When love is not enough chapter 4
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Transcript of When love is not enough chapter 4
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PART IICHAPTER 4:
TEACH SELF-CONTROL
WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGHA GUIDE TO PARENTING CHILDREN WITH RAD-REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER
BY Nancy L. Thomas
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“CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCEHANDS IN YOUR LAP”
STRONG SITTING
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•AN EXERCISE THAT HELPS THE BRAIN TO ‘SHIFT GEARS’•A TIME TO THINK, DREAM, PLAN OR PRAY
What is Strong Sitting?
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It gives the brain an opportunity to shift in the most successful position
What
does it
do?
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NEO-CORTEX
LOGIC
REASONING
SCHOOL WORK
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LOVE AND ATTACHMENT
Limbic
System
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It stimulates both of these parts of
the brain!
They must shift gears in their brain to
the Neo-cortex by going through
the Limbic system.
Each minute they spend doing
it correctly exercises the
logic and/or love parts of the
mind.
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DONE CORRECTLY?YES
NO
YES
• Sitting Still• Back Straight• Quiet• Hands Folded• Chest/Lung Area Open
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What Strong Sitting is NOT:
PunishmentThe child paying with their time for something they have done wrong
Pushing the child away
Isolation
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You must get compliance on this basic level before attempting to get compliance, honesty, or any progress on any level.
It might take a long time to get it clear you are serious
You need to wait patiently until they get strong enough to do it right.
‘No Problem’ means it’s no problem for me!
* Things To Note About Strong Sitting *
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HA
VE
“NO
!”P
RA
CT
ICE
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The Basic Skills
•Come• Go• No• Sit• Stay
Should be mastered,
by 18 months of age.
They MUST be mastered before
a child can possibly handle more involved
tasks.
Have fun practice sessions
when you have time.
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CHOICES•When you feel they may be ready: offer a choice of two items• If they pick a third choice, they are not ready for choices.
•You make the choices until they are ready
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Getting The Child To Go To Their Room
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•Have them practice when they are not angry•Have the therapist practice with them•Have the therapist practice ‘doing it for mom’ at the office.•Tell them to go to their room when they start to get angry, not after they are over the top•The child should not be in their room longer than 30 minutes of quiet no matter how old they are.