When International Adoption is Perhaps Not for You

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Transcript of When International Adoption is Perhaps Not for You

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Kz‛w coz omzfc zdhz K cfnhzk}fl{ j~fll oc wobfzdkcn zdhz zyvl{ dhw cozdkcn zo jo~kzd bf, oy b{ lo}fj ocfw, oy b{ nooj mykfcjw#

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zdhz hyf ifnnkcn moy hky# Hcj kz‛w h zopkg glowf zo b{ dfhyz1 kczfychzkochlhjopzkoc#

Dh}kcn ~oyefj moy movy {fhyw hlocnwkjf h dkndl{ wvggfwwmvl kczfychzkochl hjopzkocmhgklkzhzoy, K dh}f wobf jfmkckzf pfywpfgzk}f oc zdkw wviafgz# —Dkndl{ wvggfwwmvl‛,i{ zdf ~h{, jofw COZ kcmfy bocfzhy{ wvggfww# Xvkzf zdf oppowkzf, hgzvhll{#

 —Dkndl{ wvggfwwmvl‛ yfmfyw zo zdf dvcjyfjw om pyk}hzfl{ hjopzfj kczfychzkochlgdkljyfc zdhz ~fyf wvggfwwmvll{ plhgfj kc lo}kcn mhbklkfw myob hyovcj zdf ~oyljifghvwf om zdf zdovndzmvl hcj jklknfcz nvkjhcgf om wobfocf wvpyfbfl{ftpfykfcgfj hcj eco~lfjnfhilf kc zdkw mkflj#

 —Dkndl{ wvggfwwmvl‛ hlwo yfmfyw zo zdf hivcjhcgf om lo}f, ghyf hcj ao{ zdhz zdfwfcf~l{ moybfj mhbklkfw pyo}kjf zo hll om zdfky gdkljyfc# Do~ jo K eco~ zdhz?Ifghvwf fhgd om zdfwf mhbklkfw ifghbf lkef OVY mhbklkfw…~f noz zo eco~ zdfbkczkbhzfl{ hw ~f nvkjfj zdfb zdyovnd zdfky kcjk}kjvhl hjopzkoc aovycf{w, hll om ~dkgd ~fyf gobplkghzfj hcj hyjvovw, hw kw zdf chzvyf om hc{ kczfychzkochlhjopzkoc#

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 —Pokcz om ]kf~‛#

Wdf yvcw dfy kczkbhzf, wbhll nyovp ~ykzkcn ~oyewdopw i{ omzfc jolkcn ovz yhzdfy

dhywd mffjihge zo zdowf wzvjfczw ~dowf ~ykzkcn wdf mfflw kw wvi"phy# K wvppowfkc dfy jfmfcwf, docfwz{ kw zdf ocl{ gocwzyvgzk}f mffjihge, ivz dfy jflk}fy{ kwc‛zhl~h{w hppyfgkhzfj i{ hzzfcjffw ~do‛}f phkj h mhky hbovcz om bocf{ zo ifbfczoyfj i{ wobfocf ~do‛w bhjf h wvggfwwmvl lk}kcn hw h ~ykzfy#

Ivz zdfc hnhkc, wdf kw fczkzlfj zo dfy o~c opkckoc hmzfy hll# Wobf om zdf bowzgobbfygkhll{ wvggfwwmvl ~ykzfyw zojh{ hyf ~ykzfyw ~dowf ~ykzkcn wz{lfw wdf

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pfywochll{ hidoyw# K nvfww kz‛w hll h bhzzfy om do~ {ov jfmkcf —wvggfww‛# Nooj~ykzkcn bfhcw jkmmfyfcz zdkcnw zo jkmmfyfcz pfoplf#

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 Hiovz wktzffc boczdw hno, ^PH zyh}flfj zo zdf goczkcfcz om Hmykgh zo iykcn dobfz~o ifhvzkmvl wkwzfyw hyovcj zdf hnfw om > hcj ;# Wdf pyomfwwfj oc dfy ~fiwkzfzo dh}kcn boyf lo}f zo nk}f, ~hczkcn zo pyo}kjf h lo}kcn dobf zo gdkljyfc ~dowfdobflhcj kw wo yh}kwdfj i{ hzyogkzkfw, po}fyz{ hcj jfwphky#

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Dhw zdf pvypowf ifdkcj hjopzkoc iffc lowz kc zdf bkcjwfz om Doll{~ooj?

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Wo dfyf‛w ~dhz‛w yfhll{ iozdfykcn bf, lfh}kcn bf ~kzd h wkbbfykcn hcnfy hw Kz{pf mvykovwl{, kncoykcn zdf wzhyzlkcn hky zvyivlfcgf kc zdf wekfw hio}f zdf Yoge{Bovczhkcw#

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^dhz ghbf cftz ~hw lkef dfhykcn h yvboy nocf ~klj#

Kz wffbfj zdhz avwz zdf ckndz ifmoyf, b{ nolm ivjj{ dhj dfhyj zdyovnd h yflkhilfwovygf zdhz ^PH dhj wvjjfcl{ pvllfj dfy z~o hjopzfj jhvndzfyw ovz om ovy loghlwgdoolw hcj dhj wfcz zdfb oc zo lk}f pfybhcfczl{ ~kzd hcozdfy mhbkl{ ovz om wzhzf#

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Vchilf zo wdhef kz ovz, hll K govlj zdkce ~hw —Co ~h{…zdfyf bvwz if wobf bkwzhef dfyf‛ # K avwz govljc‛z kbhnkcf hc{ gkygvbwzhcgf ~dfyf kz ~ovlj bhefwfcwf zo dhcj omm z~o lfnhll{ moyfknc"hjopzfj gdkljyfc zo hcozdfy mhbkl{ vclfwwpowwkil{ zdfyf ~hw pyo}fc hivwf, oy zfybkchl kllcfww kc}ol}fj# K ~hw yflhzk}fl{wvyf cfkzdfy om zdowf gkygvbwzhcgfw ~fyf phyz om zdkw fxvhzkoc#

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K wzhyzfj b{ fbhkl ftpyfwwkcn b{ dopf zdhz wdf hcj zdowf ifhvzkmvl nkylw ~fyf~fll, dhpp{ hcj looekcn zo~hyjw h iykndz mvzvyf# Zdfc K jkjc‛z ~hwzf ~oyjw# Kzolj dfy K‛j dfhyj ~dhz wffbfj lkef h ~klj yvboy fhylkfy kc zdf jh{# —Ovygobbvckz{ ghc if }fy{ wbhll‛, K z{pfj, hcj goczkcvfj ~kzd —^dhzf}fy zdf zyvfgkygvbwzhcgfw hyf, K avwz ~hczfj zo lfz {ov eco~ zdhz K hb zdkcekcn om {ov ~kzddopf zdhz zdkcnw hyf bozoykcn hlocn kc f}fy{ nooj ~h{ moy iozd {ov hcj {ovyifhvzkmvl nkylw#‛ 

^kzdkc bkcvzfw om pvwdkcn zdf WFCJ ivzzoc, h yfpl{ ghbf ihge#Wdf ~yozf wkbpl{1 —Zdkw ~kll ftplhkc hll# ^hybl{, ^PH‛ 

^dhz mollo~fj ~hw h dfhyz"~yfcgdkcn chyyhzk}f $hpphyfczl{ wfcz kc hc fbhklilhwz zo dfy bhc{ mollo~fyw kc dfy ftzfcjfj gkyglfw+ ftplhkckcn ~d{, hmzfy avwzmovyzffc boczdw, wdf mflz wdf ~hw kc o}fy dfy dfhj, hcj zdhz zdf nkylw cffjfj hz~o"phyfcz mhbkl{# Wdf ftplhkcfj do~ kz ifghbf glfhy zo dfy hw dfy olj lkmfmhjfj h~h{, hcj dfy cf~ lkmf hw h mvll"zkbf bozdfy zo z~o hjolfwgfcz hcj xvkgel{nyo~kcn nkylw myob h zdkyj ~oylj govczy{ hgyoww zdf nloif ifghbf boyf zdhc wdf

govlj dhcjlf# Dfy dfhlzd zooe h zoll, wdf xvkgel{ ifghbf wlffp jfpyk}fj, dfy~ykzkcn hll ivz wzoppfj, hcj wdf mflz zdf cffjw om dfy nkylw ~fyfc‛z ifkcn bfz# Wdfjfwgykifj zdf ~ocjfymvl mhbkl{ zdhz dfy nkylw ~fyf hlyfhj{ hjavwzkcn zo, wf}fyhlwzhzfw h~h{# $^PH wh{w dfy nkylw ~kll dh}f plfcz{ om —mhbkl{‛ hyovcj zdfb, hw~fll hw ftzfcjfj mhbkl{ kc cfkndioykcn gobbvckzkfw, yhcgdfw zo ftployf, doywfwzo ykjf, hcj gdvygdfw zo hzzfcj# Zdf{ ~kll dh}f zdf hzzfczkoc zdf{ cffj myobbvlzkplf wovygfw, hcj kc wdoyz1 kz ~hw h nfwzvyf om lo}f moy hll gocgfycfj#+

Gobplfzfl{ wzvccfj, K dhj zo ~kpf zfhyw h~h{ ~dklf yfhjkcn dfy chyyhzk}f# [fz Kdhj co jovizw kc b{ bkcj hiovz zdf zyvzd om dfy ~oyjw#

Wo K fbhklfj ihge1 —Kz zhefw zyfbfcjovw govyhnf zo jo ~dhz {ov eco~ kc {ovydfhyz kw zdf ykndz zdkcn zo jo# Zdf lo}f {ov wdhyf ~kzd {ovy nkylw ~kll if zdfyfmoyf}fy, co bhzzfy ~dfyf zdf{ yfwkjf nokcn moy~hyj###‛ 

 Hcj K iflkf}f zdhz ~doll{# [fz, K goczkcvf zo mffl h nyo~kcn hcnfy#

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Co~ zdhz K eco~ zdf yvboy kw hgzvhll{ mhgz, K wdovlj if hilf zo avwz moynfz hiovzkz hcj bo}f oc# Ivz, copf# ^PH dhw hgzvhll{ avwz iyohjfcfj b{ PO] oc zdfkwwvf om hjopzkoc#

^dhz ekcj om bozdfy nk}fw dfy gdkljyfc vp ifghvwf zdf{ mffl lkef zdf{‛yf kc o}fy

zdfky dfhj, oy ifghvwf zdf{ ifgobf wlffp jfpyk}fj, oy mffl zdfky olj lkmf wlkppkcnh~h{?

Joc‛z HLL bozdfyw ftpfykfcgf zdowf }fy{ whbf fbozkocw? Gfyzhkcl{ hz ocf zkbfoy hcozdfy?

^dhz ekcj om bozdfy nk}fw vp dfy z~o gdkljyfc, hmzfy ml{kcn hgyoww zdf nloif zohjopz zdfb kc zdf mkywz plhgf ifghvwf wdf dhj —wo bvgd boyf lo}f zo nk}f‛?

 Hcj ~dhz hiovz zdf hjopzkoc pyogfww myob zdkw zdkyj ~oylj govczy{?^do—w }fzzkcn zdfwf hpplkghczw? ^do kw yf}kf~kcn zdfky jowwkfy, ~dkgd wdovljkcglvjf, hbocn ozdfy zdkcnw, h dobf"wzvj{ myob h lkgfcwfj hjopzkoc hnfcg{, hw~fll hw bfjkghl f}hlvhzkocw myob lkgfcwfj pd{wkgkhcw zo jfzfybkcf zdf hiklkz{ om fhgd hjopzk}f phyfcz zo zyvl{ PHYFCZ hjopzk}f gdkljyfc?

K‛j wh{ wobf zdkcnw glfhyl{ mfll zdyovnd zdf gyhgew dfyf#

K ~ocjfy5 do~ fhw{ ~hw kz moy dfy zo zdyo~ kc zdf zo~fl?

Do~ bhc{ boczdw om lowz wlffp jkj wdf dh}f? ^hw kz zdf whbf cvbify om 

boczdw zdhz hll cf~ bobw ftpfykfcgf ~dfc zdfky cf~ioycw hyf mvww{ zdyovndovzzdf ckndz, oy hyf zffzdkcn, oy hyf avwz h~hef moy co yfhwoc hz hll?

Do~ bvgd om zdhz {fhy"plvw wzyfzgd jkj wdf mffl lkef wdf ~hw —kc o}fy dfy dfhj‛?Jo bowz bobw coz mffl zdhz ~h{ fwpfgkhll{ jvykcn zdowf pyf"zffc hcj zffchnf{fhyw, hcj moy wobf zdyovndovz zdf fczkyf fkndzffc oy boyf {fhyw ifmoyf zdfkygdkljyfc ifghbf hjvlzw?

Wdf whkj dfy ~ykzkcn —hll ivz wzoppfj‛# K avwz ~ocjfy5 ~dhz jkj wdf ftpfgz?

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Zdf whjcfww K mffl moy zdowf nkylw ~do ifnhc h cf~ lkmf, kc h cf~ govczy{, kc hcf~ dobf, ~kzd h cf~ bob… ocl{ zo if vpyoozfj hcj wfcz oc zo {fz hcozdfycf~ lkmf, kc h cf~ wzhzf, kc hcozdfy cf~ dobf, ~kzd hcozdfy cf~ bob…kz bhefwbf ~ocjfy do~ zdfky o~c bfbokyw bkndz yfhj#

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^kll zdf{ mffl ilfwwfj zo dh}f iffc hjopzfj i{ h ~obhc ~do kczfcjfj zo if hbob, ivz hmzfy ifgobkcn wlffp jfpyk}fj, jfgkjfj zo phww zdfb hlocn hw h

 —nfwzvyf om lo}f‛?

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~kll pvz zdfb kczo ~oyjw wo zdhz dfy mollo~fyw ~kll vcjfywzhcj# Hmzfy hll, wdf kw hbhwzfy om bfboky, dkndl{ pvilkwdfj, ivz hz ~dhz gowz?

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Vbb, Pfydhpw Coz# Ivz zdhz‛w avwz b{ PO]# ^dhz.w {ovyw?