5
CONTENTS
The Wabi Sabi
Of Love Letters
13
How It All Began
15
The Blossoming of Young Love
23
Defying Geography
25
A TIMELESS LOVE
51
With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed
61
Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing
64
Treasuring Time
69
Forever in Bloom
85A private collection
5
CONTENTS
The Wabi Sabi
Of Love Letters
13
How It All Began
15
The Blossoming of Young Love
23
Defying Geography
25
A TIMELESS LOVE
51
With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed
61
Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing
64
Treasuring Time
69
Forever in Bloom
85A private collection
7
That’s the card Brian gave me on June 22, 2008 for our 10th wedding anniversary.
7
That’s the card Brian gave me on June 22, 2008 for our 10th wedding anniversary.
9
Here’s the one I gave him that same year:
Here we are, toasting to our first 10 years as man and wife!
9
Here’s the one I gave him that same year:
Here we are, toasting to our first 10 years as man and wife!
11
Three years later, I gave him this one:
Loving every moment together—13 years and counting!
11
Three years later, I gave him this one:
Loving every moment together—13 years and counting!
Well beyond anniversary cards, from the
beginning, love letters, be they greeting cards,
emails, longhand letters, or notes, have played an
important part in our romance, our love, and our
forever growing relationship and marriage.
My hope, with this eBook, is to give you
insights into how we’ve used love letters to deepen
and enhance our relationship, but also to give you
the tools to use love letters to make your relation-
ship as wabi sabi as it can be.
The Wabi Sabiof Love Letters
Greeting card, courtesy of Persimmon Press, persimmoncards.com
Well beyond anniversary cards, from the
beginning, love letters, be they greeting cards,
emails, longhand letters, or notes, have played an
important part in our romance, our love, and our
forever growing relationship and marriage.
My hope, with this eBook, is to give you
insights into how we’ve used love letters to deepen
and enhance our relationship, but also to give you
the tools to use love letters to make your relation-
ship as wabi sabi as it can be.
The Wabi Sabiof Love Letters
Greeting card, courtesy of Persimmon Press, persimmoncards.com
15
That love letters have played such an important
role in mine and Brian’s romance makes even more
sense when you hear the story of how we met.
How It All Began . . .
It was a Friday morning, in
fact, and I had just gotten
off a plane from San Diego,
my home, to Portland, OR,
where Brian then lived. It
was both love at first sight,
and love at first knowing.
While we had never physi-
cally met before, the mo-
ment we laid eyes on each
other, we felt a deep and
abiding connection that
neither of us could ignore.
It would take just two
months to close those 1,000
miles between us. However
agonizing that distance
seemed to us at the time,
it inspired us to exchange
hundreds of emails, cards
and letters that we have
kept safe and sound for all
these years. Most impor-
tantly, perhaps, those two
months we spent together
(in our hearts and souls)
but apart (in our geogra-
phy), instilled in us both an
ongoing desire to continue
expressing our love, grati-
tude and happiness to each
other, in writing, through
love letters.
Exchanging love letters, in
fact, has become a sacred
practice for us over the
years. The letters in this
book, along with the many
15
That love letters have played such an important
role in mine and Brian’s romance makes even more
sense when you hear the story of how we met.
How It All Began . . .
It was a Friday morning, in
fact, and I had just gotten
off a plane from San Diego,
my home, to Portland, OR,
where Brian then lived. It
was both love at first sight,
and love at first knowing.
While we had never physi-
cally met before, the mo-
ment we laid eyes on each
other, we felt a deep and
abiding connection that
neither of us could ignore.
It would take just two
months to close those 1,000
miles between us. However
agonizing that distance
seemed to us at the time,
it inspired us to exchange
hundreds of emails, cards
and letters that we have
kept safe and sound for all
these years. Most impor-
tantly, perhaps, those two
months we spent together
(in our hearts and souls)
but apart (in our geogra-
phy), instilled in us both an
ongoing desire to continue
expressing our love, grati-
tude and happiness to each
other, in writing, through
love letters.
Exchanging love letters, in
fact, has become a sacred
practice for us over the
years. The letters in this
book, along with the many
17
others not in this book,
have given us a timeless
way to celebrate the mys-
tical, magical, warmly
loving wabi sabi-ness of
our own relationship, and
to reap the rewards of the
love that continues to grow
and blossom each and
every year.
So you can get a sense of
how it all began, I
wanted to share the story
of Brian’s and my first
meeting, as excerpted
from my book,
The Soulmate Secret:
On June 22. 1997· I went
to see Amma, the
hugging saint from India.
I had heard about her
years earlier from Deepak
Chopra, who said to me,
“Amma is the real thing. If
you ever have a chance to
get a hug from her, do it.”
I signed up for this week-
end retreat, knowing that
during this retreat I would
receive at least two hugs. I
had spent the previous year
forgiving myself and oth-
ers for relationships that
hadn’t worked out, I had
made my Soulmate List and
released it to the Universe,
I had unhooked myself
energetically from past lov-
ers, and I truly believed in
my heart that my soulmate
was out there. Now I was
hoping for a little cosmic
power boost to help bring
us together.
On the first evening of the
retreat, I patiently waited
in line for my hug. I was
excited and a little
nervous… I had a plan but
I didn’t know if it would
work. I had been told that
when you receive a hug
from Amma, she may whis-
per or chant into your ear
but you don’t converse with
her, because she doesn’t
speak English. Finally it
was my turn, and while she
was hugging me, I whis-
pered in her ear, “Dear
Amma, please heal my
heart of anything that is
stopping me from finding
my soulmate.” She laughed
as I said this and squeezed
me tighter. I “knew” that
she had understood
my prayer.
That night I had a very
vivid dream. In the dream
there were seven women
dressed in purple, sing-
ing to me. The lyrics of the
song were: “Arielle is the
woman that comes after
Beth.” When I woke up in
the morning, I was con-
vinced it had been a
sign—my soulmate was out
there, but he was currently
with someone named Beth.
The next evening I had an
opportunity for a second
hug from Amma. This time
I whispered in her ear to
please send me my
soulmate, and I rattled off
part of my wish list. Again
she laughed and squeezed
me tight.
Three weeks later I went on
an unexpected
business trip to Portland,
Oregon. One of the
authors I had been
17
others not in this book,
have given us a timeless
way to celebrate the mys-
tical, magical, warmly
loving wabi sabi-ness of
our own relationship, and
to reap the rewards of the
love that continues to grow
and blossom each and
every year.
So you can get a sense of
how it all began, I
wanted to share the story
of Brian’s and my first
meeting, as excerpted
from my book,
The Soulmate Secret:
On June 22. 1997· I went
to see Amma, the
hugging saint from India.
I had heard about her
years earlier from Deepak
Chopra, who said to me,
“Amma is the real thing. If
you ever have a chance to
get a hug from her, do it.”
I signed up for this week-
end retreat, knowing that
during this retreat I would
receive at least two hugs. I
had spent the previous year
forgiving myself and oth-
ers for relationships that
hadn’t worked out, I had
made my Soulmate List and
released it to the Universe,
I had unhooked myself
energetically from past lov-
ers, and I truly believed in
my heart that my soulmate
was out there. Now I was
hoping for a little cosmic
power boost to help bring
us together.
On the first evening of the
retreat, I patiently waited
in line for my hug. I was
excited and a little
nervous… I had a plan but
I didn’t know if it would
work. I had been told that
when you receive a hug
from Amma, she may whis-
per or chant into your ear
but you don’t converse with
her, because she doesn’t
speak English. Finally it
was my turn, and while she
was hugging me, I whis-
pered in her ear, “Dear
Amma, please heal my
heart of anything that is
stopping me from finding
my soulmate.” She laughed
as I said this and squeezed
me tighter. I “knew” that
she had understood
my prayer.
That night I had a very
vivid dream. In the dream
there were seven women
dressed in purple, sing-
ing to me. The lyrics of the
song were: “Arielle is the
woman that comes after
Beth.” When I woke up in
the morning, I was con-
vinced it had been a
sign—my soulmate was out
there, but he was currently
with someone named Beth.
The next evening I had an
opportunity for a second
hug from Amma. This time
I whispered in her ear to
please send me my
soulmate, and I rattled off
part of my wish list. Again
she laughed and squeezed
me tight.
Three weeks later I went on
an unexpected
business trip to Portland,
Oregon. One of the
authors I had been
19
working with, Nick, was
about to be interviewed for
an important TV show. The
taping had been moved
from the studio in L.A. to
Nick’s home in Portland,
and the publisher asked
me to fly up and supervise
the shoot. The call came
late in the afternoon on a
Thursday, and I needed
to be in Portland the fol-
lowing morning. I called
Nick’s office and spoke to
one of his business associ-
ates, Brian, who agreed
to pick me up at the air-
port the following day. He
kindly explained to me that
because the Portland
airport was under
construction, he couldn’t
meet me at the gate, but he
did tell me where I could
find him just outside
the terminal.
On the flight up to
Portland, I was unusually
nervous. At first, I thought
it was because I was in the
middle of a detox diet—
I had been subsisting on
various juice and soup
concoctions for about a
week. However, I would
find out soon enough where
my “nerves” were coming
from. When I landed at the
gate, I followed Brian’s
directions out of the
terminal and quickly found
him. The moment I saw
him, I had the thought, “I
wonder who Beth is?” This
was quickly followed by
the thought, “He’s not your
type and you are a little
crazy today.”
When we arrived at Nick’s
house, the TV crew was
setting up for the interview.
Once they were ready to
begin taping, I sat in the
back of the room on a little
bench next to Brian.
I should have been
concentrating on the
conversation between Nick
and the host of the show,
but I kept getting distract-
ed by an overwhelming
urge to massage Brian’s
shoulders. The urge was
so intense that I literally
had to sit on my hands so
I wouldn’t be tempted! As
I was sitting on that bench
next to Brian, whom I had
met only an hour earlier, I
very clearly heard a voice
say to me, “He’s The One.
This is how it happens.
This is who you are going
to spend your life with.”
By now I was convinced
that I was losing my mind.
I had never heard voices
before, nor had I ever
been compelled to rub a
stranger’s shoulders. What
was going on? When the
interview was complete,
the lights went on and we
stood up. Brian turned to
me and asked, “When I
picked you up at the
airport, did 1 look
familiar to you?” Slightly
taken aback, I answered,
‘’Yes, why do you ask?’’
And he said, “Because I’ve
been dreaming about you.”
I was so blown away by
what he said that I just
turned and began walk-
ing to the door to get some
fresh air. As I was walking
away, I heard Nick say to
Brian, “Let’s take Arielle
to dinner tonight before
she has to catch her plane,
and why don’t you invite
19
working with, Nick, was
about to be interviewed for
an important TV show. The
taping had been moved
from the studio in L.A. to
Nick’s home in Portland,
and the publisher asked
me to fly up and supervise
the shoot. The call came
late in the afternoon on a
Thursday, and I needed
to be in Portland the fol-
lowing morning. I called
Nick’s office and spoke to
one of his business associ-
ates, Brian, who agreed
to pick me up at the air-
port the following day. He
kindly explained to me that
because the Portland
airport was under
construction, he couldn’t
meet me at the gate, but he
did tell me where I could
find him just outside
the terminal.
On the flight up to
Portland, I was unusually
nervous. At first, I thought
it was because I was in the
middle of a detox diet—
I had been subsisting on
various juice and soup
concoctions for about a
week. However, I would
find out soon enough where
my “nerves” were coming
from. When I landed at the
gate, I followed Brian’s
directions out of the
terminal and quickly found
him. The moment I saw
him, I had the thought, “I
wonder who Beth is?” This
was quickly followed by
the thought, “He’s not your
type and you are a little
crazy today.”
When we arrived at Nick’s
house, the TV crew was
setting up for the interview.
Once they were ready to
begin taping, I sat in the
back of the room on a little
bench next to Brian.
I should have been
concentrating on the
conversation between Nick
and the host of the show,
but I kept getting distract-
ed by an overwhelming
urge to massage Brian’s
shoulders. The urge was
so intense that I literally
had to sit on my hands so
I wouldn’t be tempted! As
I was sitting on that bench
next to Brian, whom I had
met only an hour earlier, I
very clearly heard a voice
say to me, “He’s The One.
This is how it happens.
This is who you are going
to spend your life with.”
By now I was convinced
that I was losing my mind.
I had never heard voices
before, nor had I ever
been compelled to rub a
stranger’s shoulders. What
was going on? When the
interview was complete,
the lights went on and we
stood up. Brian turned to
me and asked, “When I
picked you up at the
airport, did 1 look
familiar to you?” Slightly
taken aback, I answered,
‘’Yes, why do you ask?’’
And he said, “Because I’ve
been dreaming about you.”
I was so blown away by
what he said that I just
turned and began walk-
ing to the door to get some
fresh air. As I was walking
away, I heard Nick say to
Brian, “Let’s take Arielle
to dinner tonight before
she has to catch her plane,
and why don’t you invite
21
Elizabeth to join us?’’ As I
reached the lakeside patio to
sit down, I thought, “Great.
So there is a Beth. Not only
a Beth, but an Elizabeth. It
must be his wife.” Then the
voice came back and said
simply, “Don’t worry.
They are just like brother
and sister.”
I didn’t know what any of
this meant. I was excited,
hungry, and more than a
bit confused. Later that day
Brian and I went to dinner
with Nick, his wife, a few
other people—and Elizabeth,
who arrived with a friend. It
was a hot summer evening,
and the restaurant service
couldn’t have been slower.
We ordered our dinner, but it
was taking forever to arrive.
Before my meal was even
served, it was time for me to
go because I had to catch
my flight home. Nick ar-
ranged for my trout dinner
to be put into a to-go box,
and Brian raced down the
freeway to get me to the
airport on time. As we were
driving, I was feeding both
of us my trout dinner and
hearing myself say things
I couldn’t believe were
coming out of my mouth.
Things like, “You know,
I don’t want to have any
children.” To which Brian
responded, “That’s why
Elizabeth and I have bro-
ken up. She wants to get
married and have children,
and I don’t want to.”
Then I heard myself say,
“I’ve been looking for a
tantra partner.” At that
point Brian nearly drove
off the road (I later found
out that he had been
dreaming about me for the
past three weeks, and the night
before he picked me up at the
airport, we were in the tantric
yab-yum position. This is
when a man is sitting cross-
legged and a woman sits on
top of him and wraps her
legs around his back and
they are in full union, all
chakras connected).
We arrived at the airport.
After a quick hug goodbye,
I ran to catch my plane. As I
waited in the terminal, I put in
a call to my Vedic astrologer,
Marc Boney. I briefly told him
about Brian and gave him his
birth info (which I had man-
aged to extract from Brian
before I caught my plane). By
the time I got home, Marc had
left a voice message for me
that said: “I looked up both of
your charts. This is the
clearest indication of a fated
relationship I have ever
seen. I predict you will
marry him.”
One week later both Nick
and Brian came to San Di-
ego for Nick’s book tour.
Brian and I sat in the back of
the room while Nick gave his
lecture, writing notes to each
other like seventh graders!
Things moved very quickly
from there. Brian and I be-
came engaged three weeks
later. Within two months,
he moved to La Jolla to live
with me. Exactly one year to
the date that I asked Amma
to help me find my soulmate
(which was the culmination
of two years of deliberately
applying the Law of Attrac-
tion), she married us in a
Hindu ceremony in front of
thousands of people.
21
Elizabeth to join us?’’ As I
reached the lakeside patio to
sit down, I thought, “Great.
So there is a Beth. Not only
a Beth, but an Elizabeth. It
must be his wife.” Then the
voice came back and said
simply, “Don’t worry.
They are just like brother
and sister.”
I didn’t know what any of
this meant. I was excited,
hungry, and more than a
bit confused. Later that day
Brian and I went to dinner
with Nick, his wife, a few
other people—and Elizabeth,
who arrived with a friend. It
was a hot summer evening,
and the restaurant service
couldn’t have been slower.
We ordered our dinner, but it
was taking forever to arrive.
Before my meal was even
served, it was time for me to
go because I had to catch
my flight home. Nick ar-
ranged for my trout dinner
to be put into a to-go box,
and Brian raced down the
freeway to get me to the
airport on time. As we were
driving, I was feeding both
of us my trout dinner and
hearing myself say things
I couldn’t believe were
coming out of my mouth.
Things like, “You know,
I don’t want to have any
children.” To which Brian
responded, “That’s why
Elizabeth and I have bro-
ken up. She wants to get
married and have children,
and I don’t want to.”
Then I heard myself say,
“I’ve been looking for a
tantra partner.” At that
point Brian nearly drove
off the road (I later found
out that he had been
dreaming about me for the
past three weeks, and the night
before he picked me up at the
airport, we were in the tantric
yab-yum position. This is
when a man is sitting cross-
legged and a woman sits on
top of him and wraps her
legs around his back and
they are in full union, all
chakras connected).
We arrived at the airport.
After a quick hug goodbye,
I ran to catch my plane. As I
waited in the terminal, I put in
a call to my Vedic astrologer,
Marc Boney. I briefly told him
about Brian and gave him his
birth info (which I had man-
aged to extract from Brian
before I caught my plane). By
the time I got home, Marc had
left a voice message for me
that said: “I looked up both of
your charts. This is the
clearest indication of a fated
relationship I have ever
seen. I predict you will
marry him.”
One week later both Nick
and Brian came to San Di-
ego for Nick’s book tour.
Brian and I sat in the back of
the room while Nick gave his
lecture, writing notes to each
other like seventh graders!
Things moved very quickly
from there. Brian and I be-
came engaged three weeks
later. Within two months,
he moved to La Jolla to live
with me. Exactly one year to
the date that I asked Amma
to help me find my soulmate
(which was the culmination
of two years of deliberately
applying the Law of Attrac-
tion), she married us in a
Hindu ceremony in front of
thousands of people.
23
During those two months between our meeting and
Brian’s move to La Jolla, our love letter writing was fast
and furious. The many emails, cards, and notes we
exchanged gave us a way to express our feelings, and
continue deepening our bond in between our many phone
calls and weekends together.
I’ll admit, rereading these letters and emails today, it’s
easy to giggle at the desperate energy of our young love.
Also, though, it’s interesting to see how many of our feel-
ings toward each other, although much deeper after 13+
years together, are still as real as they were during those
first weeks.
That, for us, is one of the gifts of love letters. They give
you and your love a moment to revel in the wabi sabi of
your relationship, and celebrate the affection, adoration,
respect, trust, and lust that first brought you together.
To inspire you to remember how you felt about your
spouse, partner, or special someone when you first met, I
wanted to share some of the many emails and notes Brian
and I exchanged during our first two months together.
The Blossoming of Young Love . . .
23
During those two months between our meeting and
Brian’s move to La Jolla, our love letter writing was fast
and furious. The many emails, cards, and notes we
exchanged gave us a way to express our feelings, and
continue deepening our bond in between our many phone
calls and weekends together.
I’ll admit, rereading these letters and emails today, it’s
easy to giggle at the desperate energy of our young love.
Also, though, it’s interesting to see how many of our feel-
ings toward each other, although much deeper after 13+
years together, are still as real as they were during those
first weeks.
That, for us, is one of the gifts of love letters. They give
you and your love a moment to revel in the wabi sabi of
your relationship, and celebrate the affection, adoration,
respect, trust, and lust that first brought you together.
To inspire you to remember how you felt about your
spouse, partner, or special someone when you first met, I
wanted to share some of the many emails and notes Brian
and I exchanged during our first two months together.
The Blossoming of Young Love . . .
25
The box of our printed emails and cards from this period
is large, so I’ve chosen a mere handful to give you some
ideas about how to make your “lov-emails” into keepsakes
of your own.
DefyingGeography
25
The box of our printed emails and cards from this period
is large, so I’ve chosen a mere handful to give you some
ideas about how to make your “lov-emails” into keepsakes
of your own.
DefyingGeography
27
That trip to Yosemite over Labor Day was our first
together. Although it quickly turned into a wonderful
weekend, I’ll admit that my heart sank the moment we
walked into the cabin I’d rented. It was far more rustic
than I’d hoped, the only bathroom being a nearby
outhouse. Each night, afraid of an unwelcome bear
encounter, I woke Brian up in the wee hours to
accompany me out there. He was a wonderful sport about
it, and we spent three fabulous days hiking and biking
amidst the breathtaking scenery.
27
That trip to Yosemite over Labor Day was our first
together. Although it quickly turned into a wonderful
weekend, I’ll admit that my heart sank the moment we
walked into the cabin I’d rented. It was far more rustic
than I’d hoped, the only bathroom being a nearby
outhouse. Each night, afraid of an unwelcome bear
encounter, I woke Brian up in the wee hours to
accompany me out there. He was a wonderful sport about
it, and we spent three fabulous days hiking and biking
amidst the breathtaking scenery.
29
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51
Our engagement, which began just three weeks after we
first met, was as spontaneous as it was surreal.
It was a hot summer evening, and we were seated on the
outdoor patio of a romantic Italian café in the gaslamp
quarter of San Diego. While reveling in the pleasure of
each other’s company, Brian suddenly blurted out, “I’d
marry you tomorrow if I could. I’d marry you right now,
but I didn’t prepare. I don’t have a ring.” Shocked and elat-
ed, we quickly decided the “Invisible Ring” would mark
our engagement.
Hours later, I was on the phone with my best astrologer
friends, who scoured the charts to find the most
auspicious day for our wedding.
A Timeless Love... Thrilled though I was
about our engagement, in
the weeks after accepting
Brian’s “Invisible Ring,” I
made sure to keep our pre-
cious secret to myself, fear-
ing that friends and family
would think us insane for
committing to a life togeth-
er after three short weeks in
a long-distance relationship.
Looking back, I can see
that I needed more time to
protect our young love, and
nurture it until I was sure it
would last.
Barely six weeks later,
however, Brian gently
forced the issue by asking
me when I was planning
on telling my mother about
our engagement. I hesi-
tated, and quickly admitted
that I was afraid to tell her.
If I told her, I explained,
that would mean the en-
gagement was real. Brian
smiled, and nodded. “Yes,
that’s the whole point,” he
said. “I want to marry you.
I love you with everything
I have and everything I am,
and I want the world to
know it.”
Moments later, I was on
the phone with my mother,
who was not only thrilled
at our news, but also eager
to kick off the celebration
by throwing us an
engagement party.
A month later, the official
festivities began with the
party my mom planned for
us in Orlando. Later that
fall, we hosted an engage-
ment party for our friends
in Los Angeles.
51
Our engagement, which began just three weeks after we
first met, was as spontaneous as it was surreal.
It was a hot summer evening, and we were seated on the
outdoor patio of a romantic Italian café in the gaslamp
quarter of San Diego. While reveling in the pleasure of
each other’s company, Brian suddenly blurted out, “I’d
marry you tomorrow if I could. I’d marry you right now,
but I didn’t prepare. I don’t have a ring.” Shocked and elat-
ed, we quickly decided the “Invisible Ring” would mark
our engagement.
Hours later, I was on the phone with my best astrologer
friends, who scoured the charts to find the most
auspicious day for our wedding.
A Timeless Love... Thrilled though I was
about our engagement, in
the weeks after accepting
Brian’s “Invisible Ring,” I
made sure to keep our pre-
cious secret to myself, fear-
ing that friends and family
would think us insane for
committing to a life togeth-
er after three short weeks in
a long-distance relationship.
Looking back, I can see
that I needed more time to
protect our young love, and
nurture it until I was sure it
would last.
Barely six weeks later,
however, Brian gently
forced the issue by asking
me when I was planning
on telling my mother about
our engagement. I hesi-
tated, and quickly admitted
that I was afraid to tell her.
If I told her, I explained,
that would mean the en-
gagement was real. Brian
smiled, and nodded. “Yes,
that’s the whole point,” he
said. “I want to marry you.
I love you with everything
I have and everything I am,
and I want the world to
know it.”
Moments later, I was on
the phone with my mother,
who was not only thrilled
at our news, but also eager
to kick off the celebration
by throwing us an
engagement party.
A month later, the official
festivities began with the
party my mom planned for
us in Orlando. Later that
fall, we hosted an engage-
ment party for our friends
in Los Angeles.
53
Those parties would turn out to be the start of a long
series of celebrations that would last into, and beyond,
our first (and second!) wedding.
53
Those parties would turn out to be the start of a long
series of celebrations that would last into, and beyond,
our first (and second!) wedding.
55
55
57
57
59
59
61
Brian moved to La Jolla weeks later, and with the help of
my astrologer friends, we set our wedding date for
June 22, 1998. I was both determined to find the ideal
astrological date, and to spend some months living
together to get to know each other before officially
committing to our future together.
By the time our wedding arrived, we were more in love
than ever, and confident that our union was indeed meant
to be. Our June 22nd wedding was breathtakingly
beautiful, and was quickly followed by our “legal”
wedding on August 9th, and then a third wedding with
Amma, the beloved “hugging saint” of India who had
blessed my wishes to find Brian, my beloved soulmate.
Finally, we closed our many months of celebration with a
fabulous post-wedding party that marked the official start
of our life together as man and wife.
With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed....
61
Brian moved to La Jolla weeks later, and with the help of
my astrologer friends, we set our wedding date for
June 22, 1998. I was both determined to find the ideal
astrological date, and to spend some months living
together to get to know each other before officially
committing to our future together.
By the time our wedding arrived, we were more in love
than ever, and confident that our union was indeed meant
to be. Our June 22nd wedding was breathtakingly
beautiful, and was quickly followed by our “legal”
wedding on August 9th, and then a third wedding with
Amma, the beloved “hugging saint” of India who had
blessed my wishes to find Brian, my beloved soulmate.
Finally, we closed our many months of celebration with a
fabulous post-wedding party that marked the official start
of our life together as man and wife.
With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed....
63
63
65
The best love letters are unique to you and yours. For
some couples, poetry is sacred. For others, it’s music,
sports, humor, or certain turns of phrase and special
memories that quickly bring you back to each other, and
remind you of how special your union truly is.
Here are some quick tips for writing love letters that help
you create new memories worth holding onto:
• Alovingmindsetmakesallthedifference. If you’re
annoyed that your partner left her dirty dishes on the
counter, wait until you’re in a loving mood to write
your letter. The loving words you write will ring a lot
truer when you’re actually feeling them.
• Relax,andenjoy! What better chance to bask in the
glow of love than when you’re writing to your
beloved? Feel the warm embrace of your best
memories, your most cherished moments, and relive
them in your mind as you write. That squabble you
had this morning will mean so very little when you let
turn into the vapor it was always meant to be.
Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing...
• Celebratethetiesthatbindyou. Whether it’s pet
names, actual pets, jokes, art, hiking, children, or other,
those little (and big) things in your daily lives that con-
tinue to bring you together matter. Referring to them
in your love letters, whether through images or words,
makes your letters authentic to the only people who
matter—you and yours.
• Byallmeans,ushandgush. If ever there was a time
to let it all spill out and express the true depths of your
feelings, love letters are it. If you feel awkward ex-
pressing yourself so openly, it’s probably high time you
did just that. You, your relationship, and your beloved
all deserve that much—and lots more!
• Makeitimperfect. Let’s face it—perfection is
impersonal. Your poems may not rhyme, your
hand-drawn hearts may be lopsided, but what
matters is that your letters and cards are from the
most special person ever. YOU.
65
The best love letters are unique to you and yours. For
some couples, poetry is sacred. For others, it’s music,
sports, humor, or certain turns of phrase and special
memories that quickly bring you back to each other, and
remind you of how special your union truly is.
Here are some quick tips for writing love letters that help
you create new memories worth holding onto:
• Alovingmindsetmakesallthedifference. If you’re
annoyed that your partner left her dirty dishes on the
counter, wait until you’re in a loving mood to write
your letter. The loving words you write will ring a lot
truer when you’re actually feeling them.
• Relax,andenjoy! What better chance to bask in the
glow of love than when you’re writing to your
beloved? Feel the warm embrace of your best
memories, your most cherished moments, and relive
them in your mind as you write. That squabble you
had this morning will mean so very little when you let
turn into the vapor it was always meant to be.
Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing...
• Celebratethetiesthatbindyou. Whether it’s pet
names, actual pets, jokes, art, hiking, children, or other,
those little (and big) things in your daily lives that con-
tinue to bring you together matter. Referring to them
in your love letters, whether through images or words,
makes your letters authentic to the only people who
matter—you and yours.
• Byallmeans,ushandgush. If ever there was a time
to let it all spill out and express the true depths of your
feelings, love letters are it. If you feel awkward ex-
pressing yourself so openly, it’s probably high time you
did just that. You, your relationship, and your beloved
all deserve that much—and lots more!
• Makeitimperfect. Let’s face it—perfection is
impersonal. Your poems may not rhyme, your
hand-drawn hearts may be lopsided, but what
matters is that your letters and cards are from the
most special person ever. YOU.
67
• Inside your love’s towel.
• Inside a book she’s currently reading.
• Taped behind a cupboard you’re sure he’ll
open.
• Behind her car sun visor.
• On his pillow.
• Inside her shoe.
• Taped to his favorite beverage.
• Underneath a clear glass.
• Hanging on a doorknob.
• Taped on the backside of the TV remote con-
trol.
• In the microwave. (Visible enough so it doesn’t
get cooked!)
• In her wallet or purse.
• Laminated and floating in a bubble bath.
• Very large, taped on an outside window.
• In her suitcase.
• In his coat pocket.
• Attached to his key chain.
• In your mailbox.
• On the ceiling, above your bed.
• In her drawer.
• Inside a favorite CD or DVD case.
• Inside his favorite coffee cup.
• Taped to a bottle of favorite wine.
• Mailed to her office.
• In his slippers.
• Inside the pocket of her robe.
• On top of, or inside the drawer of, his bed-
side table.
• On the coffee machine.
• Sandwiched inside her closed laptop.
• Taped to his steering wheel.
• Nested inside her not-yet-read magazine.
Let your imagination run wild—the options
are endless!
• Leaveitbehind.What’s more fun than being
surprised by a love letter? Here are some suggestions
for “delivering” your letters in surprising ways:
67
• Inside your love’s towel.
• Inside a book she’s currently reading.
• Taped behind a cupboard you’re sure he’ll
open.
• Behind her car sun visor.
• On his pillow.
• Inside her shoe.
• Taped to his favorite beverage.
• Underneath a clear glass.
• Hanging on a doorknob.
• Taped on the backside of the TV remote con-
trol.
• In the microwave. (Visible enough so it doesn’t
get cooked!)
• In her wallet or purse.
• Laminated and floating in a bubble bath.
• Very large, taped on an outside window.
• In her suitcase.
• In his coat pocket.
• Attached to his key chain.
• In your mailbox.
• On the ceiling, above your bed.
• In her drawer.
• Inside a favorite CD or DVD case.
• Inside his favorite coffee cup.
• Taped to a bottle of favorite wine.
• Mailed to her office.
• In his slippers.
• Inside the pocket of her robe.
• On top of, or inside the drawer of, his bed-
side table.
• On the coffee machine.
• Sandwiched inside her closed laptop.
• Taped to his steering wheel.
• Nested inside her not-yet-read magazine.
Let your imagination run wild—the options
are endless!
• Leaveitbehind.What’s more fun than being
surprised by a love letter? Here are some suggestions
for “delivering” your letters in surprising ways:
69
As the years have passed, Brian and I have continued ex-
changing notes and letters, doing everything we can think
of to celebrate the wabi sabi in our own love, and allow
our gratitude for that first meeting to grow bigger with
each new year. Rather than the abandoned dirty laundry
or forgotten errand, we have focused on the support, fun,
laughter, and warmth we have nurtured between us.
To help get you in the mood to revel in the wonder of your
own wabi sabi love, I’m sharing a handful of the many
cards we’ve exchanged since getting married.
Treasuring Time...
69
As the years have passed, Brian and I have continued ex-
changing notes and letters, doing everything we can think
of to celebrate the wabi sabi in our own love, and allow
our gratitude for that first meeting to grow bigger with
each new year. Rather than the abandoned dirty laundry
or forgotten errand, we have focused on the support, fun,
laughter, and warmth we have nurtured between us.
To help get you in the mood to revel in the wonder of your
own wabi sabi love, I’m sharing a handful of the many
cards we’ve exchanged since getting married.
Treasuring Time...
71
Oh My Sweet, My Beloved Valentine
71
Oh My Sweet, My Beloved Valentine
73
Charlie, dearly missed since 2005
73
Charlie, dearly missed since 2005
75
75
77
To You, My Love, On Your Special Day
77
To You, My Love, On Your Special Day
79
79
81
We celebrated Brian’s 50th during a cruise through French Polynesia. This is from our stop at Bora Bora.
81
We celebrated Brian’s 50th during a cruise through French Polynesia. This is from our stop at Bora Bora.
83
One of our most cherished traditions over the years has been the Sunday morning hike we
enjoy with various friends and family. This photo is from one of our most recent hikes.
We love to travel to exotic places, and recently fell in love with the paradise known as Bali.
83
One of our most cherished traditions over the years has been the Sunday morning hike we
enjoy with various friends and family. This photo is from one of our most recent hikes.
We love to travel to exotic places, and recently fell in love with the paradise known as Bali.
85
During a recent vacation, Brian and I spent several long
romantic walks reminiscing on our 13+ years together,
and discussing what’s changed between us, and for us, and
what hasn’t. Those conversations inspired a new love letter
exchange, which I’m sharing here.
More than anything, though, those conversations rein-
forced what he and I have known for our many years
together—in a wabi sabi love relationship, the passage of
time is a gift. When you learn to appreciate, accept, and
occasionally laugh about, each other’s flaws and foibles,
your life together grows bigger, more interesting, and your
love, deeper and more beautifully intricate.
And while you are more than welcome to borrow and
massage the words of our love letters for your own, I hope,
most of all, that our letters help you to revel in the perfect
imperfections of your own relationships, to celebrate the
silliness, bask in the sensuality, and reap the infinite
rewards of wabi sabi love!
Forever in Bloom..
Dear Brian,
July 18, 1997 was the day my life changed forever.
I remember waking up that morning with butterflies in my stomach…even though I
was about to take a short business trip to Portland, my body new something was up!
The plan was simple: I was going to see one of my authors, Nick, to supervise a video
shoot. Nick’s business partner, some guy named Brian, (look for a tall man with salt
& pepper hair in a silver car), would pick me up at the airport.
In 24 hours I would be home.
What was there to be nervous about???
I remember walking out of the airport and seeing you standing next to your car.
In that instant I knew you were someone special.
Within hours, I was sure we were meant to be together.
My earliest impressions of you were: he’s very kind, handsome, strong, confident, and
sexy!
Today, nearly 15 years later, all of those impressions are still true only now I know
with 100% certainty that you are also deeply loving, generous, fascinating, fun, funny,
intuitive, massively athletic, super smart, courageous, compassionate, consistent,
loyal, selfless, spiritual and so much more. Your open heart, love of humanity and
curious mind make you the most interesting person I’ve ever met.
85
During a recent vacation, Brian and I spent several long
romantic walks reminiscing on our 13+ years together,
and discussing what’s changed between us, and for us, and
what hasn’t. Those conversations inspired a new love letter
exchange, which I’m sharing here.
More than anything, though, those conversations rein-
forced what he and I have known for our many years
together—in a wabi sabi love relationship, the passage of
time is a gift. When you learn to appreciate, accept, and
occasionally laugh about, each other’s flaws and foibles,
your life together grows bigger, more interesting, and your
love, deeper and more beautifully intricate.
And while you are more than welcome to borrow and
massage the words of our love letters for your own, I hope,
most of all, that our letters help you to revel in the perfect
imperfections of your own relationships, to celebrate the
silliness, bask in the sensuality, and reap the infinite
rewards of wabi sabi love!
Forever in Bloom..
Dear Brian,
July 18, 1997 was the day my life changed forever.
I remember waking up that morning with butterflies in my stomach…even though I
was about to take a short business trip to Portland, my body new something was up!
The plan was simple: I was going to see one of my authors, Nick, to supervise a video
shoot. Nick’s business partner, some guy named Brian, (look for a tall man with salt
& pepper hair in a silver car), would pick me up at the airport.
In 24 hours I would be home.
What was there to be nervous about???
I remember walking out of the airport and seeing you standing next to your car.
In that instant I knew you were someone special.
Within hours, I was sure we were meant to be together.
My earliest impressions of you were: he’s very kind, handsome, strong, confident, and
sexy!
Today, nearly 15 years later, all of those impressions are still true only now I know
with 100% certainty that you are also deeply loving, generous, fascinating, fun, funny,
intuitive, massively athletic, super smart, courageous, compassionate, consistent,
loyal, selfless, spiritual and so much more. Your open heart, love of humanity and
curious mind make you the most interesting person I’ve ever met.
87
Everyday with you is a fabulous adventure and I feel so grateful to share my life
with you.
You are my soulmate.
My twin-flame.
My best friend, lover, partner, healer and teacher.
You have taught me the meaning of love and loving.
You have shown me what true partnership is.
You have healed my spirit and soul at the deepest level.
And you have taught me, by example, how to be a more loving, kind,
compassionate and generous person.
You are my down comforter, my safe place to land, my biggest supporter and my
greatest ally.
With you I have the daily experience of being loved, being seen, being heard, being
appreciated, and being connected in ways that I never dreamed possible. I am
a better, bigger, ME, because of YOU.
My deepest prayer is that I can make you as happy as you have made me.
Love always,
Arielle
WOW!!
Thank YOU my Beloved Arielle for this precious Love Letter—just one more expres-
sion of LOVE from YOU that will be etched in my heart forever!!
And I do, too, remember that first magical encounter at the Airport (as if it was yes-
terday) when you came through the revolving glass doors—YOU absolutely took my
breath away and my heartbeat immediately began to tap dance on my Soul. This feel-
ing quickly but effortlessly moved to an exquisite Ballet that began to generate a beau-
tiful and nourishing rhythm that seemed to lift my spirit to the Cosmos and beyond,
A primordial pulse, a feeling and inner sound that seemed like it was an Orchestra-
tion from the Heavens—and then a soothing and comforting inner voice whispered in
my ear…You are HOME Brian…..this is the beautiful woman you’ve been dreaming
about…your Soulmate!!
And now, 15 years later and breathing in this juicy love letter, I have that same instant
blasting open of my heart and that nurturing and deep feeling of gratitude and appre-
ciation for YOU and the remembering that my HOME is the 24/7 love and devotion
for our sacred union. In fact the thought that comes over me at this very moment is I’m
a little off with our 1+ 1= 11 Soulmate Formula…..Our LOVE actually FEELS like its
expanded to 1 + 1= A MILLION GAZILLION + INFINITY!!!!
My LOVE for you keeps expanding, growing and getting infinitely richer and more
delicious every day…absolutely GROOVY-LICIOUS indeed Arielle!! And we’ve been
87
Everyday with you is a fabulous adventure and I feel so grateful to share my life
with you.
You are my soulmate.
My twin-flame.
My best friend, lover, partner, healer and teacher.
You have taught me the meaning of love and loving.
You have shown me what true partnership is.
You have healed my spirit and soul at the deepest level.
And you have taught me, by example, how to be a more loving, kind,
compassionate and generous person.
You are my down comforter, my safe place to land, my biggest supporter and my
greatest ally.
With you I have the daily experience of being loved, being seen, being heard, being
appreciated, and being connected in ways that I never dreamed possible. I am
a better, bigger, ME, because of YOU.
My deepest prayer is that I can make you as happy as you have made me.
Love always,
Arielle
WOW!!
Thank YOU my Beloved Arielle for this precious Love Letter—just one more expres-
sion of LOVE from YOU that will be etched in my heart forever!!
And I do, too, remember that first magical encounter at the Airport (as if it was yes-
terday) when you came through the revolving glass doors—YOU absolutely took my
breath away and my heartbeat immediately began to tap dance on my Soul. This feel-
ing quickly but effortlessly moved to an exquisite Ballet that began to generate a beau-
tiful and nourishing rhythm that seemed to lift my spirit to the Cosmos and beyond,
A primordial pulse, a feeling and inner sound that seemed like it was an Orchestra-
tion from the Heavens—and then a soothing and comforting inner voice whispered in
my ear…You are HOME Brian…..this is the beautiful woman you’ve been dreaming
about…your Soulmate!!
And now, 15 years later and breathing in this juicy love letter, I have that same instant
blasting open of my heart and that nurturing and deep feeling of gratitude and appre-
ciation for YOU and the remembering that my HOME is the 24/7 love and devotion
for our sacred union. In fact the thought that comes over me at this very moment is I’m
a little off with our 1+ 1= 11 Soulmate Formula…..Our LOVE actually FEELS like its
expanded to 1 + 1= A MILLION GAZILLION + INFINITY!!!!
My LOVE for you keeps expanding, growing and getting infinitely richer and more
delicious every day…absolutely GROOVY-LICIOUS indeed Arielle!! And we’ve been
89
SO blessed with generating all sorts of fun and creative ways to play and work togeth-
er-- -which seems like it spans lifetimes filled with unlimited joy and unfettered won-
der. We’ve truly been fortunate to explore and travel the World side by side, and to
this very day, we continue to experience the beauty and grace of other cultures, distant
and exotic countries and STILL have the constant desire (and Love for each other) to
just sit on a beach holding hands, “smootching” as often as possible and gazing at the
Stars and beyond dreaming up new adventures and interesting and cool ventures that
hopefully make a difference in the World—cheers my love!!…And most definitely for
ME Arielle today I still live each second with THE SAME INTOXICATING FEELING
of excitement and curiosity, that same heart and Soul recognition, that same “Tap
Dance” and “Ballet” and gorgeous and heavenly music that lifted my spirits when I
laid my eyes on YOU and started this divine conspiracy of 2 people finding their way
HOME almost 16 years ago—Double WOW!!
And Arielle, please allow me to lovingly remind YOU that all your prayers have been
met because you’ve made me the happiest guy on the Planet. It is SO easy to “smile in
my sleep” cuddling up to YOU every night. My cup overflows with love, inspiration,
respect, admiration and devotion for YOU and our continued journey that we’ll share
exploring our Soulmate connection, our sacred contract and ALL the incredible and
amazing FUN we’re going to dream up together…Wooo-Hooo!!.
In fact I will end my LOVE LETTER to YOU with 2 promises my love…the vow I made
on our Wedding Day will continue forever and live deeper in my heart today and the
years to come…Each night before we fall asleep I will acknowledge my love for YOU
and each morning when we awake for another beautiful day of honor and privilege
for the gift granted the two of us for the opportunity to share a magical life filled with
LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and ROMANCE.
And that “soft place” for YOU always to land that I promised will continue to only get
bigger, brighter, warmer, more comfy, more nurturing and nourishing to your soul
and fill your heart with the trust that “this soft place to land” will always be there no
matter what you are experiencing, feeling or going through…most importantly this
“soft place” will be there for YOU to always remember and feel secure that you are
unconditionally loved by the luckiest guy in the World… And that I will always do my
best to express that LOVE in a MILLION GAZILLION ways!!!!!!
Your Best Friend, Twin Flame and Lover who sends you everlasting hugs, love and
kisses for making my life so wildly blissful and joyfully meaningful….
bri bri
89
SO blessed with generating all sorts of fun and creative ways to play and work togeth-
er-- -which seems like it spans lifetimes filled with unlimited joy and unfettered won-
der. We’ve truly been fortunate to explore and travel the World side by side, and to
this very day, we continue to experience the beauty and grace of other cultures, distant
and exotic countries and STILL have the constant desire (and Love for each other) to
just sit on a beach holding hands, “smootching” as often as possible and gazing at the
Stars and beyond dreaming up new adventures and interesting and cool ventures that
hopefully make a difference in the World—cheers my love!!…And most definitely for
ME Arielle today I still live each second with THE SAME INTOXICATING FEELING
of excitement and curiosity, that same heart and Soul recognition, that same “Tap
Dance” and “Ballet” and gorgeous and heavenly music that lifted my spirits when I
laid my eyes on YOU and started this divine conspiracy of 2 people finding their way
HOME almost 16 years ago—Double WOW!!
And Arielle, please allow me to lovingly remind YOU that all your prayers have been
met because you’ve made me the happiest guy on the Planet. It is SO easy to “smile in
my sleep” cuddling up to YOU every night. My cup overflows with love, inspiration,
respect, admiration and devotion for YOU and our continued journey that we’ll share
exploring our Soulmate connection, our sacred contract and ALL the incredible and
amazing FUN we’re going to dream up together…Wooo-Hooo!!.
In fact I will end my LOVE LETTER to YOU with 2 promises my love…the vow I made
on our Wedding Day will continue forever and live deeper in my heart today and the
years to come…Each night before we fall asleep I will acknowledge my love for YOU
and each morning when we awake for another beautiful day of honor and privilege
for the gift granted the two of us for the opportunity to share a magical life filled with
LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and ROMANCE.
And that “soft place” for YOU always to land that I promised will continue to only get
bigger, brighter, warmer, more comfy, more nurturing and nourishing to your soul
and fill your heart with the trust that “this soft place to land” will always be there no
matter what you are experiencing, feeling or going through…most importantly this
“soft place” will be there for YOU to always remember and feel secure that you are
unconditionally loved by the luckiest guy in the World… And that I will always do my
best to express that LOVE in a MILLION GAZILLION ways!!!!!!
Your Best Friend, Twin Flame and Lover who sends you everlasting hugs, love and
kisses for making my life so wildly blissful and joyfully meaningful….
bri bri
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