Ni hao~ Welcome back to Uncanny Valley, the home of really bizarre pillow talk!

I know, I know; you're remembering the order from last week, when it went Lindemann>Duman>Hsia>Citizen, but if you remember that far back, you also know I fucking did it wrong, too. So we're popping in in the right order this time, and checking in on the Citizens.

Remember this map? Yes? No? Vaguely? Well, we're basically going in a clockwise spiral from Heaven's place around to Agnar & Eyulf's. Easy peasy, steak & cheesy. This is going to get less and less straightforward as we proceed and add more familes.

Got it? Good. On with the show.

When last we left off, Esperanza was sewing her wild oats as she pleased, and Johan was in pursuit of everything in a set of heels. This is why I like this house.

Best part about this shot? No reflection. Heh. Well, that and the whole pyjamas thing, but you know. Details.

When he's not helping set up things in the “shop” or skilling, Johan calls every woman he knows. Esperanza doesn't give a damn—it's not like they're exclusive or anything.

Will never get tired of this.

Never.

As usual, it's after sunrise by the time he stops doing whatever takes up his time at night, and he has to hurry to his coffin before he starts to smoke.

Remember kids, smoking kills.

(I think I'm going to have to change the coffin out for that Ikea-knockoff one. This is just a bit too morbid and Transylvanian for my concept of him.)

Since the Popularity Sim is bored and wants to invite someone over, I have her call up Ibrahim here and wrangle a date out of him.

You know, if he would ever finish talking about how much he misses the restaurants of Sim City.

That's one way to get his attention.

Proceed: date spam!!

Then she politely invites him inside and um...

Yeah.

/clears throat: The male of the species, sensing grave danger—or perhaps simply that he has made a deep and frightening error in judgement—leaves the area where copulation took place.

It is almost as if he can feel the change already taking place, deep within his mate's body.

The cravings begin soon after.

Esperanza: Must. Have. Sugar. And chocolate.

Ibrahim: Is she just hungry? Is she glowing? That was just from being with me, right? I really hope that's just from being with me. That's a lot of Jell-o on her plate. Urge to flee...rising.

Ibrahim: You know, I should probably go? It's getting late.Esperanza: Oh. No, that's fine; I'm not actually feeling very well right now. Kinda woozy.Ibrahim: CRAP.

Honey, no. We just got those water mains, please don't break them.

Good haul! It's amazing the things you can find buried in the dirt. All pristine and shit.

....Four thousand miles away from a coast, port or museum. Still, good on ya!

And the parasite begins to take hold. That plate? Third or fourth thing she's had to eat today. This is shaping up to be a bad one.

What else is there to do here but tend shop and follow the pregnant girl around?

Why, date, of course!

Viewers, I'd like to introduce you to Mini Skirt Partygirl! I don't actually remember he real name, and she's just aspiration fodder anyway, so it doesn't matter.

A couple of Sweet Talks later, and she's putty in his hands.

Purchase a Flower Arrangement? I think that can be arranged. And yes, you're reading that right—she's a Family Sim. Throw this one back man, she is not a keeper.

It's now almost fall, and we're getting low on food, so it's victory garden time. It's something to do when the night wears long, I suppose.

Esperanza helps, too.

The shop I've mentioned. Sometimes people really want a vase full of daisies, man. Don't hate.

Do note that the big box 'o flowers next to the counter isn't actually for sale: it's just there for decs. On my word. /crosses heart.

Customers piling up, plants unwatered, arrangement unfinished, and what's the owner doing?

Loosing all of her cookies. Feel kinda bad for her. She's a trooper, though.

She did this at least three more times.

Trooper.

Also, that should be a silly question by now.

In between bouts of dry-heaving and shoving plants into little glass jars, Esperanza takes time out to call her good friend, Euphie.

Esperanza: Pregnant? You're kidding.Euphie: It's what it sounds like to me, hon. That happens when you play “Hide the Salami” with the boys. Just drink lots of fluids and take it easy.

Later that day...

Esperanza: Excuse me, disembodied voice in the sky? Something weird's going on!

Boink!

I hope this answers your previous question.

Not that her condition stops her from earning a living. ...As it were.

In fact, she often works until exhaustion. But then, she's easily exhausted these days.

Date Spam 2: Revenge of the Spamening! Family Sim Partygirl is back again. Here's hoping he isn't making a terrible mistake.

Pretty sure he's in his coffin by now, hon. Also, come back by later, buy some flowers. Make yourself useful.

Cravings being what they are, Esperanza makes a serving dish of grilled cheeses and then proceeds to eat like. Three. In one sitting.

I can't imaging that's doing wonders for her Bladder motive, but ah well.

JOHAN. GET OUT OF THE SUN. IT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Paperguy: ...Is that dude...smoking?

When you find yourself pregnant with your neighbor's lovechild, what's a girl to do but invite over her bestie? The one who's been through it all before?

That, and break out your most comfy dress & flats, and make some tea.

And then this chick came back an—

DA FUQ??? Who—wh—th—holy crap! Who even leaves a piano as a date gift? I mean really? That must have been some shifting!

..../sells >_>

Hoping to make himself more useful around the house, Johan sets it upon himself to fix the typewriter.

It only makes sense, as he's the one who broke it.

...I may, however, have neglected to take into account his lack of Mechanical skill.

Don't worry, man, I'm pretty sure eyebrows grow back.

Sexy Elf Guy drops by and I have Esperanza go greet him, because she had one of those Meet New Person +1000 wants in her bar.

And I may or may not be hoping for a couple at some point. Just saying.

Esperanza: Oh, I'm fine, you know! Pregnant. Barefoot. Standing in the kitchen. It's all good.Stephanie: Every woman's dream, huh?

At least she has a sense of humour about it.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Esperanza: Wo-ree!

Spin and catch, hon. Just spin and catch.

Outside, by the dangerous, jury-rigged electrical device and observed by the townies: nowhere I'd rather give birth, how about you?

Esperanza: ¡AY DIOS MIO! —Oh, un bebé!

Humans and assorted sundry other gentlefolk, I present to you: María Suzan Duman de la Cruz.

Mouthful, eh? Hush, I like it.

And since there's no end to the chores in this town, it's almost immediately back to weeding/skilling/managing shop, with the added bonus of nappies and bottles! Oh happy day.

Johan: So, you new about town? Hoping to buy some flowers for the kitchen? Making acquaintances?

Johan: HISSSSS!Esperanza: Very subtle, sweetheart.

This little flower shop (that I have yet to truly name) often operates long into the evening, because they're both up (briefly) and Esperanza doesn't have to stop making flowers to check out customers and restock the merchandise. And since Johan doesn't have a clue about flower arranging, he can handle the gritty bits. He likes gritty bits, anyway.

Also! Note the vase of tulips! She has her bronze badge!

And then this happens. No chimes, no worries.

But you knew this was going to happen, right? Right.

If you feelin' like a pimp, go on brush your shoulders off—

Sorry. That was embarrassing for me, too. Let's, uh, never speak of this again.

Sometimes, she sits in his room and reads, watching him sleep.

It's like Twilight, only in reverse.

And not as gross.

Other times, she just puts María in the baby bouncer and paints for a while. Now that I think of it, there's two easels in this house, and they're almost always covered in paintings of varying states of completion. At least they're good for dough at the moment.

Which is, of course, not the only thing they're good for.

I don't remember if those are pole beans or eggplants. Probably eggplants.

There's only one reason the bed gets made in this house. You know what that reason is. I don't even have to say anything.

Random Created Townie walkby gets greeted later that day...

And there's a brief reprieve for some sales revenue...

(You. Yes you. Get in my gene pool.)

And then Gary comes over! And brings Handsome Elf Guy! And they talk about....lube. Yeah I don't even.

He's not the only one, though, cause like the whole town is here. The whole town. And then some.

See the cake in the background? Guess what time it is!

BIRTHDAY PARTY TIME!

The only reason we're having one of these is because someone Wanted one. And it's not the someone the party is for.

I guess it's a bit too cold out here for a sleeveless dress, so I think I can forgive the Maxis-mesh maternity wear.

Finally, everyone gathers around for the caking of the baby. Many noise makers are broken out and most of the townspeople rejoice!

Father is present, but not all here.

And then the rock, and the toss, aaaaand—

Ta-da! Toddler María! Look out for that faceful of confetti, Esperanza.

Oh yes. Very much yes. A nice blend of both parents. I can't wait to see how she looks as she grows.

Then I have her set María down so she can socialise with the only other child in town. Allison wonders who this tall lady is, and why she's fascinated by her. First time I've seen a “___ is a Popularity Sim!” done by a toddler.

Whoops! First instruction to Huggle didn't go so well!

Second one goes fine, though. ~Huggle~

Amusing Simultaneous Swooning. No one can resist his swank vampiric charms. Apparently.

And what's this?

Why, it's the Have a Fabulous Party Dongle!

And I figure I could give the tot a haircut, and maybe a change of clothes. I like her with the curly hair.

Actually, I just like curly hair in general. So there. So María gets beach waves.

And so begins the barrage of Potty Training Face. You know it, I know it.

Then it's back to romancing the roommate. I don't think he minds.

It's about 8pm on Sunday night; a little later than usual, but I wanted to finish the party, so we're going to be moving on now.

—Oh, and last but not least, María's personality spread. That's right: ONE single nice point. Yikes. This should be fun :3

Before I send you off this time, I have a few slides that didn't quite fit into the narrative? But I wanted to present them to you anyway, because you might get a giggle out of them.

Outtakes:Oh, Johan. That's so...so you.

This? This is why I keep letting him call her back for dates. Pretty much no other reason.

He dug this up, mind. Don't ask me why it's buried in the desert and in pristine condition. Sims.

Ibrahim: Let me just mop up this puddle for you, woman I knocked up! 8D

That's the end! <3