Xscape Negotiation Training
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Transcript of Xscape Negotiation Training
Xscape Negotiation Training
Victoria Pynchon, J.D., LL.MADR Services, Inc. , Century City, California
and She Negotiates Consulting and Training on the Web
wake up!
The Northridge earthquake occurred on January 17, 1994 at 4:31 AM Pacific Standard Time in Reseda, a neighborhood in the city of Los Angeles, California, lasting for about 45 seconds. The earthquake had a "strong" moment magnitude of 6.7, but the ground acceleration was one of the highest ever instrumentally recorded in an urban area in North America.
Negotiation is a conversation
leading to agreement
in a mixed motive exchange
Compete for scarce resources
Collaborate for mutual gain
Negotiate this . . .
Negotiate these . . .
Do you want some coffee?
Only if you’re
having someWell, do you want some?
Do you?
Well, I’m going to
make some Great! I’ll have some too!
• Let’s have lunch or coffee . . . • Small talk . . . • How’s business?• Me too . . . . • I was hoping we might be able to do business
together . . . . • Here’s what I bring to the table• I thought it might benefit you to have . . . • My rate is $_____ (MORE THAN YOU WANT)
Could we talk
about this
later?
I appreciate it but it was not
what I was expecting
We must not be on the same
page
My product is worth . . . .
Responses to Conflict
• Suppression• Avoidance• Resolution• Transformation• Transcendence
Dispute Resolution Tactics
• Yielding/Ingratiation• Shaming• Persuasive
argumentation• Promises of future action• Threats of future action• Physical force
recognize the opportunity to
negotiate
Women tend to value relationship more than money
tit for tat
S is for Shakedown Artist copyright 2010 Reason Press
The Prisoners’ Dilemma
• If u both play ur Y card, u each earn 2 points. • If u both play ur X card, u each earn 3 points.• If u play ur X card & ur partner plays her Y
card, u earn 0 & ur partner earns 5 points. • If u play Y card & ur partner plays her X card, u
earn 5 points & ur partner earns 0• Begin play by holding ur card of choice up to
ur chest.
We measure our work by what we need
We compare our income to our women friends’
often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers
We over-deliver to our clients and superiors
and under-deliver to ourselves
We work 22%
longer and 10% faster for the same reward
we can close the gap NOW
monkey economy
50 million years
ANCHORINGANCHORING
When we set our value in the market When we set our value in the market we set our own future value; we set we set our own future value; we set our women colleagueour women colleague’’s value and we s value and we set the value for our children and set the value for our children and childrenchildren’’s childrens children
Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
Recalibrate our Market value
Sk for it
we all have universal tendencies of thought called cognitive biases
universal ways of thinking about what motivates other people
But we never learned to read one another’s
minds
Suspicion followedP is for Paranoid copyright 2010 Reason Press
We needed to cooperate to
survive
What do we most want to know
What the HECK are they THINKING?
and will it be harmfulto me?
Will they cooperate
or attack ?
How can I make them do what I
want them to do?
we read signs and symbols
in an effort to control our own destiny
and make common cognitive errors
We see patterns
where none exist
Clustering Illusion
we discount everything our
bargaining partners say
reactive devaluation
confirmation bias
we search for and interpret information in a way that confirms our preconceptions
Cognitive Biases Prevent us from learning Other’s mind
• what do they want/need• what do they have of value• how do they value it
• why do they want what they are seeking
Prevent us from accurately assessing •perils
•opportunities
Getting what you want
Copyright 2010 Reason Press
Negotiate from Strength
You are as strong as you
believe yourself to be
L is for Lawyer copyright 2010 Reason Press
how can we reach mutually beneficial and durable agreements?
By ascertaining their interests, preferences, priorities, needs, desires, constraints, strengths, and weaknesses
Z is for Zen Master copyright 2010 Reason Press
Collaborative Problem Solving
C is for Coward copyright 2010 Reason Press
Ask Diagnostic Questions
• What are my intended outcomes and interests?– Preferences, priorities,
needs, desires, fears, aspirations, bottom line
• What are their possible interests and outcomes?– Put yourself in their shoes
• What are the options?– Potential points of
agreement– Differences that might be
dove-tailed
Q is for Questioner copyright 2010 Reason Press
T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
• Compatibility (issues not in conflict)
• logrolling, or trading off concessions on low-priority issues for gains on higher priority issues
• trading differential time preferences– Allocating more initial outcomes to
the more impatient party – Allocating greater profits over a
longer period to the more patient party
• adding issues not inherent in the initial negotiation framework– Bonuses– Flex-time– Best associates
• contingent contracts– If I bring in $X this year,
I’ll receive Y% of it
T is for Them and Us copyright 2010 Reason Press
FramingFraming
• Present Losses as Gains
•Strong tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains
• a service business’ most important assets go down the elevator every night and you have to give them a good reason to come back
• the cost of replacing you
• competitor’s deal would be a loss because – they’re not as nimble, creative, resourceful . . .
• Frame your proposal in your favor
• state your qualities as what your client needs
• state your settlement proposal as what your opponent’s client needs
• state your deal terms as what your negotiation partner prefers, prioritizes, needs, and desires
•Make contingent concessions, i.e., if you’ll raise your offer to $150K, I’ll lower my demand to $200,000K
•Creates appearance of concession•Almost risk free
•Label concessions & demand reciprocity• Stress difficulty in making concession
•This will cut our profit razor thin•If I make this concession, you should be willing to promise me partnership next year
Concessions & Reciprocity
Distributive Bargaining• The process by which the parties
distribute between themselves what they believe to be a fixed “pie” of money, goods or services
• A Zero Sum exchange in which whatever one side gains, the other side loses
• Parties move toward resolution through a series of concessions
Image credit istockphoto.com 2010
• High initial demands• Maintain them throughout• make few (and small) concessions • adhere to a high level of aspiration• obtain as much information as
possible• give away little• bluff• mislead • threaten retaliatory action if the
other side does not comply.
Competitive Competitive BargainingBargaining
Difficult people
Behind every accusation is a cry for help
D is for Drama Queen copyright 2010 Reason Press
• They’re not difficult, they are uninformed– Educate them about
their true interests, consequences of their actions
– Help them understand what is in their best interest
– May have misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information
I is for Idiot copyright 2010 Reason Press
They’re not evil; they have hidden interests– Personal (unrelated
to you or deal)– Relational (related to
you but not to the deal, i.e., “face”)
– Political, social, cultural
O Is for Outlaw copyright 2010 Reason Press
They are not irrational; they have hidden constraints– Institutional– Precedential– Promises to others– Deadlines
• People err in one direction or the other by:– Prioritizing the
relationship & saying “yes” when you want/need to say “no” or
– Prioritizing their own power by brusquely saying “no” or
– Take middle ground of avoidance saying nothing & hoping a problem won’t arise
F is for Friend copyright 2010 Reason Press
Practice practice practice
• Negotiate retail• Ask for something
– You know they’ll say no to– You know they’ll say yes to
• Collect a dozen “no’s” in the next two weeks
• Set your price 2x higher than normal
• Have a difficult conversation asking diagnostic questions
• Teach your children• Teach your spouse• Make a game out of it
K is for Kin copyright 2010 Reason Press
You can have it all
Just not at the same time