Wolcott High School School Counseling Department

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Transcript of Wolcott High School School Counseling Department

Communicating With Adolescents

Communicating With AdolescentsWolcott High SchoolSchool Counseling DepartmentWhats the line between friend and disciplinarian? How can I engage and encourage my student while I still have some concerns on my mind? Why do they shut me down every time I try to talk about important things?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ZpuA8_YYk Parenting is toughEvery student is differentEach student is facing unique challengesThat we dont know everythingThat you know your child bestWe KnowPlease write down a concern you have for communicating with your studentWe may not be able to speak specifically to your student, but we do have some data about students and communication in general.Based on the National PTA suggestions, we have Ten Tips to possibly help open communication between you and your childSo how can we help you?When your child actually does want to talk, try to stop what your doing and give them your full attention.Try to avoid jumping in until they have completely vented everything outeasier said than done, we know. Sometimes they just want to talk and not have it fixed (they feel more empowered when they solve the problem themselves)Try reflecting what they said so that they know you are listening and that they are being heard correctly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VOubVB4CTU Tip 1: ListenLet them know 2 or 3 options (and possibly consequences) they can choose fromLet them come up with different possibilities to the problemThis helps make the conversation a two way street rather than a power struggleOften they are able to work out solutions for themselves but just need to vocalize everything firstTip 2: There is power in choiceOnce again, easier said than doneThey are listening, even if you think its just a small passing remarkTry softening strong reactions or taking a time out before addressing the problem

Tip 3: Avoid saying things out of angerWhen a child confides in you, try to encourage them with the fact that they did talk to you about an issueIts difficult to admit mistakes and its even harder to tell it to a parent and feel like a disappointmentValidate their emotions, even if you disagree https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5yCOSHeYn4 Tip 4: Be a source of encouragementTry putting yourself in your childs shoes and see the problem from their point of viewThink about how difficult the conversation may be for your child and take time to think before you reactPossibly have a safe place where they can tell you whats happening that wont embarrass or feel on the defensiveThe carDinner

Tip 5: Make your conversations places of comfortTry not to take over the conversation and allow your child to respond Adolescents may feel like they are disappointing you and not open up if they dont have the right answers to shareWhen needing to discuss a disciplinary issues, try addressing the behavior or action and not the childTip 6: Avoid the drill routine or 20?sRandomly follow up on a previous conversation or subject of interestThis helps them to know that you listened and careTry telling them something that has happened in your day to start a conversationTip 7: Make a point of being an initiatorWe all have busy schedules, but taking the time to spend it with your child during the week is important too. Monthly game nights where they can even invite a friendWatching a movie togetherLearning something new togetherShoppingPlay a sport togetherHelping with homeworkhttp://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=extranormal+parents+kids+spending+time&FORM=HDRSC3#view=detail&mid=F85E51295FA7B506EF53F85E51295FA7B506EF53 Tip 8: Take time to shareSometimes admitting that you are human and make mistakes goes a long way in building that relationship. Tip 9: Apologize when you are wrongTell them that you love themTeens are still trying to figure out what love is and what it looks likesometimes if you dont say it overtly they dont think its thereShow your child that you love them for them, not just when things are going wellTip 10: Love themWhat you probably dont enjoy talking about, they probably like even lessStudents often model what they seeHow you express yourself or start a conversation often affects how they will reply

The apple doesnt fall far from the treeScenario from parent concerns

Discuss with your group possible solutions or ways to talk about it with you childHow can you help each other?