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Why Plain Language Matters, and

Why You Should Care

Dr. Deborah S. Bosley

Owner and Principal, The Plain Language Group

deborah@theplainlanguagegroup.com

704.641.1334

All material is copyrighted.

1. What is the problem?

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Here’s the Agenda

1. What is plain language?

2. How can universities benefit?

3. What are the problems?

4. How do we know it works?

5. What laws | regs require plain language?

6. What are plain language strategies?

Which is best, and why?

1. The medication could make you

obtunded. You might become ataxic

and degenerate into emesis.

1. Experiencing the loss of

consciousness and the expulsion of

stomach matter could be a result of

taking this medication.

2. This medicine could make you pass out. You

also might become dizzy and vomit.

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1. What is plain language?

• Plain language is the use of

proven writing and designing

strategies that make it easy for

the intended audience to find,

understand, and use information.

• Clear | Credible | Concise

Myths about plain language

• means dumbing down

• oversimplifies or changes

the meaning

• means just changing words

• subverts legal terms of art

• does not work as well as

traditional legal language

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Plain language concept 1:

citizens

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The golden rule of communication

• communicate unto others

• as they would communicate

unto themselves

Plain language concept 2:

communication

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The golden rule of communicationPlain language concept 3:

clarity

Plain language concept 4:

comprehension

• disclosure ≠ comprehension

• information ≠ communication

• facts and accuracy ≠ understanding

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2. How can your university benefit

from using plain language?

• meet or exceed compliance

• be truly transparent

• restore public trust

• make values clear

• maintain integrity

• manage risk

• increase satisfaction

• affect the bottom line

People have a right to understand the

information that affects their lives.

3. What are emotional problems?

• anger

• fatigue

• frustration

• expectations

• helplessness

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3. What are emotional problems?

• "One can be caught up in Euro-American

hegemony within the vernacular, and one

can repeat the masculinism and

heterosexism of vernacular culture.

Vernacular language and cultural

productions allow the possibility of

discursive power disruptions, of cultural

resistance — they do not guarantee it.”

• Rick Scott, the governor of Florida,

assured delegates heading to the GOP

convention after a hurricane in 2012 that

"there is not any anticipation there will

be a cancellation."

3. What are the context problems?

• false value of complexity

• faculty and staff time

• administrative communication

• benefit explanations

• financial aid applications and information

• university code of ethics

• information for the public

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3. What are content problems?

Most administrative documents

• have long sentences (40+)

• have dense paragraphs

• lack steps | processes

• are wordy | too much jargon

• sound like legalese or computer-speak

• lack sufficient headings and lists

• are illogically organized

• lack design that aids readability | skim-ability

• need tables, graphs, visuals

• include incomplete information (usually “how?”)

• lack consistency

3. What are the image problems?

• Study from Stanford University:

71 students evaluated writing samples:

“easy,” "moderately complex" to

"highly complex”

• As complexity increased, readers’

estimate of author's intelligence declined.1

1 Oppenheimer, D. M. “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: issues with Using

Long Words Needlessly.” Applied Cognitive Psychology. March 2006.

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• High-quality learning

environments are a necessary

precondition for facilitation and

enhancement of the ongoing

learning process.

• Children learn best in good schools.

See what I mean…

BEFORE

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AFTER

All research members of the University community must

• conduct their research with integrity, intellectual honesty,

accuracy, and objectivity;

• engage in research that advances knowledge in the field;

• demonstrate accountability for sponsors’ funds;

• comply with specific terms and conditions of contracts and grants; and

• have the appropriate regard for human and animal subjects.

Institutional review boards will review all research involving human

subjects. Institutional animal care and use committees will review all

research involving animal subjects.

Members of the University community engaged in research must not

• fabricate data or results;

• change or knowingly omit data or results to misrepresent results in

the research record; or

• intentionally use the ideas, writings, research, or findings of others

without citations.

4. How do we know plain language works?

Notre Dame: corporations that use plain

language in shareholders communication

increase money investors bring into their company.1

U of Nebraska: firms with high corporate

reputations use less varied, shorter, and more

concrete words than low reputation firms.2

Legal docs: plain language improved comprehension

from 15% to 36%.3

1 Loughran, T. and McDonald, W. Plain English, Working Paper, Mendoza College of Business.2 Gebbart, J. and Lawrence, J. Predicting Firm Reputation Through Content Analysis of Shareholders’ Letters.

Corporate Reputation Review. Vol. 11, No. 4, 284-307.3 Masson, M. and Waldron, M.A. Comprehension of legal contracts by non-experts: Effectiveness of plain language

redrafting Applied Cognitive Psychology, Volume 8, Issue 1, pages 67–85, February 1994

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Provision in fee agreement: BEFORE

The client understands that any estimates provided by

the Firm of the magnitude of the expenses that will be

required at certain stages of any litigation asserting a

cause of action are not precise, and that the kinds and

amounts of expenses required are ultimately a function

of many conditions over which the Firm has little or no

control, particularly the extent to which the opposition

files pretrial motions and engages in its own discovery

requests, whether in the nature of interrogatories,

depositions, requests for production, or requests for

admission, or any other type of discovery allowed by the

rules of procedures in the forum in which the dispute is

pending. 110 words; 1 sentence; 48th grade

Provision in fee agreement: AFTER

A firm’s estimate are just that:

estimates. Conditions outside

the firm’s control, especially the

other side’s pretrial motions and

discovery requests, may raise or

lower expenses. 26 words; 2 sentences; 12th grade

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5. What laws | regulations

affecting higher ed require plain language?

• HIPAA

• ERISA

• Dodd-Frank

• Plain Writing Act of 2010

• CFPB: 2012

http://www.consumerfinance.gov/plain-writing/

• US Department of Education

o FAFSA

http://higheredcompliance.org/matrix/index.html

http://www.higheredcompliance.org/matrix/

Huh? Huh?

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6. What are plain language strategies?

1. write for intended audience | citizens

2. organize for readers’ needs

3. use active voice

4. use pronouns

5. use positive language

6. be succinct

7. avoid jargon: use common words

8. write short sentences (15-18 words)|

9. write short paragraphs (up to 5 sentences)

10. use headings (3-5 per page) and lists

11. include visuals (tables, figures, etc.)

12. test document for readability

University of California

• include table of content

• increase visual appeal

• use tables for easier

understanding

• define words in context

• eliminate some legalese

• sound more helpful

Columbia University

http://policylibrary.columbia.edu/files/policylib/imce_sh

ared/AdminPolicyWritingGuide.pdf

How to write university policies

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• decide in 5 seconds (or less)

• read 28% slower online

• use documents as reference

• read “just in time”

• interpret and create meaning

• explain to others

• phone for clarification

How do readers read?

• Investigators of the contractor will review the facts in

your case and decide the most appropriate course of

action. The first step taken with most Medicare health

care providers is to re-educate them about Medicare

regulations and policies. If the practice continues, the

contractor may conduct special audits of the providers

medical records. Often, the contractor recovers

overpayments to health care providers this way. If

there is sufficient evidence to show that the provider

is consistently violating Medicare policies, the

contractor will document the violations and ask the

Office of the Inspector General to prosecute the case.

This can lead to expulsion from the Medicare

program, civil monetary penalties, and imprisonment.

BEFORE

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We will take two steps to look into at this matter:

1. We will find out if this situation was

an error or fraud.

2. We will let you know the results in

approximately six weeks.

AFTER

Use common words and phrases

• BEFORE: NO PERSON HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED TO

GIVE ANY INFORMATION OR MAKE ANY

REPRESENTATION OTHER THAN THOSE CONTAINED OR

INCORPORATED BY REFERENCE IN THIS BULLETIN OF

POLICIES, AND, IF GIVEN OR MADE, SUCH INFORMATION

OR REPRESENTATION MUST NOT BE RELIED UPON AS

HAVING BEEN AUTHORIZED.

44 word sentence, 25th grade

• AFTER: You should rely only on the information

contained, or referred to, in this policy or that we have

referred you to. We have not authorized anyone to

provide you with different information. 16 words average, 12th grade

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• 43% likely to be persuaded

• 25 - 40% less time

• 38% better retention

• satisfies two modes of

processing information

Use visual elements

Use visual elements

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Use headings and lists

• How do you receive reimbursement

for University travel?

• What factors do we use to

determine eligibility?

• How do you report violations of policy?

Before and After

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All University travel explained below must comply with the University Travel Policies

stated in this Bulletin. All official travel must be properly authorized, reported, and

reimbursed according to University Policy. Unless otherwise stated, the University will

not reimburse or fund personal travel expenses.

Non-University Entities: If a University employee’s travel is sponsored by a non-

University entity, no travel expenses, including airline tickets, advances, prepayments,

or billings, should be charged or billed to the University.

Expense Standards: University employees traveling on official business must use

normally accepted standards in the type and manner of expenses they incur. In

addition, travelers must report their travel expenses accurately and ethically.

IRS Rules: The University’s travel reimbursement procedures conform to the

“accountable plan” rules published by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). Therefore,

reimbursing an employee’s travel expenses must not result in additional taxable

income to the employee. However, the IRS does consider some types of travel

expenses to be both taxable and reimbursable:

• Expenses for travel in excel of one year

• Certain travel expenses related to moving a new appointee ...

Standards of ethical conduct: BEFORE

5. Compliance with applicable university policies, procedures and

other forms of guidance

University policies and procedures are designed to inform our

everyday responsibilities, to set minimum standards and to give

University community members notice of expectations. Members of

the University community are expected to transact all University

business in conformance with policies and procedures and

accordingly have an obligation to become familiar with those that

bear on their areas of responsibility. Each member is expected to

seek clarification on a policy or other University directive he or she

finds to be unclear, outdated or at odds with University objectives.

It is not acceptable to ignore or disobey policies if one is not in

agreement with them, or to avoid compliance by deliberately

seeking loopholes.

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Standards of ethical conduct: AFTER

5. Complying with university policies, procedures, and other forms of guidance

University policies and procedures

• explain our everyday responsibilities,

• set minimum standards, and

• establish expectations of University behavior.

Members of the University community must

• conform with University policies and procedures,

• understand those policies and procedures that affect areas of responsibility,

• seek to clarify a policy or University directive that is unclear, outdated, or at odds with

University objectives.

We may not ignore or disobey policies even if we disagree with them. We also

may not avoid complying by looking for loopholes.

Certain University employees are governed by professional ethical codes or

standards such as attorneys, auditors, physicians, and counselors. We expect such

employees will comply with their professional standards as well as laws and

regulations.

Readability

TEST BEFORE AFTER

# of words 157 127

# of sentences 16 19

average # words per sentence 26 14

grade level 23 15

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• test with real users

• 5 - 8 people for 90% of

problems

• revise based on feedback

• decreases call-ins, confusion,

misinformation

• increases clarity, compliance,

goodwill, trust

Conduct usability tests

Reach your goals