Victim-Proofing Your Victim-Proofing Your ChildChild

Presented by:Presented by:

SEDNET 7b staffSEDNET 7b staff

Paula Ferrell and Janean Knight Paula Ferrell and Janean Knight

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Have You Ever Been Bullied?Have You Ever Been Bullied?

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What Is Bullying?What Is Bullying?

Deliberate and hurtfulDeliberate and hurtful Repeated over timeRepeated over time Characterized by a relationship involving an imbalance of Characterized by a relationship involving an imbalance of

power, such as size or popularitypower, such as size or popularity

Bullying can-- Be physical, verbal, emotional, social, behavioral, or any combination. -- Occur on the bus, at school, at after-school activities,

and even online via the Internet.

Bullying is any behavior that is

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What is the Difference Between Bullying What is the Difference Between Bullying and Good-Natured Joking?and Good-Natured Joking?

Is Is intentionallyintentionally hurtfulhurtful.. Happens Happens rrepeatedlyepeatedly.. Involves an Involves an imbalanceimbalance of power, real of power, real

or perceived, between the bully and or perceived, between the bully and the victim.the victim.

Bullying

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Not Every Negative Interaction Not Every Negative Interaction Between Children is BullyingBetween Children is Bullying

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Bully Proofing verses Victim ProofingBully Proofing verses Victim Proofing

Bully ProofingBully ProofingVictims rely on school Victims rely on school

staff and student staff and student bystanders to protect bystanders to protect themthem

Staff creates a victim Staff creates a victim mentalmental

Punish the bullies only Punish the bullies only making them more making them more angry or vengefulangry or vengeful

Victim ProofingVictim ProofingVictims learn to solve Victims learn to solve

problems on their ownproblems on their own

Gets rid of victim mentalityGets rid of victim mentality

Defused bullying so there is no Defused bullying so there is no retaliationretaliation

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Witnesses are Victims TooWitnesses are Victims Too

Vicarious Victim- One who is not directly Vicarious Victim- One who is not directly involved in the activityinvolved in the activity

May think the bully will target themMay think the bully will target them Afraid of going to school in fear of the bullyAfraid of going to school in fear of the bully Difficult for the vicarious victim to report Difficult for the vicarious victim to report

since the bullying is not happening directly to since the bullying is not happening directly to themthem

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Steps To Take To Victim Proof My Steps To Take To Victim Proof My ChildChild

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ResilienceResilience

The means to adapt to life’s misfortunes and The means to adapt to life’s misfortunes and setbackssetbacks

One can bounce back from bad times and be One can bounce back from bad times and be yourselfyourself

If one lacks resilience, tendency is to dwell on If one lacks resilience, tendency is to dwell on problems, feel victimized and overwhelmedproblems, feel victimized and overwhelmed

Good News: Resilience can be learnedGood News: Resilience can be learned

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How You Can Help Your How You Can Help Your Child/Adolescent Become ResilientChild/Adolescent Become Resilient

Spend quality time teaching, training and Spend quality time teaching, training and exhibiting positive habits and valuesexhibiting positive habits and values

Model positive attitudes and positive emotionsModel positive attitudes and positive emotions Express love and gratitudeExpress love and gratitude Appropriately express all emotionsAppropriately express all emotions Model fitness in body and mindModel fitness in body and mind Foster competencyFoster competency

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How Your Child Can Become More How Your Child Can Become More Resilient to Bullying Resilient to Bullying

Help Develop Talents and Positive AttributesHelp Develop Talents and Positive Attributes Encourage Your Child To Make Contact with Encourage Your Child To Make Contact with

Friendly StudentsFriendly Students Help Your Child Put the Problem in Help Your Child Put the Problem in

Perspective and Not Take it PersonallyPerspective and Not Take it Personally Teach Your Child Safety StrategiesTeach Your Child Safety Strategies Nurture a positive self viewNurture a positive self view

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Help Your Child Become Resilient Help Your Child Become Resilient Against BullyingAgainst Bullying

Teach your child problem solving skillsTeach your child problem solving skills Encourage your child to develop friendshipsEncourage your child to develop friendships Teach your child safety strategiesTeach your child safety strategies Teach your child positive social skillsTeach your child positive social skills

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Tips During a Bullying IncidentTips During a Bullying Incident

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Help Your Child Cope with the Help Your Child Cope with the SituationSituation

Once your child shares a bullying incident Once your child shares a bullying incident assure emotions are in controlassure emotions are in control

Look for the facts of the situation, what, where Look for the facts of the situation, what, where when and howwhen and how

Are there any patterns to the behaviorsAre there any patterns to the behaviors Investigate strategies your child can useInvestigate strategies your child can use Pick the most appropriate solutionPick the most appropriate solution Give powerGive power

RememberRemember

You Are Your Child’s Most You Are Your Child’s Most Important TeacherImportant Teacher

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ResourcesResources

www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov www.Teachingtolerance.org www.cyberbullying.us

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““Human beings figure out somewhat more of Human beings figure out somewhat more of their true direction, not by the high stars, but their true direction, not by the high stars, but by stubbing their toes on things stuck in the by stubbing their toes on things stuck in the mud they are slogging through”mud they are slogging through”

-Carolyn Gratton-Carolyn Gratton