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THE ILL-FATED BROTHERS.A True Story.

BY "WILLIAMCOMSTOCKSome sixty years ago, when only fifty

summers and winters had passed overmy head, 1was going home to dinnerone afternoon, and had arrived as far asthe corner ofFront and Roosevelt streetswhenIpaused on seeing a considerablecrowd gathered m front of M. & C.'sstore.

Above the heads ot the bystandersloomed that ot a big cartman whom Ihad otten seen in that vicinity and everand anon he lifteda rattan, ac it threat-ing some person with severe chastise-ment.Ipressed forward to take a look at

the victinijbut that was not accomplishedtillIhad got inside the ring, for the in-dividual who had incurred the wrath ofthe gigantic cartman was a small negroboy—

a mere child;and there he stoodtrembling likea leaf, and almost whitewith terror as he momentarily expectedthe scourge to descend upon his • headand shoulders.

The surrounding throng laughed andjeered;they were highly entertained bythe terror of the littleblack boy.

A number ot saefcs filled with cinna-mon were piled on the sidewalk;they hadjust been landed Irom an East India shipthat lay at the wharfnear by. The boys,finding littleholes in these sacks throughwhich tha cinnamon projected, had im-proved the opportunity to supply them-selves gratis.

When the big cartman pounced uponthem they scattered, and all escaped ex-cept the littleblack boy, and of him thecartman had thought proper to make anexample.

As he stood there cowering and friend-less, Iplaced myself at his side, saying,•'Don't be frightened, little fellow

—he

dare not hurt you."Down came the rattan upon one ofmy

legs, and the delighted crowd glorified infinding a new subject for their mirth,while.anjenormous fat woman still fur-ther contributed to their merriment byplacing herself in front ot me, glaringIn my face, and demanding, in theshrillest of tones, "Are you a niggerwhitewashed, that you take a nigger'spart?"

The littlenegro, taking advantage ofthis diversion inhis favor, glided throughthe crowd, and putting allhis legs to ttieground, got off clear.

The blow whichIreceived from thecartman*s rattan was no great thing, butthe insult was something, and as 1look-ed ujo at him resentfully, he said:'

'Idon't care for your father—Idon't

care who your father is."Oicourse not; what should he care for

iathers, mothers, uncles or aunts? Washe not the tavorite cartman ot the weal-thy heuse ofM.<fc C.? Had he not agood,round salary and a permanent situation?Thus established for life,could he not af-ford to be perfectly independent ofeveryone except his weaithy employers?

Three years irom that timeIwent myfirst voyage to sea. On my return home,at the end ot three years and tourmonths,among the firstnews that Iheard wasthat the big cartman called Dobbins hadhung himself.

"How is that?'" Iasked.uWhy you see,'* was the reply, '-he had

long been in the service ot M.&C, andwhen they tailed nobody else cared to em-ploy him. The consequence was that hebecame miserably poor, and, finally, hehas hung himself in dispair."

That was sad news, and as itwas a dis-agreeable subject ofcontemplation'! ban-ished it from my memory in the beliefthat the fate ofBig Dobbins would soonbe forgotten. Iwas mistaken.

Being adrift in Valparaiso, three orfour years afterward,Ientered the navy,and signed the papers onboard the U. S.ship 8., which lay in the harbor. Afterwritingmy name,and holding a briefcon-ference with the first lieutenant, Iwaspassing along the gun-deck, when an ob-ject that met my view caused me to start.

Was Idreaming? There stood before mea gigantic seaman, with a colt in hishand, withthe form and features ofBigDobbins. It not only seemed to be theman himself, but he also fixed an evileyeon my countenance, as ifhe recognizedme.

"Who is that man?" demanded Iof aseaman, as soon as Ihad passed iorward.

"What—

that boatswain's mate,yonder?Why, that's BigDobbins, and—"

"BigDobbins !'' ciiedI. "Can it bepossible thatIwas misinformed, or washe cut down before life was extinct?"

"Cut downl" exclaimed the sailor,staring inhis turn; and then after a mo*ment's reflection, he added, "O,Iknowwhat you are thinking ofnow; he had abrother that drove a cart inNew York,whohung himself."

"But tnis is the exact likeness ot hisbrother. Icould not tell them apart;and he looked at me as though he knewme."

"Well," replied the mariner, "Iwouldnot advise you tocultivate his acquaint-ance. There may be worse men in the\u25a0world than big Dobbins, but if so,they've never crossed my hause. Whenhe flogs a man he strikes with all hismight; you'd think he was going to cutyou in two. He does this to curry favor\u25a0with the officers, and every man on boardhates him. He never dares to go on shorewithany ot the crew. If he should goashore, and the boys had caught himaway lrom the ship, he'd stand no morechance than a cat in a rat-pit withoutclaws."

The time passed on. Isaw many menflogged, both with the cats and the colt.Those who were flogged with the catstoldme that after a tew blows had beengiven the back felt as ifmelted lead hadbeen poured upon it;and yet they saidthey preferred the cats to the colt. Thelatter is a single rope about as thick asa man's finger. Generally no more thansix blows were given with the colt, thevictimbeing compelled to take off hisjacket only. The cats have ninestrings, which do no more than take offthe skin and leave the back raw andbloody ;but the colt is said to bruise as\u25a0well as cut the flesh. Experienced handswould, when possible, put on a backer.Hearing their names called by a boat-swain's mate, and expecting to be flogg-ed with the colt, they would hastily geta friend to shove several thicknessses ofcloth uader their shirts. The backerdeadened the blows, and thus renderedthe punishment more endurable.

One dayIwent went on the Jjerth-deck to get something out ot^^^^jjag.The pi; -olitary;except the maste?at arms in the other end of the ship,there seemed nobody on the berth-deckbut myself. WhileIwas leisurely over-

hauling my bag, Iheard a strange,smothered sound, as of some one in greatdistress, and this sound was followed bythe shrillcry ofmurder, which ran thro'the irigate and startled every one on thegun-deck. Iturned hastily and saw twomen

—both ofthem notedjpugilists

—beat-

ingbig Dobbins in a most furious man-ner.

These two men had seen the giant de-scend from the gun-deck to the berth-deck ;they had quietlyslipped down af-ter him, seized his jacket by his collar,drawn itover his tace and head, and thengiven itto him right and left with theirfists.

As soon as Dobbins yelled murderhalf-a-dozen midshipmen came runningto the rescue, while the two assailantsdarted up the ladder to the gun-deck;but they were not quick enough to es-cape recognition by the foremost mid-shipmen. Their names were immediate-lycalled by a boatswain's mate, the ruf-fles wereplaced on their wrists, and theywere consigned to the brig to await trialby a court martial. The offence was aserious one;attacking your superior offi-cer is call mutiny in the navy.

These two men were tried and sen-tenced to receive one Lundred lasheseach, on the bare back, with the cat-o'-nine tails.

As forBig Dobbins, both his eyeswere blacked, and his face was swelled totwice its usaal size.

The twocnlpnts bore theirpunishmentwithout flinching or complaining; and,two days afterward Big Dobbins, on go-ing to his chest, tound it fullof coal tar.Allhis clothes were completely ruined.No one knew who committed this dastard-lyact, but every one could guess. PoorDobbins sat down by his open chest sur-veying the ruin ofall his littleproperty,the picture of despair.

From that hour Big Dobbins neversmiled. Indeed, he was not a smilingman. One would almost as soon haveexpected the features of the stone imagein tront of St. Paul's to relax into a smileas that doleiul couutenance which sur-mounted the shoulders ofBig Dobbins.

Ina few days Dobbins was missed. Noone could not tell what had become ofDobbins. Had he deserted? "Yes,"was the general answer. Finding him-self persecuted by the crew, and hatedalikeby crew and officers, itwas thoughthe had leftus indisgust.

Another boatswain's mate took hisplace on the gun-deck, but Dobbins hadleft a great hole inthe air which his suc-cessor but partially filled.

But a few days passed when some ofus were out in the launch getting up acage. At a not very great distancefromus we perceived there was some-thing on the surface of the water, whichattracted the notice of the birds, whokept diving down, rising in the air, andthen alighting again, till quite a swarmof them were gathered there. The mentook littlenotice ofit;but, when we hadfinished our work, the midshipman incommand of the boat gave orders to headfor the place where the birds were flock-ing in such great numbers.

As we approached the spot thebirds rose from the water, giving usa lullview of the object floating on thesurface. Itwas the blue, swollen corpseofBigDobbins.

The body was taken on board the fri-gete, wrapped in the American flag, anddeposited on the larboard side of thegun- deck, where, when living, the de-ceased had been accustomed to pursuehis daily walk.

No one went to view the remains.Tnerewasno Marc Anthony to mournthe death ofthis Caesar. He was soonburied on the Island of San Lorenzo, atthe mouth oftne harbor of Callao, wheremore than a dozen of our crew were al-ready sleeping in their sandy graves.

Whether Dobbins committed suicideor fell overboard accidentally will neverbe known. Some of the crew whisperedtheir suspicion that he had been gaggedduring the night anp thrown overboard.At any rate, it is very strange that thesentinel on duty at the gangway neverperceived his plunge into the wathr. Per.haps he did,perceive it,and kept his owncouncil, forBig Dobbins had no friendson board that frigate.

EIGHTY YEARS OF GUILLOTINE.

Although France is full of advocates forthe abolition of capital punishment, theywillnot derive much support for their argu-ments from the history of public executionsduring the present century in Paris. Thenumber of criminals brought to the scaffoldhas never been anything like large, says theLondon Globe, and ithas manifested inlateyears, notwithstanding the extraordinaryprevalence of atrocious murders, a tendencyto decrease stillfurther. The statistics showthat in the seventy-nine years there havebeen only two hundred and sixty-three exe-cutions, so that a Parisian who had con-stantly assisted at each such scene since thefirst of January, 1801, wouldon an averagehave seen the guillotinein operation rathermore than three times in every year. Thebeginning of the century was, however,considerably more fertilein capital punish-ments than the latter part, and it appearsthat inthe first fifteen years there were sev-enty-one executions, giving an average ofnearly five each year. The least sanguinaryperiod was the twenty years from 1860 to1880, when the yearly return was 2.06,and thenext inorderis the period from1830 to1860,when itamounted to 2.75. A curious fea-ture in this dismal record is the extremerarity of cases in whichmore than one of-fender has been put to death at the sametime and for the same crime. Such execu-tions have occurred, in fact, at Paris onlyabout four times within the century. Thefirst occasion was in1804, when the famousChouan conspirator, Georges Cadoudal, whowas absurdly supposed to have been bribedby WilliamPitt, was guillotined with elevencompanions inthe Place de Greve. A yearlater three coiners of false money were exe-cuted together, and then there was no dou-ble execution untilthe year 1822, when fourmen generally known inthe annals of crimeas the

"Sergents de la Kochelle" ascended

the scaffold together. The last spectacle ofthe kind was afforded in1836, when Fieschi,the inventor of the "infernal machine," at-tempted the assassination ofLouisPhillippe,and having killed seven persons inhis abor-tive endeavor, was put to death by decapi-tation withhis two accomplices, Pepin andMorey. The executions of women have de-creased also ina notable manner. Six fe-

male murderesses were guillotinedunder theFirst Empire, three during the Restoration,and only one in the period of forty-fiveyears that have just elapsed.

We seldom find persons whom we ac-knowledge to be possessed of good sense,except those who agree withus in opinion.—

LaRochefoucauld.

EXCITED HIS CURIOSITY.

"Deadwood," said the stranger, puttingdownhis half-eaten slice of lemon pie, andtaking a long pull at the milk, "Iwent

there when the firstrush was made for thehills. Bather a rough crowd the first lot,you bet; more wholesome now. WhenIgot thereIwas dead broke

—didn't have a

dollar, didn't have a revolver, which a man'11 oftenneed out there worsen a meal's vit-tles. Iwas prob'ly the only man inthehillswho didn't carry a firearm, an' Iwassome lonesome, Itellyou,"

The only weaponIhed—lam a black-smith

—was arasp, a heavy file, you know,

'bout eighteen inches long, whichIcarrieddown my back, the handle ineasy reach justbelow my collar. Understand? Like theArkansaw man carries his bowie-knife.I'mnot exactly a temperance man. Ijustdon't drink an' don't meddle with any otherman's drinkin'

—that's all. One day

—I

hadn't been inDeadwood more'n a week—I

was sittin' ina s'loon—

onlyplace a man kinset to see any society

—when a feller come

in,areg'lar hustler, with his can fulland aquart over. He'd arevolver on each side ofhis belt and looked vicious. Nothin' meanabout him, though. Asked me to drink.'Not any, thank you,' sez L 'Not drinkwithme! Me! BillFeathergill! WhenIask a tenderfoot to drinkIexpect fri™ toprance right up an' no monkeyinl 1 Youh-e-a-r me 1

'"Well, when his hand went down for his

revolver,Iwhipped out my old filequicker'nfire'udscorch a feather, an' swiped him oneright acrost the face. When he fellIthought I'dkilledhim, an' the s'loon fiHin*up withbummers Isorter skinned out, notknowin' what might happen. Purty soon achap ina red shirt came up to me. Sez he,1Youthe man as ke-arved BillFeathergill?'.Cos, ef so be as you are, ef you don't wantev'ry man inthe hillsto climbyou don't youtry to hide yourself

—the boys is asking fur

you now.' t"It 6truck me that my friend bad the

idee, soIwaltzed back and went up anddown before that s'loon for nigh threehours. I'dfound out Bill wasn't dead an'was bad medicine, but itwouldnot do to letdown. Purty soonIsee my man a-headin'for me. His face had been patched up tillitlooked like the closing-out display of a re-tail dry goods store. There was so littlecountenance exposed that Icouldn't guesswhat he was a-aimin' at, so Ibrought myhand back of my collar, an' grabbed myfile."

'Holdon there, there;holdon,' sez he,\u2666gimmey'r hand, I'm friendly, I've gotnothin' agin you, not a thing, but

—you'll

pardon my curiosity— what sort of a weaponwas that; stranger ?

'"stammering:.

M.Chervin, who has founded several in-stitutions forthe cure ofstammering inEuro-pean cities,andespecially Paris, has publishedlately some curious statistics of this infirmity,and the conditions of its increase. Paris hasonly six stammering recruits in 10,000,whereas the Bouches dv Bhone has morethan 153. The ordinary frequency, how-ever, is about fivein1,000 ; at least at therecruiting age (foritseems to vary with theage). M. Chervin finds stammering fre-quent in Piedmont He attributes thisgreater frequency inpart to the extreme ani-mation of speech of the Southerners, ac-companied by gestures, demonstrations andexpressive mimicry, which some push evento grimace. The words

—like a crowd is-

suing froma theatre—

come out ina jerking,irregular way, and impatience adds to the jembarrassment The common cause ofstammering generally M. Chervin considersto be some sudden fright in childhood. Afire, a boat accident or the like willmake achilda stammerer suddenly. The evilmay,however, come gradually, and sometimesfrom involuntarilyimitation of stammeringinanother. Itis curious that men are muchmore subject to stammering than women.Country parts contain twice or thrice asmany stammerers as towns, according torecruiting data. With this may, perhaps,be connected the other fact brought to lightby M. CherVin, and which is easily ex-plained, viz.: that countries containing mostschools have fewest stammerers. By learn-ing to know their tongue, to distinguish,read and write the different words, chil-dren must come to apprehend and articulatethese more distinctly and avoid stammering.Insavage countries, where grammar is anart wholly unknown, travelers have often

been struck with the number of6tammerers m

M.Petitot mentions a tribe in North Amer-

ica.—

the Litchaurese—

of which allthe mem-bers stammered more or less.

DtflMtiHiA CHURCH.

A pious farmer named Cheney has beenin the habit of going to a meeting-house onGreen river, Kentucky, every Monday morn-ing and putting itincondition for the nextBunday. One Monday recently, he went tothe church as usual, but did not return tohis home. Hi« wife and family concludedthat he had gone to Curdville, and feltlittleuneasiness. Night came and passed, and hehad not appeared. His wife was greatlyalarmed, and several messengers started out.

Not a trace of the missing man could be dis-covered, and the farmers of the neighbor-hood turned out to make a thorough search,

Late Tuesday night itoccurred to some ofthe searchers to look in the church. Thedoor was opened, and there, on the floornear it, they discovered Cheney, paralyzedinhis right side and utterly helpless. Hehad gone to the church early, and whilesweeping the floor had been suddenly at-tacked withaparalytic stroke. He had man-aged during the two days to drag himself upto the door, but had been unable to open it,and was expecting to die of starvation whenbis friends discovered him. He had beenthirty-six hours without food

EXTRAORDINARY BENEFICENCE.

The nearest realization of the CheerybleBrothers of Dickens, is furnished inSir W.Lawrence and Alderman Lawrence, of Lon-dca, brothers and partners, who retiredfrombusiness recently. They handed overthe whole of their business to their clerksMidmanagers who had served them faith-fully for years, with the sum of £30,000 to

carry iton, gave the artisans whohad servedthem for ten years and upward sums inpro-portion to the number of years, and a fewof the oldest an annual pension of £20, re-serving no interest inthe new firmforthem-selves.

SUNBEAMS.The gloryof woman is her heir.

White-washers—

good laundresses.

The diamond field—The shut front.

Shrewd men—

Henpecked husbands.

Song of the piano men—"Hold theForte." \u25a0

Women wholike to gossip never likemento go-sip.

Pickpockets become watchmakers in acrowd.

The telescope maker has an eye-tubebusiness.

There are baggage scales at every weighstation. *

Did you ever see a dog bark his shins ?—Phila. Sunday Item.

Swells of the ocean get dead busted assoon as they strike the shore.

When a soldier is illhe becomes a six-shooter.— Yonkera Statesman.

When there's dirty work to be done alawyer is always infor it.—Yonkers States-man.

Always inhaste— The letter "h."—SalemSunbeam. Never in time; however.

—Glou-

cester CityReporter.

The Kansas City papers, since the strikeof the printers, are non compositor mentis.—

Keokuk Constitution.

No kissing by telephone forus. We pre-fer to take the electricity direct from thebattery.— Whitehall Times.

IfAdam was the first person singular,Eve must have been the second personspoken to.

—Hackensack Republican.

There isn't so much on a due billasis on a show bill, but aman willlook atitlonger and think about itoftener.

Time is money, and leisure is five centsto the man who reads the morning paper inanews depot withoutpaying for it.

Caws and effect. When the farmerhears the caws and goes forth withhis gun,the crows are likely tosee the effect.

A starved tramp said he was so thin ftiatwhen he had a pain he couldn't tell whetherit was a stomach-ache or a back-ache.

Never look a giftpencil in the lead, or agiftmeerschaum in the color, nor a giftpie inthe crust, nor a gift mule inthe righthind foot

Ifyour son has no brains don't send himto college. You cannot make a palace outof ashanty by putting a French roof onit—

Whitehall Times.The boy who hasn't gone through both

heads of his Christmas drum by this timehas at least set his old grandmother crazyand driven away the cook.

11 The men of to-day are too highstrung."Bays a Chicago paper. But the MorristovmHerald says :

''Some of them are not strung

high enough."—

OilCityDerrick.

Pressed ferns make a very nice tableornament, but they won't save a singleounce of butter with the children. A smallpicture-book at each plate will answer thepurpose much better.

The cook who undertakes to pluck a tur-key must make a clean breast of it.—N. O.Picayune. And the cook who undertakesto remove the skeleton must make no bonesof it.

—Boston Journal of Commerce.

"John, we won't have potatoes enoughfor dinner, with so much company ;whatshall we do?" "Tellthem we've lost ourpotato masher, and the girlhad to jump onthem. They won't ask for any," said John.

A goat browsing on a greensward ap-proached a pig-peu and said to its occupant,"Why do you stay in that horrid piace,when there's such a lovely spot as thishandy?" "The pen is mightier than thesward," grunted the pig. ..

Heaven's gates are not so highly archedas princes' palaces ; they that enter theremust go upon their knees.

AtBurton-on-Trent lately, a woman gotridof a baby by drugging it,doing it up ina parcel and sending itby a cabman toa cer.tain address, while she took a railway trainand "litout"

A Nevada man heard that a minister wasabout to settle inhis town, and he imme-diately, through the local- paper, calledupon allmarriedmen to protest against thenewcomer.

"Love laughs at locksmiths," and yetthere isn't anything funny about a locksmith.—Exchange. And there isn't anything funnyabout love, either. At leastSmythekins saysso, and he has been there a number of times.—

New YorkMail.

Strange things happen inSouthern Colo-rado. A tourist, by simply throwing onestone down the mountain-side, made a snow-slide slide, a cowslip 6lipand a butterfly fly.Allof which so amazed him, that he startedoffon a run, making his coat-flap flap.

A young mother inCincinnati was givingto her son, aged five years, a touching de-scription of the misery into which the prodi-gal son had fallen. "Far away fromhomeand his kind father, obliged to take care ofswine, withnothing to eat but the husks orcorn leftby them."

"Then why didn't he

eat the pig?"

was the practical reply of theyoung Eorkopolitan.

They are having a warm time just now inKansas Sunday-schools, and the questionunder discussion is, whether the boy whohas fairly.won the prize Bible by learningthree thousand eight hundred and sixty-seven verses in three months, can be ruledoff the track for putting furniture tacks anda wad of shoemaker's wax in the superin-tendent's chair.

AnOilCity Irishman, having signed thepledge, was charged soon afterward withhaving drank.

"'Twas me absent-minded-

ness," said Pat, "and a habitIhave oftalkin' to meself. Ised to meself, sez I,'Pat, coo inin an' have a drink.'

'No, ser,'Bez 1, 'I've 6worn off.' 'Thin I'lldrink-alone,' sez Itomeself.

'An' I'llwait forye

outside,' sez I. An' whinmeself cum out,faithan' he was drunk."

Scene :Barnyard.* Rustic maid milkinga cow; cow becomes restless, upsets milk-maid, stool and all. Miss Hardhit and Cap-tain Loftus, who are taking a walk in thecountry, come suddenly upon the scene.Miss H. to Captain L.:

"Captain, where

is your -gallantry ? Why don't you fly tothat young lady's rescue ?

" Captain L.:"Aw,you see the cow might kick me, youknow." Miss H. (demurely): "Youneedhave no feafs on that head, captain

—a cow

never kicks a calf.""

Woodworker," an -Indian chief, says hehas never seen a gray-haired Indian in hishie, and he had seen some over ninetyyears old. It is because the Indian has notrouble, no worriment oranything that way.His wife chops all the wood, builds thefires, goes to the market at daylight, stonetramps out of the front yard and blacks hisboots. And he is not tormented by taxcollectors, gas bills and lightning rod ped-lers. Let an Indian start a twenty-fourcolumn dailypaper ina six-column town tofilla longfelt want and his hair would turngray inone night •

NAPOLEONIC TRAITS.

The Emperor walked everywhere, speak-ing to right and left, preceded by someChamberlains, whoannounced his presence.When he approached there was dead si-lence, everybody remained perfectly still,the ladies rose and waited forthe insigficantand often disobliging remarks which he wasgoing to address to them. He never re-membered a name, and almost always bisfirst question was, "What is your name?"There was not a lady who was not charmedto see him depart from the place where shewas. His Ministers, for himself and inhispresence, were nothing but agents more orless active :'"Ishould not know what to dowith them," he said, "ifthey had not a cer-tain mediocrity of intelligence of character."Ifany one them felthimself superior inanypoint, he would feel itnecessary to dissem-ble, and, perhaps, as the feeling of dangerwarned every one, they generally affected afeebleness or nullitywhich didnot reallybe-long to them. Ina fitof frankness inwhichhe sometimes indulged, Iheard hi™ saythat he didnot like to confer glory excepton those who could not carry it. Hence, ac-cording to his political attitude toward thechiefs under his orders, or the degree ofconfidence which they inspired, he kept si-lence about certain victories, or changedfailure into success. Sometimes a Generallearned ina dispatch an action which he hadnever performed or a speech which he hadnever uttered. * * *

Itwas in vain toprotest against neglect or misrepresentation;the past had already been wiped out byfresher news, for the rapidity of Bonaparteinwarirought something new every day.He imposed silence onall remonstrance, or,ifhe found itnecessary to appease a Gen-aral, a sum of money or the grant of somefavor ended the difference. * * * Ican-not say whether he was a deist or an atheist.He was ready to scoff in private at every-thing connected withreligion, and Ithinkhe gave toomuch attention to all that hap-pened inthis worldto care much about theother. Iwould venture to say that the im-mortality of his name seemed to h\m muchmore important than that of his soul.

—Memoires ofMmc. Be Remusat.

LUCK AT CARDS.

One word as to luck. Whether we be-lieve initor not, there is such a thing asluck. We 6ee one man for a season persist-ently holding bad cards, losing rubber afterrubber, and invariably being found by hispartner withnothing in his hand. Nor issuch misfortune due to bad play. As longas honors count for what they do in therubber, a first-class player, it is calculated,has only the advantage of one point inthegame over an indifferent player. Still, inspite of men grumbling about their luck,and assuring everybody that they invariablylose, take a cycle of three years and it willbe found that luck is very even inits opera-tions. Ihave seen men who have loststeadily throughout a whole year, yet inthenext year they have more than recoveredtheir losses. Ihave seen a man lose thir-teen rubbers running, yet shortly afterwardIsaw him winevery night during a wholeweek. No man who has made legitimatewhist the occupation of his life has evercome to nvach grief. The men who havebeen

"broke

"are those who have not the

funds to stand a heavy run of bad luck; orthose who, not content with the points, betlargely,backing their luck when they win,and plunging deeper and deeper to regaintheirlosses when unfortunate. But legiti-mate whist

—that is, whist at points that a

man can afford to lose, and no bets—

is thecheapest pleasure that can be indulged in.It offers one an agreeable rest after theday's labor, a healthy form of excitement,and intellectual exercise without fatigue.My advice to all is that of Talleyrand,"

Play whist, and you willbe spared a sor-rowfuloldage."

—London Society.

TROUBLE FOR THE YOUNG MAN.

The Emperor of China is just now in aserious difficulty. Young though he is, hehas already to maintain some seventy wo-men inhis establishment invarious capaci-ties, and Like every other gentleman whohas ladies under his protection, the duty de-volves upon him of clothing them. Thiswouldbe an easy task were the seventy fairones of a reasonable turn of mind. But un-happily for the peace of the brother of thesun and moon, their extravagance is pro-nounced to be beyond all bounds. Twohundred and fiftythousand taels, which ismore than one-half of the land tax of theempire, were expended last year in silk,satin, gauze, velvet, redand gilt paper andpearls. It is said that one dress which is inpossession of an empress was covered lastyear withseed pearls, worked in so peculiara manner as to have cost a fabulous sum.With respect to this robe, there is troubleahead. The empress, is aged, though thedress is new. Ifshe die, according to cus-tom, the dress must be burned, supposing itto be inher possession at the time of thedecease. She refuses to part with it, andthe idea of this . wastefulness, coupled with(he prospect of increased extravagancetroubles the owner of the vermillion pencilexceedingly.

TENNESSEE'S PICTURED ROCK.

Not 100 miles below Nashville is a enrioudspectacle, known as the "Sun and Moon,"

Itconsists of a painting upon an immenserock which rises to an altitude of sevemihundred feet. As to who painted it is amystery whichIbelieve was never unrav-eled. Many thinkit was the work of thered brother, centuries ago, perhaps. Btrtthere the sun and moon shine out in all thefreshness and gloryof new paint. They ar*

located midway the cliff, and stand out inboldrelief. As to how any human beirgever reached the spot is a question which,Ibelieve, has never been solved. It is sup-posed that in those days they had no giantladders; and could not easily have reachedthe point from below. The only naturalrope of that time was a wild grape-vine, ofwhich Tennessee is so prolific, and some In-dian might have been by t.hi« means letdown over the dizzy bluff,and when he hadfinished his workhad again been let down orpulled up. At any rate, these pictures arethere on the everlasting rock, and are likelyto remain for future ages.

—Cincinnati Com-

mercial.

Our own hands are Heaven's favorite in-struments for supplying us with the neces-sities and luxuries of life.

ALBANIANTRAITS.

Recently, a native of the Delvino districtwas traveling, and came upon a man asleepunder a tree f and immediately recognizedhim as the leader of a well-known band ofbrigands. On looking round and findingthat he was not observed, he cut off thebrigand's head. Twonephews of the mur-dered brigand have now come to live inDelvino, and every one knows the object oftheir visit They wUJrtop there foryearsuntil their vengeance is satisfied. Some-times the man sought for goes to live inthe Island of Corfu, thinking in that man-ner to escape ;but he is generally followed,and suffers the penalty. WhileIwas stop-ping at Corfu, the body of aMussulman Al-banian was found just outside the town withhis head cut off; and from this fact it wasbelieved that he had been followed to thedeath. Itis a horrible and ghastly practice ;and asIsat inmy quarters at Delvino, andlooked from my window on the lovelyscenery of mountain and valley, river andforest, the houses surrounded with olive,orange, pomegranate, and myrtle trees scat-

tered on either side of the steep hills andextending for two miles along the valley,withhere and there a minaret, and then aChristian church

—Ifelt a shudder at thethought that, notwithstanding this peacefulscene, each house probably contained a mur-derer. With allthis, the Albanians have acertain sense of chivalry. They assured m«that a stranger might travel with perfectsafety from end to end of Albania withasack fullof gold, provided he was accom-panied by any female companion ; and Ihave heard this confirmed from other partsof the country. AnEnglish lady of my ac-quaintance was traveling to joinher hus-band in Northern Albania. She was ac-companied by only two zaptechs, or police-men. She had stopped inthe middle of theday to rest under a tree, when a fine-lookingman, armed to the teeth, suddenly appearedand entered into conversation. He wasshortly joined by many others, and shefound that she was inthe hands of a largeband of brigands ; but they showed herevery courtesy, and conducted her safely onher way. These same men wouldhave rob-bed a man of everything he had, and wouldprobably have made himpay a ransom be-sides.

—Blackocood's Magazine.

AN HITOBLEPRINTER.

Seldom does alive Dutchman get credit ofmore smart things than are set down to himinthis catechism that he put to a journey-man printer :

ADutchman, sitting in the door of histavern in the far West, is approached byatall, thin Yankee, who is emigrating west-

ward on foot, with a bundle hung on a caneoverhis shoulder.

"Veil, Mister Valking Stick, vat youvant ?

"inquired the Dutchman.

"Best and refreshment, "^replied the print-er."

Supper and lotchin',Ireckon?"

"Yes, supper and lodging, ifyouplease.""Pc ye a Yankee peddler, midchewehry in

your pack to sheat der gal ?"

"No, sir;I'm no Yankee peddler.""Asingin' master, too lazy toyork ?

""No, sir.""A shenteel shoemaker, vat loves to mea-

sure der gal's feet and hankies better tan to

make der shoes ?"

"No, sir, or Ishould have mended myown shoes."

"Abookachent vot bodders der schoolcommittees tillthey do vot you wish, choos*to get ridof you ?

" »"Guess again, sir. lam nobook agent""Ter tyefels! A dentist, preaking der

people's jaw at a dollara schnag, and run-nin' offmit a daughter ?

""

No, sir; lamno tooth puller.""Phenologus, den, feeling der young

folk's heads like so many cabbitch ?"

"No. lam no phrenologist.""Veil, den, vat der teyfels can you be?

Choost tell, you shall have the best sassagefor supper, and sday all night free gratis,mitouta cent, and a chillof whiskey to startmit inder mornin'."

"lam an humble disciple of Faust—

8

professor of the art that preserves all arts—

a typographer, at your service.""Votschdot?""Aprinter, sir; a man that prints books

and newspapers.""Aman vot printsch noosepapers ! Oh,

yaw, yaw! ay, dat ish it. A man votprintsch noospapers !yaw, yaw 1 Valkup!Aman vot printsch noosepapers !IvishImay be shot ifIdid not tink you vasa poor tyeful of a dishtrick schoolmasterwhovorks for nodding and boards round.Itought you vas him.

—Exchange.

HOW ITSOUNDS.

Some writerhas produced apoem entitled,"Sounds From the Sanctum." It readsjust too pretty, and gives rise to the thoughtthat the author never visited the sanctumwhen business was in full blast. Ifhe hadcalled about midnight, for instance, hewouldhave Been two saints, one poring overa proof-slip, the other holding the copy,and the sounds wouldhave been somethinglike this : Proof-reader

—"As flowers with-

out the sunshine fare—

comma—

so—

comma—without you.—comma— doI

—full stop

—breathe a dark and dismal mare

—"Copy-

holder: "Thunder! not mare—

air."Proof-reader: "Ibreathe a dark and dis-mal air

—comma

—as flowers

—comma

—"Copy-holder:

"Shoot the comma." Proof-

reader—"'

'Tis done. As flowerswithout thesunshine fare

—semi-colon

—confound slug

seven, he never justifies his lines—

No joyin life

—comma

—no worms

—"Copy-

holder: "Warmth." Proof-reader— "NowarmthIshare

—comma

—And health and

vigorous flics—"

Copy-holder: "Blazes!Health and vigor fly

—"Proof-reader:"

Health and vigor fly—full stop." That'sabout the sound of it when poetry is ondeck.—Dcs Moines Register.

A TOUGH MAN.

Aremarkable case of survival of seriousinjuries is reported from Cincinnati. Twoyears ago aman named Schmidt was struckfive times on the head witha hatchet, threeof the wounds penetrating the brain. Oneday recently the man died, and when apost-mortem examination was made, the phy-sicians were surprised to find that the manhad died of consumption. Although threeholes were found, extending entirely throughthe skull, there were no indications ofbraindisease.

LUCKYCARELESSNESS.:;"*.y.'-:<>.*:'. ;, . \u25a0

\u25a0

A singular piece of good fortune recentlyhappened to a well-knownlady of this coun-ty, for which she has no one to thank buther own carlessness. She had purchased alot of Louisville and Nashville Railroadstock at a figure a trifle less than $40 perchare, and was naturally a trifle anxious inregard to its safety. When the stock beganto go upward she watched it with interest,and when it got up to $41 she wrote a letterto her broker in the city to sell the stock.As business-like as the generality of women,she forgot allabout sending the certificateof stock, and of course her broker could donothing without it. He wrote her a noteand told her he must have the cer-tificate. She began to search for thepaper, but ithad been mislaid, and whileshe was making the search the stock climbedup inthe fifties. This redoubled her anx-iety to sell, and every nook and corner ofher house was thoroughly ransacked, butwithout avail; the paper had disappeared.

She then rested onher oars, and didnot

make further investigation, a3 the stock wasstilladvancing. The stock finally reachedthe seventies, however, and the unbrokenadvance seemed at an end ; it hung fire for

several weeks, up one day and down thenest. The lady began to be uneasy, and asthe quotations vacillated hhe began to growexcited. The house was again turned up-side down, and every part of it scrutinizedwitha microscope, as itwere; but it wasmade more evident that the desired paperwas hopelessly lost. The lady was becom-

ingmore and more nervous every day, audwatching quotations with feverish excite-ment. While thus under high pressure thestock sailed up into the nineties, and then,with a rush that ahuo-t drove her wild,jumped to 110. Then she rushed into thecity and begged her broker to sell at onceand not delay untilshe could findher certifi-cate, but he explained that itwas impossibletoBell the stock where fcbe did not possessthe certificate. He also explained that shecould have another certificate issued by ap-plication to the secretary.

This the did withall celerity, but, despiteher haste, the stock advanced to 141 beforeshe could get it ready for sale. At thisfigure, just 250 per cent, above that atwhich she first desired to <eU, 6he finallydisposed of the stock. Her carelessness inmisplacing the certificate paid her well, andifshe had lost the second certificate shewouldhave realized at least 20 per cent,

more.—

Louisville Courier-Journal.

HE WANTED NO.UETHIN<; "FRISKY.""

Got something frisky?"

he asked, as hewalked into a liveiy-stable and called for asaddle-horse

—"boinethiug that willprance

about lively, and wake a fellow out of hislethargy ? Iused to ride the trick mule ina circus, an'Ireckon Ican back anythingthat wears hair."

They brought him out a calico-coloredbeast, witha vicious eye. md lie mounted itrod dashed off.

Before he had gone two blocks, the ani-mal bucked, crashed through a high boardfence, and plunged into a cellar, tossing hisriderover the top of an adjacent woodshed,and landing him on the ragged edge of alawn-mower.

They bore him home, straightened himout, and three surgeons came in and re-

duced his dislocation*, and plastered him upwithraw beef.

A few weeks later, ho called at the stable,and said ifthey had a gentle saw-horse withan affectionate disposition, a bridle withacurb-bit and martingales, and a saddle withtwo horns and a crupper to it, he believedhe wouldgo up in the haymow, and galloparound a little where it was soft and it

wouldn't hurt him.

AN ANCIENT I-ANI*URANT.

The Chicago TWfctfMprintean interestingolddocument, conveying to the whites fromthe Indians an immense ti'uct of land, in-cluding the whole of Illinoisand a large partof Wisconsin. The consideration paid for

this territory is thus expressed in the deed:Two hundred and sixty strands, two hun-dred and fiftyblankets, three hundred andfiftyshirts, one hundred and fifty pairs of

stroudand half-thick stockings, one hun-dred and fifty stroud breech-cloths, five

hundred pounds of gunpowder, four thou-sand ounces Of lead, one gross of knives,thirty pounds of vermillion, two thousandgun flints, two hundred pounds of brass ket-tles, two hundred pounds of tobacco, threedozen gilt-looking giusfccs, one gross of gunworms, two gross of awls, one gross of firesteels, five hundred tnttheh of Indiancom, twelve hones, twelve horned cattle,twenty bushels of talt and twenty guns.

THE URAVEF,MINE.

Ifyou want to znake a certain VirginiaCity merchant real mad, ask Lin; if he hasa gravel mine to sell. He got to playingpoker one day and won $2<>o, but took inpayment an undeveloped gravel mine.His friends teased him terribly aaout the al-leged worthless property, and at last, get-ting a littleexcited, he told them that be-fore he got through with that mine theywould see that he was not wuch a fool asthey took him for. Then he wrote to somerich acquaintances that he had a splendidclaim, which, being hard up, lie wouldsellcheap for $2,000. Then ho bought $500worthof gold dust and nuggets, and saltedihe claim thoroughly with them. The capi-talists came, prospected a little, bought itimmediately, and paid himhis $2, 000 cash.In three weeks they got out $8,000 worth ofof ore. That Virginia City man didn'tsmile for a month.

SHE WAS THE WROXi WOMAN.

Anabsent-minded man, traveling withhiewife in a railroad car, left her bide to get adrink. When he returned, he dropped intoa seat immediately in front of his betterhalf, beside an unprotected female, overwhose head the snows of about thirty-eightwinters had glode. His wifewas lookingout

the car window at tjie scenery, and didn'tnotice his awful blunder. Presently, with-out turning his head, be impatiently re-marked:

"Jane, how often have Itold you not tostarch my shirts so infernally stiffi

"The ancient female, whose forward name

happened to be Jane, screamed"

Monster 1"and fainted on the spot, and the absent-minded man looked uncomfortably warm ashe changed seats.