Webseries Season 3 Episode 4

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    FADE IN:

    INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT

    Smolder and Scullery are sitting at the desk. Drake is stretched out on the couch

    reading a book titled "The Squirrel-Pigeon 2: Nature's Deadliest Sequel". Sculleryfiddles with her fingers.

    SCULLERY

    Where could he have gone? It's not like

    he knows a lot of people besides us.

    SMOLDER

    Ex-movie studio executives tend to know

    a lot of people Scullery so he could be anywhere.

    Scullery walks over to the window and looks outside.

    SCULLERY

    Oh yeah. I keep forgetting about that.

    Smolder slides off the desk and crouches down next to the couch. He reaches under it

    and feels around.

    SMOLDER

    Well we haven't talked about it recently so

    that's understandable.

    Scullery walks over to the desk and opens one of the drawers. Smolder sits on the floor

    against the couch.

    SCULLERY

    What are we gonna do?

    Scullery starts pulling things out of the desk. She pulls out two leather whips, a little

    griffin statue, a book titled "How to Sleep at a Professional Level", and another book

    titled "Why Things Happen And What's In It For You."

    SMOLDER

    Maybe he's trying to find his father.

    Scullery closes the drawer. Smolder stands up.

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    SCULLERY

    But none of us know where Guildenstern

    went into hiding.

    Smolder closes his eyes for a few seconds and then opens them again.

    SMOLDER

    That's not exactly true. I just located him

    with my thingamajig.

    SCULLERY

    Where is he?

    SMOLDER

    He's where no one would ever think

    to look for him...

    SCULLERY

    The ceiling of a Denny's?

    SMOLDER

    No. Ashland, Oregon.

    DRAKE

    I wish I'd read the previous book because

    this book is hard to follow. The plot is

    really complex... and it's missing about

    half of it's pages.

    30 MINUTES LATER

    Smolder is on the phone.

    SMOLDER

    Are you sure he's not around there?

    GUILDENSTERN (V. O.)(from phone)

    Yeah... wait, there he is!

    (pauses)

    Oh it's just a regular shoe box.

    Scullery grabs the book away from Drake.

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    SMOLDER

    If he finds you please let us know.

    Drake leans off the couch and tries to grab the book back. He loses his balance and

    falls off the couch.

    GUILDENSTERN (V. O.)

    (from phone)

    And if you find him please let me know.

    He's very special to me and if something

    happened to him I don't know what I'd do.

    Scullery helps Drake up and Drake grabs the book out of her hand.

    SMOLDERWe feel the same way about him.

    Scullery grabs the book and they tug-a-war with it.

    GUILDENSTERN (V. O.)

    (from phone)

    I doubt that. He's my firstborn and creating

    someone like him is a very unique experience.

    We have a bond that can never be broken.

    The book slips out of their hands and flies up in the air.

    GUILDENSTERN (V. O.)

    (from phone)

    Do you know why he got so upset?

    Drake jumps up, grabs the book, and then falls to the floor. Drake looks hurt.

    SMOLDER

    We're not exactly sure. He's never really liked

    Drake but Alan's never been violent... ever.

    Scullery snatches the book from Drake and puts it in one of the desk drawers.

    GUILDENSTERN (V. O.)

    (from phone)

    It's probably a lot of little things that formed

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    into a big snappy thing. He'll be... I gotta go.

    The line goes dead.

    Smolder hangs the phone up.

    SMOLDER

    That was weird.

    FADE TO:

    INT. DIAMOND WATERFRONT GAMES OFFICE - DAY

    Freya and Alan are sitting on the table.

    ALANSo you've never been able to teleport?

    FREYA

    Nope.

    (pauses)

    It sounds like you're accessing new

    powers.

    ALAN

    But why now?

    FREYA

    Maybe it's because of the intense anger you

    felt.

    (pauses)

    I've always had this strange feeling that there

    was a darkside to us but I've never experienced

    it myself.

    ALAN

    So you think I've gone Sith?

    FREYA

    I'm not sure but I'd be careful if I were you.

    ALAN

    Don't judge me okay?

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    FREYA

    I'm not judging.

    ALAN

    It sure sounds like it.

    FREYA

    I'm just worried about you.

    ALAN

    I want to ask you one more thing.

    (pauses)

    Is there a way I can contact our father

    without knowing where he is?

    FREYA

    I don't think so.

    Alan disappears.

    FADE TO:

    INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT

    Drake sits on the couch. He is alone.

    DRAKE

    What's going on?

    The TV flickers on.

    TV (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    --their lives in A Mystifaction of Subterfuge.

    THEME MUSIC

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Who are you hiding from me, Stefan?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

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    (from TV)

    Someone that's hidden.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Well obviously.

    Drake rushes over to the TV.

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Only three people in the United Mexico of

    Austria know about this person and I'm one

    of them. He's a backup plan.

    JENNY (O. S.)(from TV)

    For what? World peace?

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    No.

    Drake shakes the TV.

    DRAKE

    Make with the exposition mouth!

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Excuse me! We're talking here.

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    That's him.

    JENNY (O. S.)(from TV)

    Who?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Drake.

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    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Who's Drake?

    DRAKEI'm Drake!

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    He's Drake?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Yep. He's the back up plan.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Where is he?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    He's in the real world.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    But isn't this the real world?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Nope. This is a fictional TV show and

    we're currently breaking the fourth wall.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    So my life is a sham?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    Pretty much.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

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    Well what happens next?

    Smolder and Scullery enter the room carrying groceries. The TV turns off. Drake turns

    to them.

    DRAKEI was so close to finding out my destiny

    and you guys ruined it!

    SCULLERY

    We just bought you food so try acting

    grateful!

    FADE TO:

    INT. DARK ROOM

    Indrid sits on his chair with a small amount of light coming from above him. Next to

    Indrid is a small table. He snaps his fingers and Alan SUDDENLY appears on the table.

    A small spotlight focuses on Alan.

    ALAN

    What the heck!

    INDRID

    You have been diverted Alan Smithee.

    ALAN

    You're damn right I've been diverted!

    I was trying to find a talking penguin

    stuffed animal.

    INDRID

    You remember me do you not?

    ALAN

    You're the guy who screwed aroundwith my life.

    INDRID

    I am not to blame for your misfortunes. It is

    humanity's fault.

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    ALAN

    That's not true.

    INDRID

    Who took you from your father and

    enslaved you at ARGH Pictures foryears?

    ALAN

    Humans I guess.

    INDRID

    And who imprisoned your father and

    then forced him into hiding?

    ALANThe people who run the Engelsikarios

    Corporation---

    INDRID

    Who are human.

    ALAN

    But Smolder and Scullery are good.

    INDRID

    They have treated you like an amusement.

    They think of you as a nothing more then

    something to entertain them.

    The table starts to wobble.

    ALAN

    That's a lie!

    INDRID

    And now they have Drake, an actual human,to take care of. Someone that they can actually

    have real feelings for.

    Alan starts to sob.

    ALAN

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    They love me.

    The table starts wobbling even more.

    INDRID

    Oh yes, they love you like they love theirtelevision. You are just a shoe box to

    them. An amusing shoe box.

    ALAN

    Why are you telling me this?

    INDRID

    I'm telling you this because I love you

    Alan. You're people love you and we

    want you to know the truth.

    The table stops wobbling.

    ALAN

    You mean the magical people?

    INDRID

    Yes. You belong with us. We want you

    to join us in our war against humanity.

    Will you join us Alan?

    ALAN

    Would you help me find and protect my

    father?

    INDRID

    Of course.

    ALAN

    I need to think about this.

    FADE TO:

    INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT

    Smolder is asleep in the chair and Scullery is asleep on the couch. Drake is sitting on

    the floor in front of the TV.

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    DRAKE

    Come on, come on, come on, come--

    The TV flickers on.

    DRAKE

    Yes!

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    ...so I shot him. I shot him good... and

    that's how I got out of a parking ticket.

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)He's watching us again.

    JENNY (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    I'm starting to have Suicidal thoughts. Since

    I'm not real why should I keep living. There's

    no point.

    DRAKE

    What's my Destiny, Stefan? I need to know.

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)

    If it's that important to you then we might as well

    talk face to face.

    DRAKE

    How are we suppose to do that?

    STEFAN (O. S.)

    (from TV)Just a second.

    The SOUND of a five successive clicks.

    SUDDENLY a flash of light.

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    Drake disappears.

    The SOUND of Drake yelling coming from the TV.

    DRAKE (O. S.)

    (from TV)I don't like this!

    CUT TO BLACK:

    ALAN

    I've thought it over and I've decided to

    join you.

    The SOUND of thunder.

    THE END