Winning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy ... · • Keep the same situation in mind for...

Wednesday, October 10, 2018 Noon–1 p.m.

1 General CLE credit

Winning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

iiWinning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

WINNING PERSUASION: THREE STEPS TO ENHANCED ADVOCACY SERIES—STEP 1: PERSUASIVE COMMUNICATION

The materials and forms in this manual are published by the Oregon State Bar exclusively for the use of attorneys. Neither the Oregon State Bar nor the contributors make either express or implied warranties in regard to the use of the materials and/or forms. Each attorney must depend on his or her own knowledge of the law and expertise in the use or modification of these materials.

Copyright © 2018

OREGON STATE BAR16037 SW Upper Boones Ferry Road

P.O. Box 231935Tigard, OR 97281-1935

iiiWinning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Schedule . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v

Faculty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v

Presentation Slides: Persuasive Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

“Avoiding Communication Disasters” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

ivWinning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

vWinning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

SCHEDULE

Presented by Nancy Neal Yeend, TES: The End Strategy, Portland

11:30 Registration

Noon Step 1: Persuasive Communication

Individuals sharing the same communication style are more likely to listen and place a higher value on the information shared. Using a self-administered survey, determine your dominant communication style and identify the factors that encourage listening. Acquire skills so you can engage more persuasively with clients, opposing counsel, judges, and juries.

1:00 Adjourn

FACULTY

Nancy Neal Yeend, TES: The End Strategy, Portland. Ms. Yeend is a nationally recognized dispute management strategist and mediator. As a strategist, she has designed court-connect mediation programs, including Maryland’s first appellate mediation program, and she evaluates existing court ADR programs. As a mediator, Ms. Yeend handles real estate, employment, partnership, and related business cases. She served on California’s First and Third District Courts of Appeal Mediation Panels and cofounded Silicon Valley Mediation Group. She has served as faculty at the National Judicial College for 25 years and trained over 6,000 mediators nationally. In addition to writing many articles, her publishing credits include what some consider the seminal study of appellate ADR in state courts, State Appellate ADR: National Survey and Use Analysis with Implementation Guidelines (2d ed. 2002).

viWinning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

1Winning Persuasion: Three Steps to Enhanced Advocacy Series—Step 1: Persuasive Communication

Persuasive Communication

WithNancy Neal Yeend

CopyrightThese materials, Persuasive Communication, were

designed and developed by Nancy Neal Yeend for the Oregon State Bar's Lunch and Learn Series. All materials, including the PowerPoint, text and handouts, are intended to support the lecture and exercises for this presentation. No part of these materials may be circulated, reproduced, transmitted, or distributed for any purpose, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or scanning, without the express written permission of the copyright holder.


ObjectivesAfter this session, you will be able to• Differentiate the 4 communication

styles;• Identify the reasons why you listen to

some and not to others; and• Apply these principles to enhance

your representation and advocacy.

Communication StyleIndicator

• Read each question, and rank your responses: 4 is most like you and 1 is least like you—most of the time.

• Keep the same situation in mind for each question: talking to friends, family, co-workers, or strangers.

• Go with your first impulse.


What is your style?

• Intuitor• Sensor• Feeler• Thinker

Intuitor* Uses words that are: imaginative,

creative, innovative & conceptual.* Place a high value on ideas, theories

and plans.* Time orientation: future.


Sensor

* Uses words that are: pragmatic & assertive.

* Place a high value on getting things done without undue deliberation.

* Time orientation: present.

Feeler* Uses words that reflect: empathy &

emotion. Focus on the event and how it impacts people.

* Place a high value on interaction andread between the lines.

* Time orientation: past.


Thinker* Uses words that focus on: facts,

figures & data.• Place a high value on weighing

options, theories and plans.• Time orientation: tend to hear

all equally−no dominant.

What might you miss?What if your low is as an Intuitor?

What if your low is as a Sensor?

What if your low is as a Feeler?

What if your low is as a Thinker?

What will you miss?


Self Check

List 2 benefits of your dominant style:• 1.• 2.List 2 things you might miss because of

your less dominant style:• 1.• 2.

ConclusionUnderstanding your communication

style will enable you to

* Listen better to those who have a different style.

* Persuade others, thus enhancing your representation and negotiation skills.


The End Strategy

Thank You!

Nancy Neal [email protected]


Copyright © 2013 by the author.For reprint permission, contact the publisher: www.plaintiffmagazine.com 1

www.plaintiffmagazine.com

JANUARY 2013

BY NANCY NEAL YEEND

It is that time of year for makingNew Year’s resolutions, and I have oneyou may want to add to your list – thusavoiding costly communication mistakes.The following tips are designed to makeyour New Year brighter, and could evenmake you healthy, wealthy and wise. Well,maybe not the first two, but certainlywiser.

Your words matter

You may be an eloquent speaker;however, if you are not speaking the lan-guage of your audience, no one will hearyour message. There are four primarycommunication styles (languages), whichare associated with how the brain linksmeaning and significance to words. Un-less someone has an auditory impair-ment, people hear your words; however,if you are not speaking their language(communication style), your words havelittle relevance.

Four communication styles have beenidentified: intuitor, sensor, feeler andthinker. Although these terms are thesame as those associated with tempera-ment and personality type, there are dis-tinguishing characteristics. For thepurpose of this article, only communica-tion style is addressed.

Individuals, who use the “intuitor”communication style, will hear and re-spond to words that relate to concepts,theories and ideas – words that stimulatetheir imagination. Therefore if you say, “I have an idea of how we can resolve thiscase,” the word idea resonates with the in-tuitor and your message is received. It isworth noting that intuitors have a futuretime orientation, so your message reallyregisters if you say, “I have an idea of howwe can resolve this case. Next week wecan...” With these two sentences you have

used words that relate to ideas as well asthe intuitor’s future time reference point.

If you are speaking to “sensor” com-municators, you need to use words thatare direct, down-to-earth or pragmatic.Sensor speakers have a time orientation tothe present, so statements like, “We arehere today to settle this case,” or, “I thinkwe can get it done without undue delibera-tion,” resonates with a sensor listener.Again, the sensor hears your key words getit done and undue deliberation, while theword today connects to their time orienta-tion of the present.

Those who are identified as “feeler”communicators seem to demonstrate theunique ability to link events to the impacton people. It is not that individuals whouse other communication styles do notmake the connection; it is that feelers aremore likely to articulate emotions associ-ated with these events. The time orienta-tion for feeler communicators is the past.They are very interested in spending timeduring negotiations exploring what thingswere like before an event occurred. Somerefer to feeler communicators as “conflictarcheologists.” Word choices that resonatewith feelers may include, “I appreciate yourconcerns over the loss of your job, and wewant you to take this opportunity to sharewith us how your life has changed.” Again,key words like concerns and share have ahuman connection, so important to feelercommunicators. The feeler’s time orienta-tion to the past is captured with the wordslife has changed. It is important to remem-ber that if feelers are not permitted toemote, they will keep repeating, and theirbrain will keep running the tape of whatthey want to say, thus, they will not hearanything you are saying.

Listeners who use “thinker” commu-nication language tend to like data, factsand figures. No dominant time orienta-tion has been associated with this

communication style, so thinkers seem tohear all time references equally. A thinkercommunicator will get your messagewhen you use phrases like, “Please reviewthe data provided by our expert, and letme know your thoughts.” Communicatorswith the thinker style respond to wordswhere they can demonstrate their abilityto take in and process data. They relyheavily on detailed information, so whentalking to a thinker, using lists or referenc-ing things by numbers, such as, “Thereare three key elements,” is beneficial.

Based on the above, it is easy to seewhy some people just talk past one an-other – never seeming to hear what theother is saying. You need not panic andthink this is just too complicated to beuseful. All you need to do is listen to peo-ple speak. Do they use words that relateto the future, concepts or ideas? If so, theyare intuitors. If they speak about the pastand discuss how they feel about an event,then they are more likely feeler communi-cators. The simple key to get people tolisten to what you have to say, is speaktheir language. Incorporate a few wordsfrom several communication styles, andpeople will more likely get the messageyou are sending.

You may wish to consider takingthe two-minute Communication Style In-dicator (located on next page) to deter-mine your dominant communicationstyle. The indicator also identifies thecommunication style that you are leastlikely to hear. Improving your persuasionskills begins with speaking multiple lan-guages, which means honing your listen-ing skills to hear your least preferredstyle. Depending on the setting or con-text, you are able to use all communica-tion styles; however, you are more likelyto use one dominant style at work, saythinker, and then use a different style athome, like sensor.

Avoiding communication disastersIt pays to know which language style is understood thebest – whether you are the speaker or the listener




JANUARY 2013

It goes without saying that you needto listen and translate if people are notspeaking your language. For example, if

you are a thinker communicator, whichmany attorneys are, and you are listeningto a feeler speaker, it is not helpful for you

to think, “I wish this person would stopwhining!” You may need to say, so youlock in their statement and at the same

Directions: Read each question, and rank the four responses for eachquestion before answering the next question. Begin by placing a 4 nextto the response most like you, most of the time and a 1 next to the re-sponse that is least like you, most of the time. When you have markedthe two extremes, then go back and indicate which responses are 2 and3. As you read the questions, read the question with only one context inmind: office, home or with a stranger. Important: only take two (2) min-utes to rank the four responses for all five questions. Go with your firstimpulse, and do not analyze. You are more likely to get an accurate indi-cation of your style.

1. When I make decisions with others, I am likely to_____ a. discuss what was done before and consider how people felt.

_____ b.explore concepts and anticipate how things will be done in the future.

_____ c.clarify present circumstances and make quick decisions.

_____ d.analyze all the facts and options.

2. When communicating with others, I am _____ a. annoyed when people speak before they think.

_____ b.frustrated when people rehash old issues and take no action.

_____ c. impatient when people seem unwilling to explore options and possibilities.

_____ d.disappointed when people do not deal with emotions.

3. When confronted by people who hold a different point of view, I am likely to

_____ a. explore possibilities and encourage brainstorming.

_____ b.explain the logic of my perspective and evaluate theirs.

_____ c.consider current issues and practical ways to reach agreement.

_____ d.discuss the events that led to our different views and talk about why we feel the way we do.

4. When working on a project, I am likely to_____ a. find ways to involve everyone in satisfying interactions.

_____ b.develop a practical, realistic plan of action.

_____ c. research data, analyze, and develop logical and rational ideas.

_____ d. look at the “big picture” and create ways to be innovative.

5. When I am in a discussion, I am likely to

_____ a. focus on present issues and the practical steps to resolve them.

_____ b. look at the relationship between events and find innovative ways to move forward.

_____ c.note the emotions involved and ask people how they feel about what is happening.

_____ d.analyze the issues, remain objective and consider options.

Getting the TotalsTo obtain an approximate indication of your primary communication

style, enter the number you wrote next to each response, and then addto get your totals.

Intuitor Sensor Feeler ThinkerQ.1 b.____ c.____ a.____ d.____

Q.2 c.____ b.____ d.____ a.____

Q.3 a.____ c.____ d.____ b.____

Q.4 d.____ b.____ a.____ c.____

Q.5 b.____ a.____ c.____ d.____

Total ____ ____ ____ ____

Style IndicatorsIf you have a “high” number in one column, a total of 14 to 20, this

indicates your dominant communication style. A “low” number, a total of5 to 11, indicates the communication style that you are not likely to lis-ten to, and you will discount the information that speaker provides. Ifyou have the middle zone for all four styles, totals of 12 to 13, then itmeans for the context you had in mind as you answered the questions,you may not have a dominate style. It could also mean that this indicatorhad too few questions to identify your communication style.

(This document was designed by Nancy Neal Yeend and Bonnie Best. ©NancyNeal Yeend. No reproduction allowed without written consent of the author.)

Communication Style Indicator

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time indicate to the speaker that youheard what was said, “I understand youare dissatisfied with the manner in whichyou were terminated, and that you feel thatyour service to the company was not appre-ciated.” The first half of the sentence re-flects more of your thinker vocabulary,while the words in the second half of thesentence relate to feeler vocabulary. Youjust translated feeler emoting into thinkerby using enough humanistic words todemonstrate that you got the message.

The same technique works if a sensoris speaking with an intuitor. The sensor isin the here and now, while the intuitor isdreaming up a variety of options. Thesensor may say something like, “Why arewe spending so much time listening tothese hare-brained ideas?” The sensor wantsto make decisions now and not speculateabout possibilities, while the intuitor’s cre-ative mind is spinning with a number ofideas. One way to get the message acrossto the sensor, might begin with “Perhapsby taking a bit of time to be sure that all op-tions are on the table, we can actually savetime, and be out the door sooner, knowingwe have not missed something important.”Since the sensor wants things donequickly, pointing out the process will nottake too much time and time will be saved,resonate. Likewise, the intuitor hears alloptions and that nothing will be missed.Time differences magnify the disparitybetween communication styles. This is es-pecially true between intuitors (future) andfeelers (past).

No one needs to talk past someonewho has a different style. Just adding aword or two will make all of the differ-ence. The intuitor can get the thinker tohear ideas, so long as the intuitor suppliessome facts or data. Similarly, the sensor canhear the feeler by bringing the feeler to thepresent. Just saying something like, “Youhave carefully told me how wonderful andcaring your husband was when you werefirst married; now please tell me how youwant your life to look after the divorce.”The first half of the sentence includeswords that resonate with a feeler commu-nicator, while the second half of the

sentence uses the word now to bring thefeeler forward to the present. The state-ment concludes with after the divorce,which provides a further nudge to movethe feeler from the past and into the fu-ture!

Use your senses

The human brain records informationand experiences, which form a database, inone of five sensory areas: auditory, visual,kinesthetic (touch), olfactory (smell) or gusta-tory (taste). Generally, people have a pre-ferred sensory system, and tend to thinkand speak using those sensory words. Aswith any language, there are regional di-alects, so it may be helpful for you to thinkof sensory words as local jargon.

Lucky for you, most people typicallyonly use one of three sensory systems: au-ditory, visual and kinesthetic. Olfactoryand gustatory are used in a few regionsoutside of the United States, so identify-ing sensory words is that much easier.

So much for theory, how can you usethis knowledge to your advantage? It isvery easy to identify sensory speech. Forexample, a person who is a visual learnerand stores information associated withsight will say something like, “I see what youare saying.” On the other hand, a personwho takes in information by listening andlinks information to sound (auditory) willsay, “I hear what you are saying.” A kines-thetic speaker is a tactile learner, most likelya chronic note taker, who stores informa-tion associated with touch. The kinestheticresponse would include something like, “Iget what you are saying.”

It is important to understand thatwhen your sensory system is differentfrom those of the people you are speak-ing with, although they may hear yourwords, two important things happen: theyare more likely to discount what you are say-ing, and they are less likely to retain the in-formation you provide. You will need tospeak the local dialect, and use the lis-tener’s sensory frame of reference if youwant to persuade.

Mastering this skill may be accom-plished in two easy steps. First, identify

your dominant sensory preference. Areyou auditory, visual or kinesthetic? Of thefollowing three lists, which group ofwords and phrases are you more likelyto use?1) That rings a bell; I got an earful; Thatsounds like a winner; I got it word forword; and That’s just idle talk.2) He is shortsighted; It appears to me; Iknow beyond a shadow of a doubt; Inlight of what you just said; and That’s ahorse of a different color.3) I will pull some strings; They had aheated argument; Keep your shirt on; That’swhat it boils down to; and I will get in touch.

Hopefully, one of the groups in-cludes more of the words that you typically use. If the first group containsmore of your phrases, then your domi-nant sensory reference is auditory. If youpreferred the second group, then yourpredominant style is visual. Finally, if youpreferred the third group of phrases,then your frame of reference is kinesthetic.Everyone uses all three sensory refer-ences; however, for most people onesense will dominate. Listen to the wordsyou use for a day, and you will soonidentify a sensory theme.

Listening to others is step two. Youmay feel a bit awkward in the beginning,but within a very short period of time youwill pick up sensory cues. Initially practic-ing the techniques outside the office willbuild confidence. For many it is a revela-tion to go home and listen for sensorywords used by family members. By apply-ing these skills at home, teenagers mayeven learn to listen to their parents, andjust inserting the appropriate sensoryword can save marriages!

Final thoughts

Several factors influence communica-tion style and sensory preference, includ-ing profession and technology. In onestudy, first-year law students weretested to determine their dominantcommunication style. They were tested asecond time after they completed lawschool, and the results were striking.Entering law school the communication



JANUARY 2013


style percentages reflected the nationalaverage for type; however, after lawschool the majority of students werethinker communicators. It appears thatthe reward factor for being a criticalthinker in law school was substantialenough to change the students’ commu-nication style.

Sensory preference has changed overtime as technology has evolved. Earlystudies showed that the majority of peo-ple used auditory sensory references. Pre-technology, people just listened to oneanother, and then came the radio andtelephone, so auditory remained king.With the advent of movies, and then tele-vision, there was a shift towards visual.With the universal use of computers,phones with applications and other hand-held devices, kinesthetic references aregaining ground.

Listening to communication stylesand sensory word choices is actually bigbusiness. There are those who have beenknown to hire consultants to listen tojudges, and to determine their communi-cation style and sensory preferences. Pos-sessing that type of information allows anattorney to write a brief that may bemuch more persuasive to the judge.

Conclusion

New Year’s resolutions come and go,but this communication one should behere to stay. Once you integrate theseskills into your conversations, you will getyour message across, be more likely topersuade, and even improve your own lis-tening skills. This could make youhealthy, wealthy and certainly wiser.Happy New Year!

Nancy Neal Yeend isan experienced, nationallyrecognized dispute man-agement strategist and me-diator. As a strategist, shehas designed court-connectmediation programs, in-cluding Maryland’s firstappellate mediation pro-

gram; and she evaluates existing court ADRprograms. As a mediator, Nancy handles realestate, employment, partnership and relatedbusiness cases. She serves on California’s Firstand Third District Counts of Appeal Media-tion Panels. She co-founded Silicon ValleyMediation Group in Los Altos. Nancy hasserved as a faculty member at the National Ju-dicial College for 19 years, and has helpedtrain over 5000 mediators. Her publishingcredits include what some consider the seminalstudy of appellate ADR in state courts.



JANUARY 2013

Yeend

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