case: 227768

“who killed artie choke?” - a carrot crusader adventure

detective in charge: chris saunders

zoom in on buildings shot

home to the weird and wonderful,

rich and poor, the drab and the

dramatic...

...speaking of dramatic, who’s this

figure swinging silently through

these modern moonlit monoliths?

Like a shadow, he cuts through the

night, ever-vigilatnt for the musky

smell of crime... At the peak of physical fitness, his muscles are

coiled like springs...

Sirens up ahead... the sound of trouble

...he can leap between rooftops like you or I would jump a

small puddle!

why, it’s the CARROT CRUSADER of course!

(hero shot)

our story begins in the concrete

jungle of Tabasco, the chilli city

landing shot

un-afraid, our hero calls upon his trusty grappling hook to help him survey the area

- a purpose-built, pocket-sized peacekeeping powertool, that performs practically

perfectly without problem or pause...- I think you see my point!

And now dear reader, prepare for

twists, turns and turnips, as together,

we try to solve the mystery of...

...who killed artie choke? by chris Saunders

...look what we just found lying

in the victims juice...

E. King: wait... isn’t that one of your throwing

knives...?!

s.p.u.d: freeeeze!!

forensic guy: you cheif! You’re gonna

want to take a look at this...E. King: Mind your footing son, this whole area’s covered in juice...

S.p.ud: Halt! Or we’ll shoot! ... s.p.u.d: ...open fire!!

CC: (thinking)Some one is trying to frame me...

CC: Who’s the victim chief? E. King: Vic’s name is artemis chalk, aka ‘artie

choke’ - a known snitch. looks like someone

tore his heart straight outta him.

cc: (thinking) ...but who? why?

cc: as a well known snitch, artie choke and those like him were more of an aset than a

hinderance to those they worked for, used to deliberatly leak controlled information,

to rival gangs, or the authorities, as a distraction techique... a hazardous profession, but

considered by most to merely be pawns in a larger game... dupes, not usually targeted

for vengence...

cc: ...and to have his heart brutally

torn from his chest... was it some

form of warning to other snitches?

CC: ...if so, it’s definitely a step up from

the previous snitch-related murder...

CC: ...huh?!CC: the police crime tape, it’s broken!

zoom in on severed tape

cc: someone’s been in there

since the murder took place!

CC: last week another infamous snitch known as Huggy pear was gunned down in the

alley behind the club that he owned - a dead-disco dive know as the fruit fly. as he

was killed by a gun-shot would to the head - a favourite method of dispatch among

his often villainous clientelle - both the police and myself assumed it was gang re-

lated, and I left them to it.. after all, the S.P.U.D have a whole unit for gang-warfare.

cc: but what if that wasn’t it... what

if someone is deliberatly knocking

off snitches? ... a cereal killer?

CC: I need to return to the cave, search

the data bases for any other connections

bewteen these two victims... see if they

share a common enemy...

cc: I have the feeling there’s going to be

much more to this case than a simple vegicide!

- long frame showing the carrot crusader working his way

through the city (over rooftops/climbing walls/sliding down

roofs) making his way back to his car -

- drops down into a dark alley next to

something covered in a big grey tarp -

- pulls back grey tarp to reveal shiny orange car (the carrot

mobile?) - *big frame to show off car, which appears very small

in upcoming frames*

- engine’s roar echo’s off buildings - - car leaves tabasco city via a big (golden gate-like)

bridge into the countryside-

- close up on carrot crusader in the

car looking cool (emphazing it is

indeed him that is driving) -

- zoom out to reveal the car is quite far into the

countryside now, silhouette of city in background -

- car approaches a large mansion, the road curves up towards

it, and it looks as though that’s where the car is going... -

- ...but it actually goes into the

drive/garage of a normal looking house

on the side of the road! -

- floor of the garage lowers into a secret

compartment under the house, dummy car

lowers into garage to hide the lift -

- a vaccuum tube pod big enough for a

person is on standby -

changing costume shot

- cc has walked into a vaccuum tube

labelled ‘daily intake’, indicating a

tube that will take him straight

there. A robot arm loads the right

costume in the tube and he starts

to get changed into it -

- the pod zooms off down it’s tube into a massive underground cavern,

you can see high-tech equipment in the background, as well as tubes

leading off in all directions -

Cc: computer: access the police statement

footage from the recent murder of subject

id: ‘huggy pear’ - display on main screen

peachie: inspector king, what can you tell us

about the victim? who might want him dead?

E.King: unfortunatly due to special

circumstances I am unable to divulge any

details about the victim, but i can tell you we

are treating this as a gang-related murder,

and are dealing with it accordingly. thank you.

cc: those ‘special circumstances wer due

to huggy being a police informant, but he’s

been in trouble before, maybe there’s a

clue in the daily intake’s archives...

CC: ...besides, if I want to get anything out

of chief king, he’s not going to be able

to speak to the carrot crusader right

now... maybe it’s time for a quick change

- cc emerges from the basement of

the daily intake in his disguise as... -

peachie: Nelson Nantes! What are you

doing sculking around down here? checking

the archives are we?

peachie: hmph, i’m almost impressed!

I had the same hunch! but this well’s

all dried up I’m afraid - zero files

on this ‘huggy pear’ character in

the archives... suspicious don’t you

think? looks like you’ll have to try

another source!

cc: cc: (thinks) time for plan b...

cc: hey romano! Chief king busy?

romano: Nelson! how’ve you been lad?

he’s in his office, but be careful, he’s

not in the best of moods today!

E.King: make this quick boy, thanks to this

whole mix-up with the carrot crusader, i’ve got

a lot on my plate right now...

CC: sure chief, I was wondering what you could

tell me about the huggy pear case?

E.king: well despite the fact that we

weren’t supposed to be releasing that

name until tomorrow, I figured that

was why you were here - here’s the

case file on huggy pear, knock your-

self out.

cc: oh, hey peachie! you’re a long way

from the newsroom! er yeah... I

thought i would check up on the guy

from that murder case last week -

see if there are any links to this new

case the spuds are trying to keep

quiet...

E.King: now if you’ll excuse me, i’ve

got to stop all my investigations

into this case, as i have a fugitive

superhero on the loose - if i were

the carrot crusader, i’d stay well

out of my way tonight!

- It appears there could be a

secret room! -

- cc spends the next few hours pouring

over huggy’s case file - some of the re-

ports go back decades... -

- suddenly he spots something when

comparing two photo’s taken of the

fruit fly’s basement... -

- CC rushes out of the room to

investigate, slamming the door

behind him -

- cc returns to the fruit fly later that

night (now back in his crusader costume) -

- uses a device (carrot shaped) to

disable the alarm and unlock the

door-

- the club is dark inside, cc heads

towards the stairs that lead to the

basement... -

- ...and goes down them -

- he finds the wall featured in the

photograph... -

- and proceeds to hunt all over for the secret switch that will open it up -

- eventually he tires of looking, and in sheer

frustration... -

- ...he kicks the wall/door down (showing for the first time emotional distress

about being framed for a crime he didn’t commit) -

- *wide shot of inside the secret room* it’s empty - aside from the shattered remains

of the wall/door there is nothing in the room but a few electricity cables, some

slightly luminescent goo, and something shiny on the floor...-

- cc investigates the goo, and takes a sample. The same goo is on the shiny

object, which turns out to be another replica of cc’s own throwing knives,

same as at artie chokes’ crime scene -

- cc compares this new throwing

knife to one of his own - they are

almost indistinguishable -

- he scans it using a gadget

hoping to identify the goo or

pick up a fingerprint... -

close up shot of

scanner’s screen?

- ...but the scanner doesn’t recognise

either, labelling them as ‘unknown’ -

cc: ‘unknown’? I knew this was more than

mere gang-warfare... looks like i’m

going to be spoiling the chiefs night

after all...

- cut to outside 5th precinct, a wary looking

edward king appears to be going home for the

night... -

- as he gets to his car, he see’s a carrot

shaped note attached to his windscreen -

“you and I both know i’m being framed - i

have new evidence relating to this case i

think you should see - meet me at the docks

at 11pm - come alone. The Carrot Crusader”

- it’s 10: 58, edward king is at the docks waiting for

the carrot crusader -

close up shot of evidence bag

- on the boardwalk in front of him, there is a small

evidence bag, there is a carrot symbol on it -CC: 11:59 - prompt as ever I see chief!

e.king: ‘it’s the early sprouter that catches

the days best sun’, as they say, or in this case,

a renegade murder-suspect in a cape...

- CC indicates the evidence bag, edward

king moves to pick it up -

cc: now chief, if you really thought I had killed

artie choke, you wouldn’t have come here by

yourself, not when I’d told you specifically

where i was going to be...

- edward king looks in the evidence bag -

e.king: don’t get smart with me lad, i’m missing an episode

of ‘m.a.s.h’ for this... so what do we have here then?

CC: it’s another replica throwing knife - i was pursuing a

hunch i had about a possible connection between artie

choke’s case and huggy pear’s from last week. I found

this in a secret room in the fruit fly’s bedroom - look

familair?

e.king: yes, so i’ll overlook you breaking and enter-

ing for now. interesting though, yo’re not the first

carrot to ask me about huggy pear today...

Radio: ** sorry to interupt your evening chief, but

Joey the leek has just been taken into custody,

seems he had a narrow escape with death about 20

mins ago! we’re getting ready to question him now **

cc: joey the leek? another well known snitch? this

can’t just be co-incidence!

e.king: roger that, i’m on my way back to the station

now - don’t start without me - over. I think you should

be here for this too boyo, but i can’t give you a lift...e.king: ...you’ll have to make your own way there!

- observation room &

interrogation room -

e.king: you took your time!

they’re about to start...

- cut to the area mentioned, with the parsip avenger flying

through the buldings and above the streets, looking very

pleased with himself -

CC: whooo! look! It’s the parsnip avenger!

PA: greetings citizen! fear not, your city is safe

while i patrol it’s skies! (note: he cannot actually

see where or who the voice is coming from...)

cc: heads up!

- parsnip avenger crashes headfirst into a big tarp

the carrot crusader had put between two buildings -

it is the same colour as the night sky -

- cc swings the tarp and the captured avenger

around and onto a nighbouring roof -- he hits it with a thud -

Pa: oomf!!

pa: what the hell bro!? (or something similar)

- news report states where the parsnip

avenger currently is in relation to the

city (eg: the business district) -

CC: someone’s been impersonating me,

and you’re the biggest pretender I

know!

pa: “pretender” am i!? I’ll show you who’s

the pretender around here!! rawrrr!!

- lunges at the carrot crusader -

- cc vaults over the lunging

avenger, driving his head into the

rooftop -

- he lands behind the avenger, spins

around and draws a bolas launcher

from inside his cape -

- he fires the bolas at the parsnip

avenger, momentarily trapping him... -

- ...but the avenger uses his super

strength to snap the bolas cable... -

- ...and his super speed to duck the

tazer cc had fired at him while he

was immobile... -

cc: I don’t know what your motives

were, or why you tried to frame me,

but i’m taking you in for the murder

of artie choke!

- ... and in the same moment grabs cc

by the scruff of the cape and hurls

him backwards -

pa: rrwwrr!! see?! who’s the pretender

now!?

cc: you don’t intimidate me pal.

pa: oh no? perhaps you’ll feel differently

about the thought of a 5 story drop?!

can’t say that impersonating you now can

you? after all, gravity is no nemesis of

MINE...

pa: waitaminute... before you said some-

thing about murder? i didn’t murder

nobody!

cc: well that’s a double negative, which is

almost a confession in itself - tell me

why should i believe you then? after all,

you’re first reaction was to attack me...

pa: ...which is hardly the acts of an

innocent veg, yeah i get it... but what

can i say, you got me all riled up! i

can understand why you came to me,

it’s true that’s i’ve been impersonat-

ing you, but i’ve never even heard

even heard of this artie choke guy, i

swear!swear!

cc: so it was you who saved joey the leek from don berry’s boys...

pa: sure it was me, i whooped their butts good - was easy too... wimps.

- flashback to scene shoing the same images as joey’s flashback

scenes, this time with the details of the hero filled in as the avenger -

pa: me and joey go wayyy back, we used to

hang out after school... but you know what

the parsnip families are like in this city, they

don’t approve of outsiders... still, I couldn’t

let him get whacked by those deadbeats...

pa: ...but because of this i couldn’t risk

information of a parsnip shaped rescuer

getting back to grandpa snips, he might

have put two and two together and

worked out my secret identity! besides,

me and the old goat don’t have the best

history... and i’ve learnt it’s a good idea

to avoid provoking assassins!to avoid provoking assassins!

CC: ...so this means it really was a coincidence... if don

berry was still planning to kill artie tonight, he

couldn’t have known he had actually been killed the

night before, and therefore couldn’t have been re-

sponsible for the murder... joey was never a target,

he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

pa: what about his croney? that vocado guy? maybe he

killed him the night before and didn’t tell his boss?

cc: hmm, al vocado is greedy and ambitious - it’s

not his m.o to kill small fries... but he could be

worth questioning about all this!

pa: great, i’ll come with you! we’ll work together

- i’ve always dreamed of a superhero team-up!

pa: “...make sure this time that creep knows

what hit him!”

- parsnip avenger flies off, being careful to hide

his face from the sunlight... -

pa: *fake yawn* well, good luck buddy, i’m sure i

would have just slowed you down anyway...

cc: but why pretend to be me??

pa: because man! joey and i are your biggest

fans! I knew as soon as i went all ninja with the

smoke bombs joey would finger you! besides,

as you said, we do share a resemblance...

- suddenly the sun starts to rise behind them -

pa: er, whoa, look at the time! well it’s been a

busy night for me, saved a life, foiled a bank

heist - i’m beat!

Screw: look sharp wise-guy, you’ve got a

visitor waiting...

av: a visitor? for me?

- Al vocado is shoved into the visitation room, you can

see smoke developing on the otherside of the glass... -

av: hey watch it pal!!

- the door slams shut behind him, and locks. al

appears to be the only one in the room. the

otherside of the room has now filled with

smoke... -

- suddenly the carrot crusader’s shadow looms out from the

smoke, appearing to al exactly as it did during the attempted

hit on joey the leek... -

av: it’s...it’s you!!

av: you here for another round you freak?!

I’d like to see you get me through 3 inches

of bulletproof glass!

- suddenly a hand appears from behind al and

squishes his face into the glass... the carrot

crusader was on his side of the room all

along, al could just see his reflection! -

av: urrk!

cc: surprise...av: oh gawd whattya want from me? i don’t

know nothing i swear!!

cc: you know why don berry wanted artie choke dead,

so you can start there... that was me asking nicely...

but perhaps you’d prefer the alternative approach...?

av: err, no, that’s ok, i’ll tell ya what i know...

av: “well, so long artie” i said, and took

aim with the intention of giving him a few

more air-holes, if you know what i

mean...

av: ...damn thing knocked my gun

straight outta my hands!av: ...we thought it was you!!

av: as we looked up to see where it

came from, a shadowy figure dropped

down from the rooftop...

av: he landed right next to artie, seemed

to us the two of them were in cahoots...

av: then, outta the darkness....!

av: ...ok, well it all started earlier in the week - the don, the boys and

i were just takin’ it easy in the salad bar, same as we always do - when

artie comes burstin’ in...

av: ...he looked different ter normal, usually he’s

a right wet lettuce, but this time he had his head

held high - confident to the point of smug i’d say.

av: so he strolls right over to our table

and says:

At: ok don, i’ve got something mighty im-

pressive to show you out in the alley...

at: but first, i need you to shoot me...

whaddya say?

db: sure artie, we’ll help you out...

av: as a lawyer, artie has his uses, but lately

his continuos attempts to impress the don

had started to get on all of our nerves -

we weren’t going to pass up this opportunity

to get rid of him. still, as we went out to

the alley, he didn’t seem the slightest bit

nervous... it was weird.

db: what the hell is he doing here? did

you sell us out you little punk!?at: whoa, chill out fellas! it’s not the

REAL carrot crusader, it’s a fake!!

at: look see...? no heart, no soul, it’s

just a mindless drone, does whatever i

tell it too!

At: my... business partner and i have been

making them at his lab - told you it was im-

pressive didn’t i! pretty good huh?

dB: ...this thing... it does whatever you say?

at: go on, get outta here... return to

base. see the plan is, if we make super-

heroes that we can control, they don’t

need to be a problem no more, and you

know the best part...?

at: ...they’ve all got secret identities -

no-one knows who they really are, so

when we replace them, who’s gonna know

the difference!

db: what are you doing! you’re just letting

that thing loose in the city??

at: sure! watch this... hey you! pick up that

throwing knife! -it’s always dropping those,

must be a design flaw or something. pretty

lifelike though ain’t it?

db: ...is it... dangerous?

at: nah, it’s like i told you, it’s got no

brains, can’t think for itself.

av: the boss told artie to forget abbadit,

he wasn’t interested. artie wasn’t too

pleased about that - he swore that he’s

show us the mistake of not endorsing his

freakshow, and that we’d better watch our

backs yadda yadda...

at: of course not! it’s got an in-built

tracker on it - see? there it goes,

back to base just like i said...

course, can’t let you see where that

is now can i?

at: so whaddya say boss? want to be part

of the plan that’s gonna revolutionize the

crime in this city? you’d be crazy to say no!

db: it’d be crazy to say yes! i’ve never heard

such a stoopid scheme! you can’t just play

around with nature that way -did you see the

look in that things eye?? that’s a ticking

time bomb of disaster right there!

cc: well you clearly haven’t heard, but artie

choke was killed two days ago...

av: what!? but how... wait, it must’ve been that

monster of his!

av: i knew it would happen... that thing just

wasn’t right... it’s like the boss said: ‘you

shouldn’t mess with nature’...

- meanwhile cc has hopped over the glass

back into the smoke, al hasn’t noticed -

av: err... hello? duke: hey that was quick, i hardly noticed

you go in! you’re right, this article on apple

macs is fascinating...

cc: no problem man, keep it, i’ve gotta run...

- tabasco city general hospital -

cc: dr cumber? dr quentin cumber?

you’re wanted at the loading gate -

emergency apparantly!

Dr q: an emergency? I’m a mortician!

surely all the emergency has long

left my patients...

av: ...’you should keep it organic’ - so,

what did he do to him? was it grisly?

dr q: *grumbles* there’s always something...

never a moments peace...

- cc looks for artie choke’s body -

- after searching the body, cc turns to

his evidence file... -

- and finds the tracker artie used

on the creature during al vocado’s

story. he turns it on... - - it still works! -

av: so the little punk had finally gotten

too big for his boots... but the boss had a

plan - he decided to call in an old favour

from the parsnips... if anyone could handle

artie and his travelling circus, it would be

them - in fact the deals probaly already in-

motion to whack him even as we speak!

- cc tracks the creature through the

city, narrowing it down to a dark alley -

- he sees a dark shape moving around in

the alley, assumes it is the creature -

- he drops down with the intent of a

surprise attack... -

cc: FRREEEZZE!!!

- OH NO, IT’S JUST DRUNKEN BUM, ONION BOB!

CC: UH-OH...

- HE REALISES HIS MISTAKE AS THE

CREATURE LOOMS BEHIND HIM... ONION

BOB RUNS OFF -

- *BOFF!!* THE CREATURE GETS IN THE FIRST BLOW... - - ...AND WHILE CC IS STILL REELING, *WHAM!!* THE CREATURE KICKS

HIM HARD AGAINST THE ALLEY WALL -

- STUNNED, CC CAN ONLY WATCH AS THE CREATURE

DRAWS NEARER, STANDING ON AND CRUSHING THE

TRACKER AS HE DOES SO -

- IT’S A FACE-OFF! BUT CC IS BACKED AGAINST A WALL... -- THE CREATURE LUNGES...!! -

- BUT AMONG CC’S MANY GADGETS IS A TORCH, AND HE

SHINES IT STRAIGHT IN THE CREATURES EYES -

- WHILE THE CREATURE IS MOMENTARILY BLINDED **WHAM!!**

CC HITS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE TORCH... -

- ...AND FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH A PUNCH TO THE BELLY SO

HARD, THAT THE CREATURE SPEWS VOMIT EVERYWHERE

(INCLUDINGA SMALL METALLIC OBJECT) -

- BUT THE CREATURE RECOVERS QUICKLY, AND SLICES

AT CC WITH HIS CLAWS, RIPPING HIS COSTUME -

- AND FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH A POWERFUL PUNCH TO CC’S HEAD

**BAM!!** KNOCKING HIS HEAD INTO THE ALLEY WALL **CRACK!** -- THIS HEAD INJURY IS TOO MUCH FOR

CC AND HE STARTS TO BLACK OUT... -

- ...WHO FINALLY SUCCUMbS TO UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND

BLACKS OUT -

- THE CREATURE MOVES TOWARDS HIM,

PRESUMABLY TO FINISH THE JOB... -

- ...BUT INSTEAD, SEEMS TO

NOTICE/READ A POSTER ON THE WALL... -

- ...AND THEN TURNS AROUND AND

LEAVES, SEEMINGLY FORGETTING ALL

ABOUT THE CARROT CRUSADER... -

ob: oh i saw that part - that thing

chucked it up when you hit him in the

stomach... gotta say, i’ve been there

man!

*click* at: ---kkk--- don’t believe ---

don berry --- show himm ---kkk---

cc: that’s artie choke’s voice!

cc: he must have kept a voice-recorded

diary in case something went wrong... the

creature must have ate it along with his

heart!

shot of cc talking excitedly

to ob, ob looks confused

- or dream sequence imagining

the attack on artie choke

cc runs out of the alley, with the

indication he is going back to base

**splash!!**

- onion bob throws water on cc to

revive him -

cc: ...whu?

ob: you alright sonny? you got

wanged on the head pretty good!

cc: that ...creature... where did it go?

ob: oh that thing ran off about 10 minutes

ago in a big hurry, it went thatta way...

close up on cc’s face -

he spots something

ob: ... i was hidin’ in the boxes over

there... dang near thought he’d

killed ya i did...

cc: ahh, dammit...

cc: ...the tracking device... it’s broken.

how the hell am I going to find him

now? And what’s this...?

cc: er... for you’re own saftey, it might be better if you forgot all

about this...

ob: don’t worry son, i’m halfway there already! *hic* you go get ‘im!

shot of cc looking away

cc: The sound file is damaged though...

i’ll have to take it back to base, see

if the computer can clear it up...

- ob starts drinking -

Dr p: you want me to use my superior

knowledge of genetics to modify

regular fruit and veg into replace-

ment superheroes? I have to say, this

is quite an ingenius plan; as morally

despicible as it is wickedly creative...

dr p: ..of course i can do it - i’m in. but

we need equipment... a lab...

AT: i can use my connections in the

mayors office to... redirect any crates

of medical supplies and equipment we

might need from incoming shipment... as

for lab-space, i think I’ve got an idea...

< this one time when he was drunk, I’d heard

huggy pear talking about a secret room in

his basement he used to use back when his

club was a broth-el - apparently no-one

else knew about it >

Huggy:Huggy: ...it’s not much really, but it’s well

hidden - i don’t need to know what you get up

to in here man, just in case I have to deny

any involvement, if you now what i mean!

at: ...it’s perfect!

< he tells me that he ain’t gonna tell nobody, but

I can’t take the risk, we’ve come too far... >

at: sorry huggy...

< i blew his brains out right there in the alley... the

power from the gun... it felt good. but this was no

good, soon the cops would be sniffing around... we

had to move the lab. >

compuer: audio file repair is now complete

CC: computer: play audio file...

day 01

< so earlier i went to the warehouse

like we’d arranged - I asked him what

he thought of my idea >

at: “ so whaddya say doc? i figured if

anyone could pull off this scheme, it’d

be you... can you do it?”

day 02

< the doc said he needed test sub-

jects, and the major had been on my

ass about sorting out the homeless

problem in tabasco (apparantly it was

hurting his votes) so i thought i’d kill

two birds with one stone... >

< i gave ‘free nutrients’ leaflets to every

homelss piece of trash I could find, soon

they were queing up to the back entrance of

huggy’s club (it being during the daytime,

huggy was fast asleep and none the wiser) >

day 03

<...and then it was lights out time. the

doc was happy, plenty of ‘test subjects’

he called ‘em... i thought it was all

pretty creepy, but it’ll all be worth it to

impress the don, when he see’s the

result, he’s going to freak! >

day 06

< potential disaster today - huggy comes stubbling into

the lab looking for ‘a spare keg of beer’ or something

- anyway, when he see’s Dr p,s experiments, he freaks out

and runs for it...>

< i rented a storage unit in the factory district and we

steadily moved the equipment in there - i don’t think

anyone found the original lab, as i went back there

the other day long after the police had been and

gone for the last of it - nothing had been touched >

< soon we were back on track - turned out for whatever

reason, carrots worked the best, so we decided the

carrot crusader would be the first to be ‘replaced’.

the one in tube 01 had shown particular promise... >

< i thought it was time for a test run, but the doc said it

was still mutating or something, and needed more

tests... but he can’t be in the lab all the time can he?

as soon as he goes out for a leak, i’m getting this

thing in it’s sunday best and taking it straight to the

don! he’s gotta be impressed by this baby... >

< i don’t believe it!! don berry called me

crazy!! me!? short-sighted old fool!!

‘time-bomb of disaster’? it came right

back to it’s tube, just like i told it to! >

< wait... I think something... no!!

Something’s gone wrong...! >

< it’s turned into a monster! it’s

coming after me... got to get out

of here! it’s coming after me! >

< it’s too fast!! I don’t

know my way around

this part of the city! >

< no!! a dead-end! oh gourd help

me! somebody help me!! >

< ...no!! i’m sorry! I’m sorry for what i’ve done to you!

Dr Potassium! it was all his idea! I swear! maybe we can

cut some kind of deal- aaaaaaaaaaaaHHHH!!! --- >

- sound file cuts off to be relaced by a loud alarm -

< i’ll show him, if he thinks this thing is dangerous i’ll show him dangerous!! all

i gotta do is turn up the heat on that genetic soup he’s sittin’ in - lets see what

the don has to say when i turn a suped up version of this thing on him! >

close up of james

prune’s face

peachie: while the s.p.u.d are yet to release

any official details, eye-witness reports are

coming in describing a grisly scene, where

the victims body was ripped apart as if the

murderer was looking for something...

- flashback shot -

- the creature is looking at a poster of

james prune that says ‘soul’ on it -

- flashback shot -

peachie: “the ‘godfather’ of soul was

brutally murdered... body was ripped

apart as if the murderer was looking

for something...”

peachie: prune was of course famous for

such soul classics as ‘papaya’s got a

brand new bag’ and ‘peas, peas, peas’...

CC: soul...

- flashback shot -

AT: “look see...? no heart, no

soul, it’s just a mindless drone!”

- flashback shot -

e. king: “...looks like someone tore

his heart straight outta him...”

cc leaps from his computer

toward the pipe that leads

to his garage

cc: computer: plot fastest route from the

locastion of artie choke’s murder scene,

to the nearest rentable storage unit

- flashback shot -

at: “it’s got no brains, can’t think

for itself...”

close up shot of cc’s face

heart, soul ...brains ..the creature... it’s

going after all the things that artie said it

didn’t have! but who does it know with

‘brains’... wait, of course! dr potassium!!

computer: incoming news buletin

featuring peachie keen ---

cc: on screen.

peachie: ...world of music lost a legend

today, as soul muscian james prune,

often referred to as the ‘godfather of

soul’ was brutally murdered sometime

this evening.

- scene opens with cc at the now abandoned lab,

which is still wrecked due to the creatures escape

- there is no sign of dr potassium -

cc wanders over to tube 02

- you can see a murky silhoette floating in the tube -

cc: so you’re another failed version of me then? that

stuff you’re floating in must be the same stuff i found on

that fake throwing knife...

- cc wipes away condensation from the tube -

cc: i wonder what you look like in there... huh?

- cc spots a copy of last weeks daily intake

lying in a puddle of the genetic fluid -

- “battle of the brains - the worlds top

scientists gather at tabasco city museum

next week for the ‘scientist of the year’

awards - presented by jim cherry” -

- realising the creature could have come

back to the lab and seen the paper the

same as he did, cc rushes off to the

museum to intercept him -

- tabasco city museum, scientist of the year

award ceremony -- wide shot of the stage/seating area where the

ceremony is already in full swing -

- a shadowy figure watches from the rafters - it’s the

carrot crusader! he has let himself in via the skylight -

- cc swings in to save the day (hero shot) -

cc: ok chief, i’m in, hang back until i give the

signal, then start evacuating signal - i’m Sure

he’s going to wait until the ‘scientist of the

year award’ has been announced...

e.king: ---kkk--- you better be right about this

kid... ---kkk---

jc: thank you professor plum, winner

of the ‘outstanding break-through in

forensic science’ award! Professor

plum ladies and gentlemen!

jc: so please welcome to the stage

your winner and over-all big brain,

professor gilbert pinestein!

**clap clap clap**

cc: now chief!! - suddenly the creature bursts out from under the

stage, lunging at professor pinestein -

jc: ...and now the moment all you nerds

*cough* -i mean esteemed guests- have

been waiting for: the winner of the ‘sci-

entist of the year award!’

- cc swings right into the creature, delivering a kick to it’s

face so hard it sends the creature hurting to the back of

the stage. jc has fled, but pp is still on the stage -

cc: chief! we need those people out and the doors

sealed, i don’t know how long i can hold this thing!

e.king: we’re working on it lad! alright everyone,

please exit in a calm, and orderly manner, everything

is being taken care off...

- cc throws two throwing knives,

not at the creature, but up

toward the display... -

- the knives sever the cables connecting

the ring, it starts to fall...

- which falls right on the creature,

trapping it’s arms -

pp: vot the heck iz that thing!

cc: it’s a horribly mutated, near

indestructable clone of me!

professor, you really shouldn’t

still be on stage!

cc: ...but as you are here, any ideas on

how to stop it?

- meanwhile the creature notices a

large version of the award statue... -

- the creature starts to come towards cc

and pp, cc notices he’s stood underneath a

stage prop of a planet with a ring around it-

pp: vell, i’ve never had to battle a mutant

clone before but like all carrots, it might

be easier to snap if you could refrigerate

it somehow...?

cc: cool it down... but how...?

- suddenly the creature leaps at them, it’s

broken free of the ring! cc shoves pp out of

the way -

cc: nevermind, just get out of here!

- the creature grabs cc’s neck and forces

him down onto the stage to throttle him, the

s.p.u.d open fire, pp lies on the far end of

the stage -

- pp notices that he has landed right next

to a fire extinguisher, the creature is

snarling at the police, agigtated, but not

injured by the bullets -

- suddenly a jet of freezing cold

c02 hits the creatures back while

it’s distracted by the bullets -

- professor pinestein to the rescue! -

- pp pours on the co2, the creature

starts to freeze... -

- cc uses this opportunity to strike

while the creature is helpless, winds up

a big kick... -

- ..and slices the creature clean in half! -

cc: i never meant to slice it in half! I was

just hoping for any kind of surface

damage really!

pp: i vouldn’t feel too bad about it... some-

how it’s still alive! look at it go!

- suddenly for no reason, a

section of the stage lighting

support grid comes loose... -

- it lands on the creature **SLAT!** dicing

him into strips -

- ...it’s going to fall on the

creature! -cc: look out!!

cc: so... it’s still alive? incredible...

e.king: that’s what the medics said, although i don’t

know if you can really call that living... we’re putting

in in cold storage for now.

forensic guy 01: ‘sliced and diced’ eh buddy?

forensic guy 02: that’’s totally inappropriate steve...

e.king: as for the ceiling grid, no sign of anyone

having been up there - the tech’s reckon it must

have been hit by a stray bullet and come loose...

cc: hmm...

e.king: we went to check out the storage unit you told

us about, but when we got there it was a blazing wreck

- we’ve got guys looking through the wreckage, but so

far they’ve found zip. my guess is potassium torched

the place - and any gm crops still inside - to cover his

tracks. the remaining clones must have perished.

cc: that’s the one thing about all this that i don’t

understand - dr potassium’s motives always centre

around a need he feels to prove himself to his

scientific peers - this creation was an enormous

breakthrough, but it was artie’s idea, and potassium

hasn’t even tried to take credit for it?

e.king: yeah well believe it or not, i had the same thought, so

i had some experts look into the equipment that artie had...

‘relocated’ for potassiums experiments - it seems only about

half of it would have been used for genetic modification...

not that artie would have known of course.

- cc waves to professor pinestein -

cc: so what else did he take?

e.king: well to avoid suspicion, artie moved stock

from about 30 different locations, so we’re

having a few problems finding exactly what’s

missing if you know what i mean.

cc: well let me know when you do, whatever he’s up

to, it can’t be good...

e.king: sure kid, no problem. you must be relieved

to know there aren’t anymore clones of you out

there wrecking your good name...? - fin

cc: i sure am chief...cc: ...i sure am.

- as he swings away we see a carrot crusader shaped

silohette watching from a nearby building... -