Week 158

More jobs and lower taxeswere promised by the PrimeMinister, Mariano Rajoy, duringa big debate in the SpanishParliament which focused onthe state of the economy.

With a General Election taking placebefore the end of next year, Rajoypledged to scrap income tax for theless well off in 2015, and increased thepredictions of economic growth. TheSpanish leader’s speech seemed to godown well with the voters, with twonational opinion polls rating him andthe ruling Partido Popular comfortablyahead of his Socialist rival, AlfredoRubalcaba, based on their performances in the chamber this week.

The Prime Minister said that Spainhad turned a corner and was "part ofthe driving engine" of Europe, addingthat economic growth forecasts for thisyear have been uprated to 1% and to1.5% for 2015. Rajoy claimed that therecession was over and that theemphasis would be on “positive”growth.

Rajoy also pledged to slash tax,promising that taxpayers earning under12 thousand Euros would not have topay income tax from 2015, irrespectiveof whether or not they have dependent

children. The minimum taxable threshold is to be increased for the disabledand those with dependent children, andRajoy pledged additional aid for lowincome families – although he was'unable' to give any further details.People earning 20 thousand Euroswould also get a reduction, whichapparently means that 12 million ofSpain’s 17 million taxpayers will seemore money in their pockets. Someeconomists commented that there waslittle difference between Rajoy’s proposals and the actual tax structure, as

currently workers who earn 11,162Euros a year don’t have to pay taxes.“About 97 percent of the workers whoearn 12,000 Euros a year already don’tpay taxes and the rest pay less than300 Euros,” said Santiago Díaz deSarralde, an economics professor atKing Juan Carlos University.

In other measures, contracts for newstaff at all firms will carry a flat rate of100 Euros a month in Social Securitypayments made by the employer on

Edition 158 www.thecourier.es Friday, February 28, 2014

HAPPY DAYS AREHERE AGAIN

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Bullish Rajoy in economic boost

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By ALEX TRELINSKI

The new name of AlicanteElche is now emblazoned onthe side of the airport at El Altet. Airport owner, AENA, finished the work which costjust under 25 thousandEuros which was paid for bydonations from companiesin the Elche area.

2 Friday, February 28, 2014

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Caught at river segura last year 7, 1/2lb Photo by RYNO THE CARP CATCHER

behalf of the employee. This type of contract will only be available for companiestaking on extra staff and expanding theirpayroll, not replacing those who have left, inorder to prevent unscrupulous bosses fromfinding reasons to fire existing employeesso that they can substitute them with newones and therefore pay lower SocialSecurity contributions. The 100 Euro amonth Social Security tariff will continue forthe first two years of the new staff member'stime with the firm, provided the contract is afixed, or 'indefinite' one rather than for atemporary placement. Bosses must keepeach of these employees on for a minimumof three years, or they will have to refund theextra Social Security they would normallyhave paid.

Rajoy was heavily criticised for avoidingmentioning, or empathising with the growingnumber of people living in poverty, or thoseno longer entitled to state healthcare. Verbalsparks flew throughout the congress, with

opposition leader Alfredo Rubalcaba askingthe Prime Minister, “Mr Rajoy, which countrydo you actually live in?”

“Never has there been a government inthe history of democracy that has tried todestroy equality as your government, MrRajoy,” said Rubalcaba. The Socialist leadersaid that pensioners, workers and even theunemployed have seen their wages andbenefits cut.

Rajoy retorted to Rubalcaba: “Well, you'renot exactly flavour of the month.” Cayo Lara,of the Plural Left coalition, said Rajoy’s victorious demeanour over the economy was“deeply embarrassing.”

The opinion poll in the newspaper, ElMundo showed that Rajoy outperformedRubalcaba, with some 32.4% giving Rajoythe edge as opposed to 26.8% favouring theopposition leader. Results were much closerin El País, with a total of 27% saying theSpanish leader had won the debate, only 2points ahead of the score notched up byRubalcaba.

From page 1

Happy days are here again

A Cantabria politician had his mind on other businessrather than his regional parliamentary session as he wascaught thumbing his way through a magazine full of nudefemale photos. ExCantabria president, Miguel Revilla, wascaught on camera looking at steamy pictures of a transsexual in the Intervíu magazine, though Revila claimed that hehad asked his secretary to buy the publication so that hecould read an article about a former boss of the Caja Madridbank. "I've committed no crime,” he fumed.

NICE GUITAR

A car carrying a large 300 kilo haulof copper wire was left abandoned inthe Pilar de la Horadada area after alocal police patrol approached a suspicious vehicle on the Lo RomeroGolf resort in the early hours of lastFriday morning. Cops found rolls ofcopper wire that was identical tothose used in the resort, with damage reported to street lights and covers around the area.

IT’S A FAIR COPPERNEARLY 2 THOUSAND A LETTER

Motorists looking for a disabled parking space inTorrevieja, will soon be able togo online to find out wherethey are all located. The council website, www.torrevieja.eswill shortly have a new interactive map showing all theEuropean blue badge spaces,which currently stand at 193,with 37 new ones having beenintroduced over the last 18months. The council have added that therewill soon be a change of address for renewing and applying for the European disabled

parking permits, with the office moving fromthe Local Police HQ to the Social Welfarebuilding on C/Torrevejenses Ausentes.

3Friday, February 28, 2014

Police have smashed aRomanianled gang thatwould steal from tourist carsin a corridor stretching downthe Mediterranean coastaround the AP7 motorway.The National Police say that15 Romanians and aSpaniard have beenaccused of 18 robberies atservice areas and shoppingmalls along the routethrough the Valencia and Murcia regions, aswell as Catalonia and Andalucia. The gangwould not hesitate to resort to violence andin one case they beat up a woman who thenmiscarried her unborn child.

The police dragnet against the gang

began last autumn, with a series of arrestsacross the country, including Murcia andAlicante. The final batch of arrests weremade in Alicante City, with cops seizing alarge variety of items and money from theirhomes.

Tourist gang caughtThe small town of Jacarilla, lying

between Bigastro and Benejuzar is in thebig time money, after some 80 familiesshared a national lottery prize of 7 millionEuros. It’s all come as a big boost to apopulation affected badly by the economic crisis, and the tickets were sold at abakery on Valencia Street owned by FiniOrtuño who as President of the local confridia (brotherhood) of Our Father ofJesus of Nazareth, will use her 60 thousand Euro share to find a new headquarters for her organisation. She told theInformacion newspaper that she got a call onSaturday lunchtime from a lottery representative in Almoradi to say that the numbers

that she sold had come up trumps, and within minutes the bakery was awash with champagne bottles and lots of happy winners.

JACARILLA JOY

299 palm trees by the River Segura infected by the dreaded red weevil disease arebeing given the heaveho in the Orihuelaregion, with heavy brushcutter machinerybeing brought in this week to get rid of the poisoned growths, along with the worms insidethem. The infected palms and their unwelcome occupants are ground into pulp in amatter of seconds, with the resulting organicmatter able to be safely reintegrated into thelocal soil. The Phoenix palms have been mostaffected with around 900 still healthy in theRiver Segura area, with the Orihuela councilplanning to pay for the replacement of thosethat they’ve had to destroy.

WEEVILS PULPED Over 30 floats took part inlast Sunday’s TorreviejaCarnival parade, with arepeat performance scheduled for this Sunday (March2nd). Local groups took part,as well those for the first timefrom further afield fromplaces in the Murcia regionlike Santiago de la Ribera.Prizes for the best floatswere awarded afterwards atthe Teatro Municipal.

Don’t stop the carnival

Licensed taxi drivers operating out ofAlicanteElche airport have once again said“enough is enough” over pirate and unlicensed taxis, and are set for a protest strikefor the second week of March. The Elchedrivers say they’re angry that nothing hasbeen done to stop clandestine operatorsmuscling in on their turf, despite promises ofnew control barriers and a clampdown onunauthorised taxis.

82 licensed Elche drivers operate out of ElAltet during the winter months and they saythey have spotted up to 80 illegal operatorsa day, of which they describe 30 as “foreign”.The drivers say that promises have not beenkept from last December to introduce a newbarrier as well as added security to checkthat no pirates were using the area. Theyhad given a deadline of March for theirdemands to be met, or else they would go on

strike. Drivers at Malaga Airport staged aprotest strike last week, and there’s talk oftaxi operators staging some kind of coordinated national action which could causechaos come the height of the summer highseason. Last year, angry Elche cabbies (pictured) confronted people who they believedwere breaking the law and undermining theirincome.

Don’t carry on cabbyBLUE BADGES

If you live in the Almoradi area and are fedup of going to the Town Hall to get a padronrenewal, then there’s some good news foryou, as the council has launched a new online site to make things easier across arange of services. Many council documents

have been digitalised since 2010 to cut downon paper, and New Technology provincialdeputy, Adrian Ballester and Almoradi councillor, Maria Gomez, formally launched thewebsite this week. It can be accessed at:almoradi.sedeelectronica.es.

HIGH-TECH ALMORADITorrevieja police say that bars and clubs are breaking the

rules on noise by fiddling with their sound limiter devices. Thelocal cops claim that are around 50 limiters that have beenput in to venues around the area, and that they plan to checkevery single device before the Easter holiday season kicksin. Local police chief Vicente Gutiérrez said that his force geta high number of calls on a daily basis about noise comingfrom bars, though he would not say whether any prosecutions were pending.

IT’S A FIX

Murcia, along with Andalucia, are the two Spanishregions which suffer the most from energy and fuelpoverty. They have the largest number of families thathave found it close to impossible to keep their homeswarm during the winter according to the NationalInstitute of Statistics (INE). They say that some 3 millionhomes in Spain have been “cold” during the last fewmonths, which accounts for some 31% of properties inthe country. Many families are said to have resorted topaying their mortgages which have left no money to payfor electric heating and they have switched to gas bottles as opposed to using electricity. When a bottle hasrun out, they go without heat and use cold water forwashing until they save up enough money to get anotherbottle.

Fuel poverty rife

The streets ofSan Pedro delPinatar will hostthe annual carnival this weekend,with the fun starting on Saturdaymorning with achildren’s paradewhich begins atthe Plaza de laConstitucion at11am. The maincarnival paradewill be on Sunday,with councillor SilviaEgea(pictured) tellingreporters that with over 700people taking part, it will bebigger and better than

ever. The procession willstart at 5.00pm in the carpark at Parque CondesaVillar de Felices, ending upat the tented area of theEsplanade in Lo Pagan.


The Orihuela Costa hasunveiled its first dog park aspart of a 10 thousand Euroimprovement package at LaFlorida Park on Calle Aries inLa Florida. A new children’splayground has been builtalong with improved sportsfacilities, whilst dogs have afenced in area that they canplay in, with special equipment along with dispensersfor owners to pick up theirpet’s mess.

Work on improving thequality of the drinking waterin the Las Filipinas/BlueLagoon area of San Miguelisn’t progressing fast enoughaccording to the San MiguelArchangel NeighbourhoodAssociation. They claim thecompany awarded the contract to provide water in thearea over two years ago iswell behind the schedule thatthey promised at the start oftheir franchise period.

Santa Pola’s Natural Park of the Salinas will see a numberof special events during March showing off what has it offerboth tourists and conservationists alike. There’ll be specialactivities backed by the Valencian Regional government,including bird watching sessions and fishing tours.

Spain has some of the best nursing care in Europe according to the British medical magazine, The Lancet, but theSpanish nurses are also amongst the most stressed out! Thecountry has 12.7 nurses per patient which is the highestamong the nine countries looked at in the study, but Spanishspending cuts are said to have added to their pressures, withtheir workload being increased as numbers in the professionare falling. Some 20,000 nurses have lost their jobs in recentyears because of spending cuts, with many leaving the country to try to find work. Around 5 thousand Spanish nurses arethought to be working in Germany according to the nursingunion SATSE.

Taps of trouble Park shows offFUN IN SANPEDRO

Great nurses, butfor how long?

PETS PARADISE

A man in his 80’s was injured on Sunday when his car collided with a tram in the Garbinet area of Alicante City. Itappeared his vehicle jumped a red light, and the 87 year oldwas trapped because his door was jammed, until firefightersprised it open. He was not seriously hurt but did suffer a neckinjury.

TRAM CRASH

An expert climber in his sixties from Benejúzar died on theSierra de Redován last Friday evening (Feb 21st), when hefell from a height of 100 metres at around 7.00pm. The rescue operation continued well into the night before his bodywas recovered. Antonio Sánchez Gutiérrez 'El Tono', was awellknown popular sporting figure who played handball inBenejúzar, Rojales, and Torrevieja.

EXPERT DIES

Guardamar’s Alfonso XIII park has been given an earlyspring clean ahead of the Easter season with repairs andimprovements being done over the last week. Extensivepruning of many trees has happened, along with the cuttersbeing taken to some 40 eucalyptus trees and their largebranches.

Spick and span

Night time emergency cover is to return to the BigastroHealth Centre from tomorrow (March 1st), with people inJacarilla and Benejúzar also being covered from there in offpeak times. In other developments in the Vega Baja,Almoradi’s 24 hour emergency service is being restored withgreater resourcing, which means that full weekday medicalservices will return to Daya Nueva, as doctors are no longerneeded to provide cover in Almoradi.

Night cover

TREMORA series of miniquakes hit the Costa Blanca last weekend with the latest tremor being reported off the SantaPola coast on Tuesday afternoon, which hit 3.2 on theRichter scale.

If you love rice dishes, then Torrevieja is laying on a seriesof treats across 26 bars and restaurants for a week startingthis Monday March 3rd. Special menus are going to beoffered which start at 20 Euros for 3 courses, withTorrevieja’s Tourism Minister, Luis María Pizana saying thatthe showcase will allow the area to display something that isunique in the whole of Alicante Province. The menus and allthe prices are available via: www.torreviejagastronomica.com

Rice man comethA 22 year old Spaniard has been arrested on suspicion of

robbing at least 29 homes in the Acequión area of Torrevieja.The Guardia Civil got their man after several months ofinquiries, and discovered some 50 stolen items in his house,though they believe that many others would have beenalready sold off.

Burglar nabbed

A key road between the Orihuela Costa and Orihuela Cityhas reopened after work on the AVE high speed train link inthe area was finished for the time being. The CV95 underpass had been closed since January, causing problems fordrivers coming from areas like Bigastro and Hurchillo, as wellas further away. The downside is that the underpass is setto be shut again this summer for the next stage of AVE workto be concluded.

OPEN FOR A TIME

The Spanish government has been left with a massive billof 13 billion Euros after an illegal health tax, known as thecéntimo sanitaria(the health cent) had been charged on fuelat petrol pumps around the country. The European Court ofJustice said that the tax raised by regional governments,including those in Valencia and Murcia, was nothing to dowith improving the environment and therefore brokeEuropean Union rules on special taxes. The law waschanged at the start of last year to bring into line with whatthe EU wanted, but Madrid has now been presented with ademand for the tax to be refunded.

The case came from a Catalan legal suit filed by a transport company that said that EU laws were broken with theregional court handing over the matter to the European Courtof Justice. The ruling doesn’t mention how the taxes raisedbetween 2002 and 2011should be refunded, though in theoryanybody could ask for their money back, but would needreceipts to be able to start the process.

Finance Minister Cristóbal Montoro said Spain had consulted with the European Commission before imposing thetax, but had no choice but to heed the ruling of the court. Hesaid the government would have to analyse the potentialimpact on its finances.

MADRID’S MEGA REFUND


Torrevieja Mayor,Eduardo Dolón says he’sshocked by a nationalreport that claimed thatbodies set for Torreviejacrematorium were stored ina garage. The story in lastFriday’s El Mundo newspaper claimed that theValencian Government anda local court had receivedinformation about what was going on with

the crematorium whichhad been using a garageto keep some of the bodies when the viewingrooms were full to capacity. A Torrevieja court iscarrying out an inquirywhilst Dolón says he hascalled in the Valencianhealth authorities to investigate as well as the

Orihuela Public Health Director.

PILED HIGH

A famous Murcia region hotel, which was used as a holiday home by dictator GeneralFranco in the sixties, is to reopen its doors in April, in time for the Easter season. TheCenajo Hotel near inland Moratalla and Caravaca has been a favourite weekend getaway for expats and has been refurbished offering 120 beds for visitors wanting aenjoy a break in natural surroundings.

FRANCO FAVOURITERE-OPENS

Barcelona have paid 13.5 million Euros tothe Spanish tax authorities after beingcharged with tax fraud over the signing ofBrazilian striker, Neymar. Despite theiractions, the La Liga champions have insisted they had not committed any offence.

"The aim is to cover eventual interpretations that could be given to the contractsdrawn up in the operation to sign Neymar,"according to a club statement.Nevertheless, they strongly denied anywrongdoing, insisting: "We remain convinced that the original tax payment was inline with our fiscal obligations."

State prosecutors have alleged thatBarcelona owe the taxman 9 million Euros.

“NOT GUILTY”BARCA PAY UP

Cutprice clothing chain Primark, whichhas outlets in Elche and Zenia Boulevard,will continue to open more stores in Spain,despite shutting down two shops in thecountry in the last few months. The fashion retailer, which now has 39 stores inSpain, closed its Zaragoza store at theend of January when the mall in which itwas based shut down. While other stores

sought new locations, Primark said it hadno plans to do so at present. The outletwas not the first to close as last autumntheir La Coruña shop, ceased trading, withdeclining footfall blamed. The company isopening a new outlet in Tenerife thisweekend, and Spain has becomePrimark’s second largest market after theBritish Isles.

PRIMARK’S OPENAND SHUT CASE


OUR NICOLA WILLWIN WIMBLEDON

BEFORE HE’S 21

THE Torrevieja teenager tipped to be the nextRafa Nadal has a special bond with a Britishcouple he looks uponas his grandparents.And Nicola Kuhn’s admiring

abuelos are so convinced hewill become a tennis champion that they have backed himto win Wimbledon before2021.

Nico, European No.2 in hisage group, looks upon Welshcouple Charles and Ann ashis own family after they tookhim under their wing as atwoyearold and helped tonurture his career.

“Yes, I really think they are

March 20, is revelling in thesuccess of his adopted country Germany, having led thenational under14 team towhat is effectively theEuropean team title in Italyrecently.

The tall, blond Torry kidhad already won the firstTennis Europe tournamentevent of the year in Boltonand then reached the final ofthe prestigious Petit As eventin France. In doing so, Nicotrod in the footsteps of WorldNo.1 Nadal, who lost toRichard Gasquet in the finalof the same event just over adecade ago.

Nico also lost in that final –his only defeat in an otherwise immaculate 2014.

Kuhn, described by thelegendary Boris Becker as “abetter player than I was at hisage’’, is already rubbingshoulders with the game'stop stars as he travelsaround Europe on the juniorcircuit.

He has to do his secularstudies via the Internet andsays of the tennis big names:“I like the guys and I knownearly all of those playing atthe top. I talk to them everyday so we have a really goodconnection.

“I speak German andRussian very well because I

But he rubbed the snub inby leading his adopted country to a runaway victory in theEuropean Winter Cup. Nicodidn't lose in an unbeaten runwhich included a straightsets victory over EuropeanNo.1 Alen Avidzba in the finalagainst Russia.

''I’m not angry at Spain atall,'' he insisted. “But theywant the best players withoutdoing anything to help, andsport doesn't work like this.

“They should have donemore for me, but I'm notthe only good sportsman,there are so many goodplayers in Torrevieja inother sports like football,basketball... and they alsodon't get anything.''

learnt the languages when Iwas very small.''

The Austrianborn son ofGerman businessman AlfredKuhn and his Russian wifeRita has been playing tennissince he was four.

He recalls: “Every dayafter school we went to playfor an hour or two. I wasdeveloping fast and I had abig interest in tennis, so Ikept asking my parents moreand more to practise andthat's what I am still doingright now practiising.''

Nico has no ill feelingstowards Spain after switching his national allegiance toGermany when the cashstrapped Spanish refused topay his travelling expenses.

So how does Nico seehimself in terms of nationality? Born in Austria andbrought up in Spain byGerman and Russian parents, he speaks all three languages plus very goodEnglish.

“It's very difficult to saywhat I feel really,'' he says. “Iam in the German team, sofor tennis I prefer Germany.

“For living, Spain is betterbut Germany is my team andI'm very proud to play for acountry and win the titles likeI did a week ago.

“We are EuropeanChampions and, believe me,it's a great feeling to be partof it.''

Skinflint bookies would only give us 250-1

Remember,The Couriertold you first

IT’S three years since former Post Officeofficial Charles hunted around for abookie who would give odds on NicolaKuhn winning Wimbledon

He had to settle for miserable odds of2501 yet remains convinced that his‘adopted’ grandson will lift the biggestprize in tennis by 2021.

Charles, a neighbour of the Kuhns inTorre del Moro, recalls: “We searchedthrough all the UK bookmakers who takebets on snow/rain/flies crawling up wallsetc, and all but one declined to offer oddson him winning Wimbledon in the next 10years.

“Only Victor Chandler put his headover the parapet. He gave us a paltry 2501. That was on 28 Feb, 2011. Nico wasjust 10 years old.

“We put down £20, but when you thinkhow many things could go wrong overthose 10 years, the odds were ridiculous.Still, as time passes, the chance of£5,000 looks better.’’

Charles and Maureen’s connectionwith Nico and his family goes back to thedays Rita Kuhn brought her toddler sonto the urbanisation pool to teach him toswim.

“The pool is outside the front of our

villa,’’says Charles. “By the time he wasfour we found a natural bond. Nico hadno siblings or other children of his ageon the urbanisation.

“It gave me a perfect excuse to playdiving about in the pool and having fun,without looking too demented a sad oldfogey.

“I taught him to float motionless, hetaught me to swim underwater on myback. He would ring my bell two andthree times a day to ‘go swimming’.

Great!”“Later, he started to come for ‘English

lessons’ I felt inadequate beside thisyoung lad who was fluent speakingSpanish, Russian and German, and wasnow becoming proficient in English.“When he started playing tennis (withoutmy ‘expertise’), the swimming poolbecame a training area and I wouldsometimes take over the duties his mother normally performed walking up anddown the pool and counting whilst he

swam 20, 30, 40 lengths, in order to buildup his stamina.

“We started to watch him play tennisbut because of our absences in the UK,now coupled with his frequent travelling,we have only watched a few times.

“Most of his tournaments in the lastyear have been International Russia,Germany, France, Italy, Turkey, UK not‘just up the road’.

“So following his progress is bothphysically and financially beyond us.

“However, we follow his every tournament on the internet, and text our support daily.

Charles and Maureen also have anincentive scheme that keeps Nico on histoes. Charles explains: “Every competition he wins while we are in Spain, wegive him €10.

“He tells us he puts it in his box that he‘never, never, opens’. It is a ritual playedout between us.

“He must have had €100 for the box todate, but we have been lucky enough tobe back in the UK for a lot of his wins.

“He has been told that because of theeconomic situation, there will be a pricefreeze, and he will still only get €10 whenhe wins Wimbledon. Skinflints!’’

my grandparents,'' he confirmed in an exlusive interview this week. “I spend lotsof time with them andCharles gives me Englishlessons as well.''

Nico, who will be 14 on

Nicola Kuhn withformer WorldNo.1 Juan CarlosFerrero, whosetennis Academyhe attends

Nicola (holding trophy)on the podium with hisGerman teammatesafter being crownedEuropean champions

DonnaGeereports

Friday, February 28, 2014 7

WHALLEY’S DAIOF JUDGEMENT

IT was a sad coincidence that WhalleyOwen, a patriotic stalwart of the Torreviejaexpat community,passed away a coupleof days before hisbeloved Wales hammered France in rugbyunion’s Six NationsChampionship.

Or was it?I prefer to think that

Whalley was having such aball in his new celestial surroundings that he decided toorchestrate the outcome ofthe big game as a gift to thelegion of Taffs he left behind.

The 273 scoreline,Wales's best victory overtheir Gallic rivals in the SixNations championship, cameas the socalled experts werepredicting an embarrassingdefeat for Sam Warburton’sdragons.

A few weeks ago, Whalleyand his wife Marion sat in thelounge of my villa watchingone of the autumn rugbyinternationals and reminiscing about our mutual roots inSouth Wales.

Half a century ago, wewere all living in Pontypriddand although we didn't knoweach other at the time, therewas an air of the surrealabout this Spanish gatheringof kindred souls on unfamiliarterritory.

Here we were, far away

folk are ironing their old daffodils and preparing for StDavid's Day.

Back home, the land ofmy fathers is preparing forthe baring of its patriotic souland unleashing of theDragon on the complacentfollowers of St George.

And yet the profile ofWales's national day seemsrelatively low outside thePrincipality – unlike thefurore of St Patrick's Day,when whooping Americanhype generates the impression that half the world hasroots in the Paddy fields ofIreland.

I guess I'll have to settlefor wearing a daffodil (if I canfind one) plus a few chorusesof Cwm Rhondda in theshower. That's the hymn theprayer book calls 'Guide MeO Thy Great Redeemer' –and which was sung as suchat Whalley's funeral servicein La Siesta Church this

itself. And I don't mean thatdismal dirge God Save TheQueen.

For some inexplicable reason, the English lack passionwhen it comes to expressingnational pride...so much so

week.It also happens to be the

mantra of Welsh rugby – atune synonymous with thenational sport for as long as Ican remember and upstagedonly by the National Anthem

that the masses accept whatmust be the least inspiringNational Anthem on theplanet.

No wonder The Queensmiles so rarely. The incessant request to the Almightyto save her probably boresher as much as it does 99per cent of those who haveto endure the misery.

Just listen to the thundering anthems of France, Italyand indeed Wales and you'llget an inkling of what REALmotivation is all about.

Surely it wouldn't be toomuch of a problem forEngland to switch to theinspiration of Land of Hopeand Glory or Rule Britannia.

And the time to do it isNOW because I'm beginningto wonder whether HerMajesty actually wants to besaved.

THE death of 99yearold Maria, lastof the original Von Trapp familysingers, took me back 20 years tothe day I was asked to find out whathappened to the REAL people portrayed in The Sound of Music.

In those days, background material was extremely limited online – butI managed to Trapp the legendarymusical troupe down at their holidaycomplex in the United States, wherethey took refuge after fleeing theirnative Austria in 1938.

So how true to life was the storyas portrayed in the 1965 film classic,I asked Johannes Von Trapp,President of the Trapp FamilyLodge in Stowe, Vermont,

“Well, put it this way,’’ said theyoungest of Captain Georg VonTrapp’s ten children – and his thirdby second wife Maria. “If it had beenaccurate, Julie Andrews would havehad a pillow under her dress as shedanced over the mountains intoSwitzerland. My mother was eight

months pregnant at the time I wasborn just a month later!’’

Ironically, I came across an itemthis week expanding on whatJohannes told me in my research fora Scottish Sun article.. It revealedthat while The Sound of Music wasgenerally based on BaronessMaria's 1949 book The Story of theTrapp Family Singers, there weremany alterations and omissions. l Maria came to the family in

1926 as a tutor for her late name

sake, who was recovering fromscarlet fever, not as governess to allthe children.l Maria and Georg married in

1927, not just before the Nazitakeover.l Maria fell in love with the chil

dren at first sight, not their father.When he asked her to marry him,she was not sure if she should abandon her religious calling but wasadvised by the nuns to do God's willand marry Georg.

The day I trapped the Trapp troupe

from home, enjoying a sunshine existence a millionmiles from the grey, greybleakness of home. Green,green grass? Don't make melaugh.

No wonder Marion and thefamily opted not to takeWhalley's remains back tothe valleys. The poor fellawould have drowned posthumously.

Whalley's death camepainlessly, and relatively suddenly, at a time when Welsh

Whalley Owen

Patriot game: TheWelsh playersprepare for battle


I was standing near thesupermarket exit, mindingmy own business whileMrs S was tending to hersat the checkout, when Iheard a voice.

Now I am certainly nostranger to hearing voices(my family and a couple ofmedical practitioners willattest to that) but this onewas particularly intriguing.

For it was female and,dare I say, a bit beguiling.Indeed, it sounded like somewoman had actually foundme sufficiently appealing toinitiate a conversation.

'Hello,' the voice saidagain. 'What's your name?Would you like a go?'

I sucked in my tummy in anattempt to produce a trimmermiddle but panicked when Ifelt my trousers start to falldown.

Blushing spectacularly, Iscurried away to hide. It wasonly when I peeped furtivelyaround that I realised theinvitation had come from theautomated voice on a kiddiesride.

A MAN OF BEANSNot for the first time I won

dered what my existencewas all about. Why didn't lifecome with subtitles orexplanatory notes? And perhaps more to the point, thestore security man wanted toknow why I was gibbering tomyself while hiding behind ahuge display of baked beantins (Buy one, get one free.Offer valid until the end of themonth.)

'It's all right, er . . . officer,he's with me,' said Mrs S asshe exited the checkout.'Although sometimes I wishhe wasn't.'

As soon as we were out ofearshot, Mrs S turned her fullvenom on me. 'What is it withyou? I've told you time andtime again that all I require ofyou when we come to thesupermarket is that you to sitquietly in the cafe. You drinkcoffee while I shop! Get it? Ishouldn't have to repeatmyself.'

'You can say that again,' Isaid, burying my tongue firmly in my cheek.

'Excuse me, madam,' said

the store security man whohad caught up with us in thecar park. 'Is this man stillbothering you? I would haveasked you earlier but I wasbusy picking up all thoseknockedover baked beantins. You wouldn't believehow far they've rolled.'

Mrs S said: 'This man ismy husband. You might offeryour condolences on my lackof taste in men but I do happen to love him dearly. He's

my best friend, my soul mateand the father of my gorgeous children. But if thingsever do go wrong I will onlyhave to mention JeremyKyle.'

Mrs S loaded our groceriesinto the car boot while I stoodthere waiting patiently for herto finish. That is not as cruelas it sounds. I allow Mrs S tohandle all simple choreswhile I concentrate on the bigchallenges like world eco

nomics, human rights andpub opening hours.

As we drove home fromthe supermarket, I turned toMrs S. 'I want to thank youfor what you said about meback there. You know, all thatstuff about loving me.'

'Well, it's true, darling,despite your many irritatingpeculiarities and eccentricities,' she cooed.

'You have a good womanthere,' the store security mancommented to me from theback seat of my car. 'And it'salso very nice of you to giveme a lift home after my shift,especially when I virtuallyaccused you of being alunatic back there behind thebaked beans display.'

'That,' I said, 'is because Ihappen to be a very niceman. My therapist taught methat a person shouldn'taccept situations at facevalue. It's all about reconceptualisation. Try to rememberthat.'

I pulled the car into thekerb and the supermarketguy clambered out. 'Thanks

again. See you next timeyou're . . . hey, hang on aminute! You've dropped meoff at least five miles from myhouse.'

'Sorry about that, pal,' Isaid, driving off. 'I'm obviously not as nice as I thought.'

I chuckled to myself, thenchuckled out loud, thenstopped chuckling altogether.'It's no good,' I sighed. 'I can'tdo it to the poor guy.' And Iturned the car around andwent back to where I'ddropped off my passenger.

'I was only joking,' I fibbedas the store security manreturned gratefully to the rearseat. Mrs S squeezed myhand: 'For one moment thereI thought I was married tothat moaning whinger VictorMeldrew off the telly. It'sgood to have you back, mylovely, but dim, husband.'

I dropped off the supermarket guy outside his houseand he waved a cheeryfarewell. 'You are a lovelycouple,' he said. 'Goodbyeand thank you again, Mr Kyleand Mrs Meldrew.'

This week I thought it would be a goodidea to write about processionary caterpillars, which are a real danger to dogsand humans.

These caterpillars represent a publichealth hazard because they have thousandsof hairs which contain an irritating proteincalled thaumetopoein. These hairs can beblown by the wind into contact with peopleand animals, resulting in painful skin irritations and rashes and, in some cases, allergic reactions in some people and animals.

They are native to, and until recently wereonly found in the Mediterranean region,North Africa, and some areas of the MiddleEast and southern Europe. In Spain especially, they are a huge problem. They feedoff the needles of pine trees and it is veryeasy to spot their nests. Looking at a pinetree, if you see a white ball, which resemblescotton wool or candy floss, that is them.

More commonly referred to as the pineprocessionary caterpillar as its nameimplies, they are a kind of caterpillar thatlives on the tree tops of Pine Trees. Theword processionary comes from the fact thatthey lineup forming long caterpillar linesthat can reach several meters long, althoughgenerally they only measure around a centimetre in length.

If you come across them, do not touchthem! Warn your children that they are notlike the friendly English caterpillars. The very

fine hairs on these creatures are poisonousand most dangerous. They are most noticeable from January to midApril and are attheir most dangerous in mid/late February.The caterpillars are often seen in theevenings, walking in procession from tree totree.

If they drop onto you or your pet, don'tbrush them off with your hands because theeffect is most unpleasant, causing great irritation, rash and pain. Dogs, cats and peoplecan suffer from shock. The hairs of the caterpillars are still very harmful even when thecreatures are dead. Do not hit them withsticks because hairs flying in the air are justas dangerous. Burn them, but be careful offloating hairs. If the caterpillars are in thetree cocoon state, first spray the nest withhair spray (to seal down the hairs), cover thecocoon and the affected part of the branchwith a plastic bag, cut down the branch,place it on clear ground and burn it.

I have come across these pests for thelast two weeks and I have been so lucky thatnone of my dogs have been affected, but living in Pinoso, which in English translates asThe Pines, means I have to be extra vigilant

at this time of year, because it is now thatthey are at their worst. Most councils inSpain take this problem very seriously andin our village they have been busy all weektrimming the pine trees and treating them sothat they are not infested.

So when you are out with your dogs, keepa look out for the nests in the trees or a lineof caterpillars following each other. If youspot them, get your dog away from theminstantly or it could prove to be an extremelypainful lesson for our four legged friends aswell as for us.

I am available for consultations throughout the Costa Blanca region, if you are having problems with your furry best friend. Tobook a consultation you can email me [email protected] and I will contact you straight away, or you can call me on966 847 827. We have set up an animalcharity, where we help the most severelyabused and injured animals in Spain. If youwould be kind enough to donate anything tothis special cause you can do by PayPal,where the account details are peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our Nat West charityaccount, where the sort code is 601603and the account number is 73754900.

IBAN: GB83 NWBK 6016 0373 7549 00.BIC: NWBK GB 2L

Even one Euro will help, so please,please, try and support us. Thank you fromthe bottom of our hearts


Although brothers Billy andBobby are large dogs, theyare very friendly and big softies. Lovely dogs, they willmake great companions foranyone with the space toadopt a large dog. To meetBilly and Bobby please contact Yvonne on 630 422

563.Tilly is a lovely tabbyfemale with beautiful goldeneyes. She is one of themany cats living in the APAHCattery who have neverknown a loving home. Canyou give Tilly a home andlots of love? To arrange tovisit the Cattery, please contact Yvonne on 630 422 563.

sure her new family would berewarded with a very happy,loving companion. Millie isfully vaccinated, micro chipped and sterilized, if youwould like more informationon this pretty girl, please contact us on 966710047 oremail info@satanimalrescue.com

MOLLIE we believe to be 4years old; she is a veryaffectionate and happy girlwho loves to play with herkennel mates and enjoysgoing for a walk. She is alsofully vaccinated and microchipped and will be sterilizedbefore she leaves the kennels, as she was in seasonwhen she arrived. She hasa wonderful temperamentand would make a wonderfuladdition to any family. If youwould like more informationon Mollie please contact uson 966710047 or [email protected]

Teddy is a large Mastincross dog that was foundwandering. He is good withother dogs and he is veryfriendly, he is only about 3years old and he is lookingfor a new home. For moreinformation on this lovelyboy please telephone theP.E.P.A. helpline on 650 304746 or email p.e.p.a.animal[email protected]

Molly is a 12 week oldPodenco that has beenfound in the campo alongwith her siblings, she is adorable very quick to learn andher foster carer says she isvery good, their mum is asmall Podenco. Molly is stilla bit nervous and needs agood home for more info call650 304 746 or Email:[email protected]

Kingsley and his brotherTyler were found wanderingas starving, frightened puppies. Since being in theAPAH kennels they have puton weight and grown in con

fidence and are ready for thefirst loving home and family.To meet them please contactYvonne on 630 422 563.

Heidi is one of many of theblack cats living in the APAHCattery. For some reason,beautiful black cats arealways overlooked. Can youoffer Heidi or any of theother 80+ cats and kittens inthe APAH Cattery a lovinghome? Please contactYvonne on 630 422 563.

Cody and BarneyThese 12 week old pupswere found near Almoradi.Both Males They will probably be small to mediumsized dogs and quite slimbuild, they are both very gentle Natured dogs.Please contact K9 or PHONE600 84 54 20 for more infowww.k9club.es

MILLIE was found abandoned with her mother, Mollie.This youngster is 7 monthsold and is a little nervous ofnew people but with us andher kennel mates she’s a different dog; very playful andenergetic. She is aHungarian Vizla type crossbreed who is eager to pleaseand should be easy to train;given enough mental andphysical stimulation we are

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

Milly

Mollie

Kingsley

Bobby

Heidi

Molly Teddy

AVOID THE KILLERCATERPILLARS

THESE ARE THE NESTS TO BEAWARE OF


There´s nothing like achild´s illness to puteverything into perspective. When things are running smoothly and life isticking along it is easy totake things for grantedand keep going andpushing without realisingthat what you are doingcould in some way be badfor you, or for thosearound you.

This winter I have workeda lot more than in previouswinters. I have built myselfup after some rough timesto get to the position whereI can support myself. Thehelp was there when I really needed it but now thathas finished and I am pushing myself to be better; tolive better; and to build afuture. But at what cost? Itis hard enough to make aselfsufficient life here andas mentioned before therehas to be a bit of pushing,but I have begun to realisethat maybe I have beenpushing too hard: not forme, but for my son!

Last Friday he got up,and I made breakfast andwent for my shower. After Ireturned, I noticed that hehadn´t even began to eat

his cereal and he quietlysaid to me that he felt ill.Normally when he´s playing the sickness card, he atleast eats his breakfast sowhen I saw an untouchedbowl of chocolate loops Iknew there had to be someproblem. I sent him back upto bed and settled himdown while I went to startwork. Luckily I didn´t havetoo much to do in the morning and I was soon checking on him. He spent thewhole morning in bed andthen came down to watchtelevision, until around 5o´clock when I needed togo out. Rather than leavinghim on his own and considering that there hadn´tbeen any actual sickness,we both got into the car fora quick trip to the garage tobuy some gas.

He climbed into his seat

while I got myself comfortable and ready to drive,and then I heard it! Theunmistakeable sound coming from the back seat ofthe car as his lunch madean impromptu appearance!I jumped from my seat and,as fast as I could flungopen his door and tried topull him around, so at leastany more that exited wouldnot fall into the car but droponto the road. I was not toosuccessful with this buteventually I got him out andsat down by the side of thecar while I manoeuvred thecar seat out and tried toremove the towel I alwaysplace under his seat to protect it, dropping as little ofthe mixture that was nowseemingly covering everything, as I could.Unfortunately I didn´t dotoo good a job of it

although it was better thanhad I not had the towelthere at all. The seat wastaken to the side of thepool and hosed down andthe towel and clothesplaced in the washingmachine and washedstraight away. I took myson and showered himand then wrapped him inclean pyjamas before taking him upstairs and tucking him into bed to watchtelevision. By then my nextstudents had arrived andalthough my son said hefelt ok it was still worryingthat he had been ill.

The entire next day wasspent with him sleeping inmy bed and occasionallywaking to be sick beforedrifting back to sleep. Ispent the majority of theday at his side writing andorganising things, as well

as passing him the bucketwhen he felt poorly andwiping his brow. Eventuallyby the evening he hadmanaged to eat some toastwhich thankfully he keptdown with some sips ofwater, whilst by Sundaymorning he woke up feelinga bit weak but almost backto normal. I have to worklate most nights and maybemy working hours aren´tgood for him, and I therefore made a decision towork slightly less andorganise my evenings better. By doing that, I hope hehas at least a stableevening environment, andthat he is at home and ableto rest and be comfortablewithout me having to pickhim up late at night to takehim home. It also takessome of the pressure offme. My friends, who have

my son when I have to workaway, have been the bestthat anyone could hope for,but it is still a responsibilityfor them and a pressure forme. That said, the overriding factor in my decision isthe health of my boy. Thisis a time I will never getback with him and I don´twant to miss it or make it abad experience for him. Hewill still get to spend timewith my friends but on better terms for us all and inthe mean time I will continue to cherish the time Ihave with him whilst balancing work and family life.Maybe one day I´ll meet myPrince Charming who canbe there for me and myboy! Until then, I´ll try andmake my son´s formativeyears as stress free andenjoyable as possible forus both.

DON’T READ THISIF YOU’RE EATING!

We all love people power,and the latest events in theUkraine are a very goodexample of that. Thebloody scenes in Kiev, witha strong suspicion ofRussian snipers beinginvolved in taking downprotestors, were a disgraceto what is a parliamentarydemocracy.

But the hired thugs didn’tprevail, and it appears thatthings have stabilised and


that there’ll be fresh elections, which I hope will bemonitored by observers fromkey regions like the EU andRussia. The problem everytime we see such a revolution is what comes next, andso often it turns out to be ashambles of despair. I alsofind it somewhat ironic thatthe Ukrainian people want tojoin the European Union (inan obvious antiRussiasnub), whilst the Euro scep

tics are still very vocal in theUK.

qTalking of which, the LibDem leader and deputy

Prime Minister, Nick Clegg,has had a rush of blood to hishead by choosing to do battlewith UKIP leader, NigelFarage. Clegg on his Londonradio show offered Faragethe chance to debatewhether or not the UK shouldstay in the European Union,and of course seeing the

mass publicity, Faragegrabbed it with both hands.Straight away Clegg hasgiven UKIP a publicity boostalong with added credibility.His opponent is very good atgoing for the jugular mixed inwith humour, and I suspectthat the Lib Dem leader willcome over as a bit of a stiff.It’s not the wisest thing to do,but is it also a sign of desperation that Clegg can see hisproEU party getting one hellof a drubbing in theEuropean elections, and sohe feels he has nothing tolose?

qI couldn’t help laughingthe other day when I

heard the boss of British Gasreacting to some lower profitfigures by waxing lyrical onhow his company’s prioritieswere totally focused on thecustomer. What total poppycock, as the main aim ismaximise profits and to offergenerous dividends to shareholders. The chairman alsosaid that Labour’s move tofreeze prices for 20 months ifthey win the next election

would hamper investmentand might lead to power cuts.Really? I think that RickHaythornthwaite is protestingtoo much and he knows thata Conservative victory wouldbe a more profitable proposition for him and his directors.

qLabour leader EdMiliband is absolutely

right when he says thatsomething needs to be doneto change the weekly jokethat is Prime Minister’sQuestions. The regular circus of points scoring does little to inform the viewing public about the work of

Parliament in addition to illuminating anybody over majorpolices that impact the UK.No wonder the House ofCommons luddites tried tostop tv cameras getting intothe chamber over a quarterof a century ago, but thosethat rightly wanted themthere thought the bearpitatmosphere would changeunder the public glare. Sadlyit hasn’t, but perhaps thatmay be simply down to thefact that the ordinary voterdoesn’t give a hoot aboutwhat goes on there in the firstplace?

NO CHICKENS IN KIEV

Jobseeker's Allowance payments have beensuspended a total of 818,000 times in the UKsince tougher rules were introduced in October2012.

Claimants have had money docked because they havefailed to do enough to find work or turned down job offers,or not turned up to attend an appointment. Serves themright, I hear a lot of people say. People have been sitting ontheir backsides for years living on benefits and without anyintention of doing any work. The Government's tougherrules to encourage people to work rather than live life on thedole has considerable public support. Anything that forcesthem towards getting a job must be good, and if that meansstarving them in the process, then so what?

That's all very well provided that people with very goodreasons for not complying, do not suffer, and, it seems,many have been caught in the trap. Sanctions have led toblind and partially sighted people being forced to rely onfood banks whilst they wait for the government to correct itsown mistakes, according to the Royal National Institute forthe Blind. People are being sanctioned for going to familyfunerals rather than seek work and those without IT skillspenalised for not applying online. This is simply not goodenough! Being tough on the workshy is fair enough but thegovernment is also undermining a very important safety net.UK church leaders have collectively criticised the government for causing hardship and destitution on the altar of trying to reduce the vast welfare budget. As the church leaderspoint out, Britain is the seventh largest world economy yetpeople within it are going hungry. And that's just not acceptable in the 21st century. The Department of Work andPensions said people who are in genuine need can applyfor hardship payments but is it enough, and is it giving sufficient protection for those with genuine illnesses, or havelearning difficulties? Church leaders point out the vast numbers of people having to turn to food banks to make endsmeet. Sometimes it is a difficult call to differentiate betweenthose who are genuinely in need of help, from those whovisit food banks and charity centres simply to get somethingfor nothing. And this is just as much of a problem here inSpain as back in the UK.

qI enjoyed reading the letter in last week's Courier fromDavid Dawson taking me to task for daring to criticise

the trade union movement. I had attacked the rail unions inthe previous week's issue for the recent Undergroundstrikes in London which brought misery for thousands ofpassengers and suggested there should be a better way toresolve disputes rather than resorting to strikes which disrupt countless people and damage the economy into thebargain. Surprisingly, Mr Dawson, I accept and agree with90% of what you write, save that I would never wish us toturn back the clock to 18th and 19th century working conditions. You are obviously not a regular reader of my column,because, otherwise, you would remember that I have not

Friday, February 28, 201416

Tony Mayes

HE ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT

only criticised trade union power, but that of the companyboardroom, where members plot to hold ordinary workers'wage rises to the minimum while awarding themselves double digit rises. It's this above anything else, which hasincreased the division between the super rich and poor.No, Mr Dawson, I don't like union power any more than I likeboardroom power and both are equally damaging. And Ithink I write with some experience, having once been aunion branch chairman, treasurer and secretary and seentrade unionism for the good and the bad.

qI, and I'm sure there are many others, who find it difficult to understand why it is that people who have or

earn a considerable amount of money do their utmost toavoid paying tax which they know they owe, thus resultingin others having to pay more. That’s why I'm delighted tohear that DJ Chris Moyles has had the book thrown at himfor trying to save up to £1 million in tax. A tax court namedMoyles and two other men as having taken part in a schemecalled "working wheels" which counted 450 fund managers,celebrities and other high earners between 2006 and 2008as members. The scheme worked by allowing its membersto say they had incurred large fees while working in the secondhand car trade which they could claim back againsttheir tax bill. Moyles's selfassessment tax return for thefinancial year ending on April 5, 2008, when he was presenting Radio One's Breakfast Show, said he “had engagedin selfemployment as a used car trader". In a statement heclaimed what he was doing was legal, but clearly he wasmisled and he must have known it was immoral, as must theother 450 who signed up to the ridiculous tax avoidancescheme. It's encouraging how opinion has changed overrecent years, as a few years ago the majority of the publicwould have been sympathetic to people who avoided paying tax. Now the vast majority realise that tax avoiders arenot to be admired.

qWomen: imagine you are 18, 3 months pregnant andgang raped. You report it to police, who arrest you and

take you to court, and then you are convicted of "indecent acts". This happened to an Ethiopian woman inSudan, who was given a one month jail stretch, but itwas suspended because she was pregnant. She wasalso fined the equivalent of £530. Incredibly, she hadalso faced charges of adultery and prostitution, whichcould have led to a penalty of death by stoning, butthese were dropped after she convinced the court shewas divorced. The woman was househunting whenshe was lured to an empty property and attacked inOmdurman, just across the River Nile from Khartoum.She now faces deportation to Ethiopia. It's all a verylong way away, so why am I commenting on thisappalling story? Because Sudanese law is based onSharia and women under it are treated incredibly harshly, even being punished for wearing trousers or not covering their hair.

And there are quite a few people living in the UK whowould love to see Sharia law practiced in the country. So bewarned.

qThree times in the past fortnight, people have beenaround the community where I live distributing adver

tising leaflets and mini newspapers. They come, in themain, from supermarkets and DIY stores and are eitherpushed through community letter boxes or stuck into gates,or simply thrown into gardens. Loads more are put undercar windscreens, especially on market days. And the result?Loads of unwanted paper ends up blowing in communitypassageways and in the streets, making an unholy mess forsomeone else to clear up. It used to be common practice inBritain, but recently advertisers learned they got a betterresponse if they actually advertised in newspapers or hadleaflets inserted in them. The result was far less wastepaper flying around in the streets, because people tend toput newspapers into recycling bins when they have finishedreading them, whereas leaflets left under gates, in letterboxes and under windscreen wipers often end up simplybeing thrown on the ground.

qOh dear I went on the web to view the latest news thisweek, and the last thing I wanted to read was this: A

study has found that men begin the unhappiest period intheir lives when they hit 70, with complaints that they feelmore 'hassled' and depressed even though they supposedlyhave fewer troubles. Now, I wouldn't be so concerned,except that I hit 70 in less than 8 months’ time! So what Iwant to know from others who have gone over the 70's hill,is whether you are feeling more hassled now? Apparently,us fellas manage to shrug off the world's problems quite welluntil they get to 70, when things go downhill. Four fifths of70plus men said the hassles they faced from the age of 50receded but then rose after 70 while a fifth reported a surgein happiness from retirement age till 70, then they too experienced a downturn. So, over to you! Let us know in TheCourier letters page.

BRITAIN SHOULD NOTHAVE HUNGRY PEOPLE


Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH

SAY IT IN SPANISHSpanish 111

I hope you remember last week’s lesson on relative pronouns and maybe you have been doing some study on yourown to revise these, or at least I hope you have been practising when to use the ones we have learnt. As you progresswith learning it becomes more complicated, there are morewords to learn and more things to think about, however themore we use what we know the easier it becomes to learnnew things as our confidence grows.

So we are going to continue with relative pronouns and wewill start with él que´, it and its relative forms are used torefer to both people and things. There are as with adjectivesand other types of pronouns four forms of this relative pronoun which relate to whether we are talking masuline or feminine, singular or plural, the four forms are: el que, la que,los que and las que. Of course you are familiar with thedirect article in Spanish and so these first words are not newto you.

This relative pronoun means ´the one that isór ´the onewho is´, for example: mi tío, el que es médico, trabaja enun hospital – My uncle, the one who is a doctor, works in ahospital, las sillas, las que son de madera, son caras – thechairs, the ones that are made of wood, are expensive, mihermana, la que es más mayor, viene pronto – my sister,the one who is older, is coming soon, mis libros, los queson antiguos, son muy interesante – my books, the onesthat are old, are very interesting. There is another set of relative pronouns that can be used in place of el que, la que,los que and las que although these are not normally used ineveryday spoken Spanish and tend to be reserved for moreformal speaking or written Spanish, they are: el cual, la cual,los cuales and las cuales.

When the relative pronoun is referring to an abstract ideaalways use ´lo que´, for example: lo que quieres no existe– that which you want doesn´t exist, no entiendo lo queocurre – I don´t understand that which (what) is happening.

5. Hice una paella. Era deliciosa.La paella___________era deliciosa.The paella that I made was delicious.Now write the second sentence with a different relative

pronoun than appears in the first:1. The girl who is singing is my cousin.La niña que está cantando es mi prima.La niña___________está cantando es mi prima.2. The girls you saw are my sisters.Las chicas que usted vio son mis hermanas.Las chicas___________usted vio son mis hermanas.3. The man you met last night is an author.El hombre que conociste anoche es autor.El hombre___________conociste anoche es autor.4. The man whom I admire is a professor.El hombre a quien admiro es profesor.El hombre ___________es profesor.5. The doctor that you called came immediately.El médico a quien llamó vino en seguida.El médico___________llamó vino en seguida.

Use the correct relative pronoun1. Mi tía___________es profesora, viene a visitarme

hoy.My aunt, who is a profesor, is coming to visit me today.2. Las mesas, ___________son de madera, son caras.The tables, which are made of wood, are expensive.3. Mi tío,___________es cocinero, llegará pronto.My uncle, the one who is a cook, will arrive soon.4. Mis libros, ___________son viejos, son preciosos.My books, which are old, are valuable.5. La mujer,___________es de España, tiene noventa

años.The woman, who is from Spain, is ninety years old.

Next week we will have the answers and also a few moretranslations, have a good week.

I am now going to explain the relative adjective ćuyo´(and it´s related forms) because it relates the owner of something to that which is owned, as in the English word ´whoseÁgain there are four forms which are to be used dependingon masculine or feminine, singular or plural. The four formsare – cuyo, cuya, cuyos, cuyas. In this case the adjectiveagrees in number and gender with the thing being owned notwith the owner.

Examples: La chica, cuyo padre es médico, es muyamable – the girl, whose father is a doctor, is very friendly, elhombre, cuya madre tuvo un accidente, trabaja conmigo– the man, whose mother had an accident, works with me, elcoche, cuyos frenos no funcionan, es un peligro – thecar, whose brakes don´t work, is a danger, Paul, cuyas hermanas están en Inglaterra, es mi amigo – Paul, whose sisters are in England, is my friend.

I am now going to give you some homework to check yourlearning of relative pronouns, including what we did lastweek, If you haven´t seen it or need a bit of revision thenplease check online at www.thecourier.es

Fill in the gaps with one or more words to combine the twosentences into one:

1.Visitamos la ciudad el año pasado. La ciudad esbella.

La ciudad___________el año pasado es bella.The city we visited last year is beautiful.2. La niña canta. La niña es mi prima.La niña___________es mi prima.The girl who is singing is my cousin.3. La señora es anciana. La señora compró una casa.La señora que es ___________compró una casa.The lady who is old bought a house.4. La señorita habla. La señorita es mexicana.La señorita___________habla es mexicanaThe young lady who is speaking is Mexican.

In a time of fast food, dinnertogo andPizza hotlines it becomes more and morecrucial for people to remember healthy eating in order to stay active, feel good andmaintain a healthy weight. For those thatalready chronically feel sick, fatigued andoverweight it is important to review thesekeys to healthy eating in order to changeback to a healthier lifestyle.

1. Eat GreenGreen vegetables have a huge amount of

minerals and dietary fibre in them. The minerals are essential to your health, wellbeingand fighting sickness. Dietary fibre is likethe magic pill when it comes to keepingyour colon healthy and working efficiently.Greens that are good to eat are spinachleaves, broccoli, lettuce, Brussels sprouts,fresh wheat grass and collards.

2. Get MovingStart with a very small amount but do it

continually to build up a habit. When thehabit is there you can increase the amountof exercise you are doing. For weight lossthe slow increase over time will be morebeneficial than a long workout over only ashort time period. Exercise has beenproven to work as a hunger depressant. Afew minutes of walking before dinner alsohelps in keeping the portion size down.

3. Laugh and Be SocialWhen you eat with others you can focus

more of your attention on the conversationsand the interaction that is taking place. Youdo not have to rely solely on your food tomake you happy. Also, laughing is good for

the soul. It defeatsstress and worksagainst depression, twomajor reasons whypeople overeat and turnto food as their comforter.4. Drink Water

Somehow we forgetthis a lot during ourbusy lifestyles. If youdon't drink enough yourbody actually starts tostore water, which willlead to weight gain andwill counteract weightloss. Therefore, make sure you are gettingyour recommended eight cups a day.

5. Get Enough SleepMost people need about seven to eight

hours of sleep a night. When losing weightand going through physical changes youwill be needing more sleep. Not gettingenough sleep will lead to fatigue and acraving for high energy foods to keep yougoing through the day. When you noticefatigue, try a power nap of maximum30minutes instead of a candy bar.

6. Eat FreshEverything that comes in cans, bags,

boxes, bottles and so on is processed foodand has already lost a large amount of itsminerals and vitamins. It might have thesame calories as it did fresh, but the qualityhas degraded. Make sure you get enoughfresh food in your diet to fuel your body with

all the nutrients it needs. Always have freshfruit in the house, keep fresh vegetables inyour refrigerator and if you can afford it buyyour fresh produce in the organic section.Also, a farmers' market is usually the betterchoice than a big store.

7. Avoid HydrogenatedVegetable Oils

More and more people are picking up onthis. Hydrogenated vegetable oils havebeen linked to many diseases lately. Theyare being used in pastry to extend its shelflife. Therefore, always check the ingredients before buying pastries and otherbaked goods.

8. Choose Whole WheatInstead of White Flour

The diet experts are screaming it at youall the time. Avoid the white flour. A grain

consists of its shell, the seed and a starchpocket. In the process of producing flourthe grain is stripped off the seed, which isfatty and would make the flour turn bad inshort time. For white flour the shell is alsotaken away, leaving mainly the starch. Inwholewheat flour the shell is left with thestarch providing dietary fibre, minerals andvitamins. If you want to use wholewheatflour for baking add about 10% more waterto the dough. If you want to compromiseuse 2/3 wholewheat flour and 1/3 whiteflour.

9. Say 'No' to SugarWhite sugar is so refined that it does not

have any vitamins or minerals left. Actually,when white sugar is digested it takes thoseminerals from the body that it needs to beprocessed. Sugar has an addictive effecton the body. Some people may have mildsymptoms of dizziness, headache andsweating when stopping to consume sugar.10. Exchange Bad EatingHabits with Good Ones

Changing to healthy eating is aboutexchanging bad eating habits with goodones. This is the important thing to keep inmind when pursuing weight loss and healthimprovement. Take time to think about badeating habits that you have and instead ofending them, exchange them for goodones. Once you have that good eating habitimplemented move on to the next bad habityou have and keep continuing on this pathof permanent health.


Heart Disease, CoQ10 andCholesterol lowering Statins

TEN KEYS TO HEALTHY EATING

Your heart is the mostactive organ in your body,beating over 100,000 timesevery day. To perform thisamazing feat, the heartneeds to generate enormous energy, and at thecentre of this energy generation is a compound calledCoenzyme Q10 (CoQ10).CoQ10 is required by everycell in the body and provides 2 main functions – itgenerates energy, and asan antioxidant, it removestoxic compounds called freeradicals from the body.CoQ10 is needed the mostby very active organs of thebody such as the heart,brain, liver, and muscles,and these organs start tomalfunction when CoQ10levels start to fall. CoQ10 isproduced in the body, butwith difficult as it requiresmany nutrients that are deficient in most people’s diet.Good food sources ofCoQ10 include; nuts,canola oil, organ meat especially chicken heartand kidneys. CoQ10 levelsstart to decline in the bodyfrom the age of 25, and byage 50 it has fallen to 50%of its original value. And aslevels continue to decline,the risk of developing heart

disease and other chronicillnesses rises. Over 300diseases are now known tobe caused by low levels ofCoQ10. Numerous clinicalstudies have shown thatpeople suffering from cardiac diseases such as heartfailure and arrhythmias(abnormal heart beats) havevery low levels of CoQ10.High blood pressure is alsoa consequence of CoQ10deficiency. CoQ10 levels inthe body are severelydepleted by the commonlyprescribed cholesterol lowering drug – Statins. Whenstatins block the productionof cholesterol, they alsoblock the production ofCoQ10 because both nutrients are produced from thesame pathway. For this reason, the commonest sideeffects of statins occur inthe organs that needCoQ10 the most: sideeffects such as muscle painand weakness, confusion,memory loss, heart failureand tiredness. Statinscause more harm thangain, and should be avoided unless absolutely neces

sary. And if you must continue taking statins, thenensure that you also takeCoQ10 supplements. MitoQis the most active andabsorbable form of CoQ10and has been uniquely formulated to deliver CoQ10directly to the cells, unlikeother earlier forms ofCoQ10. MitoQ is available

from MedB health shop forthe discount price of 43Euros (60 capsules), Call965071745, Delivery is free.For more information visit:www.mitoq.com

FOR FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DRMANNU: 965071745

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINICEmail your questions and comments to [email protected]

With our expert coaching, support and guidance you willbe equipped as never before to lose weight and KEEP ITOFF!

We don’t make false promises and we deal personally withall our clients. If you follow our advice and recommendationswe GUARANTEE that you will have weight loss during your6 weeks with us, or your money back! Does this sound likea PROMISE? We do hope so as we are so convinced thatour programme WILL work for you.

6 Week Programme The programme consists of two sections and runs over a 6

week consecutive period. It is essential that no weeks aremissed as the essence of the success is continuity.

Section 1 is one to one support and individual nutritioninformation and advice

Section 2 is group work where a set programme is introduced which will address physical, social and emotional reasons for the weight problems and will equip the client to makehealthy food choices, to deal with the emotional factors andto develop strategies to ensure that the weight loss can bemaintained for life. This section includes information and agroup exercises (not physical)!

This programme is intended for those who can attend ourclinic but a slightly modified online programme is also available. Contact us today: on 966 191 514 / 722 219 450 oremail info@slimfiteurope.com

The Weight Loss Clinicwith a Difference...

SLIMFIT


QI have seen your topics in the local paper and website. I have had a cough for 5 years now and have

tests in England like a chest Xray, CT scan on lungs,angiogram on my heart, blood tests, ENT appointments,post nasal drip spray, acupuncture, nutritionist.....nothing has given me answer other than the doctors saying there is nothing we can do…learn to live with it. I coughmostly when standing not sitting. I'm at my wits end withmy cough....as it's not in my chest just my throat....hopeyou can help.

AI am sorry to hear of your situation. Indeed you have carried out a lot of tests; however your doctors may have

missed some important tests that can reveal the cause of yourproblem. Many of the diagnostic scans that I perform on people with persistent cough normally reveal a dysfunction of theimmune system, a disorder that encourages the growth ofharmful microbes. Such harmful microbes such as the bacteriastreptococcus and staphylococcus share our environment withus, but are unable to cause problems until our immune systembecomes compromised. Since doctors have no way of readilychecking for the presence of such microorganism in the body,they blindly prescribe antibiotics as a cover. Unfortunately, inmany cases, this results in far more harm than good.Antibiotics operate in a blind fashion as they are unable to tellthe difference between the beneficial microbes in our guts thatform part of our immune system, and the deadly pathogensthat may cause cough. The first course of antibiotics prescribed usually provides some relief; but as the protective beneficial microbes are destroyed as well, it becomes easier forthe deadly microbes to recolonize the gut. And from the gut,these microbes spread to the rest of the body, especially thelungs. Antibiotics also damage the immune system by lowering the sensitivity of protective white blood cells to the pres

ence of harmful pathogens. Another important investigationthat is neglected at hospitals is a screen for the presence ofcontaminants or toxins. These contaminants cause inflammation wherever they are found, and they are commonly found inthe respiratory tract – pharynx, trachea, bronchi and lungs. Ihave had a lot of success treating chronic cough – not causedby microbes – with reishi extracts. Reishi is a mushroom, andis best known for its immune modulating effect – it can stimulate or suppress the immune system, depending on what thebody desires, unlike something like the herb Echinacea thatcan only stimulate the immune system. Reishi also has healingeffects on other systems of the body including the detox system in charge of eliminating toxins from the body. My advice toyou however will be to have a full health check, but unfortunately such detailed health checks are not available at publichospitals. Such a scan however, is available at MedB. FOR AFULL BODY HEALTH CHECK AT MEDB, CALL DR MANNU:965071745

QHaving not long ago had a checkup for prostate cancer, the blood test came back normal. Would a blood

test show up any cancer cells in the body? I was interested to hear about inflammation of the digestive tract. Isometimes get a bit of diarrhoea and my hips tend toache. What sort of medication can you take for conditionslike this? I detox by drinking lots of red fruit juices.

AThe blood test for prostate cancer does not check forprostate cancer cells, rather it measures the blood levels

of a protein called PSA (prostate specific antigen). The PSAtest was never intended as a screen for prostate cancer, butrather as a way to monitor those already suffering fromprostate cancer. Nevertheless it´s a good thing yours cameback negative. When blood PSA levels rises above 4 or 5ng/dl, it is considered significant. A number of disorders of the

prostate gland other than prostate cancer can raise the levelsof PSA. Prostatitis or inflammation of the prostate is a commonproblem in men, and can easily raise blood levels of PSA, andsuch a finding may prompt the investigating doctor to recommend a biopsy, which in this case is completely unnecessary.Ideally biopsies should only be carried out when absolutelynecessary because they frequently cause damage to the genital and sexual organs. Other disorders that can cause anincrease in PSA levels include an enlargement of the prostate,as well as activities such as riding a bicycle or having sex aday before the blood test. Diarrhoea can be triggered by manyfactors and inflammation is normally the underlying cause.Have you had a change in your diet or taking a medication?With diarrhoea, however, it is best to visit your doctor to ruleout more sinister causes. Joint pains are usually caused byosteoarthritis a joint disorder that occurs when the cartilagethat normally protects the end of bones, and prevents themfrom rubbing together, wearsoff. Rather than prescribe antiinflammatories or pain killers that only stop pain, our approachat our clinic, is to encourage the body to regrow brand new cartilage. And we do this with the supplements Laminine andMSM (Methyl Sulphonyl Methane). MSM is the natural form oforganic sulphur in the body, and a necessary requirement formaking the protein – Collagen, which is needed to maintainthe structure of our bones, joints and skin. MSM rather thancalcium is the required nutrient for maintaining healthy bones.It is a strong antiinflammatory agent, and can dramaticallyreduce the pain of severe arthritis within a few hours, when theright dose is taken. Laminine is unique for healing joint andbone pain because it promotes the regeneration of damagedcartilage and bone tissue. Laminine contains fibroblast growthfactor which stimulates reserve cells in joints and bones calledfibroblasts to regenerate new tissue. These supplements areavailable from MedB health shop. Call 965071745

COUGHING UP AN ANSWER


An eastern wind blew into Torrevieja’sParque de las Naciones with the localSlavic Union staging a Russian Day Gala.There wasn’t so much of the vodka andcaviar, but certainly some quality entertainment, including Kyrgyztanborn

Galina Kuprivantseva dancing thefamous Kalinka. And if you missed thefun, then don’t worry, because publicdemand has led to a full repeat performance being staged in the Parque frommidday this Sunday!

Come comrades, come!The Doloresbased S.A.T. Animal

Rescue charity received a recentboost in their project to build somenew kennels when they picked up acheque for 200 Euros from MikeSmith, the President of the RojalesPantomime Group. The money will gointo the S.A.T. pot for their “Buy aBrick” project for their kennel expansion.

S.A.T was founded in 1992 by agroup of people of all nationalities whosaw the need for a sanctuary for theabandoned dogs that roamed thestreets of Torrevieja. Today, with itskennels at Dolores which can homeup to 70 dogs, it is still a multinationalorganisation and a registered charity withthe Valencian Community. Their aim is to

prevent unnecessary suffering for the manyabandoned dogs within the Costa Blancaarea, with the priority being to find them anew home.

MORE BRICKS

Torrevieja Costa Lions Club is getting ready for theirbirthday party with the annual celebration of the Clubreceiving its Charter. The formal black tie and dressesevent will be in Quesada at the Clubhouse venue on theMarquesa Golf Course on Saturday April 5th. It begins at7.00pm with a Cava and Canapes reception, followed bya three course dinner with wine in the ClubhouseRestaurant. Music and entertainment will be provided byPDQ, with tickets priced at 30 Euros each. For moredetails, including the menus, you contact the LionsSecretary Iain Bennett on [email protected] orby phoning 966 731 495

Lions let their hair down

The popular Buddy Holly tribute act, Woody, is back onstage again to help out the Cats N Dogs Aid Association attheir Charity Night this coming Tuesday(March 4th). The eventis on at the El Alto La Dolores Restaurant in Guardamar, witha BBQ meal costing 10 Euros. The evening starts at 7.00pm,and you can buy tickets from the restaurant itself; The PostRoom, Benijofar; The Card Place, Benimar; and from the Catsand Dogs Charity shop in Quesada. The Cats N Dogs AidAssociation started two years ago with the main aim to trapand then neuter feral cats before letting them go, as well asrescuing and rehoming abandoned dogs.

Playing cats and dogs

Los Montesinos is staging a carnival inthe main square this Saturday (March1st), kicking off at 5.00pm. Prizes will begiven to the best fancy dress costumesfor both individuals and groups, with aspecial prize to be awarded to the largestgroup of people who’ve dressed up forthe evening. A full programme of entertainment has been lined up as well as thetraditional treat of chocolates for everybody to tuck into.

MONTE’S TREAT

A new charity to helpneedy people in the LaMarina and San Fulgencioarea opens the doors of itsfundraising shop tomorrow(Saturday March 1st). Thecharity is called Asociacionde Ayuda al Necesitado deSan Fulgencio, which plansto get food which will then behanded over to the TownHall, who in turn will give itout to those families thatneed it the most.

The shop opens tomorrowat 10.00am and is on PlazaSierra de Castilla on the LaMarina Urb, close toCagney’s Bar. They’ll be selling a wide range of secondhand goods including furniture, clothes and books. Anydonations will be gratefullyaccepted, as well as volunteers who can give a fewhours each week to help outin the shop. For more details,call Pauline on 660 934 615.

HELPING HAND

15 hardy members of the Hondon Valleybranch of the Royal British Legion wrappedthemselves up nice and warm recently for awalk around Novelda, but in the end theywere greeted by warm weather with everybody not knowing what to do with theircoats! The club organise a variety of socialoccasions, as well some of the more formalmeetings at the Monte Alto Restaurant inNieves. For more details about the meetings andhow to join the branch, phone 650 896 923or Email: [email protected].

HARDY HONDON The Ladybirds CostaBlanca has come uptrumps again with their latest fundraising effortwhich was a ValentinesDinner and Dance at theCampoamor Golf Hotel.Over 100 guests enjoyedthe food and entertainmentas well as being generousin buying the raffle ticketsfor a top selection of prizesdonated by local businesses. The great sum of 1thousand Euros was raisedwhich the Ladybirds havegiven to the Alzheimer’sAssociation in Torrevieja.

AFA BOOST


STEVE IS SECOND2NONE!Second2none really know their furniture with the owner

Steve and his family moving to Spain over 20 years ago,opening their 5 thousand square foot showroom back inAugust 2012.

Steve’s knowledge of the furniture trade means that he’squickly built up a great reputation for honesty with customersfrom all countries who have made this region their home.Second2none boasts an excellent choice in new and usedbeds and various other household items, with the companyhappy to buy quality used furniture from a single item to a fullhouse clearance!

Second2none is based on the Santa Ana industrial estate,Guardamar del Segura (next to Picknpay), and you’ll get awarm welcome when you pay a visit to see what the kind ofgreat deals they have on offer.

COMPREHENSIVE CARE FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND

The San Antón Veterinary Group was founded in 1990 withthe idea of giving a prime quality veterinary service. From thebeginning, we received the confidence of our regulars thathelped improve the clinics day by day. San Anton group nowhas 8 clinics and a hospital open 24 hours a day. Covering thearea from Orihuela Costa to La Marina, San Anton is one of thebiggest veterinary groups in Spain. In San Anton 24hrs Hospitalin Guardamar del Segura you’ll find everything that your petmay need. All the San Anton’s vets have the experience, knowledge, and technology to treat your pet. All staff speak English,German, French, and Spanish. San Anton’s Hospital is fullyequipped with all the modern and advanced appliances .Permanent supervised hospitalization is available 24hours perday, 7 days per week. For any pet problems call today and youwill receive help from one of the friendly staff at San Anton.

NEXUS FOR YOUR NEXT HOME Nexus Grupo have a team of excellent

professionals dedicated to making findingyour dream home an enjoyable andstress free experience. For more information on all services provided by NexusGrupo visit www.nexusgrupo.com

IF YOU WANT TO BUY OR SELLYOUR PROPERTY, WE´RE YOUR

STATE AGENCY!

We manage your building or residence. Advise on any subject having to

do with your home or community. Carry out any type of claim in

your home or community before thecourts. Legally defend their rights, after

professional agreement.

TIP TOP TEETHIf you’re looking for a pleasant dental experience, then why not

try out the Centro Medico Alone on the Main Street in Guardamar?With 13 years of experience across a range of medical treatments,the centre has really expanded its dental service over the last 3years.

What do you have to lose? Using the best technology to give youa painfree visit, the two surgeons will give you a friendly welcomeas your first check is free of charge and there’s a free Xray tocheck out those molars and premolars. With a friendly and relaxing atmosphere, your best possible oral health is guaranteed.Don’t forget that the Centro Medico Alone offers a full general medical service, in addition to things like foot treatment, physiotherapy,dermatology, nutrition and dietetics. It’s also the place to go to if youneed a medical certificate for driving, boating or weapons licenses.

Centro Medico Alone is open weekdays from 9.30 a.m. to 1.30p.m. and from 4.30 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. Follow them on Facebook:centromedicoalone; Twitter: alonedental and Google+ for the verylatest offers and discounts.

GUARDAMARFocus on

MethodSoak 8 small bamboo

skewers in water for at leastan hour before you startcooking, to stop them fromcatching. Preheat the ovento 170°C/325°F/gas 3. Cutthe tips from the wings andstretch them out as much aspossible, then push a skewer through the length of eachwing to straighten andsecure.

Add the hot chilli sauce,apple juice, honey, miso,ginger, garlic and half of thespring onions to a roastingtray (roughly 25cm x 30cm).Mix well to combine, thentransfer half the sauce to asmall pan and set aside.

Place the chicken skewersinto the roasting tray, turning

them in the sauce to coat,then cover the tray with tinfoil, making sure it's tightlysealed around the edges.Place in the hot oven foraround 1 hour 30 minutes, oruntil lightly golden andcooked through, removingthe foil for the final 15 minutes. Meanwhile, place asmall frying pan over a medium heat, add the sesameseeds and toast gently for 1to 2 minutes, or until golden.Set aside.

When the chicken is done,place the pan of sauce overa low heat for around 5 minutes, or until thickened to anice consistency, stirringoccasionally. Meanwhile,place a griddle pan over ahigh heat, then add theskewers and griddle for 3 to4 minutes, or until crisp anddark, turning halfway – youmay need to do this in batches.

Transfer the wings to aserving platter, pouring overany juices from the tray.Drizzle with the sauce, thenpick over the corianderleaves. Top with the remaining spring onions, fresh chilliand toasted sesame seeds.


Gangnam-stylechicken wings

Ingredients8 higherwelfare chicken wings2 tablespoons hot chilli sauce150 ml fresh cloudy apple juice2 tablespoons runny honey2 tablespoons sweet miso1 thumbsized piece of fresh ginger, peeled and finely

grated3 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely grated8 spring onions, trimmed and finely sliced3 tablespoons sesame seeds½ a bunch of fresh coriander1 fresh red chilli, finely sliced


The popular JP’s Rocajuna Bar andRestaurant in Punta Prima is now under newmanagement offering top quality drinks, foodand entertainment, courtesy of Jim and Liz.Owning the Rocajuna was a dream cometrue for the couple, who’ve been coming toSpain for most of their lives, and have nowdecided to make it their home!

Jim and Liz are pushing out the boat for aspecial Grand Opening Night on ThursdayMarch 6th from 8.00pm with a free buffet andspecially priced drinks, along with live musicto make the whole evening go with a swing.They’ve brought in a new chef, Jimmy, whoused to own the La Tasca Restaurant on theOrihuela Costa. His dishes are all freshly prepared which taste as good as they look andhe specialises in making some truly mouthwatering desserts.

Why not try out a fantastic Sunday Lunchat the Rocajuna? A main course will cost youjust 7.95 Euros, with 2 courses for 8.95Euros, with the full 3 course package on salefor just 10.95 Euros. And as an added bonusduring March, if you have the 3 course

Sunday Lunch, then you get a FREE bottle ofwine per couple. Children under 12 eat freewith paying adults on the Sunday lunchtime,as well as for all bar meals.

You can get your grey matter working withthe weekly Friday night quiz which startsfrom 8.00pm which also includes a small buffet and some drinks promotions, and you getthat bonus every Wednesday evening for theFun Darts session, which also gets going at8.00pm.

It’s not long to go before St Patrick’s Day,and the Rocajuna will be celebrating the bigday on Monday March 17th with live musicand some bargain drinks, with a chance foryou to taste some traditional Irish bacon andcabbage for just 5 Euros from 4.00pm.

If you fancy a refreshing drink, then try ajug of traditional Sangria for only 5 Euros,and watch out for the Rocajuna opening upbright and early for breakfast in the nearfuture. And if you want a place for a privateparty or wedding reception that will guarantee you a good time, for reservations or anyenquires please call Gerard the Bar Manager

Rocajuna’s new look

Friday, February 28, 201428

SPANISH NEWS

Spain’s football team should adopt theendangered Iberian Lynx as its mascot todraw attention to its precarious status: that’s the view of a leading Spanish conservationist, Astrid Vargas.

It’s just one of the ideas included in a newbook published by the Spanish Society forthe Conservation and Study of Mammals(SECEM). Scientists, journalists, lawyers,actors, entrepreneurs, landowners, environmentalists and even hunters have cometogether to suggest ways to conserve thespecies, of which only 300 remain.

The Iberian Lynx (Lynx pardinus) is one ofthe most endangered mammals in the world,and lives exclusively in Spain and Portugal.Experts say that if it were to become extinct,it would be the first feline species to do sosince prehistoric times.

Vargas has an impressive CV when it

comes to saving animals, according toSpanish daily 20 Minutos. She is creditedwith saving the blackfooted ferret fromextinction in the United States. Then from2003 to 2010 she led the first successfulcaptive breeding programme for the Iberianlynx.

There would be no damage done to themacho selfimage of Spain's footballers if thelynx were to be added to their red shirts. It isdescribed as a handsome, strong, agile,quick and deadly predator. But the cat'snumbers have declined due to loss of habitat, traffic accidents and the effects of disease on its main food source, rabbits.

There has been no official word thatSpain's Football Federation is consideringusing the lynx but an informal campaign hasbeen started by some journalists and campaigners.

LYNX FOR MEN

Thousands of people took to the streetsof several Spanish cities last Sunday toprotest against what they see as a majorreduction of civil rights in the country.Madrid, Valencia and Almeria wereamongst the centres to see the protestswhich saw demonstrators calling for an endto the socalled 'gagging law', which will seefines of between 30,000 and 600,000 eurosfor staging protest marches, even peacefulones, and for the proposed law restrictingabortion to be abolished. Workers from the

CocaCola plants due to be shut down,including the one in Alicante, joined some ofthe protests.

Protestors claim that privitisation in Spainof everything from fire brigades to thehealth service and even blood transfusionswill cost the State even more. Marchersdemonstrated against price rises caused bytax hikes which mean, according to variousoverseas humanitarian organisations, aperson in Spain does not even have to beunemployed to suffer poverty.

MORE PROTESTS

A record 800,000 businesses havebeen set up by Spanish women inthe last five years, with femalesnow accounting for 40% of all newbusiness owners in Spain, doublethe proportion seen before thestart of the economic depression.In what has been described as asilver lining to the years of economic turmoil, femaleled startup’s have sprung up across thecountry, and more and more venture capitalists have been backing

“MUJERES” LEADTHE WAYfledgling businesses. The new businesses have been set updespite the notoriously bureaucratic startup process in Spain. The country is in thebottom half of the World Bank ranking onthe ease of starting a business, coming142nd out of 189 countries. Typically, ittakes 23 working days and around 1 thousand Euros to start a business in Spain.

Spain has the largest amount of emptyproperties in Europe according to a newreport, with 3.4 million unsold buildings thatcould house the whole of Europe’s homelesspopulation of 4.1 million. Europe’s growingproblem of homelessness could be solved ata stroke, say campaigners.

The study was done by a Europeanwidegroup called FEANSTA, that coordinatesnational campaigning groups fighting for therights of homeless people. With 3.4 millionvacant homes, Spain has more than Italy,estimated to have 2.2 million empty properties, and Germany, which has slightly less at1.8 million.

Freek Spinnewijn from FEANTSA, said:“Even half of these empty properties wouldbe enough to stop people from having tosleep in the streets.

The blame for the empty properties inSpain has been laid squarely at the feet ofthe housing market and its investors. Spain'sconstruction bubble in the decade before the

beginning of the financial crisis was "fedlargely by Britons and Germans buyinghomes in the sun," according to the report,leading to prices rising by 44 percentbetween 2004 and 2008.

María José Aldanas of Spanish housingand homelessness association Proviviendasaid: "Spain is suffering from high numbersof repossessions and evictions, so we havereached a point where we have too manypeople without a home and many homeswithout people."

Banks have been accused of sitting onempty properties rather than lowering pricesto sell them. Critics say that this is donedeliberately to artificially inflate the assetscolumn of banks' accounts above true market value. Some councils have reportedlywarned banks that they will be fined by up to100 thousand Euros if repossessed homesremain empty for over two years while othershave threatened that they will be compelledto hand them over for use as social housing.

Spain’s empty shame


SPANISH NEWS

Six family membersincluding three children losttheir lives in a house fire inBurgos on Saturday.Firefighters and ambulancesrushed to a holiday home inTordomar, near the city ofBurgos, to find the countryhouse in flames and severalpeople trapped inside, rescuers said.

"Medical personnel at thescene confirmed the deathof six people three adultsand three minors apparently from smoke inhalation," the regional emergency services said in astatement. Medics took fivesurvivors to hospital to be

treated for burns and smokeinhalation, including asevenmonthold baby boyand five year old girl.

Burgos government official, Jose Maria Arribas, saidthe family were staying inthe house for a celebration,

adding that he believed thatthe blaze was thought tohave been started by aspark from a fireplace setting fire to a sofa. Reportssaid that the children killedin the blaze were agedbetween four and six.

SPARK OF DEATH

One of Spain’s greatest historical siteswas reopened for public visits yesterday buton a very restricted basis. The Altamira Cavein northern Spain and its incredible prehistoric paintings have been shut off from publicsight for the last 12 years, but now restrictedgroups of five people a week will be allowedin for visits of just eight minutes. The restricted group numbers are to prevent the spreadof microorganisms due to human visitors.

The cave at Santillana del Mar, in theCantabria region, was closed in 2002 afterdamage had been found to its polychromeprehistoric paintings which had been causedby the carbon dioxide in the breath of thelarge number of visitors. But last month, thefoundation which manages the cave,declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO,

said it could reopen but only to limitedgroups of five people a week until Augustwhen the impact of the visits on the paintingswould be reassessed.

The culture ministry in Madrid opened upthe cave to a first group yesterday, whichwas selected at random among visitors tothe nearby Museo de Altamira. Overall 192visitors would be allowed in under the testprogramme, with everybody having to comply with a strict dress code which involveswearing special suits, masks and shoes.

The cave whose walls are covered withpaintings that include abstract shapes andanimal subjects over a length of more than270 metres was discovered in 1868. It wasinhabited approximately 35,000 to 13,000years ago.

CAVE TREAT

A 31 year old Morroccan man who saidthat the province of Almeria was anindependent country has been deniedSpanish citizenship for the third time ofasking. The man’s been living in Spainsince 1996 and he had been hopingthat Spain’s National Court would overturn earlier decisions made againsthim. But his appeal was quashed afterhe told a judge that Spain bordered thecountries of "Almeria and Jonquera", aCatalan municipality near the Frenchborder.The court ruled that while theMoroccan could speak Spanish well, hecouldn't understand the questionsasked of him and "lacked basic knowledge about Spain's political system".He "didn't know what the Constitutionwas" or "what elections were for" and

didn't know about tax returns or socialsecurity. This made it impossible togrant Spanish citizenship to the manwho is married with two children, thecourt ruled.The man, a resident of Catalonia, hadpreviously seen citizenship bids fail in2009 and 2012, El Público newspaperreported. The law says that when people apply for Spanish citizenship, theymust answer a series of questionsdemonstrating they have integratedinto Spanish society. The interviewtakes about ten minutes and involves30 questions. Applicants are expectedto get a score of 27 or above. Last year,a Senegalese man was denied citizenship after it emerged he didn't know thename of the wife of Spanish PrimeMinister Mariano Rajoy.

CITIZENSHIP REFUSED

Murcia’s Ruth Lorenzo willrepresent Spain in thisyear’s Eurovision SongContest in Copenhagen.Ruth, who finished fourth inthe X Factor on ITV in 2008,will be flying the colours forSpain with Dancing in theRain, which will be the firstSpanish entry in many yearsto feature English lyrics.

Ruth, who is better knownback in Britain, and actuallyturned down an offer fromthe BBC last autumn to represent the UK in this year’sContest, was chosen out offive finalists by a professional jury made up of established Spanish pop artists,combined with a viewervote, as part of a gala televised from Barcelona on La1 last Saturday night. It wasa tight affair with Lorenzotied with another hopeful,Brequette, after the judges'votes but came out on topwhen the televoting figureswere added.

At last year's Eurovision,in Sweden, the Spanishgroup, El Sueño de Morfeo –whose lead singer Raqueldel Rosario is the exwife ofracing driver Fernando

Alonso – came second frombottom with Contigo hasta elfinal ('with you 'til the end')after earning just eightpoints from the voters.

Murciaborn Ruth Lorenzowas 26 when she made hermark on The X Factor, andher mentor, Dannii Minogue,called her 'an incrediblevocalist' and 'the loveliestperson she had ever workedwith' on the programme.That same season of the

show produced eventualwinner, Alexandra Burke,and the pop band, JLS. Lastyear, Ruth wrote a new trackcalled Because you areBeautiful for Minogue’s latest “Best of Collection”, aswell as releasing her ownsingle 'The Night'. Ruth cowrote the SpanishEurovision entry, Dancing inthe Rain, with her Britishteam of Julian Emery andJim Irvin

Vamos Ruth!


TENERIFE -YOUR PERFECT YEARROUND DESTINATION.

By Sally BengtssonTenerife is the largest of the seven Canary Islands, which

form this Atlantic Ocean archipelago. This sunkissed holiday hotspot, situated closer to Africa (300km away) than toSpain (1,000 km away), welcomes millions of people everyyear who are looking for relaxation, adventure, good timesand fantastic weather!

The island of Tenerife measures 130 km long and is 90 kmat its widest point. It offers a huge variety of scenery andlandscapes, from the golden, sandy beaches in the south tothe dramatic lunar landscape of Mount Teide National Park,with pine forests in the north and giant cliffs to the west.Tenerife has something for everyone.

The wonderful climate draws people to the island all yearround. Whether you are interested in water sports, clubbing,chilling out on the beach, the endemic plant life of the island,discovering hidden gems, exploring typical Canarian villagesor taking a cable car to Spain’s highest peak, Teide, you aresure to have a great time.

The island’s well loved resorts such as Playa de lasAmericas, Los Cristianos, La Pineda, Puerto de la Cruz andLa Caleta offer everything from peaceful, laidback relaxation to full on thrills day and night. If you get tired of lyingon the beach, find some shade in the exotic green oasis ofthe Jardín Botánico or make waves in Europe’s biggestwater park – Siam Park.

In any Spanish destination, there’s always something festive happening. Tenerife is no exception, and though manyevents are designed with an eye towards the tourist trade,these are essentially local celebrations, some with a longhistory. Visitors are always welcome to join in. The carnivalis one of the best in the whole of Spain, and is often compared to the celebrations in Rio de Janeiro.

Puerto de la Cruz is the second largest tourist city on theisland with accommodation for around 30,000 tourists. Incontrast with the modern resorts of the south, El Puerto hashad a great tradition as a place of relaxation since the endof the last century when the spa, which today is the HotelCasino Tauro, was built. The accommodation offered inPuerto de la Cruz is also different from most of the otherplaces on the islands since hotels predominate over apartments. Holiday makers here come from all over the world,but it is still a favourite amongst Spaniards. The lushness ofthe gardens and the agreeable atmosphere are very specialfeatures of this city, which has lively places to stroll around.In the evening the streets near the Plaza del Charco and thepromenade are pleasant places of enjoyment where onecan eat at any of the many open air restaurants, all this in apleasant climate and with the ever present sea. The cityhouses a number of buildings of great historical and artisticvalue such as the church of Nuestra Señora de la Peña, laErmita de San Telmo, el castillo de San Felipe, la casa de laAduana and the old quay where small fishing boats are stillmoored.

One of the greatest attractions of el Puerto is withoutdoubt the Lago Martianez. This series of seawater poolsconceived by the Canary artist Cesar Manrique forms anextraordinary spot for bathing and resting in the sun.Harmonising his architecture with the exotic vegetation ofthe volcanic coast Cesar Manrique created his most beautiful project.

Besides the Lago, Puerto de la Cruz has small beaches ofvolcanic sand, the best ones being Playa Jardin andMartianez. On the outskirts of the city the botanical gardensand the Loro Park are a must for the nature lovers. Thebotanical gardens founded in 1788 harbour an enormousnumber of trees and plants from every corner of the planetthanks to the benign climate of Tenerife. Loro Park is another tropical garden with the largest collection of parrots in theworld, a parrot show and an excellent dolphinarium.

The bustling capital city of Santa Cruz is located on theeastern tip of Tenerife and is home to one of the most historically important harbours in the Atlantic Ocean. The city rapidly developed in the 19th century, as fleets bound for theAmericas would regularly stop here, helping to firmly fix thisdestination on the world map. Today, it is a vibrant and cosmopolitan hive of activity, full of interesting places to visit,attractive architecture, great shopping and an abundance of

excellent restaurants. The harbour is a gateway into mainland Spain and a stop off point for cruise liners travelling tothe Caribbean.

One great way to explore the city is by taking an opentopbus tour where you can jump on and off, taking in importantlandmarks en route. Culture is alive and well in Santa Cruzand among the riches on offer are the Auditorio de Tenerife,the Parliament buildings of the Canary Islands, several LaLaguna University faculties, not to mention the excitingshopping area in Plaza de España on the seafront, whichleads up to Plaza de la Candelaria (Square of Candelaria),where you can buy international brands at tax free prices. Inaddition, the tourist board is located in the city and here youcan collect maps, street plans and other information.

Santa Cruz is also home to Playa de las Teresitas, anunspoiled beach that remains resolutely beautiful with palmtrees dotted around the large expanse of golden sand. It sitsbelow the lush forests of the Anaga Mountains, which protect the bay from winds. The turquoise waters are lovely andcalm; you can play volleyball, take part in aerobic classes ifyou are feeling active or simply relax in the sunshine.

Playa de Las Americas Beach is a tourist Mecca built atthe end of the 1960’s. It is adjacent to Los Christianos andthe Adeje Coast. The year round sunshine, neverendingnight life and calm waters have made these two beachresorts a firm favourite amongst Brits and other NorthernEuropeans. Massive development has allowed LasAmericas to constantly reinvent itself over the years from theheady booze and fun vacations of the 80´s to today’s pedestrian quarters lined with first rate hotels and restaurants. Amix and match setup that appears to appeal to all segmentsholidaymakers and vacationers alike. With some streets fullof British pubs, fish and chips restaurants, pizza parloursand other fast food establishments – it’s like being at homefor Brits who are not keen on Spanish food.

The island has so much to offer the visitor. Rent a carand travel around this fascinating island. You are sure tofind something to take your breath away.

The widow of murdered soldier Lee Rigby told ajudge of her endless heartache Wednesday – justmoments before his brutal killers were dragged kicking and screaming to jail.

In an emotional impact statement read to thecourt, Rebecca Rigby, 31, said she and her twoyearold son Jack had been left devastated by herhusband’s death.

But she vowed: “Lee will never be forgotten. Wewill always love him and miss him every day.”

She added: “I know my son will grow up and seeimages of his dad that no son should have to endureand there is nothing I can do to change it.

“We both talked about the dangers of Afghanistanand we braced ourselves for it. We live in the Armyand have seen death happen to people and we knowthe risks. When you wave someone off you acceptthere is a chance you never see them again.

"You don’t expect to see this on the streets of theUK.”

Her dignified statement was in sharp contrast tothe scenes that followed as Lee’s murderers had tobe bundled down the stairs at the Old Bailey’s Court No 2after scuffling with officers in the dock.

Michael Adebolajo, 29, and Michael Adebowale, 22,shouted “Lies, lies!”, “No betrayal!” and “Allahu Akhbar! (Godis great)” as nine prison guards took two minutes to restrainthem.

The pair were eventually carried by their hands and feet tothe cells.

Their violent outburst came after Mr Justice Sweeney toldthem they had betrayed Islam by moving down Lee in a carthen hacking him to death in a horrifying daylight attack.

Ringleader Adebolajo, of Lewisham, South East London,will die behind bars after being given a whole life sentence.

Adebowale, of Greenwich, South East London, was givenlife with a recommendation that he serves at least 45 years.

The judge said Adebowale had played a lesser role, wasyounger and had a mental condition.

Lee’s stepdad Ian Rigby said in an impact statement:“After all he had been through in Afghanistan, all Lee wasdoing was walking through London. After seeing the TV andseeing the violence, we just can’t comprehend it. We take itall in, but it doesn’t clock in your head.”

Rebecca and Lee’s fiancee, Aimee West,began sobbing as the scuffle broke out and thedock.

Passing sentence, the judge told Adebolajoand Adebowale: “You each converted to Islamsome years ago.

"Thereafter you were radicalised and eachbecame an extremist espousing a cause andviews which, as has been said elsewhere, are abetrayal of Islam and of the peaceful Muslimcommunities who give so much to this country.”

It was at this point the killers began shoutingand struggling with officers.

As they were carted off, Mr Justice Sweeneycontinued: “You decided to murder a soldier inpublic in broad daylight and to do so in a waythat generated maximum media coverage,including getting yourselves killed by armedofficers who were bound to attend the scene,thereby expecting that you would become martyrs and each gain a place in paradise.”

Both men were only wounded when policeopened fire – and officers immediately administered first aidbefore ambulancemen arrived.

Describing Lee as an “outgoing and popular personality”,the judge added:

“You butchered him, going far beyond what was needed tomurder him. It is no exaggeration to say that what the two ofyou did resulted in a bloodbath.

“Aspects were seen, as they were intended to be, by thepublic. You both gloried in what you had done.”

The judge praised members of the public who bravelytried to halt the “sickening and pitiless” attack.

And he told the killers: “Neither of you has any real insightinto the enormity of what you did, nor any genuine remorse.Your only regret is that you did not succeed in your plan tobe shot dead which resulted in you being brought to justicebefore the court.

“I am equally sure in each of your cases that this was amurder with a terrorist connection.”

Outside court, a noisy protest was stagedby about 200members of the far right English Defence League whowaved Union Jacks and chanted “bring back hanging”.

The pair were found guilty last December of murder butthe judge waited until today to pass sentence.

This was in the light of a European Court ruling that wholelife sentences could not be passed because they infringedhuman rights.

However, this ruling was overturned in the Appeal Courtlast week by five judges, including the Lord Chief JusticeLord Thomas, who said whole life terms in the most seriouscases could be passed.


UK HEADLINES

COWARDLY KILLERSTO ROT IN JAIL

Blundering council workers can expect to be keptbehind after class aftermisspelling a road sign theypainted outside a primary

school.Contractors were asked

to alter the street layoutoutside Highfield PrimarySchool in Chester in a bid

to improve rushhour trafficproblems.

But after resurfacing theroad, workers then managed to spell 'Keep Clear'as 'Keep Claer' in brightyellow paint.

Redfaced officers atCheshire West and ChesterCouncil said they are looking into what went wrong,the Chester Chroniclereports.

The mishap comes justmonths after council work

men made a similar mistake with road markingsnearby.

Council officers inChester also mistakenlypainted no parking signsoutside a care home believing it was a school

Yellow zig zag lines werepainted outside a site forolder people’s accommodation in error and quickly hadto be painted over.

Workers apparentlythought the care home wasstill a school, even though itclosed in 2008 and waslater demolished.

BOTTOM OF THE CLASS


Horoscopes By Pandora

Aries March 21 April 19 There are plenty of opportunities outthere, and you’re tempted to seize everyone of them. Well, Aries, a bit of discrimination is in order if you’re going to makethe best use of the auspicious atmosphere. Travel is definitely in the picture,as is continuing your education in someway. It could be something simple, suchas enrolling in a cooking class at an adulteducation center.

Taurus April 20 May 20 You’re likely to receive a windfall of somesort today. Be cautious with it, Taurus. Ifyou invest it wisely, it will serve you longand well. Your curiosity has been piquedabout some rather esoteric subjects, perhaps the dark arts. Why not visit your locallibrary to check out some books on thesetopics of interest?

Gemini May 21 June 20A change of scene is in store for you,Gemini. It’s unclear whether or not this is avoluntary move, but it’s clear that chaosand confusion reign over the next fewdays. There is much to be done.Fortunately, your organizational abilitieswill serve you well. You don your general'shat, wield your clipboard like a sword, andget everybody doing your bidding. Themove is completed in record time!

Cancer June 21 July 22It’s possible that you could fear for yourjob today, Cancer. Fortunately, thosefears are unfounded. There is a lot ofupheaval occurring at work. You’re bestadvised to steer clear of it, if you can. Ifyou continue to do your job well, you’relikely to receive a bonus or promotion asa result of your efforts. You've earned it.

Leo July 23 August 22It's hard to deny the power of a chemicalreaction to another person. You’ll likelymeet someone today or perhaps you'vejust met someone who has a strong influence on you, Leo. You can’t get this personout of your mind. It isn’t clear whether thisis a onetime fling or a longterm romance.Whatever it turns out to be, you’re thrilledto be feeling so excited and alive.

“The person who dies with the most toyswins” may well be your philosophy, Virgo.And today you certainly move ahead inthe race as you add yet another technological wonder to your home. What is itthis time? A scanner, digital camera, DVDplayer, or all of the above? It's a smallindulgence for all the hard work you do. Ifthese things really give you such pleasure, then you deserve to have them.

Libra September 23 October 22Today you could sit down at the computerfor just a minute to research somethingon the Internet and wind up spendingmost of the afternoon entranced by whatyou're reading, Libra. You could very wellstumble upon some information on theoccult and mysticism. It’s always fascinated you, and now that you've begunlearning, you don't want to stop.

Scorpio October 23 November 21You’ve always had a knack for all thingsfinancial, Scorpio, but today your ability isespecially enhanced. You’ve discovered allthe free investing information available overthe Internet, and you absorb it like a sponge.Your natural fiscal sense enables you to separate the nonsense from the sound investment advice. Your portfolio and your moodbenefit immediately!

Sagittarius November 22 December 21Keep your eyes wide open today,Sagittarius, as you may meet the person ofyour dreams! Or you could stumble, literally,upon a stack of cash. It’s likely to be a mostunusual day, so keep your wits about youand your mind open to all possibilities. If anintriguing new business opportunity comesyour way, don't accept it right immediately.Take down all the information and review itwhen life has settled down somewhat.

Capricorn December 22 January 19A change of profession may be in the starsfor you, Capricorn, or a change of hobby atthe very least. The latest technologicaladvances have really captured your interest. Making films, in particular, gets yourcreative juices flowing. Perhaps it's time tosign up for a weekend workshop or splurgeon that video camera you've been eyeing.The diversion will do you a world of good.

Aquarius January 20 February 18You’re likely to be feeling the tug of distantlands, Aquarius. Today you could stop atthe travel agent’s office, the one you'vewalked by countless times, and stare at thepictures. Thailand, Hong Kong, and NewZealand are just a few of the places you'dlike to see. The pictures look so enticing.Go ahead. Plan such a trip, although it’slikely to be only a temporary diversion.

Pisces February 19 March 20Change, even when it's for the better, cansometimes be a little scary, Pisces. Youcould feel some hesitation about taking anew job or upgrading your home.Nevertheless, you’re being given a terrificopportunity. If you don't seize it, you’ll likely regret it for the rest of your life. What'soccurring is for the best, so stretch yourarms up high and reach for that brass ring!

Virgo August 23 September 22


Richard moved to Spain seven years ago having left his management background behind inthe UK and decided to use his IT skills to helphome users and small businesses with their PCproblems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he isout and about in the Spanish sun every day,making house and shop calls and using hisvast experience and qualifications to (usually)sort out the problem there and then. Computersare his hobby as well as his work so don’t besurprised to get an answer to your email in theearly hours!

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computerservices at realistic prices and specialise in working with

home users and small businesses.

[email protected] www.bluemoonsolutions.es

Mobile: 655 044 970 Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow meon twitter @bluemoonspainAlternately why don’t you signup for my newsletter. You cando this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.esand fill in the form that is onany page except the frontpage.

RICHARD CAVENDERBluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

ADVICE: Bill wanted to know why his .mp3 files wouldn’tplay on his car CD player.

Hi Richard. I recently purchased a language program from America I was informedI could download it into a format that could be played on any CD or car CD playerthe problem I have is I have downloaded it to MP3 format and while it plays on mylaptop it will not play on my car or home CD player HELP REQUIRED PLEASE. Bill.

Hi Bill, conventional CD players require their files to be in .wav format, not .mp3 –this is why you are having problems. You can either replace your car CD player witha newer version which will almost certainly play .mp3 files or you can convert yourmusic from .mp3 to .wav – this is pretty simple by using freely available software

from the Internet.www.zamzar.com is one site that will convert files from pretty much any format to any otherformat, there are many other sites out there, have a quick Google to find them.You will also find that when you convert your files, they grow in size as .mp3 files are verycompressed, so you will be able to fit less music on your CD’s

ADVICE: Sue wanted to know how to set a Windows pass-word for her computer

Hi after having problems with my laptop(Compaq PresarioCQ57) following its

use by a friend, I ended uphaving Windows 7 reinstalled.Now I don't have to log in toWindows to access the internet and feel a bit insecurewithout the login. Any advicewould be more than welcome.

Hi Sue, ok, so it’s aWindows login thatyou are talking about(it’s not related to the

Internet, just your computer),if you want to add a Windows password, just press CTRL and ALT and DELETE down at thesame time and choose “Set Password”

Q

A

ADVICE: Ken received some suspicious phone calls fromsomeone purporting to be from Microsoft

Hi Richard,two weeksago we hadour Hotmail

account hacked in to.About eighty variousbogus emails weresent to our contactsbut as far as we knowno damage has beendone. The hackingwas reported toMicrosoft by a friendas soon as hereceived his bogusemail. Microsoftinstructed us to change our password immediately which we did and so far we have had nofurther problems with our account. However, today we have received three phone calls froma company purporting to be working in conjunction with Microsoft stating that there are a number of problems with our computer and wanting us to run through a series of instructions fromthem over the phone to correct these problems. Obviously, we were suspicious that this wasa scam and did not comply. When we received the third call we told them we would inform thepolice if they continued calling. Hopefully, that will be the end of it but perhaps you could warnothers through your weekly column in the Courier. Thanks. Ken

Hi Ken, yep, they seem to be doing the rounds again, I have had 2 phone calls fromcustomers just today asking me whether this is a scam or not – yes it is, pleasedon’t let them get access to your computer.We covered this scam a few months ago, to read the full article, go to

www.bluemoonsolutions.es/theweremicrosoftscam

Q Q

AA

A supercar has becomethe world's fastest production model after reaching atop speed of 270mph.

American firm Hennesseyhas claimed for some timethat its Venom GT is thefastest thing on four wheels.

But until now the firm hadn't been able to attemptbeating the Bugatti VeyronSuper Sport's recordbreaking 269mph because it wason VW's private test track.

However, it emergedtoday that the Texan manufacturer was given access toNasa's space shuttle landing runway in Florida for aoneoff blitz in the 1,200bhpmachine.

The Venom GT managedto reach 270.49mph compared to the average topspeed of 200mph in aFormula 1 car.

The speed makes it slightly quicker than the269.86mph achieved byBugatti in 2010.

The record was revealedto TopGear.com, with testpilot Brian Smith telling the

website that the car wascapable of going evenfaster.

He said: 'At the very topend, there was a little wandering, but hey, we're going270mph.

'It was still pulling. If wecould run on an eightmileoval, we could go faster thanthat.'

Smith claims he could getanother 510mph out of theVenom GT, but the runwayin Florida was just 3.22miles long.

Bugatti, meanwhile, canmake use of Volkswagen'sEhraLessien test trackwhich has a straight of 5.5miles.

Despite the jawdropping

top speed which is almostfour times the UK motorwayand three times the highestUS highway speed limit theVenom GT won't be enteringnext year's Guinness WorldRecord book.

They only took the car onone run, and for a record tostand, the driver must perform two runs.

Nasa would only allow theone run so, for now, theVeyron Super Sport retains

the official top spot. The £800,000 Hennessey

Venom GT is powered by atwinturbocharged, 7litre V8engine which develops awhopping 1,244bhp.

This gives it a 062mphtime of just 2.7 seconds. InFlorida, it went from 20mphto 120mph in 7.71 seconds.

Since its launch in 2011, ithas been praised by themotoring press while SteveTyler, from Aerosmith, is

among the 11 people to takedelivery so far.

Romans International, thehigh end sports car dealership in Surrey, sold the UK'sonly Venom GT last year.VENOM GT: THEVITAL STATISTICSThe £800,000 HennesseyVenom GT is powered by atwinturbocharged, 7litreV8 engine which developsa whopping 1,244bhp.This gives it a 062mphtime of just 2.7 seconds.In Florida, it went from20mph to 120mph in 7.71seconds.Since its launch in 2011, ithas been praised by themotoring press whileSteve Tyler, fromAerosmith, is among the11 people to take deliveryso far. The car reached270.49mph making itslightly quicker than the269.86 achieved byBugatti in 2010.Pilot Brian Smith claimshe could have got another510mph out of the car,but the runway in Floridawas just 3.22 miles long.


Now THAT'S top gear

WORLD'STOP TENFASTEST

CARS1. Hennessey Venom GT:270 mph (434 km/h)2. Bugatti Veyron SuperSport: 269 mph (431 km/h)3. Koenigsegg Agera R:260 mph (418 km/h)4. SSC Ultimate Aero: 257mph (413 km/h) and the 9ffGT9R: 257 mph (413 km/h)5. Saleen S7 TwinTurbo:248 mph (399 km/h)6. Koenigsegg CCX: 245mph (394 km/h)7. McLaren F1: 240 mph(386 km/h)8. Zenvo ST1: 233 mph(374 km/h),9. Pagani Huayra: 230 mph(370 km/h)10.Gumpert Apollo andNoble M600: both at 225mph (362 km/h)


Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues;instead, every letter of the alphabet has beenreplaced by a number, the same number representingthe same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have todo is decide which letter is represented by whichnumber. In this week’s puzzle, 3 represents G and 17represents F, when these letters have been enteredthroughout the puzzle, you should have enoughinformation to start guessing words and discoveringother letters.

CODE CRACKER

CRYTPIC CLUESAcross1 Sell loveinamist (4)4 Seaside performer is agreat hit (5)9 Enduring the French bite(7)10 A vet's engineered amatch (5)11 Could break cover (5)12 Quite handsome, but ina hurry (7)13 Rewrote resort schedule (6)15 Underpants for dogs (6)19 Coach scruffy cheater(7)21 Latest propaganda contains the name of the infidel (5)23 Filling decoration (5)24 Ship's cooking pot (7)25 Alcoholic drinks damaged sinew (5)26 Shake hands and admitfalse alarm (4)

Down2 Catch the girl with nothing on (5)3 The key to the puzzle is acooking utensil (7)4 Temple where father isfilled with a divine spirit (6)5 One visitor takes in WestIndian island (5)6 Posh ice mixture fornursing home (7)7 More polished withoutKay using breadknife (6)8 Prohibition? Gee, a blow!(4)14 Devour a small bird (7)16 Classical musiciancomposing her opus (7)17 Dispatched with railwayguard (6)18 Snatches some shortbreaks after the start ofwork (6)19 Grind? Put right finallywith lubrication (4)20 Composer tryin' to beinvisible, we hear (5)22 Greek letter aboutmagma (5)

Last weeks SolutionAcross: 1 Hifi, 3 Dripfeed, 9 Go ahead, 10 Rouen, 11 Bleak,12 Austin, 14 Oblong, 16 Meagre, 19 Formal, 21 Dubai, 24Ovoid, 25 Verbose, 26 Settlers, 27 Smut. Down: 1 Highbrow, 2 Flame, 4 Red rag, 5 Pores, 6 Eluding,7 Deny, 8 Reckon, 13 Regiment, 15 Lookout, 17 Elders, 18Sliver, 20 Model, 22 Bloom, 23 Nods.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORDSolve the Double CrossWord puzzle using either the

standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

FILL IT INComplete the crossword grid by using the given words:

Across1 Of sound mind (4)3 Virtuoso (6)7 See 2 Down9 Command (5)10 Change (5)11 Sediment (5)12 Offspring (5)14 Run away (5)15 Balanced (6)16 Confusions (33)19 Freshwater fish (5)22 Short, highpitched sound(5)23 Excuse (5)24 Widespread praise (5)25 Spicy dish (5)27/26 Hide out (3,3)

28 Small sofa (6)29 Branch (4)Down1 Tales (7)2/7A Fall asleep (3,3)4 Obliterate (5)5 Put forward (9)6 Wait on (5)7 Severe trial (6)8 Give food to (4)13 Whipping boy (9)17 Drink (6)18 Young tree (7)19 Fake (5)20 Perhaps (5)21 Invoice (4)26 See 27 Across

QUICKIE

Last weeks SolutionAcross: 1 Traps, 4 Count, 8 Loose ends, 9 Run, 10 Ewer,11 Useless, 12/16 Far cry, 13 Fake, 15 Data, 18 Service,19 Barn, 22 Tea, 23 Intricate, 24 Siege, 25 Links. Down: 1 Taller, 2 Adore, 3 Seek, 4 Concur, 5 Unsteady,6 Torment, 7 Ends, 12 Feminine, 14 Arrears, 16Centre, 17 Unless, 18 Sett, 20 Again, 21 Bill.

Across1 Ribbon (5)4 Semillas (5)7 Farmer (8)8 Equipo (deporte) (4)9 Apron (garment) (8)11 Kiss (4)12 Stain (mark) (6)14 Bastante (6)16 Bears (animals) (4)18 Tablet (medicine) (8)20 Box (4)21 Options (8)23 Asientos (muebles)(5)24 To weigh (person,apples) (5)

Down1 Plum (fruit) (7)2 Never (not ever) (5)3 Bird (large) (3)4 Hombros (9)5 Cowshed (7)6 Cisnes (aves) (5)10 Cucharillas (9)13 Chestnut (fruit) (7)15 To strike (hit) (7)17 Jabones (5)19 Planchas (utensilios)(5)22 Copa (trofeo, competición) (3)

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORDImprove your Spanish clues in Spanish, answers inEnglish or vice versa.

STANDARD CLUESAcross 1 Beat with a whip (4)4 Strike with the fist (5)9 Existing for a long time (7)10 Goddess of the hearth(5)11 Cirrus or cumulus (5)12 Lively and spirited (7)13 List of employees (6)15 Underpants worn bymen (6)19 Educator (7)21 Heathen (5)23 Decorative work (5)24 Cooking utensil (7)25 Alcoholic drinks (5)26 Close hermetically (4)

Down 2 Lariat (5)3 Pancake maker (7)4 Asian temple (6)5 One of the LeewardIslands (5)6 Healthcare facility (7)7 Machine for cutting (6)8 Strike violently (4)14 Devour (7)16 Mythical Greek musicianand poet (7)17 Gate attendant (6)18 Obtain by seizingforcibly (6)19 Work hard (4)20 Austrian composer (5)22 Greek letter (5)

Scribble Pad

2 letterwords

AsHiUpUs

3 letterwords

ActAleAllAntAreArtBraCanCarEndEraGetKin

LoyNaeOftOneOrePenPlyProRanSapSexSobTorTut

WanWasYew

4 letterwordsAgesAlly

AloeAreaBangBonyConeCoreDaceDiscElanFreeKepiLashLastLispLureManeMareOopsParaRateRend

SageSearSoldSoleSoreSortStepSudsTaxiTentYeti

5 letterwordsBonesCreptDecoyHasteInaneMinorNasalOrate

SalesSauceSpragStrew

6 letterwordsAbsurdClassyHarassMantraPanderSettee

7 letterwordsCollateSeaside8 letterwordsEnteringSupinate


divertirse

el desfile

el disfraz

el payaso

el sombrero

la carroza

la fiesta

la mascara

la música

las banderas

las piratas

las plumas

los bailes

los indios

los puestos

Empareja estas palabras Match the Spanish and English wordsYou will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.divertirse, 2.el desfile,

3.el disfraz, 4.el payaso,

5.el sombrero, 6.la carroza,

7.la fiesta, 8.la mascara,

9.la música, 10.las banderas,

11.las piratas, 12.las plumas,

13.los bailes, 14.los indios,

15.los puestos

a.the dances, b.the costume,

c.the hat, d.the pirates,

e.the indians, f.the feathers,

g.the stalls,

h.to have a good time,

i.the mask, j.the clown,

k.the parade, l.the float,

m.the party, n.the flags,

o.the parade, p.the music,

Answers:1h, 2o, 3b, 4j, 5c, 6l, 7m, 8i, 9p,10n, 11d, 12f, 13a, 14e, 15g.

Across1 Light sweet yeast

raised roll usually filled withfruits or cheese (6,6)

9 Athletic event associated with Steve Backley,Fatima Whitbread andTessa Sanderson (7)

10 Needlessly timeconsuming procedure (3,4)

11 Suspension bridgeacross New York harbourbetween Brooklyn andStaten Island, the longest inthe world when it was completed in 1964. (9)

12 Last letter of theGreek alphabet (5)

13 Presiding officer in alegislative assembly, especially the House ofCommons (7)

15 Performer whose actinvolves being the butt of acomedian’s jokes (6)

18 English comedian,novelist and actor, bestknown for her roles in

Grumpy Old Womenbetween 2004 and 2007and in Loose Women in2011 and 2012, Jenny (6)

20 Children’s toy consisting of a set of metal andplastic components formaking mechanical models(7)

24 Jewelled headdressworn by women on formaloccasions (5)

25 Completely controlledby an evil spirit (9)

27 Outline of something,especially a person’s face,as seen from one side (7)

28 Port in northernFrance, on the EnglishChannel at the mouth of theSeine (2,5)

29 One of the original 13states of the Union in 1787,whose capital is Harrisburg(12)

Down1 Feeling of having

already experienced thepresent situation, from

French for ‘already seen’(4,2)

2 Popular song recordedby Johnny Mathis, Cliff

Richard and DonnyOsmond: The Twelfth of (5)

3 Pale yellow seedlessgrape used for raisins andwine (7)

4 Thin, flat patties of batter, fried on both sides in apan and typically rolled upwith a sweet or savoury filling (8)

5 Talk on a religious ormoral subject, especiallyone given during a churchservice and based on apassage from the Bible (6)

6 Organiser and entertainer at a Butlin’s holidaycamp (7)

7 Legislative capital ofSouth Africa (4,4)

8 Small croquette ofmashed chick peas or favabeans seasoned withsesame seeds (7)

14 Design consisting of apattern of regularly spaced

circular spots (5,3)16 The secret state

police in Nazi Germany (7)17 Adjective meaning

devious misleading orsneaky (8)

19 Second album byJohn Lennon, recorded andreleased in 1971 (7)

21 Surname of Russiandramatist and shortstorywriter whose works include:The Seagull, Uncle Vanya,The Three Sisters and TheCherry Orchard (7)

22 Abdominal organinvolved in the productionand removal of blood cellsin most vertebrates andforming part of the immunesystem (6)

23 Accessory or adjoining anatomical parts orappendages to an organ,especially of the embryo (6)

26 Number of players ina netball team (5)

Quiz Word

Last weeks Quiz Word SolutionAcross: 1 Antimacassar, 10 Acronym, 11 Groucho, 12Chafe, 13 Cold Feet, 15 Chardonnay, 16 Tsar, 18 Rick, 20New Orleans, 22 Odometer, 24 Ultra, 26 Amphora, 27Midwest, 28 Raise the roof. Down: 2 Nirvana, 3 Innuendo, 4 Alms, 5 AngloSaxon, 6Snood, 7 Rickets, 8 Lance corporal, 9 Poste restante, 14Inveterate, 17 Flounder, 19 Chopper, 21 Art deco, 23 Ecoli, 25 Amah.

SUDOKU (Medium) SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

Last Week’s Solutions

Code Cracker

Soduko Span Eng Quizword Fill It In

1. In Which Year Did Micheal Jackson Top The ChartsWith The Song 'Black Or White'?2. Name Black Sabbath's Debut Hit?3. Name Dan Hartman's first hit?4. Easter, Easter, Easter, Easter Which Group Am I?5. What Was The Name Of Del aAmitri's Hit Album A)Waking Hours, B) Speak & Spell C) AnytimeAnywhere?6. Who was asked in 1874 by Henrik Ibsen to write incidental music to Peer Gynf?7. Who Wrote And Had A Hit With 'Love Is All Around' In1967?8. What is Milan's opera house called?9. From the 1970's which song and artist ', You lay yourbets and then you pay the price''?10. Dionne Warwicks Cousin Is A Famous VocalistName Her?11. Who thought up the name 'Beatles'?12. Who Found Chart Success With 'Rock My Heart'?13. What Was The Only No.1 Single For The Monkees?14. Rattle And Hum' Was A Hit Album For WhichGroup?

ANSEWRS:1. 1991 2. Paranoid 3. Instant Replay 4. EchoAnd The Bunnymen 5. A) Waking Hours 6. Edvard Grieg7. Reg Presley Of The Troggs 8. La Scala 9. 10CC / ThingsWe Do For Love 10. Whitney Houston 11. Stu Sutcliffe 12.Haddaway 13. I'm A Believer 14. U2

music QUIZ

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

El Carnaval

00:35 This Week01:20 Skiing Weatherview01:25 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Operation Hospital Food11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Countryside 99912:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 Regional News and Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 James Martin: HomeComforts17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 BBC London News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 BBC News; Regional News20:30 A Question of Sport21:00 EastEnders21:30 Room 10122:00 Jonathan Creek23:00 BBC News23:25 National Lottery Update23:25 Regional News and Weather23:35 The Graham Norton Show

00:20 The Restaurant Man01:20 Panorama01:50 This World02:50 This Is BBC Two05:00 Schools

07:00 This Is BBC Two07:10 Homes Under the Hammer08:10 Countryside 99908:55 Caught Red Handed09:25 Paul Hollywood's Pies &Puds10:10 The Great Interior DesignChallenge11:10 The Travel Show11:35 The Travel Show12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Instant Restaurant14:45 Andrew Marr's The Making ofModern Britain15:45 Cagney & Lacey16:30 Bergerac17:20 Are You Being Served?17:50 'Allo 'Allo!18:15 Antiques Roadshow19:00 Revenge of the Egghead19:30 Great Continental RailwayJourneys20:00 The Planners21:00 Mastermind21:30 Coming Home22:00 The Pity of War23:30 Newsnight

00:45 The Cube01:40 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:45 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Daybreak09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Tipping Point18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 Student Nurses: Bedpansand Bandages21:30 Coronation Street22:00 Edge of Heaven23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV News Meridian23:35 The Americans

00:05 24 Hours in A&E01:10 One Born Every Minute02:05 Random Acts02:10 First Dates03:05 Scandimania04:00 Food Unwrapped04:30 Location, Location, Location05:30 Dispatches06:00 Deal or No Deal06:55 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard07:20 Countdown08:05 Will & Grace08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond10:30 Frasier12:00 The Big Bang Theory13:00 Channel 4 News13:05 Four in a Bed15:40 Countdown16:30 Deal or No Deal17:30 Come Dine with Me18:00 Coach Trip18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdownto Crufts19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News20:55 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown21:00 Grand Designs22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown23:00 The Last Leg23:50 Jimmy Carr: Making PeopleLaugh

JONATHANCREEK

New series. Alan Davies returns as the master illusionist, who has retired from crimesolving to jointhe corporate world with wife Polly. However, he issoon tempted back to help investigate a seeminglyimpossible attack on a West End actress and he'snot alone, as a criminology student tags along fora spot of `work experience'. At the same time, apersonal tragedy for Jonathan and Polly uncoversa series of dark and disturbing secrets.

The Courier Friday TV February 28

00:00 Extraordinary People00:55 Access01:00 SuperCasino04:05 Big, Bigger, Biggest05:00 House Doctor05:45 Great Artists06:10 Wildlife SOS07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Olly the Little White Van07:55 Milkshake! Monkey08:00 Little Princess08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Benidorm ER14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:20 NCIS16:20 Black Friday18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 NewsTalk Live20:00 The Gadget Show21:00 Ice Road Truckers22:00 Soho Blues23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles


TRELI ON THE TELLY

and Camille Coduri did theseries purely for the money,and everybody that is associated with this tripe should behanging their heads inshame.

qIn complete contrast, Iwas in need of copious

amounts of water, whilst taking in the dry Louisiana air onthe debut of acclaimed USdrama, True Detective onSky Atlantic. MatthewMcConaughey and WoodyHarrelson give us an actingmaster class in a smouldering tale of an investigation

me cringe and guffaw at whyanybody can have watchedsomething as awful as this inthe first place. Fast forwardto today, and as two goodexamples, we have excellentshows like Pointless and TheChase which are entertainingand devoid of patronisingclaptrap, along with presenters Alexander Armstrongand Bradley Walsh who arecompletely natural andunscripted. So please don’ttrundle out the old line of howmuch better TV was in theold days, because it largelywasn’t!

qWell done to old XFactor favourite and

Murcia lady, Ruth Lorenzo for

winning Spain’s nod to represent the country in May’sEurovision Song Contest inCopenhagen. I’m not convinced about the song butRuth can certainly sing,which was clearly the view ofthe BBC last autumn, whooffered her the UK slot, whichshe turned down in favour ofgambling on winning theSpanish selection contestagainst four rivals.Meanwhile back at the UKranch, all of us Brits have tocontend with are somedreadful rumours that theawful Geri Halliwell is in theframe to carry the torch offailure this spring. Words failme!

Friday night drama on ITVthese days means rubbishand when a new show istrundled out in the midevening slot at the end ofthe week, you sadly knowthat a fresh turkey is clucking.

The channel hasn’t failedto disappoint with Edge ofHeaven set in an eightiesthemed guesthouse inMargate: I’m not makingthis up! It’s like a poor version of Benidorm (that’s saying something these days),with jokes that I would havewritten on a bad day for myschool stage shows in theseventies. I can only presume that good comedy performers like Blake Harrison

into a ritualistic killer.McConaughey’s cop character is just plain weird, andeven stranger when we seehim some 18 years later, asthe story plays in flashback.Just watch and really enjoy,though there were a numberof occasions I had to “windback” because the southernaccents took a fair bit of picking up!

qThe mists of time canoften make us fond of

old tv shows that were reallypoor, but occasionally thosemists don’t cloud any early

judgements about somethingthat was rubbish in the firstplace. Last weekend, havingnothing better to do, I startedsurfing around the hundredsof channels that I can pick up(98% of which I’ve neverwatched) and I stumbledacross the game show channel Challenge which wasshowcasing some “classic”repeats dating back over 30years. One of those programmes was the nauseating 321, which beyond anyreason of sane human comprehension was a massiveSaturday night for ITV fornearly a decade. Besideslaughing at the dreadful production values of a late seventies edition that had beendusted off the shelves for arare airing, I had my initialviews confirmed that this wassimply an appalling programme. Ironically, it was acopy of a popular Spanish TVformat, but the dreadfullyacted sketches; scripted adlibs; and the incomprehensible cryptic clues, along withthe awful Dusty Bin and thesickly host, Ted Rogers made

with ALEX TRELINSKI

EDGE OF DESPAIR

01:35 Lady Caroline Lamb

03:35 This Is BBC Two

07:00 This Is BBC Two

07:10 School for Scoundrels

08:40 Monty Don's Italian Gardens

09:40 Countryfile

10:40 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

12:10 James Martin: Home

Comforts

12:55 Michel Roux's Service

13:55 Michel Roux's Service

14:55 Vertigo

17:00 Cycling

18:35 Natural World

19:20 Invincible

21:00 Top Gear

22:00 Dragons' Den

23:00 Mock the Week Looks Back

23:30 Line of Duty

01:35 Jackpot24704:00 In Plain Sight04:45 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Dino Dan07:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles07:45 Canimals08:10 Om Nom Stories08:20 Sooty08:30 Scrambled!10:25 Murder, She Wrote11:25 Dickinson's Real Deal12:25 ITV News and Weather12:29 ITV Meridian Weather12:30 River Monsters13:30 Columbo: Death Hits theJackpot15:30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries16:30 Diamonds Are Forever18:50 ITV Meridian Weather18:50 ITV News Meridian19:00 ITV News and Weather19:15 Dancing on Ice20:45 All Star Family Fortunes21:30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off22:00 Mr Selfridge23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:14 ITV Meridian Weather23:15 It'll Be Alright on the Night

01:15 A History of Violence03:00 Boss04:05 Mesh04:10 One Born Every Minute05:05 Kirstie's Handmade Treasures05:10 Hollyoaks07:20 The Hoobs07:45 The Hoobs08:10 Freesports on 408:35 Arenacross09:00 FIM Superbike WorldChampionship09:35 Sochi Special: ParalympicWinter Games10:05 Frasier10:30 Sunday Brunch13:35 The Big Bang Theory14:00 The Big Bang Theory14:30 How I Met Your Mother15:00 How I Met Your Mother15:25 The Simpsons15:55 The Simpsons16:20 Deal or No Deal17:25 Grease19:30 Channel 4 News20:00 Hugh's Fish Fight21:00 Time Team22:00 Salt

00:10 Pistol Whipped02:05 SuperCasino04:05 Benidorm ER05:00 Wildlife SOS05:25 Make It Big05:50 The Funky Valley Show06:00 Angels of Jarm06:05 Hana's Helpline06:20 Angels of Jarm06:25 The Funky Valley Show06:40 Hana's Helpline06:50 Hana's Helpline07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots07:25 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:50 Chloe's Closet08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas08:25 Make Way for Noddy08:35 City of Friends08:45 Toby's Travelling Circus08:55 Little Princess09:10 The Adventures of Bottle TopBill and His Best Friend Corky09:25 Angelina Ballerina09:35 Mio Mao09:45 Rupert Bear10:00 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:15 Jelly Jamm10:30 LazyTown11:00 Power Rangers SuperSamurai11:35 Power Rangers Megaforce12:05 Access12:10 World's12:50 The Hotel Inspector13:50 Ice Road Truckers14:50 Police Interceptors15:50 Beetle Juice17:40 Zathura: a Space Adventure19:35 The Fifth Element21:55 5 News Weekend22:00 Erin Brockovich

00:45 The Football League Show

02:05 Weatherview

02:10 BBC News

07:00 Breakfast

08:40 Match of the Day

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

11:00 The Big Questions

12:00 Sunday Politics

13:15 MOTD2 Extra

14:00 BBC News

14:10 Weather for the Week Ahead

14:15 Bargain Hunt

15:15 The Indian Doctor

16:00 Flog It!

16:25 Escape to the Country

17:10 Deadly 60 on a Mission

17:40 Songs of Praise

18:15 Pointless Celebrities

19:05 BBC News; Regional News

and Weather

19:30 Blandings

20:00 Countryfile

21:00 Call the Midwife

22:00 The Musketeers

23:00 BBC News; Regional News

and Weather

23:25 Match of the Day 2

HUGH'S FISHFIGHT

Three years ago, Hugh FearnleyWhittingstalllaunched a campaign to highlight the problems facing the global fishing industry. This followup documentary tells the story of how hundreds of thousands of people came together to bring about radical reforms to fishing policies.

07:00 This Is BBC Two07:15 Jules Verne's Rocket to theMoon09:10 Life on Earth10:05 Life on Earth11:00 Andrew Marr's The Making ofModern Britain12:00 Fred Dibnah's Made in Britain12:30 Great British Railway Journeys13:00 James Martin: Home Comforts13:30 Talking Pictures14:10 The Lady Vanishes15:45 Final Score17:00 Coast17:15 Natural World18:15 Restoration Home One Year On19:15 Flog It!20:15 Dad's Army20:45 The Morecambe and WiseShow21:15 Darcey's Ballerina Heroines22:15 QI XL23:00 Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle23:30 The Producers

00:35 The Chase01:30 Jackpot24704:00 Hearts in Atlantis05:40 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Dino Dan07:25 Matt Hatter Chronicles07:45 Canimals08:10 Om Nom Stories08:20 Sooty08:30 Scrambled!10:25 Dinner Date11:20 Murder, She Wrote12:15 ITV News and Weather12:24 ITV Meridian Weather12:25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries12:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA13:45 The Unforgettable14:15 Midsomer Murders16:15 Tea with Mussolini18:35 ITV Meridian Weather18:45 ITV News and Weather19:00 You've Been Framed!20:00 Ant & Dec's Saturday NightTakeaway21:20 The Cube22:20 The Jonathan Ross Show23:20 ITV News and Weather23:34 ITV Meridian Weather23:35 Fast & Furious

00:55 Brooklyn NineNine01:20 Borat: Cultural Learnings ofAmerica for Make Benefit GloriousNation of Kazakhstan02:45 Random Acts02:50 The Simpsons03:35 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown03:40 Happy Endings04:25 Franklin & Bash05:05 Location, Location, Location06:00 SuperScrimpers06:15 Deal or No Deal07:10 The Hoobs07:35 The Grid08:00 Trans World Sport08:55 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown09:00 The Morning Line10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond11:00 Frasier11:30 The Big Bang Theory12:30 How I Met Your Mother13:30 The Simpsons14:30 Channel 4 Racing17:10 Come Dine with Me19:40 Channel 4 News20:05 The Restoration Man21:00 The Storms That StoleChristmas22:00 Hostages23:00 The Lincoln Lawyer

00:00 CSI: NY00:55 Access01:00 SuperCasino04:10 Can't Pay? We'll Take ItAway!05:00 House Doctor05:45 Great Artists06:10 Wildlife SOS07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots07:25 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:50 Chloe's Closet08:00 Roobarb and Custard Too08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas08:25 Make Way for Noddy08:35 City of Friends08:45 Milkshake! Bop Box08:50 Little Princess09:00 The Adventures of Bottle TopBill and His Best Friend Corky09:20 Angelina Ballerina09:30 Milkshake! Monkey09:40 Rupert Bear09:55 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:10 Jelly Jamm10:25 LazyTown10:55 Jetsons: the Movie12:25 Stuart Little 3: Call of theWild13:55 Getting Even with Dad16:00 Columbo: Playback17:35 Columbo: Candidate forCrime19:30 NCIS22:05 5 News Weekend22:10 Live International Boxing

00:25 Pound Shop Wars00:55 EastEnders02:50 Weatherview02:55 BBC News07:00 Breakfast11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live12:30 James Martin: HomeComforts13:00 Football Focus13:45 Sportsday14:00 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather14:15 Cycling15:45 Bargain Hunt16:30 Escape to the Country17:00 Final Score18:10 Reflex18:55 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather19:15 Pointless Celebrities20:00 The Voice UK22:10 The National Lottery Live22:20 Casualty23:10 BBC News; Weather23:30 Match of the Day

00:05 One Flew over the Cuckoo'sNest02:15 Question Time03:15 Hidden Kingdoms04:15 This Is BBC Two

STEWART LEE'SCOMEDY VEHICLENew series. The return of the Baftawinning show inwhich Stewart Lee explores different themes instandup routines filmed at the Mildmay Club inStoke Newington, north London. The performancesare interspersed with clips of script editor ChrisMorris grilling the comedian about his ideas, andeach episode ends with a short film.

The Courier Saturday TV

The Courier Sunday TV March 2

March 1

39

40

00:30 The League Cup Show01:10 Weatherview01:15 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Heir Hunters11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Countryside 99912:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 Regional News and Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 James Martin: HomeComforts17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 BBC London News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 Inside Out21:00 EastEnders21:30 Panorama22:00 Silk23:00 BBC News23:25 Regional News and Weather23:35 Have I Got Old News for You

00:30 The Mission02:30 Countryfile03:25 Holby City04:25 Silk05:25 This Is BBC Two

07:00 This Is BBC Two07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Countryside 99908:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Helicopter Heroes10:05 The Restaurant Man11:05 Great British RailwayJourneys11:35 Click12:00 BBC News12:30 Mandela Remembered fromWestminster Abbey14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening14:15 War Walks14:45 Cycling15:45 Cagney & Lacey16:30 Bergerac17:20 Are You Being Served?17:50 'Allo 'Allo!18:15 Antiques Roadshow19:00 Revenge of the Egghead19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog20:00 Top Gear21:00 University Challenge21:30 Mary Berry Cooks22:00 Mind the Gap: London vs theRest23:00 The Culture Show23:30 Weather

00:15 Premiership Rugby Union01:15 The Store03:15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:45 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Daybreak09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Tipping Point18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 I Never Knew That AboutBritain21:30 Coronation Street22:00 DCI Banks23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:35 The Agenda

00:45 The Fog02:35 SuperCasino04:05 Trauma Doctors05:00 Wildlife SOS05:25 Make It Big05:45 The Funky Valley Show06:00 Angels of Jarm06:05 Hana's Helpline06:20 Angels of Jarm06:25 The Funky Valley Show06:40 Hana's Helpline07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Olly the Little White Van07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box08:00 Little Princess08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 The Hotel Inspector14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Lethal Obsession18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 NewsTalk Live20:00 The Gadget Show21:00 Police Interceptors22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take ItAway!23:00 Criminals: Caught onCamera

00:00 Predator02:00 The Fountain03:35 One Born Every Minute04:30 Supernanny US05:15 Location, Location, Location06:10 Kirstie's Vintage Gems06:25 Deal or No Deal07:20 Countdown08:05 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown08:10 Will & Grace08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond10:25 Frasier12:00 The Big Bang Theory13:00 Channel 4 News Midday13:05 Four in a Bed15:40 Countdown16:30 Deal or No Deal17:30 Come Dine with Me18:00 Coach Trip18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdownto Crufts19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News20:55 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown21:00 Dispatches21:30 Food Unwrapped22:00 One Born Every Minute23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats23:50 Troy

I NEVER KNEWTHAT ABOUT

BRITAINNew series. Documentary inspired by ChristopherWinn's bestselling books, exploring Britain's richand surprising history. Presenter Paul Martin, historian Suzannah Lipscomb and scientist SteveMould unearth eccentric characters and fascinatingstories of the past as they celebrate some of thegreatest technological, artistic, scientific and political achievements of the nation's people.

The Courier Tuesday TV

The Courier Monday TVMarch 3

March 4

00:20 Late Kick Off00:50 The Graham Norton Show01:35 Weatherview01:40 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Heir Hunters11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Countryside 99912:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 Regional News and Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 James Martin: Home Comforts17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 BBC London News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 BBC News; Regional News20:30 EastEnders21:00 Holby City22:00 Death in Paradise23:00 BBC News23:25 Regional News and Weather23:25 National Lottery Update23:35 Traffic Cops

00:20 Mandela Remembered fromWestminster Abbey01:20 Dragons' Den02:20 Film 201402:50 The Culture Show03:20 This Is BBC Two05:00 Schools Human Planet:Change and Sustainability KS306:00 Schools The Science ofHarvest

06:30 The Great British Year06:55 Wonders of Nature: Birds ofParadise07:00 This Is BBC Two07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Countryside 99908:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Helicopter Heroes10:05 Great British Garden Revival11:05 Great British RailwayJourneys11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening14:10 War Walks14:40 The First Eden15:40 Cagney & Lacey16:25 Bergerac17:15 Are You Being Served?17:45 'Allo 'Allo!18:15 Antiques Roadshow19:00 Revenge of the Egghead19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog20:00 The Planners21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee22:00 An Hour to Save Your Life23:00 The Sarah Millican TelevisionProgramme23:30 Newsnight

AN HOUR TOSAVE YOUR LIFE

Documentary exploring the lifeordeath decisionsfacing doctors in the first critical hour of emergency care, following the stories of three patientsfrom the moment the 999 call is made. In the firstepisode, medics fight to save the lives of a womanwho collapsed on London's Oxford Street; a manknocked over by a car and an elderly farmercrushed by a cow.

00:05 The Secret Mediterraneanwith Trevor McDonald01:05 Jackpot24704:00 Champions League Weekly04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA05:10 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Daybreak09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Tipping Point18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale21:00 Midsomer Murders23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV News Meridian23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:35 The Jonathan Ross Show

00:50 Strippers01:45 Random Acts01:50 Scandal02:35 Hostages03:25 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown03:30 The Good Wife04:20 One Born Every Minute05:15 Location, Location, Location06:10 Kirstie's Vintage Gems06:25 Deal or No Deal07:20 Countdown08:05 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown08:10 Will & Grace09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:30 Frasier12:00 The Big Bang Theory13:00 Channel 4 News MiddaySummary13:05 Four in a Bed15:40 Countdown16:30 Deal or No Deal17:30 Come Dine with Me18:00 Coach Trip18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdownto Crufts19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News20:55 Paralympic Winter Games The Countdown21:00 Kirstie's Best of Both Worlds22:00 The Taste23:00 Strippers

00:00 Mercenary for Justice01:50 SuperCasino04:05 Born to Kill?05:00 House Doctor05:45 Great Artists06:10 Wildlife SOS07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Olly the Little White Van07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box08:00 Little Princess08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Trauma Doctors14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Deadly Isolation18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 NewsTalk Live20:00 The Dog Rescuers20:30 5 News Update20:30 Police 521:00 Benidorm ER22:00 The Mentalist23:00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit

41

00:45 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands01:15 Jackpot24704:00 Burn after Reading05:35 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Daybreak09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Tipping Point18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Tonight21:00 Emmerdale21:30 Birds of a Feather22:00 Coronation Street23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:35 Edge of Heaven

00:00 Strippers01:00 Random Acts01:05 World Trade Center03:10 Paralympic Winter Games03:15 The Opposite Sex05:10 SuperScrimpers05:15 Location, Location, Location06:10 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard06:35 Countdown08:05 Paralympic Winter Games08:10 Will & Grace09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:30 Frasier12:00 The Big Bang Theory13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Four in a Bed15:40 Countdown16:30 Deal or No Deal17:30 Come Dine with Me18:00 Coach Trip18:30 Superstar Dogs: Countdownto Crufts19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News20:55 Paralympic Winter Games21:00 The Hoarder Next Door22:00 The Floods That Foiled NewYear: Caught on Camera23:00 The Repo Man

00:00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit01:55 SuperCasino04:05 Brain Hospital: Saving Lives05:00 House Doctor05:45 Great Artists06:10 Wildlife SOS07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Olly the Little White Van07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box08:00 Little Princess08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Henry VIII & Anne: TheLovers Who Changed History14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Obsession18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 NewsTalk Live20:00 The Truth About Travellers21:00 It Takes a Thief to Catch aThief22:00 The Hotel Inspector23:00 70Stone and Almost Dead

00:05 Film 201400:35 Blandings01:05 Weatherview01:10 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Heir Hunters11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Countryside 99912:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 Regional News and Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 James Martin: HomeComforts17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 EastEnders21:00 Holiday Hit Squad22:00 DIY SOS23:00 BBC News23:25 Regional News and Weather23:35 Question Time

00:20 An Hour to Save Your Life01:20 See Hear01:50 This Is BBC Two05:00 Schools Rock Types atGreat Heights05:50 Schools WilliamWhiskerson: Cave06:00 Schools Bringing Books to

Life07:00 This Is BBC Two07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Countryside 99908:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Helicopter Heroes10:05 Bible Hunters11:05 An Island Parish11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening14:10 War Walks14:40 The First Eden15:40 Cagney & Lacey16:25 Bergerac17:15 Are You Being Served?17:45 'Allo 'Allo!18:15 Antiques Roadshow19:00 Revenge of the Egghead19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog20:00 The Planners21:00 The Hairy Bikers' AsianAdventure22:00 37 Days23:00 Rhod Gilbert's WorkExperience23:30 Newsnight

37 DAYSNew series. Political thriller charting the behindthescenes events in the corridors of power in thedays leading up to the outbreak of the First WorldWar. The British Foreign Office, led by Sir EdwardGrey, receives news of an assassination in theBalkans, while in Berlin Kaiser Wilhelm thinks hecan exploit the situation to his own advantage.Starring Ian McDiarmid and Rainer Sellien.Continues tomorrow.

00:35 Mayhem & Mishaps: BritainCaught on Camera01:35 Weatherview01:40 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Heir Hunters11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Countryside 99912:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 Regional News and Weather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 James Martin: HomeComforts17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather19:30 BBC London News20:00 The One Show21:00 Waterloo Road22:00 Outnumbered22:30 Mrs Brown's Boys23:00 BBC News23:25 Regional News and Weather23:25 National Lottery Update23:35 A Question of Sport

BBC200:20 Mind the Gap: London vs theRest01:20 The Super League Show02:05 Britain's Great War03:05 This Is BBC Two05:00 Britain's Great War05:55 The Burrowers

06:25 Schools Seeking Refuge06:50 Schools In My Shoes:Rotterdam07:00 Homes Under the Hammer08:00 Countryside 99908:45 Caught Red Handed09:15 Helicopter Heroes10:00 Inside the Animal Mind11:00 An Island Parish11:30 See Hear12:00 BBC News12:30 Daily Politics14:00 The A to Z of TV Gardening14:10 War Walks14:40 The First Eden15:40 Cagney & Lacey16:25 Bergerac17:15 Are You Being Served?17:45 'Allo 'Allo!18:15 Antiques Roadshow19:00 Revenge of the Egghead19:30 Sport Relief's Top Dog20:00 The Planners21:00 The Restaurant Man22:00 Line of Duty23:00 Inside No 923:30 Newsnight23:30 Weather

00:00 Three Wives, One Husband01:00 Random Acts01:05 Poker02:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly02:30 Paralympic Winter Games02:35 Beach Volleyball03:30 Paralympic Winter Games03:55 Trans World Sport04:50 The Grid05:20 Arenacross05:45 Freesports on 406:15 FIM Superbike WorldChampionship06:40 SuperScrimpers06:55 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard07:20 Countdown08:05 Paralympic Winter Games08:10 Will & Grace09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:30 Frasier12:00 The Big Bang Theory13:00 Channel 4 News MiddaySummary13:05 Four in a Bed16:30 Deal or No Deal17:30 Come Dine with Me ExtraPortions18:00 Coach Trip18:30 Countdown to Crufts19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News20:55 Paralympic Winter Games21:00 The Restoration Man22:00 24 Hours in A&E23:00 First Dates

00:00 Body of Proof01:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent01:55 SuperCasino04:05 Henry VIII & Anne: TheLovers Who Changed History05:00 House Doctor05:45 Great Artists06:10 Wildlife SOS07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Olly the Little White Van07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box08:00 Little Princess08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Police Interceptors13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 The Gadget Show14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS: Los Angeles16:15 Final Verdict18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 NewsTalk Live20:00 The Lost Orphan: A Home forMirela21:00 Left for Dead by theYorkshire Ripper22:00 NCIS23:00 Suspects

00:40 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries01:05 Jackpot24704:00 Loose Women04:45 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Daybreak09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Tipping Point18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Coronation Street20:30 Live International Football23:10 ITV News and Weather23:40 ITV News Meridian23:40 ITV Meridian Weather23:45 International FootballHighlights

ENGLAND VDENMARK

Adrian Chiles presents coverage of the matchfrom Wembley Stadium, the first of England'sfour international friendlies leading into theWorld Cup. Following this encounter RoyHodgson's men will host Peru at the home ofEnglish football after the conclusion to thedomestic football calendar, before facingEcuador and Honduras in Miami.

The Courier Wednesday TV

The Courier Thursday TV March 6

March 5


Pro Business Support – forall your accountancy needsin English; bookkeeping,taxes, wage slips and more.We cater for companies andselfemployed people; wecan deal with everything foryou. Call us on 966 923 963for first consultation free ofcharge.

Bar for traspaso Wellestablished, 9 year old,beach front terrace on theMar Menor, with a good mixof both British and Spanishclientele. Hard working bar.For more information contact 637 362 863 (157)

International ChristianAssembly, Calle Pilar deHoradada 5, Torrevieja.Evangelical nondenominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children'schurch 11am. House groupsin Torrevieja, Los Balcones,San Javier. Ladies meetingThursdays 11am. Craft club,Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor,Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian CommunityChurch Calle Canalejas 3.Pilar de la Horadada.Sunday Service at 11am,and Thursday at 5pm for

Prayer and Praise andWorship Home groups meetduring the week. All welcome from any church background or none. For furtherinformation contactPilarChristian.CommunityCh u r c h @ g m a i l . c o m968575417 or 966848806.Reg No:2009SG/AThe Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints(Mormons) meet at 10.00each Sunday at theirTorrevieja meetinghouse inthe Torreaguas building onthe corner of Rambla JuanMateo Garcia 104, close tothe windmill in Torrevieja,667 533 597.The rainbow centre for spiritual awareness. Meets inthe function room at sackosbar el liminar just off the cv905 rojales to torrevieja roadWe have a divine service onSundays 11am and onWednesdays we hold anevening of clairvoyance at7.30pm Also onWednesdays there is anopen circle at 5.45 pm forthose who wishing to develop there mediumistic skills.

Healing is available bytrained and certificated healers after each meeting. Awarm welcome to friends oldand new. The mediums formarch are Sun 2nd DebbieBlevins wed 5th TrishDoherty & Jaqueline Hollandhunt flowercentience ( bringa flower that no one else hastouched ) Sun 9th BelindaBradley and Sandra Galleywed 12th David DarnbourghSun 16th SammyFitzimmons wed 19th SuzyHilton, ( visiting from the uk )sun 23rd Suzy Hilton, who isbeing ordained as a ministerat this service Wed 26thMorag Bullock, sun 30thTrish Doherty ( mother’s dayservice ) For further information call Trish on 966 844795 or email therainbowcen[email protected]

A bulk buy of fragranceflame candles, 3 in a boxeach candle burns for anhour ideal for garden or terrace, great seller for markets or boots even shops,enquires to Glen on606926437.(158)For sale Mens flip flops ,24in a carton, great seller withsummer coming,24 in a carton, bulk buy available forenquires ring Glen606926437 (158)

Car insurance quotes – newextra discount on fully com

prehensive policies at theprice of third party!Excellent prices for expats,all policies and call centrestaff in English. We will callyou back with a quote. 966923 963

CASER SEGUROS for allyour insurance needs,home, car, health, funeral.Policies available in Englishand German. CallProfessional BusinessSupport on 966 923 963 fora quick quote from ourfriendly staff.

Viva Villa and VacationServices, For Short or LongTerm Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call:965 707 188 or 626 397 3972 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift,communal rooftop pool &solarium, video entry system. Available for short orlong term rent from 350pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616493 487. (148) Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centreof the small Spanish town ofLos Montesinos, With apleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & allamenities in walking distance. Long and short termrental available. Call: 965707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, 2 Bedroom apartment in Torrevieja, (neargypsy lane), small balcony,near all amenities andFriday market. €350pcmCall: 965 707 188 or 626397 397Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with itsprivate pool is located on theEl Raso urbanisation near

Guardamar. Convenient forall amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants andbars. Short term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1stfloor apartment situated inMolino Blanco. The propertyoverlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short orlong term rental available.Call: 965 707 188 or 626397 397

WANTED! Properties, alltypes, in the Torrevieja areawanted for long term rentals.Call us on 96 692 3963

Ground Floor Duplex, on theMonte y Mar estate of GranAlacant. 3 Bedrooms, 1Bathroom, Fully furnished,Private Parking, Communalpool Ref. GA0094 NOw only83.000e Tel. 680333242Ref: KP3100, €183,000.Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located

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in San Luis, on a 450sqmplot, with communal pool.Garage to side of house.Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397397Opportunity to purchase atthe off plan price of 195.000euros. Large 4 Bed, 3 BathBrand new property. Secureunderground parking for 2cars and communal pool.Situated opposite GranAlacant and over looks projected golf course. Ref No.K52. 627 711 155Rare opportunity to purchase on Mediterrania III,Gran Alacant. 2 bedrooms, 2bathrooms, Private Parking,F/Furnished, Large communal pools & Tennis courtsS/W facing, Dramaticallyreduced for quick sale to126.000 euros. Ref No. K58Call 627 711 155 for immediate viewing

Lovely Corner property inNovamar V, Gran Alacant. 2bedrooms, 2 BathroomsBeing sold fully furnishedincluding appliances, Hassecure underground parkingand faces large oasis communal pool. Walking distance to beach. 139.000Euros, Call 627 711 155 andquote Ref No. K10Don Pueblo, Gran Alacant. 3Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms,Large Kitchen with Galleria,Secure underground parking, Gas Central Heating,Glazed in Porch, Solariumwith stunning views.Viewings absolutely essential. Very large property atreduced price of 190.000euros. Ref No. K38 Call 627711 155 Viva Villa and VacationServices are pleased to offerproperty sales for the

Torrevieja and Oriheulaareas of the Costa Blanca,Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or626 397 397 or Visit :www.villaandvacation.comImmaculate ground floorDuplex, 2 beds, 2 bath,Private Parking, Situated inNovamar, Gran Alacant.Price includes very tastefulfurniture and white goods.Walking distance to all localamenities and beach. Nowonly 129,750 euros. Ref NoK24. 627 711 155Ref: 78, €110,000. Threebedroom Quad in Jardin DelMar VII. There is offroadparking and small storageshed in the enclosed gardenarea, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626397 3972 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floorduplex. Central heating,Grills, Fully furnished,Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parkingand walking distance to theGran Alacant commercialcentre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of PuertoMarino. Now only 96,500euros for quick sale Ref No.K46. 627 711 155

Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.Quiet Location, ExceptionalViews. Converted Underbuild, 2 Lounges, 2Kitchens, Private Garageand being sold FullyFurnished, now only239.950 Ref: L81 Tel.680333242Gran Alacant Detached villa,located in a very sought afterlocation.Situated on a560m2 S/W facing plot andconstructed in 2005.Comprising of 3 bedrooms,3 bathrooms (2 full baths),LoungeDiner, fully equippedKitchen, Porch and Solariumwith Alicante & Sea Views.ref.L81. €258,000 neg. Tel.680333242Corner Plot Property in thelower end of Gran Alacant. 3Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Under build, Roof topSolarium Being sold FullyFurnished including Whitegoods. Walking distance toall local amenities. 139.950eRef. GA0087 Tel.680333242Gran Alacant Town Housewith a difference. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,

Glazed in Porch, QuietLocation, Extra storageareas, and South FacingPrivate Pool as well as 2communal pools. FullyFurnished, All mod cons.Greenland Views and alllocal amenities close by.Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros680 333 242Gran Alacant immaculatevilla, 3 bedroomed, 3 bathroomed property maintainedto a very high standardinside and out and the interior furnishings are top quality,offering a feeling of luxuryand good taste. The plot sizeis 400m2 and has beenbeautifully tiles, and graveled and has establishedpalms and plants. Oil firedcentral heating throughout,log effect fire place, ceilingfans in all rooms, towelheater rails, glazed in shower units, instant hot water,water purifier, free EnglishTV, phone & internet lines,fitted double hangingwardrobes, safe, glazed infront porch, vanity units andmuch more. The pool is an 8X 4 m2 salt water pool,meaning maintenance is

much easier plus outside toilet and shower. Sea views tofront with Greenland viewsto the rear. ref K51.€245,000 Tel 680333242 Ref: 520, €72,000. Two bedroom apartment in DreamHills, with a fully equippedkitchen, large lounge,glazedin terrace and a largesolarium. This propertycomes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965707 188 or 626 397 397Ref: 104 Lovely 2 BedroomApartment, close to Shops,walking distance to FridayMarket and Town Centre andthe beach. The property isclose to the HabaneresShopping Centre andAquapark. Recently refurbished apartment in a goodcentral location.Conveniently situated for allthe facilities of this modernvibrant town, and only a fewblocks away fromTorreviejas excellent seafront with its abundant cafes,restaurants and shops. Price€43950 Call: 965 707 188 or626 397 397


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Gran Alacant, Situated inthe "Alto" part of GranAlacant, this 3 bedroomed,4th floor apartment, offersluxury accommodation, withabsolutely stunning seaviews, as well as views ofAlicante bay and the famousSanta Barbara Castle.Theapartment is 89 squaremeters with open plankitchen / living room andincludes all electrical appliances & furniture also thereis a utility room, open terrace, and private parking.The urbanisation also offersmany communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants andbars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel680333242Gran Alacant villa located ina very quiet area , situatedat the end of a culdesacmeans there is no throughtraffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2plot, established large gardens, working fireplace,solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facinggreat views, fully furnished,fantastic opportunity. ref.L85. €215,000 Tel680333242Beach front Line property,over looks CarabassiBeach, Gran Alacant. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Secure UndergroundParking, Fully furnished,Roof Top Solarium. 3 Large

Communal Pools, Fantasticcommunal Gardens, TennisCourts and much more.125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.Tel. 627 711 155Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1bedroom apartment inAguas Nuevas, within a 5minute walk of the beach.There is a terrace outsidewith views to the sea. Shortor long term rental available.Call: 965 707 188 or 626397 397 Limited Edition Fortaleze inGran Alacant ExceptionallyLarge Plot. 4 Bedrooms, 3Bathrooms, Large PrivatePool with DecorativeGarden, Private Parking,Electric Gates, Glazed inPorch, Solarium, Underbuild. Quiet sought afterarea. Very tastefully furnished and all included370.000e Ref. K52 Tel.627711155Gran Alacant, Situated frontline to the famous blue flagbeaches of Carabassi, thereal beauty of this propertyis its proximity to the beach,but also on offer is a fantastic communal pool situatedin beautifully kept gardenswith little Spanish walkways.Comprising of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, loungediner, American style kitchenincluding all appliances, rooftop solarium with stunningviews, front porch area withfront garden and a secure

underground garage. fullyfurnished Ref. K23€125,000 rare opportunityTel 680333242 Gran Alacant limited editionvilla, not very often availableon the market. Only a few ofthis type were ever constructed Very large 5 bedrooms, 4 bathroom(2 ensuit) property, situated on alarge corner plot with a 10 x5 private pool and privateparking. Loungediner withworking fireplace, fullyequipped kitchen with utilityroom. Large landing area,leading onto solarium, withextra storage external room.Front porch area leadinginto large well establishedgardens with irrigation system and fruit trees. Beingsold fully furnished. Withinwalking distance to GranAlacant commercial centreand 5 minute drive toCarabassi beaches. ref.K11. €270,000 Tel680333242Ref: 516, €23,950. Studioapartment in San Luis, closeto amenities. Open plan fullyequipped kitchen. Goodsized lounge, bedroom andout onto balcony which hasbeen glazed to createanother room. Call: 965 707188 or 626 397 397 Lovely clean detached Villajust as you enter GranAlacant. Very central location, 3 Bedrooms, 3Bathrooms, Glazed inPorch, Garden Shed,Private Parking, AttractiveGardens, Private pool Ref:K59 240.000e Tel.627711155Large 4 Bedroom, 4Bathroom, 2 Kitchens, 2Lounges, 600m2+ plotLarge Retractable Glazed inPool for all year swimming,Private Parking for 4 cars,Very lowmaintenance, FullyFurnished. 330.000e butNegotiable. Very different tothe other properties in GranAlacant and is disabledfriendly Ref: L80 Tel.680333242

Mid Terraced Townhouse onAvda Polognia, GranAlacant Furnished to a veryhigh standard and includesWhite Goods. 3 Bed, 2 Bath,Lounge Diner, Fully converted Under build offering asecond lounge and largestorage area. Roof topSolarium, Glazed in galleriawith extended worktops.Front Garden with BBQ,Communal Pool withGardens. 132.000e Ref.K16 Tel. 627711155SemiDetached Villa withOpen Greenland Views tothe Rear and Alicante Viewsto the Front, means thisproperty in Gran Alacantwould appeal to anybodylooking for a quiet location.Comprising of 3 Bedrooms,3 Bathrooms, Lounge diner,with working Fire place,Porch, Solarium,Established Gardens andPrivate Pool, PrivateParking on a large plot.265.000e Ref. L95 Tel.680333242Gran Alacant, detached villain desirable road close to allamenities, comprising of 3double bedrooms, 3 baths,lounge diner with workingfire place, brand newkitchen with all appliancesand black granite work tops,private pool, plot of 550m2,established irrigated gardens and fruit trees, privateparking, solarium, also thereis a converted under buildgiving more bedrooms,bathroom & kitchen, thishouse has many extras andis being sold fully furnished.Ref.k47. €280,000 neg Tel680333242 Gran Alacant large detachedvilla with 3 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms,loungediner, fully equippedkitchen, large porch, roof topsolarium, 400 m2 Plot, withestablished low maintenance very private gardenswith irrigation system, electronic gates, private parking,outside wc, sink & shower,terraces, air con ( h & c ),mosquito nets, grills,

alarmed, large spa pool withseparate Jacuzzi section.Within easy walking distance to Gran Alacant commercial centre and close tolocal bus and tram route.Ref K33. €260,000 neg Tel680333242Offers Invited on a midTerraced Town house inGran Alacant. Comprising of3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Lounge Diner, Galleria,Solarium, Under build.Communal Pool andGardens, and withExceptional Views ofAlicante. Being Sold FullyFurnished including WhiteGoods. Ref. K42 Tel.627711155 (reasonableoffers only)2 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom,Unfurnished Mid TerracedTownhouse in GA. Recentlydecorated throughoutmeans this property is avery clean black canvass.Has AirCon & SecurityGrills and the use of aCommunal Pool. Pricerecently reduced to110.000e Ref.K12 Tel.627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bathroom, Top Floor Duplex inGran Alacant. Very ModernProperty with Many extras.Glazed in Porch, Roof TopSolarium, Wooden Flooring.Immaculate condition andready to move in. Ref. K15Tel. 627711155.Gran Alacant, Situated onthe very first urbanisation asyou enter Gran Alacant, this2nd floor duplex offers tasteand quality. Comprising of 2bedrooms, 1 bathroom,loungediner, independentkitchen, full rooftop solarium with superb views andrecently glazed in porchoffering extra living area aswell as extra privacy as theglass is mirrored. Ref.K44€108,000 Tel 680333242Gran Alacant southfacing,very private villa, with wood

land and Alicante views.Situated at the end of asmall culdesac whichmeans this villa enjoys avery peaceful location.3Bedrooms with fittedwardrobes, 3 Bathrooms,loungediner with workingfireplace, fully fitted kitchenwith including white goods,large front porch,solarium,workshop and storage in under build, centralheating, air con H/C, ceilingfans, grills, UK T.V, off roadparking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to itsorientation of this propertyenjoys full sun, all day,something very important inthe winter months. Ref.K24.€237,000 Tel 680333242

Experienced quizmaster/question setter withpersonality available to hostquiz nights in local bars.Tel: 664 838 581

RADIO COSTA INTERNATIONAL needs motivatedsellers. Spanish, Englishand German language is abonus but not essential.Training and good earningsguaranteed. For more infocall 644 126 600 or emailinfo@radicocostainternational.com

Need English speakingsolicitors in Torrevieja? Letus help to solve your problems with debt recovery,divorce, property, fraud,criminal defence. Call us on966 923 963, give us briefdetails and get in touch withyour specialist solicitortoday

SALON MARGARETHAS,23 years in TorreviejaHair/Wig specialist forMedical illness and HairLoss problems. We offer different Hair Replacements,top fillers, Hair prostheses,Toupees and Wigs, Naturaland Artificial hair and muchmore. Also fashion/festivalaccessories TV/TS are welcome to our service. Pleasecall our salon reception foran appointment withMargaretha on Tel no 966921 846 Torrevieja (90)

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POOLS

PLUMBERS VAN HIRE

You always know thatspring is in the air as we getready for the first major ofthe season, which is the USMasters in Augusta, and theremoval of the iconicEisenhower Tree has led tosome late changes at the17th. Money, power and privilegecan certainly control manyaspects of life, but it evidentlycannot control Mother Nature!The Augusta National GolfClub was forced to removethe tree, named after formerAugusta member and exUSPresident, Dwight D.Eisenhower, after an ice stormswept the region. TheAugusta club chairman BillyPayne said "The loss of theEisenhower Tree is difficultnews to accept; we got theviews of the best arboristsavailable and were told thatwe just couldn’t restore it tohealth”.The tree was a Loblolly Pine(for the horticultural expertsPinus Tæda) and was estimated to be between 100and 125years old. And it was Eisenhower as an Augusta Nationalmember between 1948 and 1969, who kept hitting into theloblolly pine in the leftcenter of the 17th fairway. The president hit the tree so often that he tried to use his hefty politicalclout to have club chairman and cofounder Clifford Robertsremove “that pesky loblolly pine”, and in a 1956 club meeting, he proposed that action. Masters Chairman CliffordRoberts ruled Ike out of order and adjourned the meeting,with the tree being known ever since as Ike's Tree. AsEisenhower found out, even the power of a sitting U.S. president paled in comparison to a membership base containingtitans of industry, real estate moguls, Wall Street giants andoldmoney billionaires who were infinitely more wealthy andpowerful than the former war hero could ever dream ofbeing.The Eisenhower Tree then evolved into one of the mostrecognisable landmarks on arguably the most famous golfcourse in the world. The tree jutted out into the left portion ofthe 17th fairway about 220 yards from the tournament teebox, forcing players to either play down the right side of thefairway or hit a high righttoleft shot in order to positionthemselves properly for a clear approach into the green.Although the Tree has created many memorable momentsover the years, it most recently made headlines back in2011, when Tiger Woods injured his left knee and Achillestendon while attempting to hit an approach shot from thepine straw underneath the tree. The injury Woods sustainedunderneath the Tree would eventually cause him to missseveral months of the season as well as the U.S. Open andthe Open Championship. Another memorable moment was when the 1973 Masters

champion Tommy Aaron hit a drive, which went into the topof the Eisenhower pine, with pollen going everywhere, withAaron presuming that the ball was trapped in the branches.The local caddie in Aaron’s group said that the balls don’tstay in the tree, but Tommy Aaron was insistent that the ballwas lodged in there. Nobody could find it, and Aaron had togo back and play another under the lost ball rule. The nextday, the story goes, they were walking by the Tree and a balldropped out of it, with Aaron recognizing it because his ballwas a Pinnacle. The great Jack Nicklaus and Augusta specialist, Jack Nicklaus was told the story, and said: “I’m notsure I believe it.” Tommy Aaron responded by saying that hehad a witness in the form of his caddie, Rhett Sinclair.Sixtime Masters Winner Jack Nicklaus said that: “TheEisenhower Tree is such an iconic fixture and symbol of tradition at Augusta National, as well as such an integral part ofthe game, that it will be sorely missed. I hit it so many times

over the years that I don’t careto comment on the names Icalled myself and the names Imight have called the tree.‘Ike’s Tree’ was a kind choice,but looking back, Ike’s Treewill be greatly missed.”The complexion of the 17thhole, named Nandina by thegolf club, would look vastly different today without the mostfamous Loblolly Pine in theworld wreaking havoc alongthe left side of the fairway. ButMasters participants shouldn’tget too comfortable with theidea of being able to grip andrip their tee shot off of the 17thtee in six weeks’ time. Whilemoney, power and privilegemight not be able to controlMother Nature, would anyonebe surprised if the AugustaNational Golf Club spent thenext few weeks scouring theglobe to locate an identicalloblolly pine tree and then hadthat new tree up alongside the17th fairway by the middle ofMarch. This writer would cer

tainly not be the least bit surprised if an Eisenhower TreePart II was planted long before the azaleas begin to bloomin Augusta!

GOLF QUOTES1: "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just howchildlike golf players become is proven by their frequentinability to count past five."2: "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking upthe wrong golf ball."3: "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is soyou can't see him laughing."4: "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoywithout being good at it."


Greenside GossipIVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - [email protected]

TITTER ON THE TEEConsider the golfer who was behind by a couple ofstrokes in a competitive match with a friend.The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sinkthis next putt."A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would yougive up 25% of your sex life?"The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answerwill be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a goodomen, so he says: "Okay," and sinks the putt.Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I couldonly get an eagle on this hole."The same stranger moves to his side and says: "Wouldit be worth another 25% of your sex life?"The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure”. He makes an eagle.On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle towin. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to hisside and says, "Would you be willing to give up the restof your sex life to win this match?"The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, the stranger walksalongside and says: "You know, I've really not been fairwith you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil,and from now on you will have no sex life.""Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "I'm FatherO'Malley."

QUESTION On the first hole at the Old Course, St Andrews, Ken hits

his second shot in to the Swilcan Burn which is marked as awater hazard. The strong flow of water in the hazard takesthe ball out of bounds. Which of the following statements iscorrect?

A: Ken must proceed under stroke and distance. B. Ken may drop the ball back on a line keeping the point

where the ball last crossed the margin of the hazard betweenhim and the hole.

C. Ken may drop the ball within two club lengths of wherethe ball last crossed the margin of the hazard.

ANSWERA: Ken must proceed under stroke and distance Decision

Rules of Golf 261/7

KNOW YOUR RULES

IKE’S TREE TAKES A HIKE


An Edu hattrick led theway as Montesinos tore theiropponents apart, and itcould easily have reacheddoublefigures had it notbeen for the Benejuzarkeeper. There was none ofthe aggression and nastiness amongst the visitingfans that led to a fearsomeatmosphere in the away fixture earlier this season, asMonte let their play do all thetalking.

Vaz and Edu were on topof things early on, but theBenejuzar keeper produceda string of great saves tokeep a clean sheet until Vaz

converted a penalty, andthen Edu took advantage ofa great cross from Omar tomake it twonil at half time.

The second half was allMonte with Vaz and Edusoon converting chances tomake it fournil, with Eduthen securing his hattrick.Orouker had a real playermaker role all during thegame, and set up Omar tomake it sixnil, and then hesent Dimitry clear on a run tofinish it off at sevennil.Orouker was presentedafterwards with the Man ofthe Match award by AndyJeffers of match sponsors

Breeze Bar, Benimar. Thisweekend Monte are away toPilar de la Horadada side,Grupo Caliche.

Seventh heaven for MonteCD MONTESINOS 7 ATL BENEJUZAR 0

Torrevieja picked up an excellent away point atplayoff seeking Paterna, which means that Torrylie 10th, and are 5 points behind Paterna and theplayoff zone.

Injuries meant that Gomez and Rafa were out,whilst an unfit Obele was on the bench andtogether with the suspension of Dani Meseguer,the Torry coach Serrano had to ring the changes,both in terms of personnel and playing positions.He was rewarded with a gutsy performance. Thefirst half was fairly uneventful, but then Torry actually had the better chances in the second period,the pick of those being an Alexis header that justwent wide and a fierce drive from Dani Lucas.

Torrevieja entertain relegationthreatenedVillarreal C this Sunday lunchtime at the VicenteGarcia stadium with a 12.00 pm kickoff. The clubare looking for big turn out, so if a season ticketholder brings a friend, then the admission cost willbe at halfprice for just 5 Euros. If two non seasonticket holders come together, then the first will paythe normal price and the second will again receivea 50% discount, paying just 5 Euros. The gatesand the bars will open at 11.00am.

Torry make their pointPATERNA 0 FC TORREVIEJA 0

Barcelona, featuring Lionel Messi,Neymar and Andres Iniesta, were a shadowof the side that outwitted Manchester City inlast week’s Champions League clash as theLa Liga title holders slumped to a shockdefeat at Real Socieded on Saturday.

An Alex Song own goal in the 32nd minuteput the Basque side on their way despiteMessi equalising 4 minutes later. Antoine

Griezman restored their lead in the 54thminute and David Zurutuza ghosted in toseal victory just before the hour mark.

It could have been worse for the champions as Vela hit the woodwork late on, and toadd to their woes, they had their coach,Gerardo Martino, dismissed at halftime forcomplaining to the referee. Barcelona are athome this Sunday to Almeria.

BARCA DOWNEDREAL SOCIEDAD 3 BARCELONA 1

Gareth Bale scored an outstanding longrange goal as Real Madrid beat Elche 30 atthe Bernabeu on Saturday afternoon to gotop of La Liga, and stayed there through theweekend as both Barcelona and AtleticoMadrid both lost. Elche could take comfortthat the teams below them in the table notable to make significant progress, they finished the latest round of matches four pointsclear of the relegation zone.

Madrid struggled to control the game inthe opening half an hour, as Elche put on arespectable display in the first half, but theyonly managed two shots on target throughout the match, and wilted once they wentbehind. That happened when Illaramendifired a low shot into the bottom corner ofManu Herrera's net.The goal settleddown Real, andKarim Benzemacould have got thesecond before thebreak, his low shotsaved by Elchekeeper ManuHerrera.

Herrera thoughalmost landed histeam in huge trou

ble when he took the ball round Benzema inhis own area and played a hurried pass toAlberto Botia, who was dispossessed byJese before fouling the Real Madrid forward,but only being shown a yellow card.

Madrid's second goal was a cracker asBale picked the ball up around 35 yards outand blasting high into the net to score his10th league goal for Los Blancos.

Isco replaced the offcolour Jese shortlyafter Bale's screamer and almost providedthe third goal for Dani Carvajal, who completely missed the midfielder's low cutbackfrom a couple of yards, the ball insteadrolling across the goalmouth. So the formerMalaga man took care of the final goal himself, controlling a pass from Benzema then

racing between twodefenders to knockthe ball in at thenear post.

Elche next entertain midtable CeltaVigo this Saturdaynight, whilst Realhave a big showdown away to thirdplaced city rivals,Atletico thisSunday afternoon.

BALE STUNNERDOWNS ELCHE

REAL MADRID 3 ELCHE 0

Gareth Bale scored twice as Real Madridhammered Schalke away on Wednesday toall but reach the Champions League quarterfinals. The Welshman netted his side's second after a mazy dribble and added a coolfinish for Real's fifth. Cristiano Ronaldo beat

Joel Matip with a flurry of stepovers for asuperb third as he and Karim Benzema alsoscored twice in a thrilling display. KlaasJanHuntelaar's spectacular injurytime volleypulled a goal back, but the tie seems over asa contest.

SCHALKE SHOCKEDFC SHALKE 1 REAL MADRID 6

IN the week the greatTom Finney died aged91, ManchesterUnited’s WayneRooney signed a newcontract ‘earning’£300,000 per week,tying the sharpScouser to OldTrafford until 2019.

It would be a pretty safebet that ‘poor’ old parttimeplumber Tom never earnedanything like Wayne’s weekly wage in his whole footballcareer. Staggering along ona mere £42, 847 a daymakes the 28 yearoldRooney the financial king ofBritish football. Oh,and justone moreeyewatering statistic:‘ H e r r ’Rooney willearn £85.8min the next fiveyears until2019. That’llkeep his hairdressing affairs in order,those transplants orimplants, whatever areexpensive, you know.

However, it’s notjust about money,believe it or

not. United are also tryingprove to other current bigstars at Old Trafford, likeRobin van Persie that theclub still harbours furtherambitions, not only byretaining Red Rooney butalso by recently signingJuan Mata from Chelsea for£37m. The Spaniard is worldclass and may yet prove anembarrassment to Chelseaand Mourinho for letting himgo to a major competitor.

Yes, of course, we’re allagreed: the money isobscene, immoral etc. But if

you listen to theother side of

the story, yourealise thatU n i t e djust could

not afford to let onetimewayward Wayne wander,not if they wanted to continue to remain a major powerhouse in British football asthey have always been.There was only 16 monthsleft to run on Rooney’s existing contract, meaning thenhe could leave for nothing –perhaps to a competitor likeChelsea when it expired.To replace England’s bestplayer would cost United afortune, so it made soundfinancial sense to keepRooney and exploit theworldwide brand he represents to the club. By 2019,wealthy Wayne will be 34,meaning he will have loyallyplayed almost all his careerat Old Trafford for 16 years,endearing himself to everyone at the club, and becoming one of United’s alltimegreats in the process.

The David Moyes aspectof Rooney’s career is interesting. Being the 16 yearold‘s first manager atEverton in his native city,and eventually selling him toUnited in 2003 the Scot has

a firsthand knowledge ofwhat really

makes the player tick.There was some unpleasant afters followingRooney’s first autobiography in 2005 with accusations towards Moyes, laterdisproved with acceptedapologies and everyonegrew up a little over it. Butas Alex Ferguson provedover his great managerialyears in dispensing withsuch luminaries of the dayas David Beckham andRoy Keane, no player atUnited is bigger than theclub, and Fergie was having trouble once again withRooney in the Great Scot’sfinal year. It looked very likeRooney was on his way toChelsea at one time – butnow reversing the hearsewith Mata going the otherway, Rooney has suddenlybeen reenergised withapparently accepted accusations from Moyes thatWayne had ‘gone soft’ sospurring the spikey scouserto show spirit and succeed –and he is. That’s the goodnews.

Saturday’s 2 – 0 win overCrystal Palace propelledUnited back up to sixthplace in the Prem, and at thesame time perfectly reminded the football world why

Rooney is clearlythe most exciting player in

British football today and

why he

played like it. While puttingin another massive shift inwork rate, Selhurst Parkwas set alight on 68 minutesas Mata released Evra downthe left, who pulled the ballback from the byline toRooney lurking just outsidethe area. Wacker Wayneleaned back and let itbounce before an exquisitevolley sped into the cornerof the Palace net to consolidate van Persie’s penalty sixminutes earlier and sealingthe game for United: sheerclass, the sort of really outstanding ability that getsWayne Rooney mentionedup there sharing the rarefiedatmosphere of superstarslike Lionel Messi and

Cristiano Ronaldo.And the bad United

news? Well, yes, PremierLeagueally improving lately(they needed to), but inEurope? Tuesday night sawthe Red Devils ineptly godown 2 – 0 in Athens to aspirited Olympiakos sidethat should have held fewfears for a United sidesteeped in European experience (N.B David Moyesdid honourably admitresponsibility for thedefeat). For Best, Law andCharlton in the 60s, in 2014read Rooney, van Persie

and Mata. Today throw inJanuzaj, Welbeck, Kagawa,Carrick, Cleverley, de Gea,Smalling, Jones, Fellaini,Zaha and a few more andthe future at the Theatre ofDreams looks dreamy. Butit clearly isn’t and there’s along way to go in Englandbefore United will look asdominant domestically asthey appeared last season.And as for Europe, well…But this is World Cup year,and England and Rooneywill be in Brazil: anotheropportunity to show theworld what ManchesterUnited’s gem is made of –and why he commands£300,000 per week.


LOADSAMONEY! IT’S A LONG WAY FROM FINNEY TO ROONEY

Club Natacion Torrevieja got a bagful ofmedals from last weekend’s Winter MastersOpen National Championships in Palma,Majorca, with the team taking 14 medals fromtheir 18 individual events.

Day one on Friday saw Beth Altabas andVicki Connolly winning gold medals in their agegroups in the 800m Freestyle event, with PaulMatthews striking gold in the 50m Butterfly and100m Backstroke and silver in his 100mFreestyle event. Then not to be outdone, thegirls matched his results with gold in the 100mbackstroke and 100m Freestyle events forBeth and a bronze medal for Vicki in her 100mFreestyle event.

Vicki continued to increase medal haul onthe Saturday, getting silver in the 400 m and200m, whilst Beth struck gold again, this timein the 400m Freestyle winning gold and Paulgot a bronze in his 200m Freestyle race.

There was more success to come on the Sunday, withBeth winning gold in her 100m individual medley, andVicki notching up a personal best as she took bronze in

the 50m Freestyle race. The next major meeting for theTorrevieja team is the Summer Spanish Masters OpenNational Event in Jerez at the end of June.

MASTERS OF THE WATER

Torreviejabased tennisstarlet, Nicola Kuhn (pictured in the middle), haspicked up another honouras along with his Germanteammates, he picked upthe European TeamTennis title. The teenagerwon all of his matches,including the scalp of thecurrent European numberone, Alen Avizdba. Theresult means that Kuhn isnow ranked at number 2in the under14 Europeanstandings.

Kuhn conquers

Pleasant sunny conditionsprovided the perfect backdrop for last Sunday’sTorrevieja HalfMarathon and10km Road Race. 895 runners took part in the HalfMarathon, with Ukrainian IuriiVykhopen of the TorreviejaAthletics club taking themen’s contest, whilst theFinnish athlete Petri Huhtala,also from the Torrevieja club,won the ladies race.

Marathon winners

SILENCE IS GOLDEN!Mou shuts his mouth and Chelsea (nearly) shut up shop


Shh, but ‘somebody’ shut monosyllabic Mourinho’s mouth beforeChelsea’s late, late win overunlucky Everton last weekend, thesulky ‘Silent One’ refusing toanswer just about all quirky questions before the match. Dad’s Armydid the talking for him on the fieldthough, finally filching it in theBattle of the Blues in the 90thminute: Frankie Lampard’s wickedly inswinging free kick eludedalmost everyone except JohnTerry/Branislav Ivanovic /Ron

Howard (delete whereyouwant). Face formidablefacts: John Terry has now scored a record 35 careergoals for his club, seriously superior stats for a centraldefender – wot, no England? JT definitely put thecountry’s regular stopper Phil Jagielka in the shade onSaturday: end result Martinez mightily miffed, meanwhile Mou muted (marvellous...). Similar story inIstanbul on Wednesday as Chelsea became the onlyEnglish side to get anything in Europe, a 1 – 1 drawaway in Didier Drogba’s Galatasaray. Keep it quiet, butbig local derby Saturday, bottom v top by the swollenThames as feisty Felix’s Fulham face the busybutbattling Blues.It’s catching though… Man City’s Manuel Pellegrini isalso learning to keep it shut after unwise refereebaiting caused the Chilean to apologise (can’t see Moudoing that) to UEFA officialdom. Afterwards againststalwart Stoke, it took a late Yaya Toure strike to putaway the unbeateninthree Potters. City’s Hartwarming defence held out as Joe kept out a Charlie Adambelter and more, but the unbelievable miss of thematch materialised for Edin Dzeko who kicked the postin rage after somehow failing to score from a yard out:comical. Sunday early doors, it’s the Capital Cup final (yawn) forCity against – Sunderland. Hey, the Blues have fallible

form here, lost to the Black Cats earlier in the season and don’t mention Wigan. Gus’s guys were gunneddown 4 – 1 at The Emirates. Were nerves Finally showing? Olivier Giroud’s early brace put ominouslyOzilomitted Arsenal ahead, exhibition efforts ensued asRosicky made it Czech mate with the best goal, finishing off a fourman move with aplomb. The Gunnerslooked like Barcelona at times as they strolled roundfor the benefit of an old Dutchman: watching from thestand was exhero Dennis Bergkamp, his new bronzestatue glistening in a nofly zone on the car park. Stokenext up away for Arsene’s army.Wow, worrabout yer ‘Ammers then? Four wins on thespin, takes ‘em tenth! That 19th century footballworked again as West Ham hampered spiritedSouthampton 3 – 1, that after going down to a nippySaints stunner from Yoshida, Adrian’s wall breached atlast after four clean sheets. Carlton Cole’s continuingCarrollcopying, Handynot Andy’s still suspended.How about captain Kevin Nolan now doing yerreformed sinner bit with his seven goals and threeassists? But interestingly, in Kev’s postmatch interview he revealed the club psychologist had helped sorthim out. Now there’s a thought have all clubs gotthem?Pulis’ s Palace were polishedoff professionally 2 – 0by Man United, firstly by a van Persie penalty, followedby wealthy Wayne Rooney showing his money beltwasn’t weighing him down as he superbly volleyed inthe clincher to clip the Eagles wings. Hey, the SelhurstPark fans are brilliant, what a din they make, and sportingly Wayne didn’t even mind things being thrown athim as he took the corners, longmemoried Palace fansno doubt remembering kamikaze Kung Fu EricCantona.Newcastle fans have been unhappy campers of late;the Magpies had lost their last five games. TheRemydey for reversal and revelry came very lateagainst Valiant Villa as their backfromsuspensionGallic hero weaved round Ron Vlaar to dramatically

score the only goal in the 90th minute. Now its Villafans who’re unhappy – again no goals, despite thatthreepronged attack of Benteke, Weimann andAgbonlahor: the Villains are only four points above theDDD, so big day at Villa Park then Sunday as Spursstunners Norwich and Delia visit their old friend PaulLambert.Likewise locally Newcastle visit Hull: the Tigers arepurring contentedly after their wonderful weekend inWales, their new strike force Shane Long and NikicaJelavic ripping Cardiff to pieces 4 0. Hey, boyos, goodjob Wales crushed France at rugby, ‘cos nothing’sgoing right in the Welsh capital footballfashion. Fivechanges didn’t work, beleaguered Ole GunnarSolskjaer seems to be quickly losing those babyfacedlooks of his and has aged enormously over the eightweeks he’s been jefe at Cardiff. Will he last? SeeVincent Tan’s wisely nowhere to be seen. Now Cardiffgo to Tim’s Tottenham, simmering Spurs no doubtnarked after being knocked back at Norwich. Question: Who’s the biggest scorers in the Prem? ManCity? Wrong… Arsenal? U R joking, kilometres out!Hey youse, it’s fourthplaced Liverpool with 60 goals and if you said that was all down to Luis Suarez, well,no actually. Yes, he has 25, but Daniel Sturridge scoredtwo more on Saturday against Brendan Rodgers’ oldboys Swansea, the exChelsea striker (!) has nowscored in 8 successive games bringing his total to 19– and he was out injured for several weeks. Lively Luisdidn’t score in the thrilling 4 – 3 win over Swansea, butlet one go from the halfway line, Pele style, sadly itwent just wide, and Gerrard hit the post late on. Buthail those super Swans who put up a terrific fight, finally Jordan Henderson got his second, and the late winner in the thriller at Anfield. Liverpool look great goingforward, but the Swalians exposed the Reds’ defensiveproblems terrific to watch, though. N.B.s.b exciting atSouthampton Saturday for Liverpool. Goals glut goingon? Hope so.

JohnMcGregor

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Week 158

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