What Are Emotions?

Made up of four components: Physiological Feelings Nonverbal Reactions Cognitive Interpretations Verbal Expressions

Physiological Feelings

Strong Emotions trigger bodily changes Increased heart rate Rise in BP Slowing of digestion

Physiological messages can offer clues to your emotions once you become aware of them

Nonverbal Reactions

Not all physical changes accompany emotions

Easy to tell when one experiences a strong emotion, but hard to determine the exact emotion being conveyed

Facial expressions mimic feelings

Cognitive Interpretations

Our minds play an important role in determining how we feel

What we think determines our particular feeling.

Verbal Expressions

We cannot always rely on perceptiveness to make sure the message is conveyed appropriately

Emotional intelligence

Types of Emotions

Emotional Intelligence

The ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situations and the skill to communicate those feelings effectively.

Typical Emotions

Anger Anxiety Content Disgust Fear Gratitude Guilt

Typical Emotions

Happiness Jealousy Joy Pleasure Relief Sadness Surprise

Influences on Emotion

Major Influences Personality Culture Biological Sex and Gender Power Social Conventions Social Roles Fear of Disclosure Emotional Contagion

Personality Extroverted vs. Introverted Neurotic vs. Non-neurotic

Culture Universal expression of emotions

happiness sadness surprise anger disgust fear

Situational Differences Degree of Expression Differences

Culture Continued... Ethnicity

Blacks Asians Whites

Individualism vs. Collectivism external display internal experience Data from study

Biological Sex and Gender Women

more attuned better memories of emotional images more intense reactions larger range of emotions

Men Reveal positive emotions (NOT

negative ones) More likely to disclose to women

Power The less powerful individual is

more aware of emotions of the more powerful person Intimidation factor

Social Conventions direct expression of emotions

ex. United States indirect expression of emotions

ex. Japan Individualism-Collectivism

impacts??

Social Roles

Emotional usage is decreased due to acceptable social roles.

One loses the ability to show certain emotions when they are continually repressed.

Fear of Self-Disclosure

Example: It’s hard for a boss to admit when he/she is wrong

Those that disclose can be misunderstood Affection = romantic invitation Uncertainty = weakness

Honesty can cause discomfort Honesty can be used against you

Emotional Contagion

Definition: When one becomes influenced by the emotions of others around them.

Varying degrees Fast process with no verbal

communication needed.

Others…

EVERYTHING influences emotion!!

Religion, individual personal experiences etc.

Regardless of influences on emotions, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express them.

The next section looks into the guidelines of healthy emotional expressions.

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions

Advice and Techniques for Effective Emotional

Expression

Effects of Emotional Expression

Emotional expression has a tremendous effect on health and well-being.

Physiological effects

Relational effects

Physiological Effects

Emotional suppression increases risk of physical problems such as, cancer, asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis, 1992).

Emotional inhibition also causes a increased risk for psychological problems, such as, anxiety or depression (Krause et al., 2003).

Overly aggressive expression can lead to high blood pressure and increased stress (Mayne, 1993).

A healthy balance is key.

Relational Effects

Pent-up emotions are harder to control and more likely to be expressed violently.

Lack of expression leads to relationship stagnation.

Healthy emotional expression increases intimacy, promotes relationship growth, and allows problems to be fixed before they escalate.

Steps to Healthy Emotional Expression

Recognize Your Feelings. Choose the Best Language. Share Multiple Feelings. Recognize the Difference Between

Feeling and Acting. Accept Responsibility for Your

Feelings. Choose the Best Time and Place.

Recognize Your Feelings

Pay attention to your body.

Know your “emotional triggers”.

Don’t underestimate the importance of feelings.

Watch your gestures.

Choose the Best Language “Wanting” isn’t the same thing as “feeling”.

Don’t rely on common adjectives.

Be specific.

Use metaphors or examples.

State the cause of the emotion when possible.

Share Multiple Feelings

Feelings are all related.

Same event can cause many different emotions.

Express as many emotions as possible.

Don’t be afraid to elaborate.

Recognize the Difference Between Feeling and Acting Don’t try to be a hero.

Don’t pretend to feel something you don’t.

Simply acting on feelings does not always alleviate them.

Feelings do not always have to lead to action.

Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings

Don’t blame others for your feelings in your expression, even if they are the cause.

Don’t try to hide or cover up your feelings to please someone else.

Choose the Best Time and Place Give yourself some time to prepare. Plan out what you are going to say;

write it down if you like. Don’t have an emotional discussion

when you are tired, sick, or under severe stress.

Devote the necessary time. Make sure the other person is

prepared to listen.

When Not to Express Emotions If you are sure you will have

difficulty controlling your emotions. If the other person is unable to

listen at that moment. If the consequences might be

worse than dealing with the emotions (authority figure).

Look for an indirect route. Enlist a third party or mediator.

Expressing Positive Emotions Most people associate emotional

expression with problems or difficulties. Happiness is also an emotion. Feel free to express happiness,

confidence, success and contentment. Praise and complement your significant

other when you are proud of them. Surround yourself with people who will

be happy for you. Must be aware of the time and place!

Summary Emotional expression is healthy and

necessary for good relationships. Know how you feel and why you feel

it. Express your emotions calmly and

specifically. “Acting out” isn’t necessary. Choose your time and place carefully. Don’t be afraid to express positive

emotions!

It is true that healthy emotional expression can be more difficult for certain emotions

The next section involves a wide range of feelings that affect our communication skills.

Managing Difficult Emotions

Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions Facilitative Emotions- emotions

that contribute to effective functioning

Debilitative Emotions- emotions that hinder or prevent effective performance

Characteristics of Debilitative Emotions Intensity Duration

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Perfection- A

communicator should handle all situations well

Very inspiring, but unrealistic

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Approval- A

communicator has to constantly obtain everyone’s approval

Communicator sacrifices their own principles and/or happiness

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Should- A communicator

doesn’t distinguish between what is and what should be

Communicator often wants others to behave differently

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Overgeneralization- A

communicator doesn’t distinguish between what is and what should be

Communicator often wants others to behave differently

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Causation- A

communicator feels they shouldn’t do anything to hurt or inconvenience others

Often communicator’s needs are overlooked

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Helplessness- Forces

beyond a communicators control determine their satisfaction

Causes the communicator to feel like a victim

Irrational Thoughts That Can Lead to Debilitative Emotions Fallacy of Catastrophic

Expectations- A communicator believes if something bad can happen, it will

Causes ruminations of thoughts and feelings

How to Minimize Debilitative Emotions Monitor your emotional reactions Note activating/triggering events

Specific people Specific events

Dispute irrational events Why they are irrational events Why your have them

References Adler, R.B., Rosenfeld, L.B., & Proctor, R.F. (2004).

Interplay: The Process of InterpersonalCommunication (9th ed.). New York: Oxford

UniversityPress.

DeAngelis, T. (1992). Illness linked with repressive styleof coping. APA Monitor, pp. 14-15.

Krause, E.D., Mendelson, T. & Lynch, T.R. (2003).Childhood emotional invalidation and adultpsychological distress: The mediating role of

emotionalinhibition. Child Abuse and Neglect, 27(2), p 199-214.

Mayne, T.J. (1999). Negative affect and health: The importance of being earnest. Cognition and Emotion, 13(5), pp. 201-236.