, belief systems as identities andMental contents, patterns of neural firingAwareness itself vast sky that storms pass through

Anything is a Cue to PracticeNotice any moment of contractionUse contraction as cue to:Step back, come to centerUse practice to come to equilibriumDiscern options, choose wiselyConnections to ResourcesPeople Love guards the heart from the abyss. - MozartPlaces I rest in the grace of the world. BerryPractices As an irrigator guides water to his field, as an archer aims an arrow, as a carpenter carves wood, the wise shape their lives. - Buddha

Positive Emotions-BehaviorsBrain hard-wired to notice and remember negative and intense more than positive and subtle; how we survive as individuals and as a speciesLeads to tendency to avoid experiencePositive emotions activate left shift, brain is more open to approaching experience, learning, and actionGratitude2-minute free writeGratitude journalGratitude buddyCarry love and appreciation in your walletTake in the GoodNotice: in the moment or in memoryEnrich: the intensity, duration, novelty, personal relevance, multi-modalityAbsorb: savor 10-20-30 seconds, felt sense in bodyCircle of SupportCall to mind people who have been supportive of you; who have had your backCurrently, in the past, in imaginationImagine them gathered around you, or behind you, lending you their faith in you, and their strengths in copingImagine your circle of support present with you as you face difficult people or situationsPositivity PortfolioAsk 10 friends to send cards or e-mails expressing appreciation of youAssemble phrases on piece of paperTape to bathroom mirror or computer monitor, carry in wallet or purseRead phrases 3 times a day for 30 daysSavor and appreciateTrue Other to the True SelfThe roots of resilience are to be found in the felt sense of being held in the mind and heart of an empathic, attuned, and self-possessed other.- Diana Fosha, PhD

To see and be seen: that is the questions, and that is the answer.- Ken Benau, PhDSeeing Ourselves as Others See UsImagine sitting across from someone who loves you unconditionallyImagine switching places with them; see yourself as they see you; feel why they love you and delight in you; take in the goodImagine being yourself again; taking in the love and affection coming to you; savor and absorb.Shame De-Rails ResilienceShame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.Shame erodes the part of ourselves that believes we are capable of change. We cannot change and grow when we are in shame, and we cant use shame to change ourselves or others.- Brene Brown, PhDReconditioningAnchor in present moment awarenessResource with acceptance and goodnessStart with small negative memoryLight up the networksEvoke positive memory that contradicts or disconfirmsSimultaneous dual awareness (or toggle)Refresh and strengthen positiveLet go of negativeRest in, savor positiveReflect on shifts in perspectiveWished for OutcomeEvoke memory of what did happenImagine new behaviors, new players, new resolutionHold new outcome in awareness, strengthening and refreshingNotice shift in perspective of experience, of selfRelational IntelligenceSetting limits and boundariesNegotiating changeResolving conflictsRepairing rupturesForgiveness Find the Gift in the MistakeRegrettable Moment Teachable MomentWhats Right with this Wrong?Whats the Lesson?Whats the Cue to Act Differently?Find the Gift in the MistakeCoherent NarrativeThis is what happened.This is what I did.This has been the cost.This is what I learned.This is what I would do differently going forward.CourageA ship is safe in harbor, but thats not what ships are for.- Grace Hopper

Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone.Otherwise, it would be called sure thing-taking- Tim McMahonDo One Scary Thing a DayVenture into New or UnknownSomatic marker of Uh, ohDopamine disruptedCross threshold into newSatisfaction, masteryDopamine restoredMastering the art of resilience does much more than restore you to who you once thought you were. Rather, you emerge from the experience transformed into a truer expression of who you were really meant to be. - Carol OrsbornBouncing BackBrain Care is Self Care

Linda Graham, MFTlinda@lindagraham-mft.netwww.lindagraham-mft.net415-924-7765