Using WRAP to Develop a Strong System of Support

Mary Ellen Copeland PhDThe Copeland Center for Wellness and Recovery

Sponsored in partnership with Essential Learning

December 16, 2009

Continuing Education Credits

Continuing Education credit is provided through the Mary Ellen Copeland’s partnership with Essential Learning, an approved CE provider.

Essential Learning, LLC is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. Essential Learning, LLC maintains responsibility for this program and its content.

Available Accredited CEUs:APA, ANCC, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC

This information in this webinar will be useful to people who:

have developed and use their own WRAP

lead WRAP groups

work with people who use WRAP as their guide to recovery

want to develop and keep a strong system of support

It will be helpful if you need to answer questions from:

people you are working with and supporting

WRAP group participants

people attending follow up support groups and recovery groups

Earliest studies (1988-1994)

showed the importance of

support in working toward

Wellness and Recovery.

Later studies provided more data on how to develop and keep a strong support system.

They also addressed the importance of enjoying time alone.

People who had strong support systems and enjoyed being alone had few issues with loneliness and seemed to have greater success as they worked on their recovery.

As you work through the WRAP process

for developing and keeping a strong

support system, add in tools and

strategies that help you enjoy and

even crave time alone.

Before we begin working on

specifically on developing a WRAP

for building and keeping support, I

want to share with you some key

points I have learned about support

through my studies.

Support from family, friends, and care

providers promotes wellness and recovery.

Being effectively supported helps people

feel better and enriches their lives.

People in recovery benefit from

having at least five good friends or

supporters.

Someone to talk and share with

Companionship/to have a good time

Help in figuring things out and making decisions

Someone to take over and keep you safe when you can’t take care of yourself

These are people who:

Care about you

Empathize with you

Affirm and validate you and your experience

Accept you as you are

Listen to you and share with you

Advocate for you

Enjoy sharing fun and interesting

activities with you

Make decisions for you when you can’t do

this for yourself

Are willing to follow your predetermined

plans

Good Supporters

Listen, listen, listen

Empathize, empathize, empathize

They know that unasked for

advice, criticism and judgments

won’t help and will make the

other person feel worse.

You may have to educate your supporters about what you want and need.

And ask them what they want and need from you in return.

Relationship Enhancers

Positive Self Esteem

Taking good care of yourself

Mutuality

Respecting boundaries

Keeping in touch

Treating others with unconditional

high regard

Avoiding people who treat you badly

Using "I" statements

Listening well, sometimes to the

same story over and over

Being clear about what you can

listen to and what you can't

Accepting the other person's view of

reality

Staying with someone when they are

having a hard time

Relationship Spoilers

Feeling that others won't like you

Not taking good care of yourself

Treating others badly

Acting in ways that may be embarrassing to

others

Being needy and draining

Interrupting

Sharing "I can top that stories"

Giving advice

Criticism, judgment, sarcasm, Put Downs

Dragging Up the Past

Labels

Negative Comparisons, Badmouthing Others

Threats, Taunting, Ridicule

Judgmental “you” messages

Rudeness

Breaking confidentiality

One Person Doing All the Talking

“Know It All” Behavior

Wanting You to be only Their Friend

Flirting with Your Partner

Controlling Behavior

Not Wanting to be Seen with You in Public Places

Clinging or Very Needy Behavior

Inappropriate Sexual Talk

Supportive Statements

I am here for you.

I care.

What happened?

I am sorry that happened to you.

That sounds really hard.

I'm here to listen

How can we work together so you can feel

better.

Begin by taking very small steps, gradually expanding your circle of supporters:

1. Start by sharing more openly with one person you know very well.

2. Invite that person to share an activity with you.

3. When you feel ready, choose another person with whom you are willing to share

4. A next step might be going to a peer center or support group.

5. Gradually share more openly with people in the group.

6. If you become uncomfortable with a person or a group, choose others to be supporters.

WRAP Wellness Toolbox

Daily Maintenance Plan

Triggers and an action plan

Early warning signs and an action plan

When things are breaking down and an

action plan

Crisis Planning

Post Crisis Planning

Using WRAP You Decide

When you develop it

How long you take

What you put in it

When you revise it

How you use it in your life

Wellness Toolbox

Who can be your supporters

Connecting with supporters

Beginning and maintaining relationships

Being with supporters

Activities with supporters

Things to do alone

Who can be your supporters

Family membersFriendsColleaguesPeersHealth care providers

In choosing supporters:

Avoid limiting your options.

Supporters can be any age, shape,

size, sex, sexual orientation, and

from any religious, cultural, ethnic,

educational or economic background.

Support groups and peer support

centers are great places to meet

potential supporters.

Connecting with Supporters

Where did you meet people who are now your friends?

Community activities

Support groups

Volunteering

Work

Special interest groups

Religious and spiritual activities

Educational activities

Neighbors

Beginning and Maintaining Relationships

Reaching out

Introducing yourself

Chatting

Arranging to get together

Phone call check-ins

Staying connected

Respecting boundaries

Being with Supporters

Listening

Sharing

Empathizing

Peer counseling/exchange listening

Check-ins

Problem solving

Supporting through hard times

Using "I" Statements

Respecting boundaries

Activities with Supporters

Cooking

Sports

Exercise

Movies, plays, concerts

Talking

Eating

Things to Do Alone

Creative arts

Writing

Music

Exercise

Reading

Decorating your living space

Gardening

Fixing things

Meditation

Add new tools that have to do with support whenever you notice or discover them

Loneliness Book

Winning Against Relapse

Self help books

The internet and social networking

sites

Friends and supporters

Care providers

Classes, workshops, seminars, groups

What I am like When I am Well

Think about times in your life when you felt connected with another person or other people and when you didn’t feel lonely.

Make a list, write a story, draw a picture, make a collage that describes what that felt like. If you can’t think of such a time, write how you would like it to be.

Refer to this page whenever you need to be

reminded of what you are working toward,

of what you want to feel like when you

have a strong support system, are using it

well or when you are enjoying spending

time alone.

Daily Maintenance

Which Wellness Tools do you need to use

every day to assure that your support system is strong?

Check-in/reality check

Call at least one friend or family member

Avoid people who treat me badly

Have a meal with a family member

Have a 5 minute exchange listening session

with a supporter

Spend at least 1/2 hour doing something

fun alone

Things I Might Need to Do

Spend more time with supporters

Make an appointment with a care provider

Spend extra time alone

Plan a special activity with a supporter

Arrange a meeting for my supporters

Discuss my Advance Directive with

supporters

Listen and empathize with a friend

Triggers

A disagreement with a friend

Someone treating you badly

No friends being available

A Friend cancelled time together

Being judged or criticized

Ending a relationship

A difficult phone call

Not enough time alone

Triggers Action Plan

Use "I" statements

Respect boundaries

Do a reality check

Talk to a supporter

Exchange listening

1 hour doing something alone I enjoy

Go to a support group meeting

Early Warning Signs

You have less than 5 people on your list

of supporters

You don't want to answer the phone or door

You are feeling needy and desperate

You are impatient with others

You feel hurt someone can't pay attention

to you

You feel like others don't like you

Early Warning Signs Action Plan

2 peer counseling sessions

Call a friend and tell them how you are

feeling--ask for their ideas

Ask a friend to go for a walk with you

Go to a movie by yourself

Do something you do well

Do something nice for someone else

When Things are Breaking Down

You haven't reached out to a supporter in

3 days

You feel like no one likes you

You can't remember who your supporters are

You are rude to a family member

You are very irritable and impatient

When Things are Breaking Down Action Plan

Have a 5 minute check-in with each of my

supporters

Problem solve with supporters

Have a meal with family

Use "I" statements

Treat others with unconditional high regard

Spend at least 2 hours doing something I

enjoy alone

Advance Directive

Supporters are key to the success of the Advance Directive.

Include them in the development of the directive.

Discuss it with them and give them a copy when it is complete.

Give them revised copies as needed.

Choose supporters who are willing to follow your directive.

Do the best you possibly can to be cooperative.

Describe signs that others need to help you clearly so they can be easily understood

Washing my hands for two hours and won't stop

Saying words for 2 hours that others can't

understand

Not recognizing family members

Purposefully breaking furniture

Threatening the safety of others

List your supporters, how to be in touch with them and what you want them to do.

List people you do not want to be involved.

Describe clearly:

What others can do that helps and what does not help

Chores they need to take care of

Specific plans for "staying-at-home"

Indicators that others no longer need to follow the plan

Post Crisis Plan

Your support team is also key in your post crisis plan. You may want to review that with them as well.

List clearly the people you want to assist and support you through the Post Crisis phase.

Be clear about people you need to avoid.

Your support team will be crucial as you

gradually work toward "Resuming

Responsibilities".

Begin using this WRAP for Developing and

Keeping a Strong Support Systems whenever

you want to.

At first you may want to review your plan

everyday, following your Daily Maintenance

Plan, and taking other action as needed.

After a while you will notice that you

remember your plan and only need to refer to it from time to time, unless you are having a difficult time.

At some point, you may want to incorporate this WRAP into your basic WRAP.

Revise your plan when you discover new

Wellness Tools and find that some things

work better for you than others and as the

circumstances of your life change .

Keep lists of your supporters in convenient places

Bedside

Hanging on your refrigerator or bulletin board

Near your phone

Update your list of supporters as it changes.

Work on Developing and Keeping a Strong Support System is on-going over time.

It is well worth the effort.

Get more ideas on Developing and Keeping a Strong Support System

Talk to others who have had similar experiences

Join a support group

Websites: mentalhealthrecovery.com,

wraparoundtheworld.com

Sign up for the newsletter

Take an Online Course

Many, many mental health recovery and WRAP resources including:

The Loneliness Workbook

WRAP Stories

Winning Against Relapse

The Depression Workbook

WRAP books

On Special in December!

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mentalhealthrecovery.com/store

Find us on

Mental Health Recovery & WRAP Group

Copeland Center for Wellness & Recovery

WRAP Facilitators Group

Build Your Own Wrap Online

Creating a Wellness Toolbox, WRAP One on One and

other online mental health recovery and WRAP courses

WRAP resources and information

http://.mentalhealthrecovery.com

Your agency or organization can make "Build Your Own

WRAP Online" and other mental health recovery online

courses more readily available to its staff and the people

it serves.

For more information, go to our partner:

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For information on becoming a Certified

WRAP Facilitator or having a WRAP training

in your area, go to:www.copelandcenter.com

Upcoming Training

Austin, Texas Feb. 1-5, 2010

Boise, Idaho April 12-16, 2010

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