WINTER 2015 Women Cantors’ Network · 2016. 1. 13. · met with Maya and the family and...

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WINTER 2015 PAGE 1 Women Cantors’ Network Jacqueline Breines, President Gail F. Nalven, Editor President's Report We're connected, as women. It's like a spider web. If one part of that web vibrates, if there's trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we're just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don't help each other, who will? Sarah Addison Allen I am so proud to be a part of the Women Cantors’ Network. We are a group of (mostly) women who support each other unconditionally. It is always a delight to post a question to the listserv, and instantly receive a dozen or more answers! There are very few professional organizations that can boast such an extraordinarily supportive network, where information and experience are shared freely and members are truly embraced by each other. We are each other’s champions. We are each other’s advocates. We are each other’s friends. Madeleine Albright has said that there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. To paraphrase Ms. Albright: There is a special place in heaven for women who enthusiastically help other women. And having all of you in my corner is heaven on earth for me. Happy secular New Year to all of you! I can’t wait to meet up again in June. B’shalom, Jacqui YEEHAH! IT'S THE WCN CONFERENCE! Shine up your boots and dust off those hats! The WCN is returning to the Live Music Capital of the World: Austin, Texas, and we promise another amazing conference! Our theme: "Keep WCN Weird: Women Wired for Innovation" will cover the changing cantorate and how we can grow and support each other as Judaism expands within the traditional synagogue model, as well as the ever-growing "synagogue without walls" model. Technology and ever-changing demographics are ahead, and we will embrace those challenges, and embrace each other, with new and renewed friendships, superb sessions, fabulous food, and some seriously fun interACTIVE evening programing. Premiering our newest commissioned piece by Robin Joseph will be a highlight, along with a "taste of Austin" in story, song & dance. Lots of fun planned, utilizing both the OLDEST and NEWEST synagogue buildings in Texas. This will be a conference that will be talked about for years to come! Y'all come back now, y'hear? Robbi Sherwin Abby Gostein Francyne Davis Jacobs, Your Lone Star Hostesses!

Transcript of WINTER 2015 Women Cantors’ Network · 2016. 1. 13. · met with Maya and the family and...

Page 1: WINTER 2015 Women Cantors’ Network · 2016. 1. 13. · met with Maya and the family and recommended a few key books for her to spend time with, before and after her Bat Yisrael

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Women Cantors’ NetworkJacqueline Breines, President Gail F. Nalven, Editor

President's ReportWe're connected, as women. It's like a spider web. If one part of that web vibrates, if there's trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we're just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don't help each other, who will? ― Sarah Addison Allen

I am so proud to be a part of the Women Cantors’ Network. We are a group of (mostly) women who support each other unconditionally. It is always a delight to post a question to the listserv, and instantly receive a dozen or more answers! There are very few professional organizations that can boast such an extraordinarily supportive network, where information and experience are shared freely and members are truly embraced by each

other. We are each other’s champions. We are each other’s advocates. We are each other’s friends. Madeleine Albright has said that there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. To paraphrase Ms. Albright: There is a special place in heaven for women who enthusiastically help other women. And having all of you in my corner is heaven on earth for me. Happy secular New Year to all of you! I can’t wait to meet up again in June.

B’shalom, Jacqui

YEEHAH! IT'S THE WCN CONFERENCE!Shine up your boots and dust off those hats! The WCN is returning to the Live Music Capital of the World:

Austin, Texas, and we promise another amazing conference! Our theme: "Keep WCN Weird: Women Wired for Innovation" will cover the changing cantorate and how we can grow and support each other as Judaism expands within the traditional synagogue model, as well as the ever-growing "synagogue without walls" model. Technology and ever-changing demographics are ahead, and we will embrace those challenges, and embrace each other, with new and renewed friendships, superb sessions, fabulous food, and some seriously fun interACTIVE evening programing. Premiering our newest commissioned piece by Robin Joseph will be a highlight, along with a "taste of Austin" in story, song & dance. Lots of fun planned, utilizing both the OLDEST and NEWEST synagogue buildings in Texas. This will be a conference that will be talked about for years to come!

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Robbi SherwinAbby GosteinFrancyne Davis Jacobs,Your Lone Star Hostesses!

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NEW RITUAL CORNERA place to share new and transformed rituals that enhance our Jewish livesNew Solutions: Creating a Bat/Bar Yisrael Ceremony by Marsha Dubrow

Last fall, just before the High Holy Days, I was approached by a friend of a congregant a month before her great-niece’s milestone birthday to provide some kind of a coming-of-age ceremony for a young woman about to turn thirteen. The young woman in question, Maya, had had no formal Jewish education and her family had never been members of a synagogue or taken any particular interest in Yiddishkeit. Her mother was Jewish and father was

Japanese. Maya had an older brother who had had a Bar Mitzvah at an Orthodox synagogue in downtown Manhattan, but who himself, also, did not have any Jewish learning of any substance. The woman who approached me, Anne, was a member of an Orthodox synagogue in my community and had attended our Tisha B’Av observance last summer. Struck by the egalitarianism of our worship community, and my incorporation of instrumental music on the bimah, she had been returning ever since. It was she who contacted me, explaining that her brother, the child’s grandfather – a Yoga master -- wanted so much for her daughter to have some kind of Jewish celebration of this milestone in her life. She beseeched me to find a solution. After much reflection, I decided that although I could not in good conscience

provide the young Maya with a Bat Mitzvah, because for me it would fly in the face of everything I believe about the need for our young people to have Jewish knowledge and education in advance of such a designation and ceremony, I decided that I could in good conscience create a Bat Yisrael ceremony. In this ceremony, there would be an opportunity for Maya to be on the bimah, participate in the service, e.g. open and close the ark, march in the Torah parade around the congregation, give a talk about what it means to her to be Jewish, and receive a blessing from me, the Spiritual Leader of the congregation. Maya has two strong female Jewish role models in her family history, both Holocaust survivors, one who had saved many Jewish children by traveling east to Siberia, and another who managed to escape the Nazis in Poland. Her Hebrew name carries their names, and she had been taught their stories since a child. This is where her Jewish identity had been formed. Her great aunt spoke, as well, at the ceremony, and all her Jewish relatives had aliyot and other honors.

Prior to the day of the ceremony, during the High Holy Days, I met with Maya and the family and recommended a few key books for her to spend time with, before and after her Bat Yisrael ceremony: the Tanakh in English, the Prayerbook (Sim Shalom) and Ari Shavit’s My Promised Land. The family also attended Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services. And we all spoke at length about the meaning of becoming “a Jewish adult” and member of the Jewish community. In this way, Maya was honored with the feeling of being welcomed into the Jewish community as a young woman, but she also understands that the next steps belong to her. Should she choose to study further, the door is open, at any time, at any age. Perhaps one day she will choose to engage more deeply in broadening her Jewish knowledge and a time will come when she will be ready to be a Bat Mitzvah. As we all know, many people do not have such an occasion until much later in life. By creating a ritual that let Maya feel special as a young adult female Jew, but not quite yet with sufficient knowledge to know what the responsibilities of being a Bat Mitzvah carries, I hope to empower her to feel pride of inclusion, as well as incentivize her to further Jewish learning. A Bat/Bar Yisrael ceremony can serve as a prelude to Bat/Bar Mitzvah and allow an individual and her/his extended family to experience a rejoicing in this young Jewish family member’s coming of age in a spirit of inclusion and welcoming.

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So, there I was, pregnant with our first child. I had no idea what to expect, but figured I would be able to handle it. Then, I got asked to be the Hazzan Sheini of a very large congregation (a big feather in my cap). Halle was born three weeks before the High Holidays. I was asked to sit on the bimah, but only lead one or two prayers – really, just be up there as part of the clergy team. I agreed – I figured I was going to be at services anyway… Then, two weeks after Halle was born, Hurricane Ike hit. Our night nurse had the foresight to rent me a hospital grade pump. We evacuated to Dallas, but I didn’t remember to take the pump with me! We were there a week, then back in Houston at my dad’s house for a week (we didn’t have power at our house) before we could finally move back into our house three days before Rosh HaShanah. I don’t think I had used the pump very much at this point. So, there I was, on the bimah, bleary eyed and trying not to get too uncomfortable. The good news was that even though the clergy team (three rabbis, one rabbi emeritus, one cantor) were all male, they were all supportive. As I needed to, I went to the “nursing room” – set up in the Bride’s room – to pump. Which was fine until one of the rabbis cut through there because it was a short cut to the family service in the adjoining smaller sanctuary! Talk about being embarrassed (I am not sure if he or I was more embarrassed). At one point, some little girls came in there to hang out for a little while. They wondered what I was doing. That took a little explaining on my part. The congregation was good about giving me maternity leave. I took about ten weeks for Halle, and then started back slowly, sometimes bringing her with me. I had scheduled twelve weeks for David (at that point, I was working three-quarters time as the principal of the supplementary high school). It used up some of my vacation time, but I was okay with it. Then, my husband was away in trial for four months starting when David was two months old, so I took more time (reduced pay) and worked from home. I went in on Wednesday nights when I could, and eventually was back to my regular hours about four and a half months after he was born. The synagogue was mostly supportive of this – but at the end of that year, there were some changes coming for me and for them, and I resigned permanently. Congregants were mostly okay – even excited about us having kids. My husband used to bring Halle every week to services, Friday night and Saturday morning. He would hold her and rock her – and everyone commented on how good he was with her. Sometime he let the bubbies get their fill and hold her, too! They loved to joke about the fact that she had all of her Bat Mitzvah service requirements filled in her first year of life! Nobody was too “in our faces” or tried to give too much advice (welcome

or unwelcome). We really felt welcomed into the community…Halle was their little darling for a while. Eventually, the whole thing got easier. By the time I had Aaron, I wasn’t working full time anymore, nor was I doing congregational work. I am not saying you can’t do it working full time, because I did and I have plenty of friends who did, but for me it was easier not to be working full time.

Thankfully, I wasn’t like some of my friends, who had “letdown” or leaking every time they heard a baby cry. That would have been torture, because there are always children in services, especially when leading children’s services! So, here are the things I learned/the things that got me through: Pump – have a good breast pump. Today, there are so many kinds out there. And you can do it “hands free” with a special bra that straps around you and holds the pump parts in place. My morning routine was to strap on the pump and apply my makeup/do my hair at the same time – talk about multitasking!!! When I was working full time and in

my office, I would give my assistant the “signal” and close my door. I could answer emails and get work done while pumping, and then store it in the refrigerator in a little cooler. Remember that while nursing might go on for a while, the need to do it every three hours, four hours, even six hours is only for the first six months or so…eventually I got to a point where I could nurse or pump in the morning, then once midday, then nurse or pump at night. When it comes to services like High Holidays or something that is going to be very long, pump as close to the start of services as you can – and pump until close to “empty.” That way, even if you can’t get back to it for a while, you won’t be too uncomfortable. If you want to give the baby breast milk for a while, but don’t want to think about pumping for as long, pump extra and freeze it. Let people know that you are still nursing/pumping. Most people are very supportive of it – and in Jewish settings – we should be – as it is promoting family, closeness and a bond between mother and baby that should be nurtured. When I was leading High Holiday services at another congregation after David and Aaron, they understood. There was a break on Yom Kippur afternoon, and I used that time to eat a little and pump. They knew why I was drinking water on the bimah – because I let them know in advance.

Most importantly, listen to your body and to your baby. Do what’s right for the nursing pair. Sometimes that means nursing for a shorter time to keep your sanity. Sometimes that means figuring out a way to make it work for you, your baby and your job. Remember – you are the mom of this young baby only once – trust your instincts!

Breastfeeding on (well, near) the Bimah!by Francyne Davis Jacobs

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Women Cantors' Network ListServ PolicyPlease find an abbreviated list of our ListServ Policy guidelines. The complete guideline appears on our website. This List exists to serve the membership of the Women Cantors' Network. We are a network committed to supporting cantors and anyone interested in the cantorate. Our ListServe gives our membership the opportunity to network, provide support, and exchange ideas with regard to the cantorate. The following statements delineate the guidelines for participating on this ListServe:

1. Please identify yourself fully in your email if your email address does not do this or it's not obvious who you are.

2. Subject line of the e-mail should be specific to the subject which is being announced. If you are using a previously sent e-mail to write a new announcement, please change the subject line to agree with the subject of the new e-mail.

3. E-mails or announcements of events that are not germane to the purpose of this List are not permitted. 4. If you have found a particular cantorate-related organization to be helpful, and you would like to share that

with the membership, please be specific in the subject line.5. Because we are a true community, announcements of personal simchas, triumphs, tragedies, etc. are

considered appropriate, but please be specific in your subject line.6. Announcements of products or upcoming performances must be written as **personal messages** from

one member of this online community to all the others. In other words, please do not submit text simply cut and pasted from your commercial promotions, or text prepared by an organization, etc. Please direct the reader to reply to you OFF LIST for more information and/or list a website where further information may be found.

7. Please don't post announcements for other list subscribers. 8. Think before you hit that send button--always double-check the "To:" field before sending. If your reply

does not need to go to the entire list, please be sure to send it privately and off list. Compliments and kudos should be sent privately.

9. When sending attachments, please be sure that what you are sending is not copyright-protected if it is not your own work.

10. It's OK to suggest YOUR OWN work. Please try to keep the style more like a personal message, and less like an advertisement.

11. It's OK to suggest SOMEONE ELSE'S work. 12. Please do not ask for a copy of published music nor send anyone copies of published music without

permission of the composer. 13. Don't respond instantly. Take the time to look over message threads, and be sure you've read the most

recent posting on a topic before responding. This avoids needless duplication.14. Take the time to eliminate extraneous text. It's not necessary to include all the messages from an entire

thread in your reply. And please, if you receive the digest form, don't include the whole digest in your reply.15. Learn to agree to disagree. 16. Remember that all we do here on this list is ultimately lashem shamayim (for the sake of heaven, i.e., for a

sacred purpose).

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MEMBER NEWSMazel Tov to all those who published an article in Music, Carrier of Intention in 49 Jewish Prayers. WCN contributors include: Susan Colin, Judy Caplan Ginsburgh, Rosalie Boxt, Beth Hamon, Joy Katzen-Guthrie, Robbi Sherwin, Marci Vitkus, and Rebecca Schwartz. The book was published by Creating Calm Publishing Network, and is available on Amazon in soft back and Kindle format: http://tinyurl.com/mklnwwg. Music, Carrier of Intention in 49 Jewish Prayers is a window into the heart and spirit of a profoundly diverse Jewish prayer community. all those who contributed to The Spirit of Hope & Healing: Voices of the Conservative Movement including Mimi Haselkorn, Ellen Dreskin (as part of Beged Kefet), and Sharon Hordes. Robbi Sherwin and Sababa (Scott Leader & Steve Brodsky) with publications on Amazon: Thanksgiving: 'Stick a Fork in It' (Song of Thanks and Gratitude); two songs on the PJ Library Release, Blessings Love Music, a song on the Hope and Healing CD to benefit Ronald McDonald House and ASC Hope Lodge; and two songs on the upcoming release Kol Isha from Brandeis University Press and Reclaiming Judaism Press. Fran Avni on the release of her inspiring new

production of Kulanu: All of Us in Harmony (the preliminary version at the WCN conference was the first draft of the project). There is also a free beautiful PDF lyrics and liner notes booklet downloadable from http://

www.harmonyhappenings.com. She received a great review in the Canadian Jewish News, http://cjnews.com/sites/default/files/files/eCJN/2015/01-08-15-MTL.pdf, page 22. Deborah Katchko Grey on her four CDs: A Suite Shabbat, Shabbat Jam, Hanukkah Songs of Hope and Light, and A Musical Reunion. For more info, go to www.CantorDebbie.com.

Stephanie Weishaar on her appointment as the Spiritual Leader of Kol Nefesh, a new Reform congregation focused on young adults and families in Columbia, Maryland. Lori Laska Sumberg on her latest (2014) album release entitled, Farther to Run. This is Lori’s 4th singer/songwriter folk-rock album and includes two Hebrew/English songs. Available at www.CDBaby.com and iTunes. new Savtah Wendy Siegel on the birth of Emmett Martin Siegel, born on 12/13/14. Abby Gostein whose youngest son Aaron will become Bar Mitzvah on 2/28/15. Abby Gostein whose oldest son Daniel was selected to receive a Jackofsky Fellowship to attend the NFTY Convention in February. Judy Caplan Ginsburgh on the marriage of her son, Aaron Benjamin on 10/25/14. Judy Caplan Ginsburgh on being named a Woman of the Decade by the YWCA in a ceremony held at City Hall in her hometown on 11/13/14. Meara Lebovitz on her new position as the Judaic Director at the Betty and Milton Katz JCC in Cherry Hill, NJ. Deborah Katchko-Gray on the engagement of her son Aaron Samuel Zimmerman to Franki Jill Silverman.

NewsHinda Eisen Labovitz, Louise Treitman, Nancy Sargon and Phyllis Welin travelled with the Zamir Chorale of Boston to Berlin for the 4th annual Louis Lewandowski Festival. They sang in two concerts plus the grand finale with choirs from all over the world. For more information on the festival, check out: http://tinyurl.com/mbd7vyh.

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WCN9715 Burdine Houston, TX 77096

Women Cantors’ NetworkFounded 1982http://womencantors.net

Jacqueline Breines PresidentDebby Lewis Executive VPRobbi Sherwin VP of Special EventsJinny Marsh VP of CommunicationsRobin Sparr TreasurerBarbara Stambler Recording SecretaryFrancyne Davis Jacobs Corresponding Secretary Immediate Past President Geri ZellerDebbie Katchko-Gray Founding President Members at Large Marci Vitkus ! Tali Katz ! Meara LebovitzChana Karmann-Lente Website Manager Gail F. Nalven Newsletter EditorDonna Spencer Listserv Manager