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P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFELS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDEP LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFELS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE

Sherri Cooks | Uncle Esel Advises | The Mexican Answers | Colby Gets Last Word

NONE SHALL PASS !

NONE SHALL PASS!

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table of contents

1st WordSTANDOFF!3

Advice fromUncle EselGot a problem? You will.

12

7Citizen

SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of

its kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!

LineCrushers! Week Ten Results! 4

11

CalendarStuf f to do. Go do stuf f.

Hot in the KitchenBeaney, potatoey deliciousness.

15 Last WordColby breaks down acouple of mid-terms.

5

The County ’s Most Wanted Look Mommy! Daddy’s in the paper!

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in

two languages.

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New Braunfels, TX

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Urbina's

Press

Island Enforcer

2 AD SALES 830.358.24932 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3

Publisher’s Note: This Tuesday, before we went to press, a young man was airlifted from Canyon High School to a San Antonio area hospital after a fight left him seriously injured. As of press time, the victim was still being treated for his injuries. We are updating the story as information is released by law enforcement, and posting those updates on our Facebook page at facebook.com/txcitizen. All of us here sincerely hope for a full recovery for the injured student.

Hey, remember how we said we cover that police understaffing problem for the last two weeks only to have Island hijinks bump the piece? Yeah, well, here we go again.

The Island, OccupiedLast Saturday, the Urbina family decided to visit The Island off the banks of the Landa Park Estates neighborhood. They were told to leave the premises by residents of said neighborhood under threats of calling the police. The Urbina’s politely told them to, yes, please do call the police.

Oh no. The Islanders weren’t expecting THAT.

So the police were called, and the residents showed them a bunch of paperwork that supposedly proved that The Island is private property. The police weren’t convinced, and while they sat down and had a conversation with the Urbina’s, they did not arrest them, write them a ticket, force them to leave, or even issue a warning.

Uh-oh. The Islanders really weren’t expecting THAT.

The next day, The Islanders decided that if the police weren’t going to enforce their

mythological right to a private island, that they would simply close the whole thing down. “Ha! Now nobody can use it. See? You outsiders ruined

it for everybody.” (See Cover)That didn’t work either.

In response to the situation with the Urbina’s, visitors came a callin’, and, understanding that private citizens don’t have the right to close land they couldn’t prove title to, went ahead and (GASP) stepped over the chain and caution tape. Once again, an Islander surfaced on The now-closed Island, and ordered the visitors to leave or he’d call the police. That didn’t work, because, frankly, if someone is willing to ignore a homemade “closed” sign and already knows the police won’t arrest them, they’re pretty much already ready to stay put already.

The police showed up, talked to everybody, and, once again, did not arrest anybody, write them a ticket, force them to leave, or even issue a warning. Our guess is that The Islanders thought their homemade signage and the chain upped the ante enough to either keep people out or force the police to take more serious action. After doubling-down on a losing bet, it’s now clear to us that the Islanders have a gambling problem. Tragic.

Let’s talk about some of the other signs down there. Wait. Before we do that, let’s discuss the parties involved. It’ll make the sign thing easier to understand.

First of all, there’s Comal County Water Recreation District #1. That’s a group of homeowners that pay into a fund set up by an emergency act of the State’s legislature for weed and mosquito abatement.

Continued on page 6.

WORD1STMIKE

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IT’S A JEEP THING…The First Annual New Braunfels Jeep Club Chili Bash is this Saturday, the

16th, from noon till night at Koozies Ice House on River Road. There will be tons of stuff to do! Check out the ad below for more info.

FOOD TRUCKS FOR FREEDOMSaturday, November 16, from 1pm to 11pm at Rockin’ R in Gruene. Live

music from Charlie Robison, The Hogg Maulies, Jennifer Sullivan and the Wes Nickson Band, along with food, family fun and auctions.

For more info, check out the ad on page 13, or at facebook.com/FoodTrucks4Freedom.

DOGGIE CARNIVALThe fifth annual Doggie Carnival is this Saturday, the 16th, from 11 to

3 at Texas Ski Ranch, 6700 N IH35. There will be raffles, prizes & auctions. Contests include paw art, limbo, peanut-butter-licking & many more. Check out newbraunfelsdogpark.com for more info.

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUSCome down to Got Toys at the corner of Mill & Castell streets for Santa

pictures on Saturday the 23rd from noon to 3. Bring your own camera to capture the moment.

CALENDAR

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Send the details to calendar@txcitizen.com.

First Annual New Braunfels Jeep Club Chili Bash

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Saturday, November 16at Koozies from Noon till the Moon

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In honor of Veterans Day, I wanted to dedicate a recipe to my father who served in the Army’s

1st Calvary in Vietnam. I called my parents and asked what my father’s favorite dish was and

he responded with just a simple red beans & rice. So, I set out to make the best red beans &

rice ever! In the kitchen helping me was my good friend and New Braunfels resident, Angela

Schiller. Angie served in the Army as a medic. She was here last week sampling my Irish Cream

and explained how disappointed she was that the potato pancake line at Wurstfest was so long!

So, in honor of both of these proud Vets, I gave them what they wanted and rightfully deserve!

Fried Potato Pancakes• 4largerussetpotatoes,washed,peeled,andcoarselyshredded

• 1whiteonion,finelydiced

• 2eggs

• ¼cupmilk

• 2tblsflour

• Salt&peppertotaste

Shred the potatoes and dice the onions, blend and set aside to drain. Mix remaining

ingredients and add potatoes and onions. Form small pancakes and place in skillet over

medium heat and cook until golden brown on each side. Serve with dollop of applesauce or

sour cream and chives.

New Orleans Red Beans & Rice

• 1whiteonion,chopped

• 3clovesofgarlic,chopped

• 1greenbellpepper,chopped

• 8cupsofwater

• 1lbsdryredbeans

• 2stalkscelery,chopped

• 2bayleaves

• 1tspCajunseasoning

• Smallbunchoffreshthyme

• DashofTabascototaste

• 1lbsAndouilleorspicysausage

• 3cupscookedrice

Add all chopped vegetables, water, beans, and seasonings to a large pot and simmer on

medium heat until the beans are tender; about 3 hours. You may grill the sausage or just cut

into bite size chunks and add to you beans for the last hour. Cook rice as directed on package

and serve.

Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

Sherri

Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.

Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri Gallagher

6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7

Continued from page 3. Then there are the homeowners in

general. While the two groups crossover, all claims to The Island come from deeds issued to homeowners, and there has never been any transfer of, well, whatever rights they believe they have, to the District. That means that, per their own arguments of Spanish land grants and what-not, the District does not own The Island. Oops.

Comal County Water Recreation District #1 has signs all over the place obstructing public entrances to the water. These signs, according to the City of New Braunfels, were placed without an ordinance, making them non-enforceable, and probably very illegal, as State law provides that the public may enter a river where a street terminates at one. As you can see, the District also misspelled the initials of… the District.

So if the City is correct that these signs were placed without an ordinance, we know, for a fact, that the District is willing to put up illegal signage at public entrances to the Comal River. Credibility = Shot. Here they misspelled “Trespassing”. Sloppy, sloppy:

Why stop at three S’s?

So what do we have now? A stalemate, that’s what. At this point, one or more of four things will happen.

1) The Islanders will stop calling the police on visitors.

2) The public will tire of going to The Island.

3) The police will stop showing up at The Island.

4) The police will start ticketing and/or arresting people.

Once somebody gets arrested for trespassing, (or even, god forbid, “TRESSPASSING”), this whole thing goes to court. And that’s where the fun really begins, because the Islanders will have to prove, with their unwieldy mish-mash of claims and paperwork, that they have an exclusive right to Spring Island. The fact that they are willing to put up illegal signs and chase people out of the water might work against them. I don’t know. Just thinking out loud. On paper.

After interviewing the police and Urbina family last Saturday, we asked the assembled Islanders if they had a comment for the media. They had no comment beyond “We don’t see any media here.” We then asked if they’d like to file a complaint against us for trespassing on their “private island”. They all shook their heads in silence. Creepy.

Every time we write about this, it gets worse for the Islanders, which is fine with us. But if they were smart they would have let the Urbina’s hang out in peace, because calling the police not only attracted more visitors, it emboldened them, got our attention, cost them yet another article, and maybe worst of all, got a ton of people on Facebook very interested in the location of The Island. People that didn’t even know it was there keep finding out exactly where it is, because we keep getting excuses to write about it. Here’s a map:

Enjoy.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

243 N. Union Ave 830-629-2662 Like us on

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The Pour HausTBA

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Watering Hole SaloonAllan Goodman & Matt Briggs

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Floore’s Country StoreBob Schneider, Cory Morrow

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Uncle Esel is on vacation in the Philippines this week in order to get away from the drunken masses that invade New Braunfels for Wurstfest. Please enjoy these vintage letters and Uncle Esel will return just as soon as these people get the heck out of town and the vomit is washed out of the gutters.

Dear Uncle Esel,I come to you with a question that

I have often pontificated. What is the measure of a man? And I don’t mean length or height. There seems to be some confliction in the definitions I have been given in the past, such as how much money he has. Some of the greatest men have been broke more than once. What people think of them? Who cares what people think, magic happens when you don’t care. Accomplishments? Some of the biggest jerks are very accomplished. The amount of people that love them? That’s great but is that it? I mean really... What IS the measure of a man?

Do Tell,Genuinely Curious

Dear Curious One,Well, I’ve known many women who

looked for all the traits above in search of their measured man, looking for their version of perhaps a Troy Aikman or the like, but I found this song written instead by Clay Aiken:

Ooo oooOoo oooIf one day you discover himBroken down He’s lost everythingNo cars, no fancy clothesTo make him who he’s notThe woman at his sideIs all that he has gotSo I guess what I mean to say, is that it’s

all about the woman we choose that in the end, defines the measure of the man. Happy hunting to you and to Clay. Oooo, ooo.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,I know you turn things into jokes,

but I want a real answer here. Don’t our politicians understand what they pass? I mean, we have laws passed that are instantly challenged in the courts and in my opinion our civil liberties get trounced on and these politicians just say they don’t have a problem with that. Don’t they know or understand what they are doing?

Fed Up,Douglas

Dear Doug,Wow, that’s some serious editorial type

ranting going on there. So to answer your question, politicians at all levels often pass legislation that they do not know, understand or even care about. When the voluminous health care bill was presented, no one had enough time to read it and comprehend the impact, but it still passed. in 1971, Texas Representative Tim Moore put in language in a resolution that thanked Albert de Salvo for his dedication to his work and for being recognized by the state of Massachusetts for his work. Never heard of him? You may know him by his more common moniker, the Boston Strangler. It was a joke which passed, much like some of our recent ordinances.

Love, K

Dear Uncle Esel, Is it true the administration has

bought an Internet voting system from a foreign company that will be used to run future election for the President? Seems just like the government to buy something from a foreign country instead of a US company. Should we be worried about the security of the election?

Thanks,Beth

Dear Beth,Our elections are run at the state level

and not by the federal government, but a few states have reached out to a Spanish company that has an online voting system. Initial testing has shown it to be ineffective and riddled with security issues, so we aren’t likely to see it any time soon. Perhaps some readers are putting together news stories about this Spanish company and the Robin Williams movie, Man of The Year in which Williams plays a comedian turned would-be Senator after a computer glitch gives him a win. So, not to worry, at least for now, our jokers still get elected the old fashioned way, by bussing in supporters and giving ballots to dead people and their dogs.

Love, K

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@txcitizen.com. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.

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HESS, JASONCHRISTOPHERMale • 6’00” • 240 lbsDOB: 03/27/1975CHARGE: Motion to revoke for burglary of habitation

CHAVEZ,GERARDOMale • 5’09” • 160 lbsDOB: 11/15/1966CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxicated/open alcohol container 3rd or more

TORRES, ROXANNE STELLAFemale • 5’08” • 180 lbsDOB: 11/25/1986CHARGE: Failure to appear for theft of property

WILSON,STEPHEN DANEMale • 6’04” • 230 lbsDOB: 11/01/1979CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for aggregated theft

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues.This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, November 4, 2013 at 10:05 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

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By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Could it really be

possible for a terrorist to sneak into the

U.S. through the southern border, or is

that just more fear-mongoring from

the conservatives?

NOT CRAZY ABOUT QUDS

Dear Gabacho: Of course it’s possible,

but we’re really not going to know until we

find out, right? American officials have gone

on the record as stating drug cartels have

established ties with groups like Hamas and

Hezbollah yet haven’t offered conclusive

proof (and that rumor you heard about Al

Qaeda establishing camps in Mexico to

train terrorists to look like my Tío Lencho?

Pinche false). But I don’t think the cartels are

so pendejo to assist terrorists hell-bent on

destroying America from within—after all,

they already have that market to themselves.

Dear Mexican: Some years ago we

attended a family reunion in Cuba, New

Mexico where the Mexican branch of

the family put on a skit and they used

a recording of a song but it has gone

missing and we all would love to find

a source to purchase this song. The

family says it was an old 45 rpm record

but they can’t find it now and don’t

know who the artist was. It’s a gas of a

song and if you’ve never heard it before,

I would bet you would have a good

laugh over it. The song is about a young

Mexican boy who falls in love with a girl

(can’t remember her name.) His daddy

tells the boy he can’t marry the girl so

the boy asks the daddy why. The daddy

replies something like “Maria is your

sister but your Mama don’t know.” In

frustration the boy goes over and cries

to his Mama about the situation and the

song ends with the Mama smirking and

telling the son not to worry because

“Your Daddy’s not your Daddy but your

Daddy don’t know.”

A friend suggested the song might

be titled “Hey, Pepito” but we’re just not

sure. Perhaps in your travels, or over

the radio audience you might be able to

help me find the correct title and maybe

even a source to obtain the track.

A MEXICAN NEW MEXICAN

Dear Wabette: The name of the canción

your family played is called “Ay Pepito!”

because that’s the memorable chorus of

the song (and the girl you mentioned was

Marie). The performer was Baby Gaby, part

of the Sanchez dynasty of New Mexican

music headed by the legendary Al Hurricane

(who once played at one of your humble

Mexican’s book signings in ABQ). But the

song’s real name is “Shame and Scandal in

the Family,” and Gaby most likely covered

the version sung by Mexican-American

artist Trini Lopez. Lopez, in turned, joined

legendary American recording artists like

the Stylistics and Johnny Cash in covering

a song called “Shame and Scandal”

recorded by ska and reggae titans ranging

from the Skatalites to the Wailers (with Peter

Tosh in the lead). They, in turn, were giving

their spin to a calypso classic originally

grabada by Sir Lancelot in the 1940s. And

if you think Mexicans taking inspiration from

calypso is strange, you obviously don’t know

the similarly tangled history of “Esa Chica

Me Vacila” (“That Chick Teases Me”), the

techno-banda favorite by Banda Vallarta

Show, a remake of the punta ditty “Ella

Me Vacila”(“She Teases Me”) by Grupo

Kazzabe, itself taken from “Lady Teaser”

by Byron Lee and the Dragonaires, who got

his inspiration for the track from the soca

standard “Teaser” by Becket. Back to Baby

Gaby: Give him credit for Mexicanizing the

song by crooning the lyrics in a Jose Jimenez

accent and giving the previously nameless

character of the tale the nombre Pepito,

proving that there are some New Mexicans

not afraid of their Mexican roots.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.

com/askamexicano!

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Mid-Term NJ Trouncing, VA Street FightOur latest set of elections was part of an off-year and, therefore mostly boring, but there were two high points that are worth mentioning.

The first of these was Chris Christie’s landslide win over his Democratic opponent… what was her name again? (Barbra Buono) The race ended 60 to 39 percent for Christie. This would be an impressive trouncing anywhere, but for a Republican in a deep blue state, it’s shocking.

How was this done? Well, Christie’s win was in no small part due to his ability to attract voters of all types. Christie, of course, did well with Republicans. He received 93 percent support overall, and exit polling had him doing quite well, the high 80s, with both conservatives and Tea Partiers. He also managed to beat his opponent in some key Democratic constituencies. He carried 57 percent of the women’s vote and made in-roads with black voters, taking 21 percent. Overall, it appears that Christie managed to garner 32 percent of the Democrat vote.

Now, Christie’s win wasn’t a surprise to anyone. He was expected to win, and he was expected to win big. His opponent was weak and received very little support from the party (who likely were unwilling to throw too much money away on a lost cause). Still, Christie will almost certainly be one of the frontrunners for the Republican presidential race of 2016, and a win like this says a lot about him as a candidate in the primaries, all of it good.

Christie’s real problem in getting the Republican nomination will probably be the perception that he is not conservative enough. The RINO label has even been thrown about more than once. He has staked out typically conservative positions on both same-sex marriage and abortion, but many feel he has not been aggressive enough if trying to legislate on either of those positions. In addition, his perhaps poorly timed embrace of Obama may have helped him to facilitate funds for hurricane Sandy relief, but it did little to convince conservatives or the Tea Party that he was the candidate for them. (His handling of hurricane Sandy probably did help with both groups in New Jersey, but it hurt him nationally.) Lastly, he has been a little quick to criticize Tea Partiers and conservatives in their Washington battles, most recently in the shutdown battle.

I have to admit, as a Tea Party supporter, I have my concerns about Christie too. I don’t

need him to champion traditional marriage or anti-abortion legislation, but he does seem a bit too establishment for me. I would like to believe that Christie is a political realist, but I’m not yet sure. I would like to see him take some strong constitutional stances to win me over. There are lots of options in this regard, and a little might go a long way. Christie has a strangely good-natured irascibility to him that plays well to me, and I think might make him a great national candidate.

The second race of some import from the 2013 elections was the Virginia governor’s race. In this race the Democrat won. Terry McAuliffe beat Ken Cuccinelli, 48-45 percent. Again, McAuliffe was a favorite in the race, but the end result was far closer than most anticipated it would be. The race, as a whole, has a number of implications in future elections.

The first of these is that Virginia now has a Democratic governor. Virginia will be a key swing state in 2016, and McAuliffe is a long-time friend of the Clintons. This can only be helpful if Hillary Clinton is the Democratic candidate, as she almost surely will be. Virginia has been getting bluer and bluer over time, its proximity to D.C. meaning plenty of Democrat-voting federal workers in the north of the state.

The fact that the race was so close is a second factor for Democrats. Cuccinelli’s popularity truly nose-dived after the government shutdown that was blamed on Republicans in general and the Tea Party in particular. Things quickly turned around, though, after the Obamacare website opened. It appears that Obamacare is worse news for Democratic candidates than anyone had anticipated. Democrats are distancing themselves from President Obama and his healthcare law in advance of the 2014 elections. If Obamacare should continue to be a kerfuffle,expectDemocratstosufferlossesandperhaps even lose the Senate.

For Republicans, Cuccinelli’s showing is equally important. Cuccinelli was not the Republican establishment’s choice. He was made the candidate by a coalition of Tea Party and conservative voters. The Republican Party, seeing that Cuccinelli was an underdog and happy to stick it to those voters intent on bucking the system, severely underfunded Cuccinelli, invested only a third of what they had in the last race for governor. The hope was clearly to offer an “I told ya so” to the more maverick-y portion of their base.

With Cuccinelli coming within three percentage points of winning, that idea has

backfired. The Republican Party looks to have thrown away a possible win, and an important one at that. Because of this, a new scapegoat will be needed, but fear not; you can always blame the Libertarians.

The Libertarian candidate for governor took six percent of the vote in this race, and if you believe that most of those votes would have otherwise been Republican, it can be said that Libertarian lost the race for Cuccinelli. That’s a big “if”, though.

One thing that should be noted is that both Ron and Rand Paul came out for Cuccinelli against the libertarian candidate. There has been some speculation that the Libertarian candidate, Robert Sarvis, was a spoiler placed in the race by Democrats, and both the Pauls appeared to see Sarvis as somewhat less than libertarian. This undoubtedly helped Cuccinelli with some libertarians, but it wasn’t enough to send him over the top.

I suppose I could wring my hands over this, but I won’t for a couple of reasons. First, while the Paul’s are acknowledged superstars with liberty-minded voters, they can’t be said to speak for all libertarians – after all, both ran and held office as Republicans. I can’t speak with certainty about Sarvis’ origins, but his views don’t appear to be completely outside of the realm of libertarian thought. Second, I just don’t accept that the Republican candidate should have some sort of right to libertarian votes regardless of how close the race is.

It may even be that there is an opportunity here for Republicans. I don’t live in Virginia, but I can speak as someone who has libertarian values and might vote for a Republican like Rand Paul or even Ted Cruz. Since the Tea Party and Obama excesses have pushed Libertarians to the Republican Party, Republicans have been far too certain of their hold on our vote. The assumption is that a Democrat is so much worse a choice for liberty that the Republican is the only viable option. For most of us, this just isn’t true. We have voted for, and been burned by, Republican candidates before. It’s not enough to not be the other guy. Try to remember that you have to earn libertarian votes too.

Consider this an open message to the Republican Party as a whole. Sometimes six percent can matter. If you want our vote, work for it.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law

Board Certified in Criminal LawTexas Board of Legal Specialization

651 S. WalnutSuite D #228New Braunfels, Tx 78130

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382 IH 35 S. / New Braunfels

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Win a Yeti!New Braunfels Firefighters Pipes and Drums

are raffling off two Yeti coolers (35 and 45 quart) on

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Tickets are just $5 each,and the proceeds go to support our mission of honoring fallen Firefighters,

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Bring your camera, your family, and your friends,

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