!"##$%&''()*"##$%&''+

an alternative voice since 1984an SBI publication0 4 2 4 2 0 1 2vol. 29 issue 14ubgeneration.com

CONTENTSGeneration Magazine - April 24, 2012

FEATURED

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

!"#$%$&'()*%+,*-./.5

Writing for Generation these past two years has been a hum-bling experience. I got to meet a lot of

great people, write things I’ve always wanted to, and deal with the ups and downs of running a magazine. I was elated when I was o!ered the job last year and though a lot has changed since then I have never lost my love for writing or my enthusiasm for my job. There have been times when I have expressed discontent with parts of my position – the anxiety, the la-borious task of expressing your opin-ion to the student body every issue, the brushes with the loyal (and not so loyal) opposition – but in the end I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I don’t want to focus on myself, of course. This magazine is not about me. It’s about UB and our wider com-munity. Our approach has always been to tackle an issue relevant to the student body and cover it in ways not normally done. Over the past year we have covered things directly related to UB like student protests, UB2020, the GRE, and campus architecture as well as things related to us as people like our unusual winter weather and the cult behind Ayn Rand. And we tried to sprinkle each issue with articles that we thought people would enjoy, like short stories, criticism, and our annu-al Oscar predictions. In James Joyce’s A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, young Stephen Dedalus inscribes his worldview in his geography textbook: his name, his class, his school, his town, his county, his country, his con-tinent, the World, the Universe. In the

same vein, we wanted the magazine as accurately and as interestingly as possible to cover all these things. We knew, obviously, that the magazine could only go so far. But we knew that the world was out there and wanted, through journalism and writing in general, a small slice of it.

I’m very happy with the way things have gone. None of what the maga-zine has accomplished would’ve been possible without the help of the ex-traordinary sta! and our contributing writers. I would like to wish the sta!, all of who are leaving except for Ally, my very best wishes and gratitude for the work they have done. Claire, you were a valuable asset to the maga-zine. You always had great ideas and your writing was terrific. I’m glad I can call you a friend. Raïssa, you displayed such creativity and cheery insight. It was always a pleasure reading and editing your work. I look forward to seeing you in the halls of the English department next year. Catherine, you always were a dedicated and driven member of Generation. We, as well as UB, were very lucky to have you for so long. Erin, I’m glad that I chose you as Copy Editor. Working with you was always a pleasure, and the side conversations we would have in the o"ce are some of the best I’ve ever had. You have such a great heart, which I know will take you far.

Bonnie, you’re just awesome. You have done fantastic work this year and did it with an understated aplomb I always found comforting. Working closely with you all those long pro-duction days made them worthwhile, and I know there will be many more people in your life that will say the same. Benny, your sunny personal-ity and enthusiasm for the magazine were always refreshing – and man, can you take photos! Brian and Jer-emy, your work for the business as-

pects of the magazine helped us tre-mendously. My best wishes for your future careers. I’d also like to thank you, Lin, for your work with us. That you did this purely on a volunteer ba-sis says much about your work ethic and character. Rashid, thanks for be-ing such a genial presence in the of-fice and for working hard to get our magazine out. And Carlton, I know what it’s like to be a contributing writ-er for a magazine that doesn’t pay or give credit, so kudos to you! I hope you continue with the magazine next year. My thanks to everyone else that contributed to the magazine. We’ve always had a small sta!; contributing writers would make or break our is-sues. You should all be proud. I cer-tainly am of you.

A few personal thank you’s. I want to thank Prof. Mark Shechner for his guidance and friendly advice over the year I’ve known him. Mark, I consider you a mentor. I want to thank Ren La-forme, too, for his contributions and pointers on how to make the maga-zine even stronger. Ren, your tenure at Generation was challenging to live up to. And, as always, say hi to Keeley for me! Also, I must express my grate-fulness to Dino Husejnovic, who set the magazine’s pace before me and did a kick-ass job. The magazine wouldn’t have been possible, either, without the hard work of the sta! of SBI, especially the work of William Hooley (such a great boss!), Gale, Roe, Joel, and treasurer Josh Boston. Guys, I was honored to be your employee; I hope that I lived up to your expecta-tions. And to everyone else at SBI and the other people that made Genera-tion happen, my eternal thanks and good wishes.

Ally. Ally, I know the magazine will flourish under your guidance as Edi-tor in Chief. I don’t think I’ve always said it but it was a pleasure to have

you around. Your dedication to the magazine was outstanding and I’ve seen you progress in the magazine and in school for nearly a year and a half now. Whatever you decide to do, I’d ask that you remember to respect tradition as you find newer and better ways to take the magazine forward. I know you will do an amazing job, and I for one will be looking forward to each and every issue as a regular student next year.

I’d be remiss, finally, if I didn’t thank my friends and family for their love and support over the years. My mom and dad especially. You two always encouraged me with this endeavor. I can’t tell you how indebted I feel to you both. My grandparents, too, were always such dedicated readers. Grandma and Grandpa, thanks for reading and all those lovely comple-ments and emails you bestowed upon me. And to everyone else that has complemented the magazine over the year, as well as everyone else that read it, thank you so much. We here really do appreciate it.

Well, that’s it folks. My time in Gen-eration is done. I may contribute an article here or there next year but my hands are free from the publication. I’ll always remember the good times I’ve had here. Eventually, when I leave UB and maybe even Bu!alo, I’ll al-ways look back at my time with the tabloid with nostalgia and pride, from the time I walked into the o"ce as a college sophomore to the time I final-ly left as a part-time graduate student.

Much love.

Sincerely,

Josh Newman.

!"#$%&'#(')*#+,!"#$%&'()*+

-.(./#(/'!"#$%&,--.%/*-0'12*3

%)&+.$#0+'1#&+2$%&

/"++4'%5*+

)%34'!"#$%&614+%54--4#

566%2#.$+'!"#$%&6!"#$%&'(%)*+',#-..#'/0+1"&2

!#13&%$+&'4%&+5&%6#.1

7*%$%'!"#$%&/'++.%748"

)#&289.$#%('1#&+2$%&9*#$4:%;*3$4-<94='1*

)%($&#:8$#(/'';$.,,>*1-?"+%/1"03@.-'1%A*8-4*1:4

<86#(+66'-.(./+&/14*+%B*-4#$

566$=')&+.$#0+'1#&+2$%&C4+%74D%>$"

5"'-.(./+&'!'1').%5"-"034

$%$&'()*%.0'#'1)%$

2('33

EDITOR’S LETTER

'#$%4'556)(7"8./.7!"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

Texts from Hillary

Ally Balcerzak Makes EIC!

EasierParkingSpring Fest on a Sunday

or

s

Yet Another Shitty Law from Arizona

UB Memes

!"

!"!#$%&%'()!*+((,!-%)!./0

)102+%&%$'!%3!"!3!#-%'(3$(#%'!.$%.$%$'!%$3.24%&%.532/%67

s !"!#$%&%42#./08

!"

!"

#$%

#$%

AGENDA

s !"!#$%&%#!"!3%+()2#9%:.+,%$(%1:

s .3$0%&%'%1%#%9%3%;<<%$'!%0!#2(3%$'!020%0'(=%&%%'2*$!)5%4.:32+.$2(#>%?@%5!33;%0$3!!$%:144./(%#;AB6CD%&%%.532/%6E%75F)F%*%AC5)

#$%

8./.)%($&9)$: !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

The Rise and Rule of

)%($&9)$:./.9!"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

Travis Nemmer :/&@A+%#-&C,A9)(W,J& &8"#$#&:/&C)--/&6+2#

10./.,*9$&.8(*&; !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

:/&@A+%#-&C,A9)(W,J

A Note on the Personals:/&X#%"&Y)ZH,-

,*9$&.8(*&;./.11!"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

12./.3$'(!&$8 !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

SENIORBenny HigoPhoto Editor

Having used a Panasonic compact digital camera for a couple years since high school, I simply realized taking photos became my great hobby. Then I met a lot of great photographers here at UB, who influenced me to get in-volved with the photography world. I have done various casual photo shoots but working as a photographer was literally a ‘median’ for me to get con-nected to people, society, and the world. Viewing the world through the lens is just exciting; I can always see something new. I appreciate this opportu-nity, and gladly share some of my photo work from the journeys I’ve made throughout my college life. (More on http://www.flickr.com/photos/khigo/ )

!"#$%&"'()(13(%*+","&#$-.,/0.1

continues next page!

Taking portrait photos is a way of expressing how I see the world, and exposes my existence as a photographer.

Amami Island. My beautiful hometown in Southwestern Japan.

A road trip to Montreal, Canada with my Japanese friends was another great memory. Spring 2011.

Getting involved with Japanese SA and working for SA and Generation Magazine as a photographer (and more!) were such great opportunities that I took advantage of. I enjoyed my college life at UB; it was how I got closer to the world, I believe.

When I could afford to, I enjoyed taking some journeys to other cities in the States. Boston, Winter 2011.

I got into portrait photography as well once I got a SLR camera. Model Giovanni Salim.

The Bahamas Cruise for my last spring break in college was a great 'gift' to myself. Another greetings to the new world.

SEND OFF!Coming from a small island in Japan, I never expected I would be walking around NYC, which is still a huge maze to me even after visiting several times.

14./.3$'(!&$8 !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

Catie PrendergastAssociate Editor

I remember quite distinctly my interview for the copy-editor position at Generation. It was the end of my sophomore year and by this point I decid-ed to get involved in a campus publication. I was ready to write anything purely for the experience, so when I saw that Generation had paid positions I applied instantly. I was thrilled to get a call from Dino, the then-editor-in-chief, and I prepared for my interview accordingly: I wore the only blazer I had, a simple black H&M piece, black leggings, and boots. In short, I tried to look as professional as I could with a 60 percent Salvation Army ward-robe. Once I sat down in the o"ce, Dino across from me, holding a blank paper awaiting notes, I thought I had maybe over dressed, just a tad. But the mentality I embedded with my outfit didn’t falter: I wanted this job so I was going to dress the part, speak the part, be the part. It worked. I was hired as Generation’s new copy-editor for the 2010-2011 semester. I was thrilled.

One part of that year that I will never forget was my role as “She says” in the now extinct column called “He Says, She Says.” The two writers, one male, one female, were supposed to alter between the sta! throughout the year. I think it was the

second or third issue when Dino assigned me and Nathan Grygier to the column. I remember Dino’s email when we sent him our answers – “wow! You guys make a great combo.” From then on, it was me and Nate, conquering the world. Not re-ally, but we wrote the He Says, She Says column all year and it was awesome. Every two weeks, I got to write in a totally casual, sarcastic, usually inappropriate manner. Did I say it was super fun? Obviously I wrote more substantial articles as well, but being part of a humorous column made me realize the joy of a non-conservative, loose writ-ing style.

That being said, I was really happy when Josh sug-gested I do associate-editor work for the next (my senior) year. I can use these more serious articles as samples for my portfolio and job interviews. With the two years combined, I have been able to write about everything from a sandwich at Pista-chio’s to Bu!alo breweries. Besides the invaluable editorial experience, the confirmation that people are reading what I’m saying never gets old. Two weeks ago my teacher emailed me saying he saw a piece I wrote and really liked it. Last year, I wrote a bit about a sandwich (mentioned earlier) that received one very amusing letter claiming why in God’s name would Generation dedicate a whole page to a sandwich. With both reactions, liked it/hated it, came the same feeling of accomplish-

ment. Maybe it’s just me, but every time someone told me they saw and read my article (whether they loved it or despised it) it reinforced the fact that Generation, and any campus publication, is actually read, and not only by students, but by teachers and even outsiders.

In conclusion, my time here at Generation has been most satisfactory, professionally and recre-ationally. I will miss our biweekly meetings, the emails, the people. I wish the best to the next batch of young reporters, and advise them all to stand their ground and be patient when people will inevitably ask them to bring back the person-als. Good night and good luck.

Erin WillisCopy Editor

The idea behind the ‘Senior Send O!’ assignment is to give editors a chance to discuss their experi-ences on sta! at Generation. Excuse me, then, as I soundly ignore the assignment and write about the one thing I’ve been dying to write about for-ever: Thawab Shibly.

This article may end up being very embarrassing for me. I’m going to publically discuss the intrica-cies of female best friend-ship, which is one of the strangest things, like, ever. I feel that my rela-tionship with my best friend, Thawab, is probably exponentially stranger than any other best friend-ship. I think it works for us though. As a friend, Jackie Friedman, once said, “You guys would be really nice to have as friends on your own. But having the two of you together is [literally the best thing that has ever or will ever happen to me in the course of my life].” Or something like that.

For those of you who don’t know Thawab, I’ll en-lighten you: she’s a Muslim American, a boxer, a fashion icon, an April fool, and, most recently, a Fulbright Scholar. Since receiving the Fulbright three weeks ago, I have not hesitated to tell every-one that she is not just a recipient, but a scholar. She is also my facebook o"cial wife/husband (this changes based on our mood) (not like that you sicko), much to the confusion of those Facebook

friends who are actually my mom’s friends. Peo-ple don’t seem to understand that you can have a wife/husband/best friend and a boyfriend at the same time. It’s very tricky business so I wouldn’t expect everyone to understand. Just know that I can do it.

Anyway. When I first saw Thawab G. Shibly eight years ago, she was being heckled by a particularly smelly person on the way to gym class. “Do you have a bomb under there?” he said. She responded by mule-kicking him in the gut and apparating on the spot. From that moment on, I was terrified into knew I had to be friends with her. Since our initial first meeting, where I embarrassed myself so badly that I can’t repeat the story here, we’ve grown to be best friends. Or extensions of each other.

Now, to be extremely dramatic: Thawab has af-fected the course of my life. Once a shy, weird looking teenager, she has changed the way that I see the world and the people within it. Her perse-verance and dedication to a cause are more than admirable; they are enviable. She exhibits, as they say, “moral fiber.”

She is literally a perfect human specimen.

As the two of us move into our adult lives, it is bit-tersweet. While we’ve been away from each other for months before, it seems that this is the first time that we’ll face the prospect of staying together wholly on our own. Childhood homes once held

us together, but now only friendship and loyalty can do that. I know that we’ll be okay, but I can’t help but say that I’ll miss her quite terribly. Skype may be incredible technology, but sometimes, it doesn’t account for the wonderful feeling of being face-to-face.

Disclaimer: the rest of this article may feel like an overzealous and nostalgic yearbook signature. But this isn’t really for you.

So, Thawab, my habibti: I love you. I’ll miss you. But let’s be adults and shake hands and know that noth-ing’s really changing even when everything is.

features | 15 ubgeneration.com

Bonnie WanCreative Director

Every summer when I go back home, people asks me two questions. “So, what’s your major?” Communication design. “What’s that?”Our program starts o! with a foundation in fine arts, practicing painting, drawing, sculpture, per-formance art, and multimedia arts. Then we learn all of the technical knowledge behind graphic de-sign…

At this point, the person to whom I tried explaining about my awesome major starts to fade away from me. WHY!?! I don’t understand why some people don’t care about graphic design at all or why they think that art majors are for kids who don’t want to study. Perhaps they think art is an easy subject. It isn’t. Don’t they see that we are living in a visually-bombarded society? My major, Communication Design, is more than graphic design. While we are trained how to design packaging, logos, editori-als, and typography, we also learn about our visual culture. We don’t just copy-and-paste text and lay-out our magazine on Word. And no, good Photo-shop-ing is not easy. We apply our technical skills along with our learning to understand everything you see everyday including the stupid graphic on the shirt you’re wearing now. As an art major, we study how the visualization of our society acts as a means of communication. We examine how it af-fects our society, our politics, our popular culture and ourselves. And what’s the outcome of study-ing all this? We dream for a better world. We dream to live life to the fullest or to at least scream out the reality of how ugly the world we are living in is.

Here at UB’s Visual Studies Department and Gen-eration, I’ve met fellow passionate colleagues who have an urge to express themselves and share their thoughts to the world. In fact, not many people know what it takes to express themselves or even understand the importance of expression. It is a lonely world out there. Either you keep everything to yourself or you share it with others. Being able to speak out, whether in visual art forms, in writing, or even in music, is the first step in creating stu!s to replace the things we hate or unknown to. It is the first step to understanding your interests, your dreams, your life, and yourself. There is so much to do out there, waiting for us, and every choice we make, no matter how insignificant it might be, can gradually, unconsciously change not only us but also the world. This is why my class’ Senior Thesis Show, coming up next week, is named H U N G R Y (April 28, 2012// 6 -10 PM// 79 Perry Street Bu!alo NY 14203). We are not trying to say that we are starving artists. We are 29 new, emerging artists and designers. We come from di!erent disciplines and have di!erent interests; however, we all hun-ger to search for something in the future, the past, or the present whether it’s answers, opportunities, or reflections on self or society. We are living a life with a purpose.

Despite the huge pressure compiling the editorial designs within the short amount of time allowed, it has been a great experience working as the Cre-ative Director for Generation Magazine with other creative makers. This will become a valuable step-ping-stone for me as I move on as an interdisci-plinary artist-designer, who hungers to learn more about how people perceive visual information. In discovering e!ective graphic design and in educat-

ing people about the importance of our visual cul-ture through art and design, I want to let the world know that we need art. We need good design. It will change your views about art or perhaps just make you smile one day when you see my work (http://bonnie-wan.com :).

Raïssa HuntleyAssociate Editor

I was glad to have had the opportunity to work on the staff of Generation this year. They’re good folks, and the best thing about them is that they approach the job with a sense of humor and a desire to produce content that is original and of interest to their readers. Thank you, all!

Working for Generation did what I had hoped it would for me, it gave me the opportunity to intrude on local goings-on in a way that I didn’t have to feel self-conscious about. I had sever-al strange and wonderful persons, places and things to investigate during my time at Genera-tion; opportunities I might not have taken ad-vantage of it weren’t for the wonderful tradition of press passes. At the beginning of the year I took advantage of one such press pass to attend a runway show at Buffalo Fashion Week down-town in the convention center. I felt like a real tourist in my hippie get-up and cosmetic-less face, but I got an interesting peek into the world

of fashion design (and a coupon for free laser hair removal, which I never found occasion to use).

During the National Historic Preservation Con-ference, I had an opportunity to visit General Mills’ retired grain elevators, and to learn about the importance of grain elevators in Buffalo’s economic history. As a newcomer to this region, the story I did on the preservation conference enamored me to Buffalo’s architecture and his-tory.

I am also grateful that working for Generation gave me occasion to attend the first lectures in the new Leslie/Lohman Queer Artists Lecture Series at UB. The year’s lectures featured very prominent artists and have set a high standard for what will prove to be a point of pride for the arts at UB.

My favorite part of Generation, however, is the “Parting Shots” feature, where the staff allows itself free-reign to bitch and moan about the

topic of its choice. While I occasionally took the opportunity seriously, and complained about something that really mattered (like women’s reproductive rights), at other times I abused the privilege. That said, I’m sorry for writing a part-ing shot about toenails. Probably no one want-ed to read that and I hope that it does not fea-ture too prominently in Google search results for “Raïssa Huntley,” lest future employers see it.

3$'(!&$8./.17!"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

EIC Announcement :/&@A+%#-&C,A9)(W,J

As I sit here trying to decide how to start this letter, I realize that even though next year will be my third year as an editor for Generation, it is going to be a whole new ball game. There is no more sleeping in on production mornings or leaving the o!ce mid afternoon to go o" and start my weekend early.

Instead I get to sit and wait for a crisis to arise as we are editing and doing layout, and when things run smoothly (as they almost always do) I will have done nothing of great significance that day except sit in the o!ce for ten hours.

The funny thing is, I’ve been impatiently waiting two years to be in that very position. Being Editor-in-Chief of a publication is an honor that not many people receive; it is a position earned by hard work and long hours. But once you reach it, every late night of writing seems worth the e"ort. So now here I am, preparing to enter my senior year here at UB, and it is my job to lead Generation Magazine and its writers. All of the ideas I’ve had bouncing around in my head for the past two years can finally come to fruition (I hope) and I get to steer the magazine down the path I think it should be on. To be honest, that terrifies me. I’m writing this letter in the basement of Lockwood and literally had to stop so my best friend could remind me that I’m ready to be EIC of Generation. With that slight panic attack aside, I’d like to welcome you to the year of Ally. It’s been five years since we’ve had a female at the reigns, and I plan to use that girl power the Spice Girls instilled in me while grow-ing up to bring new life to Generation. I’ll be honest with you… the Personals are not coming back. The very fact that a large number of those reading this doesn’t know what I’m talking about is proof that they aren’t necessary anymore. But before you start calling for my head on a platter, hear me out.

The literary section is going back down to two pages and a ded-icated music section is coming in. Bu"alo is home to numerous talented musicians and our music scene is something I’ve loved being a part of since I was young. We are going to work hard to let you know about concerts both big and small that are coming to town, and we will do everything we can to talk with the artists constantly circling through Bu"alo. The “Advice!” column will be replaced with something special, but it won’t be unveiled until the end of summer. We’ll also be updating our website, www.ubgeneration.com, on a weekly basis instead of just when a new issue comes out. This means you’ll have to head online to check out exclusive stories that won’t be going to print. If you’re interested in joining us on the editing sta" next year, be sure to head to ubgeneration.com and click on “work for us.” We are currently looking for a Managing Editor, Creative Director, Photo Editor, Copy Editor, Circulation Director, and two Associate Editors, all of which can be applied for online. We are also looking for an Advertising Manager and an As-sistant Advertising Manager, which can applied for in the Sub Board I Inc. o!ce at 341 Student Union. I encourage anyone

interested in being an editor to apply whether you’re an undergrad or graduate student. And for anyone who would like to only be on the writing sta", send an e-mail to ubgeneration@gmail.com letting us know. That being said, I need to ask a favor of every UB student. If there’s something you’d like to see us cover, let us know! No matter how hard we try, we’re not mind readers here at Generation (although I’ve been told that Sub Board I Inc. is close to being able to do it). The fact of the matter is if we completely forget to cover your favorite Wizard Rock band, chances are it’ll be because we never knew they existed. We are here for YOU, and we want to write about things YOU want to read. So be sure to help us out and e-mail us at ubgeneration@gmail.com or tweet us at @ubgeneration if there’s something you’d like to see in the magazine.

18./.'49),$< !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

:/&'A,+()&C(#Z-

Cinco de Mayo Edition

I feel weird celebrating a

holiday when I have no

background knowledge on it.

Why should I celebrate Cinco

de Mayo?

Is there any way to enjoy Cinco de

Mayo without getting drunk?

I want to throw a Cinco de Mayo

party, both to celebrate the holiday

and the end of the semester. Drink

suggestions? Party suggestions?

My girlfriend and I have been going out for three

years, and her birthday is May 5th, so I want to ask

her to marry me on her birthday. The only problem

is that her family’s having a huge Cinco de Mayo

party that day, and I don’t know whether I should

propose in front of her entire family. Help!

20./.=)($&'(!&$ !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

BloodshedChapter 3:!

"#$%&'$("%)*&$ +*),$-*."$ /0$ 1%),"1$ 2%)"$

),%)$'%34$5,"3$+*),$),1"-$*&$),"61$72*),"8$

%&'$'6'&9)$+*),"1$8,*-"16&:$-,62"$8)622$1";

<%6&6&:$)*$2**.$8,%10$%&'$%))1%7)6="4$5,"3$

8)*00"'$ %)$ %$ :%8$ 8)%)6*&$ +">*1"$ 2"%=6&:$

?2%:8)%>> $ )*$ 7%)7,$ 8*<"$+1"%.>%8)$+/116)*8$ %&'$%$ 7*>;

>""$ )*$-%."$ ),"<$ /04$ !"%=6&:$ ?2%:8)%>> $ %&'$<"1:6&:$

*&)*$ ),"$@;AB$C$)*-%1'$!4D4E$("%)*&$+":%&$ )*$ ),6&.$

-,"&$,"$ 26)$ ,68$<*1&6&:$ 76:%1"))"4$F68$ ),*/:,)8$-%&;

'"1"'$*&)*$ ),"$=%8)$+%11"&$'"8"1)$02%6&$%&'$,"$+":%&$

)*$8""$=/2)/1"8$761726&:$ 6&$ ),"$8.34$5,68$1"<6&'"'$,6<$

*> $3"8)"1'%3$-,"&$),"3$-"1"$:"))6&:$:%8$%&'$),"$G%:*8$

-"1"$:6=6&:$),"<$'61)3$2**.84$("%)*&$+":%&$)*$-*&'"1$

6> $6)$-%8$0*886+2"$),%)$),"$G%:*8$-"1"$>*22*-6&:$),"<4$

D8$8**&$%8$,"$'6'$8*E$,"$2**."'$6&$),"$0%88"&:"1$86'"$

<611*1$%&'$8%-$)-*$<*)*17372"8$6&$),"$'68)%&7"$+",6&'$

),"<4$F"$),*/:,)$6&$,68$<6&'$),%)$),68$7*/2'&9)$0*886+23$

+"$,%00"&6&:H*1$<%3+"$ 6)$-%8$ I/8)$7*6&76'"&7"4$J/8)$

%8$,"$),*/:,)$),%)E$%&'$),"$&"/1%2$7617/6)13$6&$,68$<6&'$

),%)$),"1"$-%8$*+=6*/823$%$01*+2"<$'"76'"'$6)$-%8$)6<"$

)*$>%8)"&$,68$8"%)+"2)E$-,67,$,"$&"="1$-*1"$"#7"0)$6&$%$

7%8"$*> $%&$"<"1:"&734$("%)*&$2**."'$%)$!"#E$-,*$-%8$

8)622$8*<",*-$0"1>"7)23$7%2<$%&'$%8."'$,6<K

"#)1"<"$>"%14$!"#$01*7""'"'$)*$.""0$,68$<*/),$72*8"'$

%&'$I/8)$2**."'$*="1$%)$("%)*&$-6),$),"$+2%7.$:2%1"$*> $

,68$'%1.$+2%7.$L%.2"3$:2%88"84

%8."'4$D8$),"$+6."8$:*)$72*8"1$%&'$72*8"1E$)"11*1$%1*8"$

6&$("%)*&98$<6&'4$5,"$,*)$'"8"1)$8/&$+"%)$'*-&$*&$),"$

M*88$NBO$%8$6)$1*%1"'$'*-&$),"$@;AB4$M",6&'$),"<$*&23$

NBB$<")"18$%-%3$-%8$%$71"-$*> $86#$G%:*8$+6."18$8)%16&:$

>*1-%1'$-6),$'"=6*/8$6&)"&)4

P!68)"&E$@9<$&*)$:*6&:$)*$%8.$%:%6&E$-,%)$),"$>/7.$68$:*;

!"#$)/1&"'$="13$82*-23$*="1$)*$("%)*&4$5,"$01*7""'6&:$

"="&)8$8""<"'$)*$,%00"&$6&$82*-$<*)6*&4$!"#$8)%11"'$

%8$7*2'$%8$%$>16:6'$:2%76%2$)/&'1%$%)$("%)*&$%&'$,"$82*-23$

%&'$ 6&)"1"8)"'$%)$ ),"$8%<"$ )6<"$8*$7*&)6&/"'$ )*$8)%1"$

82*-23$26>)"'$,68$L%.2"3$8,%'"8$/&)62$),"3$26>)"'$*="1$,68$

>*1","%'4$F68$"3"8$+2%8)"'$%&$%/1%$*> $ 6<<"&8"$-,6)"$

+26&'6&:$26:,)$%)$("%)*&$6&$%$="13$2%1:"$%1"%E$86<62%1$)*$

),"&$Q/67.23$0/)$,68$:2%88"8$+%7.$'*-&$%&'$01*7""'"'$

)*$'16="4$("%)*&$8%)$82/<0"'$6&$,68$8"%)$%8$6> $,"$,%8$I/8)$

%>)"1$%$>"-$<*<"&)8$%&'$),"$1"%26)3$),%)$),"3$-"1"$+"6&:$

7,%8"'$+3$+6."18$8**&$7%/:,)$+%7.$/0$6&$,68$<6&'4$5,"$

+6."18$-"1"$&*-$*&23$%+*/)$RBB$<")"18$>1*<$),"61$S/8;

)%&:$%&'$),"3$+*),$.&"-$),%)$),"3$,%'$)*$'6)7,$),"<4$

("%)*&$&"1=*/823$)/1&"'$*&$),"$1%'6*$>*1$8*<"$7*<;

)/1&6&:$),"$8)%)6*&$,"$,"%1'$%$&"-8$1"0*1)$8%36&:K

P5,"$ @;AB$ -622$ +"$ 72*8"'$ >1*<$ (6&:<%&$ )*$ M%18)*-$

5,"$&"-8$-%8$%$8,*7.$)*$("%)*&E$7*&86'"16&:$),%)$),"3$

%21"%'3$,%'$8*<"$)1*/+2"$:"))6&:$)*$!4D4$3"8)"1'%34

;

;

P@$ ),6&.$ 3*/$-*/2'$ .&*-$ +"))"1$ ),%&$ %&3*&"H<6&'$

8%6'4

("%)*&$8%6'4

72*8"1$%&'$72*8"1$)*$),"$"#6)$*> $T"26:<%&$-,"&$!"#$%7;

7"2"1%)"'$)*$OBU<0,4$),"$+6."8$-"1"$8*<",*-$<%&%:;

6&:$)*$>*22*-$),"61$)%62$">>*1)2"88234$D8$),"3$%001*%7,"'$

),"$"#6)$!"#$<%'"$%$0837,*)67$3")$01"768"$)/1&$*>> $),"$

1*%'$%)$OBU<0,4$5,"1"$-%8$%$7*&8)1/7)6*&$"Q/60<"&)$

)1%62"1$1%<0$%)$),"$"#6)$%&'$!"#$%77"2"1%)"'$*&)*$6)$%&'$

01*I"7)"'$),"61$7%1$*>> $),"$1%<04$D8$7*&8)1/7)6*&$-*1.;

"18$%&'$76=626%&8$8)%&'6&:$+3$%22$*+8"1="'$6&$,*11*1E$),"$

1%<0$&"%123$82%/:,)"16&:$N$-*1."184$5,"$G%:*8$'6'$&*)$

8""$),68$7*<6&:$%&'$7*&)6&/"'$)*$,"%'$6&$),"$*00*86)"$

'61"7)6*&4

PV*$-%3E$*&7"$),"3$:")$)*$(6&:<%&$),"3$-622$,%="$)*$

)/1&$%1*/&'E$%&'$@$%<$8/1"$),"3$-622$7%)7,$/0$-6),$/8$%)$

01*+%+23$ )1%&80*1)6&:$ %$ 8,60<"&)$ +%7.$ >1*<$S"#67*$

%8."'E$-*116"'4

PW"%,E$3*/$'*&9)$+"2*&:$,"1"E$ ),"3$8"&8"'$3*/$+">*1"$

1"%223$-*116"'4$!"#$'"76'"'$6)$-%8$)6<"$)*$)/1&$*&$),"$

8)"1"*$%&'$+2%8)$8*<"$<*1"$'"%),;7*1"4$5,"$S/8)%&:$

7*0$6&$86:,)4

D8$),"3$,"%'"'$-"8)$*&$1*/)"$XX$),6&:8$+":%&$)*$>""2$

I/8)$"&I*3$),"$16'"4$5,"$'/8)3$'"8"1)$)"11%6&$-6),$<*/&;

)%6&8$%&'$7%&3*&8$6&$),"$'68)%&7"$8""<"'$)*$+"$%$'1/:$

),%)$+1*/:,)$),"<$0"%7"$*&$),"$7,%*)67$)1604$5,"3$8%-$

="13$>"-$7%18$%8$),"3$'1*="$'*-&$),"$1*%'$),%)$8""<"'$

)*$8)1")7,$>*1"="14$("%)*&$+":%&$)*$:")$+*1"'$-6),$),"$

6'2"$7,6)$7,%)$%&'$'"76'"'$)*$2**.$%)$%$<%0$),%)$-%8$6&$

),"$:2*="$7*<0%1)<"&)4$D77*1'6&:$)*$),"$<%0E$+"7%/8"$

),"$ @;AB$-%8$ 72*8"'$ 6&$(6&:<%&E$ ),"3$-*/2'$ ,%="$ )*$

)%."$%$<*1"$&*1),"1&$1*/)"$%&'$),"&$8-6&:$+%7.$'*-&$

)*$T%&$M"1&%1'6&*$)*$:")$)*$!4D4$5,68$<"%&)$*&23$*&"$

),6&:K

=)($&'(!&$./.21!"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.

5,"$'16=6&:$-%8$0"1>"7)$>*1$),"$1"<%6&'"1$*> $),%)$'%3E$

+/)$!"#$-%8$8)622$7*&876*/8$),%)$),"$G%:*8$-"1"$8)622$>*2;

2*-6&:$),"<4$5,"$8/&$8)%1)"'$)*$8")$*&$),"$'"8"1)$,*16;

26."$%$0837,"'"267$+*-2$*> $1%6&+*-$8,"1+")$<"2)6&:4$(";

%)*&$+":%&$)*$2**.$+*1"'$%&'$6&$&""'$>*1$8*<"$8)6</2%;

)6*&4$D8$),"3$+":%&$)*$"&)"1$C%2%0%6E$("%)*&$'"76'"'$6)$

-%8$)6<"$>*1$%$+""14$D22$*> $),68$'16=6&:$,%'$<%'"$,6<$

"%:"1$)*$"&)67"$,68$0%22")$%&'$7**2$,68$8"&8"8$-6),$%$)%22$

:2%88$*> $%2"4$

("%)*&$8%6'$>**268,234

5,"3$0/22"'$6&$*&$%$'"71"06)E$+1*."&$'*-&$8%2**&$*&$

),"$86'"$*> $),"$1*%'$-6),$%$>"-$)1/7.8$%&'$8*<"$+6."8$

0%1."'$*/)$>1*&)4$5,"$-6&'*-98$&"*&$26:,)8$"=*."'$%&$

6&"+16%)"'$71*-'$%&'$7,"%0$8"#4$5,"$S/8)%&:$0%1."'$

*/)$ >1*&)$ *> $ ),"$ '61)3$ +%1$ %&'$ +*),$!"#$ %&'$("%)*&$

:*)$*/)$%)$),"$8%<"$)6<"E$+*),$7*-+*3$+**)8$71/8,6&:$

6&$),"$'68)%&7"4$5,"3$82*-23$%&'$7/16*/823$-%2."'$/0$)*$

0%61$*> $"#)1%$8,*1)$8,*1)8$%&'$%$01*=*7%)6="$7/)$-"8)"1&$

8,61)$ 1"="%2"'$<*1"$ 8.6&$ ),%&$*&"8$ 6<%:6&%)6*&$7*/2'$

"="&$6<%:6&"$:1"")"'$),"<4$T,"$8%6'K

%1<$ %1*/&'$ ("%)*&4$ T,"$ ),"&$ )/1&"'$ %1*/&'$ %&'$

'1*00"'$ ,"1$ 2608)67.E$ %&'$ +"&)$ *="1$ '61"7)23$ 6&$ >1*&)$

*> $("%)*&4$5,68$%7)6*&$-%8$1%),"1$"&)676&:$)*$("%)*&$

-,*$-%8$%21"%'3$)*$'16&.$%)$),68$<*<"&)$%&3-%384$!"#$

'6="1)"'$("%)*&98$%))"&)6*&$%8$,"$,"%'"'$6&86'"4$C,"&$

),"3$ *0"&"'$ ),"$ '**1$ -,67,$ -%8$ 6&$ &""'$ >*1$ 8*<"$

0%6&)E$"="13$86&:2"$0"18*&$6&$),"$+%1$01*7""'"'$)*$2**.$

%)$ ),"<4$5,"$8%2**&$-%8$7*<>*1)%+23$1**<3$+/)$&%1;

1*-$ 6&86'"E$ 6)8$ '6<"&86*&8$-"1"$ 1"7)%&:/2%1$ 6&$ 8,%0"4$

5,"1"$-%8$%$0**2$)%+2"$2*7%)"'$*&$),"$2">)$86'"$*> $),"$

'**1$-6),$O$+6."18$02%36&:E$-6),$="13$2*&:$,%61$%&'$%&$

%11%3$*> $)%))**8$*&$),"61$%1<84$L&$),"$16:,)$-"1"$%$>"-$

)%+2"8$-6),$ 8*<"$ )1/7."18$'16&.6&:$-6),$-,%)$ 8""<"'$

-%8$'61"7)23$ 6&$ >1*&)$*> $ ),"<$-%8$%$ 2*&:$+"%1'"'$+%1$

)"&'"1$-6),$%$+%2'$,"%'E$ %$ >"-$ >%6123$ %))1%7)6="$ 8-6&:;

"18E$%&'$%$>"-$2*&"23$'1/&.84$L&$),"$>%1$2">)$),"1"$-%8$

%$I/."+*#$%&'$%$+%),1**<$"&)1%&7"$-6),$%$<%&$-6),$%&$

1"86'/"$*> $+""1$80622"'$%&'$),"$%61$+/1&"'$),"$&*8)1628$

-6),$%$),67.$2%3"1$*> $8<*."4$5,"$%-.-%1'$862"&7"$'6'&9)$

8""<$)*$>16:,)"&$!"#$*1$("%)*&$%8$),"3$-%2."'$*="1$%&'$

8%)$%)$),"$+%1$8)**284$5,"$+%1$)"&'"1$8%6'K

$

@&$),"$+%7.:1*/&'$%)$%$ )%+2"$ 268)"&6&:$="13$7%1">/223$%$

)1/7."1$8%6'$/&'"1$,68$+1"%),K

D&*),"1$'"%'$862"&7"$-%8$6&$),"$1**<$%8$),"$+%1)"&'"1$

0*/1"'$ ),"$ 67"$ 7*2'$+1"-8$ 6&)*$ ),"$ 7,622"'$</:84$Y=;

"13*&"$ %)$ ),"$ +%1$ -%8$ -%6)6&:$ 6&$ %&)6760%)6*&$ >*1$ ),"$

1"80*&8"$*> $!"#4$C6),$ %$ ="13$ 82*-$ )/1&$*> $ ,68$ &"7.E$

3*/$7*/2'$,"%1$),"$8*/&'$*> $!"#98$&"7.$+*&"8$71%7.$%8$

,"$)/1&"'$%1*/&'4$F"$0%/8"'$>*1$%$<*<"&)$%8$),"$>%)$

'16="1$-%8$0%7.6&:$,"%)$%&'$1"%'3$)*$8,**)$%)$%&3$<*;

<"&)4$!"#$>/223$)/1&"'$%1*/&'E$%&'$82*-23$:*)$/0$8)%16&:$

'61"7)23$%)$),"$*+"8"$)1/7.$'16="14$F"$%88"1)6="23$-%2."'$

'"+168$-6),$,68$+**)E$-,"1"$,"$,%2)"'$%)$),"$)%+2"4$

PY#7/8"$<"$<3$ :**'$<%&E$ -,%)$ '6'$ 3*/$ ,%00"&$ )*$

5,"$ )1/7."1$ 2**."'$1%),"1$'/<+>*/&'"'$%&'$ 2%/:,"'$

%8$,"$)**.$*&"$2%8)$860$*> $,68$%2"$-,67,$80622"'$*&$,68$

8,61)$%8$,"$82*00"'$6)$'*-&4$F"$7,/7.2"'$%:%6&$)/1&6&:$

*> $,68$8"%)$-6),$I/8)$,68$2">)$,%&'$%&'$),1"-$),"$)1/7."1$

/0$ 6&$ ),"$ %614$ !"#$ ),"&$ 2"%0"'E$ 7*7.6&:$ ,68$ %1<$+%7.$

%8$6> $,"$-%8$7,%1:6&:$/0$-6),$8*<"$)30"$*> $"&"1:34$D$

8<%22$-,6)"$%/1%$76172"'$,6<$>*1$%$+16"> $8"7*&'$%&'$,"$

8/1:"'$%$'"=%8)%)6&:23$>/16*/8$0/&7,$%)$),"$)1/7."14$5,"$

;

&%223$<%'"$7*&)%7)$-6),$),"$-6&'*-4$F68$+*'3$"#0"22"'$

*/)$),"$-6&'*-$%&'$6&)*$),"$0%1.6&:$2*)$-,"1"$6)$-%8$

,"%1'$)/<+26&:$%$>"-$"#)1%$>"")4$D22$),68$*77/11"'$6&$%$

26:,)&6&:$>%8)$<*="$),%)$-%8$%2<*8)$6&$82*-$<*)6*&$'/"$

)*$),"$8"1*)*&6&$2"="28$6&71"%8"8$6&$"="13*&"98$+1%6&4$!"#$

8)**'$),"1"$6&$),"$167*7,")$*> $862"&7"$),%)$>"22$/0*&$),"$

1**<E$%&'$),"&$,"$01*7""'"'$)*$-%2.$+%7.$)*$),"$+%1$

%8$6> $&*),6&:$,%'$,%00"&"'4$D8$6> $6)$-%8$8*<"$.6&'$*> $

0%&67E$ ),"$ 0"*02"$ 6&$ ),"$ 1**<$ 7*&)6&/"'$ )*$ '*$-,%)$

),"3$,%'$+""&$'*6&:$%8$-"22E$6&$>"%1$*> $!"#$%&&6,62%)6&:$

/0$ *&$ ),"61$<%&E$-,*$ 01*+%+23$ &""'"'$ %$ 0%1%<"'67E$

*1$)-*4$D>)"1$),"$-%."$*> $),"$,"1*67$"="&)$("%)*&$>"2)$

*+26:"'$)*$"&:%:"$6&$'1/&."&$7*&="18%)6*&$-6),$!"#4$

;

>%7"4$!"#$2**."'$/&6&)"1"8)"'$6&$-,%)$,"$,%'$)*$8%3$%&'$

7*&)6&/"'$)*$0**1$'*-&$,68$*%)<"%2$8)*/)$),%)$2**."'$

Q/6)"$ '"2676*/84$ 5,"$ 01*=*7%)6="$ '1"88"'$ -*<%&$ ),%)$

:1"")"'$),"<$*/)86'"$<%'"$,"1$-%3$6&$-6),$%$>"-$)1/7.;

"18$7,"7.6&:$,"1$*/)4$T,"$-%2."'$/0$)*$("%)*&$%&'$!"#$

%&'$8%)$16:,)$*&$("%)*&98$2%04

T,"$8%6'E$2**.6&:$%)$!"#4

-6&.6&:$)*$("%)*&4$T,"$Q/67.23$)/1&"'$,"1$>%7"$)*$(";

%)*&98$'61"7)6*&$%&'$ 2**."'$,6<$16:,)$ 6&$ ),"$"3"84$T,"$

-%8$*&23$%+*/)$O$6&7,"8$>1*<$,68$>%7"$8)622$86))6&:$*&$,68$

-,62"$267.6&:$,"1$2608$6&$%$<*8)$<%2676*/8$<%&&"14$F"1$

"3"8$-"1"$%$7138)%2$+2/"$86<62%1$)*$%$-*2> 98$"3"$%&'$-"1"$

+2*&'$,%61$),%)$-%8$826:,)23$-%=3E$-6),$%$>"-$7/128E$%&'$

%$'%+$*> $>1"7.2"8$*&$,"1$>%7"4$("%)*&$+"7*<6&:$Q/6)"$

>*&'$*> $),"$%))"&)6*&$8,"$-%8$:6=6&:$,6<$%'I/8)"'$,6<;

8"2> $*&$),"$8)**2$-6),$%$&"1=*/8$)-6)7,4$

PW*/$,%="$8*<"),6&:$%+*/)$3*/$),%)$>""28$'6>>"1"&)H

;

8)%&)$),%)$!"#98$6<<%7/2%)"$6&)"22"7)$.67."'$6&E$%&'$)*2'$

,6<$ 8*<"),6&:$-%8$-1*&:4$ M*),$ ),"$ 01*=*7%)6="$ :612$

%&'$ !"#$ >"2)$ %$ 7*2'$ =6+1%)6*&$ 8)61$ ),1*/:,$ ),"$ 1**<4$

T,"$ 2**."'$ %)$ !"#$-6),$ %$ +6)$ *> $ =","<"&7"$ %&'$!"#$

6&8)%&)23$.&"-4$T,"$),"&$2**."'$("%)*&$6&$),"$"3"$%&'$

8,"$>*/&'$-,%)$8,"$-%8$2**.6&:$>*14$@&$),%)$6&8)%&)E$,"1$

)M9)(8$&#0&,&%"#($&%$#(/&9#-$+-.)*&0(#H&[%%.)&QV&:/&B/A)(&;,2A+,(*+

22./.=)($&'(!&$ !"#$%&%'()*+&,-+.22./.=)($&'(!&$

"3"8$7,%&:"'$ )*$%$:2*-6&:$3"22*-$%8$ 8,"$-"&)$ )*$.688$

,68$&"7.E$ %$ 8"10"&)$ 26."$ )*&:/"$'1"-$ >*/1),$ >1*<$,"1$

-6),$,68$16:,)$,%&'E$I/<0"'$6&$),"$%61$-6),$),"$%/1%$*> $

-,6)"$26:,)$:2*-6&:$%1*/&'$,68$+*'3$%&'$82%<<"'$,"1$

+*'3$),1*/:,$%$&"%1+3$)%+2"$+1"%.6&:$6)$6&$,%2>4$

@&$ ),%)$ ="13$<*<"&)E$ ),"$ '**1$ 7%<"$ +/18)6&:$ '*-&4$

D&$""16"$5/2"$>*:$<%'"$6)8$-%3$6&$),"$'**1$%8$),"$1**<$

;

%+2"$)*$),"$&%."'$"3"4$D8$),"3$)**.$%$>16:,)"&6&:$8)"0$

6&)*$),"$+%1$6)$-%8$"=6'"&)$),%)$),"3$-"1"$+6."18$'/"$)*$

),"61$+**)84$D8$ ),"$>*:$72"%1"'E$%&$ 6&86'6*/8$7,%1%7)"1$

8)**'$%)$),"$:%06&:$<*/),$*> $),"$1**<4$F68$&%<"$-%8$

+2%7.$,%614$F"$-*1"$+2%7.$8,%'"8E$,%'$%$'%1.$)%&E$%&'$%$

),67.$+"%1'4$F68$</872"8$-"1"$="13$ 2%1:"$%&'$7*="1"'$

-6),$ '6%+*267$ )%))**84$ M",6&'$ ,6<$ 8)**'$ %$ 71"-$ *> $ U$

<"&$*> $"Q/%2$8)%)/1"E$%22$'1"88"'$6&$G%:*8$I%7.")84

D)$),%)$<*<"&)$("%)*&$-%8$8)%&'6&:$%)$),"$+%1$7*<;

@&$),%)$<*<"&)E$("%)*&$>"%1"'$),%)$!"#$-%8$*/)$&/<;

+"1"'E$ 8*$,"$'"76'"'$ )*$01%3$ )*$Z*'$ ),%)$T)4$S67,%"2$

-*/2'$ '">"&'$ ),"<$ 6&$ +%))2"4$D8$ ,"$ 01%3"'E$ ,"$ ,"20;

2"8823$."0)$ ),6&.6&:$ ),%)$ ),"3$-"1"$'**<"'E$ ),%)$,*-$

-*/2'$ %&$ 6&=686+2"$ 7,%1%7)"1$ 0*886+23$ 8%="$ ),"<$ >1*<$

1"%2$)"11*1E$6&$1"%2$26>"4$

),"$M/16%2E$%&'$02%3"'$%&*),"1$71/8,6&:23$,"%=3$+1"%.;

+2**'$ 802%))"1"'$ >*1),4$ T%<%"298$ +2**'$-%8$ %$ +2%7.68,$

7*2*1$-6),$8<%22$7138)%2$:1%&/2"8$ 6&$ 6)4$C6),$%$7*/&)"1$

0/&7,E$T%<%"2$'"26="1"'$%$<"%&$/00"17/)$)*$!"#98$I%-E$

-,"1"$ %$ )1%7"$ *> $ 0/1"$ -,6)"$ +2**'$ -6),$ 8,6<<"16&:$

7138)%28$ 8,*)$ /04$5,"3$ +":%&$ )*$ ),1*-$ >%8)$ %))%7.8$ %)$

"%7,$*),"1E$-6),$"="&$>%8)"1$+2*7.8$%&'$7*/&)"1$<*="84$

!"#$7,"7."'$T%<%"2$-6),$,68$8,*/2'"1$>/16*/823$%&'$T%;

%&'$7,%6184$Y="13*&"$"28"$),%)$-%8$&*)$6&=*2="'$6&$),"$

8*<"*&"$ "28"4$ T%<%"298$ <6&6*&8$ :1%++"'$ !"#$ +3$ ,68$

%1<8$8*$),%)$,"$7*/2'$&*)$0*886+23$<*="4$T%<%"2$),"&$

0*-"1"'$/0$%&'$:%6&"'$%$+2%7.$%/1%$%1*/&'$,68$+*'34$

F"$0/22"'$%$<%7,")"$*/)$ >1*<$,68$ I%7.")$%&'$7,%1:"'$

>"1*76*/823$%)$!"#$-,*$-%8$,"202"88$%)$),68$0*6&)4$5,"$

)6<"$ ,%'$ 7*<02")"23$ 8)**'$ 8)622$ %8$ "="13*&"$ -%)7,"'$

6&$ )"11*1$ ),6&.6&:$ ),"$-*18)4$ ?6="$ >"")$ +">*1"$ ,"$ ,%'$

1"%7,"'$!"#E$,"$'*="$6&)*$),"$%61$%&'$1%68"'$),"$<%7,")"$

*="1$,68$,"%'$ 871"%<6&:$*/)$ 6&$ %$ 2*/'$7134$5,"$+2%'"$

<%'"$ 7*&)%7)$-6),$!"#98$ >*1","%'E$-,"&$ 8/''"&23$ %22$

'**1-%3$'1"88"'$6&$%&$%22$-,6)"$8/6)E$'"=%8)%)6&:23$,%&';

8*<"$2**.8E$+2%7.$8,%'"8E$%&'$2*&:$8267."'$+%7.$+2*&'$

,%614$F"$,%'$%&$6<<"&8"23$2%1:"$-,6)"$%/1%$761726&:$,6<4$

F68$<*="<"&)8$%71*88$),"$1**<$-"1"$&"%123$/&'")"7);

%+2"[$3*/$7*/2'$<%."$*/)$),"$+2/113$26&"$>1*<$-,"1"$,"$

,%'$+""&$%$<*<"&)$%:*$%8$6> $6)$-%8$%$72*/'$*> $8<*."$

<*=6&:$%71*88$),"$1**<4$F"$2"%0"'$:1%7">/223$6&)*$),"$

%61$-,"1"$,68$%/1%$+"7%<"$%$1%'6%&)$-,6)"$),%)$-%8$%8$

6&)"&8"$ %8$ ),"$ 8/&$ 6)8"2>4$F"$ '"26="1"'$ %$ 0/&7,$ /0*&$

T%<%"2$),%)$-%8$8*$'"=%8)%)6&:$),%)$%$8,*7.$-%="$8,%);

)"1"'$"="13$-6&'*-$6&$),"$+/62'6&:4$T%<%"2$%&'$,68$<%;

7,")"$>"22$)*$),"$:1*/&'$%&'$8*$'6'$,68$<6&6*&84$C,"&$

)6<"$7*&)6&/"'$%>)"1$),"$8,*7.-%="$,6)E$T%<%"2$%&'$,68$

0/22"'$*/)$%$<6:,)3$8-*1'$:2*-6&:$-6),$%$0"1>"7)$-,6)"$

%/1%$%&'$8%6'K

!"#$ -%8$ +2""'6&:$ >1*<$ ,68$ >*1","%'$ -6),$ %$ :%06&:$

+2**'$82*-23$8)%1)"'$)*$'160$>1*<$,68$-*/&'E$,"$2**."'$

*="1$ %)$("%)*&$-,*$-%8$ 6&$ 8,*7.4$("%)*&$.&"-$ ),%)$

),"3$*&23$,%'$%$>"-$8"7*&'8$2">)$+">*1"$),"3$7*/2'$"8;

7%0"$ 8%>"234$ @&$ ),68$-6&'*-$*> $ )6<"E$("%)*&$ %&'$!"#$

+*2)"'$>*1$),"$'**14$!**.6&:$+%7.$("%)*&$8%-$),"$<%&$

6&$%22$-,6)"$2**.$*="1$%)$,6<$%&'$,"$>"2)$%$1/8,$*> $0*86;

1/&&6&:4$D8$),"3$)*1"$*/)$*> $),"$0%1.6&:$2*)E$'/8)$+2"-$

%&'$71"%)"'$%$,/:"$72*/'$6&$),"61$)1%624$D$-,6)"$'*="$-%8$

;

\N$V$ )*-%1'$!%8$G":%84$ @)$-%8$ %$+"%/)6>/2$ 8)1")7,$*> $

1*%'$),%)$-"&)$*&$>*1$<62"8$%&'$<62"84$5,"$<**&$8)622$

,/&:$6&$),"$8.3$7%8)6&:$'*-&$6)8$6=*13$26:,)8$/0*&$),"61$

8&*-$-,6)"$S/8)%&:4$5,"1"$-%8$%$0"%7">/2$ >""26&:$ )*$

),"$'"8"1)$&6:,)E$%&'$),"3$>"2)$>1""$*&7"$%:%6&4$("%)*&$

1"<6&687"'$ %+*/)$ ),"$ +1%-2$ %)$ ),"$ 8%2**&E$ %&'$ ,*-$

),%)$<38)"16*/8$<%&$,%'$8%="'$+*),$*> $),"61$26="84$F"$

)/1&"'$*="1$)*$!"#$-,*$-%8$'16=6&:$%&'$-,*$-%8$<6;

1%7/2*/823$,"%2"'$>1*<$,68$+%))2"$87%14$5,"3$+*),$2**."'$

%)$ "%7,$ *),"1$ %&'$ .&"-$-,%)$ "%7,$ *),"1$-"1"$ ),6&.;

6&:$%&'$8<62"'$8/+)234$D8$ ),"3$0/22"'$*&$/0$%)$]*2%&$

T016&:8E$ ),"3$ 8)*00"'$ %)$ %$ +"%)$ '*-&$ *2'$<*)"2$ ),%)$

-*/2'$%2-%38$,%="$=%7%&734$5,"3$*0"&"'$),"$7*<>*1);

6&:$+/)$2*/83$<*)"2$1**<$'**1$%&'$6<<"'6%)"23$-"&)$

-%8$Q/67.23$'1%-&$)*$,68$8/+7*&876*/8$%-%1"&"88$-,"1"$

,"$-%8$ +1*/:,)$ )*$ %$ =68/%2$ 02%&"$*> $-,6)"&"88$ %:%6&4$

5,"$%/1%$-%8$8*$+16:,)$),68$)6<"$),%)$,"$7*/2'$%2<*8)$

8""$6&)*$6)4

!"#$%&'()*+#,-.*/%,,"0,!"#"$%&'(')'$*'++,$-+./01,&2$34'254),$67%389:;<=37>?$@=7%A?$B3>=%;B

1/23*4*56278C7BD$E$7FF$;708B$G$CA%BAF8B

2'++$H!IJIIEJ"HH#

9/2::;<;87

Bloodshed . . . cont.

>'&()%#.86*(8./.23!"#$%&'()%(*%+!(,-.%!/)"(-!)/01"(-)((+23"&"!-)/%&40%56

We’ve all had to

block a person or two on our social media accounts. “The Facebook stalker,” “the

obsessive twitter follower,” or my personal favorite “that jerk who writes ‘this song sucks’ on your favorite song every few comments.” I deal with people like that all the time just like you and it makes me sick! And the sad fact is this infestation is only get-ting worse. It’s like a sickness on your computer, some sort of “computer virus” that e!ects your enjoyment of wasting time.

Dear readers, I’m talking about your favorite “key board warriors.” Those people that hide behind a keyboard because they are afraid of the real world consequences of their words, it is pure cowardice. I cannot tell you how many times I hear “I turned o! my Facebook because I don’t need all

that drama.” Those keyboard war-riors out there in Internet-land are in honesty e!ecting our individual en-joyment of the space they share with unequipped Internet civilians. Imagine, if you will, a world where everything you said over the internet were said to that person out loud in real time. After the millions and millions of people finished laugh-ing, because frankly LOL is said after almost anything these days; it’d be an awkward place. And I’m not just talk-ing about the people laughing after they say something accidental like “I’m sorry your cat died LOL.” A lot of people would be put in horrible posi-tions. Nobody would be able to get a word in edgewise due to our constant stream of information, comments, likes and statuses. Not to mention just the amount of cowardice behind some of these comments.

Scarily enough if the comments on the internet became the real life spo-ken word, we as humans would be in

a constant state of terror. The sheer amount of people that say they would kill maim or mutilate another indi-vidual online is just as intimidating as it is impressive. Think to yourself would you trust your neighbor if he said out loud to you “I hope he gets an (expletive) in his (expletive) mouth and dies,” while talking about a film director. By the way your neighbor is saying this about several people several times a day. On the o! chance that they did meet a rather phallic demise, you would be an accessory to murder. Outside of my imaginary world there is a truth that these keyboard war-riors have the scathing words and burning insults spread between friends and strangers can have real life consequences. Reading through the comments by these crusaders of the keyboard are just perpetuations of negativity that more often than anything. In some cases like the re-cent controversy involving Rue from the Hunger Games the negativity

gets national attention and exposes these keyboard warriors as the bigots hey think they aren’t. Sadly though having a keyboard as your weapon of choice can also have e!ects on the targets of these attacks. In an age of Anti Bullying Campaigns in schools and on the TV set, more and more keyboard warriors are turning up. Do you know what the di!erence be-tween a bully and a key board warrior is? Absolutely nothing. They’re both cowards that hide behind a fallacy of power in order to intentionally hurt another person. So this week I implore the keyboard warriors of the world to please stop being cowards and put down the keyboards. If you don’t have anything nice to say just don’t say it. But if you absolutely want to tell Floyd May-weather he’s an expletive that you wish would die by choking on some-thing, say it to his face and tell me the results.

Parting Shots

The ‘G’ Word :/&&U(+-&S+AA+%

The Keyboard is Weaker Than the Sword :/&',(A$#-&C(#9J&[[[

I never had Senioritis in

high school. While my friends skipped class to hang out in the library (ironic,

no?), I sat through four AP classes and even came into school an hour early to study. I’m not joking about that. I actually came into school early to study. Isn’t that sick? What was I thinking?

I suppose that’s why I’ve been hit with a particularly bad strain of Senioritis now. Instead of taking notes, I play Scrabble on my Kindle. Instead of doing homework, I look at James Van Der Memes. Instead of going to class, I watch episodes of Parks & Recre-ation that I’ve already seen a thou-sand times. I literally do nothing—and it’s becoming more and more okay with me. Talking to other seniors makes me realize that they’re feel-ing the same. My best friend recently was inflicted with Senioritis, and she’s a Fulbright Scholar (I’m sorry for this

shameless Thawab Shibly plug, she’s just so awesome. For more, see my senior send o!! Another shameless plug. This isn’t me. I’m sorry!). The impossible last week of school feels as redundant as my neighbor’s forty second Build-A-Bear. Can’t we just be done? Can’t they just leave us alone? Can I get a holla from 2012? No? Okay, that’s fine. A lot of people say that I’m just hav-ing ‘end of semester’ jitters, but this feels di!erent. Usually, at the end

of a semester, I’m in fully-fledged paranoia, with finals and papers and grades whispering in my ear. Now, I don’t hear anything, even though I’m pretty sure those things are shouting at me and dancing in front of me. I can’t be bothered with anything. I was feeling okay about that, for a while, until I realized that grad school is just around the corner and after that— Oh crap. PLEASE DON’T LET ME GRADUATE I’M NOT READY FOR THIS.