Keeping our kids safe.

Presented by Sheryl Cohen

Africa

Keeping our kids safe

•How to handle living in South Africa

Anxiety and fear

•Normal anxiety•Fear vs. Fantasy•Behaviors

Response to anxiety

•Fight or flight•Physical symptoms•Denial•Anger•Freeze•Sadness•irritability

Response to fear

•Cognitive errors•Rituals (helpful and unhelpful)

•Talk about them•Future V Present•What if thinking

Safety

•@ home•@ play•On the way …

A constructive approach

Knowledge is empowering Reassurance doesn’t reassure Responsible exposure Helpful behavioral habits Creative containment

@ home

Help your children to know!

› Have the chat!› Stranger danger› Flight, Fright, Freeze

@ home

Once the news is out … show them what to do!

› Prepare› Practice› Role play› Remind› Empower

@ home

Develop ‘’WE BELIEVE’’ family statements

We believe that we are safe unless otherwise indicated

We believe that nothing bad happened to us yesterday so the chances are nothing bad will happen today

We believe in our inner voice to tell us if we feel safe or if we don’t

@ home

Creative containment of difficult feelings

› Worry wart› Dream catcher› Sharing worries› Drawing worries/badies and burning them› Normalize worries › Share your own childhood experiences

@ play

Know: where, when, who, how, what …

Create ‘’what if discussions? And responsible solutions’’

Let go …

On the way …

Helpful behavioral habits

› moving in and out the car quickly› listen to mommy or daddy› Window positions› Seat strapping› Scheduled vigilance (e.g.: when driving into

home)› Bag under seat › Greeting strangers› Sweets; stuff (distractions)› Balls in road (distractions)

When it happens?

DAMAGE CONTROL

What to do:

Listen carefully

Acknowledge feelings

Look out for fears and fantasies

Go for mastery

Call a trauma debriefer

Common symptoms of traumatic stress

Recurrent and intrusive recollections of the event Recurrent and distressing dreams of the event (or any

nightmares in children) Intense distress when exposed to cues from the trauma Efforts to avoid thoughts and feelings or conversations

associated with the trauma Efforts to avoid activities, places or people associated with

the trauma Inability to recall important aspects of the trauma Diminished interest in significant activities Feelings of estrangement or detachment Restricted range of affect Sense of foreshortened future Difficulty with sleeping; concentration difficulties Hyper vigilance; exaggerated startled response; anger

When to call for help?

When these symptoms get worse rather than better

When these symptoms persist for more than 1 month

When these symptoms impair normal social and work/school functioning

TROUBLE SHOOTING

•How Much is too much ?

TROUBLE SHOOTING

•When is anxiety normal and when is it not ?

Common myths:

It can’t happen on holiday It can’t happen to me Everyone has the same standards of

safety as I do Asking for help is a sign of weakness. I

can manage it on my own Its all fate and there is no way to avoid

what happens to me