Volume 9 Issue 24
16
[ ] Today, we’re just wingin’ it S EAGULLN EWS We all know that FGCU is a fast-growing university. With higher amounts of students comes stress on programs, but more importantly, we simply do not have enough building space to accommodate all of the brilliant minds here. The answer? Simple. FGCU needs a space program to take us to the moon. It’s cost effective, efficient, and most importantly, it makes us feel like we’re better than we actually are. Guys, imagine all the chicks you’ll get when you can move a boulder. Girls, imagine all the attention you’ll get with your low-gravity boobs. I propose a fund to be opened so that FGCU students will be on the moon by Fall 2012. By that time, I hope basic infrastructure will be established. Academic buildings will be present, dorms will be built, and C3 can charge even more for moon- energy drinks. In accordance with FGCU policy, a certain percentage of the moon’s barren surface will be set aside for environmental protection. Plus, for the eco-minded students, we can just throw our trash at the sky and watch it float away. Who cares about space pollution? The grand daddy of it all is that we can finally have our football program. Just imagine all the aspects of regular football except on the moon. Floating cheerleaders and runaway helmets will only be the beginning of our dominance over whoever has enough balls to come to our moon stronghold and challenge us. Alas, there is always the issue of funding. How will this expansion be funded? I suggest selling off FGCU’s nuclear stockpile to desperate developing countries begging to make the world powers take them seriously. According to President Rickshaw, FGCU currently has about 147 nuclear bombs in storage in addition to 22 Inter Continental Ballistic Missiles (ICBMs), enough to start (and end) a war with most countries in the world. “We bought them off the Russian black market at wholesale price in ‘99,” said Rickshaw, adding “We never really had a use for them, but their value has gone up and you know what? This moon idea doesn’t sound so bad.” The moon solution, while not without its faults, is perhaps one of the most efficient ways to solve FGCU’s expansion problem. It only requires the support of YOU — the students who, time after time, have proven your wisdom in regards to many other issues at FGCU. So get the word out there — we want to go to the moon! “Here is a recipe of my own making: a soy burger infused with pineapple, passion fruit, and Gorgonzola cheese. Jillanne loves it!” said President Rickshaw upon opening the lid on his hibachi grill in the “Fend for Yourself Kitchen.” The new open-air kitchen is equipped with 100 hibachi grills, 50 solar stoves and every gadget imaginable. “It’s a battle we’re not going to fight anymore. We can’t decide what companies to bring in for dining, so we’re just having a free-for-al,.” said Dr. Kiszkiel of Conspiracies and Questioning Eyebrow studies. The library lawn has been transformed into an enourmous garden. From your basic carrots and strawberries, to romanescu and starfruit, Eagle Eden accommodates the perfect meal. Even soybeans! The recreation fields have become livestock areas for on-site butchering. (Courses are available Mondays from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.) “We are truly a self-sustaining university now. We’re growing crops, raising our own livestock — using only what we need,” said Dr. Mattingly of Irish traditions and Silly Limericks, overlooking the library lake rice patty. Not everyone is so thrilled. “Well, I like ... think it’s totally bad. Like … now I’ll have to cook or something. I so can’t do that. So, um, I don’t think its good. We should like not have food on FGCU,” said Airee Hed. But others are pumped. “This will be awesome! I’m an awesome cook! I’ll be able to make all these awesome dishes for my buds, and they will see how awesome I am! This idea is great!” said Beau Teafulmann. John Norris, a self- proclaimed “bee hunter,” has been hired to take care of the bee infestation on campus. Norris will be here during May moving the bees from populated areas to various hives he will place deep in the woods of FGCU. A rugged-looking man, Norris sports a thick, dark beard. He has one outfit that he wears daily. It includes a 1980s-style black leather vest and nothing underneath it but thick, dark chest hair. He wears just one black, leather fingerless glove on his left hand, a sterling silver bee pendant around his neck, a pair of form-fitting acid- wash jeans and brown leather pointy-toed boots with raised bee designs on them. When he’s on the job, though, he adds protective beekeeping headgear to his everyday garb, but still has a semi- exposed chest and completely exposed arms. “I’m a bee hunter for a reason, ya know; I was swarmed by bees when I was 18,” Norris said, clenching his left fist and staring off into the distance. “I had a thousand bees on me — some were even caught in my chest hair; I got stung 17 times.” Since then, he’s been catching and relocating problem bees. His company, Bee Catchin’ Inc., has been in business since spring 1993, around the same time “Walker, Texas Ranger” first aired, he said. “Those little buzzers ain’t gonna swarm no co-eds while I’m here,” he said, smirking, as he fondled the bee pendant hanging from his neck. Norris’ voice is a deep, bellowing one that commands attention — from bees, he said. “I have a special gift,” he said. He looked from side to side, then leaned forward and whispered: “When I talk, the bees listen.” Norris plans to direct the bees back into the woods of the campus using his voice. When asked about a relationship to the “Walker Texas Ranger” star, Chuck Norris, the bee hunter replied: “He’s a distant cousin.” Food grows on the lawn New sports try to stir Eagle spirit In an effort to capture elusive school spirit, FGCU has added a number of high- profile sports to its repertoire. Among them are: Quidditch, darts, monkey in the middle, duck duck goose, musical chairs, tether ball, badminton, cornhole, pin the tail on Azul, juggling, Shake Weight competitions, hungry hungry hippos and hide and seek. Athletic Director Ben Davanhall expects cape-wearing wizards on campus to be drawn to quidditch, a physical sport played in the sky on brooms. “Well we saw what Harry Potter did for Hogwarts, an institution that compares favorably as far as facilities to FGCU,” Davanhall said. “We only hope that Lord Voldermort won’t come in and rain on the parade.” Junior muggle Norm F. Finkelstein III feels he has the skills to catch the golden snitch and the girl of his dreams. “I’m really skilled with my broom and wand,” Finkelstein said. “I only hope to meet someone as gorgeous as Hermione Granger when I win the Tri-Wizard Tournament.” Davanhall believes bringing in childhood favorites like monkey in the middle, duck duck goose and tetherball will unleash the giddiness in all of us. “It will be the closest thing to recess that we can offer,” Davanhall said. “Also, unlike recess in middle school, there will be no fat, rosy-cheeked bully demanding students’ lunch money to distract from the fun.” Finkelstein, who weighs a cut 98 pounds and claims protein is irrelevant in packing on muscle, plans on walking on to the Shake Weight team. “I’ve gotten really jacked already by shaking the tiny weight in my dorm,” Finkelstein said. “My forearm veins are coming in.” FGCU students no longer need to be concerned about their safety on campus: SG senate passed a resolution Tuesday allowing those with semi-automatic and machine gun permits to bring their weapons on campus. “Due to several gun-related incidents on college campuses over the last decade, and due to the fact that the current Legislature directly denies Second Amendment rights to bear arms, we support this new amendment to allow those with concealed weapons permits and machine gun permits to bring their weapons on campus,” the bill reads. The addition of the machine gun permit stems from the Florida Legislature, which decided to include that licensing in a proposed amendment in an effort to not discriminate against any types of automatic firearms and to ensure utmost safety for students. “If we honor concealed weapons permits, we need to honor machine gun permits as well,” Sen. Nevers said. “Tension is already rising with the smoking ban, the record-breaking crowds of students attending basketball games and the arrival of Chick Fil-A in the fall. UPD is already in the process of obtaining machine guns in case bullets start flying. “We’re really just trying to keep up with Florida.’s standards,” said Dim Kiaz, FGCU Student Body president.
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Volume 9 Issue 24
Transcript of Volume 9 Issue 24
[ ]
Today, we’re just wingin’ itSEAGULL NEWS
We all know that FGCU is a fast-growing university. With higher amounts of students comes stress on programs, but more importantly, we simply do not have enough building space to accommodate all of the brilliant minds here.
The answer? Simple. FGCU needs a space program to take us to the moon. It’s cost effective, efficient, and most importantly, it makes us feel like we’re better than we actually are. Guys, imagine all the chicks you’ll get when you can move a boulder. Girls, imagine all the attention you’ll get with your low-gravity
boobs.I propose a fund to be opened
so that FGCU students will be on the moon by Fall 2012. By that time, I hope basic infrastructure will be established. Academic buildings will be present, dorms will be built, and C3 can charge even more for moon-energy drinks. In accordance with FGCU policy, a certain percentage of the moon’s barren surface will be set aside for environmental protection. Plus, for the eco-minded students, we can just throw our trash at the sky and watch it float away. Who cares about space pollution?
The grand daddy of it all is that we can finally have our football program. Just imagine
all the aspects of regular football except on the moon. Floating cheerleaders and runaway helmets will only be the beginning of our dominance over whoever has enough balls to come to our moon stronghold and challenge us.
Alas, there is always the issue of funding. How will this expansion be funded? I suggest selling off FGCU’s nuclear stockpile to desperate developing countries begging to make the world powers take them seriously. According to President Rickshaw, FGCU currently has about 147 nuclear bombs in storage in addition to 22 Inter Continental Ballistic Missiles (ICBMs), enough to
start (and end) a war with most countries in the world.
“We bought them off the Russian black market at wholesale price in ‘99,” said Rickshaw, adding “We never really had a use for them, but their value has gone up and you know what? This moon idea doesn’t sound so bad.”
The moon solution, while not without its faults, is perhaps one of the most efficient ways to solve FGCU’s expansion problem. It only requires the support of YOU — the students who, time after time, have proven your wisdom in regards to many other issues at FGCU. So get the word out there — we want to go to the moon!
“Here is a recipe of my own making: a soy burger infused with pineapple, passion fruit, and Gorgonzola cheese. Jillanne loves it!” said President Rickshaw upon opening the lid on his hibachi grill in the “Fend for Yourself Kitchen.”
The new open-air kitchen is equipped with 100 hibachi grills, 50 solar stoves and every gadget imaginable.
“It’s a battle we’re not going to fight anymore. We can’t decide what companies to bring in for dining, so we’re just having a free-for-al,.” said Dr. Kiszkiel of Conspiracies and Questioning Eyebrow studies.
The library lawn has been transformed into an enourmous garden. From your basic carrots and strawberries, to romanescu and starfruit, Eagle Eden accommodates the perfect meal. Even soybeans! The recreation fields have become livestock areas for on-site butchering. (Courses are available Mondays from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.)
“We are truly a self-sustaining university now. We’re growing crops, raising our own livestock — using only what we need,” said Dr. Mattingly of Irish traditions and Silly Limericks, overlooking the library lake rice patty.
Not everyone is so thrilled.“Well, I like ... think it’s totally bad. Like …
now I’ll have to cook or something. I so can’t do that. So, um, I don’t think its good. We should like not have food on FGCU,” said Airee Hed.
But others are pumped. “This will be awesome! I’m an awesome cook! I’ll be able to make all these awesome dishes for my buds, and they will see how awesome I am! This idea is great!” said Beau Teafulmann.
John Norris, a self-proclaimed “bee hunter,” has been hired to take care of the bee infestation on campus. Norris will be here during May moving the bees from populated areas to various hives he will place deep in the woods of FGCU.
A rugged-looking man, Norris sports a thick, dark beard. He has one outfit that he wears daily. It includes a 1980s-style black leather vest and nothing underneath it but thick, dark chest hair. He wears just one black, leather fingerless glove on his left hand, a sterling silver bee pendant around his neck, a pair of form-fitting acid-wash jeans and brown leather pointy-toed boots with raised bee designs on them. When he’s on the job, though, he adds protective beekeeping headgear to his everyday
garb, but still has a semi-exposed chest and completely exposed arms.
“I’m a bee hunter for a reason, ya know; I was swarmed by bees when I was
18,” Norris said, clenching his left fist and staring off into the distance. “I had a thousand bees on me — some were even caught in my chest hair; I got stung 17 times.”
Since then, he’s been catching and relocating problem bees. His company, Bee Catchin’ Inc., has been in business since spring 1993, around the same time “Walker, Texas Ranger” first aired, he said.
“Those little buzzers ain’t gonna swarm no co-eds while I’m here,” he said, smirking, as he fondled the bee pendant hanging from his neck.
Norris’ voice is a deep, bellowing one that commands attention — from bees, he said.
“I have a special gift,” he said. He looked from side to side, then leaned forward and whispered: “When I talk, the bees listen.”
Norris plans to direct the bees back into the woods of the campus using his voice.
When asked about a relationship to the “Walker Texas Ranger” star, Chuck Norris, the bee hunter replied: “He’s a distant cousin.”
Food grows on the lawn
New sports try to stirEagle spirit
In an effort to capture elusive school spirit, FGCU has added a number of high-profile sports to its repertoire.
Among them are: Quidditch, darts, monkey in the middle, duck duck goose, musical chairs, tether ball, badminton, cornhole, pin the tail on Azul, juggling, Shake Weight competitions, hungry hungry hippos and hide and seek.
Athletic Director Ben Davanhall expects cape-wearing wizards on campus to be drawn to quidditch, a physical sport played in the sky on brooms. “Well we saw what Harry Potter did for Hogwarts, an institution that compares favorably as far as facilities to FGCU,” Davanhall said. “We only hope that Lord Voldermort won’t come in and rain on the parade.”
Junior muggle Norm F. Finkelstein III feels he has the skills to catch the golden snitch and the girl of his dreams.
“I’m really skilled with my broom and wand,” Finkelstein said. “I only hope to meet someone as gorgeous as Hermione Granger when I win the Tri-Wizard Tournament.”
Davanhall believes bringing in childhood favorites like monkey in the middle, duck duck goose and tetherball will unleash the giddiness in all of us. “It will be the closest thing to recess that we can offer,” Davanhall said. “Also, unlike recess in middle school, there will be no fat, rosy-cheeked bully demanding students’ lunch money to distract from the fun.”
Finkelstein, who weighs a cut 98 pounds and claims protein is irrelevant in packing on muscle, plans on walking on to the Shake Weight team.
“I’ve gotten really jacked already by shaking the tiny weight in my dorm,” Finkelstein said. “My forearm veins are coming in.”
FGCU students no longer need to be concerned about their safety on campus: SG senate passed a resolution Tuesday allowing those with semi-automatic and machine gun permits to bring their weapons on campus.
“Due to several gun-related
incidents on college campuses over the last decade, and due to the fact that the current Legislature directly denies Second Amendment rights to bear arms, we support this new amendment to allow those with concealed weapons permits and machine gun permits to bring their weapons on campus,” the bill reads.
The addition of the machine
gun permit stems from the Florida Legislature, which decided to include that licensing in a proposed amendment in an effort to not discriminate against any types of automatic firearms and to ensure utmost safety for students.
“If we honor concealed weapons permits, we need to honor machine gun permits as well,” Sen. Nevers said.
“Tension is already rising with the smoking ban, the record-breaking crowds of students attending basketball games and the arrival of Chick Fil-A in the fall. UPD is already in the process of obtaining machine guns in case bullets start flying.
“We’re really just trying to keep up with Florida.’s standards,” said Dim Kiaz, FGCU Student Body president.
Vigorously defending American attacks in Libya, President Barack Obama declared Monday night that the United States intervened to prevent a slaughter of civilians that would have stained the world’s conscience and “been a betrayal of who we are” as Americans. Yet he ruled out targeting Moammar Gadhafi, warning that trying to oust him militarily would be a mistake as costly as the war in Iraq.
Obama announced that NATO would take command over the entire Libya operation on Wednesday, keeping his pledge to get the U.S. out of the lead fast — but offering no estimate on when the conflict might end and
no details about its costs despite demands for those answers from lawmakers.
He declined to label the U.S.-led military campaign as a “war,” but made an expansive case for why he believed it was in the national interest of the United States and allies to use force.
In blunt terms, Obama said the U.S.-led response had stopped Gadhafi’s advances and halted a slaughter that could have shaken the stability of an entire region. Obama cast the intervention in Libya as imperative to keep Gadhafi from killing those rebelling against him and to prevent a refugee crisis that would drive Libyans into Egypt and Tunisia, two countries emerging from their own uprisings.
“To brush aside America’s
responsibility as a leader and our responsibilities to our fellow human beings under such circumstances would have been a betrayal of who we are,” Obama said. He spoke in a televised address to the nation, delivered in front of a respectful audience of military members and diplomats.
“Some nations may be able to turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries. The United States of America is different,” Obama said. “And as president, I refused to wait for the images of slaughter and mass graves before taking action.”
Obama spoke as, in Libya, rebel forces bore down Monday on Gadhafi with the help of airstrikes by the U.S.-led forces. His speech was his most aggressive attempt to answer the questions mounting
from Republican critics, his own party and war-weary Americans — chiefly, why the U.S. was immersed in war in another Muslim nation.
So far, the nation is split about Obama’s leadership on Libya.
In essence, Obama, the Nobel Prize winner for peace, made his case for war. He spoke of justifiable intervention in times when the United States, as the world’s most powerful nation, must step in to help.
“In such cases,” Obama said, “we should not be afraid to act.”
NATIONAL
EVENTS
POLICE BEATSERVICE LEARNING
BRIEFS
Rookery Bay: Join their Outreach Team by tabling on April 2 from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. for the first Picayune Strand State Forest Day. Many other volunteer opportunities available. Contact Donna Young at [email protected] or call 239-417-6310 x412.
Calusa Nature Center & Planetarium: Help needed for servers, greeters and cleanup crew for Spring Fling on April 9 from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. Wear white shirt and black slacks. Contact Melinda Russek at [email protected] or 239-275-3435 x24.
The YMCA: Volunteers needed for its annual Healthy Kids Day event on April 16 from 9 a.m.-noon at Tanglewood Elementary. Assist with vendor booths, face painting, or grilling hot dogs. Also, flag football is starting up and need 2-3 hour/week commitment. Contact Lisa Weaver at 239-275-9622 or [email protected].
Bailey-Matthews Shell Museum: Volunteers needed for a fundraiser on April 16 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Causeway tolls reimbursed. Contact Diane Thomas at 239-395-2233.
American Heart Association: Volunteers needed on April 29 and 30 for the Lee and Collier County Heart Ball at the Hyatt Regency Coconut Point. Contact Jennifer Lahaie at [email protected] or 239-229-7611.
CREW Land & Water Trust: Volunteers needed to help with Earth Day and Let’s G.O. (Get Outside). Design intergenerational outdoor activities. Organize/lead CREW
hikes. Contact Deb Dorsett Hanson at [email protected] or 239-657-2253 or cell 239-229-1088.
Alliance for the Arts: Models needed. Be a portrait model on Monday evening or Saturday morning. Contact Lydia Black at 239-939-2787.
Naples Equestrian Challenge: Volunteers needed to help with sidewalking, groom and tacking, leading. Will train; no horse experience necessary. Missy Saracino at [email protected] or call 239-596-2988.
The Ladybug Project: Looking for individuals to help with public relations, event planning, and general office. More opportunities on their website www.theladybugproject.com or Facebook page. Email [email protected].
Kowiachobee Animal Preserve: Volunteers needed in various areas, including animal care, educational, fundraising, grant writing, event planning, and habitat design and construction. Call 239-352-5387. Get Colloquium hours.
The Shelter for Abused Women and Children: Creole-speaking volunteer needed for translations. Four-day training course. Classes are in May. It is very comprehensive and completely free. Contact Rebecca Grabau at [email protected] or 239-775-3862.
Information is provided by the Service Learning department. All opportunities are pre-approved. You can find more opportunities on Facebook at “FGCU Service Learning.”
Professional
Ongoing opportunities
Events
Red Bull Tum Tum Pa: Housing is teaming with the popular energy drink company to host a drumming event on April 6 at AB3 210. Students use school supplies to make a drum beat for 60 seconds to win prizes. Participant check-in is at 7 p.m. and the event begins at 8 p.m. For more information, visit redbulltumtumpa.com or contact Ryan Burke at [email protected].
Community Engagement Day: The Office of Service-Learning and Civic Engagement will host a showcase for 200 students’ projects on April 15 from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Alico Arena. For more information, contact Nancy Eckert at 239-590-7019 or visit “FGCU Service-Learning” on Facebook.
Secure Shred Day: FGCU vendor Secure On-Site Shredding will be on campus April 26 from 2-4 p.m. in the bus loop for students, faculty and staff to shred any unwanted data for free. For more information, contact Mark Batties V at [email protected] or 239-590-1426.
Japan Earthquake & Tsunami Relief Charity Concert: Southwest Florida Symphony will be hosting a classic and pop music concert, “Shall We Dance?” for Japan on April 3 at 7 p.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Fort Myers (13411 Shire Lane). It will be $25 per ticket.
If you would like to submit an event, please e-mail [email protected]
Wednesday, March 23 at 8:30 p.m.: Officers responded to a panic alarm activated in North Lake Village. Once on scene, officers found a 19-year-old female unconscious but breathing at the base of the stairs. Victim was transported by EMS to Gulf Coast Hospital.
Thursday, March 24 at 9:42 p.m.: A vehicle was stopped for going 53 in a posted 35 zone. Once pulled over, the officer noticed the driver to be smoking a cigarette and two sealed bottles of alcohol were spotted in the back seat. Driver was extremely ar-gumentative and insisted on seeing the radar unit. The driver was then asked to exit the vehicle. Officer no-ticed the smell of alcohol on breath so a field sobriety test was con-ducted and passed. The driver was allowed to depart and was issued a speeding ticket.
Friday, March 25 at 3:44 a.m.: During routine patrol, an officer discovered a subject to be lying on the ground in the parking lot area of Manatee Hall and in possession of an alcoholic beverage under 21 years of age. Sub-ject driver’s license was suspended and was confiscated at the scene. Subject was issued a warning for possession under 21.
Friday, March 25 at 4:49 a.m.: A traffic stop was initiated for driving the wrong way. Once pulled over, of-ficer noticed several banners in the vehicle along with a newspaper dis-penser. Driver admitted that she and
the passenger had stolen the items. The items included an Eagle News dispenser, Einstein Bagels ban-ner, Commencement banner, and a March 30 event banner from the Student Union. Incident was turned over to housing for further action.
Saturday, March 26 at 12:33 p.m.: An individual requested assistance due to not being able to get out of his dorm room. When officers ar-rived on scene, a chain from the outside stairwell had been attached to the door. The chain was removed and the incident was turned over to housing.
Sunday, March 27 at 12:26 a.m.: A drug search was conducted and 25 grams of marijuana was found in a cabinet and tested positive. Subject claimed ownership of it and ad-ditional traces of marijuana were found in the resident’s room.
Sunday, March 27 at 2:33 a.m.: Com-plainant stated that a subject had a pipe and was picking a fight on the recreation field. Subject was put un-der “Citizens” arrest for his safety and the safety of others. Subject was found to be a minor in possession and the issue was turned over to the subject’s parents.
The Police Beat is compiled by Eagle News staff from public logs available at the University Police Department. Police Beat is not associated with the UPD. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty by a court of law.
NEWS
A2 NEWS EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EDITOR: SAMANTHA LEAGUE NEWS!EAGLENEWS.ORG
CONTACT:
MISSION STATEMENT:
Eagle News, the student media group at Florida Gulf Coast University, represents the diverse voices on campus with fairness. We select content for our publication and our website that is relevant to the student body, faculty and staff. Members are committed to reporting with accuracy and truth. Our purpose is to encourage conversations about issues that concern the on-campus community. Eagle News views every culture with equal respect and believes every person must be treated with dignity.
ABOUT US:
Eagle News, founded in 1997, is the student newspaper at Florida Gulf Coast University. The newspaper is the only student produced publication on campus and is entirely student run. Eagle News is published weekly during the fall and spring semesters and monthly in the summer, with the exception of holiday breaks and examination periods. The print edition is free to students and can be found on campus and in the community at Gulf Coast Town Center, Germain Arena and Miromar Outlets.
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Senior staff writers
Obama justifies action in Libya during address to nation
[ ]
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Find out on www.eaglenews.orgin the multimedia section
Get ready to see new Greek letters printed across T-shirts. FGCU Greek Life is expanding.
Lambda Chi Alpha will be the newest fraternity in the fall. The Lambda Chi Alpha International Fraternity is “looking forward to establishing a colony” here at FGCU, according to a press release.
An informational session will be held at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, March 31 in Sugden 110. The Director of Chapter Services and another Lambda Chi Alpha staff member will be there.
“It is an opportunity for new members to come and
hear about Lambda Chi Alpha,” said Melissa Sharp, fraternity and sorority life coordinator at FGCU.
Lambda Chi Alpha was founded in 1909 and is part of the Interfraternity Council. The organization will be the seventh IFC chapter at FGCU.
IFC opened for expansion in spring 2010. The university received 15 applications from national fraternities. Lambda Chi Alpha presented on campus last fall and was selected by the Greek Life expansion committee to be the newest IFC chapter, after approval from President Bradshaw and Mike Rollo, vice president of student affairs.
According to Tad Lichtenauer, director of
communications at Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity, there are more than 400 Lambda Chi Alpha alumni in the Fort Myers area.
“It is critical for us that we have alumni that are wiling to give their time and talent to help advise new members,”
Lichtenauer said. “Alumni can mentor the undergraduates as they grow and develop the colony.”
According to its webpage , Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity is one of the largest men’s general fraternities in North America with more than 270,000 initiated members and nearly 200 active chapters, including University of Central Florida, University of Florida and University of Miami.
“I am very excited to add Lambda Chi Alpha to our community. They are a strong national organization and I think they will be a very good fit at FGCU,” Sharp said.
Exact dates for IFC recruitment are not yet available. Although an
estimated number of members for the initial Lambda Chi Alpha chapter at FGCU are not available, Sharp believes that they will stay close to the size of other chapters at FGCU after formal fall recruitment.
Jared Knotts is a familiar sight to see walking along FGCU’s two main entrance roads three days a week just as the sun comes up. He’s been doing it for two years and he wears a protective vest to ensure he doesn’t become one of his own statistics.
The senior biology major is looking for road kill.
Knotts’ data indicates 18 vertebrates such as mammals, birds, reptiles and amphibians are being killed each day on the two entrance roads: FGCU Boulevard and FGCU Lake Parkway West.
Also according to Knotts’ data, roughly 2,000 frogs and toads, 400 snakes and one walking catfish were killed last year.
But Knotts says this is probably an underestimate because he only walks his four-mile survey route three consecutive days a week.
The three consecutive days are chosen at random through a number generator. The number generator chooses the first day of the week Knotts will walk his route and the next two days follow suit.
Knotts has seen roughly 5,000 road-kill carcasses in two years and he admits he sometimes still gets a little grossed out.
Knotts began the project in May of 2009 after taking Phillip Allman’s Herpetology course, where he witnessed the significant amount of road kill documented during a class project.
He started his road-kill survey as an independent study in the summer of 2009 and he doesn’t plan on stopping any time soon.
Knotts and Allman, his faculty adviser on the project from the department of biological sciences, both agree this is very important work and wish to share it with the FGCU community.
NEW LEADERSHIP
ONLINE DOCUMENTSCheck out www.eaglenews.orgto read the full press release
ONLINECheck out www.eaglenews.orgto see photos from Spirit Day and SG elections results. Also online: A full list of elected senators and a video of the election results announcement.
EN
ROAD KILL
2,000Frogs killed by cars last year at FGCU
400Snakes killed by cars last year
18Number of animals being killed a day by cars on FGCU property
A4 NEWS EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EDITOR: SAMANTHA LEAGUE NEWS!EAGLENEWS.ORG
Most students probably have at least one or two pieces of clothing in their closet that hardly, if ever, get worn.
Whether it was a well-intended gift that just does not match your style or an impulse buy that was later regretted, your unwanted clothes can now benefit the community through a clothing drive currently being conducted on campus.
The clothing drive, titled “Carisa’s Closet,” is being held in honor of FGCU student Carisa Herald, who died in a car accident in January.
Shannon Kamnik, a member of Kappa Delta, helped organize the event through coordination with Herald‘s sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha.
“Herald and I both cleaned out our closets over winter break. I had mentioned (to a friend) that I wanted to start a clothing drive.
“She told me that Herald was doing the same thing, so we joined forces and were planning on making it a KD/ZTA clothing drive event in order to promote friendship among sororities and have our sisters get to know each other better,” Kamnik said.
Kamnik says that on the Sunday before Herald passed away, the two visited all of the men’s chapters to spread the word about the clothing drive and ask them to contribute.
“After Herald passed away, I contacted Ashley Adams of ZTA and asked if she would help me continue the clothing drive in Herald’s honor. We decided to call it ‘Carisa’s Closet.’
We plan on making it even bigger than Herald and I had hoped,” said Kamnik.
Clothes will continue to be collected through April 17 at tables in the Student Breezeway. Gently used clothes of any size or gender, as well as shoes, will be accepted.
All of the clothes collected will be donated to local domestic abuse shelters.
Kamnik says that students can accomplish four things by donating to Carisa’s Closet: they can clean out their own closets and get rid of clothes they will not wear, aid women and children who will benefit greatly from the clothes, honor Herald’s memory, and finally work together toward a common campus cause.
“Herald always looked for ways to unite everybody; she had friends in every organization and wanted everyone to see the goodness in every sorority, fraternity, or other group,” Ashley Adams said.
Pink ribbons and bows will be handed out during tabling for the event in honor of Herald.
Anita Zavala, a freshman who has not yet declared her major, believes that this event is a positive opportunity for all students to support a good cause.
“I’m not involved in a sorority or anything, but I know that I have clothes in my closet that I might never wear again … I think most students do.
“They have an easy chance to help out here, and they get the benefit of creating some extra closet space,” Zavala said.
CHARITY
Students represented FGCU in the annual “Rally for Tally” event last week in Tallahassee. Nineteen FGCU students participated, including outgoing student body President Kim Diaz and Vice President Anthony Graziani.
“The purpose of Rally in Tally is to work with state and local government officials to lobby a legislative agenda formed with students in mind,” said Danielle Alvarez, Student Government director of governmental relations.
The most current issue, and main reason for Rally in Tally, was to “lobby legislation to include textbooks in the tax-exemption holiday … ease financial burdens of the upcoming school year for students and parents,” Alvarez said.
The inclusion of textbooks in last year’s tax-exempt holiday was a success for both the program and students. The problem arose when current legislation did not include textbooks for the upcoming tax-exempt holiday.
“FGCU respectfully requested that textbooks up to $300 be included in this year’s tax holiday to allow for students on the collegiate level to benefit from the tax holiday,” Alvarez said.
The Rally in Tally was not the first time FGCU students were able to speak with elected officials to discuss their legislature priorities.
“President Diaz, Vice President Graziani and myself had spoken at local delegation meetings and met with elected officials in their district offices leading up to the trip. Once in Tallahassee, however, the students took over and really did an outstanding job,” Alvarez said.
On Tuesday morning, the students, who were assigned into small groups, headed to Florida’s Capitol building to meet with their assigned senators and representatives.
“During our meetings we presented our legislation and explained why it would be so beneficial to students if our legislation were to be passed,” said Logan Cooney, SG governmental relations coordinator.
According to Cooney, 12:30 was
when the actual, Rally in Tally event took place. Student body presidents spoke representing the Florida Student Association (FSA) and Chancellor Frank Brogan gave a speech explaining how the Board of Governors is still fighting for higher education.
The 19 students selected to participate and represent FGCU in the Rally in Tally had to go through an application process in which they had to meet a GPA requirement and pass a conduct clearance in order to represent FGCU. Students also had to attend a mandatory lobbying workshop, according to Alvarez.
Once all requirements were met, each student was able to fully participate.
“Overall, the trip was a huge success and we got a lot of positive feedback from the elected officials we met with,” Cooney said.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EAGLE NEWS NEWS A5WWW.EAGLENEWS.ORG
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Students who commute to FGCU have likely been quagmired by the construction project to widen U.S. 41 to six lanes from San Carlos Boulevard to Corkscrew Road.
In the past couple of weeks, the project has produced major delays to commuters. There have been times when traffic has been reduced to one lane in each direction, which usually creates
considerable delays in both direction. Traffic also backs up for a considerable distance on either side of the project as well.
Jessica DeMattia, a senior majoring in communication, commutes to FGCU from Bonita Springs four times a week. Prior to construction, DeMattia would take U.S. 41 to Estero Parkway on her commute to FGCU.
“The Estero Parkway overpass really made my commute easier a couple of years ago. Now, with all of the construction delays on 41,
I will usually take Coconut Road to Three Oaks to get around the traffic. It’s very inconvenient,” DeMattia said.
The project isn’t only affecting students and other commuters, but also businesses along the roadway.
“They’re coning off a lot of sections of the road on 41, and they are shutting down to one lane, and I think it boils down that people just don’t want to sit there in traffic,” Jim Ridinger told ABC7 News. Ridinger is the owner of Greenway Landscape Supply, located along
the corridor.Right now, crews are in the
process of clearing out the median in order to construct temporary lanes that traffic will be routed onto while the new permanent lanes are constructed. The speed limit has also been temporarily lowered to 40 mph.
Debbie Tower, spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Transportation, advises all drivers to be cautious in the area.
“Throughout construction, drivers must pay attention, watch
their speed, and not tailgate,” Tower said in an e-mail.
The project began in January and is scheduled to be completed in the summer of 2013.
In addition to widening the road, the project will include bicycle lanes and new sidewalks on both sides of the road.
The project’s total cost is about $14.2 million and it is the last stretch of U.S. 41 between Fort Myers and Naples that has not been widened to six lanes.
ONLINE ARTICLECheck out www.eaglenews.org to read more about the tax-free textbook legislation.
EN
Leave your shoes at home next Tuesday, April 5 and bring on the stinky feet.
TOMS Shoes urges everyone to go barefoot and participate in One Day Without Shoes to raise awareness for the millions of children around the world who do not have access to a new pair of shoes.
Last year, in 2010, over 16,000 events were held worldwide and over 250,000 people went without shoes for one day, according to TOMS website, www.toms.com.
According to One Day Without Shoes’ Facebook page, “This is the day we take off our shoes to raise awareness of the impact a pair of shoes can have on a child’s life.”
The admin of the group, Kyle Abentroth, could not be reached for comment.
However, a Facebook user who participated in the event last year, Richard Sorensen, thinks this is a good cause because he feels like being in someone else’s shoes for one day isn’t that bad.
“I know there are many people
out there who take the privileges they have for granted,” Sorensen said.
In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to food, clean water and to seek medical help.
The strain these children are putting on their feet can lead to sores and possibly, a serious infection, according to TOMS Shoes.
“We’re doing this because we
want to raise awareness for the millions of people who don’t have a choice,” said TOMS Shoes.
In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil. Podoconiosis is 100 percent preventable with basic foot hygiene and wearing shoes, according to TOMS Shoes.
However, these children do not
have that option. And often times, children cannot attend school barefoot.
As students at FGCU, we have the privilege of wearing shoes and attending school but there may be one potential danger: will FGCU allow students to go without shoes on this very special day?
Sorensen, a sophomore at Largo High School, said his school did not allow him to go barefoot all day.
“I made it to fifth period before
my teacher told me that I would be kicked off of campus if I did not put my shoes back on,” Sorensen said. “I found this very intolerable but hey, what are ‘ya going to do?”
Turns out, we really do have more freedom in college than we did in high school.
Chief Steven Moore, the Director of Public Safety, and Dr. James Rollo, the Vice President of Student Affairs, both agree that while students may or may not give up shoes for this special day, it is their choice and at their discretion to do so.
“It’s a case by case basis,” Chief Moore said.
However, there will be some restrictions.
Shoes are required during science labs to protect from broken glass, chemical spills, etc. Shoes are required on the recreational fields to protect from potential injury and are also required at the professor’s discretion.
“A lot of people just decide not to wear shoes,” Dr. Rollo said. “Sometimes it’s their personal preference and sometimes they just want to see if they can get away with it.”
A6 NEWS EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EDITOR: SAMANTHA LEAGUE NEWS!EAGLENEWS.ORG
“This rate of road kill mortality at FGCU surpasses all studies in the literature with the exception of a survey on U.S. 441 across Paynes Prairie near Gainesville,” Allman said. “The Paynes Prairie study led to renovations of the highway that essentially eliminated the road kill.”
“The University of Florida constructed wildlife tunnels under the highway, which reduced the amount of road kill by 90 percent,” Knotts said.
Knotts wants to share his findings with the university in the hopes of similarly reducing the amount of road kill at FGCU.
Knotts thinks the university can save more turtles if it redesigns the curves along the side of the road, which are funneling turtles and other vertebrate into the storm drains.
Allman thinks the curves should be eliminated altogether.
“I think the curbs on the roads need to be removed,” Allman said. “The curbs serve as traps for turtles, toads and even small snakes that drop into the road.”
These vertebrates typically cannot crawl back over the curb so their instinct is to crawl along the curb until there is an exit. Unfortunately, the only exits on the entrance roads are the storm drains, according to Dr. Allman.
“Once they are in the storm drains, there is no escaping and no chance of returning to the surface,” Allman said.
Allman also believes students as well as wildlife would benefit from a lower speed limit of 25 mph along the two main entrance roads. The slower traffic l would be much safer for the university
community and their wildlife counterparts.
Knotts hopes to approach the university at the end of the semester after he analyzes more data.
Allman believes that education can also be a powerful tool and hopes that if the FGCU community becomes more aware of this significant mortality, the university community could all try to be more observant on these roads and more aware when our wildlife attempt to cross.
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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Mar 30 05:21:38 2011 GMT. Enjoy!
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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Wed Mar 30 05:21:56 2011 GMT. Enjoy!
EASY MEDIUM
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(415):When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced “house keep-ing”
(603):No one intentionally makes bad deci-sions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It’s all relative
(239):Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
(804):If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
tfln
At Relay for Life: Male, Brunette
At Relay for Life this past weekend you were a part of the Miss Relay talent per-formance for your friend that was actu-ally participating in the competition(and won). You’re a Kappa Sigma and were the one in the middle and the only one wear-ing a red shirt. You’re really cute and I’d love to get to know you!
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Puzzle 1 (Easy, difficulty rating 0.40)
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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Tue Mar 22 23:11:33 2011 GMT. Enjoy!
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Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.52)
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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Tue Mar 22 23:11:40 2011 GMT. Enjoy!
Puzzle 1 (Hard, difficulty rating 0.62)
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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Tue Mar 22 23:11:44 2011 GMT. Enjoy!
Arts Lifestylewww.eaglenews.org
&
B2 A/L EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EDITOR: KATIE SARTORIS ENTERTAINMENT!EAGLENEWS.ORG
On March 23, 2011, after three years of secrecy, publisher Random House announced the title, cover and release date of the last installment in Christopher Paolini’s wildly popular Inheritance Cycle.
Called ‘Inheritance’, the book features a green dragon facing right, and will be released in hardback on November 8, 2011, when 2.5 million copies will hit bookstore shelves.
The list price for the book is $27.99.
Sequel to the Inheritance Cycle’s third installment, ‘Brisingr’, which sold 550,000 copies on
its release day, ‘Inheritance’ is expected to be equally, if not more popular than its predecessor.
The Inheritance Cycle, featuring ‘Eragon’, ‘Eldest’, ‘Brisingr’, and ‘Inheritance’, set in the fictitious land of Alagaësia, tells the story of Eragon, a young peasant who discovers a dragon egg.
After his egg hatches, Eragon soon finds he is the last of the Dragon Riders, a legendary group that once justly ruled the kingdom before they were betrayed by one of their own, Galbatorix.
Seizing the throne of Alagaësia, Galbatorix rules the land with an iron fist, a cold-blooded dictator who seeks to conquer Death itself.
Along with his dragon, Saphira,
Eragon must learn how to defeat Galbatorix with the help of his friends and mentors, learning shocking secrets about himself along the way.
Overall, the Inheritance Cycle has sold more than 20 million copies worldwide.
In 2006, “Eragon”, based on the first Inheritance Cycle book of the same name, was released by 20th Century Fox.
According to Wikipedia, the film garnered approximately $75 million at the box office in the U.S., and $249 million worldwide, making it the 13th highest grossing fantasy-live action film within the United States.
Last book of famed series revealed
OpinionB4 www.eaglenews.org
EN
Cornfields: the devil stalks you
I read every email that I receive, even some of the junkie spam ones. Over the past week I have received a few that really disturb me. One was about a group of women in Africa that petitioned their government to stop raping women to “cure” them of lesbianism. Another was a spam add for a “treatment” facility that could eradicate gay tendencies. Homosexuality is not something that can be “treated” like the common cold. The debate in the scientific community is about just that fact. Many experts are starting to think that someone being gay is a natural phenomenon comparable to being left handed; there is no way to know or change it. Others think that it is an illness that can be “conditioned” out of someone. I say live and let live. Why should we worry ourselves about the sexual orientation of the person that sits next to us on the bus, in class, or across the world? Why should we care what anyone does, consensually, with another adult in their private space? Why should I care that 2 people who really love one another and want to commit to that relationship legally can do that? Other than to say that they can, I don’t. I don’t judge people based on any of these factors, and you shouldn’t either. Every year more and more lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) community members succumb to the ridicule and bullying. Suicide rates among LGBTQ youths are on the rise and it can all boil down to the need for acceptance. Does a person need to lie about the fact that they are gay? No, they shouldn’t have to. Do you lie about being straight? Do you lie about having had premarital sex? No, I doubt you do. April 1-3, FGCU will host the Florida Collegiate Pride Conference. This conference will
bring together students from all over the state to discuss the trials and tribulations that affect their community, and I am proud to be listed among the presenters. The LGBTQ community is in the midst of similar struggles of minority groups from throughout history, denied rights, exclusion from services, and the focus of hate crimes. The more unified they become the more stereotypes they can overcome. FCPC will, in addition to the QPR training C.A.R.E.S. will provide, have a myriad of classes that discuss heterosexism in education, accepting yourself, writing about the gay experience, and many more workshops. All of these are meant to help solidify a community and educate a group that feels segregated. These workshops can help the 19 year old girl who has faced a form of discrimination that can lead to her taking her own life. College is about experimentation and horizon expanding experiences. Use this time wisely to educate yourself about the culture of others, maybe even immerse yourself in that culture. If you find it’s not for you, then ok, but just keep in mind it is for others and not your place to say otherwise.
Mandie is a junior, majoring in secondary education. She has appeared in the Southeast Review Online and “UnspOILed: Writers Speak for Florida’s Coast.” Mandie sits on the board of directors for C.A.R.E.S. Suicide Prevention. She is married with two children.
FGCU to host pride conference this weekendYou can’t hurry love
“Slow down, you’re movin’ too fast. You’ve got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobble stones. Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.”
Ah Simon and Garfunkel, your mellow, folk-rock tones and lyrical poetry have found
their way onto many a mix tape and inspired the work of such artists as Conor Oberst and Hellogoodbye. Given the popularity of their work, one would think
we’d heed the messages and undertones, but we are still romantically retarded.
We sometimes have a tendency to rush into a good thing, and move too fast. If we are happy and get excited with the direction things are going with a new flame, this can be very easy to do.
This is spoken as someone who has made the terrible mistake of becoming too wrapped up in the possibilities of a new relationship. It backfires if the other person is not ready to be exclusive. Adding on a feeling of overwhelming pressure to officially call it a duo can send a potential lover running for the hills. No one wants to let someone else down- especially if they like them, when they’re not yet sure where this new found connection is going. But the sense of being trapped in a situation you’re unsure of is not desirable either.
JoAnn White, a relationship expert at Temple University was quoted by Web MD saying, “People want to rush into a relationship and they want it all to work out right away. They become very concerned if the other person doesn’t call them quickly or doesn’t want to see them with increasing frequency.” In other words, we freak out.
You know you like them, but do they like you? How can you tell? What hoops can you make them jump through to prove it? If they agree to call this an exclusive relationship, that provides all the bearing you need. Right? Not quite. If you want to know how they feel about you, consider how often you two are communicating. I was talking to this guys at least once an hour on average, and I still wasn’t sure. I still had to push it. You can only
push someone so far before you get some resistance. Unless you’re after an amoeba- and they’re pretty boring. (Sorry biology majors.)
If someone is communicating with you regularly, you’re obviously on their mind. Chill out. If your crush has stated that they want to go slow, or that they don’t want to rush things listen to them. I cannot stress this enough. If you’re really into the person, wait it out. Do them the courtesy of fulfilling their wishes. It may be difficult at times, and it will take will power, but the end prize is worth it. As the saying goes, good things come to those who wait. And don’t forget, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
While they are figuring things out, you can be cultivating yourself for a healthy relationship. Keep in mind however, you don’t want to wait for someone you’ll never have. My suggestions are only for if you are certain that a relationship is possible and even inevitable. Also, be attentive to their actions and signals. If you think there is someone else on the scene, or if you’re just being strung along, cut the cord before it becomes too painful. Human bonds are extremely powerful— they are our life force.
Sure, having sex too soon in a relationship can complicate and damage things, but in some circumstances, one person not feeling the same emotional depth as the other can have harmful effects. The thing is, you’re not supposed to enter a relationship fully in love. Amore builds with time and experience. The longer people are together, they usually fall deeper in love due to what they weather together. They learn about each other, and come to grow comfortable with the little habits- cute and annoying.
The good news is, someone who puts sex off and agrees to wait if you suggest it may be less likely to use you as a sex glove or a human vibrator. All cards need to be on the table with sex as everyone looks at the topic differently. If you truly are interested in someone, you want to take every precaution to not ruin a good thing.
Make your expectations and limitations known up front when beginning any new relationship. Respect your sweetie’s space, and move at the same pace. You may think you’re old, but you have your whole life to rush. Take love slow. Face it, it’s scary enough.
I am here to tell you all that the Devil lives in
corn fields. I’ll wait. Are you finished laughing yet? I’ll wait some more.
Now, if you don’t believe me, just let me explain. I’ll start in Hollywood. Since everything in the movies is real, we can note that they agree with me.
Some of the most horrifying movies ever made revolve around the
evil that lives in corn fields. Children of the Corn (1-666) all center around evil children and, of course, their corn fields. If you have never seen these movies, I will paraphrase without spoiling; children become possessed by the devil and kill all adults and take up refuge in, where else, corn fields.
Other great profits delivered from the silver screen include Signs (creepy evil aliens), The Stand , Sleepy Hollow, Scarecrow, Twister, Field of Dreams (this field was haunted), and even The Wizard of Oz (witches and flying monkeys, hello) . Movies have been warning us for years to steer clear of corn fields, but do we ever listen?
Just in case people do take heed and avoid actually walking in corn fields, the Devil conspires with industry to make sure corn still reaches its targets. It’s in everything we eat,
high fructose corn syrup, starches, and other ingredients. Corn subsidies and the vegetable/grain’s filling nature makes it a great additive while systematically making us obese and diabetic. Killing us slowly, unlike the fate dealt if we actually enter the corn fields.
I have passed this idea on to you as I have with my children. Next time you see one of them, ask where the Devil lives. They won’t answer hell— mainly because they aren’t allowed to say hell, but instead they will tell you a corn field.
Many years ago my son’s class went on a field trip to an arcade— that’s what I signed the slip for, anyway. My phone rang at work and on the other end a hysterical little boy crying because when he got there he found out the class was to go through a corn labyrinth. His fear overwhelmed him, along with concern for his classmates, but not so much his teacher.
I had to drive to the arcade and rescue him from the maze. As we drove away we watched the last kid from his class enter. On Monday the entire class was taken with the “flu”, including the teacher, and we moved before any of them came back, if they ever did…
Mandie is a junior, majoring in secondary education. She has appeared in the Southeast Review Online and “UnspOILed: Writers Speak for Florida’s Coast.” Mandie sits on the board of directors for C.A.R.E.S. Suicide Prevention. She is married with two children.
April fool’s pranks from a victim’s perspective
April 1, 2011, will be a day to dread. There are two groups of people this time of year: the pranksters and the victims. I fall under the victim category, probably because I’m gullible or just don’t have the same courage to prank someone else. The pranksters find people like me an easy target, and I am so glad I can be the person you all try to pull your lame attempts at humor on. Humor has varied definitions, so what the prankster will find absolutely knee slapping funny, the victim may not. Let us say there is a scenario where a prankster tries to pretend to be a professor and calls one of the hardest working kids in class to let them know they have failed the class and therefore don’t need to bother showing up to class. How on earth is that even funny? Especially if a kid is at school on scholarships and, in order to keep said scholarships, has to have the right grades. Yeah, this is such a
hilarious joke. Comedy should not involve other people’s feelings. It should not involve telling a girl the guy she has a crush on likes her a lot when he doesn’t. It should not involve physical harm either. What if someone has an allergic reaction to the super glue you have put all over their desk? Yeah, I hope you have a real good laugh as they are on their way to the hospital. True stories. I am not trying to make April fool’s day humorless. I’m just trying to make it a little bit safer for those kids, who like myself, have been the victims of mindless jokes. Sarcastic humor— that’s funny. Puns are funny. Physically harming, humiliation, and emotional scaring is not. So, to the all victims out there, this one is for you.
Chelsea is a freshman, majoring in elementary education. She believes writing is a true and creative way of expression. Chelsea loves being opinionated and respects others who share this passion.
ARPIL FOOL’S COMMENTARY
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EAGLE NEWS OPINION B5EDITOR: SARA GOTTWALLES OPINION!EAGLENEWS.ORG
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I was once asked by a respected professor of mine, “Why does a voter choose who they choose?” Some may say because they liked the candidate’s platform, others may say because the candidate ‘looked’ the part. In my years of political experience, I can only seem to come up with the answer, “I don’t know.” There are so many factors that weigh in a voter’s mind when they are casting their ballot. “Do I know this candidate intimately? Will this candidate fulfill his/her campaign promises? Do I believe this candidate will, to the best of his/her ability, serve me and my fellow citizens?” At least, that is what should be going through their mind. In reality, most student government voters think something along the lines of, “Oh, I have a class with that person. I remember this person talking to me once. Hey, that guy lived down the hall from me. Wow, she was my RA.” Mind you, I am not saying that the aforementioned reasons are not somewhat valid. Ideally, a voter should know the person who they are voting for. However, if a candidate expects to win his/her bid for office, he/she should in essence be “popular.”The candidates should belong to more organizations than they can count. They should assume leadership roles every time they have the opportunity. They should talk to more faces, shake more hands and smile more times than they can wrap their heads around-because, at the end of the day, that is what usually wins an election. While I hope that SG elections are more than just a glorified popularity contest, I am realistic in the fact that it takes a certain type of person to win an election. If you have any hopes to run for any position in SG next year, I give you the following advice from a political science major, who has over ten years of political experience with over twenty political campaigns:1. Get involved in every organization
which you can. You have no idea how many people will recognize you from some random club, even if you never seem to attend the meetings.2. Assume leadership positions on campus. Ideally, become a Resident Assistant. RA’s have some of the highest exposure on campus, and the broadest constituency. In fact, in this year’s election, nearly every one of the highest vote-getters were Resident Assistants.3. Join Greek Life. Generally speaking, you should at least get an additional boost of 50-100 votes if you are involved in a fraternity, or 100-150 votes if you are in a sorority.4. Network! Make your face visible at on-campus events, such as athletics, intermural, guest speakers and lecturers. Potential voters will remember that you were engaged and that you care about your school.5. Plan, plan, plan. While I will not specifically condone violating election code, you should have every element of your campaign solidified at least a month before elections begin. Start finding out who has high political aspirations on campus, and start asking around. Who do your friends think would make a better presidential candidate? Try to get involved in that person’s inner circle. Politics is a very rough business. Sometimes you win and more often than not, you will lose. But keep in mind nearly every President of the United States has lost at least one election in their lifetime. It is a natural process in the realm of elected office! In fact, it is almost a good thing to lose, because you will know what to change the next time around the block. Remember Eagles, this is your campus. If you want to see something changed, the only way to do it is to get involved and stay involved. Make your voices heard, students of FGCU!
Jeffrey is a sophomore, majoring in political science. He is a brother of the Kappa Sigma fraternity, and believes that “all are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delisions is called a philosopher.”
Focus on new SG leaders’ promises
On a warm Friday afternoon, the focus was brought back to FGCU students. Lauren Schuetz and Justin Carter embraced as they basked in their post victory glory, shedding tears of joy amidst the overwhelming cheers and congratulatory screams of their constituents. It’s times like this when I wish I had a time machine to flash forward about six months and
see if the cheers are still echoing or if they have turned to jeers. Looking over their platform, I found myself nodding my head a great deal. The issues this election were actually pretty well founded
from both parties. I fully support a 24-hour study lounge on campus. This is common on other campuses, and I hope to see it brought to FGCU. As a (need) the library is aware of and supports, this should be a change we see soon. I’ve been railing for more use of the library lawn, and FOCUS party’s proposals of planting shade trees and installing hammocks and more benches would be a wonderful start. Can we get some club-sponsored activities out there folks? Students are concerned with how their money is spent. One point FOCUS party made on their platform cards is they will continue to oppose block tuition and tuition hikes. If the state pushes for another tuition hike, this could be something FGCU and Student Government would have to go to the battlefield over. This is a harder issue to control. Block tuition on the other hand, is in our hands. FGCU is a member of the university coalition against block tuition, which would force students to pay a set tuition amount regardless of the number of classes enrolled in. That alone is evidence our new SG leaders are concerned for our bank accounts. Those are some of the bullet points that were highlighted in my brain as I read FOCUS party’s
platform. Naturally, with politics, there are a couple of points which also control one of my eyebrows. I fully see and respect the idea of the student memorial. Sadly, FGCU is not without its most disheartening and precious losses. The annoying concern of money and funding comes to mind. Who would pay for the memorial and its dedications? What would the memorial be? Are we talking something like tessellations in a certain area or a sculpture of an eagle with outspread wings and fallen feather’s with students’ dedications? It is a very heartfelt gesture, but would we be sending a desirable message to prospective students, touring parents, and guests? We have lost so many students this semester alone, would this be the testament we are trying to make? In 2009, SG spent more than $10,000 on a new website. I’m not going to go into all of the drama that ensued with the creation and spending for the site, but I would like to explore why FOCUS party is proposing to publish a “monthly Student Government Newsletter to keep students up to date on what Student Government is doing for them.” Why can’t this go on the website? Why not advertise the site address on out free speech boards, and encourage students to go to the website and find this information for themselves? The word “publish” leads be to believe this will be a newsletter presented in a print format. We are a school who pushes sustainability. This is not the way to go folks. You can’t stand for human rights and be racist. Same concept. Use the money that has already been spent. So, by all means, rah, rah FOCUS. I have a good feeling about our new representative based on their platform and promises. As long as those hold true, I feel the FGCU will be a robust and progressive nest of education.
Sara is a history grad student. She likes to look into different philosophies of life and gives more credit to the unorthodox than the “norm.” As a buddhist, Sara strongly believes in the four noble truths.
Election winning strategies
Enjoy your chicken sandwich
As a student who values diversity and embraces cultural differences, I almost fell out of my chair when I read the letter about supporting Chick-fil-A, especially the line that reflects the author’s desire not to support a company that “caters to the wants of selfish people who already have equal rights.”I’m sorry, but what planet did you come from in thinking that those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender have equal rights? That is so far from the truth that this letter lost all credibility and even a decent argument for your opinion.As taken from The Human Rights Campaign website, “same-sex couples and their families are denied access to the more than 1,138 federal rights, protections and responsibilities automatically granted to married heterosexual couples.” And that’s JUST because same-sex marred is denied. I don’t even want to get into all the other rights denied to the GLBT community in regards to the workplace, adoption, the military, social security, etc.Need I say more?And it might also interest to you
know exactly what organizations Chick-fil-A supports: The National Organization for Marriage, the Ruth Institute, Focus on the Family, and Exodus International. These all happen to be organizations all working to ban same-sex marriage, and in some respects, tout curing gay people of their sexual orientation. How is that helping “people in need?”Indeed, Chick-fil-A does have the right to support organizations and causes opposed to gay rights. But just like Chick-fil-A has that choice, so too do consumers who don’t want their money fueling support for anti-gay groups.Don’t go bashing those FGCU students who feel strongly about their rights to live just as fairly as those in the heterosexual community. Those opposing Chick-fil-A on our campus are only trying to send the message that so long as Chick-fil-A supports organizations opposed to GLBT equality, the restaurant chain doesn’t belong on college campuses, especially ours, that value their GLBT students, staff, faculty, and community members.I hope you enjoy your chicken sandwich.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
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As a sophomore at Middle Georgia College, Javi Sujo led the National Junior College Athletic Association (JUCO) in batting average, hitting .478. He hit in 55 of 56 games.
Such consistent hitting has translated to the next level as Sujo, a Florida Gulf Coast University junior transfer, is third on the team in hitting at .319 in his first year playing Division 1 ball.
Sujo is one of three Eagles (13-12, 7-5 A-Sun) batting over .300, and has come up with timely clutch hits, hitting especially well in A-Sun play.
“Javi (Sujo) has been a great addition to us,” coach Dave Tollett said. “He’s third on the team in hitting and he’s brought a lot to us so far.”
Before playing at the JUCO level, Sujo played for Florida International University, getting a first-hand look at the on-the-rise FGCU baseball program.
Sujo cites the competitiveness of FGCU as being a major factor in his decision to come play for the Eagles.
“When I played for FIU, we played FGCU a number of times and I always liked their way of
business,” Sujo said. “They play over here to win games.”
At Middle Georgia College, Sujo posted quite the resume, being named a JUCO first team All-American, as well as being named to the first team All-Region team.
Tollett recruited Sujo for his diverse skill set.
Besides his prowess as a hitter, Sujo has also made two appearances out of the bullpen for the Eagles.
“Javi (Sujo) is very versatile,” Tollett said. “He can pitch and hit, and is also a very unique player, which is why we recruited him.”
Sujo’s willingness to fulfill any role, with an eye on winning, matches the win-at-all-costs mentality of FGCU.
“I have always noticed that FGCU is a blue-collar type of team,” Sujo said. “They are very scrappy and they outwork other teams, which gives them the edge in close baseball games.”
Sujo acknowledges his hitting success as well.
“I’m seeing the ball well and having pretty good swings,” Sujo said. “I’ve definitely had ups and downs but I think that I’m putting up good at-bats.”
Tollett believes that there are a number of things that are contributing to Sujo’s success.
“Javi (Sujo) is a good hitter,” Tollett said. “He’s patient and he has a plan at the plate. All of those things combine to make him a pretty good hitter.”
Sujo realizes that playing at the D1 level is different than playing
junior college, but he does not let this affect his play.
“I feel that no matter what, there’s still going to be a baseball and a bat, as well as the three bases, so the game never changes,” Sujo said.
Sujo looks to continue his success on the Eagles’ upcoming four-game road trip that includes a trip to East Tennessee State this weekend as well as a game at Florida Atlantic on Tuesday.
As the Florida Gulf Coast University men’s tennis team plays out the string in a third straight losing season, coach J. Webb Horton looks forward to the end of the Division 1 transition.
Horton already has begun the recruiting process for next year, when the Eagles (3-16, 1-7 A-Sun) will be eligible for post-season play.
“We have two great kids coming in next year and a lot of veteran players coming back,” Horton said. “Our seniors really helped the program establish a strong work ethic.”
Injuries have no doubt played a part in the struggles; however, FGCU has lost a lot of lopsided dual matches this season, with scores such as 0-7, 1-6 and 2-5.
No matter the numbers, Horton paints an optimistic picture.
“We play some pretty good teams and we compete well with them,” Horton said. “The numbers of our record are not who we are.
This is the season to have an off season because we aren’t eligible for the post-season, so we’re just going to move forward with things.”
With two matches left in the season, FGCU intends to keep battling.
The Eagles fell to Brown University (13-2) 6-1 Sunday afternoon on senior day.
Seniors Mitchell Lvovsky, Carlo Checchia and Frank Acierno were honored before the match.
Lvovsky got the only victory on the day for the Eagles in singles play, winning in an intense tiebreaker 3-6, 6-3, 10-6.
“It was my last match at FGCU (home) and I just wanted to leave everything out there,” Lvovsky said. “When I was down 5-2 in the second set I told my opponent that we’ll be playing a third set and I ended up outplaying him for that hour and a half.”
Lvovsky has been through the struggles of the program and leaves with inspirational words for next year’s returning players.
“Keep your heads up and keep
fighting,” Lvovsky said. “Learn from your mistakes and every time you go onto the court, give yourself an opportunity to learn something new.”
The Eagles are going to end their season on the road, first at Jacksonville University (4-12; 2-5 A-Sun) this Friday and then at University of North Florida (11-6; 6-1 A-Sun) this Saturday.
“We beat Jacksonville 4-3 last season, which was one of our better wins, and it’s also the team that my brother plays for, so it should be fun,” Lvovsky said. “As for UNF, they’re probably going to win the conference this year, but we’re ready to make it a good match.”
Coach Horton is also ready for these next two games, and will devote his full attention to igniting a struggling program after the season.
“We’re going to see if we can knock off a Jacksonville team and UNF team this weekend,” Horton said. “After that, it’s time to prepare for next season.”
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 EAGLE NEWS SPORTS B7EDITOR: JOSH SIEGEL SPORTS!EAGLENEWS.ORG
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ENSPORTSweekly recap
Federico Crespo-Pauly became the !fth new student athlete to join the team for the upcoming fall season when he signed a national letter of intent. Crespo-Pauly is from Costa Rica, where he played center and left back.
Sophomore Briana Carlson !nished in !rst place on the 120-player leaderboard at the 2011 UC Spring Inivitational. FGCU !nished in a share for 11th place at the tournament, played at the Plantation Golf Resort in Crystal River.
Men’s soccer
Hockey
Women’s golf
Fell in the quarter!nals of the ACHA D2 National Championship to Michigan State. 7-3. FGCU !nished the season ranked 7th in the nation. Grand Valley State won the tournament.
Finished third in the 17-team FAU Spring Break Championship at Gleneagles Country Club. Junior Alex Medinis !nished in a tie for second place in a !eld of 93 players. Ohio State won the tournament.
Men’s golf
Baseball
The Traverse City (Mich.) Beach Bums of the Frontier Baseball League announced the acquisition of former FGCU pitcher Pete Woodworth via a trade with the Rockford Riverhawks.
In fifth grade, Nathan Behrent saw a flier at his elementary school advertising wrestling. This year, the Florida Gulf Coast University fifth-year senior became a three-time National Collegiate Wrestling Association All-American.
“I would get in fights and stuff (in elementary school), so I decided to wrestle to get better,” Behrent said. “So I wouldn’t get beat up.”
Earlier this month, Behrent traveled to Macon, Ga., to participate in his final NCWA national tournament in the 197-pound weight class. He won six matches until the quarterfinals, where he lost 3-2. Southern Virginia University, University of Texas and California Baptist were among the schools Behrent wrestled against. His third-place finish this season is the highest during his five-year career.
Behrent’s No. 4 Florida state ranking earned him scholarship offers from northern NCAA Division III schools while in high school, but he ultimately decided to attend FGCU. He thought his wrestling career was finished.
“I didn’t even know there was wrestling here (FGCU). So when I found out there was a club, I decided to do it,” Behrent said.
According to the FGCU Campus Recreation website, the FGCU Wrestling Club was activated in August 2007. Behrent has been president the past four years,
keeping the club together during tough times when it appeared the organization might dismantle.
“We had a mat on campus, but then it was taken away,” Behrent said. “Now we have to travel to Riverdale High School (in Fort Myers). People kind of stopped showing up, so we had to rebuild it again.”
At the end of this season, there were approximately a dozen wrestlers participating for FGCU in the Southeast Conference, with other schools such as University of Florida, University of Central Florida and Kennesaw State University.
To get to nationals, Behrent
wrestled in two tournaments prior to the SEC tournament, which qualified him for nationals. He placed in the top six to get to Macon.
Behrent’s best finish came after a year plagued with injury. In what was to be his final season for FGCU, he needed knee surgery. “I had to take out 20 percent of my meniscus, so I decided to redshirt,” Behrent said.
Because of the redshirt, the legal studies major extended his academic career as well, taking on a political science minor. He’ll graduate in May.
Behrent finished his NCWA FGCU wrestling career ranked fourth in the nation in the 197 weight class.
At the beginning of the spring season, the Florida Gulf Coast women’s tennis team had lost its second player, sophomore Melissa Narzissenfeld, for the season to a fractured foot.
This left the team a player short.To fill the void, coach Jennifer
Gabou turned to a familiar face.After her sophomore season on
the FGCU women’s tennis team, Jen Evans decided she’d had enough.
Instead of playing her junior season, Evans quit to pursue other interests.
But when Narzissenfeld went down, and her teammates came calling, Evans stepped in.
As Gabou explains it, “We lost two players at the beginning of the season,” Gabou said. “One had family problems (Jessica Sweeting) and then another one (Narzissenfeld) got a Jones fracture in her foot. We were down two players, and the girls (players on the team) asked me, ‘Can we please go ask Jen (Evans) if she’d like to come back and play again on the team?’ I said, ‘Oh, why not ... Jen (Evans) is a wonderful player.’”
Since returning five matches (on March 5 against USC Upstate) into the season, Gabou has gone 7-3, playing mostly at No. 4 singles.
Gabou didn’t plan on playing this year.
“I realized last year that I wanted to get into different things,” Evans said. “I just felt like it was my time to go, and I did. I wanted to sort of hang out with friends more. I also work, so that’s really why. I’ve always had a passion for tennis, but I just decided that I wanted to move on to other things.”
One of the reasons she decided to return was because of the friendships she has on the FGCU women’s tennis team.
“I’m still friends with a lot of the girls on the team, and they asked me if I would like to join the team to help them out, because they needed another player,” Evans said. “I’m so close with all of them so I couldn’t say no. I knew that I had to step up
and help them out.”After taking time off and coming
back, Evans has a new approach. “I think I’ve done kind of well,” Evans said. “I’ve used this (season) more as having fun, and I think that’s why (she has been successful). My mental game is in a different place right now.”
Gabou has seen a reinvigorated Evans. “I think this is the best tennis that I’ve seen Jen (Evans) play since her freshmen year in January,” Gabou said. “We’re just really fortunate that she’s decided to come back on the team for this semester.”
Evans is uncertain as to whether
she will come back for the full season next year.
“I’m not sure yet,” Evans said. “I need to pray about it and see where God wants to take me in life.”
Her immediate plans after this season are to continue her pursuit of earning her degree in special education.
No matter what lies ahead for Evans, she will be looking to have some more fun with just three matches left in the season.
FGCU will play Wednesday at FIU, followed by a match at Jacksonville University on Friday before closing out at UNF on Saturday.
The softball season to this point has been an up-and-down campaign for the Eagles.
Yet coach Dave Deiros hopes FGCU is now ready for some fun in the A-Sun.
The Eagles, who are 17-17 in non-conference games as of Tuesday, now begin heavy-duty play in the Atlantic Sun Conference for the final month of the 2011 season.
FGCU is already at the top of the standings early on with a sweep of Campbell last weekend in the A-Sun opener for both sides.
FGCU is now also 6-0 in A-Sun Conference opening games.
“The A-Sun is a good softball conference,” Deiros said. “Just about everyone in the conference is around .500. If you have a fast start in the league, you get vaulted right to the top. But going on the road in the conference is hard for us, because we play much better at home. We’re not bad on the road, but it’s just difficult for us. We’re a little out of our comfort zone, but it’s a matter of getting acclimated to the road, and making yourself familiar.”
Jacksonville is undefeated through four A-Sun games. South Carolina Upstate, which is ranked 25th in the UltimateCollegeSoftbal l .com weekly poll, FGCU and Lipscomb are all tied at 2-0 in league play.
The A-Sun in softball represents the school’s best chance to move up in the all-sports conference standings.
In women’s sports, FGCU is tied for third with East Tennessee State with 93 points and tied for fourth with Belmont in the standings for men and women combined.
Cat McDaniel has been the team’s best pitcher to this point. She has piled up an earned run average of 1.73 in 16 games, striking out 65 while walking only 13.
Courtney Platt is the Eagles’ leader in slugging percentage at .656, hits with 35 and batting average at .389; Mariah Fernandez is tops in RBI with 19, and Brittney Garabedian paces the team with seven home runs.
“It’s been kind of a slow start to the season, since we have a lot of freshmen,” Platt said. “The players are starting to mesh together. Everyone is very excited right now. The players have a lot of potential, and we are ready to win the conference.”
Despite some impressive team numbers at the plate, Platt hopes the Eagles can improve their hitting in the next month.
“Our defense is exceptional,” Platt said. “But we have to do better with the bats. If we can score some runs, then that will win a lot of ball games because our defense doesn’t give up many. No matter how well you play defense, you have to score some runs.”
The Eagles play Wednesday in their last non-conference game, then after that they play in nine straight double-headers in the A-Sun. FGCU receives a break as it plays its best opponents, USC-Upstate and Lipscomb, at home in the FGCU Softball Complex.
The Eagles host USC-Upstate in a doubleheader April 7 and Lipscomb in a doubleheader April 14.
The Eagles wrap up the regular season at home in a double-header against Stetson on April 22. Then the A-Sun tournament takes place May 13-15 at Stetson University, located in DeLand.
MEN’S WRESTLING
WOMEN’S TENNIS
