Unlocking Emotional Intelligence for excellence in LIfe

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Aum Sri Sai Ram

II MSc. Physics Presentation

Sri Sathya Sai Institute for Higher Learning


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A True Story

Jason H., a student at a Coral Springs, Florida, high school, waskeen on getting into medical school. Not just any medicalschool--he dreamt of Harvard.

But Pologruto, his physics teacher, had given Jason an 50 on aquiz. Getting a mere B grade--put his dream in jeopardy.

Jason took a butcher knife to school and, in a confrontationwith Pologruto in the physics lab, stabbed his teacher in thecollarbone before being subdued in a struggle !

This is a story that brings up the question,

How could someone of such obvious intelligence dosomething so irrational?


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What made him take such a

decision?

More trouble

Foolish action

Outburst of negative emotions.

No control over his mind

Dreams getting shattered


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WHAT ARE EMOTIONS ?

Happiness, fear, anger, affection, shame, disgust,

surprise, lust, sadness, elation, love, frustration,anxiety, failure, achievement etc.

The above are the emotions which directly affect our day-to-daylife. There are TWO dimensions of emotions:

Physiological side: Emotion is a complex state of human mind,involving bodily changes of widespread character such as breathing,pounding heart, flushed face, sweating palms, pulse rate, glandsecretions, etc.

Psychological side, a state of excitement or perturbation marked bystrong feelings.


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Emotions And Their Blends

Anger: fury, outrage, resentment, annoyance,

hostility. Shame: guilt, remorse, humiliation, regret.

Fear: anxiety, nervousness, apprehension, terror.

Enjoyment:happiness, joy, relief, contentment,

pleasure. Sadness: Grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom.

Surprise: Shock, astonishment, amazement wonder.

Love: acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness,infatuation.


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What isEmotional Intelligence ?


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Emotional Intelligence is the capacity forrecognizing our own feelings and those ofothers, for motivating ourselves, and formanaging emotions well in ourselves and inour relationships. Emotional intelligence

describes abilities distinct from, butcomplementaryto, academic intelligence.Daniel Goleman (1998)


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This EQ test is thought- provoking

(and offensive to some)

I do not get angry whenverbally attacked.


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I am comfortable with others

grief, even those in close

relationship to me.


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I get angry or fearful when

physically threatened.


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I am able to love whomsoever I

choose .


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I am comfortable with others'

anger and hate.


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I worry regularly in somecircumstances.


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At times and in somecircumstances I feel shame.


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My anger keeps coming back incertain situations or with Specific

people.


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For some things I have done inthe past, I feel guilty.


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At times I feel degraded andhumiliated.


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Regularly I get anxious aboutsome situations.


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Sadness keeps recurring for meover specific issues.


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Jealousy is sometimes a part ofmy life.


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I get depressed regularly.


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In my life stress never ends.


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I regularly allow my own wracking

sobs and tears.


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Once my sobs and tears have

been released, I feel great.


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I am comfortable saying thewords "I love you" to men,

women and children in a feeling

way.


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Answers


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Are we giving EQ education in

schools/colleges?? NO. Our educational system gives stress on IQ and not on

EQ. We are taught History, Hindi, English, Geography,Physics, anthropology, Botany, Computers, Medicine,Engineering etc.

We are NOT TAUGHT how to handle frustration,

anxieties, stress, failure, depression, burnout, inferioritycomplexes, ego problems.

We are not told to learn how to manage emotions i.e.;interaction, coordination, Adjustment, communication

We are expected to learn all these from our parents, peergroup of other role models.

At the later stages of our lives we are told to masteremotional competencies to be successful.


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What is the difference between EQ and

IQ?Intelligence quotient (IQ) is a measure of a person'sintelligence as indicated by an intelligence test; the ratio of a

person's mental age to their chronological age.

Emotional quotient (EQ) is a term used to measure how muchyou understand your inner self and the tasks you can performsatisfactorily without getting stressed or depressed.


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IQ v/s EQ(Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient)

The research shows

that IQ can help you

to be successful to theextent of 20 percent

only in life. The rest of

80 percent success

depends on your EQ

80%

EQ

20%

IQ


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WHAT IS SUCCESS ???

Is it your IQ: Exams passed, competitions cleared,percentage of marks in schools and colleges,academic qualifications etc.

Or is it :Earning fat salary, top positions inworkplace, being rich and wealthy, powerful,dominating, being influential etc.


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The word "success" is a relative term

Living a healthy and happy married life may be an indicatorof success for some.

Reaching a top position in carrier may be an indicator ofsuccess for others

For some having a satisfying job life or personal satisfactionmay be an indicator of success

Only the tangible achievements may not be indicators ofsuccess in life. Many a times non-tangible performance orachievements may be termed as successful.


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IQ EQ

Gets you hiredGets you

Fired/Promoted

Success in

Professional Life


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35

If only I had a different job

If only I had finished graduation

If only I had been handsome

If only I had been born rich andfamous

If only I had good contacts

If only I had better friends

If only I was intelligent


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Traditionalists High performersSay that emotions

Distract us

Increase our vulnerability

Clouds our judgment

Must be Controlled

Say that emotions

Motivate us

Increase our confidence

Speed up our analysis

Must be Managed


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The Ability Based Model

Perceiving emotions

Understanding emotions

Using emotions

Managing emotions


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Here is a situation..

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your

daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your

business shirt. You have no control over what

just happened.


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What happens next will be determined

by how you react.

You curse and harshly scold your daughterfor knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears.

After scolding her, you turn to your spouse

and criticize her for placing the cup tooclose to the edge of the table.

A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs, you find your daughterhas been too busy crying to finish breakfastand get ready for school.


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And then Your daughter misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 90 Kms an hour in a 40

Km speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing Rs500/- traffic fine away, you arrive at school.

Your daughter runs into the buildingwithout even saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late,you find you forgot your briefcase.


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And then...

Your day has started terrible.

As it continues, it seems to get worseand worse.

You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find smallwedge in your relationship with yourspouse and daughter.


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Why did you have such a bad day ?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?


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The answer is

You had no control over what happenedwith the coffee. How you reacted in those 5

seconds is what caused your bad day.

D) You caused it.


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What could have happened?

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.

You gently say, "Its ok dear, you just need to be morecareful next time".

After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, youcome back down in time to look through the windowand see your child getting on the bus.

She turns and waves.

You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet thestaff.

Your boss comments on how cheerful you always are.


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You really do not have any control over 10%

of what happens to you.

The other 90% of what happens is

determined by your reaction.


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How to improve EQ?

Anyone can be angrythat is easy. But to be

angry with the right person, to the right degree,

at the right time, for the right purpose, and inthe right way that is not easy.


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People are Talking about it NOW in the

corporate world.

BUT

What has swami told about this.??

What does our scriptures say about this ..?

Is there any relation..?


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www.eqindia.com 49

EQIQ

THE PERSONALITY

The

HEADThe

HEART


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How Hostel Life helps us unlock EI?

Community living Adjustment

Self reliance Interdependence

Organising programs Practical Platform

Team Games Cooperation

Coordination

Sense of service


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How Mandir helps us develop EI?

Patience

Reduce anxiety

Peace of mind

Increases Positive attitude toward life

Acceptance

Self introspection


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How to develop EI in Swamis words

When Tukaaraam was asked how man can keep the

monkey mind from running after sensuous pleasures,

he replied to the enquirer, "Let the monkey run; youkeep quiet where you are; do not let the body go

along with the monkey-mind." Tell the mind, "I shall

not give you the body as your servant." Then, the

mind will desist and it can be defeated.Sathya Sai Baba


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Swamis Solution

The ancient Indian sages practised self-control, entertained

good thoughts and led a blissful life. When a man's inner self

is filled with love, his life becomes full of bliss and he is

always hale and hearty Today man suffers from numerous

ailments the root cause of which is a diseased mind. Thereis no death for the mind, though when the body is facing

death the mind thinks it is dying. The mind, it has been said, is

the cause of one's bondage or liberation. Bad thoughts beget

bondage. Good thoughts lead to liberation. Hence, everyone

should develop good thoughts and perform good deeds. Such

good feelings can arise only out of love.


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Unlocking Emotional Intelligence for excellence in LIfe

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