Writing —By Ni Ailing

from Panhuang Experimental School

Task:Learn to write about persons

12, short hair, love reading (7A Unit1)

Millie is 12 years old. She has short hair. She loves reading.

Millie 's age, appearance and hobbby

12, short hair, wear glasses, learn things quickly, kind and helpful (8A Unit1)

Daniel is 12 years old. He has short hair and wears glasses. He is clever and can learn things quickly. He is kind and helpful.

Daniel 's ability and perosonality

born in Hunan, a famous composer, win the Nobel Prize in 2001, bring Chinese and western music together (9A Unit5)

He was born in Hunan. He is a famous composer. He won the Nobel Prize in 2001. He has successfully brought Chinese and Western music together and built a bridge between the East and West.

Tan Dun ’s job and achievements

hobbyperson

job

ability

ageapperanc

e

achievement

future plan personalit

y

Work in groupsWork in groupsList some words, phrases or sentencesList some words, phrases or sentences

appearance ： short , tall, thin, of medium height, strong, good-looking, nice, slim

hobby ： like/ be fond of/enjoy reading

personality ： lazy, quiet, friendly, shy, helpful, polite, organized, hard-working, patient, humorous, generous,

future plan: He/She wants to be a … when he/she grows up, He/She hopes he can be …, He/She hopes to be…, His/Her dream is to be …

ability: be good at Maths, can learn things quickly, be able to repair computers

Collection:

100 词左右

Step 1. Examine the title计 20 分

Step 2. Make an outline

P1

P2

P3modest, generous, humorous,...

Discuss:Discuss: How can we make the passage perfect?

express in different

ways

Daniel is helpful and helps an old woman cross the street. He is kind and often works at Helping Hand Club. He is creative and creates a TV program.

Daniel is helpful and kind. Once he helped an old man cross the street once. He spends his spare time working at Helping Hands Club. He is so creative that he created a TV program.

Is this passage perfect?

Link words: Step 3. Write the passage

however, also, besides, what’s more( 除此以外 ), in addition, so… Sentence structures:1. ... with + n. phrases/ prep. phrases2. She/ He is a girl/ boy who......3. so/such...that...4. be+ adj.+ enough + to do...5. not only... but also...6. I have learned to be/ that...7. It is… who/ that…

评分标准：A.20—18分 涵盖所有内容要点，结构清晰，内容连贯，运用多种句式和语法结构，基本无语法错误。B.17—14分 涵盖大部分要点，内容基本连贯，语言少量错误。C.13—9分 只能运用简单句表达，语言有较多错误，但尚能答意。D.4—6分 能写出几个要点，但语言错误较多，影响了意思表达。 E.0—3分 白卷或文不对题，错误百出， 不知所云。 等级 ________ 理由 __________ 评分人__________

评分标准：A.20—18分 涵盖所有内容要点，结构清晰，内容连贯，运用多种句式和语法结构，基本无语法错误。B.17—14分 涵盖大部分要点，内容基本连贯，语言少量错误。C.13—9分 只能运用简单句表达，语言有较多错误，但尚能答意。D.4—6分 能写出几个要点，但语言错误较多，影响了意思表达。 E.0—3分 白卷或文不对题，错误百出， 不知所云。 等级 ________ 理由 __________ 评分人__________

Sample:My friend Daniel comes from Beijing Sunshine Secondary School. He has short hair and wears a pair of glasses. He likes playing computer games, but dislikes sports.He is helpful and kind. He often helps people in need. Lastweek, I saw him help an old woman cross the road. He also spends a lot of time working at Helping Hand Club. He also has a good sense of humor. He often tells us funny jokes and makes us laugh. What’s more, he is such a creative boy that he created a TV program in a competition. Daniel is so great that we should learn from him and try ourbest to help each other to creative a happy home for both you and me. (125 words)

Homework:

1. Write about the person you admire most or write a recommendation letter.

2. Collect good words, phrases or sentences to make your writing better.

Learn to write through writing!

Step 4. Improve your passage

Daniel is creative. He created a TV

programme. Daniel is so creative that he created a TV

programme.

Daniel has short hair. He wears glasses.

Daniel is a boy with short hair and a pair of glasses.

He often works at the Helping Hand Club.

He spends a lot of time working at the

Helping Hand club.

Step 5. Have a check

First, check if there are mistakes in spelling, punctuation (标点 ) or grammar.

Second, check if the passage is expressed fluently (流畅地 ).

3. Write the passage My friend Daniel comes from Sunshine Middle Scool. He has short hair and wears glasses. He likes playing computer games and dislikes sport.He is helpful. Once I saw him help an old man cross the road. He is kind and often helps at Helping Hand Club. He is creative. He created a TV programme. He is also modest and never shows off. We must learn from Daniel. We should help each other.

What do you think of this passage? Perfect/ Average/ Poor