RGMTTC

Spoken And Presentation Skills – Advanced Level UOM-S004 for the Students of University of Madras

BHARAT SANCHAR NIGAM LIMITED (A Government of India Enterprise)

RAJIV GANDHI MEMORIAL TELECOM TRAINING CENTRE (ISO 9001:2008 Certified)

MEENAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI - 16

INDEX

Contents

Unit I - General Language knowledge and presentation .................................................................. 3

Unit II - Special Language Knowledge and Presentation................................................................. 18

Unit III - General Communications Skills Presentation ................................................................... 40

Unit IV - Professional communication skill for presentation ........................................................... 51

Unit V - Social Communication skills presentation......................................................................... 58

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Unit I - General Language knowledge and presentation

Starting a Presentation

In modern English, Presentations tend to be much less formal than they were even

twenty years ago. Most audience these days prefer a relatively informal approach.

However, there is a certain structure to the opening of a Presentation that you

should observe.

1. Get people's attention

2. Welcome them

3. Introduce yourself

4. State the purpose of your presentation

5. State how you want to deal with questions

Get people's attention

If I could have everybody's attention.

If we can start.

Perhaps we should begin?

Let's get started.

Welcome them

Welcome to University of Madras.

Thank you for coming today.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

On behalf of Intel, I'd like to welcome you.

Introduce yourself

My name's Jane Shaw. I'm responsible for travel arrangements.

For those of you who don't know me, my name's Varun Kumar.

As you know, I'm in charge of public relations.

I'm the new Marketing Manager.

State the purpose of your presentation

This morning I'd like to present our new processor.

Today I'd like to discuss our failures in the Japanese market and suggest a

new approach.

This afternoon, I'd like to report on my study into the German market.

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What I want to do this morning is to talk to you about our new mobile

telephone system.

What I want to do is to tell you about our successes and failures in

introducing new working patterns.

What I want to do is to show you how we've made our first successful steps

in the potentially huge Chinese market.

State how you want to deal with questions.

If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them as we go along.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Perhaps we can leave any questions you have until the end?

There will be plenty of time for questions at the end.

Signposting

When we are giving a presentation, there are certain key words we use to ‘signpost‘

different stages in our presentation. These words are not difficult to learn but it is

absolutely essential that you memorize them and can use them when you are

under pressure giving a presentation.

When you want to make your next point, you ‗move on’.

Moving on to the next point.

I‘d like to move on to the next point if there are no further questions

When you want to change to a completely different topic, you ‗turn to’.

I‘d like to turn to something completely different.

Let‘s turn now to our plans for next year.

When you want to give more details about a topic you ‗expand‘ or ‗elaborate‘.

I‘d like to expand more on this problem we have had in Chicago.

Would you like me to expand a little more on that or have you understood

enough?

I don‘t want to elaborate any more on that as I‘m short of time.

When you want to talk about something which is off the topic of your presentation,

you ‗digress‘.

I‘d like to digress here for a moment and just say a word of thanks to Bob

for organizing this meeting.

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Digressing for a moment, I‘d like to say a few words about our problems in

Chicago.

When you want to refer back to an earlier point, you ‗go back’.

Going back to something I said earlier, the situation in Chicago is serious.

I‘d like to go back to something Jenny said in her presentation.

To just give the outline of a point, you ‘summarize‘.

If I could just summarize a few points from John‘s report.

I don‘t have a lot of time left so I‘m going to summarize the next few points.

To repeat the main points of what you have said, you ‗recap‘.

I‘d like to quickly recap the main points of my presentation.

Recapping quickly on what was said before lunch,……

For your final remarks, you ‗conclude‘.

I‘d like to conclude by leaving you with this thought ……

If I may conclude by quoting Karl Marx …….

Survival Language

In modern English, Presentations tend to be much less formal than they were even

twenty years ago. Most audience these days prefer a relatively informal approach.

However, there is a certain structure to the opening of a Presentation that you

should observe.

I got the language for today's lesson from an excellent book by Mark Powell called

"Presenting in English ".

As you prepare your notes mark in Red in the margin the core ideas that

must be presented no matter what happens. Mark in margin say, Green those

ideas that may be presented

If get a little extra time and dropped if you have to cut presentation short. If the

presentation is more then you may mark margin say, yellow that may be included

during presentation.

If you get your facts wrong.

I am terribly sorry. What I meant to say was this.

Sorry. What I meant is this.

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If you have been going too fast and your audience is having trouble

keeping up with you.

Let me just recap on that.

I want to recap briefly on what I have been saying.

If you have forgotten to make a point.

Sorry, I should just mention one other thing.

If I can just go back to the previous point, there is something else

that I forgot to mention.

If you have been too complicated and want to simplify what you said.

So, basically, what I am saying is this.

So, basically, the point I am trying to get across is this.

If you realize that what you are saying makes no sense.

Sorry, perhaps I did not make that quite clear.

Let me rephrase that to make it quite clear.

If you cannot remember the term in English.

Sorry, what is the word I am looking for?

Sorry, my mind has gone blank. How do you say 'escargot' in

English?

If you are short of time.

So just to give you the main points.

As we are short of time, this is just a quick summary of the main

points.

A Friendly Face

When you stand up in front of that audience, you‘re going to be really nervous.

Poor speakers pay little or no attention to their audience as people. Big mistake.

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If you can see your audience as a group of individuals, you‘ll be much more likely

to connect with those individuals.

Start looking around your audience. See that big guy with his arms folded and an

‗impress me‘ look on his face? Best not to look at him too much. How about that

lady with the big smile, looking encouragingly towards you? OK, that‘s your

mother, she doesn‘t count. But that other lady with a similar smile is someone you

don‘t know. But from now on she‘s your ‗friend‘. Every time that you need any

encouragement, look in her direction. Make good eye contact. Establish a form of

communication between you.

And now you‘ve found one ‗friend‘, you‘ll begin to see others in the audience. Pick

out ‗friends‘ all round the room. If you see an ‗impress me‘ person and get

discouraged, switch your view back to one of your ‗friends‘.

Once you are aware that there are people in your audience who want you to

succeed, you‘ll be much more likely to succeed.

Microphones

Microphones can be a real problem. Very few of us use them frequently and so,

when we have to talk into them in an already nervous state, we can easily make

elementary mistakes.

As a general rule, try to speak more clearly when you are using a microphone. (It

will probably help if you speak a bit more slowly.)

If you have a free-standing mike, step back from it a bit. This will enable you to

speak louder and to vary your tone and inflection. If you are too close, your voice

will sound monotonous and your audience will fall asleep.

Don‘t turn your head away from the microphone while you are speaking. But do

turn it away if you cough or sneeze!

Any little movement you make, such as shuffling your papers, will be amplified by

the mike. Cut out the nervous gestures!

If you are wearing a clip-on mike, make sure it is not rubbing up against some

clothing or jewellery. The noise this makes could ruin your presentation.

If you have a radio-mike, make sure it is switched on when you are presenting and

switched off at all other times. This particularly applies when you go to the

restroom!

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Dealing with Nervousness

Almost everybody is nervous when they stand up to speak. There‘s no shame in

being nervous. However, if you are too nervous, your anxiety will spread to your

audience, making them nervous in turn.

So how can you stop yourself from feeling too nervous? Here are a few tips.

1. Don‘t get hung up about being nervous. It‘s a normal human reaction. Don‘t

make yourself more nervous because you‘re nervous.

2. Walk off your excessive nervousness. If possible, walk outside and get some fresh

air at the same time. But a walk down the corridor is better than no walk.

3. Don‘t let your legs go to sleep. Keep the blood supply moving. Keep both feet on

the floor and lean forward. Wiggle your toes. If you can stand up without disturbing

anybody, do so.

4. Work your wrists, arms and shoulders to get the tension out of them. Gentle

movements, not a major workout, will remove that tension.

5. Work your jaw. Gentle side-to-side or circular motion will help to loosen it.

6. Repeat positive affirmations quietly to yourself. ―I am a good presenter.‖ It may

seem corny but it works.

7. Above all, breathe deeply. Make sure your stomach is going out when you

breathe in.

Don‘t be self-conscious about these warm-up activities. Most good speakers do

them. Most people won‘t even notice that you are doing them. They‘re here to hear

you speak, they‘re not interested in what you do when you are not in the limelight.

Stating your purpose

It is important to state your purpose clearly at the beginning of your talk. Here are

some ways to do this:

talk about = to speak about a subject

Today I'd like to talk about our plans for the new site.

I'm going to be talking to you about the results of our survey.

report on = to tell you about what has been done.

I'm going to be reporting on our results last quarter.

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Today I will be reporting on the progress we have made since our last

meeting.

take a look at = to examine

First, let's take a look at what we have achieved so far.

Before we go on to the figures, I'd like to take a look at the changes we have

made.

tell you about = to speak to someone to give them information or instructions

First, I will tell you about the present situation, then go onto what we are

going to do.

When I have finished, Jack will then tell you about what is happening in

Europe.

show = to explain something by doing it or by giving instructions.

The object of this morning's talk is to show you how to put the theory into

practice.

Today I'm going to show you how to get the most out of the new software.

outline = to give the main facts or information about something.

I'd like to outline the new policy and give you some practical examples.

I will only give you a brief outline and explain how it affects you.

fill you in on = to give some extra or missing information

I'd like to quickly fill you in on what has happened.

When I have finished outlining the policy, Jerry will fill you in on what we

want you to do.

give an overview of = to give a short description with general information but no

details.

Firstly, I would like to give you a brief overview of the situation.

I'll give you an overview of our objectives and then hand over to Peter for

more details.

highlight = draw attention to or emphasize the important fact or facts.

The results highlight our strengths and our weaknesses.

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I'd now like to go on to highlight some of the advantages that these changes

will bring.

discuss = to talk about ideas or opinions on a subject in more detail.

I'm now going to discuss our options in more detail.

After a brief overview of the results, I'd like to discuss the

implications in more detail.

Emphasizing

Make your presentation more persuasive by making your points stronger. Here is

some language to help you:

a total disaster

The whole project was a total disaster from beginning to end.

extremely good

We have an extremely good chance of getting the contract.

a terrible mistake

It wasn‘t a minor error. It was a terrible mistake and cost us millions to put right.

much cheaper

Even if we had taken five per cent off our prices, we wouldn‘t have got the contract.

They were much cheaper than us.

one hundred per cent certain

There is not the slightest doubt. I am one hundred per cent certain that that is

what happened.

highly competitive

This is a highly competitive market. I am not sure we should enter it.

far too expensive

The Chinese and Koreans can offer much lower prices. We are far too expensive.

even better

Their previous smart phone was good but this is even better.

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fully aware

I am fully aware of all the risks but I still think we should do it.

absolutely no chance

There is absolutely no chance that we will lose the contract. They love our work.

Emphasizing - 2

Here is some more language to help you make your presentation more persuasive

and make your points stronger :

openly admit

I openly admit that I have made mistakes.

If they openly admit that they were at fault, they may get the public back on their

side.

totally agree

I totally agree with what Susan said.

I totally agree with the previous speaker.

strongly recommend

I strongly recommend that we invest in the Beijing project.

The consultants strongly recommend that we pull out of the US completely.

firmly believe

We firmly believe that this company has an excellent future ahead of it.

I firmly believe that I am the best candidate for the job.

positively encourage

I would like to positively encourage you to apply for the post.

I want to positively encourage you to continue with what you are doing.

fully appreciate

I fully appreciate that investing in the current economic climate is a risk.

We fully appreciate the efforts you have made on our behalf.

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categorically deny

I categorically deny that I did anything wrong.

My client categorically denies all the charges.

absolutely refuse

I absolutely refuse to continue with this.

I absolutely refuse to consider the possibility of failure

Softening

Sometimes you want to soften the impact of what you are saying and give it

less importance. Here are some ways to do that:

Little

The quality could have been a little better.

The speaker should have spoken a little louder.

Slight

There is a slight problem we need to deal with.

I have a slight doubt about John's suitability for the job.

Minor

I have a minor reservation about this plan.

There are a few minor problems still to be dealt with.

Fairly

There are some fairly important changes still to be made.

Quite

I quite like it but no more than that.

This is quite a good way to do this.

Not quite

He isn't quite as good as he thinks he is.

I'm not quite sure that we are on the right lines.

Partially

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He has been partially successful with his demands but he didn't get everything he

wanted.

It is partially finished but there is still a lot to do.

Occasional

There are occasional errors in his work.

Everybody makes occasional mistakes.

Rather

He is rather aggressive.

This is rather too complicated. It is difficult to understand.

More or less

The report is more or less finished. I just need to read through it again.

He is more or less useless. Cannot get anything right.

Dealing with questions 1

At the end of your talk, you may get questions. You don't have to answer all the

questions - they may not be good questions!

If it is a good question, thank the person and answer it.

Some of the questions may be irrelevant and not connected to what you want

to say. Say so and get another question.

Some may be unnecessary because you have already given the answer.

Repeat the answer briefly and get the next question.

And some may be difficult because you don't have the information. Again,

say so and offer to find the information or ask the person asking the

question what they think.

When you get a question, comment on it first. This will give you time to think. Here

are some useful expressions to help you do that:

That's a very interesting question.

I'm glad you've asked that question.

A good question.

I'm sorry but I don't have that information to hand.

Can I get back to you about that?

I'm afraid I can't answer that.

I'm not in a position to comment on that.

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As I said earlier, …

I think I answered that when I said …

I did mention that.

I don't see the connection.

I'm sorry, I don‘t follow you.

I think that is a very different issue.

Rhetorical questions

Presentations are more interesting if you use a conversational style. They are more

lively and you establish a rapport between you and your audience. You can do this

by using a question and answer technique – you ask a question and then answer it.

Your questions create anticipation and guide your audience to your point of view.

For example:

Late delivery is a big problem. What is the best solution? There are two possible

solutions. First …

Here are some exercises to help you practice this technique:

Focussing attention

When we really want to focus the attention of our audience on an important point,

we can use this "What ……. is …."

Look at these examples:

We must cut costs.

What we must do is cut costs.

We need more reliable suppliers.

What we need is more reliable suppliers.

Cause and effect

When you are giving a presentation, your job is to not only present the facts but

also to give the reasons (why), the purpose (objectives) and the results.

In a presentation, the language used is often very simple, much simpler than if we

were writing.

For example:

Reason:

We sold the land because we needed to release the cash.

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We closed the offices in London because they were too expensive to run.

Purpose:

We set up the team to look at possible ways to improve efficiency.

We sold the land to get necessary capital for investment.

Result:

We sold the land and had enough cash to invest in new equipment.

We expanded the sales network and sales increased.

How to Plan Your Presentation

Planning of presentation is nothing but deciding what to say and in what order.

Presentation is not a sequential display of data but a battle-a battle for the

audience‘s wallet or for their hearts. In every presentation you are trying to sell

something: a product, a service, or an idea. In a battle you need a strategy or a

sequence of moves.

STAR strategy:

It is putting your presentation through five filters WHO, WHY, WHERE and WHEN

before you touch WHAT.

WHO

WHY WHAT

WHERE WHEN

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WHO:

‘Who‘ is not a simple question, but a cluster of several related questions. Who is

your audience? How many people will be there? How old are they? Are they all men

or women? What is their educational level?

WHO has another dimension too. Who are you to them? What is likely to be their

attitude to you? Do they accept you as an expert?

Each answer has an impact on what you are going to present and how. If, for

example, their attitude to you or to your main proposal is likely to be hostile,

neutralizing it has to be a major thrust of your presentation. If their attitude is

favorable, you may be able to make certain quick jumps.

WHY:

WHY is the next filter. Why are you making this presentation? Is it to give the

audience some information? Is it to persuade them to do something?

There are two agendas for your presentation. One explicit; another hidden. Your

open agenda is to inform the audience about development or to demonstrate a new

product. Your hidden agenda is to sell them your ideas or your products.

WHERE:

WHERE is the presentation to be made? Is it in your premises or at client‘s place?

Or at a common place like hotel/conference hall. Do you have internet facility at

that place? Such questions are to be answered.

WHEN:

WHEN is also an important filter. Timing of your presentation is very important. Is

it at the start of the session or at the end. Is yours one of several consecutive

presentation? You‘re planning to be such that you can shrink your presentation

without running through the slides at breakneck speed. You should be also able to

expand your presentation in case you have extra time at your disposal.

WHAT:

Finally comes WHAT. It answers the question on the content of the presentation.

What will interest the audience? What will win them over? What level of

information they want? What is likely to be unacceptable to some or most of the

participant.

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MOM Plan

MUST

OUGHT

MAY BE

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Unit II - Special Language Knowledge and Presentation

The Speaker-Listener Technique

When it comes to great communication, you can‘t beat the simple advice of James.

That is easier said than done, right? In fact, this may be hardest to do in marriage

because of the great potential to feel hurt by those we love.

The Speaker-Listener Technique offers you an alternative way of communicating

when issues are hot or sensitive, or likely to get that way. Any conversation in

which you want to increase clarity and safety can benefit from this technique. Most

couples (although not all) can decide whether to go out for Chinese food without

this technique, but many can use more help when dealing with sensitive issues like

money, sex, and in-laws. It‘s the structure of the technique that makes it work.

Here are the rules.

Rules For Both Of You:

1. The speaker has the floor. Use a real object to designate the floor. When giving

seminars, we hand out small cards or pieces of linoleum or carpet for couples to

use. You can use anything, though—the TV remote, a piece of paper, a paperback

book, anything at all. If you do not have the floor, you are the Listener. As Speaker

and Listener you follow the rules for each role. Note that the Speaker keeps the

floor while the Listener paraphrases, keeping it clear who is in which role all the

time.

2. Share the floor. You share the floor over the course of a conversation. One has it

to start and may say a number of things. At some point, you switch roles and

continue back and forth as the floor changes hands.

3. No problem solving. When using this technique you are going to focus on having

good discussions. You must consciously avoid coming to solutions prematurely.

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Rules For The Speaker:

1. Speak for yourself. Don‘t mind read. Talk about your thoughts, feelings, and

concerns, not your perceptions or interpretations of the Listener‘s point of view or

motives. Try to use ―I‖ statements, and talk about your own point of view.

2. Talk in small chunks. You will have plenty of opportunity to say all you need to

say, so you don‘t have to say it all at once. It is very important to keep what you

say in manageable pieces to help the Listener actively listen. If you are in the habit

of giving long monologues, remember that having the floor protects you from

interruption, so you can afford to pause for the paraphrase to be sure your partner

understands you. A good rule of thumb is to keep your statements to just a

sentence or two, especially when first learning the technique.

3. Stop and let the Listener paraphrase. After saying a bit, perhaps a sentence or

two, stop and allow the Listener to paraphrase what you just said. If the

paraphrase was not quite accurate, you should politely restate what was not heard

in the way it was intended to be heard. Your goal is to help the Listener hear and

understand your point of view.

Rules For The Listener:

1. Paraphrase what you hear. To paraphrase the Speaker, briefly repeat back what

you heard the Speaker say, using your own words if you like, to make sure you

understand what was said. The key is that you show your partner that you are

listening as you restate what you heard, without any interpretations. If the

paraphrase is not quite right (which happens often), the Speaker should gently

clarify the point being made. If you truly don‘t understand some phrase or example,

you may ask the Speaker to clarify or repeat, but you may not ask questions on

any other aspect of the issue unless you have the floor.

2. Don’t rebut. Focus on the Speaker’s message. While in the Listener role, you may

not offer your opinion or thoughts. This is the hardest part of being a good Listener.

If you are upset by what your partner says, you need to edit out any response you

may want to make, so you can continue to pay attention to what your partner is

saying. Wait until you get the floor to state your response. As Listener, your job is

to speak only in the service of understanding your partner. Any words or gestures

to show your own opinions are not allowed, including making faces. Your task is to

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understand. Good listening does not equal agreement. You can express any

disagreement when you have the floor.

Additional Helpful Thoughts for Using this Method:

When using the Speaker-Listener Technique, the Speaker is always the one who

determines if the Listener‘s paraphrase was on target. Only the Speaker knows

what the intended message was. If the paraphrase was not quite on target, it is very

important that the Speaker gently clarify or restate the point and not respond

angrily or critically.

A key point: When in the Listener role, be sincere in your effort to show you are

listening carefully and respectfully. Even when you disagree with the point being

made by your partner, your goal is to show respect for and validation of his or her

perspective. That means waiting your turn and not making faces or looking bored.

Showing real respect and honor to one another is the goal. You can disagree

completely with your mate on a matter and still show respect. In fact, we are told in

scripture to show respect no matter what. Just wait until you have the floor to

make your points.

Two more points—first, when using the Speaker-Listener Technique, it is

important to stay on the topic you mean to discuss. Many issues in marriage can

become involved in one conversation, but you‘ll do better on important matters if

you try to stay on the issues at hand. Also, don‘t try to problem solve prematurely.

Focus on having a good discussion where you can get the issues on the table.

Advantages of Using the Speaker-Listener Technique:

The Speaker-Listener Technique has many advantages over unstructured

conversation when discussing difficult issues. Most important is the way it

counteracts the destructive styles of communication. This is crucial. It‘s not that

this technique is the be-all-and-end-all of good communication. It‘s just one very

simple way to be ―quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry‖ and

thereby limit the damage that patterns such as the danger signs can cause.

In fact, we do meet couples who try this and do not like it. We don‘t get defensive

about it or push it, we simply say to them, ―That‘s fine, as long as you have some

other way to have respectful, good conversations on difficult issues. If you can do

that, you don‘t need this technique.‖

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You may be thinking, ―This sure is artificial.‖ Agreed. In fact, that‘s the key reason

it is so effective. The truth is, what comes naturally to couples when difficult issues

come up is often destructive and quite the opposite from being ―quick to hear, slow

to speak, and slow to become angry.‖

This technique is designed to help couples keep a tight rein on their tongues. That‘s

why it works. When you choose to use it, you are making the choice to limit the

defensive responses that come naturally and to submit yourself to a more caring,

disciplined approach to understanding your mate. You are unleashing your ears

and reining in your tongue. Keep in mind that although these rules are simple,

simple does not always mean easy. Structure can make it easier, but sometimes it

just takes hard work to communicate well.

The process of communication is the essence of education. Teaching and learning

occur via the process of communication. It is in the interactions between teachers

and students as well as in the interactions amongst students facilitated by the

instructor where education takes place. It is not simply the ability to communicate,

but the ability to communicate effectively that is essential in the process of

education. To be an effective educator one must be an effective communicator. This

module provides values-based skills that, when applied, inherently increase

effectiveness in communication. Effective communication enhances student

learning.

Effective Communication

"Communication is an intangible process that can be verbal, nonverbal, or a

combination of both, and always involves the transaction of meaning between

persons" (Scileppi Krivanek, 2000). Effective communication is defined as accuracy

in encoding (creating) and decoding (interpreting) of a message between people. In

other words, the meaning attached to a message that is sent is similar to the

meaning attached to the message that is received. Effective communication occurs

when a message that is received by the listener is closely aligned with the message

that was sent by the speaker. Misunderstandings often occur either when the

sender of a message is not clear or when the listener misinterprets a message.

Effective communication is achieved through communicating mindfully (Langer,

1989) and practicing rhetorical sensitivity (Spano & Zimmerman, 1995) in our

interactions with others.

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Civility and Respect

Civility and respect are the cornerstones of society (Krivanek, 2000). Civility and

respect are achieved through mindfulness and rhetorical sensitivity.

Mindfulness: Mindfulness is an approach to communicating. It involves a sense of

awareness of one's behaviors (verbal and non-verbal) in the process of

communicating. Being mindful is being consciously aware of the communication

process as it is occurring. To be truly mindful one must be open to new

information, create new categories and realize there is more than one perspective.

Mindfulness in our communications with others involves the ability to bring our

own communication to a level of awareness. Rather than communicating on

automatic pilot (learned, scripted, responses), the mindful communicator begins to

monitor the communication process. He/She learns to tailor his/her message

based upon the receiver of the message. This infers that one aspect of the role of

the instructor is to not only know his/her subject matter, but to be very in tune

with the students as individuals. In understanding the students as individuals,

messages will be adapted for particular classes, and/or particular students in the

classes.

Besides bringing one's communication to a level of awareness, mindfulness in

communication incorporates these three elements:

1) openness to new information,

2) creation of new categories (cognitive complexity), and

3) realizing there is more than one perspective.

Rhetorical Sensitivity: Practicing rhetorical sensitivity involves incorporating these

five elements in our interactions with others:

1) accept personal complexity

2) avoid rigidity in our interactions

3) realize that an idea can be expressed in many ways

4) balance self-interest with interest of others

5) appropriateness/timing

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These five elements aid in encoding and decoding messages more accurately. Each

human being is very complex. The more clearly we can see these complexities (via

mindfulness), the more flexible and adaptable we become in our interactions with

others (via rhetorical sensitivity). These complexities coupled with flexibility and

adaptability leads us to realize that any idea can be expressed in many ways.

Knowing these will help instructors to be more open minded. If we don't accept

personal complexity and are rigid in our interactions, we may be short-changing a

student and not balancing our own interests as educators with the interests of the

students. Yet, as instructors, we must also maintain our own self-interest.

Appropriateness, in how/where/when a message is communicated, is essential in

maintaining civility and respect in the education process.

Impersonal /Interpersonal Communication

Impersonal communication occurs when we communicate from our roles.

"Interpersonal communication is an encounter between two persons in which roles

and rules are transcended and at times abandoned and the honest and natural

flow of life is allowed to regulate the interaction" (Krivanek, 2000, p. 27).

Even though we must interact with others based on the context of the relationship,

we must not limit all of our interactions to be simply impersonal. It is through

interpersonal interactions that we grow as individuals. "People are human beings,

not human doings" (Krivanek, 2000, p.295). Our students are not only students;

they are also human beings. We must not limit their growth by refusing to interact

with them on an interpersonal level.

It is important to communicate with students both impersonally and

interpersonally. Often times, as instructors, we focus on communicating with our

students merely from the role as instructor. However, students' affinity towards

instructors can increase through appropriate self-disclosure and allowing students

to see their instructors as real people. As such, it is essential to communicate with

students both impersonally (from our role of instructor) and interpersonally

(outside of our role).

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Values-Based Skills: Assertiveness, Listening, Giving Feedback & Responding to Feedback

There are four additional skills that can be incorporated into an instructor's

behavioral repertoire that can enhance student learning and teaching effectiveness.

Although the following values-based skills are presented as behaviors that are

effective in the classroom, they are also skills that teachers can model so that their

students will also learn to integrate these into their lives. These four skills are:

1) Assertive non-violent communication

2) Assertive listening (listening with an open mind and heart)

3) Giving Feedback

4) Responding to Feedback

Assertiveness/Non Assertiveness/Verbal Aggression

"The assertive communicator is able to directly state and declare his or her

thoughts and feelings without offending, abusing, or manipulating the other

person." The assertive communicator has a win-win attitude towards interactions

with others. Assertive communication is "self-enhancing because it shows a

positive firmness."

In order to more fully understand an assertive style of communication, it can be

compared to the non-assertive and aggressive styles of communication. The non-

assertive communicator is "too politely restrained, tactful, diplomatic, modest, and

self denying." The aggressive communicator "demands and makes comments to

achieve his or her own goals at the expense of others. Assertive communication is

inherently linked to rhetorical sensitivity. The assertive communicator balances

one's self-interest with others' interests.

I. Assertiveness: involves communicating in a way that indicates that we are

standing up for our own rights, but at the same time respecting the rights of

others. (Gudykunst, Ting-Toomey, Sudweeks, Stewart, 1995)

A. Assertive communication enables you to act in your own best interest without

denying or infringing upon the rights of others.

B. Express your thoughts/opinions/feelings without hurting others in the process.

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C. Assertiveness is a way of communicating to others that you have a high sense of

self-regard & a high sense of regard for others.

D. Our culture values assertiveness.

E. Important to note that assertive individuals are capable of acting assertive when

they want to be,

but can also be non-assertive if the situation seems to call for it.

II. Non-Assertiveness

A. When a person is non-assertive, how does he/she behave?

1. timid, reserved, unable to assert their rights regardless of the situation

2. deny own feelings/opinions

3. allows others to make decisions for them

B. Are there any situations in which being non-assertive may be

appropriate/acceptable? Yes.

1. Any situation, when you do not care what happens - or perhaps if you are

assertive and someone's feelings may be hurt, or cultural differences.

2. Specific examples: assertiveness in many Asian and Hispanic cultures is

viewed as insulting/disrespectful.

3. So non-assertiveness can be, at times, the appropriate communicative style.

III. Verbal Aggressiveness: is the tendency to attack the self-concepts of individuals

instead of, or in addition to, their positions on topics of communication (Infante,

1987 - cited in Gudykunst, Ting-Toomey, Sudweeks, Stewart, 1995).

A. How do aggressive people behave?

1. examples: hostile, arrogant, pushy

2. verbally they attack people's character, competence, self-worth, etc.

3. non-verbally what do they do? Gesture, facial expressions.

B. Generally, aggressive people appear to think little of the opinions, values or

beliefs of others, yet are extremely sensitive to criticism of their own behavior.

1. So if these verbally aggressive messages attack people - what are these

messages doing?

2. Think of another name for aggressive messages - HURTFUL MESSAGES &

PUT DOWNS.

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Assertive Listening

Assertive listening (MODEL p. 72) is essential to understand for effectively

communicating in the educational process. "The personhood of the listener is an

important part of the listening process" (Krivanek, 2000). As such, instructors must

be in tune with their own internal monologue as well as understanding the

personhood of their students. We begin to understand others through listening to

not only verbal messages, but also to non-verbal cues.

Listening is a learned skill. As instructors, we can also aid our students to be better

listeners by asking them to pay attention to their own listening processes and

reminding them to choose to listen! We can also aid students by previewing and

reviewing each lesson. Additionally, applying a variety of teaching strategies aids

students in their own listening processes.

I. Difference between Hearing and Listening

(Gudykunst, Ting-Toomey, Sudweeks, Stewart, 1995)

A. Hearing: physiological process - it is the physical process of taking in auditory

sensations without deliberate thoughtful attention.

B. Listening: mental process - involves paying close attention to and making sense

of what the message being sent, verbally and/or non-verbally.

C. Listening is a choice!

D. Most people are poor listeners, and that is why we need to make a conscious

effort to become Assertive Listeners.

II. Assertive Listening: is a mindful process in which we focus on the meanings of

other peoples' verbal and nonverbal messages, and we clearly indicate to them that

we are paying

attention.

A. Assertive Listening does take time and energy, however it is necessary.

1. It helps us to comprehend the content and the relational meanings of other

people's messages.

2. It is critical when we want to understand others.

B. 6 Guidelines to keep in mind when trying to be an Assertive Listener

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1. Be ready and willing to listen:

- give them your undivided attention

- we have to mindfully choose to be ready and willing to listen.

- "Be" with that person, clear your mind

- Use all elements ears (eyes, face, voice, body ,mind, and our heart) to listen

in a nondistracting environment.

2. Remain silent to allow the other person to speak:

- It allows others time to collect their thoughts and to decide what they want

to say

- Everyone has different orientations toward silence - some high/low

- Because most of us have a low tolerance for silence, we must mindfully

choose to be quiet and allow other people to talk.

- We don't want to try to solve problems and give lots of advice, unless it is

requested and we have gathered enough information to give advice

- interrupt and trying to solve others problem when it is not requested only

decreases the

information the other person will choose to share.

3. Verbally and Nonverbally show you are paying attention:

NONVERBAL

- eye contact: signals we are following what the other person is saying.

Appropriate eye contact indicates we are interested in other people and their

messages. The appropriate length of time to hold eye contact depends on our

relationship with other people and our cultural background.

- body posture / leaning: leaning back with our arms crossed = not interested;

leaning forward facing the person = interested

**When we listen responsively, we move our bodies while avoiding motions

that distract the speaker. If we are totally still, we may signal we are not

listening. If we remain still, we may appear cold.

VERBAL

- verbal cues and short phrases serve to signal other people that we are

following the conversation. cues such as "um-hmm" and "uh-huh" serve as

encouraging signals for other people to continue to express their ideas and

feelings.

Short phrases: "I see," "I hear you," "That is very interesting," "Tell me some

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more," "Go on," "Really?" helps us stay alert and indicate we are paying

attention.

4. Paraphrase verbal content in your own words:

- the goal is to make sure we accurately understand the content of their

message.

- it involves verbally restating our interpretation of the content meaning of

other peoples' messages on our own words (ex. "in other words, your saying

that").

- it is not repeating what they said in their words.

- hold out on giving advice or judging until we are sure of the message.

5. Reflecting your understanding of the relational meaning:

- reflections reveal an act of empathy; they tell the other person he or she

has been heard. Imagine how the other person would feel.

- they do not involve analyzing a message. Rather they simply show that

meaning has been registered.

- do not restate what other person has said, rather clearly tell the other

person we understand what they said. ex. "oh my" "that is so unfair"

- when we accurately reflect the feelings or meanings that lie behind the

questions (asking for advice), the speaker often forgets that he or she even

asked a question and usually plunges into a deeper discussion of the matter

and begins to grope towards a solution.

- if the speaker recognizes that their questions have not been answered,

listeners can help the speaker solve problem.

6. Ask probing and clarifying questions:

- probing involves open ended questions (who, what, when, where, how) to

look for an extension of the content of what is being said or the relational

meaning behind the message.

- clarifying questions such as, "I am not sure what you mean, can you

explain yourself further?" helps us gather more content and data from the

other person.

We should not use assertive listening skills all of the time - it is too time

consuming, use it when it is important that we fully understand the other person.

In addition to assertive listening, some other important guidelines are discussed by

Krivanek (2000). She explains the guidelines for informational listening and

listening to help.

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Informational Listening

Informational Listening involves listening to understand or comprehensive

listening. This guidelines can both be used by instructors when interacting with

students and can be shared with students to aid them in their own listening skills.

The guidelines include the following:

1. Listening readiness

Because listening is a choice, we must prepare ourselves mentally,

emotionally, and physically to listen.

2. Talk Less

Talking less isn't limited to refraining on offering too much information

verbally. It also includes controlling our own internal monologue and to

speak with a purpose rather than talking aimlessly.

3. Avoid interrupting

Interrupting causes anxiety for the speaker and disrupts the communication

process. All interruptions cannot be avoided, so interrupt for questions of

clarification at the appropriate times.

4. Listen for main ideas

Listening to Help

Listening to help involves listening to understand, and from that understanding the

notion of helping another. Again, these guidelines can both be used by instructors

when interacting with students and can be shared with students to aid them in

their own listening skills. The guidelines include the following:

1. Listening readiness

2. Listen with the whole self, from personhood, interpersonally rather

than only impersonally

3. Keep an open mind

We can understand another's perspective (empathy) without having to agree

with their perspective.

4. Develop sensitivity for the unspoken message

Giving Feedback

Constructive criticism (giving feedback) is a major function of a college instructor.

As such, the ability to give appropriate feedback is very crucial. These are not only

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important in the role of instructor, but can also be discussed explicitly with the

students and help them to give feedback appropriately so that they can be

successful students.

A. Introduction to giving feedback

1. Feedback: information we transmit to others in reaction to the verbal and

nonverbal messages we have received from them.

2. Though we can give feedback for a variety of reasons (to encourage, to give

advice, to disagree or agree, to show appreciation, to assert our point of

view), most people offer feedback only when something goes wrong.

B. To give effective feedback we must be sensitive to others' needs & interests. We

must consider their character, and our relationship.

C. We must consider (9) General Guidelines: Need to adapt to specific situation.

1. Timing: Close to occurrence of behavior.ex. Don't talk to a student about

coming into class late a week after it happened. Make sure people are ready

to hear. Do not give feedback when someone is exhausted or upset.

ex. Don't talk to a student about their disruptive behavior (ex. passing notes)

in class when they have just told you that someone in their family has just

passed away, they are likely not to listen.

2. Specificity: Need to be clear, unambiguous, direct. Have examples. If giving

feedback in writing, say what exactly could be improved.

Don't be general or vague. Identify reason for your interpretations.

3. Nonevaluative: Separate person from problem/issue to avoid

defensiveness.

ex. "I feel I can't get in a word with you" rather than "You always interrupt

me."

Avoid judging others

4. Mutual Problem: Saves interpersonal relationships.

ex. "What can we do to solve this?"

5. Assertive Manner: The use of "I" messages signals ownership of perceptions

ex. "This is how I interpret what happened."

ex. "I am disappointed because ."

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Limit what you say to your own observations - NOT - what others have told

us. Avoid offensive, obscene language (aggressive) as well as harsh manner

of speaking (raising your voice or yelling). For feedback to be assertive, there

needs to be an opportunity for other people to maintain their public images

when we give them feedback.

6. Fairness: Allow people to maintain face (public image).

Neg. feedback in private is good.

Examples: outside the class or in your office.

7. Balance: Positive with Negative ex. "I like your use of examples in the paper,

they're good; let's work on the transitions." "Sandwich Method"

8. Here and Now: Focus on the present.

If we drag up the past, we decrease the effectiveness of our feedback and

increase the possibility they will feel we are "dumping" on them & not listen

to the feedback.

9. Concluding Feedback Session: Should end with a clear statement of

mutual understanding of the situation and the statement of the specific

actions that will be taken in the future. ex. "o.k. - so we have agreed that if

your paper is not turned in by Thursday, I will no longer accept it. Correct?"

Closure - allows both to know future expectations.

When we take into consideration how to give effective feedback in our classrooms,

we are more likely to build a more positive learning environment for our students.

We are likely to achieve understanding and shared meanings; therefore, feedback is

a major resource we can use for effective communication with others. Giving

feedback effectively by following these guidelines increases the quality of the

rapport we build with our students. The more you practice - the easier it becomes!

Responding to Critical Feedback

In addition to giving feedback effectively, the ability to respond to feedback is also

very crucial. These are not only important in the role of instructor, but can also be

discussed explicitly with the students and help them to respond appropriately to

feedback so that they can be successful students. There are two typical responses

to receiving critical feedback, or constructive criticism: fight or flight. These are

other wise known as the "you're no good" or "I'm no good" responses. The fight or

"you're no good" response puts blame on the person giving the critical feedback and

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results in anger and lowered self-esteem. The flight or "I'm no good" response puts

self-blame on the person receiving the critical feedback and results in heightened

levels of anxiety, uncertainty, and lowered self-esteem. Neither of these responses

is either effective or functional. The mindful choice is the self-esteem response. The

person receiving the critical feedback perceives the critical feedback as an

opportunity for learning. This results in higher levels of self-esteem and more

effective communication between instructor and student. More effective

communication results in more successful learning.

How to Make Someone Less Self-Conscious

Social situations can be awkward and uncomfortable. Nevertheless, the ability to

help others feel at ease -- particularly people you do not know well -- will go far in

ensuring that your party or gathering will be successful. If you want to disarm

perfect strangers with the warmth of your presence and make them feel less self-

conscious in the process, you can do this by using emotional tone and pacing,

communicating openness through your body language, paying compliments, using

humor and anticipating needs.

Instructions

Use appropriate emotional tone and pacing. If the person you have just met seems

anxious or high-strung, calm him or her by speaking at an even pace -- without

exaggerating or condescending -- and in a lower tone of voice.

Spend plenty of time on each of the rituals of hospitality, giving your guests a

chance to settle in and feel comfortable. Establishing a cordial atmosphere is

especially valuable for making new acquaintances feel more at ease.

Communicate openness through your body language and posture. Adopt an open

stance, with hands at your sides and feet slightly apart. Use active listening skills -

- paraphrasing, nodding, mirroring -- to communicate interest. Use gestures such

as the "from me to you" hand motion to create a sense of equilibrium, poise and

connection. Keep your shoulders relaxed, lean slightly forward when speaking,

maintain a conversational distance -- 12 to 36 inches in most Western countries --

and use modest amounts of eye contact.

Pay your new acquaintance compliments. Notice something special about the

person you have just met, paying particular attention to signs of thoughtfulness on

their part. Such a sign might be related to the outfit they are wearing, for example.

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Be genuine and use your observations to create opportunities for conversation and

connection.

Use humor as a way to make your new acquaintance feel more comfortable. A

warm smile, for instance, will put most people at ease. Making a self-deprecating

comment at your expense can also go a long way towards making others feel more

at ease.

Anticipate needs in the event that you are entertaining guests. Use small gestures -

- offering guests something to drink, say -- to communicate hospitality. Doing so

sends the message that you care about the comfort of your guests.

HUMOUR IN COMMUNICATION

Punctuated Humour An English professor wrote the sentence, "Woman without

her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed her students to correct it.

The boys wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing".

The girls wrote: "Woman! without her, man is nothing". …..Internet Humour

Humour plays an important role in human life and can, therefore, play a significant

role in communication. Humour, if used effectively, can provide a winning edge in

both personal and organizational communication. It is possible to make humour

relevant to any business situation. Malcolm Kushner, America's prominent humour

consultant and considered to be a pioneer in the field of corporate humour

consulting, believes that humour is a powerful management tool. It can gain

attention, create rapport and make a message more memorable. It can also relieve

tension, enhance relationships and motivate people, if it is used properly. It can be

used to influence corporate culture. Dr Robert Baron, an eminent psychologist, has

concluded from his/her research studies that confrontations at work often depend

on ‗how you say things‘ rather that ‗what you say‘. A good laugh, it is rightly

observed, cuts across organizational boundaries.

Humor in presentations isn't always a laughing matter. How do you know when it

will work—and when it won't? Should you use humor at all?

Humor can help. It can also backfire.

Used skillfully, humor can help establish rapport with your audience. It can ease

tension and help in responding to a hostile question. It can help underscore a key

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point or message. It can help to keep your audience's attention, increasing interest

in what you're saying. It lets your audience see your human side. And information

conveyed with humor is more likely to be remembered. But be careful. If you use

humor poorly, it can sink your presentation and harm your credibility.

Humor and jokes are not the same.

Humor is found within the context of your presentation. Jokes, on the other hand,

invite an on-demand response from your listeners.

You needn't be a comedian to use humor effectively. You don't even have to be good

at telling jokes. You need only a sense of humor.

The best humor springs as anecdotes from personal experience. As such, they're

easy to tell because you've lived the experience; they spring from ordinary, real-life

experiences that audiences can easily relate to.

Make it relevant.

Make your humor relevant to your presentation. Use humor to make a point, one

that advances your overall objective. When you do, your listeners—even if they

don't find your humor funny—will get the point you intended to make and will

appreciate that. You can also use humor to provide a brief diversion from your

subject matter. But, again, make it relevant.

Make your humor relevant to your audience as well. That presumes you've done

your homework. You know the demographics. You know who is in your audience.

You know their background, their tastes and biases. You know how they're likely to

respond. This becomes more of a challenge when you're dealing with different

cultures. Remember: not all humor is universal. What works in one culture may

not work in another.

Things to avoid.

Don't start with a joke for the sake of a joke that has nothing to do with anything.

You'll appear to be trying too hard, and your joke will serve only as a distraction.

People tend to resist when they think you're just trying to make them laugh.

Take pains to avoid offensive humor. It should go without saying: never use ethnic,

racist, sexist, or off-color humor. Follow the rule: when in doubt—even the slightest

doubt—leave it out. Also avoid sarcasm. People almost always feel uncomfortable

with a speaker who demeans others.

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Even when you use humor skillfully, don't expect your audience to convulse in

laughter. There's no laugh meter and you're no standup comic. Your audience did

not come to be entertained.

More tips.

Any humor you may use should be determined while you're preparing your

presentation. As a rule, just two or three instances of humor in a 15-to-20 minute

presentation should be ample.

If you do use humor and you get no response, keep going. Humor, if it fails, has no

consequence, unlike jokes that fail.

Don't laugh at your own humor. Keep it short. Humor itself is not the point. It's a

means to an end, not the end itself.

Remember: the degree of overt audience response does not matter as much as the

overall success of your presentation. Ask yourself: Will humor help clarify a point?

Will it help hold your listeners' attention? Just what purpose do you have in

inserting humor at this particular point in your presentation?

Some good sources of humor.

There are many types of humor and humorous devices. And with a little

imagination, there's no end of source material.

The anecdote is among the more common devices. This simply is any interesting

story based on a real incident or event. You can reach into your own experience to

find anecdotes. You can relate a story you know from someone else's experience. Or

you can track down collections of anecdotes involving people who are well known.

The test is whether you can relate to it yourself. If you can't, it probably won't

work.

You might also toss in an occasional analogy—a comparison that allows you to

make a point quickly. The like word almost defines the analogy, as in, "I feel like the

deceased at a wake. I'm not expected to say much, but you can't start this meeting

without me. So I'll be brief."

You can also use an aside—a thought that's seemingly thrown in as if something

you've just said reminds you of a related thought. An aside must be short, allowing

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you to jump back into your original train of thought.

While not everybody can tell a joke, anyone with a little practice can tell an

anecdote, or use an analogy, an aside, or a quote.

It doesn't much matter which of the many available devices you use, as long as

they're in good taste, they're relevant to your presentation and your audience, and

they help to illustrate or convey a key point.

Stories work and stories have value because they help us understand. Through

stories, facts and raw data gain meaning. Stories are how we best learn and

visualize information. They simplify and clarify even the most complex information.

They can hook an audience with emotion. What's more, stories help people

remember what they've heard.

We're all storytellers.

A story, at it's simplest, is the narrative telling of an event or experience. It links

events in some kind of logical and believable sequence.

We all tell stories all the time. We remember what we experience, and we tell other

people what we remember in the form of a story. Human memory itself is story-

based. We find it a lot easier to remember what other people have said if they tell it

as a story. We learn from these stories, as others learn from the stories we tell.

How to use stories.

Your stories should fit within the context of your presentation, or at least tie in with

your surrounding remarks. Your stories won't work if you force fit them into your

presentation. They won't work either if you put your presentation on hold while you

digress to tell a story that has no purpose.

Make your stories relevant to the experience and interests of your audience.

Each story should have a point to it that your listeners can easily grasp and

readily identify with.

Keep your stories short—two to three minutes at most. Leave out any

unnecessary detail. Use your story to quickly clarify or support a point

you're making, then move on.

A good story puts information in perspective. It doesn't replace information.

A good story paints a picture. It helps your listeners "see" what you're

saying.

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Make something happen in the story. It should happen in a specific time and

place. Make the characters in your story sympathetic and real.

Use stories sparingly.

A good story is one you're comfortable telling. It won't ring true if you're seen

to be forcing it in any sense.

And the best of stories? It's a story that stays with your audience—one

they'll remember long afterwards.

How to find stories.

There's really no limit to the sources that can yield a good story. Stories can come

from just about anywhere: from personal experience or the experience of others; or

from books, newspapers and magazines, the Internet, movies and TV programs.

Some presenters even find stories from mythology. You can also recycle and adapt

stories others have used. Just be sure your listeners are not likely to have heard

the story before. If you do lift a story you've heard from someone else, give credit to

the source.

Telling your stories.

When you're telling a story, put some feeling into it. You're telling a story, after all,

not reciting facts or raw data. Your eye focus, voice, posture, gestures—all combine

to add emotional power to your stories. When you use these techniques effectively,

your stories have a much better chance of resonating with your listeners. Think of

the good speakers you've heard—anyone, whether a colleague, your CEO, a public

figure, even a performer being interviewed. Listen for the ways in which they weave

stories into their remarks.

For many presenters, the hostile audience is right up there with stage fright as their

worst nightmare. But just as it is with stage fright, there are ways to deal with the

problem audience.

The audience is not the enemy.

Most audiences are naturally supportive and open to what you have to say. Still,

the time may come when you'll have to face an audience of cynics who are openly

resistant or even hostile. There are ways to deal with the problem.

Address the issues before you present.

Almost always, you'll know in advance that you'll be dealing with a tough audience.

Rarely does it come as a surprise, and when it does, it's usually the result of poor

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preparation. So, before you present, make sure you've done your audience analysis.

You can do a lot to minimize and even prevent adverse audience reaction by

anticipating how your listeners are likely to react to what you say.

Know your listeners—and what drives them.

Your audience analysis should tell you what you need to know about the attitudes,

biases, or concerns your audience may have. What does your audience think about

your topic? Is your topic controversial, likely to stir emotions or lead to a backlash?

Will you be putting people on the defensive? What are the expectations of those you

know will be in your audience? Will they, for example, be expecting you to address

their concerns about some deeply felt issue?

As you prepare, focus on these and other issues that could trigger negative

emotions. Anticipate negative issues that may come up, acknowledge them, and

place them in a context of your choosing as you build your presentation. That way,

you're framing the issue yourself and proactively responding to it in a way that

helps to achieve your objectives. If, for example, your audience research tells you

some issues can't be waved away, and you know they're going to come up anyway,

attack them head on. That way, you'll be able to present them in a manner that will

help defuse the situation. Further, by addressing sensitive issues as part of your

overall remarks, you will at least show you're alert to the concerns of your

listeners.

At the same time, don't go overboard when anticipating a negative response. Go

with your audience knowledge and your instincts in judging what issues to raise

and address in your presentation, and what to leave out. You certainly don't want

to raise an issue that wasn't on anyone's mind in the first place.

The listener who is still resistant—no matter what.

What happens when you've prepared thoroughly, but some of your listeners are

still not satisfied How do you deal with those who openly disagree with you or

challenge you? Here are some tips:

Stay calm at all costs. If you return the fire, you'll only encourage more

negative behavior.

Don't judge your entire audience by the reactions of a few, who may not

represent the views of everyone. People who interrupt, loudly disagree, or

become combative are likely to offend others in the audience as well.

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Be sure to address the issue only. Don't put the individual on the defensive

and certainly don't criticize anyone personally.

Look for areas of agreement you can build on. That doesn't mean you should

back down when all your research tells you you're right. Looking for

common ground is not a form of compromise. You can acknowledge the

other person's point of view without agreeing with it.

Stay within the immediate discussion. Avoid offering more facts or opinions

that could trigger more disagreement.

Avoid getting bogged down in an adversarial exchange that seems to go on

forever. Once you've covered a topic as thoroughly as you choose to, end the

discussion by saying simply that you've explained your position, but now it's

time to move on. You can offer to discuss the issue further after your

presentation.

Do interrupt when someone with a dissenting view wanders onto another

subject or appears about to give a presentation of his own. Make it clear that

time is short and that you want to stay focused on the day's agenda.

To keep things in perspective: It's the rare audience that will not give you a fair

hearing. But be prepared when someone in your audience does get out of hand.

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Unit III - General Communications Skills For Presentation

Let's now look in detail at those four key elements of effective presentations:

1. Understanding your audience.

2. Preparing your content.

3. Delivering confidently.

4. Controlling the environment.

Understanding Your Audience

The success of most presentations is generally judged on how the audience

responds. You may think you did a great job, but unless your audience agrees with

you, that may not be the case. Before you even begin putting your PowerPoint

slides together, the first thing you need to do is understand what your audience

wants. Try following these steps:

Determine who the members of the audience are.

Find out what they want and expect from your presentation. What do they

need to learn? Do they have entrenched attitudes or interests that you need

to respect? And what do they already know that you don't have to repeat?

Create an outline for your presentation, and ask for advance feedback on

your proposed content.

When what you say is what your audience wants or needs to hear, then you'll

probably receive positive reinforcement throughout your presentation. If you see

nods and smiles, or hear murmurs of agreement, for example, then this will

motivate you to keep going and do a great job.

When your audience is satisfied, it doesn't matter if your delivery wasn't absolutely

perfect. The primary goal of the people listening to your presentation is to get the

information they need. When that happens, you've done a good job. Of course, you

want to do a great job, not just a good job – and that's where the rest of the tips

can help.

Preparing Your Content

The only way to satisfy your audience's needs and expectations is to deliver the

content they want. That means understanding what to present, and present it.

Bear in mind that if you give the right information in the wrong sequence, this may

leave the audience confused, frustrated, or bored.

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If you provide the information in a well-structured format, and you include various

techniques to keep the audience engaged and interested, then they'll probably

remember what you said – and they'll remember you.

There are a variety of ways to structure your content, depending on the type of

presentation you'll give. Here are some principles that you can apply:

Identify a few key points – To help the audience retain the messages

you're giving them, use the chunking principle to organize your information

into five to seven key points.

Don't include every detail – Good presentations inspire the audience to

learn more, and ask further statements to maximize their understanding of

the issue.

Use an outline – At the beginning, tell your audience what you intend to

cover, and let them know what to expect. This helps build anticipation and

interest from the start.

Start and end strongly – Capture people's interest as soon as you begin,

and leave them with a message they won't forget. It's tempting to put all of

your effort into the main body of the presentation. However, if you don't get

people's attention at the start, they'll probably lose interest, and not really

hear the rest anyway.

Use examples – Where possible, use lots of examples to support your

points. A lecture is often the least interesting and engaging form of

presentation. Look for ways to liven things up by telling stories, talking

about real-life examples, and using metaphors to engage your audience

fully.

A special type of presentation is one that seeks to persuade. Monroe's Motivated

Sequence, consisting of five steps, gives you a framework for developing content for

this kind of presentation:

1. Get the attention of your audience – Use an interesting 'hook' or opening

point, like a shocking statistic. Be provocative and stimulating, not boring or

calm.

2. Create a need – Convince the audience there's a problem, explain how it

affects them – and persuade them that things need to change.

3. Define your solution – Explain what you think needs to be done.

4. Describe a detailed picture of success (or failure) – Give the audience a

vision; something they can see, hear, taste, and touch.

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5. Ask the audience to do something right away – Get the audience involved

right from the start. Then it's usually much easier to keep them engaged

and active in your cause.

To brush up on your skills of persuasion, look at The Rhetorical Triangle. This

tool asks you to consider your communication from three perspectives: those of the

writer, the audience, and the context. It's a method that builds credibility, and

ensures that your arguments are logical.

Delivering Confidently

Even the best content can be ineffective if your presentation style contradicts or

detracts from your message. Many people are nervous when they present, so this

will probably affect your delivery. But it's the major distractions that you want to

avoid. As you build confidence, you can gradually eliminate the small and

unconstructive habits you may have. These tips may help you:

Practice to build confidence – Some people think that if you practice too

much, your speech will sound rehearsed and less genuine. Don't necessarily

memorize your presentation, but be so familiar with the content that you're

able to speak fluently and comfortably, and adjust as necessary.

Be flexible – This is easier to do if you're comfortable with the material.

Don't attempt to present something you just learned the previous night. You

want to know your material well enough to answer statements. And, if you

don't know something, just admit it, and commit to finding the answer.

Welcome statements from the audience – This is a sign that a

presenter knows what he or she is talking about. It builds audience

confidence, and people are much more likely to trust what you say, and

respect your message.

Use slides and other visual aids – These can help you deliver a confident

presentation. The key point here is to learn how much visual information to

give the audience, and yet not distract them from what you're saying.

Keep your visuals simple and brief – Don't use too many pictures,

charts, or graphs. Your slides should summarize or draw attention to one or

two items each. And don't try to fit your whole presentation onto your slides.

If the slides cover every single detail, then you've probably put too much

information on them. Slides should give the overall message, and then the

audience should know where to look for supporting evidence.

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Manage your stress – Confidence has a lot to do with managing your

stress levels. If you feel particularly nervous and anxious, then those

emotions will probably show. They're such strong feelings that you can

easily become overwhelmed, which can affect your ability to perform

effectively. A little nervousness is useful because it can build energy. But

that energy may quickly turn negative if nerves build to the point where you

can't control them.

If you have anxiety before a presentation, try some of these stress

management tools:

Use physical relaxation techniques, like deep breathing and

visualization, to calm your body and ease your tension.

Use imagery to help keep calm, and visualize yourself delivering

a successful presentation.

Learn strategies to build your self-confidence in general. The more

assured you are about yourself and your abilities, the better you'll feel

when you get up in front of people, and say what you want to say.

When you present with confidence and authority, your audience will likely

pay attention and react to you as someone who's worth listening to. So

'pretend' if you need to, by turning your nervousness into creative and

enthusiastic energy.

For other tips on delivering confidently, see Delivering Great

Presentations, Speaking to an Audience, Managing Presentation Nerves, and our

Bite-Sized Training session Giving Better Presentations.

Controlling the Environment

While much of the outside environment is beyond your control, there are still some

things you can do to reduce potential risks to your presentation.

Practice in the presentation room – This forces you to become familiar

with the room and the equipment. It will not only build your confidence, but

also help you identify sources of risk. Do you have trouble accessing your

PowerPoint file? Does the microphone reach the places you want to walk?

Can you move the podium? Are there stairs that might cause you to trip?

These are the sorts of issues you may discover and resolve by doing one or

two practice presentations.

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Do your own setup – Don't leave this to other people. Even though you

probably want to focus on numerous other details, it's a good idea not to

delegate too much of the preparation to others. You need the hands-on

experience to make sure nothing disastrous happens at the real event.

Test your timing – When you practice, you also improve your chances of

keeping to time. You get a good idea how long each part of the presentation

will actually take, and this helps you plan how much time you'll have for

statements and other audience interactions.

Members of the audience want you to respect their time. If you end your

presentation on time or early, this can make a huge, positive impression on them.

When speakers go over their allowed time, they may disrupt the whole schedule of

the event and/or cause the audience unnecessary inconvenience. Be considerate,

and stick to your agenda as closely as possible.

Presentation Etiquette

Keep your audience tuned in and

respectful of your presentation by

following these tips on presentation

etiquette!

Presentation etiquette should always be

followed, regardless of whether your presentation is for school, the office, a social

group or even a family meeting. If whatever message you are trying to get across is

important enough for you to put a presentation together, then it is important

enough for you to put your best foot forward with your communication skills.

Proper presentation etiquette means:

* You dress the part. No one is going to take you seriously if you are dressed like a

slob (and this includes a family meeting on discussing the new chores roster).

* You don’t chew gum. It is distracting and unattractive.

* You start and finish on time.

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* You know what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Being

confident will get your message across so much better than a presentation filled

with ―um‖s and ―hold on‖ and, ―Oh! Forgot about that!‖

* You speak clearly and audibly. This presentation etiquette tip is vital: your

audience will tune out, otherwise.

* If you are using a slides communicate your message, you don’t read the

screen to your audience. They (hopefully) know read. Proper presentation

etiquette means you keep your audience engaged by using your slides as key points

and building off of them in your speech.

* You don’t fill your slideshow with useless graphs and diagrams. They need to

portray something meaningful or they should be on the cutting room floor.

* You are prepared in case something goes wrong. Presentation etiquette means

that even if you lose the zip drive your slideshow was stored on, you have a

hardcopy back up you can photocopy and distribute.

* At the conclusion of your presentation, you allow time for Q & A. This

presentation etiquette will not only will this help clear up any miscommunications,

but, may also bring to light something you had not previously considered, as well

as encourage audience participation.

Clarity Presentations

Effective presentations emerge from well thought out images illustrating a clear,

concise message. The most eye-catching presentations are not valuable to an

audience if the message is not understood.

At Clarity, we excel at taking your information and molding it into a powerful,

visually compelling message. From the content to the imagery to the technical

applications, we become fully engaged-- crafting a distinctive, polished and effective

presentation.

Clarity of Purpose:

Openly state why your message is important to the audience.

Clarity of the Content:

Key points clearly, succinctly stated and supported.

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Clarity of the Visual:

Present purposeful, relevant visuals illustrating the message

VISUAL AIDS

The use and abuse -

Visual Aids can be utilized to help the audience comprehend and understand specific concepts or steps in your speech; however, their execution can ‗make‘ or ‗break‘ a speech presentation.

While professional and creatively designed and utilized visual aids can enhance the audience‘s experience with the speaker and presentation, poorly executed visual aids can actually detract from your message, leading to audience confusion and detachment.

Consider using a visual aid when…

• Presenting technical data or other quantitative information (via charts & bar graphs)

• Referring to a particular location or place (via a map)

• ‗Words‘ are simply not enough (via a powerful image)

• Describing a particular process or skill (via your own demonstration)

• Outlining specific points of the speech (via a handout, poster, or other form)

• Demonstrating your ethos (via great execution of your visual aids)

Visual aids can take various forms

• PowerPoint technology

• Posters

• Props

• Overhead transparencies

• Handouts

• Media (visual/audio material)

• Human models

Some key factors to consider when presenting with visual aids.

1. ―You are your visual aids.‖ Remember, your visual aid is an extension of

yourself;

Consider it a part of your attire. Would you present with uncombed hair or a

wrinkled Shirt? A sloppy visual aid is an indicator of a sloppy presenter.

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2. Visual aids should accompany the speaker, not overtake the speaker. When

using a visual aid, the audience‘s attention should continue to be on the speaker.

3. ―Less is more.‖ Your audience should not be able to understand the message

via the visual alone, let the speaker be the ‗true‘ source of information. This will

require the audience to pay close attention, rather than simply rely on the visuals.

Visual aids, typically, should only ‗highlight‘ the important information of the

speech.

4. ―Use them and lose them.‖ Visual aids should only be used during the

segment of the speech that they illustrate. Once they are utilized, remove them

from your audience‘s sight either by clicking, covering, removing, hiding, etc. Use

only with permission

5. The use of visual aids should be fluent and undisruptive. Be sure to practice

your speech several times, executing the visual aid each time, in order to perfect

your technique. Always have a Plan B in case problems occur (computer crash,

burnt out bulb, broken easel, etc.)

6. Always retain ownership of your visual aid. Do not pass props, photos, or

other items around the audience. You may ―lose‖ them, or they become

distractions for your audience.

7. Be sure your visual aids don’t give too much away too soon. Disclose bullet

points one at a time. Your audience should not know where you are going with

your speech until you disclose it.

8. Try to minimize the forms of visual aids; the more ‗choreography‘ your

presentation requires, the more opportunity for problems with execution.

9. Remember, all visual aids should help and assist the audience. Do not

alienate your audience by focusing on your visual aids more than them. Your

execution should be a simple and easy process, requiring little attention and effort

away from your communication with them.

Steps to Preparing Your Visual Aids

1. Do not wait until the last minute. Last minute visual aids are usually primitive

or sloppy.

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a. Do not write/print your visual aids. Unless your printing/handwriting style can

be considered as neat and clean as a computer font, let the computer do the work

for you.

b. Always computer generate your graphs and charts.

c. If you are eliciting feedback from your audience and recording it on a visual aid,

use a different color pen/marker and take your time to write it neatly on the poster,

white board, or overhead transparency. Make sure you are using a new and

working marker before the speech.

2. Be sure your visual aid can be clearly seen by the entire audience. Are your

images too small? Is your font large and clear enough?

3. When using posters…

a. Is the poster board thick enough to stand on a visual?

b. Do not roll your poster board.

c. Start your presentation with a blank poster; during the presentation, when not

referring to the posters, continue to cover it with the blank form.

d. Do not speak to the posters – remember, the audience should always maintain

your focus.

e. Be sure your poster board and font coordinate in color. Avoid bright, fluorescent

poster boards. Be sure your colors are easy to view and read. Use only with

permission

f. Consider cutting larger poster boards in half; the smaller your posters, the easier

they are to use; however, keep in mind rule #2.

g. Work with the specific easel before the actual presentation. Do you need to

make adjustments?

4. When using props…

a. Use them then lose them. Once you utilize your prop, place it in the lectern, in a

box or other container. Don‘t continue holding it while speaking.

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b. Don‘t use in a distracting manner. If the prop may be distracting to your

audience, consider another form of visual aid (i.e., a live prop or food).

c. Be sure your prop is large enough to be seen by the entire audience. If it is too

small, consider an enlarged photo/poster.

d. Know how you will hide the prop before the actual presentation.

5. When using transparencies…

a. Computer generate your transparencies with an ink jet or laser printer.

b. Be sure to setup the appropriate placement/position/focus of your projector

before the actual speech.

c. Verify how the transparency transfers to the screen; some printer ink does not

transfer light well. See this before the actual presentation.

d. When presenting bullet points, do not divulge your entire speech via the

overhead. Disclose each bullet point, one at a time with a sheet of paper.

e. If you need to write on the overhead, take your time and write very neatly.

f. Turn on the projector when it is needed; shut it off when don‘t need it.

g. Have your transparencies organized and coordinated before the speech begins.

Place a white sheet of paper between each one, so they are easily identified and

accessible when presenting.

6. When using handouts…

a. Avoid handouts unless absolutely necessary. Audience members will frequently

focus on the handout, rather than the speaker.

b. Do not divulge the entire speech via a handout. If audience members see what

your entire speech is about, they can ‗tune you out.‘

c. Do not pass out handouts of your entire PowerPoint presentation, until after the

presentation ends. Again, an audience who actively listens, formatting/recording

their own notes, will retain the information to a greater degree. The handouts can

be used later for information that the audience member missed or for sharing with

other individuals.

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d. If you need to offer a handout, remember, ―less is more.‖ Make sure the

audience must pay attention to you the speaker in order to achieve the full picture

or receive the complete information.

Use only with permission

7. When using media…

a. The use of visual/audio media should be purposeful, not to eat up time when

you could be presenting information. Try to limit the use of video/audio to 10% or

less of your complete presentation time.

b. Be sure your video/audio are cued before the presentation. Use the timer on the

LCD readouts of the VCR/DVD/CD or other media player as a guide.

c. Be sure the volume is adjusted accordingly so the entire audience can hear and

listen comfortably.

d. Remember your audience, some content of video/audio may be objectionable or

offensive to members. An offended audience member is a lost audience member

who will stop listening and be resilient to your message and goal.

8. When using human models…

a. Make sure your models don‘t upstage you, the presenter. Their involvement

within the presentation should be subtle and as brief as possible.

b. Do not allow them to stay in the staging area for any longer than absolutely

necessary.

c. Your human models should appear as interested in your presentation as you are.

Bored human models will lead to bored audience members.

d. Be sure to conduct a dress rehearsal with your models beforehand to eliminate

any unforeseen problems or confusion.

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Unit IV - Professional communication skill for presentation

Technical presentations Technical presentations serve engineering, scientific and high tech purposes,

describing advances in technology, problem resolution, product design and project

status. In general, technical presentations serve one of two purposes: (1) to inform

(e.g., knowledge transfer, classroom instruction) or (2) to persuade (e.g., convincing

others to adopt a design approach or accept the results of an evaluation process).

Subject Matter Experts (SMEs), individuals who are well-versed in the topic being

presented, generally make technical presentations. Audiences may range from

highly technical (fellow engineers and technologists) to non-technical, and part of

the challenge of preparing and presenting technical material is gauging the

knowledge level of the audience.

One reason for this is that, unlike other public speaking occasions, technical

presenters are not usually expert presenters. Instead, they‘re usually experts in the

material, but not in projecting, engaging the audience, demonstrating enthusiasm,

using humor and other best practices successful presenters use. They may have

little or no preparation for, or background in, public speaking, yet they are required

to do so. Often they present material as if the material should speak for itself, no

additional enthusiasm or expression required.

In his book, Presentations for Dummies, Malcolm Kushner‘s chapter on ―Technical

and Financial Presentations‖ includes comments by Dr. David Haussler, the

mastermind of the human genome project and an expert on technical

presentations. Dr. Haussler says that enthusiasm is the most important element of

a technical presentation.

―Enthusiasm and belief in what you are trying to convey are more important than

the technical details,‖ says Dr. Haussler. ―You can be technically perfect, but if

you‘re not enthusiastic about what you‘re saying, people will fall asleep or walk out.

They‘ll never remember it.‖

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For many presenters, the hostile audience is right up there with stage fright as

their worst nightmare. But just as it is with stage fright, there are ways to deal with

the problem audience.

audiences are naturally supportive and open to what you have to say. Still, the

time may come when The audience is not the enemy.

Most you'll have to face an audience of cynics who are openly resistant or even

hostile. There are ways to deal with the.

Almost always, you'll know in advance that you'll be dealing with a tough audience.

Rarely does it come as a surprise, and when it does, it's usually the result of poor

preparation. So, before you present, make sure you've done your audience analysis.

You can do problem.

Address the issues before you present a lot to minimize and even prevent adverse

audience reaction by anticipating how your listeners are likely to react to what you

say.

Know analysis should tell you what you need to know about the attitudes, biases,

or concerns your audience may have. What does your audience think about your

topic? Is your topic controversial, likely your listeners—and what drives them.

Your audience to stir emotions or lead to a backlash? Will you be putting people on

the defensive? What are the. If, for example, your audience research tells you some

issues can't be waved away, and you know they're going expectations of those you

know will be in your audience? Will they, for example, be expecting you to address

their concerns about some deeply felt issue?

As you prepare, focus on these and other issues that could trigger negative

emotions. Anticipate negative issues that may come up, acknowledge them, and

place them in a context of your choosing as you build your presentation. That way,

you're framing the issue yourself and proactively responding to it in a way that

helps to achieve your objectives to come up anyway, attack them head on. That

way, you'll be able to present them in a manner that will help defuse the situation.

Further, by addressing sensitive issues as part of your overall remarks, you will at

least show you're alert to the concerns of your listeners.

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At the same time, don't go overboard when anticipating a negative response. Go

with your audience knowledge and your instincts in judging what issues to raise

and address in your presentation, and what to leave out. You certainly don't want

to raise an issue that wasn't on anyone's mind in the first place.

The listener who is still resistant—no matter what.

What happens when you've prepared thoroughly, but some of your listeners are

still not satisfied How do you deal with those who openly disagree with you or

challenge you? Here are some tips:

Stay calm at all costs. If you return the fire, you'll only encourage more

negative behavior.

Don't judge your entire audience by the reactions of a few, who may not

represent the views of everyone. People who interrupt, loudly disagree, or

become combative are likely to offend others in the audience as well.

Be sure to address the issue only. Don't put the individual on the defensive

and certainly don't criticize anyone personally.

Look for areas of agreement you can build on. That doesn't mean you should

back down when all your research tells you you're right. Looking for

common ground is not a form of compromise. You can acknowledge the

other person's point of view without agreeing with it.

Stay within the immediate discussion. Avoid offering more facts or opinions

that could trigger more disagreement.

Avoid getting bogged down in an adversarial exchange that seems to go on

forever. Once you've covered a topic as thoroughly as you choose to, end the

discussion by saying simply that you've explained your position, but now it's

time to move on. You can offer to discuss the issue further after your

presentation.

Do interrupt when someone with a dissenting view wanders onto another

subject or appears about to give a presentation of his own. Make it clear that

time is short and that you want to stay focused on the day's agenda.

To keep things in perspective: It's the rare audience that will not give you a fair

hearing. But be prepared when someone in your audience does get out of hand.

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Handling Q&A sessions

Questions, Anyone?

It ain't over till it's over, goes the saying. And it ain't over till you've successfully

handled whatever questions may come up during or after your presentation. Here,

in Q&A form, are some tips on approach this often-critical aspect of your

presentation.

Why are questions and your responses so important?

Questions are the interactive element of your presentation. They give you a chance

to respond to the concerns of your audience by adjusting your presentation on the

fly.

Plus, you can take each one as an opportunity to support your argument and

reinforce your message. It's also an opportunity to learn more about your audience

and give them a chance to see you think on your feet.

What's the best way to prepare for questions?

Start by anticipating questions that might come up. What questions are likely to be

prompted by your presentation? But don't stop there. If you've done your audience

analysis, you should know what concerns your listeners might have, even those

unrelated to your presentation that could lead to questions. Make a list of allthe

questions that might arise, including especially the toughest ones. Then prepare a

response for each one and make this part of your rehearsal. Prepare even if you're

not sure there will be a formal Q&A session. Be ready for those "impromptu"

questions that might arise.

Once the questions start coming, what should you do?

First, listen to the question. You may have to go beneath the surface and read

between the lines. You may detect a hidden motive behind the question. A little

paranoia won't hurt, but don't assume either that every question is a loaded one.

The toughest questions can come from those who agree with you, but who may

simply want to get a more complete answer.

"Make sure you hear and understand the full question before answering."

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Make sure you hear and understand the full question before answering. Ask for

clarification of anything you don't understand. Don't pre-empt the questioner by

answering before the question is fully stated.

Be straightforward. If you don't know the answer, don't guess. Admit you don't

know; offer to get the answer and provide it to your questioner.

What types of questions—or questioners—should you be wary of?

There are those who will take over questioning, if you let them. It may be just a few

people who keep asking away.

How do you stay in control when any of these things happens?

It's not your job to provide others with a soapbox of their own. If someone starts to

dominate a Q&A session, respond to the first question or comment, then move on

to include other people in the interaction. Make sure no one else has a question,

before you come back to the same person or call an end to the Q&A session.

If someone missed something you said in your presentation, repeat it briefly. It's

possible others may have missed it too. Even if you've already answered the

question, respond again, being careful not to embarrass someone who may not

have been paying attention.

If the question is totally irrelevant, allow it if it serves your interest. But again, keep

your answer short. If you would gain nothing by answering, state that you want to

keep the discussion focused on the subject.

Be quick to correct a questioner who wrongly paraphrases something you said or

makes an assumption you don't share. Don't be led into giving yes-or-no answers if

you'd rather put your answer in context.

What about hostile questions?

These pose a special challenge, and they can come in a variety of forms. Again, not

every tough question is a hostile one. But some questions clearly are, and those are

easy enough to spot. They may come as a challenge to something you've said, or

even as an attack on you.

How should you deal with hostile questions?

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The best way is to head them off. Consider what parts of your presentation could

lead to disagreement. Your audience analysis, for example, might indicate certain

biases or preconceptions among your listeners. You may be able to address these

by embedding what amounts to a rebuttal in your presentation. Don't put the

questioner on the defensive and certainly don't criticize the questioner. Get right to

the issues. You may find an area of agreement that you can build on in your

response. Stick to the facts and to what you know.

What if there are no questions?

Turn the tables. Go to a specific point you made in your presentation—one that's

likely to stimulate discussion. Ask your listeners what they think. Do they agree

with you? Do they have other opinions? Some of your listeners may have questions

they'd rather not ask in an open meeting. Allow for that possibility by offering to

take questions one-on-one at the end of the session.

Are there other techniques that help?

Think of responding to questions as part of your presentation. In reality, you're still

presenting. Hold eye focus with your questioner. Listen closely. Don't interrupt.

Maintain a neutral stance. Refrain from nodding as if indicating that you hear or

understand the question. That can be taken as a sign that you agree with what is

stated in the question. Pause before answering, keeping your focus on the

questioner. During your answer, move your eyes to include others in the room. End

your answer with your eyes focused on someone else. If you return your focus to

the questioner, that can invite another question from that same person.

As the presentation comes to an end and you've taken your final question, it's a

good to idea to repeat your closing remarks, particularly if you've been responding

to questions for a while. That way you can drive home your call to action and avoid

ending on a vague or weak note.

What's the best kind of answer?

Short. Simple. Concise.

A final note.

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You can craft a great presentation and deliver it brilliantly. But if you fumble in

responding to questions you can damage your credibility and sink your

presentation in a flash.

Turn-taking

In the absence of formal agendas, the set of practices through which turns are

allocated in conversation has been the subject of study in its own right. The turn-

taking model for conversation was arrived at inductively through empirical

investigation of field recordings of conversations and fitted to the observationally

derived facts as that in conversation, participants are constrained to issue their

utterances in allocated turns, and enlist various mechanisms to obtain them.

Initial interest was in very simple forms that take place in two-party conversations

where sentence completion, or pause, might be enough to allocate the next turn to

the co-present party in the manner that has been discussed under the rubric of

'adjacency pairs'.

In multi-party conversations the mechanisms were found to be more complicated

where 'current speaker selects next' is a possibility, and how frequently individual

utterances are tailored for their turn 'sequential implicativeness'. The possibility of

obtaining not only the next turn, but a series of turns (required for example in

telling a joke or story) is documented in analyses of announcements and story

prefaces. A certain economy in conversation could be located in the process

whereby turns are allocated. That economy was directed at the 'turn commodity',

but also in myriad other instances for example person identifiers and locators

where minimal forms are utilized in an economic fashion.

Other collections of turn allocation mechanisms include use of 'repeats', the elision

of lexical forms, the use of temporal .

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Unit V - Social Communication skills presentation

Fight Shyness And Win Confidence

Chapter 1: Comprehend your shyness

―At parties and get-togethers, whenever I have to venture out of my acquainted

surroundings, I suffer from a harried sensation. I feel scared of going out, especially

of attending formal gatherings. I feel tongue-tied; no witty repartee comes to my

mind. I lose my ease and act clumsily while eating; I forget to pick up the correct

forks and spoons. So I tend to refuse most of the invitations. My social life is

steadily plummeting. I spend my Saturday nights in front of my TV, with only my

dog to keep me company. But I do not want to spend such a drab and dreary life, I

want to go out and have fun too! So I wish I could change myself and get over my

limitations.‖

―The part of work I hate most is the lunchtime. At lunch, I sit along with my

colleagues, but simply fail to take an active part in the lively banter around me. I

feel queasy, and badly wish that lunch were over so everyone could go back to

work‖

―I want to speak out and express my ideas at group discussions. But what stops

me is that feeling that everyone would find them stupid. I watch in silence as other

people furnish the same ideas and are applauded. I feel it is too great a risk to voice

my opinions. So I do not speak. However, at times, I do wish to be able to pioneer

concepts.‖

Do any of these situations resemble your plight? Perhaps it does; why else would

you want to open this e-book?

The common problem of all the people mentioned here is that, they suffer from

shyness.

Shyness might be a heritable disorder. But in most cases, your environment is

responsible for making you shy. However, there is no need to be worried. According

to Philip Zimbardo, 80% of the people who participated in the Stanford Shyness

Survey admitted to suffer from shyness at some point in their lives. Fight Shyness

and Win

Confidence – A step-by-step guide

What shyness is Shyness involves a collection of learned reflexes that induces

drawing back from contact with people. Thus it is a behavior pattern that is

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distinguished by hang-ups in social situations. It often interferes with achieving

professional as well as interpersonal goals.

The good news is that you can easily dispose of your shyness. It‘s simply a

behavioral modification, a proactive decision that you need to take. All you need

to do is to relax while interacting with people in social situations. Effective

communication skills will enrich your life and enable you to live fully. You will

become assertive and start to speak up for yourself.

After reading this book you will find out all you need to understand about shyness

and also learn seven easy stages that will help you to overcome your diffidence.

So hurry up, move ahead. You will come across tests that you can take and find

out your progress.

Factors to bear in mind whenever you encounter a circumstance

Remember these points each time to come upon new people and have to interact

with them. The best thing to do would be to learn these by heart or note them down

for easy reference later on.

1. There are others like me out there.

2. I possess the right to speak out just like others. It is my fundamental privilege.

3. I am only a human being, it is ok to make slip ups.

4. Making a few mistakes is perfectly all right.

5. I am doing very well. I am no less that the person next to me.

Remember, the key to success is a positive outlook towards life. You have to make

an active effort in order to change your traits. You have the power to make miracles

happen, only if you yearn to do so. And while you are in the process, be positive

and keep reminding yourself, ―Yes, it is possible. I can change into a more

confident and assured individual‖.

Exploring Shyness

According to Ronald Buss, shyness is embarrassment, self-consciousness and

unease in social association and feeling insecure around others. However, there is

more to shyness.

Shyness springs from the dread of being disapproved and negatively criticized.

Those who suffer from shyness become ultra sensitive from their early years, or

some times later in life. The result is that, every time they face a challenging

situation they tend to raise an insurmountable barricade. They hold back from

saying something or doing things because they are over-concerned about how

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others will respond to them. Every thing that comes easily and normally to other

people, cause agonizing pain and appear to be a torment for shy human beings.

The distinction between shyness and social phobia

Shyness is NOT a mental disease. In general, the level of fear, apprehension or

nervousness about social situations is a good deal higher in individuals suffering

from social phobia than it is in shy people. Social phobic people have an irrational

and persistent horror of social situations that creates in them an intense desire to

totally shun social connections. A social phobic often altogether fails to attend a

party, while shy people are able to go but may wind up isolated, sitting alone in a

corner all through the revelry. The fear of being evaluated by others can induce

panic attacks in a phobic person. Over a period of four years, Dr. Zimbardo carried

out a survey among approximately 5000 persons. He recorded his conclusion in an

audiotape named Winning Over Shyness:"Shy people are typically not liked by as

many people as they like, or want to like them, but, in fact, are often liked by very

few."

Shyness and stage fright There exists a close connection between shyness and

stage fright. Shyness is more of a one-to-one phenomenon, the fear lies with facing

an audience of one, while stage fright is the panic of facing a number of spectators.

The defining features of shyness

1. Shyness makes people go through a higher degree of anxiety than what is

normal.

The horror of censure, the anxiety that a much wanted outcome will not come to

pass and the fear of ‗fear‘ itself, hold shy people back from making an effort when

they are the centre of attention. Normal people also at times feel troubled about

the upshot of a specific action but their worry does not prevent them from trying.

Shy people fret to a much greater extent.

2. Shyness has the tendency to hit at particular social situations. For instance, the

first day of school, at the time of being introduced to someone new, especially

some one you fancy or feel attracted to, when giving a presentation - situations in

which you feel unsure of what to expect. Shyness recedes amidst familiar people

and in situations where you are sure of the outcome.

3. Extremely shy persons find it hard to push through their feelings of shyness.

They hesitate to try new things. Ultimately their shyness damages their self-image

and often end up spending an agonizingly lonesome life.

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Signs of Shyness

1. At any social gathering where most are strangers, you tend to lose your tongue.

2. Every time you get to meet some one new, you find it difficult to talk to them.

You feel tensed and nervous if you are to initiate a dialogue.

3. Even if the other person begins the conversation, you keep your replies limited

to ―yes‖ and ―no‖.

4. You shrink from parties and social does simply because you dread sitting alone

in a corner.

5. You find it difficult to approach strangers, even for asking directions.

6. At times you have longed to join in a conversation but failed, only because you

didn‘t know what to say, or were too scared to speak up.

7. You often find yourself replaying conversations in your mind, thinking ―I

should have said something different‖.

8. You seem to end up spending most of your time all by your self, but can‘t find a

way to change this.

Can you identify with any of the above-mentioned scenarios? If your answer is yes

to most of these, then it is a definite indication that you are shy. But relax; there is

no need to panic! As we have mentioned before, you can definitely get over your

shyness if you put your shoulder to the wheel and go on trying single-mindedly.

There are a several gestures that convey shyness. Expressions of shyness are like

its characteristics. The only exception is that the expressions are quite prompt. The

most common ways through which shyness is expressed by people include:

In the way they speak Commonly shy people are very reserved. They draw back

from taking part in conversations. They will speak up only when they are spoken

to, and restrict their replies to monosyllabic words. Inbred behavioral patterns in

social situations for example smiling, easily coming up with suitable topics for

conversation, taking up a relaxed carriage and building good eye contact – traits

that come artlessly in the average person, may require struggling or become totally

unachievable for a shy person. .

In their postures and facial expressions Shy persons rarely are capable of making

direct eye contact while speaking. Their body language tends to be somewhat

defensive and beseeching.

In their attitude and physical sensations

Shyness affects a person‘s feelings. They feel either fear or hesitation about acting

in a normal way. They tend to be uncommunicative. They go through a higher level

of anxiety than is normal. In cases of fear, their heart races, they become

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breathless, speechless, and shaky. A crippling numbness spreads over them.

Matters are worsened by the dread of evaluation by others at the time of social

performing. This all consuming fear paralyzes them and hampers their normal

functioning. If they experience selfconsciousness, they go through physical

sensations like feeling flushed, and hide their bashfulness by speaking too fast,

unintelligibly, and stammering.

Loneliness

Shy people are lonesome.

Notice that in all these aspects of shyness, communication and social skills are the

foremost features that get affected.

What Causes Shyness

They key to triumphing over any setback becomes simple as soon as you make out

the reason behind the setback. Shyness is no different. To overcome it, you have to

understand why you suffer from it. So, let‘s have a look at:

The roots of shyness Fear of trying out new thingsBe it a new job, a new state of

affairs, unfamiliar persons, or a new locality. Similar to most behavioral patterns,

shyness has its roots in a shy person‘s infancy, at about the time when the kid is

exposed to new people, unknown relatives or friends. It is at this time when a kid

learns to communicate with strangers. Some kids take a liking to new faces and in

fact show interest, while others just retract and build up shyness.

A fear of people

In addition to this fear, lies the fear of negative criticism. For shy people, meeting

some one new can be harrowing only because they are scared about how they are

perceived.

―A new person‖ can be:

1. Strangers encountered at the office or at societal location

2. Members of the opposite sex.

3. Authorities in the place of work or in the educational institution.

This happens because shy people often have a negative self image.

A fear of situations

The level of shyness usually rises with formal situations. This is because a certain

‗code of conduct’ or decorum has to be obeyed at formal occasions. Shy people

worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. As a result, they end up acting

clumsily.

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Occasions when such a fear strikes: Too much social attention

It is your moment. Every eye is turned on you. And you freeze. You feel inadequate.

To add to your discomfiture, you end up committing some faux pas, which only

increases your awareness of your shortfalls.

This often stems from humiliating experiences in the past, in the childhood. Being

bullied or teased by peers or siblings can make a person retreat into a shell. Such

occurrences distorts the sense of ‗self‘ that is being formed.

Too little attention

At times, too little attention from others can lead to a feeling of being rejected. You

feel left out, and do not feel like you belong. As a result, you feel as if you are

deficient in something, and later this sense of lacking makes you afraid of opening

up in society.

The fear of being judged negatively

This perhaps ranks the highest among the fears felt by shy people. Is it not often

that you find yourself thinking, ―Oh my god, why did I say such a stupid thing?

They will definitely laugh at me‖ or may be, ―Why did I tell him about my mistakes?

He must be thinking what a stupid person I am!‖

Low self esteem

The inferior your assessment of yourself, the lesser will be your desire of freely

mixing with others. Your self image will be poorer, you will deem yourself

absolutely dull. And you will start to believe that every one else see you in the same

light. As expected, you will stay away from meeting new people. Often the causes of

this behavior are silent and imperceptible, that occurs in the childhood, when the

‗self‘ is taking shape.

When one or both parents are extremely aggressive

In such cases, a child starts considering everybody as potentially hostile. Thus they

become intimidated by certain situations.

A critical family

When a child grows up in a family full of critical people, who fail to nurture its

positive qualities and harp on its negative traits instead, the child tends to draw

back into a cocoon. When the family, instead of expressing joy in its

accomplishments continuously expresses disapproval, the child becomes unsure of

its capacities. Thus it grows up expecting everyone to judge them negatively.

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Unaffectionate Families

Lack of expression of tender feelings, love and care by close relatives when a child

is growing up can contribute to shyness.

Learned behavior

A person‘s natural tendency towards shyness can be influenced by what they have

learned from others, especially close relatives. When the parents are shy and find

socializing unnerving, their actions end up inadvertently teaching the child to

consider socializing as unpleasant.

Effects of shyness

Isolation is not a desired state for shy persons. They choose to be alone simply

because the other option is extremely terrifying for them. They are terrified of being

humiliated in public, and their poor self-image makes them believe that they will

invariably be humiliated if they try to break out of their shell. It is not that they

dislike being the cynosure of all eyes but their fear makes them stay isolated.

Some of the consequences and long-term effects of shyness

Boredom

Boredom is a state of mind that can be kept at bay by trying out new things, let

your hair down once in a while and be adventurous. But these involve coming in

contact with unfamiliar things, and so shy people are likely to avoid them.

Dysfunctionality

Shyness can cause difficulty making and maintaining close personal relationships.

Shy people lack the social skills necessary for making friends. Moreover, they are

often fearful of social situations, and hence avoid them. As a result, they become

lonely.

Loneliness leading to bitterness

In the long run, a shy person narrows down his world and end up leading a solitary

life. They close the doors to opportunities that could make their lives more

interesting and fulfilling. This creates bitterness. Ultimately they may start

indulging in vicarious pleasures.

Lack of assertiveness

Shy people fail to stick up for themselves, both in the workplace as well as in

personal matters. Hence, they are often exploited by peers.

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Problem in effective communication

Evading social situations make shy people grow up into adults lacking effective

communication skills. They do not possess the power of expressing their emotions.

They fail to relate to others. Their shyness may be misinterpreted as aloofness and

they come across as stuck up.

Academic impediment

Shyness makes a child fail to ask for help from their teachers, even when they need

to clear their doubts on the subject being taught. This leads to poor grades and

overall poor performance in school. The long-term effect may be hindrance in

advancing in career.

get rid of your Shyness

―For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one hacking at the

root‖,

believed American writer Thoreau.

Sure, you can beat shyness. Only, you need to change your way of thinking, your

philosophy of life. No achievement is easy. But of course, if you can strike at the

root of a problem, you can fix it.

This chapter will show you get straight to the heart of the problem and solve it in

five simply steps.

Step 1: Know yourself

The first step towards understanding the problem is to understand some basic

facts about your own self. Self ImageEvery one has a self image, and so do you. It

is the way you see yourself, the opinion that you have of yourself. Right now, it is

far removed from what you really are. What you have to do is this: Get a clearer

perception of your personality and character.

Attitude The old adage goes – ―You can take the horse to the river but you can’t make it

drink the water‖. Similarly, in order to change, you must have the desire to

change. And this implies a change in your mind-set. This change must be a real

target that you want to reach, and not just a vague aspiration.

Viewpoint As has been mentioned before, one of the leading causes of shyness is the fear of

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judgment. In most cases, this fear is rooted in your viewpoint. You view people as

judgmental and think they are appraising you disapprovingly.

Shy people have a different perception of the world and their opinions are based on

their own perceptions. Such opinions, often distorted, govern their behavior. As

Covey put it, ―We must look at the lens through which we see the world as well as

the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.‖ Thus

we see a sea-change in perception is necessary.

Step 2: Recognize the problem

Ahead of working on the solution, we should try to spot the problem and the

foundation of it. Here‘s an exercise to help you identify both.

Bring to mind a Social Situation that left you embarrassed in the recent past

Do you remember the last time you made a blunder at a party?

Are you scared of repeating that blunder?

So what was the nature of your ‗blunder‘?

a. You said something that embarrassed you, something inappropriate.

b. You acted clumsily, and spilled something while eating.

c. You could no speak at all.

Now that you have recognized the problem, let us go ahead towards the solution

Step 3: Examine your fear-provoking ideas

The circumstances This could be any social situation. It could be the office where

you work, a social gathering, a personal contact between two people, anything.

The proof confirming the fear These are the proofs that establish that your fears are

not baseless. Say for example, you have a notion that you are a lousy public

speaker. How did you form this opinion? Have you ever tried talking in public

before? Did it lead to something bad? Why was it bad?

Was it because of any of your fault, or were there some other reasons behind it?

The answer to this answer will tell you whether your fears are baseless or have a

concrete foundation.

Let us take the case of this girl named Stella. She had an idea that her boss did not

like her. One day she made a particularly good presentation. Her boss praised her

and pointed out ways by which she could better her performance even more. Stella

was overwhelmed. She perceived her boss‘s pointers as criticisms of her

performance. When we interrogated her closely, she acknowledged that her boss

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had also praised her quite a lot. After some more questioning, she admitted that

the suggestions for improvement were mentioned only in passing.

The flip side of the problem Jeff once cracked a joke at a party in front of a colleague. But the colleague paid no

attention. Jeff now believes that he is not funny and had a sordid sense of humor.

How did he become so sure? He never asked his colleague why he did not laugh.

Isn‘t it possible that the colleague was preoccupied, or ha a trying day? Can‘t it be

that the colleague was simply tired and missed whatever Jeff said? We asked Jeff to

go talk to the colleague. He found out that his colleague indeed had a really bad

day at the office and was not in a mood to laugh.

Now that you have remembered your last social blunder that left you embarrassed,

sit and think:

1. Think about the way you felt.

2. Think about the entire event.

3. What exactly were your feelings after the event took place? Upset, angry, guilty,

ashamed, sorry for yourself – what was your exact emotion?

4. Identify what you thought and the negative message you gave yourself – Did you

make any statement like ―I‘ll never‖ or ―I should have‖?

Now replace these negative messages with more positive beliefs about yourself –

these are called ‗affirmations‘

Examples: "I can get over my shyness."

"I can make a slip while chatting with unknown people and even then make new

friends."

"I can be at ease and hold a discussion at meetings."

Aren‘t you feeling better already?

Common Mistaken Beliefs held by Shy People

―If I talk to a stranger I shall say something that would embarrass me, so it is

better that I do not speak at all‖

Counterargument: Are you a psychic, how can you forecast the future? How do

you know whatever you will say will embarrass you? Avoiding speaking is not

the solution. Instead, practice speaking as much as possible, the more you try, the

better you ill get at socializing.

―I simply don‘t know what to say when I have to take part in a conversation‖

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Counterargument: Do you just have to say the ―right‖ thing at all times? How do

you know, what is right? Isn‘t it better if you just expressed your opinion and set

the ball rolling for a nice well-rounded conversation?

"No body is interested in listening to what I have to say."

Counterargument: do you have the capacity to read minds? There just might be

someone who shares the same viewpoints as you do and would be interested in

getting to know more about you.

"Every one will rebuff me and I will fail to deal with this rejection."

Counterargument: do not undermine your own capacities. Of course you can

practice and learn to tackle rejection. Use rejection to improve your zeal for

attaining success.

The underlying idea is that you need to apply your thoughts positively. Overcoming

shyness is mostly about effectively eliminating negative attitude. Negatively

criticizing yourself makes situations that already induce anxiety in you snowball

into a huge complications. You should not believe the worst about yourself without

any tangible evidence. Remember, there is every possibility of the existence of

extraneous reasons behind a certain act in a certain situation.

The worst possible outcome of a situation

Next, jot down the worst-case scenarios that may come about through what you do

or

what you say:

―They might laugh at me‖

―I may never be invited again‖

―They will find me abominable‖

―I will say the wrong thing and embarrass myself‖.

The list goes on. Don‘t you think, you have absolutely no way to find out whether

what you are thinking will really come to pass unless you actually do it?

After you have pin-pointed your fear, go ahead and actually act out your worst-case

scenario.

Example:

Suppose you are attracted to your neighbor Jane. What might happen if you ask

Jane out?

Suppose you ask Jane for a date. The worst-case scenario, she might reject. What

will happen as a result of it? You will feel awkward next time you come across her.

You may think that the whole world has come to know about what has passed

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between you two and is laughing at you behind your back. What of it? In the long

run, you will get over her and forget about the whole thing. Then, every thing will

get back to normal. So, how bad your worst possible outcome of the situation ―Ask

Jane for a date‖ really was? It was not much, was it?

Step 4 Handle fear-provoking ideas

By now, you must have recognized your problem and scrutinized it. You next action

should be to prepare for the circumstances that trigger your fears. Now go ahead,

and boldly face it!

Afterwards, sit back and dissect the outcome of the situation. How bad was it? Was

it as bad as you thought it would be, or was it worse? Wasn‘t it actually somewhat

less severe than what you thought it might be? Hasn‘t one or most of your friends

been in a similar situation at some point in their lives? How did they handle it?

Avoid avoidance, you‘ll survive it

1. Picture a completely embarrassing act. Say, talking to a baby watched by a

horde of strangers. Baby talk may well be utterly embarrassing. Now go ahead and

do it. See for yourself. The end results do not actually match with what your

thoughts predicted to you.

2. Accept rejection as a part of life. If you face a setback in a certain situation, try

something new instead.

3. Praise yourself for making the effort. Reward your efforts, not the outcome.

Other people‘s reactions to us are beyond your control. Yet, we tend to define our

achievements and downers through people‘s responses. If you smile and they smile

back, very well. But if they don‘t, you are not responsible for it. Sure, you can

scrutinize on your effort and contemplate about ways by which you can better your

performance next time. But right at this moment, you made an effort and pat

yourself on the back for it. You can even give yourself a treat!

5. Steel yourself for meeting several new people and try them out as potential

friends before you find a lasting bond. Finding a real connection with someone is

rare, every one just has to face some sour experiences in their quest. So don‘t be

put off if you try to break our of your shell and are rebuffed the first time.

6. Mentally shift into a self-assured gear by acting like someone whose social grace

you admire. May be you find it embarrassing to speak with an attractive member

of the opposite sex. A simple remark, like ―How are you doing?‖ could make you

blush and feel all eyes are riveted at you, waiting to hear your reply. And you

stutter. Now try acting like you are not shy. Next time some one ‗cute‘ asks you

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something, reply boldly and see how they and every one else react. You will see that

every body reacts totally normally.

Logical flaws

Can you think of ANY one who is absolutely perfect? Nobody is. So cut yourself

some slack, don‘t be such a hard task-master with yourself. Remember, everyone,

even the best of statesmen, performers, comedians, and socialites have made some

horrendous faux pas at some point or the other. But every body remembers them

for their virtues, not their gaffes. So in the long run, it‘s all right to make mistakes

from time to time. Besides, never judge a situation when you are feeling depressed.

The way you think when you feel low is very different from the way you think at

other times.

Step 5 Rate yourself

Finally, now that you have completed all the exercises, it is time to assess yourself.

Be your own critic, don‘t hesitate to be a little hard on yourself. This will give a

boost to your performance.

Weapons to fight shyness The skills that will come in handy in your battle against shyness are Interpersonal

and Social skills. This has two stages:

Social skills acquisition This is invaluable for people who have no idea about such skills.

Social skills practice: This is meant for those persons who know the skills but did not have the proper

guidance for executing these. Here are a few of the most typical situations we face

in our day-to-day life. We present some pointers for you to help you hone your

social skills and use them in such situations.

Exercise 1

The art of conversations and taking part in a group discussion

When you wish to enter a group of people in order to take part in the conversation,

the first thing to do is to stand on the periphery and listen attentively. Try to figure

out whether it is a serious discussion or a friendly banter. After a while, get in and

take a position where you can be heard as well as hear what is being said. Do not

linger at the periphery for too long, but do not try to gain the centre stage all at

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once. Get a good grasp of what is being discussed, the context and the references.

Then, if you feel you have a fitting comment to make, look for the right moment and

speak up.

Every time you are asked to a get-together or party, try to do groundwork on the

other guests on the list. In every social attendance, there are some people who find

it hard to open up, while some are the life and soul of the party. Ensure that your

remarks are open ended, questions that allow the conversation to flow.

Here‘s an illustration of a close-ended dialogue

Example:

―Hi! Nice party! ―

―Yes‖

―The host is very friendly‖

―Yes‖

―Having a nice time?‖

―Yes‖

This conversation is going nowhere. At some point of time, either of the two is going

to lose interest and move away. If you are the one who put in the first observation,

in an attempt to strike up a conversation, you might feel that you are the one who‘s

at fault. But it could also be that the other person is in an off-mood and not feeling

like speaking beyond monosyllables.

Do not leave home without rehearsing Conversation Topics. People who have the

gift of the gab can hold people‘s interest because:

a) They go to a lot of places, do many interesting things, such that they are never at

a loss for topics to talk about.

b) They prepare topics of discussion.

They think of something to say to the people who they are going to meet that day.

While going to a party, they try to keep in mind topics that would interest the other

guests, especially when they know who would be attending. Before going to work,

they plan how they would represent their weekend revelries to their colleagues.

They keep up-to-date on the current affairs, at least have something ready to say

about the weather, any thing to keep up the small-talk.

So before you leave home today, cook up a good many conversation starters.

The art of complimenting

Take care that the compliment does NOT sound vague.

Example: After a spectacular speech: ―You‘ve done it again!‖ – This does not convey

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anything.

The compliment should not have a negative tone

Example: ―I never thought you will give such a brilliant speech.‖

Keep it short and sweet. While framing a compliment, highlight the receiver‘s

merits.

Mary always fumbled when it came to complimenting people. At times she would

come up with self-deprecating statements: ―I‘m a horrible speaker, but you are so

wonderful at speeches.‖

The effect of such a comment would invariably be that the receiver, instead of

feeling good about the accolade, would shift their focus on consoling her.

She practiced the exercises outlined here, and now she has become an expert in

the art of complimenting. No she clearly understands the response mechanism.

First she appraises the person and then pays a compliment based on their

strengths, keeping her statement short and sweet. For example, ―Oh, your speech

was wonderful!‖. This instantly makes the receiver warm up to her.

The art of saying no Shy people are often not assertive. They fail to refuse, or

express their wish. Thus they frequently wind up doing something they would

rather not. This adds to their dissatisfaction and feelings of insignificance.

Hints Be straightforward. Never beat around the bush.

Just say no. Don‘t supply excuses.

Clearly state why you are refusing, and give a sound reason.

You do not need to apologize for refusing to do something you do not want to.

Practice! Practice! Practice!

To perfect your skills, you need to practice them constantly. Take your friends into

confidence. Test your skills in front of your close pals, who know and understand

your problem. Take their feedback and be open to new ideas for improvement.

Select a testing ground where you feel that whatever be the outcome, it won‘t affect

you too much. This will lessen your nervousness. Plan ahead, write down what you

want to say beforehand. Try out your plans at the test spot. Asses your

performance in this first practice test, then look for scopes of improvement.

To sum it up, here are the things that you need to do:

practice it at home repeatedly. Only then you feel confident at the time of appearing

for a test, isn‘t it? Similarly, don‘t shy away from socializing, practice social

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behaviors. Practice good eye contact, smiling warmly, confident body language,

topics for small talk, and soliciting queries with those you are most at ease. This

will help increase your confidence.

Choose one social skill to put into practice at a time. There is no need to turn into a

social butterfly all at once. Focus your attention on one particular skill, something

simple like smiling or greeting new people, practice for a week or for a month, then

move on to the next one. This will build a strong foundation to your skills.

Plan ahead. Have you been avoiding something for quite some time? Try it out, but

first write down all you want to say on a piece of paper. Go over it loudly, stand in

front of the mirror if you want. Then go ahead and do it. You may not do it

perfectly, but that‘s okay. At least you tried! Next time, it will be easier for you, and

thus you‘ll do better.

Befriend yourself. Stop being concerned with how others view you, tune out of the

likelihood of negative judgment. Don‘t be too hard on yourself, it‘s perfectly all right

not to be perfect. Do you criticize the person you love most for the same things you

condemn yourself? Try to modify your outer behavior to come across as a confident

person, to cope better with situations we face in life. Focus on your good qualities

and strengths. Accept your imperfections, after all, if everyone became absolutely

perfect, things would become quite monotonous, isn‘t it?

Build up your assertiveness. May be you are too concerned with how others will

react, and feel you will cause trouble. So you do not speak up for yourself even

when you should. Boldly ask for what you want, tell people when they are

overstepping boundaries. Assertiveness is not rudeness. It builds self-respect.

Relax your mind

A relaxed mind helps overcome shyness. When you are relaxed, there is no way you

can feel anxious. Hence, to increase your comfort in social situations, learn some

relaxing techniques.

Useful Relaxation techniques:

1) Learn relaxation exercises like deep-breathing.

Practice in quiet surroundings.

Get rid of all distracting thoughts. Chant a single word, if possible, a single syllable

word, like ―Oum!‖

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Hold an inert stance. Let repose come over you. Position yourself comfortably,

either lie down on your favorite couch or sit in a comfortable chair. Total body

support is vital.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose, hold it for a

second, and then release it very slowly to a count of four. You will instantly feel

tranquil.

While you exhale, loosen up your body and feel the support on every part of it.

Look for tension in any part, and if you find any, try to let it go away.

Visualize a scene

While you use the relaxation techniques, try to visualize with a positive outlook the

exact experience or situation in which you want to feel relaxed. Do this repeatedly,

it is very effective.

Alternatively, you may sit quietly and picture in your mind some place where you

feel extremely relaxed. In your imagination, take in all the sights, sounds, smells

and the like of that place. While you do this, continue deep-breathing and

tranquilizing the tense parts of your body. Use this strategy ahead of meeting

someone you do not know, asking for a date, attending a meeting, and all such

situations that normally make you panicky.

Pointers for winning over shyness:

open up, encourage them to speak about themselves, their likes and dislikes, their

opinions and experiences. Keep in mind any funny anecdote or interesting

information them come up with.

comfortable with you, they will automatically take you into their trusted circle.

he event you are attending, do not be over-conscious

about your shyness and drawbacks. Relax and star enjoying yourself, and you will

se your discomfiture melt away!

Summary

Shyness is a behavioral condition. It originates from sensitivity. A timid and

introverted person looks at the world in a light different from others. He/she

envisages that every one is judging him/her all the time, evaluating his/her every

action and giving him/her negative scores. This is even more pronounced at the

time of social interactions. As a result, the shy person withdraws into a shell,

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becomes reserved and ham-fisted. In due course, they end up very feeling alone

forlorn. Extreme cases of shyness can result in dysfunctional families and collapse

of relationships.

Here we have elucidated the causes of shyness and shown overcome it in a few

easy steps. Changes may not occur overnight, but once you start trying, you will

definitely see a progress. Take proactive steps, and in no time you will grow to be a

selfassured, assertive human being.

Quiz yourself

Find out how shy you are:

Use the following scale to rate your answers;

1. Write "0" next to the question if the answer is "no way."

2. Write "1" next to the question if the answer is "rarely."

3. Write "2" next to the question if the answer is "now and then."

4. Write "3" next to the question if the answer is "frequently."

5. Write "4" next to the question if the answer is "all the time."

This is not exactly a scientific record, but it may possibly assist you identify the

exact problems you face due to shyness.

1. Do you feel nervous when you are introduced to people?

2. Do you get tongue-tied when you need to talk or express your opinion, especially

in an unfamiliar place amidst unknown people?

3. Do you have to put in great efforts to keep a conversation rolling?

4. Do you stutter and stumble when trying to hold a dialogue with a stranger?

5. How frequently do you come across people with whom you share common

interests?

6. Can you talk freely to people with whom you have common interests?

7. Do you every so often hesitate even when you know the exact thing to say?

8. Do you remember something interesting to say after the moment for you to

speak has gone?

9. Do you ever feel left out and abandoned when amidst a group of acquaintances?

10. Do you get vibes that people regard you as too glum or quiet?

11. Do you shrink from parties because you regularly end up sitting all alone?

12. Do you feel culpable when you act like an extrovert – as if you are being fake, or

not putting across the person you really are?

13. Do you fumble and have stammer when everybody is looking at you?

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14. Do you admire expressive, confident-sounding voice in others and wish you had

one too?

15. Do you fall short of smiling or laughing at every available opportunity?

16. Do you ever stand awkwardly and look uptight in social gatherings?

17. Do you feel you fail to make as much eye contact as you should?

18. Do you very few friends and have trouble finding new ones?

19. Do you want to go on more dates instead of staying at home as many times as

you normally do?

20. Does the idea of conversing with a member of the opposite sex cause you

nervousness?

21. Do you fret while talking to an attractive of the opposite gender?

22. Do you have difficulty in asserting yourself when you feel you are being

exploited?

23. Do you have trouble thinking of a comeback line when somebody makes a

wisecrack or smart-alecky remark at your expense?

24. Does asking for a favor sound like impossibility to you?

25. Do you find it difficult to refuse requests of you for errands?

26. Do you have trouble paying or receiving compliments?

27. Do you ward off compliments?

28. Do you from time to time fail to end a conversation with poise?

29. Do you consider that trying to talk more will increase your chances of making

slip ups and embarrassing yourself, so it‘s better to stay quiet and let people

presume that you know more than you actually do?

30. Do you want to be amusing?

So, how do you fare?

0-30 Marvelous! You can vie with the whole world.

30-60 An excellent score. You are absolutely confident.

60-100 You are shy for sure. Develop your confidence.

100-120 An uncommon score, but it's not singular. Take the first step of change

today.

Cultural Codes

Codes are made up of the different elements we use to communicate with others.

For example, we have dress codes, linguistic codes, codes of conduct and so on.

Each code is made up of separate elements which mean something individually but

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much more when combined with other things. We call the separate elements

SIGNS. You will look more closely at signs in the Reading Images and

Products section on this unit.

Dress codes are made up of separate items of clothing which we combine to create

different messages. Some of these messages are social rituals like getting married

or showing grief, at funerals. All cultures use dress like this. Uniforms are also

another way we use dress codes - to communicate authority, if you are a police

officer or to communicate belonging if you are part of an institution, school or

company. You will look more closely at codes such as this in non-verbal codes, but

also in identity and self presentation, where you will learn more about how we

express our feelings and beliefs through appearance.

Language itself is a code - a combination of separate words (or signs) into a huge

variety of different meanings. Aspects such as your gender, class or ethnicity affect

the words you choose and how you combine them.

Finally, the way that we combine all of these elements, language, clothing, body

language etc when we are in groups, to show that we belong, to provide security

and self esteem and to support our own identities is looked at in group

communication.

Codes are made up of a combination of signs. A sign is something which stands for

something else.

A WORD can be a sign - we use it to represent something else. When we put words

together we make a VERBAL code, called Language.

A GESTURE or a FACIAL EXPRESSION can be a sign - we use it to communicate -

a smile is a sign of happiness. We call these NON-VERBAL signs - signs WITHOUT

words.

The exam will expect you to focus on these ideas:

Role, register, perception, culture, context

form, function, role, relationship

Language

Social implications of VC/NVC

Sample Unit 1 Exam Questions

1. Personal communication is much influenced by the gender of both senders and

receivers. Consider gender‘s specific influence on one of the following:

• Body Language

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• Paralanguage

• Appearance

2 Which of the following statements best reflects your understanding of the

relationship between verbal and non-verbal communication in personal

communication. Use examples to support your example.

2a) Verbal communication dictates the meanings of personal communication.

2b) Verbal and non-verbal communication are entirely complementary: they work

together to ensure effective communication.

2c) ‗Actions speak louder than words‘. Most social meanings are carried non-

verbally.

Non-Verbal Codes

There are three categories of non-verbal (without words) communication:

Appearance

Clothing

Hairstyle

Jewellery

Body Language

Facial Expression

Gesture

Posture

Orientation

Proximity

Touch

Paralanguage

Tone

Emphasis

Pace

Volume

Intonation

Definitions of Language

Language is notoriously difficult to define in a very precise way. Lots of people have

tried and here are some of the suggestions:

Language is a complex sign system . It is a set of written symbols or sounds which

are supposed to stand for thoughts, objects, emotions etc. In Module 2 you will

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have learnt about Ferdinand de Saussure's work on sign systems. He was a

linguist, studying language and observed that words worked in a highly symbolic

way - in other words, if you didn't know a word or it's meaning, nothing was

conveyed to you. There is no actual connection between a word and its meaning.

Look at these words: pachyderm, hegemony, picket, notoriety.

Do you know what they mean? Someone has assigned these 'words' or labels to

various things and ideas but if they don't convey anything to you, they don't work

as signs, do they?

De Saussure said that there were two versions of language - langue and parole .

Langue is the underlying rules and codes we use to control our language

Parole is the language actually being used and spoken every day.

Language has also been defined as a ' unique capacity of human beings' . In other

words, language is a skill or ability which only humans have.

The body of words (vocabulary) and ways of combining them (grammar) of a nation,

people or race.

Language is a way of naming the world

Language is a way of expressing thoughts that exist in the head.

What can we express without language/words?

Try miming three short messages to your partner using no verbal communication

(words) at all - you cannot mouth or act out words.

Last year I had much shorter hair than this year.

Meet you after this lesson in the foyer at 4.00

Freedom is essential to human happiness

Which messages were difficult to convey without words (language/verbal comm.)

and why?

What are the characteristics of each method of communication - verbal (language)

and non-verbal?

Finish the statements below on a piece of paper.

Non-verbal communication can..

Verbal communication/language can

Non-verbal communication cannot ...

Verbal communication cannot...

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