When Life Hands You Lemons... Throw Them At People (SAMPLE)
Transcript of When Life Hands You Lemons... Throw Them At People (SAMPLE)
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WHEN LIFE HANDS
YOU LEMONS...
THROW THEM AT PEOPLE!
A Book About GrowingUp,ScrewingUp,andMovingUp with Just anOunceofMaturity
By zackgonzalez
A ZackG.Comedy ProductionsBook
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Copyright © 2012 by Zack Gonzalez
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or
transmitted in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval
system, without the prior written permission of the author.
For protection purposes, names, dates, events, and descriptive
characteristics and details may have been changed, altered, reordered, and/
or compressed. Reader discretion is advised.
The publisher and the author are not responsible for websites (or their
content) that are not owned by the publisher or the author.
A Zack G. Comedy Productions Book
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Gonzalez, Zack.
When life hands you lemons … throw them at people / Zack
Gonzalez.—1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN: 978-1-105-35903-31. Male comedians—United States—Biography.
2. American wit and humor 3. Life—Humor I. Title
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Thisbookisdedicatedtomyass.
Mainly becausenot aday goesby without at least onepersontellingmehow smart it is.
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“Life,likeallgamesbecomesmorefun, when yourealizethat it isjust agame!”
–UNKNOWN
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ABOUTTHISBOOK:When life has handed him way too many ridiculous
absurdities, the smart-mouthed and quick-witted Zack
Gonzalez decides that life's lemons aren't bestowed for
selfish affairs such as making lemonade.
In a wild concoction of hilariously brash narratives, Zack recounts all of his life's most erratic moments, shaping the
character he is today. Whether it's trying to convince his
principal that the reason his hair is orange is because his
mother made him color it, arguing with his great-
grandmother over whether she's taking a shot of gin or
just drinking her "medicine," or being voted the team's
least valuable player, Zack really knows how to take life's
lemons... and chuck them in the other direction, for the
sake of his sanity; and sometimes at the cost of others'.
Welcome to very unique life of Zack...
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THEFOREWORDTOTHEFOREWORD
byZack
The Foreword is the part of the book where an author asks
someone special to sit down and come up with reasonsyou, the reader, should buy this book, along with doing as
much ass-kissing possible. So when it came time for me
to pick someone to write the Foreword, it got a little
tricky. I thought and thought and thought until finally, I
hurt myself.
After a while, I thought I should follow in the steps
of Sarah Silverman and write the Foreword myself (which
is kind of what I’m already doing) because I have so
many people that have come in and out of my life, that
there really isn’t one person I could ask that’s been
consecutively by my side through it all. Well, except mymom, but how embarrassing would that be. So instead I
decided to call up everyone who’s ever fallen prey to one
of my ever-so brilliant schemes and give them a chance to
write this Foreword. So get ready, because they have a lot
to say!
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Formoreinfo,follow:@JustPlainZackonTwitter
ORhttp://www.lifessourlemons.tumblr.com