UsingUsing Concrete Concrete

and and Significant Significant

DetailDetail

Creating Mood and ToneCreating Mood and Tone

Describe this:Describe this:

Did you say the pear was yellow? Gold? Gold as the sun? Gold as straw?

Did you say the apple was green? Grass green? Pond algae green?

Was the fruit in a basket? With a handle? Shallow or deep?

Concrete DetailConcrete Detail

• Detail must be Detail must be applicable applicable

to the senses: to the senses: SightSight

TasteTaste

SmellSmell

TouchTouch

HearingHearing

Significant DetailsSignificant Details

Significant details build mood, create Significant details build mood, create tone, or offer judgments.tone, or offer judgments.

Work in place of bland Work in place of bland generalizationsgeneralizations

Operate on “connotations” that are Operate on “connotations” that are developed through a person’ s developed through a person’ s culture and personal experience.culture and personal experience.

Make the reader feel “clever.”Make the reader feel “clever.”

Compare:• He was 60 years old. His

skin was wrinkled and was the color and texture of a walnut shell. His pants were baggy and his shoes scuffed. He was hunched over and he had blue eyes, white tufted hair.

• He had lived and lived. His skin was wrinkled with the etchings of a thousand stars and his eyes were clear enough to see through the dense mysteries of the earth. His hair perpetually stood on end , as if to release the energy that comes from thinking profound and benevolent thoughts.

Which man do you know more about?

Now you try it:Now you try it:

A man walked by the river. He wore no A man walked by the river. He wore no hat. It was sunny.hat. It was sunny.

Revise to make the man…Revise to make the man… Foreboding/ThreateningForeboding/Threatening HeroicHeroic PitifulPitiful

When you want to spin a good When you want to spin a good yarn, use concrete andyarn, use concrete and

significant detail. significant detail.