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Work Smarter, Live Better Work-Life Balance Training

Joe Robinson Optimal Performance Strategies

© Joe Robinson 2019

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WORK SMARTER, LIVE BETTER Joe Robinson SETTING WORK-LIFE TARGETS Work-life balance is not the default position. We define the self through labor, so work becomes the default. Building more work-life balance into your life is a proactive affair. Let’s start by zeroing in on what WLB is for you. What does work-life balance mean for you? How could it be better? What’s missing right now? What are your top targets for improving WLB? What’s the next physical action to make the targets happen?

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LIFEBALANCESHEET Deficit Satisfied Surplus FamilyTimeSignificantOtherFriendsMe-TimeHealth/ExerciseRecreation/HobbiesSocialOutletsLearningEntertainmentTravelPersonalGrowth

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BALANCE BLOCKERS What are the three main obstacles to balance in your workday? 1. Next step: 2. Next step: 3. Next step: WHAT’S YOUR NEW ATTITUDE?

The next time stress goes off, what new attitude/story could you respond with as a part of Attitude Breathing? What phrase (such as “I Don’t React,” “Stay Neutral,” “Stay Objective,” “Make Peace With This”) could cut off the stress story, bring you out of the caveman brain and back to a smart decision?

My new attitude phrase is:

BOOST YOUR 3 TO 1 RATIO

Identify two intentional activities, hobbies, or experiences you can bring into your week to boost your positive to negative count.

1.

2.

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Which one will you try first?

What’s the next step? Signing up for a class? Getting a phone number?

SETTING BOUNDARIES Boundaries are a success tool, the most basic self-management tool. They range from email management to stress management and a work-family perimeter. What boundary could you set to make work more effective and your life less difficult? My Boundary:

IDENTIFYING AN EFFECTIVE WORKLOAD

Finding the most effective balance of tasks plays a key role in reducing overload and stress, and increasing productivity. Let’s start with two simple questions that helped IBM Research save hundreds of thousands of dollars and improve balance.

What should I be doing less of?

What should I be doing more of?

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CHOOSING TO LOSE GUILT Guilt is an unconscious stressor, and it can drive burnout by making us do more than we can do well. The way out of the guilt-resentment cycle is choice. When does guilt show up for you? DAILY COUNTERBALANCE: Put a reminder on your phone to check guilt. What are you doing out of guilt today? Remember to say your Implementation Intention: If I feel guilty, then I’m going to catch myself, and make a conscious choice. Take a frequent source of guilt and identify s conscious choice you can make to opt out of it the next time it crops up. CRAZY URGENCY TRAITS The hidden reflex of time urgency drives a loop of rushing. Time urgency fuels rushing and rushing fuels stress. We can begin to control this habit by identifying the traits that drive time urgency. Circle the traits below that apply to you. 1. Type-A behavior 2. High level of impatience 3. Need to race through every task 4. Irritability when others don’t move fast enough 5. Frequent clock-checking 6. Talking fast 7. Eating fast

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RUSH-HOUR SYMPTOMS What are the physical symptoms of rushing and time anxiety for you? Tightness in the neck, racing stomach? List your warning signs of the speed trap: THE URGENCY TEST Nonstop motion makes everything appear urgent when we haven’t taken the time to think about what is urgent and what isn’t. Put two current to-do items to the urgency test by determining the answer to two questions. What is the urgency of doing it now? What are the consequences of waiting? Task 1: Urgency of doing it now Consequences of waiting Next physical action Task 2: Urgency of doing it now Consequences of waiting Next physical action

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EMAIL MANAGEMENT If you have email on autopilot, checking every five minutes, that’s a potential of 96 interruptions over the course of the day. To reclaim productive time, email volume has to be cut. How many times do you check email per day and what percent could you cut that by? What could you do to manage messaging better? COUNTERBALANCE WITH AN EMAIL CHECKING SCHEDULE Turning off email software and checking at designated times is the most effective tool of email management. Researchers have found that manual checking three to four times a day is the optimal schedule for productivity. It lets you set the terms of engagement, which provides control and lowers stress. Create an email-checking schedule that could cut down on interruptions. UNPLUG FOR YOUR BRAIN If every spare moment is used to check devices and screens, our brains have no time to process events that happen to us. As a result, when we are sleeping, our brains can’t make the connections that help us solve problems and create memories. What will your unplugged time zone be after work?

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CHOOSE A FOCUS ZONE

We get more work done in less time when we use our peak hours of energy and alertness to do high-concentration tasks. Identify your peak concentration time (usually early morning for early risers and late afternoon for night owls) and create a focus zone for your most important, creative, and attention-demanding tasks. Then create a message you can put on your autoresponder to let people know you’re on a project or out of pocket from 8-9 a.m. or 4 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., whatever your peak alertness period is.

What’s your peak focus period of the day? How much time can you set aside for this time to be your focus zone? 30 minutes? One hour?

Which high-attention tasks should you be doing in your focus zone?

YOU CAN HANDLE IT When overwhelm and multiple demands pile up, there can be a default in the self-talk chat to, “how will I get it done?” Or “I can’t handle it.” Don’t buy it. Tell yourself you CAN handle it. You always do. Which daily pressures or demands would you like more control over? THE STRESS ALARM

When was the last time you felt stressed or had a stressful event? How long did you feel stressed? Check the appropriate time below.

5 minutes

10 minutes

10

30 minutes

1 hour

A day

Several days

Weeks

Still stressed

How did you feel when the stress kicked in?

Mad

Afraid

Annoyed

Frustrated

Worried

Hurt

Other

How productive was that emotion?

INCREASING PERCEIVED CONTROL Stress is a function of how much control you feel over demands. The goal is to make adjustments to give you more perceived latitude. What makes you feel out of control in your work? What adjustment could make you feel more latitude?

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What makes you feel in control?

STRESS TRIGGERS

What are the two most frequent stress triggers at work?

TRIGGER 1:

How does this trigger make you feel?

How does it make you act?

TRIGGER 2:

How does this trigger make you feel?

How does it make you act?

COUNTER STRESS WITH THE REALITY-RESPONSE

Take the two main stress triggers you listed and identify the catastrophic story behind them, supplied by the caveman brain. The first thought that goes off with a negative event is an exaggeration that sets off a false belief. If we don’t challenge it quickly, it entrenches and we believe it’s real.

What is the FALSE STORY behind each of these two stress triggers that sets off the stress response in your mind, a belief you can’t cope?

False Story - Trigger 1

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False Story - Trigger 2

What’s the MOST LIKELY story for the situation?

Most Likely Story - Trigger 1

Most Likely Story - Trigger 2

What’s your NEW STORY? What can you tell yourself to counter the false stories of these triggers and turn off the danger signal? Example: “Yes, I have a tough conversation ahead, but I’ve done it before. I can handle it.”

New Story - Trigger 1

New Story - Trigger 2

ARGUING WITH YOURSELF Our thoughts drive stress, not the stressful event. Let’s use the A, B, C, D, E exercise from Albert Ellis to build mental toughness and understand the stress process, that the external event, the adversity, is not causing stress. We are, by ruminating about the false belief. We have to challenge it. Take a stressor that pushes your buttons. Now submit it to the ABCDE model: What’s A, your adversity?

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What is B, the false belief that comes from it? What consequences in your behavior, actions, and thoughts come from this belief? Note that it’s B that is causing C. Now D, dispute the false belief. Bring in the facts, as a lawyer would. Focus on evidence, alternatives (more than one cause for the event, so why take the worst?), implications (how likely the belief is true), usefulness. Focus on causes that are changeable, specific, and non-personal. Write down how you will dispute the false belief. Resolve the false belief and you have E, energization. What does it feel like to resolve the problem?

MANAGING COUNTERPRODUCTIVE BELIEFS Identify a hidden belief behind a stressor, called an “iceberg,” that makes it hard to manage stress or that drives stress. Beliefs usually come from place where something “should” or “shouldn’t” be the way it is. It could be: “I shouldn’t need any help,” “I should be able to figure this out,” “This should go perfectly,” “There shouldn’t be traffic,” “My spouse should be more understanding of what I’m going through.” When the opposite of the belief occurs, stress follows. Find the belief behind one of your stress triggers above or behind a different stressor, perhaps something at home, and think about an expectation that may be behind the stressor. Turn the belief into a statement that something should or shouldn’t be that way. What “should” or “shouldn’t” be can be a stressor, such as “I can’t trust anyone else to get the job done.” That means more work and burnout if you can’t delegate.

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List your “should” or “shouldn’t” belief statement below: List three reasons for the opposite of your belief to be true. 1. 2. 3. Now answer: 1) Is the belief still meaningful to you? 2) Is the iceberg accurate? 3) Is it overly rigid? 4) Is the iceberg useful?

CATCHING YOURSELF WITH DISPUTE REHEARSAL

Stress is default behavior. We react before we think. It’s important to build in a process to immediately dispute stress.

Visualize your two stress triggers and describe how you will respond to them next time. When the stress goes off, what will you do?

Now visualize your response. Think of the two stress triggers and practice that response.

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CREATE YOUR LIFE CARD

Who are you apart from your job identity on the business card? To get an identity outside work, create a business card for your life. What would your Leisure I.D. consist of? Identify yourself by a hobby, interest, or something you’d like to do or always wanted to. The main stipulation: Your Leisure I.D. can’t be about anything productive.

For example: John Smith/Jazz Aficionado, Laurie Collins/Dog Whisperer, Jay Ellsworth/Rock Climber

My Life Card I.D. is:

WHAT’S YOUR WORK RECOVERY/RECHARGING STRATEGY?

If we don’t have strategies to reduce stress and tension from the day, it accumulates day to day. We bring the stress back to work the next day, along with negative affect, also known as a bad mood. How can you step back, readjust the pressure, and restore your energy for the day’s second act?

RELAXATION STRATEGIES:

RECREATION STRATEGIES:

MASTERY STRATEGIES:

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FUN INVENTORY

Let’s take a look at your current level of recreational and social activities.

When are you at your happiest? Doing what kind of activities?

What leisure activities do you currently do? How often?

LIFE ASSURANCE What do you want to do on this planet for no other reason than the experience of it? Learn a language? Go to Italy? See the Amazon rainforest? 1. 2. 3. TAKEAWAYS List two takeaways from this training that can help make your work more effective and life more satisfying. 1. 2.

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COUNTERBALANCE REMINDER LIST Use this checklist below to bring a counterbalance to the day’s pressures: • Check email manually at set times. • Catch yourself to avoid time urgency and stress – Emergency or Speed Trap? • Use choice to opt out of guilt • Bring full attention and absorption to everything you do • Set the terms of engagement with devices and interruptions • Determine urgency and next actions for your to-do’s • Avoid multitasking • Prevent emotional reactions – “I don’t react” • Determine guidelines for stop times • Set boundaries and unplugged time between work and home • Reframe stress by disputing it • Don’t believe everything you think • Plan your weekend and after-work activities • Don’t grab the thoughts in your head, observe them and let them go • Practice stress reduction techniques • Put your life on the calendar every week

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