Marriage& FamilyPart Two

INTRODUCTION

As we continue on the topic of Marriage and Family, we will switch to the opposite sex – the man. Just as it is important for the man to choose the right woman, it is also important for the woman to choose the right man. Since the marriage was typically arranged in the Middle Eastern culture by the parents or the man himself, woman had little to no input into who she would marry.

Marriages in Bible times were not made for love, per se, but for the mutual benefit of both families involved. Jewish marriages were usually arranged by the fathers of the bride and groom. The bride’s and groom’s feelings on the marriage were not usually taken into consideration, and it was possible that the bride and groom had never met prior to the betrothal.

In Jewish culture the groom’s father paid a bride price to the bride’s family in order to negotiate the betrothal and, in essence, “purchase” the bride. The groom would also give a gift to the bride which became a part of the property the bride would bring into the marriage. These gifts were not always monetary; they may have been property or even services provided to the bride’s family. A good father was expected to share the gift with his daughter or give it over to her entirely.

Since the selection of a mate was either up to the parents or up to the man, women were not given guidance on how to select a man, however, we do not live in such a culture but the scriptures do speak to character of man and I believe they can guide women on how they select a lifetime husband.

1minister vanessa Ligon

I. THE SELECTION OF A HUSBAND

A. Ways to Learn About A Man1. How does he treat animals – does he kick the dog? This

reveals a lot about his character - Proverbs 12:10 2. Does he listen to the advice of others? That will tell you whether he is a fool, or a wise person - Proverbs 12:15

3. What type of company does he keep? You might be destroyed along with him - Proverbs 13:20

4. Is he quick-tempered? That reveals whether he is a person of understanding - Proverbs 14:29

5. How does he make money? You will suffer the consequences of his actions - Proverbs 15:27a. There are too many women who suffered greatly

because of the way their men earned a living. 6. Does he feel like he always has to put in his "two-cents"

on it? If he does, he lacks knowledge and a calm spirit - Proverbs 17:27-28

7. Does he have compassion for the poor? If he does, his prayers will be answered - Proverbs 21:13

Proverbs can guide a woman in deciding whom to marry.

B. Men to Definitely Avoid! 1. A womanizer/adulterer

a. He will destroy himself and hurt all those involved - Proverbs 6:27-29

2. A quick-tempered mana. You will become like him and destroy yourself as well

– Proverbs 22:24-25 3. A heavy drinker

a. Alcohol has destroyed many good men - Proverbs 23:29-30; compare Ephesians 5:18

Husbands and wives can become verbally and physically abusive after

Drinking. Again, it is better to be single and alone, than to be married

to the wrong person!

We will talk about alcohol in a later lesson.

CONCLUSION

Among the most important decisions we make in life will be these two: With whom shall I spend my life?

2minister vanessa Ligon

o This choice can be undone but it is not in the will of God for Christians and does have lasting emotional and spiritual affects.

Who shall be the father or mother of my children?o This choice cannot be undone once the children are born.

Some must endure some kind of relationship with the other parent for a lifetime.

From the earliest days of the Christian faith, Christians have honored marriage, or holy matrimony, as a divinely blessed, lifelong, monogamous union, between a man and a woman. "Christian marriage is a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God, intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture."1

If you are not the man or woman God called you to be, there is still time. If you have coupled up with the man or the woman that you possibly should not be with, pray, there is still hope inside that union. Be the man or woman that God wants you to be and perhaps the holiness in your life will serve as a living testimony and influence your mate to follow Christ.

1 Episcopal Book of Common Prayer (1979)3

minister vanessa Ligon