Why Would Anyone Want to Leave the Comforts of the US and Return to India

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Ill write this reply as an American with lots of Indian friends, Indian wife and having

spent a lot of time in various parts of India.

1. Neither system is perfect. The United States isnt even close to perfect. But neither

is India. Everyone here has cited examples of positives and negatives on both sides

and i have some of my own.

a) One thing that really upsets me in India is that people dont pull over for

ambulances. It could be your own grandmother dying in that ambulance, but drivers

in India dont move for that ambulance.

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Brendan Stewart (https://www.quora.com/profil
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b) Conversely, here in the United States, a mother could give birth to a child in a

hospital and once the child has been born, they are left alone with barely any care in

a hospital room. They are hurried to leave the room and go back home. These things

would never happen in India. There are always lots of people around to take care of

you and help you with various things, even outside of immediate family.

My point being that there are positives and negatives on both sides.

2. Nostalgia vs. Practicality. I fell in love the first time i went to India in 1999. I loved

the chaos, the culture, the festivals and social scene, i thought it was all great. Im

not one of those Americans that stayed in Taj Hotels and hired drivers to go

everywhere. I stayed at local small places, took the train and bus and forced myself to

integrate. And i remember thinking to myself, how can my friends from India living

in the US be happy in the United States? But, i was in India as a tourist until i met my

wife. And coming to India as a tourist and living in India are two entirely different

things. As a tourist of any country, typically you are seeing the best that country has

to offer. Not the reality of day-to-day stuff.

a The luster of India wore off on me once I became an OCI and our family had to do

administrative actions. We had to change ownership of some land at a mini-

secretariat in Gurgaon. Holy shit. What a nightmare, we were put in a long queue,had to wait for workers to finish lunch. Bribed a guy to get us through the line faster,

visited over 10 different serving windows for various checks. Had to pay a lawyer to

print a paper, come back and bribe some CM to approve the land sale, How does this

system function?

b My wife and I went to the Post Office in Gurgaon and tried to redeem her 401k

pension thing (I forget the name of this) and the Post Office was a completenightmare as well. I had these sweaty railroad workers pushing on me and yelling at

people behind the counter. It was absolute chaos.

c On the Delhi metro and witnessing young men not letting old ladies sit down. For

me that is unacceptable. Its basic human decency. Nothing about culture here.


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Anyhow, my point here is this I used to wonder how my friends from India could

live in the United States, based on the cultural differences, the great food, the strong

social/family circles etc. I thought they lost a lot of that coming to America.

Until i had to live like a local Then it started to make sense to me. All the

aggravation, of simple tasks, the impossible morning/evening commutes, bribes to

make people just do their basic jobs like it was a favor to me, hiring someone to clean

my flat, clean my car, tiffen service, all these little things, it adds up.

So i personally think its a matter of Nostalgia vs Practicality For some people

nostalgia is stronger than practicality and for others practicality is more important

than nostalgia

Who is to say which way is better? Its a very personal decision.

Lets take a few other things into account,

3. Future-Proofing. India is progressing at an amazing rate. For example, just look at

how people celebrate Holi in a village vs. a city. Its not even close to the same thing.

Villages still breathe and live authentic old-school Indian life. In cities, a bunch of

people plan to meet, throw some color a little bit (Mostly rubbing some on

themselves) and they call this Holi. Same can be said for Diwali. Not the same incities vs. Villages.

20 years from now, itll be like Christmas in the United States. Just pageantry. The

real meaning of the festivals will be lost in cities especially.

Look at the way children are raised today. Men taking care of their parents is

becoming less and less standard each and every year.

My point here is, while many of you (And even myself) have very fond memories of

the older India, the fact of the matter is that when any culture progresses they start

to lose their culture and identity. And India is not immune to this problem.

I suspect 20 years from now, if we were to have this same conversation, the nostalgia

factor would be much less in Indias favor, just because India is changing so rapidly.


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My personal hope and belief is that India doesnt lose its identity. Its such a rich

culture and fun country, i hope it never changes. But nobody can stop progression.

And i cant be selfish enough to hope that those in poverty situations cant pull

themselves out of that.

Next up, my controversial points

4. Challenge Yourself.Some people commented here, that you have to take care of

everything yourself. You dont have a maid, a driver, a cook etc. I think that everyone

should challenge themselves in life. While it is nice to have these luxuries, it also

makes you very dependent on other people for even basic things. Every MAN, should

know how to cook basic food. How to clean their own clothes, how to drive a car. How

to paint a wall.

When I see people complaining that they have to do stuff themselves here in the

United States, I think these are the first people that will want to back to India. Dont

you want some measure of independence? Dont you want to know how to be a useful

human being? If your money source went away, wouldnt you need basic skills to

survive on this planet?

Case in point I was mowing my lawn and trimming hedges the other day, my father

in law was taking a video of me doing this. And i asked why. He said, because in India

wed never do this ourselves. Cleaning my own car, hed never done it before.

So while on the one hand, i like the idea of paying someone else to do stuff for me,

there is a certain satisfaction in learning to do things yourself. Some people catch the

independence bug. Others just want people to do stuff for them. Dont fall into the

trap of having someone else do everything for you, be a self-sustaining human being.

I promise you, there is satisfaction in it.

5. Schooling vs. Knowledge. While you may have been a topper in your class, that

doesnt do much for you when you need to fix a door lock. Or install a speaker on

your car. Schooling is great, knowledge is power. But so is practical experience. Also,

Indian educations dont focus much on history outside of India. I was surprised to


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learn from my wife how insular India is when it comes to geography and world

history. If you ask the average Indian if India participated in WWII, they dont even

know that they did.

My point here is that you can be book smart, you can be the topper on your favorite

subject. But to be really smart, you need to be a well rounded human being. You need

to know what goes on outside your own country. You need to question authority,

around the world and ask why things are the way they are.

6. Integration.

I take particular offense to this point. Listen, the United States

population is no more racist than Indians. I understand enough Hindi to know what

people say behind my back. (Gora, foreigner) etc.. if you think Indians are any less

racist than Americans, you havent been on the receiving end, within India. I have.

Honestly, from what Ive noticed, there are two types of Indians that come to the

United States. Or probably any foreign country for that matter.

a) The Indian that is open to integrating with other cultures besides other Indians.

b) Those that only congregate with other Indians.

If you fall under (a) you are opening your mind to the way other cultures think, the

foods they eat, the adventures they embark on. Living this life in my opinion is much

fuller than just hanging around other people of the same culture.

Why do people travel this world? Why do people want a genuine/authentic

experience in a foreign land? Because we want to learn about new cultures. How can

you not get tired of your own culture from time to time? The planet is very large and

the system you grew up with isnt always the best. Wouldnt it be better to integrate

with many cultures and learn from them?

Otherwise, how could you be objective about your own culture? You couldnt. In my

opinion, its imperative that all of us integrate. We all need to take a chance on

attending a party of people not like ourselves. We all need to sometimes let ourselves

be vulnerable to strangers. Otherwise how can you grow as a person?


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Here in America, I see many groups of Indians especially in IT, that only go to lunch

with other Indians. On their weekends, they only meet with Indians. How boring is

this? What would happen if you invited your (Gora) coworker to lunch with your

Indian group one day? Wouldnt that be fun to exchange ideas and differences?

Integration is a two way street. Take a chance, you may be surprised with the result.

Finally.First and foremost, im an American and a patriot. I love my country. But part

of love is also recognizing ones faults. America has many faults. As does any country.

But i also love India. What an amazing country. From the richest to the poorest

person, you can learn from everyone in India. They all have unique stories to tell and

lessons to be learned. Some of my most cherished life experiences have occurred in

India, simply because of the chaos, the traffic, the bribery, without these differences,today id still think the entire world is just like the United States.

Surprise.This may come as a surprise, but i want to retire in India. I want to retire in

India for the same reasons that a lot of people here miss India. The nostalgia factor.

Ive had so many great interactions with various people in India, but its not just that.

There is an electricity, a sort of rhythm in India. Something that just cant be

measured with todays instruments. That doesnt occur here in America. America willalways be my home and my heart. But there is some immeasurable attraction to

India. Its such a diverse and vibrant country.

My final days will be spent in India.

Follow @logicalindians

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COMMENTS

The Logical Indian community is diverse. While commenting, please respect other's views and refrain

from using profane/abusive words as such comments will be filtered during moderation.

27 Comments Sort by

Geoffrey Mcneil Davies

UK white man here....Wife from India, after our daughter was born we decided to bring her up inIndia (Bangalore)...I have lived in both countries, India is a lot better than the UK...Trust me !!

Like Reply 31 16 hrs

Ashok Raja Sritharan Works at Infosys

Good to hear that. As an Indian(born and lived most of my life in India), I have lived a

few years in the UK and USA. I don't agree with your statement though...

Like Reply 10 hrs

Shayan Chatterjee UCL

Indian born living in the U.K. here...what makes India better than U.K.? Isn't life much

easier in U.K.?

Like Reply 1 9 hrs

Ankita Das Founder and Owner at IWOWD Skincare

I know India is lot better than UK, I have been there but USA is still better than both of

them.

Like Reply 3 hrs

Abhishek Acharya R.S.V. Bikaner

If you take something from quora, at least mention the source !

Like Reply 6 12 hrs

Pritish Patil Sir M. Visvesvaraya Institute of Technology

This article is definitely written by an Indian, specifically a woman, and not by some foreign guy.

(Psychological analysis)

Like Reply 4 14 hrs

James Thuppayath

You must've failed Psychology class.

Like Re l 18 12 hrs

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Gangadhar Reddy Narala IIT Bhubaneswar

I too felt like you Pritish.. But comparision is awesome.

Like Reply 2 11 hrs Edited

Arnab Ganguly Save Indian Family Mumbai

Not sure what you mean by "Men taking care of parents" , " Men not giving seats to women" ,

you seem to have absolved the women of all responsibility and accountability. When in rising

India would women also be expected to take care of their parents and not demand seats in

trains.

Like Reply 3 15 hrs Edited

Ramath Mallikarjuna Naik B.tech student at IIT Guwahati

hey he said old ladies..

Like Reply 1 14 hrs

Pulkit Chandra Writer at Slip Of The Thumb

The disparity in the sex ratio and the lack of courtsey and decency (not everyone) in

India beats that we ever will reach that stage where women will not have to demand

seats in trains.

Like Reply 1 12 hrs

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